


It Happens

by gabsmatos



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, M/M, Phase One (Gorillaz), Phase Two (Gorillaz), Roleplay, Roleplaying Character, Sexual Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2019-08-26 19:11:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 60
Words: 475,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16687336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabsmatos/pseuds/gabsmatos
Summary: Set in phase 1/2.Roleplay adaptation .





	1. Kong Studios

Murdoc looked up at Kong Studios as he stood at the entrance. It'd been awhile since he'd been back, having finally gotten out of that blasted prison in Mexico. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself to see his band mates again. He hadn't seen them in a year and he knew they were already in there, waiting.

He took a deep breath, adjusted the backpack on his back, and pushed open the door. He noticed immediately, all three were in the living room, talking and catching up. They didn't seem to notice he had even walked in.

He huffed, a little angry. He dropped the backpack to the ground, creating a loud thump. This seemed to get their attention. They stopped talking and looked back at him. He gave them a charming grin, flashing his unnaturally sharp teeth.

"Did you not miss me?"

Stuart was finally back at Kong... but he could tell that the year he was far from there was really good for himself. He became a bit more confident and without Murdoc around bugging him, less scared and hesitant. He could say he was a bit cocky, but he didn't mind... much time apart Murdoc would have some effect like that.

When the bassist came home they were all expecting him already, talking like nothing had happened... Noodle was older, and now she was able to speak properly English and communicate with them... it was good. She was aware of her origins too and that's what they were talking when Murdoc disturbed. Russel was the same as always talkative and friends with Del, Tha Ghosta rapper.

Soon when he got home Stuart slowly lifted his head to him "Missed? Maybe just a bit" and a large smirk appeared on his face. He had missed him of course, the good stuff... that was little. Noodle and Russel looked at him, not as happy as Murdoc thought they would be.

"How was in prison, mate...? Still smelling like burrito..?" He teased knowing his time apart was better than the green-skinned man.

Murdoc's smile quickly dropped to a frown, then a scowl. He wasn't sure what their reaction would be, but he thought it'd be better than that. The dullard seemed a little cockier than when they'd last been together. Murdoc wasn't a fan of it. He preferred the 2D that worshipped him.

"Shut up, Dullard." He spat. "I actually had a lovely time in Mexico. I got a degree, I became the proud owner if a gorgeous raven, I had lots of hookers, it was a blast… till I went to jail." He walked over to the couches to have a seat, ruffling Noodles full head of hair. She was on the end next to 2D and Russ was on the other couch.

Murdoc chose to sit next to the dullard, kicking his long legs out of the way as he walked by. He flopped down and stretched his arms out to rest on the back of the couch, his hand close to 2D's head.

"So, Noodle. You called us all back together, what'd you have in mind, love?" While he asked this, he got his hand close to the dullard's hair and yanked on a small tuft, snickering as the kid glared at him.

"Well," she started, her English had improved dramatically, but it was still slightly broken. "I was thinking maybe we could begin work on another album. I have already started on a few songs actually. Would you guys be interested?

Stuart felt really annoyed about Murdoc behavior. Now he remembered how he hated the way Murdoc always treated him.

He smiled when heart he went to jail. He frowned and folded his arms to him, Murdoc remained unbearable.

When the girl said about the album "Of course we're interested right guys...?" he spoke excitedly thinking the band was his, a bit cocky himself. "I can’t wait to record again, especially if it was your idea Noods.." he told her with a smile not acknowledging Murdoc next to him messing with his hair. The girl had a big announcement in the end, a new album after one year hiatus huh? Good he thought.

"Yeah D, I think it's a great idea too. Muds?" Russel looked over at Murdoc, who was glaring at the back of 2D's head, unhappy at getting ignored.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. It's great Noodle." He waved it off. Noodle continued to discuss the album and what songs she had already started with Danger Mouse over the summer.

He impressed, but only half listening. He was more interested in getting 2D's attention. He poked the kid on the ribs, hard. *That ought to do it.* He thought.

Stuart was quietly listening to the younger band member happy that everyone agreed to start a new album. He was excited to see the lyrics the songs and boom that tosser poking his ribs.

Murdoc knew how he hated that and he yelled once he did it, disturbing Noodle and everybody. He frowned with his face red from embarrassment and anger "What's your sodding problem?" he asked the bassist. "We are in the middle of something serious here..." he told him angrily.

Murdoc smiled innocently, holding his hands up, acting innocent. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He shrugged at the other two glaring at him.

They knew his antics. Neither Russel nor Noodle were surprised he was messing with 2D. They had hoped 2D's newfound attitude would help keep Murdoc at bay, but apparently, it did not.

Russel pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing dramatically. "Okay. I'm not doing this. Noodle. Let’s give these two a moment, they obviously need to work some things out. Come on, baby girl." He stood up with Noodle, guiding a frustrated girl out of the room. Murdoc could hear Russel continuing to talk to her as they walked down the hallway, away from them.

"Good going Dullard, now they left." Murdoc chuckled, putting his feet up onto the table, getting comfortable.

"Good going?" He frowned "You started this time ya tosser, I was just listening to them when you poked me... don’t say it like it was my fault" He was really angry "it's your fault." He shifted his body a bit far from Murdoc's

He took a deep breath "What do you want...?" He asked sounding less angry "I was interested in what Noodle was saying, just that."

Murdoc smiled devilishly, noticing 2D shifting away from him. He loved being in control of this kid. It was too easy, he just needed to remind 2D who was really in charge. 

He brought his feet off the table and sat up as he spoke, "Nothing much, my dear Stu. Just putting you back in your place is all. You seemed to have forgotten, you owe me your life, yeah?" He leaned closer to the boy, lifting his hand up to play with a bit of his blue hair by his ear.

Stuart flinched with that approach "Look, Muds we just met after one year apart... I think we should just hear what the others have to say right...?" He looked at him "She had ideas for a new album... Aren't you excited for making music again with... us, y'know as a band?" He asked looking to the hand on his hair. Why was Murdoc being this kind? It wasn't a good signal... He didn't bother about his place, actually the singer didn't even think about that, excited about singing again.

Murdoc frowned, putting his hand fully into 2D's hair and grabbing a handful of it. He tried not to grab it too hard, but he still needed to make a point. He used this to bring 2D closer to him, enjoying the little yelp he let out.

 

"Just remember, dullard. Don't get too cocky. This is _my_ band. You're _my_ singer. You sing whenever I say. Got it? He stared straight into 2D's black orbs for eyes, trying to read his reaction.

Stuart yelped at that his face turning into a grimace from pain but he wouldn’t give Murdoc that taste. Soon his features became serious. It hurt of course but he wouldn't show. His face was emotionless. He frowned a bit. He didn't whimper or said his stupid excuses with his girly voice full of fear.

"I got it Mu’doc." He changed while away staring into his eyes back, not bothering with what Murdoc was doing. His tone of voice equally emotionless. "Now let me go." he said firmly.

Murdoc was slightly shocked by 2D's confidence. He quickly frowned to try to hide it. He hadn't prepared for this reaction, having nothing witty to say back. He let go of his hair slowly as he continued to eye the boy.

"Good." He said hesitantly. He immediately hated how weak that sounded, he tried to appear more confident. "Good. Now go get me a beer, Faceache." He leaned back to his spot, slamming his feet back onto the table and crossing his arms.

Stuart frowned to that " _No._ " His tone was really monotonous "I'm your singer. I don't, get beers. I sing." He combed his hair with his fingers, the part Murdoc messed up. He hated that nickname he had given him, always had. He folded his arms.

If Murdoc punched him now well... He knew it could happen once he was back home. Murdoc stayed the same but Stuart no.. He was just too tired and sick of his shit already.

Murdoc raised his eyebrows in shock. He was surprised by 2D saying no, but he was also surprised by 2D admitting he was Murdoc's singer. This 2D wasn't as obedient as before, but he was proving to be more fun. Murdoc was looking forward to the future.

Murdoc finally chuckled, "Fine. Fair enough, Faceache. I'm going to go unpack my shit, at least go let out little Noodle she can go over the songs with us later, yeah?" He stood up and looked down at 2D one last time before turning and going back to grab his backpack he'd dropped near the door before. He winked at the kid, a devious smile playing on his face, as he made his way back to his old room. 

He hadn't expected this type of 2D when he'd agreed to come back. A part of him had hoped the kid would have been happy to see him again, knowing Noodle and Russel wouldn't be excited to see him. He wasn't quite sure what to make of a 2D that stood up to him. It made Murdoc a little excited.

Stuart was surprised he didn't get punch or yelled at. Murdoc was a bit different after all. "Go on mate... you know where is your Winnie still right?" He smiled a bit to him. A cocky smile. "After we can do that sounds good." He agreed.

The singer didn't know why but that smile and wink made him shiver. Murdoc was still the same after all... but this time Stuart wouldn't bow his head anymore. He wanted to be treated like equal to everybody, not humiliated and mistreated like he was. Murdoc could do it couldn't he? Stuart wouldn't deny singing to him. He would be nice if he was nice to him.

With his head full of thoughts after the first meet with Murdoc he knew the bassist wanted his attention... of course. He was glad to have him back... but wouldn't show or Murdoc would began stepping on him and treating him like garbage once again. It wasn't fair.

As a suggestion he decided to grab a beer for himself. Maybe he could think about all that while drinking.

Murdoc walked out to the car park, the place that held his Winnebago. He pried open the rusted door and walked up the little steps and in. He threw his backpack on the floor. There was no way he was going to unpack, he didn't give a shit about that actually. He just needed a moment to think. He looked around his old place, it'd been just as he'd left it, possibly even dirtier.

He looked around till he found his old fridge. He opened it and gave a little whistle. It was still nicely stalked with his old beer and malt liquor. He grabbed one and popped it open.

He sat down on his bed and looked around at all the items he'd left behind. He took a sip of his beer, realizing just how quiet his Winnie was. After spending time away, he had forgotten just how quiet it could be. It used to not bother him but now it really did.

He too a few more large gulps, hoping it'd help with this empty feeling he suddenly had. It wouldn't go away. He thought, when he'd come back he wouldn't feel like this anymore. He was happy to be with his band mates again, even if they weren't as happy to see him. This was his band though and he'd be damned if he let them continue it without him. He laid back and watched his ceiling, letting the thoughts consume him.

Stuart thought for a second if he had already drink enough. Only 2 cans but was enough to make him slightly dizzy. Dense as he was, he thought Murdoc would want a beer as he had "ordered" the singer to take. He wanted to be kind and offer him, as they just reached home after so much time apart... He couldn't help but let the part that wanted to be soft with Murdoc appear.

Soon, he went out the kitchen with another can and went outside hoping he could find Murdoc in his Winnie unpacking his things as he said he would do. Knowing Murdoc well it didn't sound like he would actually unpack, but we'll we all changed maybe he had changed too.

When he got closer Stuart shivered. That Winnie carried some of the deepest memories he had with the Satanist... and there it was, almost untouched, rusty maybe but whole. He sighed.

How may night Murdoc got drunker much more than he needed and called the blue Boy to rant, to cry or to have his breakdowns...? In addition, how many times he stood there and in the next morning got kicked out or punched but when Murdoc asked him again, he would do the same? It was a vicious circle to get closer the Satanist... the only moments he was allowed, when he was drunk and bloody emotional and vulnerable.

Did Murdoc still drink? Of course... but would those moments happen again? Stuart wanted? Missed? His "new" self told him no, he didn't miss Murdoc. He was glad to be away right?

When he reached the rusty door something told him no. He missed Murdoc... even his bad behavior everyone tempted to hate. Maybe he should give him a chance now... be civil and try to talk. He knocked the door waiting for an answer.

Murdoc's thoughts were interrupted by the unexpected knock. He sat up, unsure now if he had actually heard the knock or if it'd been his imagination. He hoped it was real, he welcomed the interruption from his thoughts and the quiet.

He got up and made his way over to the door, he opened it slowly. He was surprised to see 2D, holding a can of beer. He wasn't sure what the kid was doing, considering he had just told Murdoc, quite firmly, he wouldn't get him a beer. He considered 2D was possibly here to gloat at the triumph of standing up to him before.

Murdoc growled, not in the mood if he was, "What do you want, Stu?"

Stu? He thought it was weird for him not to call him Faceache, Dents or Dullard.. Even Stuart forgot his birth name sometimes after calling by depreciative nicknames almost whole life.

"I came to see you." he told him honestly offering the beer. He didn't know he had already drink, the Winnie never smelled the best so he thought the smell of booze was coming from it, not from Murdoc.

"Maybe talk..." He offered him a smile. Trying to sound like he missed Murdoc... maybe the Satanist would feel better after Noodle and Russ frowning to him. That old self that admired and worshipped Murdoc was still there... somewhere.

Murdoc squinted at 2D cautiously. He wasn't sure if he believed the boy or not, but he wasn't going to ever turn down a beer. He took it and stood to the side to let him in.

He wasn't embarrassed about his place not looking, or smelling, the best at the moment. It was still his place. He also knew 2D had been in there before a few times, usually when Murdoc was incredibly wrecked. He couldn't quite remember those moments, drunk as a skunk, but he knew he actually enjoyed having the dullard around during those times.

He went and sat on one of the bench seats by the little table, leaning on it while he cracked open the beer and drank. He watched in amusement as 2D looked around his Winnie. "So, you said we should talk. What would you like to talk about?" He gave 2D a charming smile.

As Russel and Noodle let them be to talk 2D thought it was a good idea to talk really... not mock his bad time in prison like an ass... in low key Stuart was happy to see his mate again. He looked around curiously... for some reason was everything untouched... when he got closer he noticed he was drinking... how did that booze survived so much time?

"Oh.. Guess about what happened in this year... I mean... we've been through some stuff right...?" He smiled to him. What he really wanted to say was that he missed him... but wouldn't give up that easily. "This place brings me memories" he wiped the dust on the table with his long pianist fingers... mumbling to himself.

Murdoc watched the guy gently touching the table and looking around. He heard 2D's comment about the memories but he just shrugged and grunted in agreement. He tapped the can in his hands, unsure of how to start.

He knew it was probably a good thing they talk, but it wasn't something he was entirely comfortable with. He was used to talking during interviews and to fans, people who he didn't have to live with and see daily. He could say whatever he wanted to them and they'd eat it up. This was more personal, hence, why they didn't talk much unless he was drunk.

He sighed and finished his beer, crushing the can and tossing it to the ground. Thankfully he was on his way to drunk, a slight buzz beginning to take away any nervousness he felt.

"Thanks for the beer..." he mumbled. He pointed to the seat across from him, "Take a seat D, might as well get comfortable, yeah?"


	2. Winnebago

Stuart went out of his trance when he heard Murdoc's thick voice... "You're welcome mate. " Oh, he was really kind, not to ask for the beer but thanking for it. He sat down where Murdoc pointed... feeling a bit awkward but happy Murdoc didn't kick him when he asked to talk. And after the beers he got the courage he needed to actually face him. Murdoc still intimidated him just by his presence. He warmly smiled to the Satanist... encouraging him to talk.

Murdoc lifted an eyebrow in curiosity as 2D smiled at him. He tapped his hand on the table, unsure of where to start. A part of him was happy to see that ridiculous smile again, the gap in his teeth showing. Another part thought it'd be so much easier to be an asshole and throw the kid out. He decided against it. He sighed.

"So, as you know. I went to Mexico, had all the tequila and girls I could handle and then some more." He smiled fondly remembering back to that time. "Then I ran out of money and tried using some cheques that obviously bounced. Got thrown into jail. That, uh, was not as fun." He swallowed, staring at his hands on the table.

He shook himself out of his thoughts and quickly looked up to 2D. "I heard you went back to England. Worked at your dad's fair or something?" He was curious about where the kid got the assertiveness he was showing earlier.

Stuart shook his head slightly. Murdoc stood unbelievable sometimes. "Glad you had a great time in Mexico mate... well not for that long... have you been to jail for long? You mentioned something about a raven..." he asked curiously, sounding interested in Murdoc's life. he felt bad about the burrito thing but didn’t apologized, he thought Murdoc just had a good time in Mexico, with birds and all.

"Oh yeah I went back to Eastbourne and worked at my father's fun fair...I needed money.." he wondered if Murdoc was still broken. "Er.. also began a friendship with Shane Lynch"  he smiled explaining him "And been with some birds... Due to my y'know? Pop status..." he chuckled, alcohol helping him a bit to talk to his older mate. It was the time where his ego got a significant boost. "It was fun really, but much less than playing in a band and all..." he told him honestly. "When Noodle called us back I was surprised really..."

He growled, "Yeah I was in that bloody place for a year and a half. I am, of course, a very charming and popular guy, but I happened to attract the attention of some, uh, unsavory people in the clink. Thankfully, I got some help from two blokes, Pedro and Carlos. They helped me bust out too." He chuckled, remembering how easy it had actually been. They were staying in a place nearby, expecting a chance to be on the new album. Murdoc had promised to do that if they helped him get back home.

"I met Cortez while in there. He kept coming to the window, dropping off berries, and no one else would pay him any attention. I took some of the berries one day and gave him some of my food in return. Those berries made me deathly ill, but I made a friend. I brought him back with me too. He's flying around outside somewhere." He genuinely smiled at 2D for a moment, then cleared his throat and continued.

"So Shane Lynch huh?" He frowned. A small part of him didn't like the idea of 2D having fun and making friends without him. "And had some fun with birds..." he clicked his tongue. He was beginning to get the picture of why 2D came back more confident.

"Well I'm glad you had a good time." He grumbled. He needed to stop pouting. He couldn't let 2D see that, so he took a deep breath and continued, "Yeah, I got a call Noodle and was pretty excited to come back. I knew you guys couldn't last without me." He smiled devilishly.

Stuart chuckled, even in jail Murdoc managed to make new friends... maybe it wasn’t that bad... "And your degree? What was it..?" he hoped he could see Cortez anytime, he sounded very ... loyal to say at least. Stuart was a loyal pet too when he wanted.

Stuart frowned a bit and laughed at his last statement. It was clear he was jealous or sorta, not totally happy for him having fun with birds while he was in jail. Well his loss choosing to run outta money and getting into trouble trying to cheat on people. He smiled as cockier as before. Murdoc was envious.

"Well you said you ran outta money... so _you couldn’t last without us_ , or money.. Money that the band makes.." he stated with the same grim. This time Murdoc needed them more than vice versa. He had nowhere to go, right? He saw everyone doing well without him and felt bad Stuart could tell. His confident self-appearing.

Murdoc felt his stomach churn; he could feel himself getting angrier. He held his tongue by grinding his teeth. 2D hit the nail on the head and was being a dick about it. He couldn't let the kid see how his comments bugged him.

"Yeah... well... I got a degree in Pharmaceutical Studies." He felt his eye twitch, trying to control his anger. He clenched his fist in an attempt. It wasn't working well.

"And yes... I needed money the band makes... I _don't need_ you guys though. I don't need anyone." He snarled at 2D. He could feel his breathing starting to pick up. "I saved all of you from a shit filled life of boredom and obscurity." He grumbled, and slammed his fist down onto the table. He was trying hard not to hit the kid. 2D took what had made Murdoc insecure and twisted it right into heart.

Stuart frowned and narrowed his eyes. Did he had all that power to make him that angry with so little? Nice. He smirked devilishly when he hit the table. "You could have saved me Mu’doc... But I managed to make money by myself while you were in jail broke" he said as it Murdoc couldn’t find a job for himself alone besides the band and Stuart managed to.

"And I came back ‘cuz Noodle asked me too. You'd need to have kidnapped me or sorta to make me come back to the band. Or to you" his own teeth clenched and his eyes narrowed. He wasn’t afraid of Murdoc anymore, he was arrested he was worse than him and he came back ‘cuz he had nowhere else to go, that’s what he thought.

He stood up "if you don’t need me, or us or anyone why did you decide to come back Mu’doc...?" his voice was full of anger and he took a step closer Murdoc to show him he wasn’t scared. "I was living well in my 'life filled with boredom and obscurity' " he mocked his voice. Murdoc was living in it, Stuart was doing good into that hiatus.

 _"I'm doing this for Noodle, not you."_ he got really closer him, if Murdoc wanted to break his nose, okay, Stuart would leave. In addition, where would Murdoc go to?

Murdoc was shocked. He had no idea what to say. He had never seen Stuart so aggressive before. He backed up slightly when Stuart got closer.

"Fuck, 2D. Well if you didn't want to come back to me then why the fuck are you in here? Why are you even bothering to come talk to me?" He snarled at 2D. He wanted 2D to just admit he needed him or missed or something, but Murdoc knew he wasn't going to get that if he couldn't admit it first. There was no way he was going to do that.

"And you're wrong. If I hadn't of run into you with my car that day, none of us would be here. You'd still be slinging pianos at that piano shop!" He slowly sat up and started moving into 2D's space now.

"Listen here you little shit, I came back because this is my band Stu! You're mine! It's all mine! This.… _this is all I have_ …" his voice turned to a whisper, he was breathing hard from the adrenaline and anger, glaring at 2D. He dropped back into his seat. The severity of what he had just admitted aloud hit him like a freight train.

He dropped his head to look down, away from 2D. "Get away from me, 2D. Just get out." He growled.

Stuart thought for a moment. He bit his lip and took a step back. Murdoc sounded beyond angry, sad and maybe hurt. "I just wanted to talk... not to see you bragging about yourself or punching things..." He mumbled. Now he messed everything up being that mean with Murdoc... this time he didn't know _if_ he deserved. The look on his face was just heart breaking.

Stuart sighed to his statements... Maybe he would be fine at that piano shop... With his beautiful blue eyes and "normal" brain. It made him a bit upset... Due to Murdoc he looked like a freak now. He gently rubbed his eyes...those 2 dents that gave him his nickname.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled really regretting what he said and obeying the older man. Was his fault he wasn't welcome anymore. Slowly he leaned closer and grabbed his wrist pulling his hand closer and opening it. Inside it, he put a little token he had from his dad's funfair.

 "Yeah your band... I’m your singer.... _I missed you_." He mumbled looking into his eyes and turning around to leave. He loved hearing he was his... but his heart ached knowing it didn't have the meaning he wanted. He needed to leave before the tears came. He was stupid. A cocky stupid moron. In addition, his boldness wouldn't take him anywhere.

Murdoc felt even worse, he clenched his jaw and swallowed, his throat feeling dry suddenly. He was still angry from what 2D had said earlier, but the boy did apologize and he did say he missed Murdoc. He hated how much he liked hearing that, especially from the kid.

It was hard being around 2D. He was a constant reminder that Murdoc couldn't be the front man of his own band. He got Murdoc's spotlight, he got Murdoc's credit, he looked fucking gorgeous and got all the girls while Murdoc was over here paying for girls in Mexico then attracting fuckers in prison. Murdoc resented him for that.

2D's voice was so goddamn beautiful though, he couldn't imagine letting that voice go to waste in a fucking piano shop. Same with his musical skills. He was a genius on the keyboard, something Murdoc couldn't ignore.

 _Shit._ He thought. He dug one of his palms into his eye, working to keep his anger down. He needed to be better, he knew that. Especially if he didn't want to be alone again, which he didn't.

"Wait, 2D…" he mumbled, hoping he'd listen. "I'm…." He bit his lip hard, causing it to bleed slightly. "Sorry too." He finished in a whisper, looking away from him. He held hard onto the token 2D had given him. He hated apologizing, it made him sound weak.

He also held up the token 2D had given to him. "And what the fuck is this?"

Stuart flinched when he heard that “Wait”. The boy was almost running to get outta there . Not ‘cuz he was afraid of being beaten, but ‘cuz Murdoc sounded like he regretted telling him to leave. Guilt immediately hit him after saying much more than necessary. He hated hurting Murdoc even if he deserved... it didn't matter how many times the Satanist hurt him. He didn't care. He swallowed hard at his apology. It sounded genuine and hard to make.

                Stuart slowly turned to the Satanist... "I... I brought this ‘cuz..."He rubbed the back of his neck.. He just felt like giving him it " well..  when I was working there... it was fun of course but.. I felt lonely sometimes.. and it doesn’t make sense feeling lonely in such a crowded place huh? Especially when you're famous" He took a step into his direction

"Thought with us all back here I wouldn't feel lonely anymore..." his time with birds and making new friends couldn't make him forget about being with the band and his true friends... Gorillaz was his family and he missed that. Especially Murdoc, the closest one. His best mate. Maybe the time working there wasn't the best after all. He didn't have so much fun... just slightly changed his behavior nothing more.

"Just something for you to remember me... I thought... I thought we would.. You wouldn't come... now that you did I thought you wouldn't want me around" he bit his lip... Stuart was feeling so much at the same time he couldn't put his feelings in words. All he wanted was a hug but he knew how Murdoc was about physical contact. He said all honestly. The bassist would find him even more stupid after giving him it.

Murdoc rolled the token through his fingers, taking in what the kid had just said. It was a sweet gesture, something very like 2D to do. It warmed his usually cold heart, but he couldn't tell him that. He rested the token into his palm again and laughed slightly, looking back up at the kid.

"Bloody hell 2D. I could never forget you. You're my blue haired, black eyed God with the a voice to match." . ‘ _and the attitude of a God now too’_ he quickly thought to himself.

"Plus, you know. I, kinda... sorta… missed you too, Stu." That was harder for Murdoc to say, he couldn't even look at 2D when he said it. He had never said that to anyone, but he knew the boy needed to hear it. And he had missed 2D that entire time they'd been apart, if not always for the right reasons. Same went with the rest of the band.

He looked back up at 2D and gave him a charming smile with a small chuckle, "I knew you'd miss me, Dents." He gave him a wink. He tapped the area where 2D had been sitting before.

"Let's start over, sit back down. I'll promise to behave if you do, yeah?"

Stuart blushed "I'm not even close to a god Muds... I'm just a skinny lad you decided that would be good to join your band..." He never thought about himself as He was really important to anything. That boost of confidence was all bollocks in the end. To Murdoc above all people. He was useful just to sing. He thought the Satanist always found him annoying and boring.

Stuart blushed even more when he told him he missed him. God it sounded like heaven... all he wanted to hear. And Murdoc didn't sound like he was mocking..  He really missed him. This made that stupid smile come back to his face, his gap showing.... even if Murdoc wasn't looking at him. He thought he would never waste his true smiles when it comes to Murdoc.

When Murdoc looked at him back with that goddamn charming smile and his chuckle the singer felt his knees almost giving in with that wink his heart raced. He was bloody handsome. And how he missed his smile. Murdoc didn't want him out! How good was that? His old "adoring Murdoc" self coming back slowly... He sat down again "I'll behave Muds I promise..." he kept smiling to him... his face as red as a tomato.

Murdoc with so little could make him feel things and loose his cocky attitude. Yeah he had that power but only when he was being nice to him... they could talk normally.

Murdoc watched the kid sit down again, happy he was willing to stay. He even got to see that ridiculous smile again. If anything, he probably missed that the most. Suddenly, he had an idea.

"Oh! 2D, wait here, let me show you something." He slid out of his seat and ran to the door. He slipped the token into his jean pocket so he wouldn't lose it. Then he grabbed a black glove from his bag and put it on. The glove was form fitting but thick, and went up most his forearm. He pointed at 2D before leaving.

"Stay here, I'll be right back."


	3. Cortez

Without hesitation, he ran out of the Winnebago and made his way outside. When he got outside, he put his fingers to his lips and whistled as loudly as possible. The whistle echoed over the landscape and then it was silent.

All of a sudden he heard a response, a screeching caw fill the air. He held his gloved arm up for the bird to land on, which it did without issue. The glove kept the bird from clawing him with his sharp talons, although he could still feel the pressure from his grip. It cawed loudly in his face, making him flinch a bit.

“For fuck's sake Cortez, don't be a twat. No need to be so loud." He laughed and brought his other hand up to gives it's head a little scratch, which the bird seemed to enjoy.

"Come on, I have someone I want you to meet. Make sure you behave." He told the bird as he walked with him back to his Winnebago, the bird cawing the entire way, as if he was telling Murdoc a story. Murdoc even responded a few times, to let the bird know he was listening.

Murdoc made his way back into his Winnebago, stopping near 2D. He had the biggest grin on his face as he looked at him, pointing to the bird.

"2D, this is Cortez. My little Mexican jailbird. Cortez, this is 2D." He chuckled as the raven cawed a response. He looked back at 2D for his response.

"What do you think?" He asked, the smile still plastered on his face.

Stuart nodded to his order... what would he possibly went outside to do? His damaged brain couldn’t process. He waited patiently, heard the whistle, and looked outside through the window to see what he was doing with a raised brow confused.

He heard the caw and suddenly remembered, Cortez, Murdoc's pet. So he wasn’t joking the bird really existed. He smiled seeing the black creature landing on his arm. Murdoc and him seemed to have a connection or sorta. Even being mean to people Murdoc had never been bad with any animal Stuart could tell.

When he began talking to the bird Stuart thought he was talking to him... soon he realized who had to behave was Cortez and softly giggled going back to his seat.

God he was talking to a bird, and Cortez actually answering him... what a .. Bond? Murdoc must had been really lonely while in prison to talk to a bird.

When he saw him grinning Stuart could help but smile back, Murdoc seemed genuinely happy. He looked at him then the bird. 

"Oh God Muds.. He’s beautiful... look at those black feathers... did he fly all the way here?" he was dense but wanted to know how the bird managed to follow his owner and friend. He looked at him with his pitch black eyes and acted like it was a dog, letting the bird smell him to show him he was harmless before petting or anything. His eyes shone with curiosity. "He’s cute... and you both seem to understand each other pretty well..." he hoped Cortez liked him too.

"Oi Cortez..." he told him softly "I'm 2D Muds' singer, nice to meet you..." he acted just like he was a child.

Murdoc chuckled at 2D's question. He was happy 2D liked the bird and Cortez seemed to like 2D. He would have been a little heartbroken if they hadn't gotten along. As funny as it would be to watch 2D flail around in a frenzy as a Cortez attacked him, like the bird did to so many he didn't like, he couldn't have his singer losing one of his beautiful eyes.

"No. Actually, believe it or not, I wasn't going to bring him back, cause he's wild and everything. But the bloody bastard followed our car for a few miles, screeching the entire time. I finally made the boys pull over so I could have him sit with me on the way home." The bird cawed, as if he was adding to the story. The bird hopped onto Murdoc's shoulder after 2D pet it, to which Murdoc inhaled sharply and winced. The bird’s talons were digging into his shoulder.

"He has some sharp talons and I didn't have the glove at the time and I still need to get something for my shoulder. The idiot likes to sit on it often. He gave me quite a few gashes from those sharp claws on the way home, but it was worth it." He nuzzled his face into the birds fluffy chest for a moment, the turned back to 2D.

"Besides, I don't mind a little pain." He gave 2D a wink, and then continued.

"I think he likes you, which is fantastic. He doesn't seem to like many people, you can usually tell when he doesn't. He'll go after their eyes." He smiled viciously. "I think it's partly because of your black eyes. They look just like his, gorgeous and badass at the same time." He said this without thinking.

Stuart listened to his explanation "Really? Wow he liked you pretty much Muds..."

Stuart gasped when he saw those claws digging Murdoc's skin. It should be really painful. He bit his lip wondering if it hurt as bad as it looked.  "Maybe there's something here in long we can use for your shoulder..." He knew he minded "You should take care of it Muds. It can get infected or something..." He tried to be positive and smiled seeing him nuzzling his face. Stuart wouldn't mind taking care of his shoulder.  Murdoc looked so... different around that bird. Stuart  wish he was soft like that with him too.

Stuart swallowed hard "Eyes?" His own widened when Murdoc complimented him and he quickly stopped looking at the Satanist’s blushing furiously. He had damaged eyes and didn't need to remember that was Murdoc's fault. He looked at the ravens black as the night sky

"Who knows? I'm glad he liked me mate." Badass? Where? Maybe gorgeous... He thought he would be bitten or sorta. Now he had a new friend and pet his head a bit, hoping he would like his touch, soft as Murdoc's.

He thought for a second pointing to his glove "May I try Muds...?" He desperately wanted to take him off his shoulder... it would bleed anytime now.

Murdoc smiled warmly at 2D's comment about the raven liking him. "Yeah, I've always had a connection to ravens. Apparently there was one sitting on my little carrier my bastard father found me in."

He sort of turned and looked at the bird’s claws digging into his shoulder. He knew they'd start bleeding soon, but he didn't mind. He waved his hand haphazardly at 2D, as if to wave away his concerns. He secretly appreciated that 2D worried about him though.

"It's okay. His claws have cut me a few times and they eventually healed. What's a few more wounds, yeah? And I'm sure I can create or buy some type of shoulder perch for this little bugger."

He chuckled as he noticed 2D swallow when he asked about eyes. "Yeah, one time in jail this bloke was, um, getting a little too… friendly. I was about ready to hit the guy myself when Cortez here flew in and plucked out his eye and gave it to me. Gruesome but effective. With his and the other two Mexican fellas help I told you about earlier, I was finally left alone in that blasted prison."

He shifted a bit, the bird heavy on his shoulder. He could feel the bird dig in and flutter his wings slightly for support. Murdoc knew those claws pierced his flesh then, he could feel his shirt getting a little wet as it soaked up the blood trickling out.

He hesitated when 2D asked to try to hold him. He didn't want Cortez to attempt to pluck out 2D's eyes or claw him, but the bird didn't seem to mind the boy so he agreed to it. He slipped off the glove and handed it to 2D, wincing as the bird dug in again to hold on during the slight shift. It cawed in his ear, as if upset by the movement.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. No need to yell, asshole." He said to the bird. "2D's gonna hold ya now, so be nice. You can't ruin that pretty face of his." He moved his shoulder closer to 2D after the boy slipped the glove on, ready to take the bird.

Stuart nodded... well he had pacifiers when a child... fell of a tree... Murdoc had a raven, fair enough. He hoped he just put it quick. Soon he wouldn't have shoulder for him to destroy.

"Oh glad he protected you... his way" he giggled thinking how gross would be giving him an eye for a present. Well an eye, a token... Murdoc seemed happy with almost everything his dear ones gave him. He giggled again when he cawed, that way Murdoc would be deaf soon.

Stuart placed the glove in his hand firmly. He knew the bird shouldn’t weight a lot but he was skinny and awkward and didn't want to get hurt not to piss Murdoc off. He nodded when Murdoc told him to hold the bird 'all right 2D you can do it...' He thought frowning to focus.

He blushed to another compliment.  Fuck Murdoc almost unfocused him for a moment. Stuart hesitantly lifted his arm waiting for the bird go on it. "C'mon Cortez... Don't pluck my eye... I'm a friend.. " he told as the bird could understand him.

Murdoc felt relieved as the bird eventually, with a little prompting, hopped onto 2D's gloved arm. He didn't seem like he wanted to attack 2D, so that was a good sign. He didn't want to be the reason for damaging his singer's eyes more if the bird attacked him. He snickered when Cortez cawed a few times at 2D, fluffing up his feathers and looking around.

2D looked nervous, but he looked good with the bird on his arm. Murdoc felt a little sour about it. The kid always looked better than Murdoc at everything they did. He shook his head, pushing those thoughts aside before they festered into darker thoughts.

2D appeared to be doing okay holding Cortez so he decided this was a good opportunity to wipe the blood away on his shoulder. He pulled his shirt off, assessing his bloody shoulder. He used his shirt to wipe the blood trickling down, then he walked over and threw it on the ground next to his bed. One more dirty shirt wouldn't hurt the cluttered mess. He then walked back, not bothering to put another shirt on yet. That'd require him to dig around and he didn't feel like bothering with that now. He needed to keep an eye on 2D and Cortez.

"I remember nights when I'd be laying there in my cell. It got pretty boring, quiet, and lonely. That little guy there would fly in and sit by my bed. I'd chat with him and he'd talk back. No bloody clue what the little devil is saying but it was still better than nothing." He smiled remembering those times. He had definitely missed his band mates then.

Stuart chuckled when he cawed, it was a good signal right? He smiled to the bird back when he moved. He wasn’t as heavy as he thought, easy to carry in the end.

Hesitantly he began petting his head when he felt Cortez was comfortable enough with him. He was distracted seeing the bird when Murdoc took off his shirt. He must have had a bad time in prison; there were some new scars there that weren’t there before. However, he couldn’t help but notice new muscles too... he bit his lip hoping the bird didn’t see him staring.

His eyes followed him when he wiped the blood and threw the shirt on the floor. He would ask if he was all right but his concern seemed to anger Murdoc so he paid attention to his new friend.

Stuart felt his heart breaking hearing his words... he looked at the bird "So you took care of Muds have ya?" He smiled at him petting his head, the bird cawed back to him.

"It.. it must've been pretty lonely huh..." he looked at Murdoc "If.. if you want I can talk to you when you feel alone at night y'know? At least what I say you understand..." he decided to offer him with a light chuckle after all the compliments the bassist made him. He felt flattered and the urge to be closer to an old friend. He went back to look at the raven that seemed to be trying to understand what they were talking.

Murdoc's eyes widened at 2D's sudden offer. His heart started racing and his cheeks reddened just a hint from a blush. He hadn't been expecting that kind of response. He wasn't sure if 2D meant what Murdoc thought he meant, or if he was just being unintently facetious.

He subtly looked 2D up and down, noticing that the kid was actually quite alluring. He wasn't entirely unopposed to the idea of touching him… He suddenly wondered if all his hair was blue, not just the hair on his head. He bit his lip and swallowed at the idea of finding out. He blinked a few times to bring him back from his thoughts.

"Uh… y-yeah. Sure." He suddenly lost his confidence, "If you wanted…" He kept his eye on Cortez, he couldn't look 2D in the eye at the moment. Now he couldn't stop thinking of 2D naked, squirming in embarrassment.

‘ _Shit, what am I thinking?! Stop Murdoc, he didn't mean it that way.’_ He thought. He wasn't even paying attention to the singer or the bird at this point, as his thoughts raced through his head.

Stuart smiled when he said it was okay for him. He wasn’t expecting that Murdoc would actually accept his offer... stud didn’t want to be alone either... it was gonna be good for both man. His innocent and naive mind didn’t notice how his sentence had dubious meanings and how Murdoc looked at him. He wasn’t thinking of sex, yet, just worried about his lonely mate.

Stuart noticed he was a bit spaced out... what was he thinking..? "Muds are you okay?" he hesitantly asked placing his ungloved hand on his not hurt shoulder to catch his attention.

"Y-you don’t have to do it just ‘cuz I want..." he bit his lip, seeing Murdoc half-naked that close bleeding was making his thoughts unfocused. "I missed talking to you..." he confessed almost whispering looking to his eyes, trying to sound that he really didn’t mean shagging. He wasn’t even paying attention to Cortez anymore.

Murdoc jumped when 2D touched his shoulder, looking at him. He realized what 2D had said and quickly shook his head.

"No, no. It's fine. Yup, talking. Talking's great." He rambled. He felt silly and embarrassed for thinking 2D meant anything else. 2D wouldn't want to do that with him. Murdoc figured he just needed a woman, it'd been a while after all.

He smiled and tried to sound nonchalant, "Well, let’s wrap this up, yeah? I think I need to go get myself laid. 18 months in prison was a little lonely for little Murdoc, if you know what I mean." He clapped his hands together, as if to signify the end of the conversation. This apparently startled Cortez, something Murdoc hadn't considered, causing the bird to squawk suddenly and fly over to Murdoc's bare shoulder.

Murdoc growled and swore as the bird dug into his already hurt shoulder, but remained still. He was in pain but there was no way he was going to hurt the bird for something Murdoc caused. This distracted his mind enough to stop thinking of 2D in a lewd manner, being able to look at the boy in a pleading manner.

"A little help, Dents?" He said through gritted teeth. He didn't have the glove, so 2D would have to take Cortez again.

Stuart listened his rambling about getting laid... eighteen months wow... the singer didn’t know if he would be able to last that long. "Oh Muds... has been a long while huh?" for some reason he felt jealous when he said a woman... if Murdoc found a bird he wouldn’t be lonely in the night... he would have a company and Stuart wanted to be his company... so bad.

When the bird did that, he yelled "Mu’doc..." and tried to reach him to prevent the bird from doing that but it was too late. He lifted his arm when he asked for help. Quickly the raven went back to the glove cawing. "Don’t clap Muds.. it scares him.." he told him frowning.

After 2D had grabbed Cortez, Murdoc hissed but kept it low so as not to startle the bird again, "No shit!" He held his hand up to the multiple new claw marks the bird had left, pulling it away and seeing blood. He growled and just wiped the blood from his hand onto his chest. He was still not bothered enough to get a shirt.

"Go open the door and let that the bloody bastard out." He said in a defeated manner as he sat down. "And yes," he continued as 2D let the bird out, "It had been a while. I didn't completely abstain from everything, but there were no conjugal visits for dear old Muds." He could feel more blood trickling down his chest. He put his elbow on the table and his head resting in his hand. He realized just how tired he actually was.

When he'd gotten the call from Noodle, he had escaped prison with his two Mexican friends and bird, and they'd driven straight here. They'd taken turns driving, stopping only for gas, food, and the bathroom. He'd actually just arrived in town this morning.

Three guys and a bird in the car for days straight left him tired and feeling gross. He hadn't had a proper warm shower in over a year either, even that was extreme for Murdoc. He watched 2D as he tried to make up his mind on what to do.


	4. Alcohol

Stuart nodded to get rid of the bird. He did that almost running, scared of Murdoc’s tone of voice. The raven flew cawing as it was complaining to them.

Stuart once without the bird took off the glove and looked at miserable Murdoc sitting at the table with his head against his hand. God, he looked exhausted and hurt. Quickly the singer knew what to do.

He went to the mini fridge and grabbed another bottle of whatever booze it was there. After that, he went to the place where once he hid the first aid box, long time ago. Murdoc had once drunk, hurt himself and Stuart had to take care of him, after that he kept the box there for emergencies like that.

"Mate.. I'll take care of that okay..?" he decided to warn as he sat close Murdoc. Soon he opened the box and handed him the alcohol. "Drink... it… numbs the pain.." he shrugged and quickly began cleaning his wounds. They were pretty bad so he would need to be careful. Stuart didn’t want him in pain or unable to play the bass due to an accident.

Stuart just began moving in autopilot. He hated blood and hated seeing Murdoc hurt. He silently began working. "Guess no one of the birds you shag would take care of you like this huh..?" he said chuckling but his voice sounded a bit hurt.

Stuart didn’t mind if he looked gross without a bath or sorta, Murdoc never smelled the best, and due to dirtiness it could get an infection quickly. He bit his lip thinking of that.

Murdoc watched as 2D had grabbed a bottle of whiskey, his interest peaked. He watched as the kid grabbed a first aid kit he had no idea was even there. He shrugged it off, it probably wasn't the worst thing hiding in his Winnie he didn't know about.

He grunted an okay for 2D to clean him up, grabbing the whiskey he left in front of him and chugging a few large gulps. He'd lost his buzz from earlier so he was happy to start again. He didn't think the blood was a big deal, but he wasn't going to say no to the kid taking care of him. He was greedy with attention.

He sensed a different tone in 2D's voice when he told Murdoc none of the birds would clean him up. Considered what he said, realizing the kid was right. He wasn't quite sure why 2D had hurt tone though.

"Yeah… guess you're right." He could feel a buzz coming on quick. "I guess you are the only one who'd take the time to do that anyways." He took another swig and laughed bitterly.

"Fuck it. I'll go out tomorrow." He concluded with another quick swig. He figured they'd finish talking to Noodle and Russ tomorrow, which they had probably planned for. They knew how 2D and Murdoc were. They'd either be drunk or too bruised up to discuss more tonight. It looks like tonight he was on a quick train to drunk and he wasn't going to stop now.

"So, Dents. W-what are you doing tonight? Gonna go hang out w-with your new buddy Shane? See some of those birds you mentioned earlier? I-I promise I won't t-take her from ya, or is that too soon for that joke? Sorry Stu." He said nervously when Stuart touched him, taking another swig. He was starting to slur a bit. Stu was definitely right about it numbing him. He could always count on alcohol to do that.

"Guess that's what best mates do for others..." Stuart shrugged "You'd do the same for me.... actually you took care of me for a whole bloody year..." he mentioned his coma. He owned Murdoc his life, right?

He was working while he drunk, it wasn’t bad but there was much blood, he began wiping it with his own shirt after a while, awkwardly but oh well he was Stuart ‘blood stained’ Pot. He frowned a bit to the way he spoke and what he said, was Murdoc already drunk? Why was he stuttering...

"Nothing Muds... I just came back home and I'm glad to be with you guys ... I'm not going anywhere..." he told him with a soft smile. "And no, she's a good friend but when I told her I was gonna meet my old mates she was thrilled and totally told me to go and stay with you... I'm not dating anyone Muds... don’t need to be sorry.." he blushed and a smile appeared in his face. Stuart was almost done with the bandages.

 "I really think you should rest y’know? Take a shower... Guess you miss a warm one right? I'm sorry mate but you look like shit... " he didn’t know what Murdoc's been through but he could guess it was a long travel and a shitty time.

"I-I know you’re probably don’t want to be lonely and are interested in going to bars... and find a bird to.. y’know... And I won’t prevent you from doing that..." again he sounded hurt. "But I rather stay in Kong..." he finished caressing his shoulder. "I haven’t seen you in a while Muds so... I guess I'd rather be with you of all people..." he smiled to his drunk mate.

Murdoc grimaced when 2D mentioned how Murdoc had taken care of him. He hadn't exactly been the nicest to the kid during his coma, not near as nice as he was being now. Murdoc hadn't known at the time his coma kid would be his singer, wasn't an excuse but he may have tried a little harder to nicer. He mentioned it before, but he didn't think 2D understood just how mean Murdoc had been. He wouldn't be trying to explain it to the kid anytime soon. He took another swig, just a bit smaller this time.

Murdoc listened to 2D talk while he finished cleaning him up. The kid was really too sweet for his own good sometimes, especially to Murdoc. He smiled devilishly when 2D mentioned he wanted to hang out with him tonight. This statement put him in an excited and happy mood.

"You're damn right! I-I'm a delight to be with, glad you remembered that. I'm Murdoc-fucking-Niccals and I'm going to show you a fun time tonight." He said determined. He held his whiskey bottle out to the kid, his arm a little wobbly. They were going to have fun tonight and that required a drunk 2D as well.

"Drink 2D. I want you drunk right along side me. We're gonna have fun without any birds tonight. Start over to a new friendship, yeah?" He stood up after 2D grabbed the bottle, not even waiting for a response. He was unstable and was admiring 2D's handwork on his shoulder as best he could in the mirror. 

"Looks good Dents! Y-you're pretty good at this... What would I do without you, huh? I'm gonna take a quick s-shower. Drink while I'm gone. I-I expect you to be at least buzzed by the time I come out." In his excited and clumsy state he started taking his boots and socks off. He kept falling into the wall closest to him for support. Working on his pants next, forgetting in his drunk state he wasn't quite in the bathroom yet.

Stuart's eyes widened... "Whot?" he felt the bottle against almost his face. After he mentioned "without birds" with that excitement the singer couldn’t help but smirk, all he could have asked for. He knew Murdoc wanted to get laid, but that night no, maybe the next... tonight he was the singer's.

He held the bottle firmly, had been a while since he last drink. Working at the funfair he couldn’t be drunk. "M-my mom was a nurse Muds.. I learned with her..." he explained softly, finding amazing how he was excited to be with him. He blushed again.

He just nodded to his request and began drinking as he ordered. It first burned but after it became normal as Stuart became drunk. He laughed seeing how Murdoc was already without balance.

Murdoc started laughing as well. Even he knew this was a ridiculous scene, but he didn't care. He was beyond caring at this point. He managed to slip his jeans off, grabbing the token 2D had given him from his pocket, then throwing the pants away somewhere away from him. He was standing there now in one of his thongs. He had regretted having only those in Mexico, but he still loved them.

He walked/stumbled to his bedroom, setting the token by his bed. He then walked back to the bathroom, telling 2D to drink once more before closing the door. He finally finished undressing and hopping into his shower. He fumbled with the bathroom handle, trying to remember how this worked.

When he finally got the thing working, the water that came out for a few minutes was brown, so he waited. When it came out clear and warm he hopped in, shivering at the blissful feeling of a warm shower. He tried to keep his shoulder away from the water so as not to destroy what 2D had been so nice to do for him. He felt as if all the grime of a year and a half washed off it. It was the best feeling in the world.

When he finished he grabbed a towel nearby. He sniffed it to see if it was at least decent enough to wrap around himself. It actually smelled okay, so he dried his hair slightly and wrapped the towel around his waist. He was nice and drunk now, he felt amazing. He walked out and looked for 2D. "How's it coming Dents?!"

Soon Stuart began laughing too as his vision became blurry... he swore that from the distance he could hear Cortez cawing... or was it his head? The moron hadn’t had anything for eating in a while... so he got drunk and there was half of the bottle almost.

Stuart blurry vision focused in the green-skinned man in front of him "I'm fine Muds... already feeling buzz like you wanted..." and he began laughing for nothing "God you smell bloody better now huh...? C'mere I left half of the bottle just for youuuu…" he sang in a terrible drunk voice, almost sounding teasing. He hiccupped "Hurry up you old Goth.." he joked with his old nickname, feeling home now.

Murdoc chuckled at the drunk Stuart in front of him. He held up an unsteady finger, a goofy smile on his face the entire time.

"Hold on, you little shit. L-let me get some clothes on, yeah?" He walked into his room and searched for a pair of underwear and pants. He kept his shirt off, enjoying being able to finally go shirtless without fear of some prison mate trying to get too close. He grabbed the token from his bed side table and put it in his pocket again.

He strolled out, only needing a little support and found his backpack he'd left on the floor. He found his inverted cross necklace and put it on. He finally felt complete.

He made his way to 2D and stood in front of him, leaning down to get a closer look at 2D. He was indeed drunk, he could already smell it on his breath. He brought his hand up and pet 2D's blue head of hair. "Good boy." He flopped down next to him, grabbing the bottle and taking another swig.

Stuart frowned to the compliment and goofy smiled. "I like more when you caress than when you pull.." he chuckled drunkenly. He was indeed a good boy.

"I-is your shoulder better mate...?" He point at it while Murdoc drank. His face resting on his palm and elbow on the table. His eyes were glassy from alcohol and he felt happy. He could tell Murdoc was still shirtless and he looked hot with his cross back. Stuart thought he could have lost it but fortunately no. He grabbed it looking and analyzing it "Oh you still have your cross huh...? I like it..."

Murdoc turned to him and gave him a charming smile. He loved drunk Stuart, the kid was the biggest goof and easy to tease.

"M-my shoulder feels wonderful. You're amazing, _love_." He slurred. He was good at dishing out compliments when he was drunk. It was so much easier than when he was sober.

He smiled at 2D analyzing his cross. "I'll always have my cross, it-it's a part of me now. Do you really like it?" He smiled and flopped his hand back on 2D's head, petting his hair rhythmically. His gaze stayed on 2D's hair. He liked how soft it was. "I like the color blue, it's my favorite color. Did you know that?"

Stuart's eyes widened when he heard love. He blushed to that... he could easily remember how Murdoc was when drunk. He wish he was that soft with him all the time. "I'm glad it is... Cortez hurt you pretty bad..." his words slurring.

"I’ve always liked that Muds... it's iconic and it's your mark y'know?..." he looked at it smiling... drunk as a skunk. "You're beautiful when you wear it..."

He closed his eyes once his hair was petted it felt so nice... was that his plan of having fun...? Stuart liked that... it felt really cozy. "Is it?" He chuckled "I didn't know that... Why...?" He was still drunk and dense. "My favorite color is green, Muds..." he smiled goofily again opening his eyes.

Murdoc laughed at 2D calling him beautiful. He didn't think anyone had ever called him that. He always thought he was far from that.

He smiled deviously at 2D closing his eyes to his petting. 2D's response to his favorite color only spurred Murdoc on. He wanted more from him, he liked the attention and he was feeling bolder the drunker he got.

He put his arm around the boy's shoulder, giving it a little squeeze and taking another swig. He didn't know how to answer 2D, he wasn't sure exactly why he was so fond of blue.

"I dunno why I like blue... I think I like blue because it reminds me of the ocean. It's calming." He smiled. "Blue is always a calming color to me... Why do you like green?"

Stuart welcomed that arm around his shoulder. He smiled to Murdoc to show him he was comfortable with his touch. "Ocean huh....? Make sense" he slurred.

He rested his head on his shoulder. "Me hair is blue" drunkly said as 'my hair could calm you or sorta'.

"Green..?" he chuckled "’cuz reminds me of you, you goblin..." he laughed from his joke a bit too much, clearly drunk. "Green is the color of hope y’know?" and hope was something the singer always had towards the Satanist.. Hope that he would change, that he would treat him better, that he would like him.

He closed his eyes when he rested his head. Murdoc smelled so good after the shower. He sighed.

Murdoc chuckled, "Your hair is indeed blue." He brought his hand from 2D's shoulder to rest it in his hair. He then ran his fingers through his hair as he put his head against Murdoc's shoulder.

He laughed at the kid's response of why he liked green. "Easy now, you cheeky little shit." He continued to run his hands through Stu's hair. This was very calming for Murdoc, he loved how soft the boy's hair was. "I also didn't know green was the color of hope. That's good to know." He said, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

He looked down as 2D sighed on his shoulder, the kid's blue hair contrasted nicely against his own skin. He realized 2D was probably very drunk at this point if he was bold enough to rest his head on his shoulder. Murdoc was drunk as well, but the kid was skinny and a lightweight. It hit him faster and harder. He sighed.

"Are you tired, Stu?"

Stuart purred while his hair was caressed... he missed when Murdoc did that for him. Birds did too but it didn’t feel the same... he opened his eyes to his question..  "Not at all Muds... I'm just happy... I guess.. happy you're here..." he smiled terribly fond and lift his head so he could face the Satanist "Why? Are you...?" He was really close his face but didn't bother he could even smell his whiskey breath. He blinked twice mesmerized by his mismatched eyes and licked his lips.

Murdoc eyes widened slightly as he watched 2D lick his lips. His thoughts of a naked Stu from earlier popped up and he blushed slightly. He swallowed, "N-not anymore." He suddenly lost all the confidence he had moments before.

The corner of his mouth twitched a bit as he tried to smile and failed. ‘ _Shit, shit. What am I doing?! This is 2D!_ ’ his panicked thoughts yelled at him. He looked down at the bottle as if that was to blame for what he was doing.

‘ _It's just been too long. I need some type of release, that's all. But he's happy I'm here, maybe he meant it differently?_ ’ he argued with himself. 

"Son of a bitch." He muttered under his breath. He was trying hard for self-control at the moment. He looked back at 2D and saw his smile, he bit his lip. "You're killing me, Dents." He whined.

Stuart chuckled at that... was Murdoc cursing him? He didn't do anything wrong did he? He didn't feel angry noticing Murdoc lost his confidence with his closeness... "Killing..." he mumbled and smiled looking at him.

"Why...? Was your idea getting me drunk Mu’doc... I don’t wanna kill anybody..." he laid his head back on his shoulder chuckling from his own joke, leaning closer him and crossing his arms on his own lap, dense as ever he didn't get the clear sexual tension growing there.

"I fucking missed you..." he whispered. When he got drunk, Stuart got terribly clingy and needy. Especially with Murdoc. Sometimes he would say terribly sweet things... "Just let me stay here a bit... please don't hit me..."

Besides sex that had been a while the singer didn't get laid, he wanted to be closer Murdoc just ‘cuz he missed him for real. There wasn't a day that he didn't think about the Satanist and his other mates. They were his family how could he not miss them? He just wanted a moment of him laying on Murdoc and him caressing his hair.

Murdoc bit his lip and growled slightly. "I forgot how... close you like to get when you're drunk Dents." He gave a defeated sigh, reminding himself to settle down.

"I won't hit you Stu... you can stay as long as you like." He just continued to run his hands through his blue hair.

"I knew you'd miss me Dents. Believe it or not, I missed ya too." He chuckled and played with a few strands, running them through his fingertips.

"I miss getting laid too." He mumbled to himself. He was partially mad at himself for staying in, this was not at all what he'd planned to do tonight, but he didn't mind this either. They had needed to work a few things out and it was better than having a cocky little brat trying to tell him what to do and being a dickhead.

He clenched his jaw remembering what 2D had said to him. He needed this band, he needed his band mates and he needed Stu, but he knew he could never openly admit that. He hoped with 2D acting like this, it meant the kid needed him too at least.

Stuart shivered when he heard the last part about getting laid... Murdoc had forgotten how he was clingy. Okay, but he didn’t complain about that. He lifted his head again looking at him. Stuart was having all this courage and boldness due to alcohol... but Murdoc told him to drink, did he know this was gonna happen? Was on purpose?

Hesitantly he placed his hand on the side of his face. "Hope you're feeling less lonely now mate..." he whispered. "I'm really sorry of what I told you earlier...I didn’t mean that... We... I... need you too..." He meant the band. "I was really happy when Noodle told me you were coming..." He smiled and began playing with his black hair back sounding terribly honest. Murdoc wouldn’t hit him, so he could treat him with care.

 Stuart didn’t come ‘‘‘cuz of Noodle, he was just too scared of telling the bassist a big part of why he had come back was the hope of seeing him again.

“Oh Muds... I'm really glad you're here with me..." he looked at his mouth for a moment. Stuart wanted to get laid as well... he found that was gonna be better with an old mate than with random people like he was doing recently. He would be able to help Murdoc relax and wouldn’t hurt him doing that.

Murdoc froze when 2D started playing with his hair. His breath got shaky and his heart started beating. “T-that’s okay… I-I’m glad to be here too Stu…” He bit his lip hard as he listened to the kid talk so openly. He began stuttering so he shut up. Murdoc wasn't sure if he was teasing him on purpose or not. Was this a punishment for the last couple years? If he kissed him would Stu kiss back? ‘ _only one way to find out’_ he thought. ‘ _If not I'll blame the alcohol’_.

"Fuck it." He said. He put the bottle down that was in his other hand, turning back to 2D with a devilish smile. He leaned in, using his hand in the boy’s hair to pull him just a little closer, and gave him a passionate kiss. He stuck his unnaturally long tongue into his mouth, using it to play with Stuart's tongue. He could feel his pants getting a little tighter, he hoped to Satan Stu didn't pull away.

Stuart froze for a moment. He was drunk but still thinking of what he was doing. The singer didn’t really think it was happening... he needed some moments to realize. Even intoxicated and undeniably horny he knew what he was doing.

Stuart would never pull away to that... was all he wanted, he was just too scared of kissing him and be rejected... it would hurt a lot. He was quick to part his lips and allow Murdoc to have full access to his mouth. He couldn’t help but let out a soft moan when his drunk brain realized what was happening.

His hands went to his waist to avoid his sore shoulder and he pulled Murdoc closer. Was that all ‘cuz Murdoc was missing get laid or... there was something more...? No don’t think about that.. It was good and tasted like whiskey. And of course Stuart wanted more.


	5. Welcome back

Murdoc gave a throaty growl when Stu moaned. That was exactly what he wanted, it only drove him on. He loved the taste of 2D, he loved his hands on him, he loved his lips and he loved running his hands through his hair. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop now.

 He laughed a little as the kid pulled him closer. He didn't think he'd want this, let alone pull him closer. He got bold. He pulled his singer into his lap, not even breaking the kiss. He brought his hands down to cup his ass, giving it a little squeeze. He pulled him as close as he possibly could, pushing him against his erection.

"Shit Stu. You're really killing me now." He laughed, out of breath, pulling away from the kiss. He put his head against 2D's shoulder, trying to catch his breath. His hands came up and rubbed his back gently.

Stuart's brows rose when he was pulled in his lap. He welcomed the act spreading his legs so both erections could be touching and moaned again... Yeah Stuart was turned on too, since he heard Murdoc was gonna take a shower and began drinking imagining him that close naked.

He wrapped his arms around his neck avoiding his shoulder. When Murdoc broke the kiss he blushed hearing what he said. Was Murdoc really taking a break that breath taken ‘‘‘cuz of him? Stuart smiled thinking that...

No, no, that must have happened due the big amount of time he didn't shag..  He chuckled and his hand went to the back of his head, caressing his black locks. He held him carefully purring a low "Muds..." full of meaning and fondness. Accidentally he turned Murdoc's face to the side so he was hearing his racing heart now.

Murdoc shivered when he heard him say his nickname. As he continued to catch his breath, his head resting against 2D's chest, he listened to his heartbeat. He decided he needed to be closer.

He moved his hands to the bottom of 2D's shirt and lifted it off. He threw the shirt to the side somewhere and put his head back against 2D's chest. It was a beautiful sound, it was beating in a steady fast rhythm, all because of him. He was beyond excited at this point, he needed 2D now.

He dragged his nails very gently down 2D's back as he started sucking and biting his collar bone. He worked his way to both sides, and then started kissing up his neck. He let out small little growls as he made his way up. His hands made their way down to his hips and he held onto him tight as 2D grinded into him.

Stuart didn’t struggle, when Murdoc lifted his shirt he just let him do it. For some moments, his boldness was gone and replaced with desire and adoration for Murdoc. He wanted the older male to touch him so bad.

He noticed Murdoc a bit unstable... the singer felt awesome he could have this effect on Murdoc. This tiny action of him hearing his heartbeat made Stuart blush... it wasn’t something he thought Murdoc would do... he thought he just wanted to get laid nothing else. The time he pressed his ear again against his chest Stuart caressed his hair and hold him close.

He shivered with those nails... he didn’t know the bassist could use them that soft. He moaned a bit louder when kissed, his teeth would leave characteristical and undeniable marks there. But he didn’t mind, he wanted to be marked. As a reaction he tightened his legs around his body desperately wanting more friction. His boner going from uncomfortable to painful.

"Muds please touch me..." he said in a low tone, red from his chest to his ears. His hands resting on the Satanist’s hair.

Murdoc smirked when he heard 2D beg to be touched. He knew the singer wanted it, he could feel him squeezing him with his legs and running his long delicate fingers through his hair.

"I thought you'd never ask. Hold on to me." He purred, as he slowly stood up with 2D's legs wrapped around him. He had his hands back down cupping his ass, giving it another squeeze. He was a little unsteady, but he kept upright and walked them over to his bed.

He pried 2D off of him and threw him gently onto his bed. He stood over him and bit his lip, smiling devilishly. He was breathing hard and wanted nothing more than to jump the boy now, but he needed to make sure 2D wanted him to continue. He kneeled down over the top of 2D. "You sure about this, Bluebird?" He stuck his long tongue out playfully.

Stuart smiled when he was lifted. He chuckled actually... being carried in a lap wasn’t something he was expecting from Murdoc of all people... his head spined but he kept it in place holding him tightly around his waist to help Murdoc, his fingers still in his hair. He yelped when felt his ass squeezed.

When he hit the bed, whole room was spinning... Even after so much time it smelled like Murdoc still. His Egyptian silk sheets were still there... His eyes widened when he came on the top of him. He wasn’t expecting any question, Murdoc was just actions and no care when it came to sex. Was what Stuart thought after seeing the birds he brought to his Winnie half naked being dumped in the middle of the night. Stuart was the one who asked much more than he should and made birds and maybe Murdoc annoyed.

He shivered hearing his nickname. He loved the tone and the way Murdoc called him anything that wasn’t depreciative, even more asking for his permission... he cared. Stuart knew deep inside he cared.

The singer nodded. He was never so sure about anything in life "Y-you sure you want me, Muds...?" he asked sounding he was scared he would pull of now, trying to focus in the two man he was seeing in front of him due to his drunkenness. The big tent on his trousers was undeniable now, he wanted Murdoc.

Murdoc chuckled at 2D's question, "Obviously D, otherwise I would have kicked your skinny little ass out of my Winnie a while ago." He winked and leaned down to stick his tongue in 2D's navel. He then kissed and licked his way up to his left nipple. There he played with it with his tongue, while sucking and nibbling on it. He kept his eyes on 2D's eyes the entire time he did this.

Meanwhile, he grabbed the zipper to his jeans and slowly pulled down. When he got to the end, he stopped attacking 2D's nipple with his tongue and worked on pulling off 2D's jeans. He threw those behind him.

He stood up at the end of the bed again looking down at his singer. He smirked when he saw 2D's underwear hardly containing his hard on. His own jeans were unbearably tight at the moment. "Beg for me, love." He demanded evilly.

When Murdoc licked his navel he couldn’t help but giggle. He was sensitive in that body part and Murdoc seemed to know that. His nipple was another, he moaned when it was nibbled shivering and squirming under him. Birds didn’t do that. When he looked down and found his eyes Stuart swore he could have cum right there.

He yelped when he was undressed... now all his blue hairs were showing. He sighed in relieve when that tight jeans left him.

"P-please Muds... " his words were slurred "I-I need you so bad... I-I.." he wasn’t good in begging, till he saw his tent and that Murdoc wasn’t joking. It was really happening. "Fuck Mu’doc... just fuck me already... M-my cock is like this ‘cuz of you and you barely touched me..." his dick was jumping just seeing Murdoc in front of him turned on.

He managed to land on his elbow... his please was honest. "Please let me show you how much I missed you so much... Muds... Please..." Due to his drunk state, he didn’t notice how his begging was a bit humiliating

Murdoc grinned from ear to ear. He loved hearing 2D beg. He wanted to throw his jeans off and take him there, but he needed to be a little more patient for just a little longer. He wanted to focus on his singer. He thought he looked absolutely stunning on the bed begging, he wanted to savor it just a little longer.

He crawled onto the bed between 2D's legs, he grabbed his left leg and started kissing the inside of it, starting just above his knee. He made his way down towards his groin slowly, keeping his eyes on 2D's the entire time. When he got close, he switched legs and did the same thing to 2D's other leg. He loved to watch 2D squirm.

He finally grabbed the top of 2D's underwear and slowly pulled down, exposing 2D's hard dick. Murdoc gulped in excitement as he noticed the tip of 2D's dick was leaking precum. He bit his lip as he took of 2D's underwear the rest of the way and threw those onto his dirty floor.

He looked back up to 2D, "Before I start, my little blueberry, I have to ask. Have you every been with a guy before?"

When Stuart felt his leg being kissed he bit his lip and gripped the Egyptian sheets. Was Murdoc really praising him like that? It made his already hard cock throb... was so good, girls never did that... they usually found his legs too thin and too long and weird. Murdoc seemed to enjoy them.

Stuart gasped to that when he noticed Murdoc was looking at him. Visual contact was one of his weaknesses... he never looked who he was shagging in the eyes... he was ashamed of his awkwardness reflected into some random person’s eyes.

Stuart looked at him taking a time to process his question due to his drunk state and that blueberry thing that made him blush. "N-no.. Muds... Y-you’re t-the first.." he stuttered being honest and placing both hands on his face from embarrassment.

Murdoc's heart started racing at hearing he'd be 2D's first. He'd taken plenty of firsts, but those were random people he never really gave a shit about. He knew he was going to have fun, he couldn't wait to see all of his reactions.

"You're in for a real treat then." He chuckled as he saw the kid put his hands up to his face in embarrassment. He leaned down and gently grabbed 2D's cock, wrapping his hand around the base. He then leaned over it and licked the tip of it. He still kept his eyes on hid singer's making sure he watched every second of it. 

He then put his mouth around the head, his tongue staying on his tip. As he put more in of 2D into his mouth, he had his long tongue wrap around it as best he could. He went only half way, where he met his hand, and held it there, massaging with his tongue. His other hand was holding onto the singer’s hip, keeping his as still as he could.

Murdoc was his first, Stuart really told him that. God he'll brag about it for the rest of his life... soon his hands went outta his face back to the sheets. Would Murdoc do differently if he wasn’t his first? No, never mind.

"Mu’doc.." he couldn’t help but moan his name when he was licked. That damned tongue. One of his hands found Murdoc's on his hip holding it and with the other, he caressed his black hair slowly and carefully. "Please Muds..." he told him closing his eyes.. He was terribly horny but he was still soft someway, especially with Murdoc.

He didn’t know if what he was doing gently would piss Murdoc off as he should be used to rougher guys in bed, the singer thought moaning lowly.

Murdoc smiled when 2D's hands were in his hair. He wanted to impress 2D, so he was going to do something he didn't do often. He mentally prepared himself, taking a couple deep breaths. He took one final deep breath and brought 2D fully into his mouth, pushing him deep into his throat. He choked twice and was finally able to hold his gag reflex.

He tried to keep his eyes on 2D as best he could. He kept moving his tongue, trying to swallow so as to massage 2D's cock. He could feel his lungs start to warn him he'd need to breathe soon. His eyes started watering, a tear or two falling. He tried to focus on keeping 2D at the back of his throat as long as possible. He looked at him for his reaction.

Stuart now nearly screamed his name, thankfully they weren’t inside the studio so Noodle and Russel wouldn’t be able to hear him... his back arched and him squirmed under the Satanist... he wasn’t expecting a deep throat... the hand on his hair quickly gripped the sheets and his other hand squeezed his. It was his first time too.

Stuart couldn’t help but feel worried about his mate... it seemed something bloody difficult and were those tears..?. Fuck now he looked gorgeous "Muds.. M-Muds.. If you... I won’t..." he couldn’t say a proper sentence when his cock hit the back of Murdoc's throat. He looked at him and for a moment, he thought it was all just a dream, so good to be true.... "Oh God Mu’doc..." he looked into his eyes.

Murdoc was elated to see his singer squirm. He knew the kid was going to cum soon, but he needed him to wait just a little longer. He quickly brought his head up and away from 2D's cock, taking a deep breath and coughing slightly. He would keep going if he thought the kid would last longer, maybe another time.

He didn't wait for 2D's reaction, he went over to his side drawer by his bed, praying to Satan there was still lube there. He was in luck, so he brought it back over to 2D. He popped the cap and put enough on to coat three of his fingers.

He looked down at 2D, grabbing his legs and having him bend them up and push them out a bit so he could to his ass much easier.

"Okay, Stu. I gotta loosen you up, okay? Please tell me if something hurts or you don't want me to do it anymore okay? I'm serious, tell me right away. Understand my little blueberry?"

Stuart took a deep breath when Murdoc let go of him. He didn't look upset... he thought Murdoc wouldn't do just that little to please him. And to that Stuart liked the idea pretty much.. he focused in not cumming.

Before he could think Murdoc was back bending his legs.  To his question he blushed. Anytime Murdoc would use "my" when referring to him Stuart would lose it. He nodded "I-I'll tell you, Muds... I promise..." he told him a low tone looking into his eyes.

 Murdoc cared... he cared enough to tell him he could give up... that he didn't want to hurt him. His dumb heart fluttered with joy hearing that.

He was still drunk so he thought he could dare "M-may I have a kiss Mu’doc.. ? I-It’s okay if you don't want to..." for some reason he wanted Murdoc closer him... he was acting so soft so caring Stuart couldn't help but ask him. He bit his lip looking at him with expectation.

Murdoc's eyes widened in surprise at the request. He wanted a kiss? He never really had anyone ask for something so small and so sweet. It made him blush a bit.

This was also another thing he wasn't quite used to. He was more used to people taking action rather than asking him for permission and he'd just go along with it. Stuart was always good about asking and he got embarrassed from how sweet it was every time.

He both hated and loved how the kid made him so nervous. It threw him off his game, made him unprepared.

"S-sure..." He cleared his throat and tried to sound more confident. "I mean, of course!" He smiled slyly. He leaned down over Stu, positioning his lubed fingers at his entrance, while he leaned farther up and gently kissed him.

He slid his tongue back into 2D's mouth and at the same time, gently slipped a single finger into him. He waited a minute then slowly slid his finger in deeper, letting 2D get used to the sensation.

Stuart noticed how he stuttered when saying yes. He couldn't help but smile. He cupped his face and kissed him passionately.

What he wasn't expecting was his finger inside him... it made him moan and his body shake. Unconsciously he spread his legs obscenely as an invitation. He was never touched in that part. It felt weird and hurt a bit... but Stuart wouldn't give up now. The kiss distracted him from pain. Soon he got used to the new sensation "More Muds... please..." he whispered caressing his hair... "Fuck you're beautiful..." he slurred drunkenly and kissed him again.

Murdoc laughed as 2D kissed him after calling him beautiful. That was the most heart warming thing he'd ever heard, he couldn't deny the kid what he wanted.

As he continued to kiss Stu, he reached down and unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He released his own hard cock, feeling the greatest sense of relief he's ever felt.

He started kissing Stu a little more aggressively now, as he slipped in another lubed finger. He slid it in farther, slowly. He scissored his fingers slightly to try to open him up. He also felt around for Stuart's prostate, he wanted him to feel the pure bliss of having it hit. He found it and pushed into it.

Stuart shivered with his laugh that close... it felt amazing. He bit Murdoc's lip when he watched him releasing himself. He couldn't help but just stare at it for some moments... taking advantage of his black eyes, he hoped Murdoc didn’t mind him staring. He wondered if it would fit as he was drunk and it looked bigger than actually it was.

Then, the second finger was added to take him off his trance. He squirmed and moaned breaking the aggressive kiss for a moment. "M-Muds...whazzzat..?" He slurred feeling something inside him that felt good when the Satanist touched.. "D-Do this again, p-please..." he whined. Probably his prostate but Stuart was just too dense to know what it was.

Not really thinking and hoping he wasn't messing up, he reached for his cock, gently grabbing and squeezing it, unsure if he was doing that right...

Murdoc loved when 2D moaned. It told him the kid was feeling good, especially when he had hit his prostate. He thought it was cute that 2D had no idea what that was.

"That, my little blue jay, is what's going to make this feel amazing." He smirked. He groaned when 2D touched him. His cock was aching from the neglect, so he was extremely sensitive to Stu's touch. He let out a shaky breath, trying to keep focus his singer.

Murdoc finally decided to add a third finger. He went slow since this was quite a bit for the kid, but he needed to make sure he didn't hurt him. He went back to kissing 2D, moaning into his mouth. He wanted to make sure the kid was as relaxed as possible before he tried his cock next.

He stopped kissing 2D, putting his mouth by his ear and whispering, "Are you ready, Stu?"

Stuart heard his explanation... well, Murdoc didn't tell him much of what it was but he it felt good. With just his fingers, he was almost melting with his touch.

Hearing him groan when touched encouraged the drunk singer to go ahead... he began slowly stroking Murdoc, wanting to hear more moans from him. He loved to know he was doing right even not knowing what was the right to do Murdoc was being patient with him.

His moans into his mouth was all Stuart could have asked for. He found unfair that Murdoc was only giving him pleasure... he needed to feel it too. Stuart was so intoxicated by Murdoc's touch ‘‘cuz he knew he wanted more "I-I am..." he hesitated taking a deep breath and licking his lips "Please Muds... I want you..." he was aware it would hurt but... he wouldn't miss the chance to know why Murdoc was called a sex god. He let go his cock and spread his legs welcoming the Satanist.

Murdoc bit his lip as he heard 2D say those words. He could have cum right then and there, especially with the singer touching him. He reminded himself to focus.

He pulled out his fingers and stood up, breaking all contact with Stu. He grabbed the lube again and put some on his cock. He crawled back onto the bed over the top of 2D. He smiled wickedly at seeing his singer in such a lewd position.

He brought himself down to line up with 2D's entrance, he looked back up at his singer as he did this, watching his face as he slowly slid into him. He let out another moan as he did so. He would push in a little and stop to let Stuart get used to it, then push in a little more. He did this till he was all completely inside. He wanted to move faster, as the inside of 2D felt amazing. It was squeezing him perfectly, it felt so good. His breathing was shaky, he kept cursing under his breath.

When he broke the contact he blinked twice to understand what happened. He didn’t like Murdoc leaving him... but then he understood why he did that. Stuart swallowed hard looking like a prey when Murdoc come atop of him.

Stuart kept eye contact all the time with the Satanist... he wanted to see the face he made while making him his, while being his first.

It was painful of course but Stuart was aware... his tiny nails scratched his other shoulder and he let out a low shout of pain between teeth, taking deep breaths and panting to bear the pain. He had to close his eyes after a while and tears appeared in the corner of them.

He bowed his head and hid his face once Murdoc was inside..."Mu’doc.." it was a new sensation that invasion. Once he managed to breathe again and get used to it he pulled out to see the Satanist’s face. The tears fell from his eyes and he froze for a moment.

Those big black orbs of the singer stared him shining with tears and admiration and he placed his hand on his face feeling a bit sober for some moments. "Muds..." he whispered, his voice a bit hoarse due to his crying but sounding terribly fond.

Murdoc froze when Stuart said his nickname while caressing his face. It made his heart race. He noticed the teary eyes and it made his chest hurt. He had no idea what that feeling was, he'd never felt it before. He was breathing hard trying to control himself, worried 2D couldn't handle it. The kid was doing okay for his first time, better than Murdoc had done. He wondered if he should have been more gentle.

He licked his dry lips and brought a hand up, running it through 2D's hair, pushing it up and away from his face. He wiped away his tears. He thought 2D looked like a beautifully stunning mess. He felt possessive for a moment, never wanting anyone else to see 2D like this. He rubbed 2D's cheek with his thumb as his hand caressed the side of his face as well.

"Hey, hey. You're doing well my little blueberry. I'm all in now, the worst is over." He leaned down and started gently kissing his jaw line. "Let me know when you're okay for me to start." Murdoc was in agony at this point, but he really didn't want a crying and hurt 2D, that wouldn't be fun for either or them.

Stuart closed his eyes when he run his fingers through his hair... it felt, intimate. He wiping his tears wasn’t something he was expecting either... He smiled at that. With that tiny act Stuart found that he really cared, and they had some sorta connection a little bigger than just long time without shagging... the singer didn’t think Murdoc did those things with his lovers.

He blinked again when he heard his voice... so soft... so different from what he was used to. He felt his own heart race. He barely could manage to understand what he asked, Murdoc inside him felt so... good, but he wanted him to hit his, what’s its name again? No never mind was good and Murdoc knew how to do it.

Stuart sniffled softly and nuzzled the hand on his face gently kissing it.. "I'm okay... please move Muds..." he only asked never demanded. And he let out a warm smile after pecking his lips.

Murdoc didn't hesitate when 2D said it was okay to move, licking his lips after 2D gave him a quick kiss. He began to kiss 2D again, aggressively. He pulled out of his singer almost to the end and slammed back into him. He tried to be gentler, but he was at his wits end. He continued thrusting, grunting and moaning the entire time into 2D's mouth. 

He brought his hand from 2D's face and grabbed his hard cock. The tip was leaking slightly, which was a good sign. He started stroking his singer in rhythm with himself. He wanted to watch 2D cum all over himself while Murdoc came inside him.

"You're mine, 2D. You're my singer, my blue bird, _mine_." He kept repeating as he kissed 2D's jaw again, and then moved down to his neck. He bit hard into the singer’s neck then sucked on it, leaving a deep dark bruise bigger than the others he'd left from earlier.

Stuart yelled when he first did it, his tears coming back to his eyes. He knew Murdoc would be gentle but it hurt anyway. He wined and held himself tightly around Murdoc shaking and closing his eyes.

To prevent himself from moaning too loud he kissed Murdoc once again panting heavily. when Murdoc held his cock he could hold himself from moaning a loud "Muds..." he had even forgotten about his own cock, so focused on the Satanist. He opened his mouth loosely moaning his name with some drool escaping it, Murdoc was quick to find his sweet spot and pain soon became pleasure.

"I'm all yours Mu’doc... only - fuck - yours... please...” he bit his lip strongly, now his tears were from pleasure. He was a sweaty red mess squirming and begging for more. He yelped with that bite and shivered again... " _My_ Mu’doc..."  he slipped the possessive pronoun knowing he belonged to the bassist, but wasn’t sure about the opposite.

Murdoc kept thrusting into Stuart and stroking him. He knew they were both close. He loved hearing 2D agree that he was Murdoc's. He kept licking and sucking on his bite mark, he wanted it to be as dark and noticeable as possible by the time they were done.

He heard 2D mentioned how Murdoc was his, this was something he hadn't been expecting the singer to say. It struck something inside him that made him shiver and thrust harder. He'd never had anyone want him to be theirs, not in the way 2D sounded.

He grunted and said between thrusts, "Fuck yes, I'm yours Bluebird." Saying that threw him over the edge. He put in a few more hard thrusts and came inside Stuart, a loud moan escaping his lips. He tried to remember to stroke 2D as well, but the explosion of pleasure he felt was too much for him to think.

Stuart noticed Murdoc was close; he was too with that damned hand. When Murdoc told him he was his that was it. Maybe both man could come with just telling things... he came the moment he finished the sentence, Murdoc didn’t have to touch him anymore.

"Fuck Muds... aah~" he messed both man's abdomens and his eyes rolled into his head while orgasm took him over. He instinctively held Murdoc close when he came, kissing him after his loud moan... his voice was amazing when it came to sex.

He kissed Murdoc so hard that when he pulled out there was still a trail of saliva connecting both mouths. He was panting heavily and his eyes were half opened only, full of lust. His hair slicked on his forehead and his neck ached with that mark Murdoc left, but he didn’t mind.

"You're mine, Mu’doc..." he told him a bit more serious now, looking into his eyes, with the Satanist still buried in him. His hand gently brushed some strands from his forehead, Stuart gently kissing it after.

Murdoc felt himself get pulled close to Stuart, just deciding to collapse on top of the kid as they finished together. He was breathing hard, not wanting to move. He could feel 2D's cum all over their stomachs.

As his head lay on 2D's chest, he felt the kid brush his hair aside and kiss his forehead, which made him look up at 2D as he looked into his eyes and repeated that Murdoc was his. He blushed in embarrassment and smiled slightly, unable to reply. It still sounded lovely to him. He listened to 2D breathe hard for a few moments, catching his own breath as he felt content and satisfied.

"Shit, that was phenomenal 2D. You feel amazing." He said as he decided to finally pull out and lay beside 2D. He couldn't be bothered to get himself cleaned up at the moment, he was just too tired. He turned to his side to look at 2D, brushing a few strands of blue hair off his forehead again. He looked down at the bite he'd left and winced. "Does it hurt?"

Stuart blushed from his compliment. "Thanks Muds... It was a real good... y’know first time for me..." he giggled. When Stuart turned to the side and Murdoc brushed his hair, his eyes widened "Fuck Mu’doc" he didn’t even have the time to answer him.

They didn’t pay attention while shagging but his shoulder was bleeding due to all adrenaline and sudden movements. That scared the singer that immediately became sober and ran after the first aid kit again. The bandages were already red.

"God Muds, does it hurt..?" He kneeled next to him "I-I'm sorry for ruining the moment but..." he cracked a smile, worried genuinely about Murdoc's wellbeing. Well another discharge of adrenaline was all the singer needed to forget about his own pain.

He began removing it to see how was under "I'-I'm sorry.." he told him as was his fault he moved too much in sex and ended hurt. "And well... your bite isn’t hurting at all, but my ass..." he chuckled.

Murdoc was startled by 2D suddenly getting up to go get the first aid kit. He looked at his shoulder, having not noticed it at all during sex, and saw it was indeed bleeding pretty bad. He didn't mind terribly, he'd had worse during sex. It stung a little when 2D started cleaning it, but he wouldn't admit that ever.

"I'm fine my little blueberry. No need to worry." He gave 2D a sly smile, he liked having the kid dote on him. "Don't apologize 2D, that's ridiculous. Like I said before, I don't mind a little pain." He winked at his singer.

Then he chuckled at 2D's comment, "I can't say I'm entirely sorry for your ass. I tried to be gentler but, fuck, it felt so good." He gave his ass a gentle little slap, grinning ear to ear this time.

"Next time, I'm gonna have you screaming 'Murdoc is God'" he chuckled again. He reached his hand up to 2D's neck, rubbing his thumb gently over the bite mark. He loved that mark, he never wanted it to go away.

"Well you can not mind but... die due to lack of blood isn’t the best plan, innit?" he was as dramatical as his older mate. Once alcohol lost effect, Murdoc would howl from pain.

He yelped to that slap and smiled to him blushing. He almost hurt him even more unfocusing. "Don’t be sorry for that.. I liked you inside me.. A lot... actually" he confessed looking at his shoulder, he was too shy to look at him. Stuart was working twice as careful as before not to hurt him.

Now was the singer who smiled from ear to ear, was Murdoc looking for a next time already..?  He bit his lip thinking about it and chuckled "You're really a sex God, Muds... Or almost a god, you still bleed mate" he looked at him with a warm smile complimenting him honestly almost done. Murdoc chuckled to that.

"I don’t wanna even shag birds anymore if I have you to fuck me..." his cocky self appearing a bit. He grabbed the hand on his neck gently kissing it. "I'm yours right?" he teased finishing his shoulder "There you go..." he kissed on the bandages too, stupid as ever.

Murdoc blushed slightly again, his heart racing as 2D asked if he was his. He cleared his throat to try to hide it. Did 2D really not want to be with anyone else now? Did Murdoc want that?

He loved the idea of 2D being his, and only his. He was like a child obsessing over a toy, but he wasn't sure if he was actually committed to having 2D all to himself or if he just liked the idea. He'd never really had anyone this close to think about it. Did Murdoc even deserve something as nice as that?

He swallowed, pushing those thoughts away, and gave the boy a charming smile, "Yeah, 2D. You're mine." He thought it was cute how he kissed his bandages, 2D was such an adorably odd kid.

"Okay, okay. Don't be weird." He laughed, quickly reaching up to grab 2D's arm and pull him down so Murdoc was lying on his back with 2D on his chest. He put his head back, reaching up and putting one arm behind his own head to rest on and the other around 2D. He brought his hand up and played with his hair.

"Hey I'm not weird...M-my mother told me kisses heal wounds..." he shrugged. Soon he was pulled to use Murdoc as a mattress. He purred and wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling him closer and hoping now he could have fixed his shagging problem in a good way. He smiled widely when heard he was Murdoc's, many thoughts crossing his mind with that.

He decided not to ruin the moment again and didn’t say anything... but for a moment he asked himself why Murdoc was being that kind with him, that was the time he should kick him out or something... not hear his stupid excuses, kisses and nursing.

Murdoc shouldn’t have patience for him... but for some reason he accepted and not to angry Murdoc, Stuart didn’t say anything about what happened between them, just playing with his chest hair and feeling Murdoc's nails on his scalp. He felt safe and quickly both man drifted to sleep.


	6. Pedro and Carlos

Murdoc awoke the next morning with a pounding headache. He tried to stretch only to find 2D still on his chest, sleeping and drooling. His hand was still resting on 2D's head, the other behind his own head still. He was sore and stiff, his shoulder aching.

He slowly slid 2D off him, trying not to wake him up. As he got up off the bed, he looked down at 2D sleeping. He was covered in bruises and the bites he could see on his neck were dark. He sighed, wondering how they were going to explain that to Russ and Noodle. He took one quick look at his ass before leaving.

He stumbled towards his fridge, still naked, and grabbed a beer. After popping it open and taking a sip, he stretched properly this time, his few of his joints popping.

He decided he needed a shower, as he felt the dried lube and cum all over him. He walked over with his beer can and hopped in to the shower. He continued to drink in it, hoping it'd help his headache.

Stuart awoke when he heard the shower. His head was pounding without his medicine and the obvious hangover. He shouldn’t have drink that much... he placed both hands on his head and groaned in pain.

He looked around, it wasn’t his bedroom... was Murdoc's... Winnie? Fuck he was screwed. Murdoc didn’t like when he stood there till the next day.. But where was he...? He felt a bit dizzy and didn’t realized he was in the shower by the noise he previously heard.

 The singer needed to do something. He quickly sat down and a sharp pain hit his rear making him yelp and curse under his breath. He looked around for his clothes and found his and Murdoc’s. The Satanist’s was covered in blood so he put his own. He would have put his trousers back but Stuart was just too dirty and in too much pain to stand up properly.

He curled himself in a ball unable to move and waited for Murdoc to help him. If he complained or hit him, he wouldn’t even mind. He covered his head with his sheets so the light that came outside didn’t hurt his eyes. How long did he sleep? Where Noodle and Russel were by now? Those questions made his head ache and he felt nauseated.

Murdoc finally got out of the shower, not even bothering with a towel this time. He walked out to see Stuart curled up with the sheets over his head. He looked at him curiously, wondering what the kid was doing.

He walked closer, "Hey, Dent's what are-" he stopped when he heard Stuart whimpering and shaking slightly. He knew all too well what that was. Should have figured this would happen with him drinking.

He quickly went around, closed his blinds, as tightly as he could, then threw some pants on real quick.

"Hold on Stu, I'll go get your pills." He whispered to him, running out of his Winnie and towards his room. ‘They would be in there right?’ he thought. Murdoc remembered how he always lost them before, swearing he'd tie the damn pill bottles around his bloody forehead.

He made it to Stuart's room and saw how it was a little bit of a mess, but not as bad as Murdoc's. He searched for a few minutes frantically, about ready to check the bathrooms, when he found them under his pillow. He looked at the bottles and noticed 2D had written "Don't lose" on them. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

He grabbed one of them for his migraines and ran back to his Winnie. He quickly grabbed a cup, reluctantly and quickly cleaning the thing because even he thought it was kind of gross. It'd been sitting here for two years covered in… something.

He then filled it with some water and popped out a few pills into his hand for Stu. He walked into his bedroom and sat by Stuart, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

"Here, Dullard." He whispered, taking the sheet off 2D's head so he could see where his pills were.

Stuart didn’t open his eyes when Murdoc came and took off the sheets from him, thankfully the room was dark already. "M'sorry Muds..." he whispered to him blindly taking the pills and swallowing them with, something he thought was water. If Stuart knew, he would sleep in the Winnie he would have brought his pills along. 

He laid down again looking at him now. "Did you sleep well...? How’s your shoulder...?"  He tried to smile groaning in pain again. Instinctively he held his hand waiting the pills to kick in.

Murdoc huffed at 2D squeezing his hand. He wasn't expecting that and he almost pulled it back. He bit his lip, and kept his hand still.

"Stu," he whispered, "its okay. I'm fine. You focus on feeling better first, then you can dote on me all you want, Dullard. I won't stop ya."

Murdoc took this opportunity to survey his handiwork of hickies on Stuart's chest and neck. He thought about what to tell Russ and Noodle about the visible ones on his neck. He could say they went to a strip club last night. Some bird got real bitey with 2D maybe? He bit his lip again, a little nervous.

When he thought about birds, he thought about a different kind of bird, Cortez. He looked over to his shoulder and an idea popped into his head. He could bandage the hickies and say Cortez attacked him. He kept thinking while he waited for 2D's pills to kick in.

Stuart closed his eyes for a moment obeying his suggestion to feel better. "They should work soon, Muds.. would you mind if I take a shower?" he wasn’t feeling that great about standing up or going to the bathroom, but he felt gross... and whole Winnie was already gross enough.

"Think it may help..." he let go his hand when noticed he tensed. Stuart was just clingy when in pain, almost all the time actually. But he would learn how to behave, eventually "What time is it, Muds..?". He wasn’t even thinking about his hickeys all that mattered was his head pounding.

Murdoc looked around his room for his alarm clock. It read a little after 1 in the afternoon.

"It's a lot later than I thought... it's a little after 1." He told 2D. He was shocked the other two hadn’t tried to come find them yet. He looked at 2D struggling to get up and a little felt sorry for him.

He stood up and scooped up 2D bridal style. The kid was thin but long legged, he had to watch to make sure he didn't bang his feet on the door frames or any other items.

He successfully got the singer to his bathroom and gently set him down on the floor of the shower so he didn't have to stand. He went to the other end of the shower and turned it on, putting it to a nice warm temp.

He left for a moment, going back to his backpack from yesterday and pulling out his cigarettes and some shampoo and conditioner he hauled around. He lit the cigarette, feeling a little more at ease, then he walked back in and bathroom floor outside the shower, next to Stu, handing him the shampoo and conditioner bottles.

"One? How could Noodle and-" his sentence was cut in half when Murdoc lifted him. He wasn’t expecting that but didn’t struggle, he just smiled to him.

He mumbled a thank you to Murdoc for all his kindness. He was blushing now, was that a dream? God he didn’t want it to end. He managed to crawl to be under the water wetting himself.

While Murdoc was out, he sat with his back against the wall, still feeling dizzy but a bit better. He smelled smoke. To the sight of Murdoc coming with shampoo and conditioner, he thought about who would take care of who and a big smile appeared on his face.

"Thank you Muds.. I-I swear I won’t drink like I did anymore.. Sorry for being a burden..." he fidgeted with his fingers and pulled his long legs closer his chest. He felt like a bloody baby who couldn’t take care of himself. However, other part of him felt good Murdoc was caring about him... he liked him close babysitting.

Murdoc laughed, grabbing onto his cigarette to flick the ash into the toilet. "Yeah right, Dents. Hang out with me longer and you'll be drinking like a fish. Moreover, don't mention it, Dullard. It's the least I can do for bruising the fuck outta ya... thanks... by the way..." he took another puff of his cigarette.

He was a little embarrassed at saying thank you, but he really meant it. He had really needed that after a year and a half in prison. He had never imagined it'd be 2D though.

He tried not to watch 2D in the shower, but he couldn't help taking a peak at his slender body once and a while. He was surprised that Murdoc had been his first guy... why did 2D let Murdoc do that? He probably had better options... Right?

.Stuart noticed him embarrassed "You're welcome Muds..." he smiled warmly to him seeing his patience. He wasn't thinking about drinking now... far from it. Nevertheless, he knew eventually they would get drunk... but if that meant shagging, well 2D was up for that.

Stuart hesitantly grabbed the shampoo and began washing his hair silently closing his eyes to focus on the water and in soothing the pain. He would need eventually to stand up... and Murdoc wouldn't wait him forever.

He noticed Murdoc looking and wrapped his arms around his body instinctively... he knew he was too skinny and never found himself beautiful due his lack of confidence. He didn't remember the last time someone saw his vulnerable in a position like “sitting on the shower’s floor ‘cuz you can't stand”..  Soon he entered under the water again to rinse his hair.

Murdoc quickly looked away embarrassed as 2D saw him looking and covered himself. He took another puff from his cigarette, flicking more ash into the toilet.

"Sorry D. I don't mean to stare… Can't help it." he snorted. He never thought he'd be saying that to 2D in a million years.

"Let me know if you need help with anything." He suddenly remembered when he had to take care of Stuart during his coma. He remembered him being incredibly skinny and unhealthy looking. Since then he's filled out a little more and has a healthier color to his skin. That had been some of his worst years, but he knew it had to happen to get his singer. He looked back in on Stuart, he had a question he'd been dying to ask for years.

"Do you remember anything from when you were in a coma? Do you remember me at all? Or when I hit you? Anything?"

"No.. no there's no problem Muds.. I .. I just feel I'm awkward, Y’know, abnormally skinny, long limbs, tall. You’ve seem me naked plenty of times and we shagged... I'm sorry..." he quickly apologized not to make Murdoc feel bad. He didn’t know if Murdoc was staring him ‘cuz he found him beautiful or that he found him cadaveric. Most people stared ‘cuz they found him a freak.

Stuart looked at him. It was an odd question. "I remember... well just a little... it was like..." he looked at the floor "that I was deep under the ocean, and all I could hear the water would muffle... so I wouldn’t understand..." he bit his lip trying to make him understand

"You told me once I opened my eyes and made noises... but I can’t remember any of that... not what I felt with my body either.." he looked sad "The only thing I remember from the first accident was the loud sound of the window crashing when your Astra hit it...together with some horrible yells .. It was the last thing I heard and then everything went dark.." thinking was making his head hurt a lot but he didn’t show.

"I'm sorry Muds but I don’t remember what you did to me... but I remember hearing your voice a lot.. not understanding what you were saying, but when I woke up I recognize when you spoke to me... it was familiar." he smiled to him. “oh sometimes I would dream too.... my brain was still working I guess... it made a face when I heard your voice, like me imagining who was talking to me.... but it was so blurry..." he frowned grabbing the conditioner.

Murdoc finished his cigarette and threw the end into the toilet. He glared at 2D as he talked about himself. He thought of himself as ugly? Murdoc scoffed.

"Kid, you're my front man for a reason. You're tall, thin, gorgeous blue hair and your black eyes are the coolest fucking thing ever. I wouldn't want you to change anything."

He bit his lip again as 2D described his time in his comatose state, cringing at the thought of 2D possibly hearing Murdoc while he was in a coma. He knew he was absolutely awful to the kid, throwing him around and neglecting him. He knew Stu would hate him if he found out. All he could do was nod at the kid.

"I think I get it…" he smiled at him, "Do you think your imagination conjured up a face as pretty as mine when your brain was trying to figure out what I looked like?" He laughed.

Stuart blushed while he complimented him "Well I thought I was ‘cuz I knew how to sing..." he chuckled a bit "thanks Muds, you're such a tease too..."

"Well I can tell you that green he wasn’t..." he giggled entering under the water again and starting to get up slowly as his ass began hurting "But I can tell you're much better from what I thought... you're real, y’know not a dream." he smiled to him. What they did was a dream, actually for the singer.

With some effort he managed to stand up and leaned against the wall for support looking at him "As you asked me Muds... may I ask you what happened the time I was well.. a vegetable...? Guess you never talked about this with me..." he opened his eyes, his head hurting a little less "How was for you to take care of me...? If you don’t wanna answer that’s okay too..." he looked at him hopefully not bothering if it was something bad.

Murdoc smiled, "Well, the singing helped too." He saw 2D stand up so he did the same, ready to grab his arm if needed. He stayed visible to 2D, pulling back part of the curtain more so he could keep an eye on him. He leaned against the wall. He blushed about being real, in Stuart’s voice it sounded like something good.

He looked down as 2D asked him about when he'd been in a comatose state, unable to look at his singer when he thought about it. "Well… it was… interesting. You would get brought over to my place where I'd take care of ya for a few hours every week…" he knew 'taking care' wasn't the right word.

"I, uh… wasn't in the best place in my life at the time. I was 30 and still busting my ass to make it big in my musical career. Then you were sorta thrown on me to take care of. How ridiculous is that? For a judge to make someone like me, the person who hit you, take care of a comatose person. Crazy right? But it turned out in the end yeah?" He smiled at 2D, hoping he didn't just make an ass of himself.

Stuart heard his explanation trying to regain his balance. He found cute how Murdoc looked ready to reach to him if he fell... "I found that odd too... But I'm glad was you... if it wasn’t some random nurse I wouldn’t be here..." unfortunately it sounded that was awful for Murdoc taking care of him, he looked down too.

"And my parents... how they reacted...?" he had lost contact with them since Murdoc hired him as a singer. Stuart never know how they treated Murdoc... or how they reacted to the accident. "Can you lend me a towel Muds...? It's freezing..." he joked when turned the water off.

Murdoc looked around for a towel, finding one that was semi-clean. He gave it to 2D, but stood by in case he needed help again.

Murdoc snorted accidentally to 2D's question about his parents. 2D's parents hated Murdoc with every fiber of their being, and rightfully so. He had damaged their child and was now supposed to be entrusted to take care of him? They had given him quite a bit of grief that entire time he'd had to watch the kid. They weren't much better after 2D had come back out of his comatose state with 2 black eyes.

"Uh… they were okay." He lied. "You know, not too happy with me, but it was manageable." He tried to give him a convincing smile.

Stuart frowned a bit... "Well as I know my parents Muds... I thought they would like... give up... not able to deal with... well me.. their only son... a veggie" He leaned on Murdoc's good shoulder smiling to him and walking out

"When I was younger and hit me head... they kinda... ignored it for a while, when my hair fell and grew blue... I thought they were mad at me... or sorta... but I found out it was their way to deal with things I guess..." he began drying himself.

Stuart wasn’t the best dealing with things too, especially things that involved Murdoc... but he grew up thinking that avoiding the problem or ignoring it didn’t work ‘‘cuz with his parents were like that. That should be the reason why he always insisted on Murdoc so much. Why he was never able to be away or ignore him, even if he was mad. 

He began drying his hair slowly and wobbly as he was still a bit dizzy. "Thanks for a... waiting for me, Muds..." he told him with his brilliant smile.

"Possibly… they mainly seemed upset at me, but I don't think they ever gave up on you 2D. Not completely anyways..." he tried to sound comforting, but felt he was failing. He remembered how upset they'd be when they'd come to drop off their comatose kid. He had found it ridiculous at the time. He watched 2D get out of the shower, trying not to look at his ass.

"It all worked out though right? You and me, the dynamic duo, and with the other two of course." He chuckled. "Plus, your father let you work at the fair, yeah?" He watched as the kid dried his hair. He wanted to help but thought he was helping him too much and he might not like that. He heard him say a thanks for waiting.

"You're welcome Dullard... thanks for letting me use your ass, yeah?" he laughed at his own joke. "So…" he cleared his throat, "You think we should go find the others? I think we have… worked things out, yeah?" He winked at Stu.

 He went and grabbed the kids clothes off the floor, setting them next to him, while he went to go find a shirt to put on. He found his jeans from yesterday and transferred the token Stu had given him go the pocket on his current jeans.

Stuart chuckled "Dynamic duo huh?" it sounded nice "Yeah he kinda asked me about you that's why I mentioned my parents... he asked if I was still in your band and... or if you had already kicked me out that's why I was back..." he giggled "he never thought I would earn life with y’know? Music... always told me I was too stupid for anything..." he wrapped the towel around his waist.

He blushed with his indecent joke. "Anytime..." he blinked back. The singer began getting dressed after Murdoc gave him his clothes "Oh I think so... Noodle should be probably looking for us to continue yesterday's talk and we... disappeared..." he looked at the bathroom's mirror "Guess I'll have to explain myself to them about this..." he looked at the bruises in his neck... "It's not fair I can’t mark you..." he frowned.

Murdoc frowned at hearing his dad had called him stupid. He knew what it was like to live with a father like that. “They don’t have anything to do more with your life, mate…” he said seriously knowing by his sound of voice it hurt him.

He called back to Stuart, "You're a bloody brilliant composer! Never forget that, stupid or not." He came back out and looked at the dressed singer, checking to see which hickies were visible.

He pointed to his shoulder, where the scratches were. "You marked me plenty, dullard. I love having a back full of scratch marks after a good night of sex." He winked at the boy again. He really did like looking at them in the mirror afterwards.

"Uh... I was thinking we could cover the hickies 2D..." he swallowed. He liked seeing the bruises, but he wasn't really wanting to tell Russ or Noodle they'd shagged in his Winnie. He hoped 2D would understand.

Stuart wasn’t expecting that answer "Oh Muds.. Thank you..." he blushed and smiled to him warmly. Stuart knew how his father was, _way_ worse than his for sure.

Stuart looked to the marks "Oh I'll keep that in mind for a next time..." the singer was already thinking about it again. “You have anything to cover them mate?" he asked softly... "or maybe we could find a good excuse I’know... ‘cuz the way you talk they will appear pretty often in me..." he chuckled again rubbing his fingertips on the marks and biting his lip, he already wanted more.

Murdoc smiled deviously at 2D mentioning more times together later. He liked the idea of fucking him again. He put his hands in his jean pockets as he thought of an excuse for the hickies.

"Well we could cover them with bandages and say Cortez got ya, or say we went to a strip club and you found a bird that did those." He hated these ideas when he said them out loud. He was slightly jealous at the idea of not being able to show his marks or having to say someone else did them. He felt like pouting a little, which he thought was ridiculous.

Stuart turned around to face him. Murdoc looked unhappy with those excuses. "Muds... I..." how to tell him that? "I don’t really care about what they think if I don’t cover the hickeys y’know? Russel told us we needed some time alone... maybe they knew this would happen..." he shrugged. "I don’t regret anything do you?" he asked honestly, Murdoc was his first and he was happy for that. "I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable okay? But I know they are yours... and that's what matters." He smiled placing a hand on his shoulder. Was his stupid way to tell Murdoc he wasn’t ashamed of him. And he liked to be marked to feel the Satanist owned him.

Murdoc looked at 2D, conflicted. The kid had a point, but he still didn't think it was a good idea to talk about this with anyone. He couldn't, he didn't even know what they were to each other. He was worried others would just ruin it.

"Let’s..." he tried to decide how to put it. "Wait for now. If anyone asks, it was some bird that gave you those... if we continue doing more of... this, then we'll tell them okay?" He still didn't like it but he'd have to live with it for now.

"Come on." He grabbed 2D's hand on his shoulder and walked him out of the Winnebago, helping him to make sure he didn't trip down the steps.

He walked with him around Kong Studios, trying to find the other pair. Eventually they found them in Noodle's room, gaming on her TV. He dropped Stuart's hand and walked into the room.

"Hey guys, how's it going?" He asked, sitting down next to Noodle on the floor and watching her play.

"Don't bother her, Muds. She's currently on the farthest level she's ever gotten, she needs to stay focused to keep going." Murdoc frowned at Russel and looked back at 2D, signaling for him to come in.

Stuart followed him happy he was holding his hand and not pulling him by his wrist as he always did. Once he entered Noodle's room he was silent after Russel's explanation. Normally he would enter yelling and unfocusing everyone. He frowned back to Murdoc and tried to avoid Noodle so he wouldn’t disturb her. "Which game is it Russ..?" he asked sounding casual.

"It's Castlevania, it's about-" he stopped when he turned to look at 2D, seeing the giant hickey on his neck. "What the hell happened to you, D?!"

Murdoc flinched, he had hoped they would have waited at least a little longer before noticing. Even Noodle paused her game to look.

"What is that?" She asked in her broken English. Murdoc pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"That's a hickey Noods." Murdoc said in a defeated manner. "Stu and I went out to the bar last night, Stu here found a bird that likes to bite." He growled.

"Seriously Murdoc?" Russel sighed. "Why would you tell her that, man?!"

Murdoc shrugged, "She's 15. She obviously knows what a hickey is Russ."

Stuart blushed furiously when he heard Noodle. Thank God Murdoc took care of the situation for him. He only hoped that Noodle wasn’t the one to give hickeys when older. He shook his head to this thought.

"He's right Noods... I had some troubles with a bird..." he rubbed the back of his neck trying to sound convincing. He looked at Noodle "Next time I'll be more careful when picking one..." He told her with a smile, his guts twisting ‘cuz he was blatantly lying.

However, if Russel was already that mad ‘cuz he told him it was a hickey how could they explain it was Murdoc's hickey? The little girl wouldn’t understand and Russel would get even madder. Maybe it wasn’t as easy as Stuart thought it would be

Russel had no words, he didn't know what to say so he just sighed in defeat. "Well at least you two are getting along now..." Noodle smiled and nodded.

"I finish what I was telling you guys, yes?" She bounced excitedly in his seat not even waiting for an answer. "I have started an album. I want to call it 'Demon Days'. Each song will represent a confrontation with a personal demon. I have already started a few songs and was hoping for your input." She gave them a big smile, waiting for their reactions.

Russel nodded saying he liked the idea. Murdoc was actually very impressed with Noodle's musical abilities. She was 15 and already creating an album. He remembered his promise to his two Mexican friends though.

"Uh, Noods. I think it sounds fantastic. I do have a small favor to ask, love." She looked at him, a frown settling on her face. He couldn't tell if she was angry, that was the last thing he wanted. He continued.

"I just need to include in the album somewhere my two Mexican friends that helped me break out of jail. I, uh... kind of promised them..." he smiled nervously.

"Dammit, Muds... seriously?" Russel asked annoyed. Murdoc turned and growled at Russel.

"No, it might work." Noodle piped in. She looked to 2D, "Murdoc would have to sing for a song, would you mind 2D?" She asked. Murdoc's eyes went wide. ‘ _Sing?!_ ’

Stuart smiled to Noodle when she began talking excitedly and rolled his eyes to Murdoc's request, but if the owner of the album said he could do it, he could do it... To her last statement, his eyes went wide too and he smirked.

"Sing? Muds singing?" he looked at Murdoc and walked closer him wrapping his bony arm around his shoulders "Not a problem Noods, it's your album, what would he have to sing? an entire song?" he teased seeing Murdoc nervous "I'm afraid he would need some classes with me to learn how to ..." he chuckled with his cocky self appearing a bit and patting his chest.

Murdoc growled at Stuart's teasing. "I will have you know that I am a perfectly good singer, dullard!" He crossed his arms, pouting slightly.

Russel burst out laughing, "Man, you sound like two pieces of sand paper rubbing against each other. You might actually need lessons." Murdoc clenched his jaw, getting pissed.

Noodle laughed as well but shook her head. "No... It would be something related to alcohol, but we'll make it so there aren't too many lyrics. Okay Murdoc?" She smiled at him. He huffed.

She turned and walked towards the door, "Let's go to the studio, we can listen to what I have so far." Russel got up and followed Noodle. Murdoc and Stu followed a little farther behind, Murdoc still pouting.

Stuart laughed at Russel's comment... he was happy he agreed with him. "Sorry but Russ is right Muds..."

He heard what Noodle told him "Alcohol huh?" it fit Murdoc well as he was an expert. When they were already far from sight, Stuart turned and kissed his lips quickly still holding him by his shoulders

 "I'm just kidding ya tosser... I know you can sing..." He stuck his tongue outta his mouth between his tooth gap.

Murdoc's eyes widened in surprise at the sudden kiss. He huffed and crossed his arms. "Damn right I can sing." He laughed and ruffled 2D's blue hair. He was a little nervous having to sing again, something he hadn't done in years. At least he'd be able to pay back his jail buddies.

 

 

 

 

They made it to the recording studio, where Noodle started playing them bits and pieces of different songs they would need to learn and finish. She called one "Feel Good Inc.", another "Dirty Harry", and another "O Green World." There were a few others that didn't have names yet, but she was excited to start, as were they.

"These sound great Noodle. Very impressive!" Russel smiled and pat Noodles head. Murdoc nodded in agreement.

"I especially like the bass lines for some of those, Noods." He smiled. It was a promising album so far. She turned to Stuart to see what he thought.

Stuart's eyes shone with joy. He was really excited to record "Wow Noodle was really you who did all that...?" he was really impressed. When he was fifteen all he did was jerk off and watch zombie movies. The girl even needed to learn English to do all that...

 "I think we should record videos for them once we're done what do you think guys?" he looked through the lyrics having ideas "And oh we have guests too..." he read Bootie Brown's name and De La Soul. It was gonna be huge "By the way, which one is the song Muds needs to sing..?" he was curious indeed.

Noodle nodded, excited. "I thought we should get back together to make another album. We are a good team." She smiled.

They all nodded in agreement to the music videos idea. Murdoc loved music videos, he got a chance to show off his bass skills.

"I think Murdoc and his, uh, Mexican friends will go off this track." She played a small snippet of the song. "2D, you will help Murdoc with this song, yes? Not too many lyrics, you can help each other finish writing the rest of the song with those other two. It needs to represent the rise and fall of drinking alcohol. Hoe it gives you that euphoric high and then the crash with the hangover and over drinking. Make sense?" Murdoc nodded, he knew that feeling all too well. He looked to 2D to see if he was cool with the description so far.

Stuart raised a brow, Jesus Christ that girl was thrilling. He couldn’t believe she thought about all that. Gorillaz right now looked like Noodle's band... and Murdoc didn’t seem to mind. He looked at him, their bond was always strong... he was a father figure to the Japanese girl.... the singer just hoped nothing ever happened to destroy that.

Stuart nodded "Rise and fall of alcohol?" he placed a hand on his head, he definitely know the fall part "I can work with that..." he smiled to the Satanist. "Ready to sing Muds...?" he teased a bit.

Murdoc growled, "Yeah... we'll go get those other two blokes and work on this I suppose. We'll work on the other songs later? He looked at Noodle and Russ.

She nodded excitedly. "Yes. Russ and I will go work on the intro and start with some of the other songs."

Russ seemed a little suspicious. "Wow, you guys are surprisingly close all of a sudden..." he looked to 2D. "Is Murdoc holding you hostage 2D?" Murdoc huffed.

Stuart smiled to the drummer "You guys asked us to get along.. Guess we did it.." he shrugged "no he's not... he was actually very kind showing me the bird of yesterday, right Muds...?" he was getting good in lying huh? "Go there guys... we'll work on this..." he was still holding Murdoc by his shoulders but not acting suspiciously at all.

Murdoc nodded and walked out with 2D, his hands still on his shoulder. He walked them to another room where they could record. When he shut the door, he turned to 2D.

"Let me call Pedro and Carlos real quick." He gave them a quick call, telling them to get down there so they could work on this song. When he hung up the phone he looked over to 2D and smiled deviously.

"What shall we do while we wait, my little blueberry."  He stuck his tongue out playfully.

Stuart just nodded when he called... he leaned on the mixing table. Stuart smirked to him back.. "Oh I have no idea love.... Russel told me you were holding me hostage..." he chuckled and shook his head... "And I guess the bird who did this will be jealous...". He pointed to his neck and gesticulated calling him to come closer with a charming smile.

Murdoc gave a seductive growl, and smiled slyly, strutting towards 2D. When he reached Stuart, he lifted him up onto the mixing table so he was fully sitting on it. He situated himself between 2D's legs, grabbing his legs, and having them wrap around his waist. He put his face in close to 2D's, the smile still on his face.

"Or will she be? Poor thing…” he chuckled “You wanna be my little hostage, blueberry?" He chuckled and ran his fingers through 2D's hair. He leaned down and started licking his neck with his long tongue, moving from his clavicle to his jaw line.

For a moment Stuart couldn’t think "I-I wouldn’t mind Muds..." he squirmed a bit, his neck was still pretty sensitive by the others hickeys Murdoc left

He wrapped his arms around the Satanist pulling him closer. He tilted his head to the side allowing him to go further and closed his eyes... "You're such a tease.." he whispered into his ear.

Murdoc laughed, "You're not a very good hostage." He brought his hand up and put it under Stuart's chin, twisting his face towards him. He brought this thumb up and rubbed it against 2D's lips.

"Mine..." he whispered. He brought his chin up towards him and started kissing him passionately. He went back to running his hands through his blue hair. He stuck his tongue in his mouth, dancing with Stuart's. He pushed his hips up against Stuart's, groaning at the pressure.

Stuart shivered with that "Mine." he could swear he got an instantaneous boner just with that. Murdoc was insatiable when it came to the singer. He wrapped his legs around him more tightly and moaned lowly against his mouth with the friction.

Murdoc didn’t have to do much to turn him on. His hands went to the back oh his head caressing his black locks and deepening the kiss "Yours" he answered back whispering against his mouth. If he was a hostage he would never leave. The worst.

Suddenly the door opened, startling Murdoc. He shoved 2D back off of him and turned towards the door, panting hard, trying to look nonchalant.

It turned out to only be Carlos and Pedro, thankfully, but they still interrupted a good moment. He growled, his pants uncomfortably tight and now he knew he wasn't going to get any relief.

Carlos and Pedro both stopped at the door looking between 2D and Murdoc. Then the burst out laughing, after shutting the door behind them. They came up to Murdoc and both threw their arms around him.

"Heeeey, is this the little 'blue bird' you had mentioned before?" Carlos pointed to 2D.

"Man, I thought you weren't into guys, that's why we had to save you!" Pedro snorted. Murdoc frowned, looking helplessly back at 2D.

Stuart frowned. He mentioned him as little Bluebird to strangers? He smirked between pants thinking about that.

"'Ello guys..." he tried to sound a bit casual as Murdoc was helpless "I'm Stuart, you can call me 2D" he introduced himself to both man still sitting to hide his half boner. “I'm Murdoc's singer..." but they should probably know that already.

Pedro let go of Murdoc and walked over the 2D, "Hey 2D. Oh we heard plenty about you. This fucker wouldn't shut the hell up about 'his band', and 'his singer' and-" Murdoc hit him in the head to get him to shut up. Pedro was rubbing his head.

Carlos laughed, "Don't mind Pedro. He's crazy. We helped Murdoc in prison, he had, uh, caught the 'interest' of a few of the guys around prison. You should have seen it, he was cornered in the showers a few times, and he managed to charm his way out of it a few times, but that'd only get him so far. Thankfully, we came a long and saved his ass. Literally." He slapped Murdoc's ass, to which Murdoc growled, and elbowed Carlos in the ribs.

"You are here to work! Morons! 2D here is going to help us. I'm gonna be doing the vocals, you guys do the guitar and bass, just like we talked about. Yeah? Sound good?" He clenched his teeth and sat in a chair, arms folded, not looking at 2D.

Stuart's brows rose... Oh the tosser couldn’t stop talking about him. He blushed a bit to that and laughed at Pedro.

Stuart chuckled hearing his explanation... but frowned at his slap, he didn’t understand why but didn’t like it. Those guys were gonna fuck everything up in the album acting that way.

"If you all are gonna do that, what am I suppose to do Muds...?" he looked at the Satanist leaning closer the chair.

Murdoc turned to 2D, still a little angry. "You help me with vocals. It shouldn't be... anything huge lyrics wise. Something about alcohol." He got an idea. "Wait here!"

He shot up out of his chair and ran to the kitchen, praying some alcohol was in there. When he found the bottle, he kissed it in success and ran back to the room, holding it up.

"This, boys, will help us create a song about alcohol right? What could be better?" He smiled as Pedro and Carlos cheered. He looked at 2D, "You gonna be okay? I know we drank last night..."

Stuart swallowed hard when he saw the bootleg, his stomach twisting "I don’t think so, Muds.. I rather stay sober for now..." he smiled to the other two man... "You can create pretty well without me drunk..." and drunk Stuart wouldn’t be able to sing properly and he knew that.

Murdoc nodded and took the cap off the bottle and took a huge swig. He walked over to the guys and handed them the bottle.

"Your choice, Dullard." He laughed and clapped his hands together, ready to start.


	7. Celebration

Murdoc, Pedro and Carlos were all drunkenly singing in Spanish to 2D. They were hanging onto each other’s shoulders, swaying. Pedro and Carlos started playing their instruments, letting Murdoc continue singing. He was staring straight at 2D, as he walked seductively over to the man. He was using the almost empty whiskey bottle as a microphone.

When he reached 2D, he kept singing, wrapping his arm around his shoulders, and pulling him close. He kissed 2D's forehead and laughed at the end of the song.

Stuart was totally sober, he didn’t drink one drop. He was just watching the three man having fun together and eventually flirting with Murdoc.

He welcomed that hug moving along with him. His arms went to his waist. And he laughed with Murdoc when he kissed his forehead... he wanted to make out with him right now but they weren’t alone. He didn’t know any Spanish but he liked the song either way. When the song ended he pulled him closer and looked into his eyes teasing him not bothering about the other two.

Murdoc drunkenly smiled and turned to the other two, "S-See? What'd I tell you blokes? This kid has it bad for me." He slurred, turning and winking at his singer.

The other two laughed, then hooted and whistled. Suddenly, the door opened again, but Murdoc was too drunk to care who it was.

"What the hell are you guys doing in here?" Russ asked, crossing his arms and looking between Murdoc and 2D and Carlos and Pedro.

Murdoc drunkenly looked around, "We're singing mate." He smiled.

"I can see that, we can hear you down the hallway. Are you actually working on the song Noodle asked you to do?" Russ looked at 2D, as he seemed to be the only sober one.

Stuart blushed a bit bur Murdoc was right, he really had it bad for Murdoc...

Stuart flinched hearing Russel's voice 'fuck' he thought. 'how could I let this happen?'

"Er.... well, no actually... they decided to drink and I...I didn’t.... so I was taking care of the song when they began singing and... And... Now we're here..." he said blushing and letting Murdoc go from his grip. He went quickly to show what they had so far...

"We didn’t record it yet but watching them I had idea of the rise and fall Noodle mentioned, about alcohol... and created something" Stuart was really focused in the song while they were getting drunk. He looked at Murdoc "Muds told us that drunk we could really see the effects and think about something... guess he was right after all…"

He smiled to his drunk lover, leaning closer Russel not noticing his new hickeys from his most recent attack were apparent.

Russel nodded and sighed, "Good job, D. Keep that idiot in line. Let’s practice then." He went over to his drum set and got his drums ready.

Murdoc nodded with his drunk smile and went to the microphone. Pedro and Carlos grabbed their guitar and bass. The group went over the song with 2D and all he'd come up with. He was able to guide them in the direction Noodle was wanting.

"S-so you just want me to say 'White light' and... 'alcohol'? The entire song?" He slurred, holding onto his microphone stand for support. Pedro and Carlos laughed behind him.

"Should be easy for you, ese!" Pedro joked.

"Shut it!" Murdoc snarled, flipping them off.

Stuart smiled to them "that's what Noodle asked mate... her idea her song..." he shrugged. He joined the rest of the band. As there weren't any proper lyrics Stuart just worked on the melody that he thought it would fit and showed them what should sound like.

"Go on Muds I know you can do it..." he teased knowing that Noodle wouldn't ask him to properly sing.

Murdoc nodded and counted them off. When he sang into the microphone, he kept his eyes straight on 2D. He even gave him a sly smile a few times. Everyone except Russel was horribly drunk, but Murdoc thought it turned out pretty well. By the end of the song, Murdoc was slightly sweaty, mainly from nerves.

When they were done practicing Russel got up and quickly left complaining that it reeked of alcohol. Carlos and Pedro wrapped their arms around Murdoc's shoulders again, laughing and excited.

"Shall we go out to celebrate gentlemen?" Murdoc asked all three of them. "We've escaped a Mexican prison, made it all the way back to the UK, and made a song about alcohol no less. I think we should go have some fun. What do you think Dents?"

Stuart felt shivers up and down his spine... Murdoc had never sang to him as he was doing that way... it was exciting to say the least. Was all that ‘cuz he was drunk? He swallowed hard watching him. That man was stunning all sweat and wide eyed like he was.

When Russel left he knew he would have problem with those 3 drunk man... he smiled to them a bit embarrassed. "O-of course we should.." he said excitedly knowing that probably he would end up taking care of them as he was the only one sober "What you have in mind Muds...?" They were already drunk, what could possibly they still want to do? Stuart would much prefer a "party" with Muds and him into his Winnie.

The three drunkards ended up bringing Stuart to a nearby pub to continue their drinking and good times, as they'd finished that bottle at home. While at the bar, Murdoc kept 2D close to him, slinging his arm around his shoulder for a majority of the night.

"Y-you see this, Dents?" He took another quick shot of tequila before continuing. He pointed to Pedro and Carlos who were out around the pub trying to pick up women, unsuccessfully.

"T-This was like Mexico, y-ya know? Drinking, whores, drinking, having a blast, drinking. You should have come with me Stuart. W-we could have had a blast together." He slurred as he waved down a waitress for more shots.

Stuart wasn't that comfortable with that... he was really drunk and there were many people around. He was getting a bit anxious. "Yeah Muds... maybe.. " he told him not really excited fidgeting with his fingers nervously and looking down.

He didn't like whores and barely drink anything that night just watching those man getting even drunker and afraid some bird would come to Murdoc.   He tried to smile to him... his smell of booze was terrible. It was making Stuart nauseated. "Your friends aren't that luck with birds huh?" He joked Stuart wasn't good with them either. But he didn't want a woman now..  he wanted to go home.

Stuart drunk was a person him sober was another. And he promised not to drink to help Muds if he had to... like old times in Winnie. Well this time Murdoc wasn't as emotional as always at least he was happy and talkative.

Stuart knew too that he would get clingy and all that of he drank a lot... besides, to go there he had a bit more of his pills to bear the pub and everything. So it was kinda dangerous mixing everything and he didn't want Murdoc babysitting him again... he liked that bit it wasn’t fair.

He looked over to his Mexican friends and laughed, "You're right! They seem to be striking out don't they?"

Murdoc took another shot and then drunkenly fixated on 2D. He took the hand he was using around his shoulder and brought it up to play with his hair. He swirled a small lock of blue hair between his finger.

"It's so blue, Dents." He gave him a drunken smile. "It's all completely natural, eh? How'd you get away with that at school?"

Stuart blushed a bit and looked at him "I think so... when it grew blue I was surprised too..." he chuckled "I tried to shave, bleach, dye... But it didn't work... would get even bluer when it came back.." he looked down

"Well people used to mock me... and birds didn't want a blue haired freak with them..." now with fame they liked even, but when Stuart opened his mouth to speak they usually ran away. "But I didn't care.." he shrugged clearly lying "Nothing I could do about it so I lived with that..." he smiled "You like it...?" He asked softly.

Murdoc smiled devilishly, "I love it. I would have loved to have blue hair. Instead, I stuck to bring drunk and being a delinquent." He laughed.

He looked at 2D again. "You don't seem to be having as much fun celebrating. What would prefer we do Dents? Got a zombie movie or something you wanna go see?" He looked over to his two buddies who seemed to have found two girls to talk to. He looked back at 2D with another drunk smile.

"You're still drunk and still a delinquent, Muds... You were arrested..." he chuckled "You'll never learn will you?"

"No Muds... I'm okay... you wanted to celebrate... I just..." he looked at him "Got nervous and anxious around people..." he smiled embarrassed "And I don’t feel like drinking..." he looked at the other two... they seemed interested in the girls. He wanted to do what they were about to, but couldn’t tell Murdoc. He was too sober for that.

"But I'm okay Muds..." he placed a hand on is knee squeezing it and leaned even closer him. He didn’t know it Murdoc was ashamed of being with him but he acted like it was okay... so Stuart was okay...

Murdoc took another shot, "You've got a point there, Dents." He hummed, still playing with his hair and looking around. He watched Pedro and Carlos as they were busy doing their thing. He was surprised when 2D squeezed his knee and leaned in closer. He had a brilliant idea.

"Come on D. Let’s go be delinquents now." He nudged 2D to follow him, a grin spreading on his face. He got up and walked to the back where the bathroom was, not exactly waiting for 2D, but still expecting him to follow.

Stuart wobbly followed him as he was a bit less brain than limbs.. "W-where are we going Muds...?" He told leaning closer him. He thought they were about to go home or sorta. He frowned he didn't ask Murdoc to leave. He blindly followed him confused as it was really dark there...

Murdoc made sure there was no in the bathroom, then he shoved 2D into one of the stalls, closing and locking the little latch. He then pushed 2D up against the stall wall and started to aggressively kiss him. He was still incredibly drunk, so the kiss was messy and his hands were all over Stuart. Rougher than they needed to be.

Stuart helped when the older male came to him... he wasn't expecting it at all. But welcomed him with an evil grim "whoa Muds..." he said panting "Couldn't you wait till we reach home huh..?" He smirked to him pulling him closer by his waist, of course much less rougher than the bassist but wanting him as well. Murdoc tasted like tequila and something Stuart couldn't tell... bit he enjoyed a lot.

"Not when I can have a little taste here, why wait?" He purred, leaning back slightly to look at Stuart's neck. He gently touched the bite mark. The purplish bite mark with his teeth marks looked beautiful on Stuart's pale skin.

He smirked and lifted up 2D's shirt to show his thin stomach, he had 2D hold the shirt up with his mouth, partly to also keep him from being too loud.

He bent down and started playing with 2D's belly button again with his tongue, then he moved to one of his bony hips and sucked on it, giving him a hickey there. Then he moved to his other hip and did the same. He wanted to mark 2D's entire body.

2D was panting softly by the time that Murdoc had drawn away from him and he tilted his head back against the stall wall.  He made a soft noise akin to a whimper when the Satanist had reached up to touch one of his previous marks, the bluenette's stomach twisting with anticipation that there may be more to come in quick order.

As Stu's shirt lifted, the boy obeyed and caught the fabric between his teeth before tilting his head back again. He squirmed a little at the first attention to his navel and when he felt his band mate's lips on his hip he pushed his tongue against the roof of his mouth to keep himself from making noise. Stu's head dropped again to watch Murdoc mark his hips, the sight and sensation easily fueling the erection held back by his jeans.

Stuart couldn’t help but moan with those new bruises... he had never done something like that in a public bathroom.. He was too awkward to bring some bird and actually do it. Murdoc was dominating him in a way he was discovering it felt amazing.

 He closed his eyes and gently caressed his hair... as much as Murdoc loved his blue one he was infatuated with Murdoc's. Even sober he was really sensitive to his touch. His hips involuntarily went forward craving for Murdoc.

Murdoc chuckled when he felt 2D's hips come forward, his hands in his hair, he knew 2D was eager. Even sober, his singer wanted Murdoc. This made him smirk again.

He stood up, after having 2D put his shirt back down, and put his face right next to Stuart's. Their lips were nearly touching, but he didn't connect them. He wanted to tease the kid.

While doing this he undid 2D's pants, pulling his jeans and underwear down just enough to release his erection. Murdoc purred when he saw it. 2D was already leaking precum.

"My little naughty blueberry." He whispered to 2D, an evil smile on his face.

When Murdoc came closer his lips even quivered wanting a kiss.. he licked his lips staring at him.

Mesmerized by Murdoc's features and smell he didn’t even realized when he was undressed, only when he felt the relieve.

 He was already hard from earlier, Murdoc didn’t have to do much to tease him. "Muds... please..." he needed him, anything, a touch a kiss.. he just needed to feel again he was Murdoc's.

He was oozing precum like a faucet with all that teasing, just hoping he had the same effect on Murdoc. He gently ran his fingers through his black hair. "Yours..."

Murdoc grinned deviously, flashing his mouth full of sharp teeth. Nothing turned him on more than hearing 2D say he was his. He wanted to pounce on his then and there, but he didn't want to hurt the kid. He was sure he was still sore, but he'd make it fun.

He undid his own jeans and brought them down far enough for his own cock to spring out of readily. He put it right up next to 2D's and wrapped his hand around both of them. He started stroking his hand up and down.

Meanwhile, he began kissing 2D again, shoving his tongue back into his mouth, going as far back as he could with his long tongue. He was curious to see if 2D would allow him to do that.

Stuart was in love with that smile or sorta. It had a good reaction in him anytime Murdoc smirked. When he pulled them two together he gasped... it felt so good... he thanked God the music was so loud no one were hearing them hopefully.

He moaned again once Murdoc began stroking them. He decided to return the favor, Murdoc was really a tease.

He opened his mouth the best he could and let Murdoc shove him tongue into it. While he allowed him, he shifted position and pressed Murdoc against the wall, as he was taller Murdoc looked even shorter. He pressed his hips against him wanting more.

After a while he broke the kiss going to his neck, he couldn’t mark or bite properly, but he wanted to tease him and thought it was a sensitive area Murdoc had. One of his hands went to the other side of his neck to give him support while kissing. "You’re gorgeous, luv..." he complimented into his ear.

Murdoc felt them shift and suddenly he was the one with his back against the wall. With the way he positioned he had to look up more towards 2D, which he hated.

He hated feeling short, but that was soon forgotten as he felt 2D go down to his neck. He moaned out, and shivered. That was a wonderful feeling. When 2D whispered in his ear, he shuddered. He knew he was close. He tried to tell 2D between his pants.

"Stu... Stuart... I'm gonna" he bit his lip, trying to hold back a loud moan as he came. The rolling waves of pleasure made him shake and nearly collapse.

Stuart loved when he moaned ‘cuz of him... he didn’t know he could have all that power with the Satanist with just some kisses.

He kissed him once he said he was cumming making Murdoc moan against his mouth.. Stuart was almost over the edge too and hearing him say his birth name sent shivers down his spine and was what was missing for him go over the edge. The orgasm hit him hard and when he came he immediately moved to bite Murdoc's neck strongly to prevent him from moaning loud...

Not really thinking he held the Satanist by under his arms not to let him fall. This made him press Murdoc against the wall as he was hugging him. "Fuck Mu’doc... That was amazing...." he chuckled

Murdoc was breathing hard, leaning against 2D, completely exhausted. He rest his head into his singer’s neck and started laughing quietly.

"You actually bit me Dents. I like it. That felt amazing..." he didn't want to let go of 2D, he was sure his knees would give out. He wiped his hand with their cum on it on his shirt. He didn't give a fuck, smelling of cum and booze wasn't the worst thing he figured. He stalled having to move by running his other hand through 2D's hair, trying to calm down.

"Oh you liked that...?" He chuckled. Birds didn't usually like... the marks he left were odd due to his lack of teeth. "I'll do more often..." he began helping him pulling his clothes back as Murdoc was too drunk for that. He put back his own too enjoying his hand on his hair.

Soon when he managed to finish he looked at Murdoc's face lifting it a bit "think you can walk mate...?" He noticed him looking like a jelly. Was it that good? He smiled.

Murdoc gave a playful purr, "You can bite me anytime, love." He was thankful 2D was helping him out, he could only focus on petting 2D's hair at the moment with feeling like he was going to greet the floor with his face.

He looked up at Stuart as he asked him if he could walk. He bit his lip and thought about it. He tried to stand up straight but the combination of extracurricular activities in the bathroom and his intoxication, he nearly fell. He leaned back against the stall wall and started sliding down to the floor. "Leave me mate. I've spent the night in worse places." He said dramatically.

Stuart frowned "No fucking way I'm leaving you here ya git.." he pulled him By his arm and put it around his shoulders and his other arm around his waist. "C'mon Muds... I'm taking you home..." he told him firmly. " You didn't escape a bloody prison to sleep on the bathroom's floor" he chuckled hoping Murdoc wouldn't want to puke while going home. If he wasn't able to walk Stuart would carry him, the singer didn't drink to take care of him he liked it or not.

Murdoc laughed as Stu hoisted him up, "That is true, mate. But I wouldn't blame ya if ya did." They stumbled out of the bar, Murdoc getting into the passenger seat of the Geep so 2D can drive. Everything was spinning and he kept swallowing as his stomach churned.

He groaned and held his hands against his face. "Why'd you let me drink so much? Ugh, fuck. Not drinking anything except prison hooch has thrown me off my game Dents." He chuckled and pulled his hands away from his face to look at 2D. He had a goofy grin on his face.

"I let you Muds?" He chuckled "How could I prevent you from drinking...? You're a grown up man.. even older than me... should know what you're doing.." he kept his eyes on the road smiling. If he tried to take the Bottle off his hand Murdoc would have yelled and complained.

He looked at him with that goofy smile that almost remembered 2D's when he bought a new keyboard. "Just don't puke okay.. Tell me if ya need and I'll stop the jeep.." he placed a hand on his knee for a while.

Murdoc sniffed and put a hand against his forehead, closing his eyes. "A-another good point. I'd f-fuckin wale on ya if you tried, mate." Then he started laughing, "Actually I'd probably just spank ya now." He stuck his tongue out while he kept his eyes closed.

He sucked his tongue back in and frowned suddenly. "Shit, Dents. Why do you even put up with me? You could... I dunno, in your own band. Your pretty, you got the musical talent, you're a little slow at times, but fuck D."

Stuart chuckled hearing him. "Well... " he didn't have a good answer for that "I think we work better as a team... it was your dream being in a band Mu’doc... I'm just part of it." He squeezed the hand on his knee. "I wouldn't even figure out I could sing if it wasn't you, dickhead" he chuckled

"You were born to be a leader Muds I wasn't... much work and I'm too stupid for managing things... you always did that better than me anyway..." he knew he could be capable if he tried but he couldn't lose Murdoc. The truth was that he didn't want to lose Murdoc.

"I'm just a singer, mate." He smiled at him.

Murdoc waved a hand at him and scoffed, "I'm not a leader either mate. I hate responsibility. I just wanted be famous without any work." He did feel a little better when 2D squeezed his knee. Sometimes this happened when he drank. "And yes, we are the dynamic due, aren’t we? Your voice and my ... brain ... "He laughed with his mouth salivating. He was happy to be sure that Stuart, no matter how he was capable, wouldn’t give up on him or the band. Suddenly he felt sick.

"Pull... pull over Stuart.... now!!" He gagged and threw his hand over his mouth. He didn't even wait for 2D to pull over fully. He opened the car door and practically fell out. He rolled once or twice and once he felt like he wasn't rolling, he got on his knees and started hurling.

"Fuck" Stuart cursed when he fell. He tried to stop but he couldn't was just too fast for his brain. The singer got outta the jeep and kneeled next to him "Christ Mu’doc are you all right...?" He placed a hand on his back looking at him. Of course he wasn't but he didn't know what to say.

Murdoc felt like he threw up everything he'd eaten in the last year. When he had finally emptied his stomach, his body still continued to try to purge itself. His ribs started to hurt and he felt he couldn't breathe anymore.

"Fuck!" He yelled between gasps and dry heaving. Eventually, his stomach started to settle. He wiped his mouth and started shaking. He hated himself right now, more than he usually did.

Stuart stood there with Murdoc till he felt better. When he noticed Murdoc was in pain after puking he waited a bit more till he could answer him something. He wouldn’t force a sick man to stand up or anything.

He sat down and rubbed circles on his back silently. If he was drunk he would probably start puking too with that smell.

He panted and slowly turned towards 2D. "Sorry..." he whispered and turned his head back. He slowly sat up and sat on his butt. He leaned against 2D for support. He wasn't quite at the point of lying on the ground yet. He kept shaking still.

He kept staring out at the trees off the side of road. He felt horrible... about everything. "I don't know why I keep drinking... I want to get away from it all... but I have everything I've ever wanted. I wanted it so bad, I sold my soul for it... and I still want to get away from my life..." he whispered. He looked down at his hands, they were all scraped up from falling out of the car.

Stuart bit his lip. He wouldn't argue with Murdoc. "N-no problem Muds... I-I'm sorry I didn't stop the car on time.. It’s my fault.." he told him softly looking at his hands.

Stuart wrapped an arm around him feeling him shaking and rubbed his arm. He placed his head on his shoulder to calm him down. He felt like Murdoc didn't want him around too... that wanted him to get outta his life too... it hurt, he felt his eyes watering. But he acted like nothing had happened "I'll take care of you... that's okay.. I'm here..." he told him softly.

Murdoc sniffed and felt a stinging behind his eyes. He took a deep breath and swallowed, trying to push what he felt down. He wrapped his arm around Stuart and pulled him into a tight hug. He didn't say a single thing, he didn't think he could at the moment with faltering. After what felt life forever, he felt calm enough to talk.

Stuart had stayed with him, really. Seen him in the best and worst moment. He should have left Murdoc on the floor of that bathroom instead of worrying that he almost killed himself by jumping out of the Jeep.

But the boy was calm, placid, didn’t raise his voice or quarreled with him, he seemed genuinely concerned and for this the heart of the Satanist wasn’t ready for. He was much more caring and loving than he was accustomed to people being with him. Stuart was supposed to be just an easy fuck, but he could see how much he really was patient to cope with his shit. "I think I got blood on your shirt..." he whispered.

Stuart held him close as long as he wanted "I don't care, Muds... You're hurt..." he whispered back hiding his face on his shoulder. "Fuck mate... how am I suppose to manage my own band if I can't even stop a bloody car...? I'm so fucking stupid I'm sorry..." he wished that hug never ended. He closed his eyes tight not to cry.

Murdoc was quiet for a moment, then he started laughing. "Shit, 2D, we're both fucked aren't we? That's why our 15 year old guitarist is in charge of this bloody album." He kept laughing and hugging Stu.

He brought a hand up to 2D's hair and pulled him closer, turning and kissing the side of his head by his ear. "Sorry I smell like vomit." He groaned. "Ugh, now I smell like vomit, cum, alcohol and blood. This is probably the worse I could smell." He chuckled.

Stuart chuckled "Yes we are mate..." he could just agree. "That's okay... without the jizz part I've seeing you smelling badly sometimes in life already..."  he would have already taken care of Murdoc when he was hurt due to a fall, drunk and had puked in the Winnie some nights... probably he didn't remember.

He hugged him back. "I'll take care of you when we reach home..." he whispered to him. Of course Murdoc wouldn't accept any help but he felt like saying that.

Murdoc just nodded. He slowly got up with 2D helping him back into the Geep. He was still shaky and unstable, with the newly scraped knees, shoulders and hands. He held onto 2D's hand on the way home, but didn't look at him. He was too embarrassed about his breakdown in front of 2D. He knew he'd done that before, but it was usually before he threw up and could remember it all.

When they finally made it home, he opened the car door and slowly stood up. He hissed from his scrapes and his bruised ribs.

Stuart parked the car and went outta it going next to Murdoc if he needed any help. He glanced down and offered him his arms to lean on while walking. He knew how Murdoc didn't like pity but he was really hurt. The bandage on his shoulder again bleeding "You think a shower is a good idea Muds...?" He asked softly leaning closer.

Murdoc slowly nodded, "Yeah... a shower sounds bloody amazing." He walked slowly towards the Winnie, grimacing nearly every step. He wasn't going to ask for help, that was the last thing he would ever do. He was too proud for that.

When he finally made it into his Winnie, he flopped onto one of the hench seats, growling and clenching his teeth. He just needed to make it to the shower. He thought about how he could use a drink right now, but slightly feeling sick from the thought.

Stuart sighed noticing Murdoc wouldn't ask for help. "I'll grab you some clean clothes and a towel..." he told him trying to help the best he could. He looked at the first aid kit and hesitated biting his lip. He was really unsure of what to do now... Murdoc looked miserable. He still had some of his painkillers that he would offer him. "I-if you need anything just call me.." he whispered as not to bother

Murdoc looked towards the shower and bit hid lip. Then he looked back at 2D, who looked upset. He wasn't sure if it was because of him or something else. He was aching all over, he decided it wasn't worth his pride.

"2D? You uh.... want to, um, help me out? I'm bleeding like a stuck pig over here." He looked at 2D's feet trying to give an unconvincing laugh, he couldn't really look directly at him. This was all his own fault, he didn't think he really deserved the help, especially since 2D had helped him earlier.

Stuart smiled to him warmly once he asked for help. he found cute the way he was embarrassed to ask for help. "Sure Muds..." he leaned closer. "What you need help with.?" he kept with the same warm smile as "don’t hesitate to ask". Stuart chose not to start doing things without Murdoc's acknowledgement. He placed the towel and his clothes on his bed and headed with him to the bathroom.

When they got to the bathroom, Murdoc gingerly began taking off his clothes, asking for a little help from 2D. He was all bruised and scraped up, his palms, knees and shoulders being the worst. He saw himself in the mirror and laughed.

"Looks like I was in a scrap. It'd be better than saying I ate asphalt." He smiled. His ribs still felt bruised from throwing up so the laugh hurt a bit. He swallowed and stepped into his shower, turning it on and leaning with his head against the wall, letting the water run down and wash the blood off of him. He didn't feel like moving.

Stuart couldn't really laugh at his jokes, he was terrible and made only Stuart be worried about him. The singer knew when he was forcing jokes not to feel it was that bad. But he fell from a bloody car.

He followed him silently aware to do anything he needed. He did just like Murdoc watching from the outside. Those cuts must be hurting like hell.

"I'm here if you need anything, Muds." He whispered not to make him angry and hesitantly kissed his cheek. He thought he needed some comfort that wasn’t sex. Show that he would stay there even if it all was just Murdoc's fault.

And well his face was one of the only places not totally bruised. He sat down on the toilet and tried to control himself.

Murdoc smiles for a moment when Stuart kissed his cheek. He then stood in the shower for a bit, he tried lifting his arms to wipe off all the rocks, dirt and blood off him but it hurt too much. He growled in frustration.

"Uh, Dents..." he started but then changed his mind. "Nevermind..." he couldn't ask 2D to help him in the bloody shower, that'd be ridiculous. He assumed the kid wouldn't want to spend his time with him like that. He just hoped the pressure from the water would clean it off.

"This is bloody sad." He whispered to himself. He was damn near 40. He shouldn't be rolling out of cars anymore to throw up from being too drunk.

Stuart put his head inside the shower to see him "What's sad Muds.?" dense as always he didn’t get what he meant.

He bit his lip noticing how the water on the floor was red.. How he was hurt. It made his chest ache. Murdoc once told him that the first shower he took after the second accident he was bleeding severely and the water was red just like that.

He wanted to reach for him, help in anyway, but thought that at least listen he could, so Murdoc wouldn’t feel so alone. Stuart knew what was to be in pain and alone. "Need help?" he whispered trying to be a bit more useful.

Murdoc ignored 2D asking him what was sad. He didn't want to go into that right now. He already had his pity party with Stu, he didn't want another just yet. He'd save it for another time.

"Yeah..." Murdoc grumbled and sighed when 2D asked if he needed help. He kept his head against the wall. "Sorry Stu..." he whispered. He did like how willing the kid was to help him. He'd never had someone around him like that before. Usually the people he hung out with would have left him on the bathroom floor earlier so it was a pleasant change at least.

"Can you just... help me get these bloody rocks off me where I ate road?" He asked. "Grab something to help me scrape them off, yeah?"

"You don’t need to be sorry, I'm here to help too." He told him with a smile. What he really meant was 'I’m not here just for sex you moron' but he couldn’t say that. Murdoc would understand by his actions.

"Scrape...? he took off his shirt. "I would use a towel for that but..." he told him gently rubbing the material of his shirt against Murdoc's skin to take off the rocks "This might sting a bit... I'm sorry.." he whispered still feeling guilty he rolled the asphalt ‘cuz he didn’t stop the car on time.

While the rocks fell much more blood appeared. Stuart would be screaming and crying in his place, but Murdoc was much stronger than him for pain.

Murdoc grunted and clenched his teeth as Stuart got the rocks out of his scrapes. He swore a few times, nearly telling 2D to fuck off, but he knew this needed to be done and he didn't want to actually yell at the boy.

When Stuart had finished, he was aching all over but he knew he'd have less trouble with his scrapes healing now. He turned to 2D, giving him an exhausted smile.

"Thanks Stuart." He was really glad the kid was here with him. He shut off the shower and gingerly walked to his bed, flopping down on it. He didn't care if he was naked or still slightly bleeding, he wanted to lay down. He pat the bed next to him for Stu to sit or lay down if he wanted. It felt so good to lay down, he never thought he would appreciate his bed as much as he did at this moment.

"Anytime..." He smiled at him back. Stuart stood without his shirt as it was wet and followed Murdoc. He looked at him for a moment, bleeding and wet, but safe. he was home and he was safe, not laying in a gross public's bathroom floor.

He swallowed hard and sat next to him, lovingly smiling, but there was a bit of pain in his smirk. He felt bad Murdoc was hurt but wouldn’t tell him anything. He placed his hand on his face caressing it and looking into his eyes. He wasn’t there just for sex definitely.

"I like when you call me by my real name y'know that...?" he tried to avoid the topic of pain and the accident.

Murdoc smiled when 2D touched his face, looking into his black eyes. It was so nice, he eventually closed his eyes and just enjoyed it. The kid had delicate hands that felt so nice and gentle, this actually surprised Murdoc cause he was usually so clumsy.

He chuckled when 2D told him he liked when he called him Stuart. "I knew you back when you were still Stuart. The other two don't. It's kind of nice to be able to call you by your original name and being the only one who does." He remembered back to taking care of comatose Stuart. He'd gotten to the point where he had starting talking to the vegetable just so it didn't seem so odd. Would say his name all the time.

Stuart chuckled too going to his hair to caress a bit. it was wet and he liked it. "I like the sound of your voice calling me, Muds... especially when you put my before.." He confessed mesmerized by his hair. Stuart wasn’t good with pet names and he thought Murdoc actually didn’t like them, so Muds was just perfect for him.

His heart was racing and his face flushed a bit. He knew he was much more than just his singer... or at least he wanted to be. "And yeah, only you are allowed to do that.." he agreed sounding terribly fond.

Murdoc hummed as 2D touched his hair. "You like that huh? My Stuart? My Bluebird, my blueberry, my singer. I could keep going forever." He laughed. He brought his hand up and put it over the top of 2D's hand. He nuzzled into 2D's hand a bit, smiling. He could feel himself start to drift in and out of sleep now. He was sore but he felt okay, especially with 2D here.

Stuart blushed a bit... "Yeah just like that.." he noticed he was almost sleeping...

"Well I think I should be going..." he didn’t know if Murdoc would be fine with just sleeping with him without sex. Stuart was used to people staying with him just for shagging, he thought Murdoc might me like that too and he didn’t want to bother. But his voice sounded sad even knowing he had already done enough for him. "I-l'll let you rest..." he whispered really not wanting to leave.

Murdoc heard 2D say he was going to go and he squeezed his hand he was holding on to. "Might as well stay here dullard." He said, sounding exhausted. "We're already laying here. Come on." He pulled the kid closer by the arm and put his head against his chest. He normally wouldn't get this snuggly with anyone but he was feeling good and comfortable with the kid. He just hoped he didn't mind, especially since he was kind of wet, and naked.

"Thanks again dullard." He mumbled, his eyelids getting heavier.

Stuart felt his heart racing a bit more when Murdoc pulled him and rested his head on his chest. He wasn’t expecting all this clinginess but he welcomed it. He held him close and kissed the top of his head... the singer didn’t mind if he was wet and sore.

"You're welcome, Muds..." he whispered to him "G'night love...." he slipped the word as he felt so happy he didn’t have to shag to lay down with him, a little smile fluttering in this thin lips.


	8. Top

It turned out that Murdoc and 2D got a little closer over the course of the album. Murdoc brought his little Bluebird to his Winnebago often, with Murdoc sometimes going to 2D's room. They shagged like rabbits. Murdoc loved fucking Stuart, he was so responsive and they fit well together, he couldn't get enough of him.

The little bastard was still cheeky to Murdoc in front of the other two, but he let it go if it didn't get too bad. 2D usually made it up to him later anyways. Murdoc still wasn't completely comfortable letting anyone else know about their relationship, he preferred to keep it to themselves and keep it less complicated.

Murdoc was pulling 2D back into his Winnebago after they had all just wrapped up finishing the album. Now they needed to start work on the music videos soon, which they were all excited to start talking about soon.

When they got into his Winnie, he pushed 2D against one of the walls and started making out with 2D passionately. He was in a good mood and he wanted to fuck.

Stuart was happy about how things were going between them. The only thing that bothered him was the fact they couldn't tell anyone and it had already started to show it was a difficult task the way they were close and sweet with each other.

Well for the videos he was really excited... they would record in a desert and it made him a bit anxious, dealing with children too but he didn't mind. It would be awesome.

Murdoc like always wanted to fuck... Stuart usually was in the mood too and they get on pretty well in this part. Even if he wanted a bit more than just sex.

This time he wasn't exact in the mood, they needed to deal about things related to Gorillaz videos and he had an awful headache. Besides his neck was covered in bruises that were actually hurting a bit. He kissed him back but not with the same intensity hoping he would notice he didn't want him that hour and hoping he wouldn't get mad at him. "Muds..." he called him between kisses.

Murdoc heard 2D say his name and noticed the boy wasn't as enthusiastic. He reluctantly stopped kissing him and looked up at Stu. He kept his hands on his singer’s hips. "What's up Stu? What's wrong?"

"I-I just don't feel like it right now Muds..." he bit his lip "Me head hurts and Noodle asked us about the videos... I actually wanted to think about them... and cuddle with you... if you don't mind..." he told him with a smile, his hands still around his shoulders. He knew it wasn't something common for them just cuddle... but he asked anyway. Sex was good knowing Murdoc wasn't shagging other people too... but it wasn’t all. He just hoped he wouldn't get mad. Was the first time he was denying sex when Murdoc clearly wanted.

Murdoc was taken aback. He brought hands off 2D's hips for a second, afraid 2D thought he was touching him too much. He was a little embarrassed by being overexcited and not noticing Stu's mood.

"Uh... oh... sorry Stu." He cleared his throat trying to hide his embarrassment. He gave 2D a small smile. "Y-yeah, of course. We can do that if you'd prefer. Just give me a minute." He tugged on his jeans trying to get rid of the hard on he had.

He gestured for 2D to lead the way so Murdoc could follow him. He wasn't very familiar with how to just cuddle, so he hoped 2D would help him out a bit and guide him where he wanted him.

Stuart smiled excitedly Murdoc didn't get mad at him! He was shinning with joy... maybe things were getting a bit serious now... no ... it was all in his head.

Stuart easily get rid of his erection too. It wasn’t difficult ‘cuz he was in pain but he eventually did it. He sat down at the table a bit unsure of what to do but he was the one who asked ir first.

"Noodle asked us about 4 videos we could record as demon days is a huge success... "He told him excitedly "Are the ones for _Feel Good Inc_ , _Dirty Harry_ _El Mañana_ and _Dare_.... and I wanted to share my ideas with you .." he told him shyly "Noodle wants a video for herself... actually 2. Did she tell you that?" Their little girl was growing up quickly... but her idea sounded good.

Murdoc sat down next to Stuart, his elbow on the table and his head in his hand. He was at towards Stu listening to him talk.

"Yeah, it should be fun, and it'll be easy to have her in most of them. That just leaves me to stand and look pretty." He smirked.  "I'm curious how she wants to do Dirty Harry. It looks like you are going to be singing to a bunch of snotty kids... with no shirt on... in the desert..." he snorted. "You're gonna fry kid." He tapped the fingers on his other hand against the table, smiling at 2D.

"I'm excited for that... even to fry.. I’ve never recorded shirtless.." he chuckled fidgeting nervously "I hope the kids just like me..." he shrugged "besides Noodle I've never been around others..." he hoped they just didn't freak out ‘cuz of Murdoc. "You'll have to be in a tank with her and Russel... in your 'nazi-soldier' outfit.. You'll melt.." he chuckled.

Murdoc smirked and nudged 2D, "I'll look pretty fucking hot melting though. And it's not quite nazi, Russel shut that down a while ago, now it's just a soldier uniform. Either way I look pretty fucking hot." He winked.

"And besides, you'll be fine. You're fun. The kids will love ya. I'm sure they'll sing with ya just fine, Stu." He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a puff. He smirked.

"What are your thoughts on the feel good video?"

Stuart fidget a little. sure Murdoc would look hot, of course he would have to take care not to stare at him while recording.

"Can I have a fag, mate. .?" He asked looking down. "As Noodle is in charge now... or kinda... she wants to make the record in two places... on her floating island, just like she wants to do with _El Mañana_... and another take inside with you me and Russel... but as she says in Feel Good, she wants me and you to get wasted with a bunch of birds... Russel will be with his drums and De La Soul would take part in it." He sounded a bit jealous. "I think it's gonna be cool I mean have you seen that island? It's amazing..."

Murdoc smiled and took the cigarette he lit out of his mouth and placed it in 2D's. He grabbed another cigarette and lit it for himself. He loved the kid’s enthusiasm.

"Yeah, it sounds pretty fun, actually. I wanna rise from the floor with my bass. It'll look pretty fucking awesome." He gave him a devilish smile. He was kind of excited to have a music video where he got to show off a bit. Plus getting wasted with birds usually never ended horribly, although he wasn't necessarily interested in shagging any of them. He could sense the hint of jealousy in 2D's voice, he thought it was cute.

He nodded as he flicked the ash off his cigarette, agreeing with 2D about his comments on the island, "it is pretty awesome. It's gorgeous and peaceful to sit up there."

"Bet they can do something about you rising up.. Like an effect or sorta..." he cracked a small smile "I forgot how you like to show off Muds... Noodle would have you plenty opportunities... so I guess you agree with her ideas of video right...?" He leaned a bit closer him. "Yeah I like that windmill... and she looks so tiny from up there..." he chuckled "our little girl... who now knows how to speak in English and what are hickies..." he laughed a bit louder and snorted. Even his laugh was awkward.

He looked at Murdoc "Thanks for... hearing me... even my head hurts a bit less... I guess I was thinking too much..." he gave him one of his warmest smiles.

Murdoc blushes slightly from 2D's smile. He turned away to hide it and smoked his cigarette. He was getting weaker to the kids smiles.

"Uh, yeah, I think her ideas are great. She turned out alright." He was actually incredibly amazed by her. She never put up with anyone’s shit and could take care of herself. He thought she was pretty cool, but he wasn't going to openly admit that.

Well I'm glad to hear you're feeling better Dents. I know your headaches are rough." He puffed on the cigarette and flicked more ash into his ashtray. He flashed the kid a quick smile.

"She reminds me of you in some ways..." he told him softly smoking his fag.

"It's better thanks to you..." he whispered to him trying to sound a bit romantic blushing and laying on his shoulder, of course he noticed how Murdoc blushed... it was cute and he was glad he could have this effect on him.

 "Sometimes all the fame and stuff just stresses me out... doesn’t it happen to you too mate...?" Sometimes Stuart thought that maybe that sex thing they had was just a way to release all the stress while the band went. He thought Murdoc should be doing the same with random birds when he wasn't the one. However, he was terribly attaching himself to Murdoc much more than he thought he should.

Murdoc laughed, "yeah, but I think she's even tougher than I am. Hell, she is tougher." He felt 2D lay his head on his shoulder. A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. He wasn't sure when the hell he got so cozy with 2D, but he was definitely getting used to it.

"Nah, I don't think it stresses me out. It's more the thought of fading away after getting a taste of this success that stresses me out." He inhaled and exhaled slowly. He couldn't just flat out admit he couldn't lose any of his band mates, but he knew he did miss them over the last couple years he'd been gone.

He snorted, "And you know how I distress myself, my little blueberry, alcohol and sex. Always seems to work." He reached his hand up to run it through 2D's hair. He had actually found that doing that was quite relaxing as well.

"Well alcohol had lead you to some accidents before, Muds..." he remember the time he fell from the car, there were another times Murdoc drank too much and screwed everything up while they recorded demon days.

Stuart closed his eyes pulling his both legs on his lap pulling the chair closer the Satanist. "I just hope nothing bad happens to her when we're apart y’know? She’s the youngest of us..." he told him in a whisper and curled in a ball. See? Isn’t that difficult cuddling with Stu-pot.

He chuckled "I lived stressed while at the funfair, and my work wasn’t that stressing.... I guess it was ‘cuz I didn’t have you around..." he whispered again smiling.

Sometimes the singer didn’t need booze or sex or his pills to relax, he was pretty well jus laying on his chest. He hoped Murdoc felt the same. He learned to say those sweet things not drunk too.

Murdoc wrapped his arm entirely around 2D, using his other hand to flick the ash from his almost finished cigarette.

"Eh... alcohol is still good." He chuckled. He knew he could never stop drinking, so he just accepted his dependent fate with it.

He clenched his jaw at 2D discussing Noodle. He hadn't told anyone about the recent issues he'd been having with the head of their record label, Jimmy Manson. The 3 foot guy bent on becoming a part of Gorillaz. He kept harassing Murdoc to get rid of Noodle and let him join the band as their guitarist. There was no way he was going to do that, but the guy was persistent... and annoying. He'd deal with him... somehow...

He rubbed Stuart's back, welcoming the distraction from his problem, smiling at how sappy the kid sounded. He liked being the center of attention with him.

He laughed, "Well it was pretty lonely without you too, Bluebird..."

Stuart smiled, not noticing he was a bit tense for a moment. He told about Noodle absentmindedly, wasn’t thinking about anything serious. He got rid of his cigarette too.

"Well think we managed to solve this loneliness problem right?" he chuckled. "I'm happy to be with you and these last weeks had been the best..." he couldn’t help but keep smiling. "We have a full album recorded, tons of interviews and shows ahead.. And videos... God I love all that." he wanted to tell he loved that Murdoc was with him all this time, but it was a bit too much.

He lift his head looking into his eyes "Thank you Muds for..." he thought for a second "everything." and showed his gap smile. The singer never thought they would get on that well, guess he was surprised with all that happening

Murdoc rolled his eyes playfully. "Sweet Satan,  2D, don't be so sweet, you'll rot my teeth. They're already bad as it is." He laughed and ruffled 2D's hair. He still wasn't completely comfortable with 2D being so kind to him, but he was slowly learning how to react to it. He'd never had to deal with that before, no one ever got to that point with him. He really liked it, but he wasn't sure how to show it except through sex or teasing.

As he ran his hand through 2D's hair again, he thought about how it'd gone for them so far. He had had a blast with 2D so far and he'd was actually interested to see where it'd go from here. He did enjoy interviews and the videos. He prayed he wouldn't ruin it. He looked down at 2D. "I suppose... I could say... thanks too, Dents..." he rolled his eyes at how hard it was for him to say that.

Stuart just smiled hearing that. He would do all again to have him back. In the end he could manage to do something good for the Satanist at least. "I can’t help... you made me soft like this, ya sod..." for some reason Stuart was even sweeter than usual,

He just hoped he could show him he deserved all this good treatment. That he could have much more than just sex. "But I can try to be more...bitter if you want." he chuckled and looked into his eyes "May I kiss you Muds? Or your teeth are gonna rot with cavities..?" he chuckled.

In moments like that he really thought Murdoc had a heart, a big dumb and made of butter one. That he could easily melt... even seeing him in his lows, angry, grumpy in a bad mood Stuart knew they both needed each other.

Murdoc looked at Stuart and gulped when he asked him if he could kiss him. This was also another thing he wasn't quite used to. He was more used to people taking action rather than asking him for permission and he'd just go along with it. Stuart was always good about asking and he got embarrassed from how sweet it was every time.

"Uh... ha, I guess that's a chance I'll have to take.... You don't have to ask for permission every time Stu." He chuckled nervously. He both hated and loved how the kid made him so nervous. It threw him off his game, made him unprepared.

He looked confused.. He was just joking a bit. "Y-you ask me for permission too sometimes and... well. I thought I could do the same with you... besides I don’t want to do anything that make you uncomfortable ... I know we're nothing serious but.." he bit his lip and looked down. It hurt to say.

Deep inside Stu was still the same hesitant and unsure lad he always been, especially towards Murdoc. He didn’t want to make him angry in any way. He always put his heart in all he did and this wasn’t different. He leaned closer him and kissed Murdoc sweetly to prevent him from saying anything stupid.

Murdoc kissed him but then stopped for a second. "Yeah, but at this point Stu, I'd probably let you do anything you wanted to me. I appreciate you asking, but like I said, if you become any sweeter, it might literally kill me." He laughed and went back in to kiss him.

Stuart laughed a bit. "So I’ll get bitter so I won’t lose you..." he joked back nuzzling his face on his chest. He stopped for a moment, his damaged brain processing what he was told. "Anything...?" he repeated looking at him and smiled.

Murdoc's eyebrow went up at 2D's question. "Uh... yeah... anything, I suppose. Unless you wanted to kill me or something. Might have to draw a line there. It's only fair though I do what you wanted considering all the stuff you've let me do to you Dents" He chuckled and winked at the kid. He ran his fingers through his hair as he waited to see what the boy thought of. Couldn't be that bad right? Not like Murdoc hadn't done a lot of crazy shit as it is already. He kissed the top of 2D's head.

"Oh Jesus Christ Mu’doc stop talking about killing... no one's gonna murder no one here..." he frowned but than his face softened to that kiss. Murdoc was really sweet when he wanted. He smiled.

 He looked down for a moment thinking.... "L-Let me top you.." he looked into his eyes thinking that was the worst idea ever. "I know we've been shagging and I-I love when you fuck me but..." he bit his lip. "I was wondering about that too..."

Murdoc's eyes shot up in surprise. That was one of the last things he ever thought 2D would ask him. It was a pleasant surprise nonetheless. He bit his lip as his heart started to beat faster, his breathing quickened. He was excited at the idea.

"Uh... s-sure Stu. If you really wanted. I, uh, haven't bottomed in a while." He laughed nervously, he could feel a blush crossing his face. He didn't mind bottoming at all, but he was a little nervous that it wouldn't live up to 2D's expectations with Murdoc. He hoped he could make it good for 2D.

"A-re you really sure..? I know you said anything but... you can say if you don’t want to..." he couldn’t help but feel excited too.

He was afraid Murdoc would hate him for life if he did it wrong. Stuart actually wanted to know if he could be good in it, and as their relationship was sex based, he thought he could conquer him in bed or show him he was capable of doing that right.

He took a deep breath "Well if it's gonna be a first experience for me I really wish it was with you, Muds.." he told him sincerely bowing his head in shame.

Murdoc smiled, "Stu, of course it's fine! Truly! I'm sure you'll do fine." He ran his hand through his hair hoping he was convincing. He really did think the kid would be fine.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. And I do truly mean anything." He put his hand under Stuart's chin and lifted it up to look at him.

"Come on my little blueberry. Where's that cocky little attitude you usually give me? That Stuart would top me in a heartbeat. Don't be afraid Stu, believe me. I'll do whatever you want, love." He smiled deviously

Murdoc talking to him that way gave Stuart the confidence he needed back. After so much time together with the Satanist again, he came back to his old self but this time he wasn’t mistreated anymore, he just wanted to be cared and looked after by Murdoc. He bit his lip hearing him that soft...

He managed to find his cockiness somewhere inside him and went forward and kissed him hard wrapping his bony arms around his waist and pulling him to sit on his lap with his legs spread. He did that so fast the chair Murdoc was sitting fell on the floor.

Murdoc was so surprised by the sudden confidence of his singer, that when he was pulled into his lap and kissed, he chuckled between kisses. He liked this Stuart so much, he immediately got a hard on, his pants feeling tight.

He wrapped his arms around Stu, getting comfortable. He rocked his hips into him slightly, trying to find any relief, moaning quietly as they kissed. He paused for a moment to whisper in 2D's ear.

"I want you to fuck me Stu." He used his long tongue to lick 2D's ear. He knew if he turned him on hard enough, 2D wouldn't second guess anything.

Fuck that was it. Murdoc said what he wanted... But as Murdoc was really caring and sweet in the beginning, he would do the same for him. He smiled and shivered with that tongue. He wanted Murdoc moaning, not laughing exactly.

He got turned on with just a kiss? It had happened before but this time he felt it was different. "I'll do what you want, luv... hold onto me.." he lifted him from the seat dragging him to his bed...

He looked at Murdoc before he smiled deviously and began stripping in front of him keeping Murdoc dressed. "Do what I say and I'll fuck you just like you want..."

Murdoc smirked as Stuart lifted him. He hardly ever got carried. He held onto his singer tightly kissing his jawline on the way over to his bed.

When Stu put him down and started undressing, he started fidgeting and panting slightly. His pants were becoming incredibly uncomfortable. He swallowed.

"I'll do whatever you say, love." He stuck his tongue out playfully.

Having Murdoc this obeying mood was something Stuart definitely wasn’t used to, but he decided he would be dominating yet softly at the same time. He crawled on him totally naked and his black normal orbs turned white with so much he was feeling.

He slid his fingers under Murdoc's shirt and lifted it to take it off... "Good boy."

Stuart stranded on him once he was shirtless and started to kiss him all over, eventually bite here and there, he knew his teeth wasn’t made for that but Murdoc seemed to enjoy.

Murdoc's eyes widen in surprise when his eyes turned white. He hadn't seen it happen often, although he knew it happened. He laid back and let 2D get ontop of him.

He swallowed hard when 2D told him good boy. Fuck, he liked that. He tried lifting his hips and pushing his hard on into Stuart. His jeans were starting to become painfully uncomfortable. 2D's light kisses and bites only made it worse. He loved how odd his bites felt with the missing teeth. He liked it. He brought his hands up and put them in 2D's hair, gently holding onto him. He whimpered, "Stuart... please." He bit his lip.

Did Murdoc really begged? It sounded like music for his ears. In life was really difficult for him say “please”, “thank you” and “sorry”. It was so easy now...

Stuart was about his waistline when he heard his please. "Of course love..." he  unbuckled his belt and opened his fly finally releasing his aching cock and pulling his trousers roughly throwing them away. The singer engulfed him all at once, as Murdoc was a good boy and asked politely for that.

To release a bit of his adrenaline he dig his tiny nails into his thighs scratching a bit too much as he wanted to mark him, and he didn’t have teeth for that. He spread his in an obscene way, trying to do a wet and slow blowjob. Well at least his lack of teeth helped that.

He needed to thank Murdoc for all the times he did it for him.

After a while, he released him with a loud pop, drool falling from his chin "You should see yourself right now Muds... bloody gorgeous squirming for me..." he smiled deviously again.

Murdoc had never been so relieved to have his dick released. It sprung itself out as 2D pulled his jeans off. He moaned as 2D took him in, his hands going from clenching the sheets to holding onto Stuart's hair.

When he had started digging his nails into his thighs, he threw his head back, throwing out a grunt from the mixture of pleasure and pain. He loved pain during sex. He kept squirming as 2D gave him a sloppy blowjob. He kept peaking at his singer, thinking about how beautiful he looked with a mouth full of his dick, drool coming from his mouth. He wished he could take a picture of that right now.

He bit his lip and kept squirmed more, he wasn't sure how much more he could take at the moment. He blushed when 2D called him gorgeous for squirming. He was breathing hard and couldn't think straight. "Holy fuck Stu..." he panted.

Stuart remembered all the times Murdoc was gentle with him, the times he complimented him while in sex, his touch, and his care. He wanted to return all that to him. Soon he stopped sucking him noticing he was close to cum.

"Muds you want me already or want me to stretch you before...?" he asked with all the care he could. Murdoc told him there was a while he didn’t bottom.

He found the lube laying under the bed, as Murdoc always kept it there. He smiled to him a bit less deviously leaning closer to kiss his neck while his hand kept stroking the Satanist... "Tell me luv.." he whispered into his ear.

Murdoc shivered when 2D whispered in his ear. He put his hands over his face. He wanted 2D now but he knew he needed to be prepared just a little or it was going to be too painful and that wasn't the kind of pain he wanted.

Usually, the few times he bottomed, he always prepared himself. He trusted 2D to do it this time, however. He just knew he needed to say it. He gulped.

"You, uh... can stretch me out a bit before." He murmured, biting his lip in embarrassment. He never thought he'd ever be saying that to 2D.

Stuart smiled to him, Murdoc was so... cute even right about to be fucked. "All right, luv.." he wet his three fingers and pressed one inside him "Spread your legs for me babe..." he said into his ear again, staying close to see his reaction...

To be gentle he laid next to him resting his head on his elbow and looking at him with those white eyes. He pulled him closer before began fingering him.

Murdoc did as he said, he could feel his face become red and warm. He was breathing harder, his heart fluttering. He bit his lip and arched his back slightly at 2D put a finger in him. He almost forgot the feeling, it'd been a while.

He couldn't look directly at 2D, being completely embarrassed at how vulnerable he was all of a sudden. Stuart looked so amazing and confident; it really threw Murdoc off, but in a good way.

Stuart smiled at him when his back ached, that was really what he wanted. Murdoc begging, vulnerable, only for him, no one else. He smirked allowing himself to be a little possessive. 

He went back to his ear once again "Don't be shy love... I want to see this pretty face of yours..." he pressed a second finger "I want to hear the sweet sounds you make..." he nibbled his ear and held him even closer, being more confident than ever.

With his free hand he grabbed the Satanist's and placed it on his cock "Touch me Muds... is this cock that will fuck you.." he chuckled kissing under his ear and scissoring him

Murdoc gulped as 2D guided his hand down to his cock. He obediently started stroking 2D. His heart was racing so fast, he was sure his singer could hear it.

He arched his back again as Stuart stretched him out. He hadn't expected 2D to be like this at all. It was a huge turn on and it made him want to obey him. He turned his head towards his singer a little more, trying to keep his eyes on Stuart's as he moaned. This proved to be difficult for him. He kept looking away.

"Fuck, Stu. I wanna cum..." he whined. It was becoming too much, he reached his other hand down to touch himself, he could feel himself leaking precum in anticipation.

Stuart frowned to that hand "No..." he moved quickly to be on top of the bassist and took off his hand of himself, quickly lubbing himself in the process...

"You’ll cum when I tell you to. I didn’t tell you to touch yourself" he said a bit more seriously frowning and positioning himself at his entrance. "Ready to be mine, luv...?" he said lastly looking into his eyes and admiring how he was totally red and vulnerable.

Murdoc Niccals only for him. He would never forget this.

Stuart could have cum right there without even being inside Murdoc. But he began pressing himself into him.

Murdoc whimpered when he wouldn't let him touch himself, but when Stu told him he'd cum when he said he obeyed and took his hands back.

He nodded quickly as Stu situated himself above him. He looked straight at 2D, "I-I'm yours Stu..." he panted. Dominating Stu made him completely weak. He would do whatever the man wanted, he was complete putty in his hands, slightly embarrassed with himself.

He gritted his teeth as Stuart slowly pushed into him. He was bigger than he thought. He gripped the sheets beneath him, grunting a few times, trying to relax.

Stuart quickly noticed he was having a hard time, he took off his legs from his shoulders noticing he was really under his power.

When he heard he Murdoc was his, Stuart wanted to slam inside him all at once mercilessly. But he couldn’t do that with someone he cared so much, so he gently pushed him inside while he kissed him, whispering into his ear sweet nothings interlaced with low moans and bites… eventually he was fully into Murdoc and if felt really amazing.

Stuart held him close and pulled off to see his face.

"Is it good Muds...?" his eyes were black once again since the time Murdoc told him he belonged to the singer. He brushed a bit some locks of his fringe so he could look at him better resting his hand on his face.

Murdoc was panting and shivering. Stu whispering to him while pushing into him had made his heart flutter as a warmth radiated from his chest. It was almost overwhelming, so he wrapped his arms around Stuart's neck.

When he pulled away, he loosened his grip and looked at his singer. His face was incredibly red. When Stuart pushed some of his hair out of the way, he leaned his face into the touch, smiling.

"See, Stu?" He said between pants. "I told you, you could do it. I'm good. Not fantastic, but I did it too... I can tell you I've never been fucked like this." He laughed.

Stuart smiled to him but the way he sounded made him a bit hurt... "Muds..." he wasn't sure of what to say "You're not fantastic ‘cuz you let me fuck you... you're fantastic ‘cuz of what you mean to me..." he  bit his lip afraid to speak more than he should.

"You're the best Muds..." 'And I love you' he thought chuckling and not moving yet just enjoying the sweet sensation of Murdoc around him and resting his face on his shoulder.

Murdoc laughed and began petting Stuart's hair as he rested his face on his shoulder. "What exactly do I mean to you Stu?" He wasn't entirely sure if he knew what Stuart was talking about but he was curious. He figured if the kid wanted to wait to fuck him to enjoy the moment, it'd be a good time to try to understand what he was thinking. He didn't mind waiting so much, it was helping him get used to Stu being inside him.

Stuart held his breath when he was asked "M-much more than you think... Muds..." he swallowed hard "Y-you... you're so important to me. You're the reason I am where I am now... and... " he stopped for a second his heart racing.

 "I...I...really like you Muds..." he told him half of the truth "I like your smile, I like when you say I’m yours.... I like when we fuck..." he looked at him "I just wanted you to like me back..." he smiled kissing his cheek. That was the worst moment to be emotive but Murdoc asked him something serious. "You mean so much to me Mu’doc... so much..." he whispered caressing his face.

Murdoc was shocked by how honest Stu was with him. He hadn't expected an entire confession. He froze for a moment, unsure what to say back. He bit his lip before answering.

"I, uh..." he looked away from Stuart embarrassed. "Like you too Stuart... more than... I can probably express delicately." His face turned red. He liked Stuart. He had come to like the boy a lot over the last couple weeks they'd spent together. He'd never been with anyone this long before, he had no idea what this feeling was.

He sighed, "Sorry Stu... I don't know how to say it, but... do you trust me?" He gave Stu a pleading look.

Stuart smiled to him . "There's no problem not knowing Muds.. and I trust you much more than I think I should..." he whispered. Stu knew he couldn't say... he wasn't expecting any matching feeling or sorta. He was in love... and he knew he shouldn't.

"Why..?" He asked curiously feeling a little better that burden was outta his back.

Murdoc groaned and laughed, hiding his hands behind his face, "You're killing me, Bluebird." He laughed. He kept his hands on his face while he spoke.

"I... because you put up with my bullshit. I've put you through a lot and you keep coming back to me. No one's ever.... come back... Christ Stuart, I definitely don't deserve it, but... I do appreciate it, even if I don't say it." He could tell his face was as read as a tomato now. He's never really experienced these feelings let alone talked about them. He dug his palms into his eyes, frustrated that he couldn't get the words out the way the kid deserved.

"Sorry..." he whispered.

Stuart smiled but soon his smirk faded. Those were the sweetest words he ever heard coming from Murdoc.  His eyes widened and stung with tears.

 He gently took off his hands from his face. He kissed both of his eyes and then his lips. He spoke into his ear "I'll always come back to you, Muds... You wanna know why...?" He took himself outta him almost totally and slowly entered him again "‘cuz I love you Mu’doc..." he whispered beginning to thrust him. "I love you so much..."

He felt Stuart take his hands off his face and kiss his eyelids then his lips. He was a sweet gesture that would warm him to his soul if he had one. He shivered again when Stu whispered into his ear.

Murdoc gasped, throwing his arms around his singer as he felt Stu pull out and back in. Then he heard those words but didn't even have time to process them before Stuart began thrusting into him. He was so overwhelmed with everything; all he could think to do was hold Stuart to him as tightly as possible. When he felt Stuart hit his prostate he moaned out Stu's name. When he was close to coming, he got close to Stuart's ear, nibbling on his earlobe.

"Make me yours Stuart." He whispered seductively.

Stuart was quick to tell him he was allowed to cum and thrusted him without mercy till he reached his climax collapsing on Murdoc and moaning his name.

He felt a big lump coming into his throat in the moment he came. Stuart quickly pulled off him when he noticed he was about to lose it. He hid his face on his chest and closed his eyes. Fuck, he couldn't cry not now. He had topped Murdoc, he was feeling so good... Why he felt himself choking? Why did his chest hurt so much?

He tried to help Murdoc by stroking him but he felt something inside him that wasn’t right. So he went further so Murdoc could cum before him. It was great but... all the things Murdoc said were just running through his head.

Murdoc felt amazing after coming. That was one of the best orgasms he ever had, but he was alarmed when Stu hid his face suddenly. He quickly rubbed his back, trying to comfort him.

"Uh, Stu? What's wrong?!" Murdoc asked, unsure if he did something wrong. "D-Did I hurt you or something?" He tried pulling the kid into a hug.

Stuart just shook his head "No you didn't Muds... it's not your fault I’m okay..." he lied "Just lemme stay here please..." he hid his face on his chest crying already and his voice sounding broken. His shaking arm wrapped around his waist and he pulled him closer. "P-please..." a wave of emotions hit him and he sobbed.

Murdoc's heart dropped at Stuart sobbing. His chest hurt. He placed his hand underneath Stuart's chin and had him look him. It broke his heart to see the kid crying. He had no idea why. He'd only ever had to comfort a crying Noodle and that was when no one else happened to be around to do it instead.

"Stuart, please tell me." He pleaded, wiping the tears away from his face. He kissed his forehead. "I'll do anything, just tell me what's wrong."

"I'm fucking in love with you..." he almost yelled. "And now you'll... you'll get away from me... ‘cuz... ‘cuz I wasn't supposed to... to fell in love with you...it was just sex.. But you were being so nice to me... and..." he sobbed between words clearly panicking

"I’m so fucking stupid... you had my heart since ...  the very beginning... and.... I'm so sorry Muds..." he closed his eyes while his tears fell. "You don't know what you mean to me..."

Murdoc flinched at Stuart's little outburst. He hadn't expected it, but he couldn't help but chuckle at the sobbing singer in front of him. He wiped the boy’s tears away while gently shushing him.

"Nothing to be sorry about, and no need to cry my little Bluebird. I... it wasn't just sex... I'll be honest Stuart, I don't really know what love is... I've never really loved anything before..." he kissed the tip of his nose.

 "But I can tell you, that... I... I'm pretty sure I do... love you too Stu. These past few weeks have been some of the most fun I've ever had. I never want them to end, and if that's what love is. Then yes... I love you too Stu." He smiled and pulled Stu into the biggest bear hug he could manage hoping he conveyed himself properly.

Stuart had his eyes opened wide when he heard all that. He couldn't believe... he hugged him back crying silently but now it was all happiness. "Muds..." he whispered while all his fears went away. He loved him. He said it. "I was so scared..." he mumbled sobbing and holding him tightly. He just wanted Murdoc to be nice with him.. He wasn't even expecting love back... the singer would teach him what love was no matter how long it would take.

Murdoc continued wiping tears from his eyes, "Sweet Satan Stuart. You're going to drown us in your tears soon if you don't stop." He chuckled.

"I think I knew for a while, but I didn't know how to express it till you said it. What can I say Stu? You sunk your teeth in me." He winked at the boy.

"I'll, uh, try to be better, okay?" He said quietly, petting his hair again. Then he had another thought.

"So... are we dating then?"


	9. Feelings

Stuart forced himself to stop crying... it wasn't difficult as he was feeling much better now... he smiled at him sniffling. His nose was red and he looked terribly cute. "You're already better... much better with me..." he wiped his last tears.

To his last question, his heart raced "Y-you really wanna date me...?" He must be dreaming hearing that. Murdoc really wanted to be his that bad...? He couldn't help but smile widely.

"W-well..." Murdoc hadn't really thought about it, he just thought that's what people did. "I've never really dated anyone before... Christ, I'm not very experienced in relationships Stuart, I'm sorry. Don't people usually date when they like each other?" He looked embarrassed. He felt stupid for not knowing much about it. He'd always been a one night stand kind of guy, fuck and run.

"But," he continued, "I would like to... only if you want to." He gave Stuart a smile and brushed back a bit of his hair. He would have never thought he would be saying something like this in a million years. He was both nervous and incredibly happy. He wanted to hug Stuart forever and never let go of him.

Stuart smiled to him back and sniffled "People do it when they like each other... this you're right..." he chuckled a bit  "I'd love to Muds... even if you're not experienced ..." he loved him touching his face "I don't date in a while now... guess I'll have to learn too..." he joked and wrapped his arms around him. Since Paula he hadn’t dated anyone.

"I'm sorry for freaking out... I never thought… Christ I never thought you'd ask me something like that Muds..." he laughed "Of course I want..." It wasn’t the most romantic way to ask but… he was happy anyway.

He knew Murdoc wouldn't want to tell anyone for now and he would take time to learn how to be in a relationship properly..  But he didn't care... he just wanted him for now.

Murdoc smiled, "It's okay Stu. I'm just glad you told me, you really freaked me out." He was petting his hair and rubbing his back. "Just promise me no tears next time you top me, yeah? You're gonna give this old man a heart attack." He snorted.

"And you were pretty good as a top though Stu. I gotta say… I was surprised, but it was a good surprise. Was it everything you thought it'd be?" He asked. He kept petting his hair, in a euphoric sort of bliss at the moment. A lot happened in the span of a few minutes, he needed a moment to take it all in.

"Y-you came to me asking what you meant to me... I freaked out..." he explained shyly pouting. "I thought it was a bit too early to tell you how I feel..." he smiled

"It was much better Muds... I hope you liked it to... eventually I'll learn to do how you like..." he leaned on his touch in his head. "By the way... May I ask you back... what do I mean to you?" He bit his lip unsure of what he had just asked. "That's okay if you don't wanna answer... I just wanted to know..." he whispered.

Murdoc laughed, "I didn't think you'd cry about it! And you did it exactly how I like it, although I could probably take a little more pain." He winked at his singer.

When Stu asked about what he thought of him and stopped for a moment to think about it. "For fucks sake, you'd think as someone who writes lyrics I'd be able to say what I need to say much easier." He bit his lip. "You, uh... you mean a lot of me Stu. Like I said before, I usually don't try to keep anyone around me for very long and people generally don't want to stay. You've been one of the few, and that... uh, means the world to me Bluebird."

He was playing with a strand of 2D's hair to help him keep from getting too embarrassed. He's never really talked like this before and it was hard for him, but he wanted to try at least.

Stuart thought about more pain... well he didn't bottomed in a while, now that he did would Murdoc want to keep doing that? His head raced with obscene thoughts involving the Satanist.

Stuart stopped thinking once he told he meant the world for him. He smiled dumbly and nuzzled his face on his chest "Oh God Mu’doc...." he couldn't answer that so happy he was. He kissed his cheek and laid on him. "I want to stay Muds... even if we weren't together... making music with you is what makes me happy the most..." I he told him honestly. Being able to create with Murdoc really made him happy and feeling useful. That was all he needed to be for Murdoc. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me Mu’doc..."

He appreciated how handsy and open Stu was about kissing him and touching him. He thought it was pretty adorable. He wasn't quite used to doing those kinds of sweet little things but he thought he might try eventually.

Murdoc snorted, "I don't know about that. I did give you brain damage… and ruined your eyes… and took a year from you while you were comatose." His mouth was getting dry, he tried to swallow. He was not making himself look good at all.

He tried to change the topic to get away from the guilty feeling building up inside him, "Shall we… go take a shower?" He was petting the singer’s hair again.

Stuart frowned to him "details, dear Muds..." he winked to him. "You made me famous, you made me your front man, and you changed my whole life mate... to better." He chuckled. Murdoc needed to see the bright side of what he had done. "Don't worry about that."

He stood up naked still with his arse not hurting like usually "And well... I know you never really apologized for the accident and all that..." he turned his face to Murdoc with a smile plastered in his red face a bit puffy from crying

"I"ve already forgiven you for it... a long time ago Muds... so ... there's no reason you shouldn't forgive yourself..." he smiled to him leaning closer and pecking his lips "I'll be waiting for you there, love..."

He told him softly heading to the bathroom and leaving him a moment alone, that the singer thought he needed.

Murdoc sat up slowly and watched the kid’s ass as he left. When he was alone he fell back to the bed and covered his face with his pillow, embarrassed. He couldn't believe he'd just said all that stuff, to 2D no less. The same guy he swore he hated ever since he met him. But did he really? He remembered being jealous of him, but not truly hating him. Now he was dating the kid and he was excited and terrified at the same time.

It all happened so quick, but he concluded that he didn't hate what happened. He was going to go with it and see what happened. He did actually like the kid after all, quite a bit actually.

He took the pillow off his face and slowly sat up. He was sore tired, but he really wanted a shower, especially with 2D waiting for him. He grabbed a cigarette and lit it, slowly getting up, grimacing as his ass and lower back hurt a bit. He hadn't bottomed in a while, he wasn't quite used to it yet.

He walked to the shower and hopped in behind 2D, cigarette still in his mouth. He stood there watching Stu as the singer showered, admiring the view, working on his cigarette.

Stuart was so happy he didn't even noticed Murdoc getting inside. He was with his back turned to him washing his hair and singing. When Stuart was happy, he sung... he was singing quite loud and smiling wide.

Murdoc liked him... he thought he hated. It was a pleasant surprise... and he finally told him he forgave him. Stuart knew he had more inner demons than normal people had and would take his time to discover what love was. He would have to be careful when dealing with him... but he was in love and stupid, hoping he would eventually open himself a bit and trust him to tell his story. He would wait. They were dating now... so Murdoc wouldn't be seeing or shagging another people. This made him a bit less worried. They had all lives ahead.

"Maybe in time... you'll want to be mine..." he chose the lyrics to _El Mañana_ to sing. He said going under the water and rinsing his blue hair. It was a bit long now... he would need to cut again soon.

Murdoc finished his cigarette in silence as he listened to Stu sing. He loved when the kid sang, he could listen to it all day. He threw his cigarette away came up behind Stu. He put his hands on his ass and gave them a quick squeeze, he laughed then wrapped his arms around Stuart's waist and pulled him close. The singer was taller than he was so Murdoc just kissed the singer’s back on his spine then moved to his shoulder blades.

When he finished he just put his face against his back and hugged him close, "You sound amazing Bluebird. Please never stop singing for me. You are truly amazing." He whispered.

Stuart yelped a bit when Murdoc came near him. He blushed when he squeezed his ass but didn't bother, Murdoc usually slapped him. He welcomed his hug smiling. He was so short. he love that.

To his compliment his heart raced. He knew Murdoc liked him singing but not that much.

He kept singing and slowly turned around placing Murdoc under the water after he put shampoo on his head and began washing... he smiled to him and caressed his scalp slowly giving him full attention and looking into his eyes while he hummed the song. The singer didn't know if Murdoc was okay with that touching but he tried to be really careful.

He tried to whistle but his teeth prevented him from doing it. He got embarrassed and red coming back to the humming again.

Murdoc chuckled and purred playfully when Stuart started washing his hair.

"You singing while washing my hair, I could get used to this kind of treatment Bluebird." Stuart rubbing the shampoo into his hair felt incredibly relaxing. He felt so tamed and calm, it was such and odd feeling for Murdoc but he was really enjoying it.

He chuckled when the singer tried whistling. "Little hard when you're missing your front teeth. That's okay though. I like it better when you hum." He looked at the singer’s neck, enjoying all the hickies.

"I'm gonna have to stop giving these to you for a while, till after we finish filming our Dirty Harry video." He frowned. He didn't want those hickies gone, he felt if they were gone then Stu would have birds all over him like usual. He couldn't say that though, he didn't want to sound jealous. “Anytime you want Muds... we don’t have to fuck for that.." he told him softly.

Stuart kept humming just ‘cuz he said he liked. His hand went to the back of his neck, massaging him there and pulling him a bit closer almost touching bodies.

Stuart chuckled "yeah Muds... But you already gave me one big hickey that appeared in Demon Days cover... I wouldn’t mind if there were others.." he shrugged. Stuart knew that he had purple bruises all over.

"But let those heal and you'll have plenty of skin to mark again... I like that.." he whispered with his hands resting around his neck. "They make me always remember who I belong to.." he whispered into his ear and changed place with Murdoc so he could go under the water.

Murdoc smirked, "Or I could just bite you in other places." He looked up at Stu and made a playful little biting motion while squeezing his ass again. He loved embarrassing the kid by playing with his ass. He got embarrassed over a few things and he always loved to tease him about it.

He shivered in excitement when 2D whispered in his ear. He couldn't believe the effect the singer had on him when he whispered in his ear. "Shit Stu, don't do that unless you’ gonna let me fuck you or you fuck me right after. Your whispers in my ear are fucking erotic." He gulped. He loved hearing 2D say he was his.

Stuart blushed with him squeezing his ass. "you have something with my rear huh mate..?" he chuckled "you have me all over to mark, Muds... do as you please.." he smiled to him softly.

Stuart's eyes widened... Erotic? Really? "Oh I'm sorry I forgot this is just a shower..." he took a step further and pressed his back against the cold wall cornering him... "Can’t I tease _my boyfriend?"_ he whispered into his ear again, using the new word to tease him. "You need to learn how to control yourself Muds...” he smiled and rubbed his nose against his getting a bit more confident.

Murdoc laughed, "I can't help it Stu. I love when I grab your ass and you get embarrassed. It's a great ass really I would bite it too, don't tempt me." He smiled deviously, showing him his set of sharp teeth.

His heart raced at Stu calling him boyfriend and cornering him. It surprised him to say the least since he wasn't used to it yet. He would do anything for the kid to say it again. He laughed, "For fuck sake Stu, you've seriously got me wrapped around your finger. How the fuck am I supposed to control myself when you're like this?" He gave the singer a sly smile. He knew he'd probably end up doing whatever Stuart asked him to do at this point, the kid had a hold on him now.

Stuart smiled to his answer "Well at least the bites there no one would be able to see, only you..." he teased.

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Wrapped around my finger huh..." he mumbled more to himself than to Murdoc. He couldn’t believe... but yes, Murdoc was his, to do whatever he wanted.

"Kiss me..." he demanded not saying please as he always did, rolling his hips in his direction. Doing that he placed his both palms on his ass so he could squeeze it again. "Kiss your boyfriend Mu’doc..." his eyes were half opened wanting his touch.

Murdoc grunted slightly and smirked, "Demanding and confident already, damn Dents. I can't say no to that." He pulled them close together and gave his ass another squeeze as he lifted himself up on his toes to give him a deep kiss.

He growled playfully and whispered, "You better be planning to do something for this hard on you gave me Dents. Make me wait and I might start biting."

Stuart kissed him back. He found so sweet he tiptoeing to do it. He smirked "So start biting, love.." he challenged. If he knew, Murdoc liked to be ordered around he would have started sooner.

"Your turn.." he whispered into his ear going to kiss his neck sweetly, he knew that turned Murdoc even more on.

Murdoc smiled devilishly. "Oh, you’re gonna regret that." He slipped out of the corner 2D had him pinned in and got behind him. He quickly turned the water off and grabbed 2D, bringing him back to his room.

He pushed 2D face first into his bed, not caring how wet they were, and ran his fingers gently down his back. He straddled 2D's legs and got close and started kissing the back of his neck, then gently kissed his way down his spine.

When he reached his ass, he started kissing his right cheek, then bit and sucked on one spot. Then he did a few more on both sides. When he was done he sat up and admired them then slapped his ass. "Regretting those words yet Dents? Told ya I'd bite, love."

Stuart didn’t struggle, he loved when Murdoc was dominant with him too. Stuart couldn’t help but yelp when he did that but.. He wanted more. He even tilted his ass up  and let him do it moaning and wincing in pain. He panted and his cock became hard again involuntarily with the pain and that slap. He found he actually loved it.

"More Muds..." he said in a low tone gripping the sheets again. "Fuck me please..." his face was red from embarrassment... he wasn’t expecting to like those marks that much.

Murdoc smirked, running his hands gently over the bites. He knew 2D would be sensitive on his ass now. He gave him a few more spanks.

"Well... I can't say no to that either love." He leaned over 2D's back, pressing his dick into his the small of his back. He grabbed Stuart's hair with one hand and gently lifted his head up. He put 3 fingers in Stuart's mouth with his other hand.

"I need you to get these nice and wet my little Blueberry." He slid them over his tongue and down towards the back of his throat.

Stuart choked with those fingers but he nodded and made them as wet as he could. He was shivering in anticipation and those semi pull turned him on.

His long fingers gripped the sheets once again and he closed his eyes focusing in not get hurt with those long nails.

When he was done he took those fingers off his mouth "Make.. make me regret my words love..." he teased with a smile. A trail of saliva connecting his mouth to his fingers.

Murdoc licked his lips hearing Stu and seeing the spit, he leaned down and gave Stu a deep kiss, sticking his tongue into his mouth. He pushed his dick into his back, moaning from the sensation, but it wasn't enough.

He broke the kiss and got back behind Stuart. He put in two of his spit-covered fingers slowly, getting Stu used to it. He also bent down and bit and sucked on a few more spots. He'd spank him with the other hand, hitting the side he wasn't biting.

Stuart welcomed the kiss but soon he felt the sharp pain on his rear. He moaned with those fingers but he felt he definitely wanted more. Since he discovered that sweet part inside him he  found it was called prostate he always wanted Murdoc hitting it.

"Mu’doc.. please..." he moaned hiding his face on the pillow, as he involuntarily lifted his lower part spread his legs making room for Murdoc and yelped with his slap. He would be definitely marked.

Murdoc smiled and stuck the third finger in. He bent his fingers and searched till he found Stuart's sweet spot. He pulled his fingers out and lined himself up to his entrance. He leaned over Stuart and pulled his head back up slightly.

"How much do you want it? I need you to beg for me." He demanded. He gave Stu another slap on his ass telling him to hurry up. He loved how red Stuart's skin was littered with small bites and bruises.

"Fuck next time I-I swear I'll make you beg Muds..." he winced when his hair was pulled"  "Thinking that it's you about to fuck me is making m-my dick hard again.... Please ... M-make" He swallowed hard feeling that slap "Just make it hurt, Mu’doc."

Stuart turn to meet Murdoc's eyes and he gasped noticing how much lust they showed. "Ravish me." He whispered. "I trust you for that, Muds. I need you. P-p-please. Please do this for me." he swayed his hips lewdly "Make me feel loved Mu’doc and make me yours..." he turned his red face against the sheets embarrassed of his tiny breakdown.

Murdoc laughed, "Don't threaten me with a good time love." He loved to hear him beg, it made him ache and he nearly slammed it into Stu then and there, but then he listened to 2D spill his heart.

When 2D put his face back against the sheets, Murdoc's eyes widened in surprise. He couldn't believe Stu just said all that. It made him smile wide. He leaned over, placing his hands and Stu's hips.

"As you wish, Bluebird." He said as he slammed himself into Stuart. He waited to see how his singer was doing first before he continued.

"Doing okay, Stu?" He asked, leaning over and pulling his head up by his hair again, gently. He kissed his shoulder and neck.

Stuart moaned loudly his name. His back arched and he trembled. Maybe he regretted now what he said, his ass were hurting from the bites and the slaps but he would be strong even when tiny tears appeared on his eyes.

When he was pulled Murdoc was able to see together with his tears a red face and a big smile. The singer spread a bit more his legs when he was kissed "More... Please..." he whispered knowing that it would hurt. However, that was what he wanted. He mouthed an "I love you" with his hair pulled.

When 2D told him more and mouthed those words he looked straight into 2D's eyes and gave a seductive growl. Tears plus a smile coming from Stuart was erotic. He bit into his shoulder and started thrusting himself into Stuart hard. He brought his hands down to his hips, digging his nails in, and used that to hold Stuart in place as he kept going. He grunted with each thrust, it felt amazing. He wanted to give Stuart exactly what he asked for.

Stuart immediately turned into a sobbing and moaning mess... "Fuck me Mu’doc...Oh God right there..." he said loudly between each thrust. He felt in heaven when Murdoc did that to him, mercilessly slamming against his prostate what exactly he wanted.

He cum no longer after and Murdoc just kept thrusting into him, what made him yell and curse in pleasure crying even more while he felt his legs turning into jelly.

After Stuart came, he kept thrusting a few more times for another minute. He was still biting and licking his shoulder, switching to biting his neck when he finally came inside him. He was panting hard and he felt content and exhausted. Stuart moaning and yelling had driven him mad. He could have fucked the kid all night if he had the strength.

When he finally calmed down he immediately pulled out, getting up and going to that first aid kit Stu had used on him countless times.

"Stay still Stu." He told him as he left. When he found the kit, he brought it back and spread his legs again. He took an antibiotic/soothing ointment and gently rubbed it over his red ass and all the other bites. "How you doing love?" He whispered, hoping he hadn't overdone it.

Stuart was seeing stars... "That was wow... God... You did exactly what I wanted..." he blinked the last tears he had to cry and sniffled "You're amazing... I have the best boyfriend in the world..." he smiled widely when he was taking care of him. "Thank you Muds.." .

He didn’t know he liked pain that much... was a welcome surprise, he hoped for both man... "You actually made me regret.." he joked winking to him. Of course he didn’t. And he was still a bit ashamed of his outburst... but he was horny as hell and not really thinking. All he could focus was his will to have Murdoc.

Murdoc chuckled, "Well I'm glad you liked it Stu. You, uh... may be a bit sore for a day or two though. You're pretty red and bruised back here. I'm sure you'll be regretting it tomorrow." He looked at the bites he had left on his shoulder and neck, they were bleeding slightly.

"Shit, Stu. Noodle's gonna kill you if these are still here when we film... I hate to say it, believe me, but we may need to cool it for a bit. I'd suggest you bite me, but even I have to be shirtless later. I REALLY don't want to piss off Noodle or Russ... but mainly Noodle."

When he finished rubbing the ointment on 2D's back and flopped down next to him, completely exhausted. He looked over at Stu, his face still red from crying.

"So lemme regret it tomorrow... for now I just want you close, c'mere..." he told him softly. All things were really hurting but due to his afterglow he was really not feeling it.

"We can postpone it... tell her that I'm not feeling well or sorta... that I fell from the stairs... we always have a way to keep things cool with them..." he smiled to him caressing his hair

"So much time and they didn’t even found out about us..." he chuckled lightly sniffing and wiping his tears "But yeah I think we need to cool down a little after this one..." he was glad Murdoc tore him apart but he knew there were gone be consequences.

Murdoc got close, "Fine, Fine. I bet you five dollars you’ll be sore as fuck tomorrow and they flip..." he laughed feeling his lids getting heavy. He yawned and mumbled, "I am not taking the fall Dents. That little girl can kick my ass easy." He chuckled. He hoped Noodle would take it a little easier on 2D if she got mad. 

Before he fell asleep, he grabbed 2D's hand and kissed it, mumbling again, "Let me know if you need me to grab your pills later if the pain gets to be too much, yeah?" He then pulled 2D closer to him, breathing in his scent, and slowly fell asleep.

Stuart kissed his hand back "I'll tell you if I need... thanks Muds..." he kissed his forehead and closed his eyes slowly falling asleep


	10. Cocky

Murdoc sat there pouting as 2D left. Russel just shook his head, laughing.

"Looks like you don't have much control over that kid anymore." Murdoc just clenched his jaw. Russel eventually got up and went to the kitchen, leaving Murdoc alone. When he was alone he sighed and walked outside, to be met by Cortez. The bird landed on his arm, scraping his arm again with his talons.

"Fuck, Cortez, you always scratch the shit out of me." He laughed when the bird cawed and ruffled its feathers. He looked up and happened to see 2D, smoking on one of the balconies.

Murdoc smirked and whispered to Cortez. The bird cawed and flew from his arm. Murdoc leaned against the nearby wall watching his bird fly up towards 2D. Cortez cawed again and landed in front of 2D, looked at him and fluffing his feathers.

Stuart was thinking when Cortez appeared. He smiled at the bird "God, you scared me..." he went closer the bird... "Hey little mate, what are you doing here? Your owner must be looking for you.." he whispered to him trying to sound friendly.

The bird cawed at 2D and hopped closer. He fluffed his feathers and suddenly grabbed the lit cigarette 2D had. He quickly hopped off the balcony and flew back down to Murdoc, landing on his arm once more. Murdoc grabbed the cigarette from the bird and took a puff. He then looked up, expecting to see 2D looking. He smirked and gave a confident wave to the boy.

Stuart flinched when he came near his face, god he thought he would pluck his eye for fucks sake.

However, as the bird just stole his cigar rete he smiled. Murdoc should have told him to do it. He waved back to Murdoc in the same confidence. He wanted to know if the bird was coming back so he lit another cigar rete. He wouldn’t go down now with this "wireless phone" game.

Murdoc smoked on his cigarette for a moment, smiling up at the singer. He slowly took off his upside cross necklace, holding it in his hands for a moment, turning it over. He almost didn't want to give it away, it was his infamous necklace, but the singer seemed upset before and that was all he had to give. He didn't want the kid made at him.

He handed it to the bird for it to grab. The bird obediently took the necklace chain in it's beak, waiting for Murdoc.

"Take that to him, don't take it for yourself you little shit. I know how you like shiny things." He chuckled and scratched the bird’s neck. It looked at him for a moment, then flew off with the cross. He puffed on the cigarette as he watched him go back up to the balcony.

The bird hopped onto the ledge next to 2D, the necklace in his beak. He ruffled his feathers as he waited for 2D to take it.

Stuart let the cigarrete fell when he saw it. He took it in his hands putting it inside his pocket as he thought he wasn’t allowed to wear and thanked Cortez with a tiny scratch in his feathers.

The singer needed to think quickly in some way to say thank you. "You stay here..." he told the bird and quickly ran inside grabbing a post it note writing something inside. He went back and glued it on the bird's beak "Take it to your owner.. Please" he asked gently.

Inside the paper he wrote "I'm sorry." was the best way to apologize after being a dick with him.

Murdoc saw 2D take the necklace then run inside. He pursed his lips wondering what the singer was doing, when he came back out and gave the bird something. The bird jumped off the balcony and glided back down. He landed on Murdoc's arm and Murdoc grabbed the note from him. He read it and smiled. He looked back up at 2D and gave him a wide smile and a wave.

He stuck the note in his pocket and let Cortez fly off again. With a final smile at 2D, he walked back inside, satisfied that 2D wasn't made at him anymore. He walked to the recording room and grabbed his bass. He turned the volume up loud and started plucking the strings, playing the bass line to their song "Sound Check (Gravity)" from their first album. He loved when 2D sang that song, it was one of his favorites.

Stuart smiled at him back. Therefore, they were in good terms after all. He quickly gave up smoking and decided to go back inside as Cortez didn’t seem he was coming back.

Once inside he heard the distinct sound that only one instrument could make. Murdoc with El Diablo. He smiled to that and shoved his hand on his pocket, feeling the cross inside it. He soon headed to the recording room.

Murdoc was busy playing a bit louder than he should but he didn’t mind... He recognized the song almost immediately clearing his throat while he began singing.

_Gravity on me never let me down gently..._

He quite enjoyed the bass line of the song, even if he didn’t sing much in this one... but it was quite like White light, Murdoc didn’t sing much but he could feel the energy he had while saying just a few words.

He leaned closer him entering the room and placing both hands on his shoulders as he was with his back turned to him, sitting on a revolving chair.

Murdoc hadn't heard 2D come in, so when the singer placed his hands on his shoulders he jumped, which also caused him to stop playing. He quickly turned to see 2D. He smiled.

"Hey, Bluebird." He turned the volume down a bit on the amp and continued plucking the strings. "Did you like my messenger raven? I thought for sure the little bastard would take off with my necklace, but I'm glad he didn't. I'm going to have to give him a rat later or something as a thank you." He chuckled.

Stuart smiled to him "Well I thought he would pluck my eye but that's okay, I liked it.... He's really clever Muds, were you who taught him?" he held his cross in his pocket, Murdoc really trusted him cross to his bird, it was a tiny act but showed Stuart something.

"I'm sure there are rats around the cemetery here in Kong mate..." he knew that crows eat almost anything so wouldn’t be hard to find something to please Cortez.

Murdoc smiled and looked down at his bass as he plucked. "Sorta. The bloody beast listens to me sometimes, and sometimes he doesn't. I'm happy he actually listened this time. And yeah, I'm sure he'll find something."

He looked up at Stuart. "Are you nervous about the video shoot?" He had seen the kids reactions when Noodle had been talking about it and when he had been teasing him. The kid didn't seem to be happy about it.

"He even listened to me..." Stuart smiled noticing it, Cortez only knew him for some days and he already trusted him enough to obey.

The video was just something he didn’t want to talk about right now "A bit, Muds." he said looking down. The right word was jealous. "Are you?" Of course he wasn't but Stuart felt like asking. He rubbed the back of his arm nervous. "Has been a while we don't record and... I'm afraid of disappointing Noodle." he lied a bit, it was fifty percent truth.

Murdoc shook his head, "We'll be fine mate. I'm sure it'll turn out great. Try not to think too much about, yeah?" He looked back up at Stu. He could sense some hesitation in 2D's voice.

"You got my necklace right? As long as you got that, everything will be fine, Bluebird. Satan hasn't failed me yet." He chuckled and nodded to a seat across from him.

"Sit down and stay awhile. We can practice together."

Stuart smiled to his words. "Yes.." he nodded and took off the necklace from his pocket holding it not giving back Murdoc yet. It would have been a shame if Cortez stole it.

he sit on the revolving chair of the studio "What you wanna practice, Muds...?" he said looking at the cross on his fingers.

Murdoc gave him a sly smile, "What else except _Feel Good Inc._? This is your chance to get a close up and personal view of my amazing bass playing skills. Who knows, maybe I'll even sing a bit of it for you." He winked. He liked seeing 2D with his cross, a small warmth blossomed in his chest. He decided to tease the boy more.

"I can even practice some of that thrusting I'm gonna be doing tomorrow. Satan knows I can't practice on you for a little bit." He snorted and stuck his tongue out at the kid.

Stuart blushed hard, his tone of voice was really seducing. "Okay Muds..." he smirked back "Make me a show... Pretend I'm one of the ... birds you'll be performing to tomorrow." he spit the word with jealousy. "I'll tell ya if I like it or not.." he teased back.

He stood up and placed the cross around his neck again, resting his hands on the back of his neck pulling him close as he thought Murdoc would record with it tomorrow.

"Go on... Sex god... _surprise me."_ he told him against his lips and as he was taller Murdoc had to look up to see his eyes. He didn’t kiss him "And yeah you can't bite me Muds." he leaned closer into his ear "But it doesn’t mean we can’t fuck...." he knew his sore arse wouldn’t appear in the video.

He sat down on the chair again waiting with a smile.

A shiver went down Murdoc's spine and he gulped. He hadn't been expecting that from 2D at all. He was thrown slightly off his game. He watched 2D for a moment and shook his head and laughed, "Nice try Dents. I'm not touching that ass of yours for a week, mainly so I don't bite you but also because I don't think your ass could handle another night anytime soon. And just for snarky little remark, no blowjobs from me either. You're gonna be crying for me in a week." He tilted his chin up playfully in triumph, hoping he threw the kid off his game this time.

He fiddled with the nearby recording equipment so it'd play all the parts of _Feel Good Inc._ except the vocals and bass parts. He turned and looked straight into 2D's eyes as he started strumming when it was needed. He played the iconic bass line, seductively moving his hips, not breaking eye contact with the singer.

"Let's see who's gonna cry Mu’doc..." He said with a smirk. "You'll miss fucking me... You'll miss biting me, you'll miss marking me...no touching Muds." he told him seriously ‘‘‘cuz he would miss just the same, before he played the right parts.

Stuart smiled and almost drooled... how was him supposed to focus in singing when Murdoc would do what he was doing in front of him in the middle of the recording? He bit his lip, Murdoc was just sexy as fuck... and this time it was only for him. He crossed his legs to hide his noticeable erection coming. He didn’t blink to watch Murdoc.

Murdoc would fuck him all day if he could and he knew the kid was right, he'd miss it all. But now it was a battle of wills, and Murdoc was gonna win.

He smiled faintly when he noticed the kid mesmerized by his moves. He saw him cross his legs and he knew he was winning already. He licked his lips, kept eye contact, and slowly made his way to the singer sitting there. He got right in front of him and kept moving his hips. He winked at the kid and smiled. Before they knew it the entire song was finished without 2D singing at all and Murdoc was just standing there looking down at the singer, a smirk on his face. He was excited and breathing a little harder.

"You forgot to sing, little blueberry." He whispered, keeping his smirk.

Stuart blinked twice "I-I'll sing tomorrow... let's save my voice for it... Right...?" He stuttered and swallowed hard barely remembering the lyrics or his own name. His hands trembled to touch him bailing into fists and he licked his lips... mouth becoming dry. Murdoc won, he was irresistible...

"Just.. Just promise you'll do something like that only for me... when we're able to fuck.. please...?" he really liked it, much more than he thought he would. he leaned closer with begging eyes almost kissing him "Please...?" when he did it his cock ached as it was hard and he pressed his body on it, letting out a soft moan only Murdoc heard.

Why the fuck did Noodle had to create such a seductive bass line?

Murdoc kept his smirk feeling victorious; he put his hand down under his chin, bringing his thumb up to play with his lips. Then he let go and walked back to put his bass away. He turned back and walked slowly and seductively back to 2D, keeping his eyes on him again. He got close to him once more, standing in front of him, looking down.

"I promise." He pushed his hips forward slightly, wanting to tease the boy more. He was gonna make him break, he loved this power he held over the singer. He bent down slightly and grabbed the singer’s hands, bringing them up and placing them on his own hips underneath his shirt. He continued keeping his eyes on the singer.

Stuart bit his lip, it wasn’t fair. The singer would never be able to do something like that as he was just too awkward and wouldn’t look any sexy even if he tried hard.

Stuart kept looking up at him and his hands grabbed his hips and pulled him down, forcing Murdoc to sit on his lap and the singer to open his legs. He gasped when he did that, Murdoc wasn’t heavy and he hitting him with his weight was delightful. He moaned lowly again. "Muds... we can't...." he stared into his eyes "Fuck, _I'm so in love with you.."_ He whispered the words, already breaking.

Murdoc chuckled when 2D pulled him down. He loved how easy he was to break. He rocked his hips forward into 2D. He was hard himself but he was enjoying seeing his singer like this, the painful hard on was worth it.

He got close to 2D, lips not quite touching, similar to how 2D did it to him earlier. He smiled darkly. He said the words slowly and seductively, whispering, _"I love you too."_

Stuart couldn’t handle anymore all that teasing. Murdoc told him he loved him, how good was that? He leaned closer and kissed him. He didn’t care if they couldn’t... Murdoc was hard as rock rolling his hips on him.

He cupped his face and began snogging with him. Was all his fault, he danced, teased... Stuart felt blessed to have such a lewd man with him. He pulled him closer by his hips pressing both erections together. He wanted to kiss Murdoc till the world ends. But no biting.

Murdoc wasn't surprised when Stuart kissed him and even moaned slightly when he pulled him closer and pushed them against each other. He'd won and he felt amazing, but he knew he needed to stop this.

He pulled away, panting and resting his head on 2D's shoulder, "Christ... this was a bad idea. I took myself down in the process of trying to break you, Dents." He laughed.

"But I can't fuck ya dents, I'm too rough on you. We gotta keep you clean or that little girl is going to be very upset and she's a little terrifying when she's upset." He thought back to when he'd eaten the last of one of her favorite snacks. Nearly broke his arm.

"Almost all of your ideas are bad Mu’doc.. The worst part is that I like most of them..." Stuart panted coming back to his normal, his heart was racing.... he thought for a second... "So I challenge you for another thing... It doesn’t have to be now.." he smirked catching his breath.

He looked at him "You say you're too rough on me right...? How about a day... that..." he looked down blushing "Well you don’t be that rough to me and... _we make love instead of just fucking_...?" he asked looking down, he couldn’t look at him in the eye.

"I mean, have you ever made love to someone Muds...?" he knew he took parts in orgies as he said, but and the other hand? He bit his lip. This way he wouldn’t be that hurt in bed, right?

Murdoc was surprised by this request from the singer. He thought about it, biting his lip. He'd never had anyone ask that of him, obviously, so he didn't quite know how the two differed.

"I suppose we could at some point... I guess I don't really understand the difference Dents. Sex is sex, right? I'm not that cultured in love or anything like that, Stu." He frowned, feeling a little embarrassed and disappointed in himself because he couldn't give the singer what he wanted.

"And I don't care what you say, Bluebird, your ass is so chewed on right now, I'm not touching it till it heals, you'll have to find another way to get your rocks off." He crossed his arms, standing his ground. He was still trying to work out what the difference was to making love and shagging. He growled, even more embarrassed now.

Stuart was kinda expecting for that answer... Murdoc shouldn’t know as he never loved someone before right..? He slowly controlled himself and his boner.

"Making love is.... something you do when you're in love Muds... It isn't just two horny bodies... it happens when you actually feel something towards the other person..." he smiled swallowing hard, Murdoc seemed upset by his stupid idea.

"It can be tender and with praising... and full of meaning and care... I know I'm sounding like i want you to have my virginity but." he tried to joke... "Making love is as good as shagging, you just go a bit slower and cover the other person with love while making them yours...." he tried his best to explain but still sounded a bit stupid.

He looked down "It was a silly idea ... I'm sorry..." he really wanted to make love to Murdoc even him not knowing what it was. They just shagged like rabbits till now.

"And if you don’t want to touch me, please stop teasing... you know I can’t resist you..." now Murdoc won and his face blushed hard.

Murdoc thought about Stuart's explanation. Making love sounded a little dull and terrifying to him. Going slow only meant more time to think about what he was doing while he was doing it. It also meant more time for Stuart to know he didn't know how to act like that and to become extremely disappointed. He'd have to do a bit of research first.

"Uh... it sounds nice Bluebird. Give me a little time to think about it yeah?" He got up off of Stuart adjusting his pants a little. He looked away from him, towards his bass, "Sorry, Stu. I'm a little new to all of this." He bit his lip wondering how disappointed Stu was with him now.

Stuart shook his head for that "That's okay Muds... it's just a suggestion, you can deny it too if you’re not ready..." he smiled to him. he wasn’t disappointed to that, he was just annoyed he teased him that way and they wouldn’t have how to anything about it.

"Don’t feel bad for that... I may be rushing things a little I'm sorry.." he told him standing up as his ass was really sore and already bothering him.

"Let's do something right...? This time we can’t fuck, let's try to... I dunno.... do couple things... to see if we're okay with this relationship....isn’t it all sex right?" he smiled at him turning his face to look at him. "Hey I don’t love you any less ‘cuz of that..." he reassured him rubbing his nose against the Satanist. He would be patient.

Murdoc blushed when 2D rubbed his nose against his. 2D always knew how to do something adorable to ease the mood. He gave him a quick smile. The kid had a point, they weren't just shagging anymore. He had to step up his game... something else he's never had to do before.

"Uh, yeah! I'm down for that. D-do you want me to take you out on a date? Is that what you mean?" Is that what couples did? They'd do dates? Murdoc started panicking again. He was really shit at this.

Stuart chuckled at that and blushed... Murdoc was really trying it was so cute.... "well... I dunno... If you want to..." he smiled warmly "I'm talking about like, watching movies together,  theatre, go to the park, even for an ice cream or feeding Cortez, Muds... Anything I would be pleased to do with you, not only shag..." he placed both hands on his shoulders rubbing them.

"We already live together and to all the sorts of things together right...? I was just thinking about another way of bonding... as you're already a huge part of my life... making music and stuff..." he kissed his forehead happy Murdoc was actually saying yes to his idea.

Murdoc nodded, enjoying the little kiss on the forehead. "Yeah, I think I can do that. I've never really bonded before, but I'm willing to give it a shot for ya Stu." He thought about what they could go do. He wanted to treat the kid now or else he was gonna be too focused on jumping his bones.

"You wanna... go see a movie Dents? I'm not sure if there's any zombie movies, but I'm sure there's something scary." He gave him a small smile. He put his hands over 2D's on his shoulder, holding them.

Stuart smiled widely "Really Muds? I'd love to..." he held him and pulled him up lifting him from the floor. "We have all day ahead before the recording tomorrow.." he couldn’t believe Murdoc was asking him out... from all people "You want to go to the cinema or watch it here in Kong...?" he asked expectantly

"Oi!" He chuckled, "Put me down you bloody giant. Let’s go out, I don't wanna get interrupted by our band mates, yeah? Come on." Once 2D put him down he grabbed 2D's hand and leaded him out of the room.

 


	11. I'm Sorry

Murdoc sat there pouting as 2D left. Russel just shook his head, laughing.

"Looks like you don't have much control over that kid anymore." Murdoc just clenched his jaw. Russel eventually got up and went to the kitchen, leaving Murdoc alone. When he was alone he sighed and walked outside, to be met by Cortez. The bird landed on his arm, scraping his arm again with his talons.

"Fuck Cortez, you always scratch the shit out of me." He laughed when the bird cawed and ruffled its feathers. He looked up and happened to see 2D, smoking on one of the balconies.

Murdoc smirked and whispered to Cortez. The bird cawed and flew from his arm. Murdoc leaned against the nearby wall watching his bird fly up towards 2D. Cortez cawed again and landed in front of 2D, looked at him and fluffing his feathers.

Stuart was thinking when Cortez appeared. He smiled at the bird "God, you scared me..." he went closer the bird... "Hey little mate, what are you doing here? Your owner must be looking for you.." he whispered to him trying to sound friendly.

The bird cawed at 2D and hopped closer. He fluffed his feathers and suddenly grabbed the lit cigarette 2D had. He quickly hopped off the balcony and flew back down to Murdoc, landing on his arm once more. Murdoc grabbed the cigarette from the bird and took a puff. He then looked up, expecting to see 2D looking. He smirked and gave a confident wave to the boy.

Stuart flinched when he came near his face, god he thought he would pluck his eye for fucks sake.

But as the bird just stole his cigar rete he smiled. Murdoc should have told him to do it. He waved back to Murdoc in the same confidence. He wanted to know if the bird was coming back so he lit another cigar rete. He wouldn’t go down now with this "wireless phone" game.

Murdoc smoked on his cigarette for a moment, smiling up at the singer. He slowly took off his upside cross necklace, holding it in his hands for a moment, turning it over. He almost didn't want to give it away, it was his infamous necklace, but the singer seemed upset before and that was all he had to give. He didn't want the kid made at him.

He handed it to the bird for it to grab. The bird obediently took the necklace chain in it's beak, waiting for Murdoc.

"Take that to him, don't take it for yourself you little shit. I know how you like shiny things." He chuckled and scratched the birds neck. It looked at him for a moment, then flew off with the cross. He puffed on the cigarette as he watched him go back up to the balcony.

The bird hopped onto the ledge next to 2D, the necklace in his beak. He ruffled his feathers as he waited for 2D to take it.

Stuart let the cigarrete fell when he saw it. He took it in his hands putting it inside his pocket as he thought he wasn’t allowed to wear and thanked Cortez with a tiny scratch in his feathers.

The singer needed to think quickly in some way to say thank you. "You stay here..." he told the bird and quickly ran inside grabbing a post it note writing something inside. He went back and glued it on the bird's beak "Take it to your owner.. Please" he asked gently.

inside the paper he wrote "I'm sorry" was the best way to apologize after being a dick with him.

Murdoc saw 2D take the necklace then run inside. He pursed his lips wondering what the singer was doing, when he came back out and gave the bird something. The bird jumped off the balcony and glided back down. He landed on Murdoc's arm and Murdoc grabbed the note from him. He read it and smiled. He looked back up at 2D and gave him a wide smile and a wave.

He stuck the note in his pocket and let Cortez fly off again. With a final smile at 2D, he walked back inside, satisfied that 2D wasn't made at him anymore. He walked to the recording room and grabbed his bass. He turned the volume up loud and started plucking the strings, playing the bass line to their song "Sound Check (Gravity)" from their first album. He loved when 2D sang that song, it was one of his favorites.

Stuart smiled at him back. So they were in good terms after all. he quickly gave up smoking and decided to go back inside as Cortez didn’t seem he was coming back.

Once inside he heard the distinct sound that only one instrument could make. Murdoc with El Diablo. he smiled to that and shoved his hand on his pocket, feeling the cross inside it. he soon headed to the recording room.

Murdoc was busy playing a bit louder than he should but he didn’t mind... He recognized the song almost immediately clearing his throat while he began singing.

_Gravity on me never let me down gently..._

He quite enjoyed the bass line of the song, even if he didn’t sing much in this one... but it was quite like White light, Murdoc didn’t sing much but he could feel the energy he had while saying just a few words.

He leaned closer him entering the room and placing both hands on his shoulders as he was with his back turned to him, sitting on a revolving chair.

Murdoc hadn't heard 2D come in, so when the singer placed his hands on his shoulders he jumped, which also caused him to stop playing. He quickly turned to see 2D. He smiled.

"Hey, Bluebird." He turned the volume down a bit on the amp and continued plucking the strings. "Did you like my messenger raven? I thought for sure the little bastard would take off with my necklace, but I'm glad he didn't. I'm going to have to give him a rat later or something as a thank you." He chuckled.

Stuart smiled to him "Well I thought he would pluck my eye but that's okay, I liked it.... He's really clever Muds, were you who taught him?" he held his cross in his pocket, Murdoc really trusted him cross to his bird, it was a tiny act but showed Stuart something.

"I'm sure there are rats around the cemetery here in Kong mate..." he knew that crows eat almost anything so wouldn’t be hard to find something to please Cortez.

Murdoc smiled and looked down at his bass as he plucked. "Sorta. The bloody beast listens to me sometimes, and sometimes he doesn't. I'm happy he actually listened this time. And yeah, I'm sure he'll find something."

He looked up at Stuart. "Are you nervous about the video shoot?" He had seen the kids reactions when Noodle had been talking about it and when he had been teasing him. The kid didn't seem to be happy about it.

"He even listened to me..." Stuart smiled noticing it, Cortez only knew him for some days and he already trusted him enough to obey.

The video was just something he didn’t want to talk about right now "A bit, Muds." he said looking down. The right word was jealous. "Are you?" Of course he wasn't but Stuart felt like asking. He rubbed the back of his arm nervous. "Has been a while we don't record and... I'm afraid of disappointing Noodle." he lied a bit, it was fifty percent truth.

Murdoc shook his head, "We'll be fine mate. I'm sure it'll turn out great. Try not to think too much about, yeah?" He looked back up at Stu. He could sense some hesitation in 2D's voice.

"You got my necklace right? As long as you got that, everything will be fine, bluebird. Satan hasn't failed me yet." He chuckled and nodded to a seat across from him.

"Sit down and stay awhile. We can practice together."

Stuart smiled to his words. "Yes.." he nodded and took off the necklace from his pocket holding it not giving back Murdoc yet. It would have been a shame if Cortez stole it.

he sit on the revolving chair of the studio "What you wanna practice, Muds...?" he said looking at the cross on his fingers.

Murdoc gave him a sly smile, "What else except Feel Good Inc? This is your chance to get a close up and personal view of my amazing bass playing skills. Who knows, maybe I'll even sing a bit of it for you." He winked. He liked seeing 2D with his cross, a small warmth blossomed in his chest. He decided to tease the boy more.

"I can even practice some of that thrusting I'm gonna be doing tomorrow. Satan knows I can't practice on you for a little bit." He snorted and stuck his tongue out at the kid.

Stuart blushed hard, his tone of voice was really seducing. "Okay Muds..." he smirked back "Make me a show...pretend I'm one of the ... birds you'll be performing to tomorrow." he spit the word with jealousy. "I'll tell ya if I like it or not.." he teased back.

He stood up and placed the cross around his neck again, resting his hands on the back of his neck pulling him close as he thought Murdoc would record with it tomorrow.

"Go on... sex god... _surprise me."_ he told him against his lips and as he was taller Murdoc had to look up to see his eyes. he didn’t kiss him " "and yeah you can't bite me Muds." he leaned closer into his ear "But it doesn’t mean we can’t fuck...." he knew his sore arse wouldn’t appear in the video.

He sat down on the chair again waiting with a smile.

A shiver went down Murdoc's spine and he gulped. He hadn't been expecting that from 2D at all. He was thrown slightly off his game. He watched 2D for a moment and shook his head and laughed, "Nice try Dents. I'm not touching that ass of yours for a week, mainly so I don't bite you but also because I don't think your ass could handle another night anytime soon. And just for snarky little remark, no blowjobs from me either. You're gonna be crying for me in a week." He tilted his chin up playfully in triumph, hoping he threw the kid off his game this time.

He fiddled with the nearby recording equipment so it'd play all the parts of Feel Good Inc except the vocals and bass parts. He turned and looked straight into 2D's eyes as he started strumming when it was needed. He played the iconic bass line, seductively moving his hips, not breaking eye contact with the singer.

"Let's see who's gonna cry Mu'doc..." He said with a smirk. "You'll miss fucking me... You'll miss biting me, you'll miss marking me...no touching Muds." he told him seriously ‘cuz he would miss just the same, before he played the right parts.

Stuart smiled and almost drooled... how was him supposed to focus in singing when Murdoc would do what he was doing in front of him in the middle of the recording? He bit his lip, Murdoc was just sexy as fuck... and this time it was only for him. He crossed his legs to hide his noticeable erection coming. He didn’t blink to watch Murdoc.

Murdoc would fuck him all day if he could and he knew the kid was right, he'd miss it all. But now it was a battle of wills, and Murdoc was gonna win.

He smiled faintly when he noticed the kid mesmerized by his moves. He saw him cross his legs and he knew he was winning already. He licked his lips, kept eye contact and slowly made his way to the singer sitting there. He got right in front of him and kept moving his hips. He winked at the kid and smiled. Before they knew it the entire song was finished without 2D singing at all and Murdoc was just standing there looking down at the singer, a smirk on his face. He was excited and breathing a little harder.

"You forgot to sing, little blueberry." He whispered, keeping his smirk.

Stuart blinked twice "I-I'll sing tomorrow... let's save my voice for it... okay...?" He stuttered and swallowed hard barely remembering the lyrics or his own name. His hands trembled to touch him bailing into fists and he licked his lips... mouth becoming dry. Murdoc won, he was irresistible...

"Just.. Just promise you'll do something like that only for me... when we're able to fuck.. please...?" he really liked it, much more than he thought he would. he leaned closer with begging eyes almost kissing him "Please...?" when he did it his cock ached as it was hard and he pressed his body on it, letting out a soft moan only Murdoc heard.

Why the fuck did Noodle had to create such a seductive bass line?

Murdoc kept his smirk feeling victorious; he put his hand down under his chin, bringing his thumb up to play with his lips. Then he let go and walked back to put his bass away. He turned back and walked slowly and seductively back to 2D, keeping his eyes on him again. He got close to him once more, standing in front of him, looking down.

"I promise." He pushed his hips forward slightly, wanting to tease the boy more. He was gonna make him break, he loved this power he held over the singer. He bent down slightly and grabbed the singer’s hands, bringing them up and placing them on his own hips underneath his shirt. He continued keeping his eyes on the singer.

Stuart bit his lip, it wasn’t fair. The singer would never be able to do something like that as he was just too awkward and wouldn’t look any sexy even if he tried hard.

Stuart kept looking up at him and his hands grabbed his hips and pulled him down, forcing Murdoc to sit on his lap and the singer to open his legs. He gasped when he did that, Murdoc wasn’t heavy and he hitting him with his weight was delightful. He moaned lowly again. "Muds... we can't...." he stared into his eyes "Fuck, _I'm so in love with you.."_ He whispered the words, already breaking.

Murdoc chuckled when 2D pulled him down. He loved how easy he was to break. He rocked his hips forward into 2D. He was hard himself but he was enjoying seeing his singer like this, the painful hard on was worth it.

He got close to 2D, lips not quite touching, similar to how 2D did it to him earlier. He smiled darkly. He said the words slowly and seductively, whispering, _"I love you too."_

Stuart couldn’t handle anymore all that teasing. Murdoc told him he loved him, how good was that? He leaned closer and kissed him. He didn’t care if they couldn’t... Murdoc was hard as rock rolling his hips on him.

He cupped his face and began snogging with him. Was all his fault, he danced, teased... Stuart felt blessed to have such a lewd man with him. He pulled him closer by his hips pressing both erections together. He wanted to kiss Murdoc till the world ends. But no biting.

Murdoc wasn't surprised when Stuart kissed him and even moaned slightly when he pulled him closer and pushed them against each other. He'd won and he felt amazing, but he knew he needed to stop this.

He pulled away, panting and resting his head on 2D's shoulder, "Christ... this was a bad idea. I took myself down in the process of trying to break you, Dents." He laughed.

"But I can't fuck ya dents, I'm too rough on you. We gotta keep you clean or that little girl is going to be very upset and she's a little terrifying when she's upset." He thought back to when he'd eaten the last of one of her favorite snacks. Nearly broke his arm.

"Almost all of your ideas are bad Mu'doc.. the worst part is that I like most of them..." Stuart panted coming back to his normal, his heart was racing.... he thought for a second... "So I challenge you for another thing... It doesn’t have to be now.." he smirked catching his breath.

He looked at him "You say you're too rough on me right...? How about a day... that..." he looked down blushing "Well you don’t be that rough to me and... _we make love instead of just fucking_...?" he asked looking down, he couldn’t look at him in the eye.

"I mean, have you ever made love to someone Muds...?" he knew he took parts in orgies as he said, but and the other hand? He bit his lip. This way he wouldn’t be that hurt in bed right?

Murdoc was surprised by this request from the singer. He thought about it, biting his lip. He'd never had anyone ask that of him, obviously, so he didn't quite know how the two differed.

"I suppose we could at some point... I guess I don't really understand the difference Dents. Sex is sex, right? I'm not that cultured in love or anything like that, Stu." He frowned, feeling a little embarrassed and disappointed in himself because he couldn't give the singer what he wanted.

"And I don't care what you say, bluebird, your ass is so chewed on right now, I'm not touching it till it heals, you'll have to find another way to get your rocks off." He crossed his arms, standing his ground. He was still trying to work out what the difference was to making love and shagging. He growled, even more embarrassed now.

Stuart was kinda expecting for that answer... Murdoc shouldn’t know as he never loved someone before right..? He slowly controlled himself and his boner.

"Making love is.... something you do when you're in love Muds... It isn't just two horny bodies... it happens when you actually feel something towards the other person..." he smiled swallowing hard, Murdoc seemed upset by his stupid idea.

"It can be tender and with praising... and full of meaning and care... I know I'm sounding like i want you to have my virginity but." he tried to joke... "Making love is as good as shagging, you just go a bit slower and cover the other person with love while making them yours...." he tried his best to explain but still sounded a bit stupid.

He looked down "It was a silly idea ... I'm sorry..." he really wanted to make love to Murdoc even him not knowing what it was. They just shagged like rabbits till now.

"And if you don’t want to touch me, please stop teasing... you know I can’t resist you..." now Murdoc won and his face blushed hard.

Murdoc thought about Stuart's explanation. Making love sounded a little dull and terrifying to him. Going slow only meant more time to think about what he was doing while he was doing it. It also meant more time for Stuart to know he didn't know how to act like that and to become extremely disappointed. He'd have to do a bit of research first.

"Uh... it sounds nice Bluebird. Give me a little time to think about it yeah?" He got up off of Stuart adjusting his pants a little. He looked away from him, towards his bass, "Sorry, Stu. I'm a little new to all of this." He bit his lip wondering how disappointed Stu was with him now.

Stuart shook his head for that "That's okay Muds... it's just a suggestion, you can deny it too if you’re not ready..." he smiled to him. he wasn’t disappointed to that, he was just annoyed he teased him that way and they wouldn’t have how to anything about it.

"Don’t feel bad for that... I may be rushing things a little I'm sorry.." he told him standing up as his ass was really sore and already bothering him.

"Let's do something right...? This time we can’t fuck, let's try to... I dunno.... do couple things... to see if we're okay with this relationship....isn’t it all sex right?" he smiled at him turning his face to look at him. "Hey I don’t love you any less cuz of that..." he reassured him rubbing his nose against the Satanist. He would be patient.

Murdoc blushed when 2D rubbed his nose against his. 2D always knew how to do something adorable to ease the mood. He gave him a quick smile. The kid had a point, they weren't just shagging anymore. He had to step up his game... something else he's never had to do before.

"Uh, yeah! I'm down for that. D-do you want me to take you out on a date? Is that what you mean?" Is that what couples did? They'd do dates? Murdoc started panicking again. He was really shit at this.

Stuart chuckled at that and blushed... Murdoc was really trying it was so cute.... "well... I dunno... if you want to..." he smiled warmly "I'm talking about like, watching movies together,  theatre, go to the park, even for an ice cream or feeding Cortez Muds... anything I would be pleased to do with you, not only shag..." he placed both hands on his shoulders rubbing them "We already live together and to all the sorts of things together right...? I was just thinking about another way of bonding... as you're already a huge part of my life... making music and stuff..." he kissed his forehead happy Murdoc was actually saying yes to his idea.

Murdoc nodded, enjoying the little kiss on the forehead. "Yeah, I think I can do that. I've never really bonded before, but I'm willing to give it a shot for ya Stu." He thought about what they could go do. He wanted to treat the kid now or else he was gonna be too focused on jumping his bones.

"You wanna... go see a movie Dents? I'm not sure if there's any zombie movies, but I'm sure there's something scary." He gave him a small smile. He put his hands over 2D's on his shoulder, holding them.

Stuart smiled widely "Really Muds? I'd love to..." he held him and pulled him up lifting him from the floor. "We have all day ahead before the recording tomorrow.." he couldn’t believe Murdoc was asking him out... from all people "You want to go to the cinema or watch it here in Kong...?" he asked expectantly

"Oi!" He chuckled, "Put me down you bloody giant. Let’s go out, I don't wanna get interrupted by our band mates, yeah? Come on." Once 2D put him down he grabbed 2D's hand and lead him out of the room.


	12. Date

He grabbed his wallet, a jacket, and waited for 2D to grab his stuff. He guided the boy out the door and to the Geep. He had the singer sit in the passenger seat while he drove. He got them to the cinema, walking in together. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been to a cinema, he was a little excited. “Alright, Dents. What do you want to see?"

Stuart looked over... "I can’t decide Muds... you asked me on a date so you choose." The singer wasn’t the best one to take decisions. That was why Murdoc was the leader in the end. "I'll buy popcorn." he said going to the queue.

Murdoc frowned, he had no bloody idea what any of these movies were. He look for the ones rated R and chose one that sounded the scariest. He felt a little paranoid, as if everyone was watching him. He put the collar on his jacket higher.

After he obtained the tickets, he walked over to 2D, looking for the theater they needed to enter. He wanted to sit down as quickly as possible. "Did you get the popcorn? Drinks?"

Stuart turned with a big bucket of popcorn and one coke. "Yeah shall we go?" He was almost letting everything fall from his hands as he was really clumsy. He followed him to the room.

Stuart was stupid, lots of people in the queue were looking at him too, whispering how he was strange, about his eyes his height, that he was unhealthy thin... some mothers even pulled their child far from him. Unfortunately, he was used to that.

Murdoc frowned looking at the singer. "Give me the popcorn before you spill it." He grabbed it from 2D's hands. He looked at the drink in his hand, he looked for a second one.

"Did... did you only get one drink? Why would 2 grown men get one drink? Why don't you just tell everyone I bend you over all the time?" He hissed angrily. He realized what he'd just said, letting his nerves get the best of him. He brought himself back down to normal.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sorry Stu. I don't care about the drink issue, I'm just a little nervous. All these people around me are making me a little nervous.” He growled at a couple kids staring at 2D.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" The kids turned and ran off. Murdoc turned back to 2D and tried to give him a smile.

"Come on." He guided them to their seats.

Stuart flinched at his comment "I bought it for you... I wouldn’t drink." he frowned a bit. And he meant that, he was still a bit nervous about the recording tomorrow and their date. He wasn’t really feeling like eating. "I'm sorry..." he mumbled and looked down afraid to angry him even more beginning walking.

"That's okay Muds... people always act like this when they see me..." He smiled to him a bit sad "I don’t care." he lied but was happy Murdoc defended him. Maybe dating was a bad thing in the end.

Murdoc felt bad for his outburst, he didn't mean that at all. He needed to fix this immediately. He brought Stu to the very top row behind everyone. They remained quiet and it was incredibly awkward. He waited nervously as the lights went out.

When they finally went out, he brought his arm around 2D's shoulders, squeezing his arm gently. Then he made himself lean over and kissed 2D's cheek. He stopped himself from cringing at how sappy of a move that was, he really hoped it was worth it and 2D liked it. He leaned up and whispered in his ear "Sorry bout earlier..."

Stuart smiled to him blushing "That's okay Muds... I'm nervous too..." He kissed his cheek back loving how sappy he acted "I know how hard you're trying..." He whispered to him poking his nose. He rested his head on his shoulder feeling a bit better.

Murdoc blushed and smiled to the nose boop. He kept his arm around 2D as he put his head on his shoulder, rubbing up and down his arm the entire movie. This is nicer than he thought it'd be. He didn't have to worry about any staring when they sat in the back and it was dark.

The movie turned out to be incredibly gory and scary. Murdoc yawned a few times, this kind of stuff wasn't his favorite, but hopefully 2D was enjoying it. During some of the movie, he would munch on some of the popcorn then feed 2D a piece or two.

The last memories Murdoc had of movies were not very pleasant. Normally he ended up doing a blowjob or something of the sort with the person who was with him, paying no attention to anything in the movie.

This time they only kept up with soft, calm kisses, holding hands ... which wasn’t a problem for the Satanist because different from the previous times he liked the company he had with him, more than just messing around. He was happy to see his smile.

Stuart was actually really interested in the movie his black eyes widening all the time

Eventually he yelped in the scary scenes and gladly accepted the popcorn Murdoc gave him. he gently rested his hand on his knee and smiled to him from time to time. He was really trying. "Next time we'll do something you like..." he whispered to him promising.

Murdoc smiled, "I'm happy you're happy Dents." He squeezed his shoulder. The bad thing was that what Murdoc liked to do was sex or get drunk off his ass and his favorite movies involved a lot of different porn ... That was very unpleasant to say to the singer about himself.

After they finished the movie, they walked down the street instead of heading straight back to Kong. Murdoc suggested they go grab some actual food or something. There were some small restaurants nearby including a small walking mall.

"You need to actually eat Stu." He demanded as he lit a cigarette. "I don't want you passing out tomorrow."

Stuart bit his lip. Now he was a bit less nervous and wanted to eat. "I wasn’t expecting you taking me out to eat too.... how romantic Muds~" He teased a bit.

"How about that one...?" He pointed to a restaurant that looked nice and not really fancy. The truth was that Stuart was avoiding the idea, so people wouldn’t tell him he couldn’t enter in the restaurant due to his appearance Or another people looking at him oddly and choosing to sit far from his table.

However, Murdoc made him confident, made him a little less ashamed of himself.

Murdoc snorted and nodded, "I'm far from romantic... but good choice Dents." He stomped on the butt of his cigarette after throwing it on the ground.

They walked over, with Murdoc guiding Stuart into the restaurant. They got a booth in the far corner. Murdoc looked around at the slightly busy place. He was getting a little nervous again.

When the waitress came by she seemed a little taken aback by the two men. Murdoc gave her a charming smile, which seemed to put her at ease, and ordered the strongest drink they had, which was a margarita. They wouldn't let him have only the tequila so he begrudgingly went with the margarita. Then he ordered a cheeseburger with chips. He looked at 2D. "What do you want Stu?"

"Same as you but with a beer for me..." he tried to smile to the waitress that saw his lack of teeth and grimaced. She quickly turned around going away.

Stu sighed fidgeting with his fingers nervously. He wasn’t in the mood for drinking, they would record on the next day and he couldn’t be hangover.

"So.... ready for tomorrow?" He cracked a smile to break the silence that was making Murdoc even more nervous he could tell.

Murdoc was happy for the conversation. He had started playing with his fork, flicking scraps of paper at other patrons. He put it away when 2D started talking and gave him a smile.

"You know I'm ready, I was born ready Dents. Stage, video, recording, whatever it is related to music, I'm ready. You?" He asked when he looked over to see the person making his drink at the bar across the restaurant.

"Can't have any bloody straight hard alcohol cause we aren't sitting at the bar, gotta have that stupid drink. HEY!" He shouted at the guy starting to mix the drink, to which he looked up startled at Murdoc. "Yeah, you! Don't be a wanker, add more tequila to my drink!!" At this point the whole place was staring at him, but he chose to ignore it. He looked back to 2D, waiting for his answer.

Stuart just curled in his place terribly embarrassed. His face was red. If Murdoc was acting that way without booze he imagined him drunk.

"Yeah I am.. I was thinking about recording drunk or high... what do you think? It fits in Noodle's idea" His eyes pleaded for him to stop shouting for Christ sake. He just needed to numb his head from those women around Murdoc while they recorded.

He saw 2D curl in on himself embarrassed. Oops. He looked around at the rest of the restaurant noticing everyone looking at them. He scowled at everyone till they turned back. To their own business. He looked back at 2D and shook his head.

"No. I know how you are when you're drunk or high, you can't remember what you're supposed to be doing which you already have a hard time doing anyways." A waitress brought them their drinks to which Murdoc gave the woman another charming smile.

"Did he add more tequila?" She smiled and nodded, "Thanks, love." He turned back to 2D as he drank the margarita. She wasn't kidding, it was strong with tequila.

"Besides, we'll be right next to each other. You can just look at me if you get nervous yeah?" He winked at 2D while feeling ridiculous sipping on a margarita.

Stuart uncurled himself a bit when everyone went back to their business. He sighed remembering how it was to go out with Murdoc. Another times Russel and Noodle would yell at him back when he had those types of behavior but Stuart was silent and took all for him. It was a good night but Murdoc seemed to be permanently angry and that sometimes made the singer think it was his fault.

He saw him taking that margarita. Murdoc would be drunk in a blink of an eye. And he hated the way he smiled charmingly to her. "I'll do it okay..." he promised "You that shouldn’t be drinking to have a hangover tomorrow and be unable to... thrust" he joked chuckling. Mood lifting a bit.

Murdoc smiled at Stuart, "Please Blueberry, I am always hangover or drunk. I think I'll be fine, plus I will always be good to thrust." He snorted.

Their food came a few moments later and Murdoc slowly ate a bit, making sure Stuart was eating.

" I'm sure you got it Dents. You're good at performing on stage, you haven't messed up yet. I'm sure you'll be fine."

Stuart smiled to him eating "Yeah besides I won't be properly sing it's just lipsynk..." he shrugged. "My brain isn't the best Muds..." he smiled "Thank you..." his face was all dirty with cheese and he looked for a moment to how odd was the format of his bite as he didn't have front teeth.

Murdoc laughed and rolled his eyes, "Christ Dents." He reached across the table and wiped the cheese of his face with his thumb. He then put it in his mouth.

"Your brain is fine... well... maybe not fine, but it's good enough to do things without drugs. Do you know how many times I've taken care of your ass after you got high? Take it from an ex-speed freak, you're much better without it. If you need a drink before hand we can do that. You're just... more spaced when you're high." He took another drink, nearly done with what he had.

Stuart welcomed his thumb. Maybe he was right after all. He knew Murdoc took care of him plenty when he puked after being too high. He looked down a bit ashamed and began eating his cheeseburger silently hoping Murdoc wouldn't drink more after that glass.

Murdoc's nerves were feeling a little better after the drink. That guy really did add quite a bit of tequila. He had a nice little buzz. He didn't want to overdo it though, or he'd be fucking Stu in the bathroom again.

He rested his head in his hands and stared at Stuart. He had a small smile on his face. He was enjoying the kid’s hair again, he noticed it was something he liked to fixate on when he was drinking. He also liked his eyes. He stared at the blackness and noticed the little red from the blood in them.

Stuart blushed a bit "Whot? Is there more cheese in my face Muds..?" He quickly asked finding odd that drunk smile. For the people around he knew that the 2 freaks were a couple too after him staring for so long... Stuart didn't mind but he thought that was another reason for people restart judging once again.

Murdoc just shrugged to Stuart's question, "No, silly... I just like your hair. It's beautiful." He reached across and ruffled 2D's hair roughly. He liked the contrast between his skin color and 2D's hair.

He looked over to see people staring at them from at the table next to them. He gave them a large smile, hand still in 2D's hair. He didn't care, he was in a great mood now.

"Isn't his hair beautiful?" The couple looked at each other, then the woman looked back at Murdoc and nodded in agreement. He gave her a charming smile. She giggled and turned back to the guy she was with, who was less than pleased.

"See 2D? Other people like your hair too... but unfortunately for them, it belongs to me." He looked back at 2D, smiling at him, looking possessive.

Stuart yelped when he felt him touching his hair roughly. Murdoc was making him really uncomfortable. He blushed and placed his cheeseburger down.

"I've lost hunger. Can we please go home?" Murdoc was drunk and making him really embarrassed in front of everyone now. He didn't even reach half of his beer.  He would be pleased if they were at home and alone. Not there. He didn't like people staring.

Murdoc frowned, "You wanna go home already, Stu? Why? We're having fun! You haven't even finished your beer! Eat some more, stay awhile. We're on a date my little blueberry." He brought his hand back and continued to stare at 2D, a smile still on his face.

"You know," he started, "I never liked to go out to eat, too many bad memories at diners and such, but do you remember when you just woke up from your coma? The first thing you wanted was a sodding milkshake. The nearest place to get one was a diner and you wouldn't take no for an answer, even while your eyes were bleeding and half your face was gone." He shrugged, remembering back to that day. "I finally said 'fuck it' and went and grabbed you one. Then you drank it and then puked it all back up on me at the hospital." He laughed. He had been so pissed at the time, but it was funny now.

Stuart just sighed. He wouldn't be able to fight with Murdoc with him in that state. So he silently went back to eating.

He smiled hearing the story... He couldn't remember much from that his head was just hurting so much..."I remember quite a bit Muds... think I lost too much blood in the occasion. Can't remember why I wanted a goddamn milkshake in first place. Sorry for puking at you.. And thanks for that.. ." he told him even sounding dumb to say now after so many years. He finished the rest of his cheeseburger so Murdoc would stop complaining he didn't eat.

Murdoc snorted, "Well I did hit you with my car so I supposed I deserved it. I even told you that you shouldn't have a milkshake, you'd just been in a coma for a year. Nope. Kept fucking asking." He laughed. "Oh but I did learn during that car ride that you played keyboards so I suppose it was a good thing."

Murdoc looked at 2D and smiled when he finished his burger. The kid never finished any of his food. "Let me help you out Stu." He reached over and grabbed his beer, downing the rest of it real quick. He stuck his long tongue out playfully at Stu and looked at him with half lidded eyes. Murdoc was in a good mood. "You mind driving us home Dents?"

"Not at all Mu’doc" well Stuart wasn't in a good mood. He stood up and went to pay the bill himself as he didn't want the waitress coming back. Everyone looked at him when he was going to pay the bill and he felt like puking from anger from Murdoc. However, he took a lot of deep breaths and knew that he wanted that in the first place. Murdoc was trying and he would give him a chance. Maybe it was just a bad occasion. Wouldn't happen again.

He came back with the warmest of smiles with another can of beer he bought as Murdoc had half of his "shall we go...?" He asked softly looking at him.

Murdoc smiled and nodded. He stood up quickly hitting the table on accident, making a loud noise. That caused everyone to look at them away. Murdoc laughed and put his hands up, "It's okay people. Nothing’s broken."

He put his arm around Stuart to walk out with him. He started singing their Clint Eastwood song, as they started leaving the restaurant, "I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad, I got sunshine in a bag, I'm useless but not for long. The future is coming on!" He didn't care if he was butchering it horribly. He could sing all day. As they made it back outside, he turned to Stuart expecting him to sing with him.

Stuart finally gave up to his stupid boyfriend. If that was how it was gonna be it was how it was gonna be. He drank his beer all at once tossing it on the trashcan singing out loud with an unnecessary heavy accent and smiling swaying with Murdoc. He pulled him even closer and stopped struggling. Then he decided to start the rap part to see if Murdoc would follow him "finally someone let me outta my cage..."

Murdoc laughed and excitedly held on to Stuart, "Now time for me is nothing 'cause I'm counting no age, now I couldn't be there, now you shouldn't be scared!" He started laughing too hard to continue, he knew he sounded awful, but he's glad Stuart had joined him.

While walking back to their car, Murdoc pulled Stuart into a nearby alley, grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him down to him, giving him a deep kiss. Apparently, he was in a really good mood.

"I actually had fun Dents." He said pulling away from Stu. "I'm not the type of boy that will sleep with you on the first date though." He joked and snorted.

Stuart welcomed the kiss smiling... "Glad you had... I had too..." Murdoc was much easier to deal drunk than sober he would say. It was a funny date... to say at least. Eventually he would learn how to deal with that... all Murdoc wanted was fun and Stuart gave him. "No problem Muds... even if there wasn't this whole Dirty Harry thing I wouldn't mind just go home with you without sex...." He told him softly going back to the road.

Murdoc continued walking back with Stuart. He smiled at the sweet comment and pinched the kid's cheek playfully. "Awww, such a sweet Stu Pot." He teased. "You got yourself a deal, now take me home!" He yelled out as he hopped into the passenger seat of the Geep.

He turned up the radio loud as they drove out, blasting some old metal from a radio station. He laughed and stuck his long tongue out at anyone that bothered glancing at them.

When they made it home, he looked at Stuart as he climbed out of the Geep, not bothering to use the door, "My place your yours tonight~?"

"You chose Muds..." He told him going outta of the Geep using the door as a normal person. Murdoc was in a great mood and he wish they could fuck... But it was better than a grumpy old man complaining in his ear. "I don't mind as long as it's with you." He blushed a bit sounding sweet.

Murdoc laughed, "What’d I tell you about being so sweet? Think about my teeth once in a while." He pretended to be offended.

"Let’s go to your room this time." He said as he opened the door.

"What are you going to his room for?" Noodle asked, standing near the door having just walked from the kitchen with a snack to sit at the couch. She obviously heard him when he walked in, as he hadn't expected her to be there. Murdoc froze, starting to panic. He looked at 2D, "uh...."

What the hell was that girl doing awake? Stuart had to think quickly "Murdoc told me he wanted to talk to me... some ideas for the videos. He's drunk Noods you know how he talk and no stop when he drinks..." He leaned closer the girl "he gets aggressive when I tell him no..." he went back to his place "So we'll talk a bit than head for bed...." He yawned "I'm tired, has been a long day..." this part he didn't lie at all.

Murdoc nodded quickly as if that would prove they were telling the truth. Noodle watched them for a moment and nodded to 2D.

"Okay. Goodnight. See you tomorrow for filming!" She smiled and walked to the couch to watch some show.

Murdoc watched her walk away then quickly grabbed Stu and ran to his room with him. He laughed, "Good lord that was close... hey, what do you mean I'm aggressive when you tell me no?! I am not... am I?" He stood up and looked at 2D.

Seemed that everyone in that house believed Stuart's lies as much as they believed Murdoc's. That was really close.

"You.... used to be. Sometimes. Now I told her that just to knock her off... you improved a lot, Muds..." He smiled to him. Murdoc wasn't suppose to hear that. He had been aggressive just some times with Stuart not complying and Murdoc drunk. "You... hit me many times when drunk... But that's in the past now..." He smiled a bit sad.

Murdoc looked down, bringing his hand to his the back of his neck and rubbing it awkwardly. The kid had a point, he used to do that stuff a lot. However, he hadn't hurt Stuart in a while... a least not on purpose.

"Sorry Stu..." He said. He had no idea what else to say, sorry didn't even cut it. Once again he was filled with dark thought, wondering why Stu was with him in the first place, since he treated him like garbage. He tried looking at Stuart's room to keep from depressing himself. He liked Stuart's room, it was big with the walls filled with keyboards and posters, he even had a small Buddhist shrine on the far side.

"Hey that's okay..." He told him quickly, happy that at least Murdoc apologized and didn’t call him a crybaby or got mad.

He placed a hand on his shoulder... "Well before all that happened in the past days... I really thought you hated me. And it hurt. But then... you showed me you can be really... sweet and good when you want. So it was worth all that I went through... just to be with you..." he knew Murdoc had deeper scars than he thought he had... inner demons he had to deal, and that his childhood and his father still haunted him.

Stuart was stupid but he really tried to understand and see Murdoc through his perspective. "I already forgive you, for all that." he smiled still with the memories hurting him. He instinctively rubbed the back of his head... there was still a scar from some stiches he had to take after Murdoc threw him a glass bottle. "If you’re really sorry you won’t repeat right?"

Murdoc bit his lip as Stu turned him to look at him. Then he licked his lips as his mouth suddenly felt dry. He slowly nodded.

"Yeah... I won't repeat it... thanks Stu" he gave the kid a small smile. He suddenly pulled Stuart into a hug. He wouldn't normally do something like that, but he was still buzzed and wanted a hug, so he thought 'fuck it'. Stu deserved a lot more than a hug, but that's all Murdoc could think to do at the moment.

"Thank you, Stu." He whispered as he rested his face into his shoulder.

Stuart was surprised with his sudden act of sweetness. That was what he was talking about, those tiny acts that showed him he cared.

"You're welcome Muds... Anytime you need a hug.." he smiled and kissed his hair softly. slowly he was getting near the Satanist. "Thank you for the night..." he whispered back.

Murdoc lifted his face to look at Stuart, keeping him in the hug. He chuckled, "Did you actually have fun, or are you just saying that? I saw you reactions a few times, I was pretty obnoxious. But I had fun, so thank you for putting up with me dullard."

He rubbed Stuart's back, he was beginning to realize just how nice it was to take it slow sometimes. He could understand why Stu might want it. He hugged Stu closer, he was also beginning to like hugging Stuart.

"Some things are new for me too Muds... no one is perfect..." He whispered to him going a bit lower to rest his head on his shoulder. His hand caressed his black hair. It was a nice sensation, different from the ones they had while shagging, it really meant something.

He kissed softly his temple and nuzzled his face on his shoulder. "It was nice just ‘cuz was with you..." he chuckled. He would get used to his way eventually.

Murdoc turned and kissed Stuart's neck, then moved to his jaw. He placed gentle little kisses along his jaw to his lips, moving back slightly and bringing his hands to cup Stuart's face. He then gave him a deep kiss, while moving his hands back to put in Stuart's hair, gripping gently. His heart was beating like crazy but he kept reminding himself to go slow, that's what Stuart wanted.

Stuart's brows rose. Murdoc was being really gentle with him... a bit slower than his normal... He smiled in the kiss and rested his hands on his waist, not pulling closer or anything, just enjoying how Murdoc was soft.

It was almost something romantic, that Stuart never thought he would actually do. So he melted in the kiss not moaning, but taking deep breaths and calming down. He swore he could feel his own heart on his throat beating so fast.

Murdoc could tell Stuart was enjoying the gentle touches, so he continued. He gently bit Stuart's bottom lip between kisses. He then went back to leaving little kisses on his jaw, then slowly made his way to his neck.

He wanted to bite and leave more hickies but he stopped himself, he kept reminding himself to be gentle. His hands followed him down to Stuart's shoulders. He stopped, but he kept his eyes on Stuart's neck, bringing his hands down to the bottom of Stuart's shirt. He wanted to take his singer's shirt off to continue.

"Can I?" He asked.


	13. Chapter 13

Stuart closed his eyes slightly shivering with his touches. He wanted his whole life that Murdoc was that gentle with him. It felt like a dream.

He thought Murdoc would freak out or become scared to do that, so he remained totally harmless letting the older male take his time and feel comfortable for that.

To his request, he just nodded and lifted his long and bony arms. Murdoc never asked to take off his clothes before, just getting rid of them. He shivered while his emotions took him over. Now he felt how Murdoc must feel when Stuart asked things for him... it felt... good.

Murdoc took Stuart's shirt off and threw it to the floor. He then continued laying little kisses onto his neck and shoulders, his hands resting on Stuart's hips.

His jeans were becoming tight and it took every ounce of his strength not to throw Stu on the bed and fuck him. He gripped his singer’s hips a little too tightly trying to control himself. He kissed his way down Stuart's chest.

When he got lower, he decided to move this to the bed to make this more comfortable. He gently took Stuart's hands and leaded him to the bed. He was starting to get nervous, he started shaking slightly. His fears from earlier started to surface. Stuart would realize he didn't know what he was doing. He bit his lip, trying to calm himself.

Stuart couldn’t help but blush and giggle at those tiny kisses... they didn’t mark like usually, they were just a bit wet and caring. It felt funny against his skin.

Stuart didn’t react at the tight grip on his hips, he knew it was difficult for Murdoc, actually he was doing much better than Stuart thought he would do.

The singer noticed Murdoc getting nervous and held his hand reassuringly. His other hand rested on his face making Murdoc look at him. "Hey... I won't hurt you." he whispered in a soft tone. "If you need to stop, please tell me." he rubbed his nose against his. "I love you Mu’doc." he confessed biting his own lip feeling his hand shaking.

Stuart already knew he didn’t have a clue about what he was doing, but he didn’t mind. He just hoped Murdoc would like it...

Murdoc nodded, reassured by his words, but still slightly nervous. He took a deep breath and continued, smiling at Stuart. He guided Stuart to the bed and had him lay down. He took his own shirt off quickly then slowly kneeled over the singer.

He went back to kissing his chest, hands back on his hips. He made his way down to his navel. He looked up at Stuart with a slight smirk and stuck his tongue in his belly button, teasing the boy slightly. This he knew how to do.

Stuart held a breath and followed Murdoc with his eyes while he went down, praying that he didn’t mark him or lost control. He closed his eyes to his touch and his hand went back to his black hair to calm him down a bit.

When Murdoc reached his navel, he gasped and looked for one of his hands squeezing it to remind him to be slow. He smiled to him sweetly to tell him to go ahead.

Murdoc smiled when Stuart grabbed his hand. He swallowed, still nervous, but feeling better. He squeezed Stu's hand and continued. His other hand gripped his hip still.

He got to Stuart's pants and he slowly unbuttoned them. Then he once again looked up at his singer to see if it was okay that he took them off. His own pants were feeling incredibly tight, but he kept them on so he wouldn't go too fast. He wanted to focus on Stuart instead.

Stuart just smiled to him and nodded allowing him to go further. He mouthed, "I love you" again. He would do that anytime he felt Murdoc nervous to soothe him.

He let go of his hand so Murdoc could use both ones to take his pants off. He was awfully hard but wouldn’t do anything to tease Murdoc not to unfocus him. He bit his lip and closed his eyes once he was released, feeling a relief.

Murdoc felt warmed when the singer mouthed those words. He took his pants and underwear off and threw them away. He stood up and looked over Stuart, enjoying the view. He liked the boys pale skin and his blue hair, blue hair that was everywhere, not just on his head. He always loved how hard the kid was when he touched him... Staring at him was calming.

When he felt ready to move on. He kneeled down, resting between Stuart's legs. He picked up his left leg and started kissing his inner thigh, making his way towards his groin. When he got close, he started on the other leg and made his way down. He kept his eye on Stuart's face the entire time.

Stuart controlled himself not to moan loudly, so he began shaking with Murdoc's touch. His cock eventually throbbed and he gripped the sheets of his bed. He was praising him like the first time they fucked and his body was warm with expectation.

No bites no hickeys, just kisses, and they felt awesome against his skin. He didn’t beg, he didn’t call him, he was in a trance just feeling and thinking about how much he loved the man over him.

Murdoc was ready to continue, smiling when he noticed Stuart gripping the sheets and squirming. He brought himself up to Stuart's cock, keeping his eyes on the singer the entire time. He was getting more excited, wanting to rip his own jeans off.

He gently held his cock with his hand, licking it from the base to the tip as he did so. When he got to the tip, he put his mouth over it and slowly took in more of it. He went up and down at a slow pace, using his tongue to massage at the same time. His hands moved to his thighs at the same time, holding onto him.

Stuart couldn’t help but let out a low moan when Murdoc began sucking him... it was an amazing sensation feeling that warm mouth around his cock "Muds...." he whispered while his legs trembled a bit. He was being gentle even in the blowjob, something he was almost all the time eager to do.

Suddenly the singer had an idea he just hoped that Murdoc wouldn’t mind. He quickly sat up on the bed and focused on him. He loved the blowjob of course but Murdoc deserved that too. Otherwise, he would began moaning and begging and he would lose control easily.

He looked into his eyes deeply and began unbuckling his pants noticing Murdoc was struggling with them so tight. Wasn’t fair only the singer earn attention all the time. He pecked his lips and went to his jawline and neck putting Murdoc on his knees on the bed. Maybe he should show him how to do it a bit do Murdoc would be less afraid...

He felt the singer’s legs tremble and it was a delicious feeling. Stuart tasted amazing, he always thought so since they started having sex. His little moans turned him on so much, he shivered, trying to control himself.

Suddenly, Stuart surprised him by taking control of the situation. He felt a warmth radiate from his chest through his body. He felt relief when his Stuart unbuttoned his pants. He loved the feel of his lips on his jaw. Stuart was so gentle.

Stuart managed to place him lying on his back gently and took off his pants in the process letting Murdoc totally naked.

 He touched Murdoc as he was made of glass. Once with him laying down he smiled and straddled on him. He dared to do another step. He began kissing his neck sweetly like he always did and slowly took his upside down cross from him placing around his own neck.

He smiled and whispered into his ear. _"If you love me, you must trust me..."_ and the singer began going down in a trail of kisses. No bites no hickeys, just kisses till he reached his cock and looked into Murdoc's eyes. The cross shone against the light of the room, he licked his tip slowly to see how Murdoc would react.

Stuart surprised Murdoc by the sudden switch, but welcomed it. When the singer straddled him, he put his hands on his thighs and rubbed them gently. He bit his lip and smiled when the singer took his cross. He looked gorgeous with it.

He held back a whimper as 2D went painfully slow down to his cock. He could feel himself shiver when Stuart looked back up at him. The coldness of the metal against his skin… Seeing him down there with that cross was the hottest thing Murdoc had ever seen. He moaned and arched his back when Stuart licked him. Going that slow had built up so much in Murdoc, the slightest touch drove him wild.

That way Stuart was allowed to drive him crazy and prevent him for losing control and tearing him apart. He loved the way he felt in control and able to please his lover.

Soon he licked his lips, not breaking his eyes away from Murdoc’s member and his eyes. He didn’t waste anymore of their time by waiting, and engulfed Murdoc whole in once.

Stuart was hungry for more than that. He was practically starving for Murdoc's body... as he knew he couldn’t have it.

Stuart slowly slid his mouth down Murdoc’s shaft, sucking gently yet gradually giving him a rougher and more careless blowjob as the minutes went by.

After sucking for a good few minutes. He quickly grabbed ahold of Murdoc’s cock and lifted it slightly, then hung his tongue out of his mouth and slowly licked it from bottom to top. He was enjoying every second of it. Every reaction that came from Murdoc.

Murdoc grunted when Stuart had taken him in, working hard to not go crazy. The singer was driving him absolutely wild, it was the most foreign thing to him. He almost became too overwhelmed and was going to tell Stuart to stop so he could just fuck him, but he remembered him saying he needed to trust him.

As Stuart got rougher, Murdoc got a little louder, gripping the sheets. When the singer stopped for a moment, he took a deep breath, only to be surprised by the licking from bottom to top. He was going to cum a lot quicker if Stuart kept this up. He gulped. "Stuart..." he whimpered and looked at the singer with a pleading look.

Stuart was quick to understand what he meant. He smiled either way, he wanted to drive him mad and did it. The way his name sounded made his cock throb and he shivered. slowly he decided to show him a bit more of care again.

He came closer his face and into his ear "What you want me to do now love, ride you, fuck you. Finish the blowjob? You can chose, Mu’doc..." He asked whispering in a calm tone not really lustful one. He wanted to show Murdoc that he was there to please him too, to ask what he wanted, even calmer and slower than normal. Was his way to tell him how much he loved him.

All the options he gave him wouldn’t hurt any of them, he thought. It was a bit different from Murdoc fucking him but he hoped he didn’t mind. He needed to trust him.

Murdoc caressed Stuart's face, bringing it in front of him. He kissed him gently, letting out a shaky breath after.

"Would your ass be up for riding me? T-then you could go as slow as you needed." He whispered. That way Stuart had more control over the situation, leaving little room for Murdoc to bite or go crazy, and Murdoc could watch him. He didn't do that position often because he liked to be in control, but he trusted the singer.

Murdoc laughed, "Next time we do this, I can ride you, yeah?"

Stuart smiled seeing him laughing. "Of course Muds... I can do it..." he knew if he went slow he would drive Murdoc even more crazy. "Will be a pleasure you riding me..."

Slowly he found their lube as Stuart had bought one for himself. He wet himself and Murdoc's shaft positioning himself over him. He looked down for a moment seeing Murdoc and allowing him to have a full vision of him wearing _his_ cross. He decided to dare a bit more as he knew Murdoc didn’t like not to be in charge.

He grabbed his both wrists against the mattress pressing them with his weight. He leaned closer and licked his lips to tease him "Beg." he ordered looking into his eyes. "Tell me how bad you want me to ride you Mu’doc." he was in the point of sliding on him, just one movement and it was done... he even went down a bit to tease him.

Murdoc let out a small whimper as Stuart told him to beg. He could feel himself at Stuart's entrance, read to slide in, just a little farther. It almost made him want to cry, he wanted to cum so badly. He'd never been this slow with anyone, and it drove him crazy. It drove him even crazier that Stuart was holding him down, he was completely at the singer’s mercy.

He looked up at Stuart, the boy looked beautiful on top of him, naked except for the Murdoc's cross hanging from his neck. He swallowed, his mouth going dry. He shivered and looked directly into Stuart's eyes. The need for Stuart beat the embarrassment of begging, in his mind.

 "P-Please Stu. I need you, I need you more than I can describe. I would go to Hell and back for you if that's what you wanted. You're so fucking stunning, Bluebird. I'm yours forever now. Just... Please." He rambled. He said whatever came to mind first, but he meant every word of it.

Stuart smiled from ear to ear. His tone of voice wasn’t exactly desperately horny he sounded... honest. And beautiful. It was a good way of telling him he actually needed him after so many times that was Stuart who begged him.

Slowly he slid down and bit his lip hard not to moan loud. His bites and hickeys on his rear were burning now, but he didn’t care... he focused in Murdoc’s length filling him up.

"God... I need you so bad..." he whispered once he was with Murdoc totally inside him. He placed a hand on his face with his last dare.

"May I move Mu’doc...?" he asked him with his cock already throbbing with anticipation. In that position he was already hitting his prostate.

Murdoc grunted and moaned as 2D slid down on him. Shit, he wanted to move so badly, but he controlled himself. He knew Stuart was sore, but he also wanted to take it slow like the singer wanted. He felt amazing around Murdoc. He squirmed and bit his lip, letting out shaky breaths. Stuart looked fucking gorgeous sitting on him with that necklace.

"If you don't move, blueberry, I might literally die." He joked, his breath still shaky. He wanted to see Stuart become a moaning mess on his dick.

Stuart soon began moving... he didn't want anyone dying ‘cuz of him... He lifted his rear and let himself down with a little help of gravity. He let out a louder moan when he hit his prostate again. He loved that.

Soon he opened his eyes and began going up and down on a steady and nice pace, guiding Murdoc’s hands to hold his hips, moaning and saying his name like a mantra interlaced with "I love your cock.." "You feel so good inside me.." "Oh God Mu’doc" and some curses... singing as the Bluebird he was.

He fastened the pace bending over the bassist and kissing him like his life depended on it, cupping his face lovingly.

Murdoc loved nothing more than when the singer moaned. His voice was heavenly and so fucking sexy. Murdoc got the pleasure of watching 2D, getting to see his body moving on it's own, every shiver and twitch, his face showing nothing but pleasure, especially when he went all the way down on Murdoc. He talking only made it better. He had to keep himself from slamming up into him. He would repeat a few things for the singer as well.

"Fuck, Bluebird. Your ass is amazing." He kept saying, along with, "Yes, sing for me, Bluebird." When Stuart started kissing him, he held onto the singer’s shoulders, softly rubbing them. His kisses were becoming a little quicker and sloppier, he knew the singer was enjoying himself.

Quickly Stuart broke the kiss when he was reaching his orgasm with a choked moan "Mu’doc..." he said clenching his walls around him and hiding his face on the crook of his shoulder, controlling himself not to bite him, biting the pillow instead. His eyes even watered from pleasure while he messed their abdomens.

He kept moving his hips up and down in order to make Murdoc cum too, even if he was outta breath due to his recent orgasm. "Cum into me Muds... please.." he cried out into his ear with his most pleading and girly voice.

Murdoc could feel him clenching as he came, then 2D whispered for Murdoc to come inside him and he lost it. He lifted his hips up slightly, trying to push himself as far into Stuart as he could go as he came. He wrapped his arms around the singer holding him close as he came, burying his face into the crook of his neck as he swore, and grunted. It felt so amazing, he had to keep himself from biting, clenching his teeth.

When he'd finished he was breathing hard, clutching onto Stuart still. He moved his hands to his hair, petting him gently. He just wanted to stay there for a little longer.

 _"I love you_." He whispered, a little embarrassed.

Stuart closed his eyes to that... he shivered hearing what he said. Murdoc sounded so honest... he just nodded against the pillow and held him close. "I love you too, Mu’doc..." he whispered with a broken voice "I always have." he confessed and gently kissed his neck. It wasn’t that hard going a bit slow... they weren’t hurt and wouldn’t have problems with Noodle at all.

He stood there a bit longer trying to calm himself down. Murdoc was gentle, soft and really showed him he loved and needed him, after all those years Stuart swore he hated him.

 This made the singer's heart melt and he bit his lips to hold back his tears. Murdoc was really trying even not knowing if what he was doing was right. It was really touching.

Murdoc held onto the singer for a while, unmoving, except to pet his hair. He never thought he'd like this kind of closeness, but to be like this with 2D was so calming. He just listened to the singer breathing, feeling the little breathes he let out near his neck.

After a little bit he figured it was time to move, mainly for the singer’s sake since Murdoc was still in him. He rubbed 2D's shoulders.

"Hey, Bluebird." He whispered, not wanting to destroy the calming mood they had. "Do you want to move a bit to a more comfortable position? You can keep laying on me if you want." He smiled and kissed the side of the singer’s head.

Stuart forgot about the whole world for a moment "Oh yeah sorry, sorry..." he went off him and laid on his side hugging him with a large smile, head resting on his chest. He quickly wiped his tears before Murdoc could see them.

"Better now, Muds...?" his ass was killing him but he just smiled. "See? No marks, everything's fine..." he joked with a light chuckle sniffling. His face red and adorable.

Murdoc heard the sniffle and looked at the smiling singer. He wasn't sure if he was crying or not, he knew all to well what that was like. He didn't want his singer crying, so he pulled him close, wrapping him in a large hug.

"You okay, Stu? Did you get hurt?" He whispered, petting his hair again. "That was so amazing Bluebird. You weren't kidding with how nice that could be, love."

"No I didn’t Muds..." he smiled again "I'm just.. so happy you were nice with me... not that other times we shagged you weren’t it’s just..." he looked at him with his eyes shinning. "I know it’s difficult for you and... it means the world to me that ... that you gave me a chance to show you how being slow is good too...." he took a deep breath.

"Mu’doc you've changed... for a better person your way. You asked me out on a date... you showed me you care... I need to recognize... You make me so happy y'know that...?" he chuckled with fresh tears appearing. Murdoc should never have heard good things being told about him.

"Oh God I'm really pathetic aren't I? Crying after an amazing sex just ‘‘cuz I feel loved and cared, sorry Muds..." he wiped his tears again.

Stuart couldn’t help but t think that he could really be the key to finally getting Murdoc to a good place mentally for once in his life.  It wouldn't happen overnight nor would it be easy but Stu would do his damn best to repair the Satanist.

Murdoc was surprised by what the singer said. He didn't know what to say at first. He looked at the singer’s shining eyes and places his hands on either side of his face, using his thumbs to wipe away his tears. Did it really mean that much to Stuart? Murdoc supposed he did change, but he hadn't really thought about it like that.

He smiled at the singer and kept wiping his face. "No, Bluebird. That's not pathetic at all. I know I was pretty cruel to you, so I really did change quite a bit huh? That would definitely be overwhelming.... you're amazing, my little Blueberry. I wish I could have seen it sooner..." he thought for a second.

"Well, actually I did know you were amazing, but I didn't really like it, but now I see how much of a dickhead I was." He kissed him. "You are amazing though, thank you for being patient and for forgiving me all the damned time, even when I don't deserve it." He smiled and brushed his hair back. Then he put his forehead against Stuart's.

"Sorry I'm not the most romantic bloke..." he apologized, he didn't have much practice. He could be charming but not romantic. However, with Stuart, he had plenty of time to practice.

Stuart closed his eyes... he felt his heart racing with his words... "You don’t have to be romantic Muds... you have to be true, and I know you are." he smiled. "Thank you..." he whispered and run his fingers through his hair kissing his forehead. "I promise I'll make you happy... I know I'm not the most wise bloke... But I'll be different from any person that ever came into your life..." he smiled

" _I want to heal you_." beyond loving him he wanted to understand and be the cure of his past scars or even the open wounds. He gently pecked his lips to seal his promise and he didn’t need Murdoc to tell him he would do the same or anything.

For most of his life he did things for him not even receiving a thank you... he did ‘cuz he knew Murdoc needed and no one would do it for him. He slowly rested his head on his chest smiling.

When Stuart put his head on his chest, he smiled and pet his head. He bit his lip nervously with what he said. Stuart wanted to heal him, but Murdoc knew that would be near impossible, the kid was going to be sorely disappointed. Murdoc considered himself so fucked over the years, there was no way anyone could help him... but he was happy that Stuart was willing to try.

He hugged Stuart closely and tightly. "Thank you..." he whispered, kissing his head. He couldn't promise to help the kid either because most of everything wrong with Stuart was Murdoc's fault and couldn't really be fixed, like his eyes.

He felt a pain prickling behind his eyes, feeling completely helpless. He closed his eyes tightly and squeezed Stuart again. He wanted to apologize to the singer but he didn't know how and he knew the singer would just forgive him, but he truly wanted to apologize.

When Murdoc held him, Stuart knew something was wrong with him but he wouldn’t dare to ask. He welcomed his hug and just whispered "I'm here Muds." all he could say feeling the Satanist about to break.

 "I won't hurt you." He said, as he wanted to encourage him to tell how he was feeling to show Murdoc he was there for him even if what was inside him was ugly or scary... Stuart knew it was easy for him tell what he was feeling, Murdoc no.

He would be patient even if he didn’t really need to hear his apology.

He had already forgave him with his heart and would forgive him as many times as he needed. He knew that people who are hardest to love are the ones who need love the most.

Murdoc cleared his throat, not quite ready to talk about it yet. He just hugged him closer, incredibly thankful to have him there. 

"I know, Stu. Thank you..." he whispered into his ear. He sniffed and continued, "I really did enjoy all that, which was surprising to me. I'd never gone that slow before." He yawned, petting the singer’s hair again. His other hand went to rubbing Stuart's back.

Stuart smiled. He would wait as long as he needed. "I'm glad you did..." he whispered to him. "We can do it anytime you want..." he leaned into his touch closing his eyes. Was a huge improvement they had together. His hand went to play with his chest hair again and for a moment he forgot to give Murdoc's cross back to him.

Murdoc smiled and chuckled, "Oh I plan on it love." He closed his eyes and continued to rub Stuart's back as he fell into the most comfortable and deepest sleep he's ever experienced.


	14. Feel Good Inc.

There was a knock on Stuart's door, jolting Murdoc awake in a panic. He started nudging 2D to wake him up.

"Wake up Stu!" He hissed quietly, shoving the singer off quickly, but as gently as he could.

"2D? You in there? We can't find Murdoc, we need to get going to record the video!" Noodle called out, knocking on the door. Murdoc dashed to hide behind Stuart's bed.

Stuart woke up in a start "shut up ya tosser they will hear you..." he whispered to him and quickly stood up still naked and as sore as ever. Thanks to the adrenaline, he wasn’t feeling much. "Of course I am, Jesus I was sleeping and lost time..." he needed to think fast.

"Murdoc's with me, he decided to pass out on the floor of my room yesterday can you believe that....? too tired to go to the Winnie that wanker.." he looked at Murdoc frowning "he's about to take a shower now for the recording..." he pointed to the bathroom and told Murdoc to go there and turn on the fucking shower.

"In how much time we need to be done?" he finally asked not opening the door and running to find himself some clothes.

Murdoc took the suggestion and ran to the shower, quickly turning it on and getting it. His heart felt as if it was beating out of his chest, adrenaline coursing through his veins. He sat there under the shower waiting to see what would happen.

Noodle was quiet for a moment, and then replied, "We need to be there in two hours, but we, uh, wanted to find Murdoc to make sure he got ready. He is very slow... but if he is getting ready that is good. Thank you 2D!" She decided that was good enough and ran off to go make sure everything was packed and ready for the shoot.

Stuart would threw himself on the bed but he remembered how his ass was sore... he sighed and entered the bathroom "Muds they believed me... two hours to be ready..." he told him a bit more tired as adrenaline was leaving his system.

He silently entered in the shower feeling how he was sore. He leaned closer and kissed his cheek "Sorry about that... Good morning love.." he told him rubbing his eyes. "He was really getting how to lie properly and sound convincing.

Murdoc jumped a bit when Stuart entered the bathroom, but felt a huge sense of relief when he said they believed him. He watched 2D enter the shower, noticing how sore he looked. He noticed the cross necklace still hanging from his neck, he smiled. He reached up and took it off 2D before it got too wet. Then he brought the singer closer to him, bringing him under the water.

"Morning... sorry for tossing you off me. Thank you for lying for me." He said as he grabbed some shampoo and started lathering the singer’s hair with it, massaging his scalp. He'd already cleaned his hair so he wanted to focus on Stu.

Stuart just smiled feeling his hands on his scalp; he was happy Murdoc learned how to say sorry and thanks... it sounded so good to hear.

 "No problem... wasn’t your fault... you’re welcome Muds..." he closed his eyes "I wonder till when we'll need to make up excuses in the speed of light for us..." he chuckled a bit but it wasn’t really funny. "I'll need to write down some to use not to repeat.."

Murdoc pursed his lips. He figured the singer probably was a fan of lying, but Murdoc didn't feel like telling anyone just yet. They'd just started this, he didn't know what it was exactly. He was afraid if they told anyone, it'd make it more serious and then more chance or getting hurt. Or the others would think Murdoc was holding 2D against his will or something.

"We'll... tell them eventually..." he tried to smile reassuringly. He remained silent as he rinsed the shampoo and started putting in the conditioner, to which he then rinsed that out. He then turned off the water and brought 2D out with him. He wanted to do something nice for him that would hopefully help his soreness.

"Stay here for a moment." He said, having 2D lay on his stomach on his bed, naked. He then went back to the bathroom and grabbed some lotion, coming back with the bottle. He straddled Stuart's legs and put some lotion on his hands. He then began to rub and massage Stuart, starting with his soldiers and moving down hos back slowly.

Stuart didn’t struggle but didn’t get what Murdoc was up to... he thought he would rub something against his ass but instead his felt his arms on his shoulders and his face blushed. He loved to be massaged but would never in a million years tell Murdoc that... he purred lowly "Muds this is so good..."

Would help him relax to sing properly in the video... "Thank you..." he mumbled feeling better... even his normal headache after getting up in a start was slowly decreasing.

"Just watch the time Muds... we can’t be late..." he told him with a smile blushing even more.

Murdoc smiled, glad it was working. He massaged lower, eventually getting to his ass. It was still bruised and looked painfully. Murdoc bit his lip. He regretted having Stu not  fuck him instead last night. He shouldn’t have had the kid hitting his ass anymore.

"Welcome love... let me know if this hurts too much..." He gently rubbed and massaged the bruises with the lotion, hoping it wasn't too much for the kid.

Stuart nodded "Your touch is gentle..." he smiled "It’s not gonna hurt.." yeah it hurt a bit still but he could deal with that as long as Murdoc was touching him. "You’re really good with that..." he complimented not knowing about his skill in massaging. Stuart would have to return the favor another time.

Murdoc chuckled, finishing up and grabbing his necklace he'd taken off Stu earlier.

"Well... when you get a bunch of messages you pick up a trick or two... usually those ended in hand jobs but that isn't happening here. Not right now anyways." He laughed. He leaned over the back of Stu, kissing his shoulder and holding the necklace in front of him. "You okay if I wear this for the shoot, then give it back to you after?"

Stuart slowly turned to face him and sit down. He ignored the part he told about the massages or he would get jealous. "Oh I'm sorry I didn’t give you back... y-you don’t have to give it back to me if you don’t want..." he blushed hard feeling better. "It’s yours Muds a-and of course you should wear it..." he smiled to him. Of course, he wanted back, he loved that necklace but it looked much better on Murdoc anyway. He would look hot in the shoot he could tell.

Murdoc smiled stood up, putting the necklace on and posing. "I do look amazing with it, but you looked pretty sexy with it on, maybe more so than with the hickies. It says you're mine." He smirked.

"But I'll let you wear it if you want when we aren't at shoots or interviews or something where I need the iconic necklace." He smiled and started looking for his clothes to get dressed.

"Anyways, we better get going and join the other two, I'm not pissing Noodle off today." He said, grabbing Stu's clothes and handing them to him to help him out.

Stuart just nodded. it would be nice to wear it around there "I just hope Cortez wouldn’t try to steal it to give you back..." he chuckled standing up.

"You better not.... she will kick you from that flying island if you do that..." he joked getting dressed. "Thanks for the massage, Muds.. feeling much better now..." he smiled to him warmly.

He went to his bathroom looking for his pills to take some. normally video shoots were stressing and he didn’t feel like stressing today.

Murdoc nodded and started to walk towards the door, as Stu went to the bathroom. He slowly creaked the door open and peaked outside. The coast was clear and he walked out.

"Meet me in the living room before we leave, Dents!" He called back before leaving. He walked towards the living room after grabbing his bass. There he found Noodle and Russ getting things packed into the bus outside that they were taking to the tower for the shoot.

He didn't bother offering to help, instead choosing to sit on the couch with El Diablo, watching the TV.

"Don't offer to help or anything Murdoc." Russel grunted, grabbing part of his drum set to take outside. Murdoc waved his hand, not looking up from the TV.

"Don't worry Russ, I won't!" He called back. He chuckled when he heard a few curses. He waited for 2D as the other two continued moving things to the bus or going somewhere else to grab something.

Stuart once satisfied with his outfit ran outta the room to meet the Satanist in the living room as he asked. He noticed Russel and Noodle packing the bus "You guys need help?" he differently from the Satanist offered help. He gave Murdoc a smile and squeezed his shoulder to tell him he was there.

Murdoc looked up at him and gave him a quick smile, turning back to the tv.

"No thanks, we are just about done. But thanks for the offer." Russel spat towards Murdoc, who ignored him.

"Asshole." Russel mumbled.

Noodle came into the room smiling. "Shall we go? It is a bit early, but that is okay." She jumped around excitedly. Russel laughed, his sour mood lifted for a moment. Murdoc even chuckled.

Russel nodded to the other two. "You guys take the bus, Noodle and I are bringing the island to the spot it needs to be then we will meet you at the tower. He looked at 2D.

"Keep an eye on that asshole." He pointed to Murdoc, to which Murdoc scowled at him.

Stuart just nodded seeing the little girl so happy "Well, better early than late, right?" he chuckled and went to the bus hoping Murdoc would follow him "Don’t worry Russ, I'll take care of him..." he chuckled entering the bus "good luck with the island" he told them waving goodbye.

Murdoc was really an asshole, but he was his asshole.

Murdoc followed him into the bus sitting in the driver’s seat after placing El Diablo safely in the back. He wasn't sure why he had to drive the bloody thing, they really needed to hire someone for this. He grumbled as he turned it on and started driving them towards the tower.

When they reached it, there were more crew around able to help take things out this time. Murdoc guided 2D into the tower and they made their way to the room in which they'd film. Even he was impressed by how high the tower was and he liked the room they'd be filming in. There were already groups of women all over as the director worked to get them in their spots

Stuart looked around seeing how the place was and looked for the director to know where he was supposed to be and to do. He avoided the girls, they kinda looked really ugly and nasty. But he focused in the shooting. He was already a bit dizzy from the pills of earlier so it would be easy. From the distance he could see the island coming.

Russel came into the room, having sent Noodle and the island off to where it needed to be. He went to his drum set and finished setting it up how he wanted it.

Murdoc found his bass and put it over his shoulder with the strap, but he was stopped by the director.

"No, Murdoc. You need to be shirtless first." He said, to which Murdoc nodded and proceeded to take his shirt off. He heard some giggling from some women nearby. He turned and gave them a sly smile and a wink.

The director then guided him to his platform between large speakers. He told Murdoc he would be leaning against the wall, women touching and hanging off of him while he played. They'd have wires that would lift him up to standing in one smooth action at one point and he'd continue playing, eyeing 2D and the camera the entire time. Then near the end they would focus on him playing, he'd need to do a few moves and make it fun.

Murdoc nodded, understanding what he needed to do. He looked at 2D, flashing him a smile, before leaning against the wall into position. The director seemed satisfied and walked towards 2D to tell him what he'd be doing. Women started leaning on him and playing with his nipples and chest hair, giggling. He laughed and chatted them up a bit, but he wasn't truly interested. He was more worried about 2D.

Stuart sighed to his smile. He was definitively an asshole. But he was _his_ asshole.

The singer didn’t return his smile and focused on the clip frowning. He couldn’t help but feel jealous. In Murdoc's place he knew the Satanist would feel jealous too, or he just hoped he felt.

He nooded to his orientations and grabbed the megaphone he gave him and sat down, ready to sing. His pills kicked so his anger was manageable now. He looked instead to Russel flashing him a smile.

Again, he looked through the wall and Noodle was there in place too. he smiled everything set.

Murdoc frowned when Stuart didn't smile back at him, a little upset. He became even more upset when the singer flashed Russel a smile. If he wasn't already in place he'd go over and ask Stuart what the hell was the problem. One of the women pinched his nipples, startling him out of his thoughts.

"Hey! Easy..." he growled, deciding to deal with the issue later. There were a few more interruptions before they started, with the director eventually just having Murdoc lie down completely in the midst of all the women instead of leaning against a wall, that would make his rise from it even more dramatic. He also had more of the women spread out all over the area, telling 2D to make sure he steps over them carefully.

When the director yelled action and De La Soul's laugh began, he set himself into serious mode and started playing the iconic bass line while the girls clung to him and touched him. He would make a few quick glances towards 2D when he was singing. He thought he looked cool, especially yelling into the megaphone. He loved the part where he rose from the ground, because it was sweet as hell, but he also got to watch 2D while he played.

How Stuart wanted to step on either of them right in the head.

He nodded and listened to that laugh he already heard plenty of times... soon he was totally focused in singing, acting the best prisoner he could be.

Eventually he reached the window still singing and de la soul appeared on the big screens behind him. Everything was going fine... they would shoot with Noodle and put her parts together. He was doing his best not to step on nobody and to act miserably.

Anyway he just looked to Murdoc ‘cuz the director told him to otherwise her would look to any other direction. He had already made him his particular show. And to that memory he smiled.

It got to the part where Murdoc had women surrounding him while he played, stared at the camera, and hip thrusted. He thought he did a fantastic job, and also remembered when he had hip thrusted for 2D, wanting to smile. He kept his face serious though, not wanting to ruin the shot.

He thought 2D did a wonderful job, he was impressed. He enjoyed watching the kid, he especially enjoyed him singing this song. It was beautiful. Noodle did a good job. From where he was, he couldn't see Noodle fly by very well, but he'd just ask 2D about it later.

When they finished he was so relieved. They had done quite a few retakes and he was sweaty, tired and tired of being fondled at this point. Everyone else looked exhausted as well. He started making his way to 2D, when he was stopped by a small group of women that they were filming with. He was only half-paying attention to what they were saying. They were mainly asking for his number, or about the band, or about his bass, or various other things. He wanted to get to 2D, but he was surrounded at this point.

"Ladies," he said in a charming manner, flashing a seductive smile. "I'd love to hang out and talk with each and every one of you personally, but I am exhausted and need to go talk with my singer, yeah? Excuse me." However, they didn't move, instead surrounding him more and asking more questions excitedly.

Stuart frowned waved for him dismissively "take care of them, Mu’doc don't bother about me we can talk later." He said in a monotonous tone trying not to sound hurt and turned his back to him going to talk to Noodle and Russel about how great was the shooting and how he enjoyed her idea. He was tired too but wouldn't show. And wouldn’t get in the way pulling Murdoc by his arm and yelling at the women that he was taken something that might make Murdoc mad. His charming way bothered him a lot... but it was how Murdoc was so he sighed and went away from him.

Murdoc ended up surrounded by those women for nearly another hour. He just couldn't get away, even if he was rude. It was unbelievable. He'd been a little upset 2D hadn't come and helped him out, instead choosing to ignore Murdoc. Before he would have enjoyed all the attention and enjoyed even more that 2D wasn't the one getting it, but he didn't need it right now. He still had to see what was going on with 2D.

When he finally got away and got near the group, he set his bass down, feeling incredibly relieved. He stretched his neck and back, having had to hold that thing for hours while floozies also held onto him. His nipples and chest were sensitive from the hours of fondling and he was incredibly sweaty and now he was grouchy. He snapped back around to the group.

"Thanks for the help!" He snarled, as he put his shirt back on.

Noodle just laughed while Russel shrugged. "Thought you'd enjoy being surrounded by hoards of women Muds."

"Normally, sure! We just got done filming a shoot for several hours! I had to hold my bass that entire goddamn time while they fondled my nipples! Now my bloody chest hurts." He pouted and growled, not looking at 2D, still made he ignored him.

"Can we go home now? I'm tired too..." Stuart mumbled looking to the other too. He could see his chest marked and his nipples pinched from the girls before he put his shirt back. Well it was all for filming and all for Gorillaz.. But he just felt like staying alone now. His pills lost effect for a while now and he just wanted to numb himself again.

He thought Murdoc could deal with his problems... but he just watched Murdoc be attacked by them for a bloody hour. If he had asked for help Stuart would be happy to help.. but as Noodle said he loved to be surrounded by birds. And he confirmed. He sighed.

Everyone nodded to 2D's response and Murdoc frowned. "Fine." He mumbled. He stomped his way back out to the bus, with Russel driving all of them back this time. They agreed to leave the equipment there for now so they could take it directly to the next shoot.

Murdoc sat in the back away from everyone, staring out the window the entire time. He couldn't believe 2D just completely ignored him like that, especially after last night. Therefore, what if he had to be touched by hordes of women for this shoot. He didn't enjoy it, especially when it got painful. His nipples were puffy and they hurt like a bitch, which only added to his grumpy behavior.

When they made it back to Kong, he made his way out first, angrily ignoring everyone. He made his way to his Winnebago, slamming the door behind him. He quickly grabbed a beer and gulped it down. He continued to do that for a while, nothing seemed to be calming him.

Stuart noticed him avoiding him. But it was fine. He was being childish and jealous and didn't want to deal with Murdoc angry too. He watched him storm into the Winnie and sighed he wouldn’t try to follow him. Maybe this time a small note from Cortez wouldn't work.

He walked to his bedroom feeling really lonely after everything they did and felt Murdoc's smell everywhere. He sighed a bit more and took one breath... two... three and soon he was crying.

He was such a crybaby missing Murdoc and he knew Murdoc must be mad with him by now. Was all his fault.

He just entered the shower to clean himself from the shooting and cry a bit alone.

Murdoc was sitting at the table in his Winnie, completely blitzed and still angry. The day kept repeating his head. 2D ignoring him, over and over again. He had needed help and couldn't ask for it while 2D just ignored him. He balled up his fist and hit it against the table.

"I-I did everything that bloody kid asked last night... and... and then he just ignores me!" Murdoc grumbled and slurred to himself. "I'm surrounded by women, wh-who I asked to leave me alone, and he just ignores me again. His mold was changing from grumpy to angry.

He stood up and stumbled to his dresser where that token 2D had given him sat. He turned it in his fingers, trying to focus on it. He sniffed and stumbled to his door. He opened his door and chucked the token out the door as hard as he could. That didn't help as much as he thought it would. He clenched his teeth, the anger boiling inside him. He screamed into the night, breathing hard when he was done.

He heard a caw and saw a flash of black drop to the ground a ways away, grab something and fly away. He shook his head figuring the bird grabbed a rat. He sighed and closed his door, going to sit back down, opening yet another beer.

Stuart was looking through his window when he saw Murdoc's outburst and heard his shout. He new from the noise what could be what he had thrown and his heart ached. He knew by now Murdoc was really angry with him. He sighed again.

Well he was hurt and needed to apologize with him from being a jerk. Murdoc could  be mad or hit him as long as he wanted... He wouldn't mind at all. He just felt he needed after previous night.  Even if Murdoc didn't want him anymore. hesitantly went to the Winnie scared that by now Murdoc would be drunk already. He knocked the door waiting for an answer. Now he really screwed everything up.

Murdoc was staring when he was startled by the knocking. He figured it was Russel probably coming to tell him to shut the hell up. He sighed and stood up slowly, walking to the door.

"Yeah, yeah Russ I'll keep it down." He slurred as he opened the door, stopping when he saw 2D. He frowned, he was surprised to see 2D, a small part slightly happy while another part of him was pissed. He glared a little.

"What are you doing here? Th-thought you were ignoring me." He growled, hanging on the door.

Stuart didn't lifted his head to talk to him he kept glaring down "I-I came here to apologize..." his voice was just a whisper. He had cried for long so it was hoarse "for not helping you with the birds and... for not talk to you when we reached home. I'm sorry." He told him shaking. Really scared of Murdoc pissed. "I was... jealous and acted like a moron and it wasn’t fair with you." He finally said it all.

Some of Murdoc's anger disappeared with the apology but he was still a little hurt. He had guessed right as to why Stuart was upset. He stepped down the little steps slowly, stopping in front directly in front of Stuart. He grabbed the collar of the singer’s shirt with both hands and brought him close to Murdoc's face.

"You're damn right it wasn't fair! I just spent all of last night and the night before cuddled with your skinny ass, after confessing like a teenaged girl, taking you on a date, and 'making love' like a couple of virgins." He hissed as he gripped his shirt tighter and brought him closer so their foreheads were touching.

"I'm yours now Stuart, there's no deserting me over something like that!" He let go of his shirt and swallowed and pointed his finger into Stuart's chest. "I thought you said you were going to be different than anyone that's ever been in my life. I know I'm a shithead of a person, but I'm your stupid shithead and I'm trying to take this seriously..." he clenched his jaw, turning back to his Winnie and went inside.

"If you're actually sorry, you'll come in this Winnie and stay... we can... talk it out..." he called back to Stu, sitting down at the table and pointing at the spot across from him, frowning.

Stuart swallowed hard. he was about to leave but Murdoc's words made him stay. he was so embarrassed and ashamed  of what he had done he wanted to curl in a ball and die.

He deserved to be yelled at and didn’t say a word back. Everything Murdoc said was right... it hurt of course but it was right.

He just nodded and entered the Winnie looking down still too ashamed for looking Murdoc in the face. He sat where he pointed.

Well we all commit mistakes... That was one of his. For the lots the Satanist made him. If Murdoc didn’t want to apologize we would understand. He just wanted some time alone so he wouldn’t yell at Murdoc or curse him ‘cuz he was angry about the girls. He was just thinking that was the better attitude not really deserting him... But well, how to explain that to a person who was mad at him? He sighed.

"Well… You wanna talk about it?" he asked in a low voice.

Murdoc watched the boy hesitantly enter the Winnie. He sighed when he saw the kid under a better light, noticing how his eyes and face were red and puffy. He cooled down a little realizing the kid had been crying. He had sobered up slightly thanks to the adrenaline and anger, but he was still a tipsy. He rethought how to approach this.

"Yeah I do..." he waited a moment collecting his thoughts. "So you were jealous, huh? About all those birds? You do know I had no say in the matter right?" His anger started to flare so he took another minute and took a deep breath.

"You know I've never been in a serious relationship, don't usually care for them Stu. It's all about trust, and I don't trust anyone... except you three." He looked down.

"I know I'm not the most trustworthy person, but I'm trying at least. I mean, for fuck's sake Stu... I took you on a date and went bloody slow with you last night. Do you know when the last time I did that?" He didn't wait for Stu to answer. "Never! I'm Murdoc fucking Niccals. I don't date! I don't go bloody slow! But I did that for you, so give me some bloody credit yeah?"

Stuart nodded. "I know you did all that... but..." well there was no excuse for that. "Look, I didn't do what I did because I really wanted to leave or upset you or that I didn’t care... I did it because if I pull you off the girls everyone would think it was suspicious ... and we have to keep up appearances, right? You surrounded by birds is kinda normal for them. I had no idea they were really hurting you. If I came there screaming that you're... mine... and yelling everyone to fuck off I think it would make you angrier than you are now. And everyone asking "Why are you helping Mu’doc...?" but believe me it was what I would like to do. I'm sorry to have left you. Jealousy spoke louder and I didn't know what to do because for everyone we are not together ... and you being attacked by girls is what they are accustomed to see." he said looking down.

"Well, next time something like that happens I'll do something about it... if it makes you feel better. I'm sorry Muds." he was somehow happy Murdoc got really hurt ‘cuz he thought Stuart abandoned him.

Murdoc grumbled, "Well... they weren't hurting me or anything like that. My bloody nipples hurt, still do actually." He looked at Stu then sniffed and looked back down. "I may have... over reacted, but it mainly started when I had given you that smile before shooting and you frowned at me! Then you gave Russ a smile! What the hell Dents?!" He was starting to realize how clingy and dependent he was sounding. He dug his palms into his eyes.

"Fuck... I sound like a crazy girlfriend... you're right. I really shouldn't be so upset, but I don't think it would have looked that odd for you to help me out when I had said I needed to talk to you." He gave a deep sigh, digging his palms into his eyes till they ached.

"Sorry Stu. This is all new to me... I don't know how to act. I just...." he couldn't say he just didn't want Stu to abandon him or give up on him, that was too much for him to say out loud. He'd sound even crazier than he did now.

Stuart smiled to the man hiding in front of him. those were the cutest words he could have heard. "I'm sorry about that too... I was just angry and didn’t reasoned..." it was just a smile.... Why was Murdoc so upset with that? He controlled himself not to chuckle it was so sweet... and showed another side of Murdoc he didn’t know. A bit under his armor.

"No you don't. And that's okay be upset or overreact... you wanted to talk about it and not just ignore... that's really mature." Actually it was another big change. Murdoc would tell him to fuck off with his shitty excuses if it was another time. He cared enough to talk with him about it.... even not being a patient person.

 he got how Murdoc was about losing him. He was as crazy as Stuart was about Murdoc. "Guess we both need to learn how to act and... we both don’t wanna loose each other... maybe much more than we thought we did." he told him with a half-smile looking up.

Murdoc liked seeing that smile. He could feel the corner of his mouth twitch upwards slightly. He still felt embarrassed. Then he remembered throwing the token when he'd be drunkenly pissed. He slammed his head down on the table, hating himself.

"You know what's not mature?" He asked, partially muffled by the table. "Try not to hate me... I was pissed and threw your token you'd given me..." The last part came out in a whisper, he was disappointed in himself. If it wasn't so dark out he'd go look for it now.

"Sorry, Bluebird..." He said, still muffled by the table. He slammed his head against the table again, much harder. "Fuck, I acted like a nut over this..."

Stuart got scared when he did that... "Muds it was just a token..." he quickly run to his fridge to grab some ice. "Please don’t hurt yourself like that... I'm not mad at this..." he pressed the ice on his head, it was about to bleed from how hard he hit it.

Stuart looked at him sadly. "We... we do many things we don’t mean when we're angry Muds... that's okay.." he really didn’t care about the token at all. He only cared about his wellbeing now. "Even if you do, I don't hate you Mu’doc... I can't." he caressed his face smiling a bit more to him.

Murdoc appreciated 2D taking care of him, he especially appreciated that 2D wasn't upset with him about the token. He was, however upset with himself. He leaned into 2D's caress.

"Thanks, Stu." He gave the kid a soft smile. "You're really fucking with my personality kid." He chuckled. "If you had told me a few years ago that I would someday be sitting here upset over you, I would have smacked you upside your head. Now look at me." He smiled and grabbed Stu's hand and kissed it softly.

"Did you ever think this would happen?" He pulled Stu down to sit next to him.

Stuart smiled to him warmly taking off the ice from his head not to burn and seeing that was really cut, but it was small. He wiped with his thumb.

He blushed at the kiss on his hand "Well Muds..." he looked down to the ice on the table "If you want me to be honest, no. ‘cuz I really thought you'd never be interested in someone like me." he chuckled. The tip of his fingers becoming red with cold.

"I wanted you for so long... But would never have the guts to tell you anything..." he looked a bit sad now "I thought you hated me and you'd hate me even more when you found out i had feelings for you. So I kept them for me... and would have kept forever to have you on my side." he cracked a small smile. "Did you think this would happen?"

Murdoc grabbed his cold hand and held them between his, warming them up. He snorted, "No I never thought this would happen, ever. Never even crossed my mind. I mean, I thought about fucking you before, everyone has I'm sure. You're a good looking bloke, hence why you're my front man, plus your voice, obviously." He bit his lip, hesitating before continuing. He wasn't sure if he should say what he was going to say next, but he ultimately decided he should since Stu was being honest.

"I didn't hate you per say… you were more an annoyance for me. I always wanted to be the front man, the one everyone loved that had the amazing voice. My old bands never worked out cause of that… I think I sing wonderfully, but many others don't seem to think so." He chuckled.

"But in came this tall, blue haired, black eyed airhead, no offence love," he kissed Stu's hand he was warming up as an apology and continued, "and everyone loved you. Plus it didn't help that I had to take care of you for a year while I struggled to make ends meet and create a band. However, I honestly would not have it any other way. You are actually an amazing person Stu." He was embarrassed with how sappy he was being. He knew he could be even sappier but he couldn't make himself say anything more. He made a mental note to work on that. He just hope Stu took it in a good way. He really did love the kid.

Stuart squeezed his hands... Murdoc was being really honest with him. "I didn’t even care about... the people you say that loved me ‘cuz I was your frontman... I just wanted your attention and... helping your band go ahead I thought I would have..." he chuckled.

He blushed when he kissed his hands. "Well Muds I can say about the sex the same... " he looked down "When I couldn’t have you I thought about you when I was shagging other people..." he confessed slightly shaking "even jerked off thinking of you.." he closed his eyes in shame.

"Amazing?" he repeated opening them chuckling and blushing. He never thought he was amazing with anything in life. "Thank you Muds... I want to be an amazing person just for you..." he kissed his forehead where he hurt it. "Can you please forgive me..?" he looked at him with pleading eyes.

Murdoc's eyes widened at his confession. He imagined 2D jerking off while thinking of him and he shook his head, now wasn't the time for that, but he stored it for later. He didn't think the kid had liked him that much. 

Murdoc gave him a small smile when he kissed his forehead. "You are though. Seriously. Amazing voice, amazing looks, amazing personality." He sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically then chuckled. "Well obviously I can forgive you Bluebird. I did just throw a fit about being yours didn't I? I'm sorry, again, for making such a big deal out of nothing."

"I need to tell you that when i first decided to come here i wasn’t thinking that you'd tell me so openly that..." he chuckled "That's okay... I forgive you too." he smiled warmly. it meant a lot he making such a big deal outta it... maybe he should have made too, a big fuss with the birds.

Slowly he stood up placing the ice back into his fridge before it tawned and went back to be with Murdoc with his heart warmed. He would look for his token when the morning came. "well if it means so much to you to be mine... have to tell you that it means a lot to me to be yours too..." he placed a hand on his thigh squeezing it. "Your forehead is gonna be swollen" he touched it.

Murdoc inhaled sharply when he touched his forehead. "Easy. It only hurts if you touch it., and thankfully I have this amazing head of hair to cover it." He smirked and grabbed Stuart's hand on his forehead and brought it down to kiss it. He found that it was fun doing that.

"Yeah well, you were always mine. Didn't really have a choice, so I'm glad you're happy about it." He laughed. "I gotta tell you though, I've let you get away with a lot of shit, you know that? I'm hardly ever with guys, I usually don't let them top me either, I've let you sleep in my Winnie after a shag, we've kissed more times than I can count... I could keep going, so I hope you know you're getting the all exclusive, never before seen Murdoc love package, you lucky dog." He joked and smirked, pulling out a cigarette to light it. He offered one to 2D.

Stuart quickly grabbed blushing... He felt really special now with Murdoc being his exclusively. That word sent shivers down his spine..

"Well I guess.. with all your fame, charming and this whole sex god thing... you could have chosen anyone.... " he lit his one "guess I'm really luck after all..." He chuckled.

Deep inside Stuart was proud of himself that he could really manage to change Murdoc to this point... those things were all achievements for him. And Murdoc recognize it.

"You want all this to continue...?" Was a silly question but who knows? It would only get worse from there... Stuart wanted something serious.. and well Murdoc was acting like he wanted too.

"I have to tell you that you're stuck with me too Muds... and you'd have to do something really hideous to get rid of me..." He told him with a smile... a simple jealousy crisis wouldn't do it. Not even close.

Murdoc smirked, "keep singing my praises, Dents. And this god chose you, so don't forget it." He gave 2D a playful wink. He always enjoyed when the kid would dote on him. He was one of the few who did and was being truthful.

Murdoc considered what he said. "Well I don't think I'll be getting rid of you any time soon, love. Hopefully you won't try with me, I'm pretty stubborn and you know once I sink my teeth in I don't let go." He flicked the ash off his cigarette smirking.

"So, to answer your question, yes I would like to continue. So try to take it easy on me, yeah? And I will try not to act like a psycho..." he puffed on his cigarette, still embarrassed about the whole thing. He summed up his freak out to being cranky from the shoot.

Stuart laughed "You a psycho... I can't even imagine that.." he told sarcastically "But seriously Mu’doc if you do too much and act like a freaking possessive boyfriend I'll let you know..." he shook his head "I'll promise I'll behave too...try to control my own jealousy." he winked to him puffing his cigarette. till now Murdoc showed he was taking it for real, so Stuart would take too. "Is your chest still hurting, love?

Murdoc considered his words, he wondered if Stu would actually tell him if he was being too possessive. The kid didn't seem to be able to tell Murdoc to stop biting him, even when he was badly bruised and sore. He knew he took that too far, but he loved doing it so much, it was hard to stop.

He smiled at the wink Stu gave him. "Yeah, my nipples are so sensitive they keep staying hard. I could cut glass with these things." He laughed and lifted up his shirt to show him.

Stuart grimaced "Christ, Mu’doc... they seem really sore... Guess mine never been like that..." he carefully touched them

"They really messed you up.." he chuckled "is there anything I can do for you as I didn’t help you before they did all that?" he asked gently wanting to make up with Murdoc.

Murdoc flinched when he touched them. They were incredibly sensitive and ached slightly. "I was about ready to put some band aids on them just to keep them from rubbing my shirt, but being drunk and angry helped keep my mind off them a bit." He put the end of his cigarette out and looked back to Stuart.

He smiled deviously at his offer to do something for him. "You can start with this." He grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him in for a kiss. After a minute, he pulled away. "I'm in the mood for a bath, yeah? Care to join? This Winnie doesn't have one, we'll have to go to the studio."


	15. Bath

Stuart welcomed his kiss moaning into his mouth as he missed the bassist. He really thought they wouldn't do anything sex related that night and he was kinda right.

He raised a brow to his suggestion... Murdoc never asked for a bath together..."A bath sounds amazing...." He didn't tell him he had already taken a shower “Lead the way, Muds..." he said while going to the first aid box as he had band aids inside grabbing some for Murdoc after the bath. _'With so many places to touch they went for the nipples?_ ' He thought and laughed alone.

Murdoc smiled in excitement. He hadn't had the chance to take one since coming back from the prison, obviously they didn't have one there. He hopped up quickly and practically ran out of the Winnebago.

When 2D finally came out to follow, they walked back into the studio, mindful of anyone around. Thankfully they didn't run into the other two. When they got to the bathroom, Murdoc started the bath. He quickly undressed, not even waiting for Stu, and got in. He gave Stu a big smile.

Stuart smiled seeing his smile. For some reason he loved seeing a genuine smile on his ace... Even if it was ‘cuz he fell of the stairs. Not the sly and lewd ones he usually gave him.

He slowly took off his clothes as he was sore still but maybe a bath would be something to make him feel better after all the stress that video gave him. He entered it facing the Satanist "Long time you don't take a bath huh Muds.. ?"

Murdoc was in pure bliss, he kept his grin on his face. "Oh yeah, it's been at least two years? Maybe a little less?" He couldn't remember when his last one was, he just knew it'd been when he first entered Mexico.

He saw 2D's bruised ass when he took his pants off. He grimaced at how bad they still looked. "Fuck, Faceache. I really bruised the shit outta ya..." the kid bruised easier than he thought. He made a mental note to not be so hard next time.

When the water filled up the bath, he turned the water off. He hunkered down to where the top of his shoulders were just cresting the water, steam rising all around him.

Stuart frowned at his old nickname. He hated it ... but that was okay he was in an amazing mood to bother. He placed his legs the best he could in the bath and went under the water to wet his hair.

"I'm okay Muds..." He smiled to him "It'll heal ..." they had a week ahead for it happen. Every time it hurt, he remembered Murdoc. All the time almost.

When Murdoc saw the frown, he realized he had slipped an old name. "Shit, sorry Stu. Old habits, I've been trying to be good." He smiled apologetically. "Let me make it up to you..."

He grabbed 2D's feet and placed them on his lap. He then began to massage his feet.  He felt awful for using that name, he'd used it to make fun of 2D before, and it just slipped out.

"You are good... and I’m the one who should be making up with you Muds.... " he purred and tilted his head when he grabbed his feet with his dumbest smile "That's okay..." He stopped for a moment...

"Hey love why did you call me by all those awful nicknames since the beginning...? I mean... besides 2D wasn’t Stuart good enough...?" He was dying to ask him that and loving his touch on his feet. Murdoc was gentle when he wanted. He closed his eyes

Murdoc bit his lip, this was an awkward question for him. "I uh... got Faceache because that was one of my nickname as a kid. Uh, I was a charming kid, but I was uh... not much liked. But I bet those kids wishing they were nicer to me now." He smiled softly then shrugged. He wasn't going to go into detail about how all the kids merciless teased him when he went to school drunk and dirty. Being drunk, having a quick wit, and being charming as hell helped him there though.  

"I just used names that I was called as a kid. Besides the Dents thing obviously. It made it easier to dislike you... sorry Stu." He looked down at Stuart's feet through the water, grabbing the other foot and massaging that one this time.

Stuart frowned... that wasn't what he was expecting for an answer... but Murdoc sounded genuine.

 "I'm getting used to you saying sorry all the time and praising me..." He smiled warmly. "That's Okay Muds I was just curious... thanks for stop calling me that..." He wouldn't ask about his childhood in a nice moment like that eventually the Satanist would feel comfortable enough to tell him.  "Are your nipples better?" He pointed at them under the warm water trying to avoid the topic of his past.

He looked up at 2D, pulled out of his thoughts. Those thoughts had killed his mood slightly but he gives 2D a convincing smile.

"O-oh, a little. They are aching a bit still. I kept telling them to do something else, or stop touching me." He growled. He didn't mind being touched but after a few hours he'd been over it. He looked up at Stu, trying to focus on something else.

"You liked what you did today? I liked the megaphone you had used. Did Noodle look good on that island? I didn't get a chance to see her very well."

Stuart looked at him when he asked. "Oh I liked it yeah...it was different I guess.. from where I was at the window I could see her ... she was really cute with her guitar..." He chuckled a bit

"Bet after so many takes the result will be awesome..." He thought for a moment "And you were good too Muds... really hot as you said you would perform... Thrusting and all that" He blushed while complimenting him

"You only did better when we were alone..." He looked down. "I'm sorry for acting like an ass... but I swear I was looking at you from time to time..." He still felt bad about how he behaved. He was fidgeting with his fingers.

Murdoc nodded. "I'm sure it'll be fantastic." He had no doubt it would look awesome, they should be done editing in a few weeks and they can put it out for the world to see. It would be worth all the trouble.

"It's fine, Stuart. Water under the bridge now." He smirked "And hell yeah I put on a special show for my singer when we were alone. But I know I looked pretty good in the tower, I kept seeing you take a peak from time to time." He stuck his tongue out playfully. "If you feel really bad, you can make it up to me when your ass is better, you know what I mean." He raised his eyes playfully a few times.

Stuart smirked back..."Well, I don't have my ass now but I still have my hands..." He told him switching positions with the bassist and going behind him. He slowly began to massage his back and pepper his skin with kisses.

"God you're bloody tense Muds..." He didn't know if it was from playing bass or his angry and drunk outburst... "Let me fix this for you love..." his long and skillful fingers began working on him. From over and under the water.

Murdoc hadn't been expecting Stuart to give him a massage of any kind tonight, but it was a welcome surprise. He liked the light kisses and touching, Stuart was skilled with his hands.

He stretched and relaxed from the massages. He had been tenser than he had even realized. He closed his eyes and just felt Stuart's touches. No one had ever been this gentle with him, he could seriously get used to it. "Thanks Stu..." he whispered.

"Don't mention it love..." He whispered to him "Bet you didn't think your first bath would be with me right..?." He chuckled lightly feeling Murdoc relax a bit on him. It was magic seeing him untensing... he massaged his back, neck, arms and in the end changed position with him massaging his feet...

"Feeling better now, Muds...?" He asked with a soft smile. It was nice touching Murdoc that way... not sexual. It was more intimate...  He kissed him some times while massaging... but not to turn him on... just to make him feel loved. Stuart did all in a slow pace enjoying his skin.

Murdoc chuckled, "No I didn't but I'm glad it is. You made it perfect." He smiled. When Stu moved back around Murdoc stretched out, significantly more relieved.

"Holy shit, D. I feel amazing." He laughed and flinched when Stuart touched his feet, pulling them away at first out of reflex. He slowly put them back.

"Sorry, don't have my feet touched often. A little ticklish I suppose." He liked his delicate kisses, they were sweet and very much like Stu. He suddenly got an idea.

"Oh! Btw, I forgot to show these to you! I got a few new scars while I was in prison. Check this one out," he held his right arm up and on his ribs was a long, straight, rigid scar. "Look at that, some wanker tried to shank me. Then he on my shoulder blade," he pointed to his left shoulder, turning slightly for 2D to see, "I was shoved into a table during a riot. I started that riot and it didn't last long once the guards pulled out their guns, but it was a fun one. Let’s see..." he tried to think of what else had happened to give him scars.

Stuart flinched seeing those scars... he had seen them before while they were shagging... but hear an explanation it was something more serious.... He tried to pay attention to what he was telling him about the scars but couldn't help but feel bad for his mate... and as always Murdoc told him with proud and a laugh. They should have hurt like hell.

The ones Stuart had were from falls or the accident he wasn't that badass.

He just bit his lip and kept massaging him. The sight of big guys kicking Murdoc's ass wasn't the best sight "pretty cool Muds... I've seen some when he shagged..." He forced a smile. And now when he messaged him he touched some, carefully as he didn't know if they hurt still.

"The most recent now you'll get it this one in your forehead " he chuckled "and the ones Cortez gave you..." He tried to joke and hot think about the ugliest ones.

Murdoc chuckled, "Nah, those aren't that bad, they may be small scars, but no one will be able to see those unless you're up close." He smiled and looked at Stuart, staying quiet a moment. He tried to think back when he was in prison, he'd actually had a lot of time to think about Stuart when he had nothing else to do. He always remembered their first gig.

"Remember the first time we ever played? We made the entire place riot. I knew we were going to be big. I knew it. I remember you stumbling onto stage, nearly falling on your face, Noodle was barely bigger than her guitar, Russel was cranky as ever... I used to think about that night a lot in prison... I was more nervous for you though, I think. When you opened your mouth and sang though, I knew we'd be big." He smirked, looking fondly at Stuart.

Stuart blushed deeply "Did you...?" He let out a small chuckle “Yeah... I remember you and I talking drunk about how big we would be... when we be famous. Before it all happened..." He closed his eyes thinking about the show

"God I was nervous in our first... I almost puked before it in dressing room." He opened them "Well you calmed me down... dunno if you remember you were really drunk.. But if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be able to sing..." He returned the fond smile " time flies Muds... soon we'll be on stage again..." He smirked with his gap teeth squeezing his feet. "This time even bigger..."

In moments like that he even forget about all fame and all things they achieved... all he could think was Murdoc and how he made him happy.. How they act like a normal couple and Stuart was happy with that.

Murdoc nodded and gave a small laugh. "Yeah I had been pretty drunk... I was a little nervous too that night. I don't know how you did it, but it was bloody fantastic. It's what got us signed!" He played with the water a little, thinking about being on stage again.

He suddenly remembered his little problem with Jimmy Manson, the guy wanting to take Noodle's place. He knew he needed to deal with that guy soon before he decided to do something. He decided to start thinking up a plan soon.

He looked back up at Stuart. "I can't wait to go back on tour. There's nothing better than being in front of people that paid to hear you. Screaming for you..." he imagined the crowds and stage in his head and smiled.

"Is Noodle in charge of the tour too Muds...? I mean it's her album..." He looked at him curious "y'know what Muds?... Besides shagging and stuff... there's nothing I like more than be on stage singing with you.. singing for people of course but especially for you..." He smiled fondly again as He closed his eyes imagining the crowd yelling Gorillaz. "I missed that a lot." He confessed.

Murdoc considered what Stuart said. "Well...  she'll have some say inn where we tour, but I'll probably help since I helped plan the last tour. I think she did book us maybe two or three gigs in the next couple weeks already though... so we will have that plus the music videos..." he got excited thinking about it. "I'm gonna play on stage in just my underwear, my boots and my cape.... oh and my hat... I really like that cape..." he smiled.

He smiled even wider when he talked about being on stage "Yeah, being on stage with you is pretty fun, I'll admit. You really like singing for me Stu? Even after all the shit I put you through?"

"3 gigs? Oh that’s good..." He smiled excited. They would have plenty of work ahead. He giggled "Oh you still have that Cape? It's gonna be so fun..."

He blushed when he asked "Of course I like... as much as I like hearing you play your bass..." He leaned closer him a bit. Well the bass isn't something he could play anytime but sing yes.

"I could sing for you whole day if you wanted... anything.." He knew Murdoc liked his voice... so it was like a blessing making him happy with just that little. He hoped Murdoc liked him singing as much as he liked they fucking.

Murdoc gave him a small smirk, "Don't tell me that Bluebird, I might just make you sing all day." He winked at the kid, leaning closer as well. "But I do mean it. Your singing is all I need to hear to cheer me up. I used to remember it in prison. That always kept me going... well that and talking to Cortez... but I told Cortez all about you and the band... told him all about me as well, obviously. But I think that's why he didn't peck your eyes out."

He had been a little nervous with that first meeting. He didn't want to have to choose between his singer and his prison buddy, but he knew he'd choose his singer if it called for it...

Stuart blushed again "Well I... I like to know that you talk about me to your friends... even if it is a bird... and I'm glad Cortez like me.. Maybe he knew I wouldn't hurt you..." He smiled moving to lay on his shoulder. Glad the bird didn't see they shagging... He would maybe think he threatening Murdoc. Stuart felt special .. Murdoc was opening himself a bit.

"Remember those girls I mentioned when we first met? Well I think each one of them knows about you now... the band...." He chuckled "Even Shane got tired of hearing about you...and how I missed you..." the only person he didn't talk about Murdoc was his father for obvious reasons. He lifted his hand rubbing his stubs. "Anytime you need Muds... just ask me and I sing..." He whispered.

"Well I even talked about you to my two Mexican friends. They wanted to meet you and they did, glad they behaved themselves or we would have had a problem... but yes. I'm glad Cortez likes you. They say he was born from the folds of Death's cloak, which I believe." He laughed.

"Really? You even talked about me to Shane? And all those girls? You didn't talk about me that much did ya?" He liked to hear Stu hadn't forgot about him during their time apart. This kid really did like him, and he still couldn't believe it. 

"Can... can you sing now? I bet the acoustics in here are perfect." He leaned towards Stuart slightly.

"Well I’m not the best  talking to girls and ... I chose to talk about something I like...and knew something about... it was easier for me..." he chuckled. "Well if I talked about you that much they would do exactly as the girls who attacked you in the video..." he giggled a bit more.

He talked about Murdoc to them in a way he could show how much he admired him... of course he wouldn’t want the birds around him. something in the line of "oh if Murdoc was here he would like that, he would do this..." and eventually the girls asked who was Murdoc and he had do explain.

His eyes shone "o-of course I can Muds..." he smiled lifting his head a little to look at him. He wasn’t expecting right now "w-what would you want me to sing...?" he asked excitedly.

Murdoc snorted, "I'm glad I could be your wingman without even being there. Still a little mad I had to go all that time without a proper shag, while you were out having a good time." He teased. "At least I was there in thought, but that still didn't get me off." He joked

He smiled when 2D agreed to sing. "Do tomorrow comes today, yeah?" He loved that song of theirs, it was one of his favorites. He and 2D had wrote that one together, it had been fun, surprisingly."Even having fun I didn't forget you, Muds..." he blinked to the older male.

He found that was a nice request for the bathroom acoustic.

Soon he cleared his throat. Singing to Murdoc in a bath.. Who would ever imagine they both doing something like that? He chuckled to this thought.

_"Everybody's here with me_

_(We) got no camera to see ...."_

He started shyly, looking into his eyes and caressing his face... he wanted to make this moment special, like all the others he sang to Murdoc were. He sang in a lower tone and slower than he would normally do. He wished he could whistle...

In the chorus, he went back to his shoulder, almost whispering for him.

" _When tomorrow_

 _Tomorrow comes today_..."

His hand went to his chest, playing with his cross. He could stay there forever if he could.

When Stuart started singing and looking directly at Murdoc, his hands gently touching his face, his eyes widened and he blushed in embarrassment. He hadn't expected Stuart to be so sensual with it.

When Stuart got close and whispered to him and touched his cross and shivered. Stuart had a way with him that just could make him melt in his hands.

"Holy Hell..." he whispered. "Now I'm never going to be able to hear that song without thinking of you singing it like that..." he gave a shaky laugh. He even had goose bumps.

Stuart chuckled "Well I'm never going to be able to hear _Feel Good Inc._ the same way either ‘cuz of you Muds..." he whispered looking at his cross. And rubbing his nose against his neck. He really loved all this closeness..

"Can you hold me...?" he asked softy closing his eyes "Just for a bit, Muds.. I can sing another song if you want.." or stay silent. He didn’t mind as long as Murdoc was close him.

That night ended much better than he thought it would.

Murdoc chuckled, "Well, I can't say no to that, when you ask so nicely. You're lucky I'm so nice... don't tell anyone." He joked, as he pulled Stuart over to him so his back was against Murdoc's chest. He had Stu lower himself in the water slightly so he could rest his chin on his head. He brought his arms around and hugged him close.

"You can sing if you want Bluebird, but you don't have to." He wasn't sure if he could control himself if Stu sung like that to him again. The kid was truly gifted, Murdoc was sure of that.

Stuart smiled widely when Murdoc hold him. "Oh I won't tell..." He was incredibly patient that day.

Soon Stuart began humming the previous song once again... but after a while with Murdoc hugging him he was singing kids with guns... He knew it wasn't romantic or anything. But he loved the way Murdoc's bass sounded in that one. Was another he thought that should have a video...

When he reached the chorus Stuart slowly turned around to face him once more, their bodies where touching.

"Now they turning us into monsters... Turning us into fire...." He looked at his mouth and swore he could totally hear his bass. He bit his lips craving to kiss Murdoc. He didn't want to turn the man on... but that song was just too much and for some reason was the only one that came into his mind that hour.

Murdoc had closed his eyes, content, when Stu started singing again. He liked the song choice, it was another one they had worked on together, Murdoc had more part in how the song sounded whereas Stu had written more of the lyrics. He smiled at the memory.

He was a little surprised when Stu suddenly turned around singing. The way the kid looked at him, it made him feel vulnerable and powerful all at the same time. It was addicting. He saw the kid bite his lip and he wanted to do the same. He leaned forward automatically and gave him a deep kiss, grabbing onto his shoulders.

Stuart welcomed the kiss. He loved how Murdoc looked vulnerable before leaning closer to him. He didn't even had to ask for it.

He just placed his both hands behind his neck pulling him close and opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. That was definitely the best bath he had ever had in his life.

After some seconds he broke the kiss with his lips red and sore and panting. His heart was racing and he water was already cold by now. He stopped for some moments just to admire Murdoc and relax a bit smiling to him "Muds…" he loved to say his name staring at him.

Murdoc was breathing hard by the end of the kiss. He didn't want to stop, keeping his eyes closed when he felt Stuart pull away. He then opened his eyes slowly and looked at Stu again. He kept a hold on his shoulders, rubbing them with just his thumb.

When Stu said his name, he smirked and closed his eyes. "Fuck Stu.... what the hell are you doing to me?" He laughed. The kid knew how to push all the right buttons on him. His heart was racing, he was starting to get turned on, which he hadn't planned at all tonight. He'd thought tonight would end up with him passed out drunk. This was far better.

Stuart smiled wide "I dunno Muds... but I don't want that ever stopping..." He ran his fingers through his hair "if you think I had you wrapped around my finger... I need to tell you I feel just the same..." He panted with his heart racing too.

"I think that's how we must feel when in love innit?" He rubbed his nose against his terribly fond.

Stuart would regret like he'll of he didn't apologized with Murdoc that night. Even if the bassist dump him after he said he was sorry. He only didn't want Murdoc mad with him.

Murdoc chuckled, "Is that what love is? It's so bloody confusing and nerve wracking. Surprised my heart hasn't given out yet." He grabbed the plug to the bath, letting the water drain.

"Shall we?" He said, getting up and offering his hand to Stuart to help him out. He draped a towel around his shoulders and grabbed his own. He could tell how exhausted he was, but it was a good type of exhausted now. He felt he might actually have a decent night's sleep tonight. He looked at Stu, "My room, or yours tonight? You choose.

Stuart was quick to accept his help. He thought for a second. "Yours Muds..." as they had slept the precious on Stuart's "Is there anything scheduled for tomorrow about the band..? ‘cuz if Noodle appears again looking for us we need another good excuse" he said drying his hair.

Murdoc was surprised Stuart thought ahead like that. "No actually, we have tomorrow off, then the next day as well. After that is some bloody awards show to play _Feel Good Inc_. After that we have a little bit before we film for Dirty Harry. So we shouldn't be disturbed." He smirked and winked.

He then grabbed his clothes and started putting them back on, once he felt dry enough. When he put his shirt on, he did so slowly, watching his nipples. They were better after the bath, but still hurt.

"For fuck's sake, I'm never letting anyone touch my nipples again. " he growled. He knew that was a lie, he was just being dramatic.

Stuart sighed in relieve... "Well I really need some time to rest and recover from our last shags..." he smirked. "Thanks for letting me know about the schedule love... you know how I forget things easily..." he shrugged slowly placing his clothes back, he was a bit sore too but much better after the bath.

"Well at least were just your nipples ya dramatic old Goth.." he went fast to grab into the pocket of his jeans the band-aids he brought.

He slowly lifted his shirt and placed one over each nipple... "A bit more and they would bleed..." he kissed both tenderly. He was a weird kid.

"Next time don’t allow strangers to touch you" he narrowed his eyes with anger in an advice, turning around with a smile heading to the door "shall we go?"

Murdoc snorted while his eyes widened in surprise to 2D's warning. "Well it's not my fault! It was better than my cock or my ass! Can't say a few didn't manage to touch them anyways, but I always told them to knock it off... they mostly listened." He shrugged and smiled apologetically.

"I had my bass and was trying to focus on the video, I couldn't just stop mid recording to yell at some broad grabbing my ass. Why'd you think I wanted to get the hell out of there?" He bit his lip and waited for the kid's reaction to what he'd said. He hadn't mentioned it before because he'd been angry, then he kind of forgot.

Stuart frowned and turned his face to him with his white eyes as he was really feeling a lot. "Don't need the details Mu’doc. Think about yourself hearing that a bunch of girls were touching me all over. how would you feel, huh? I know you didn’t like and all that but..." he said in a different tone of voice, full of jealousy, and sighed.

"Look, Mu’doc I know you've been to orgies, had shagged more people in a month than I have in one year, just.... I don’t want to think about it okay...." he said defeated heading the way to his Winnie

He was far aware with who he was dealing with, Murdoc did plenty of things in life, nasty ones involving strangers... but he didn’t care as long as now they were together he didn’t do anymore.

Murdoc flinched when 2D turned to him with his eyes suddenly white. He didn't think he'd said anything bad, but he could understand why Stuart wouldn't like it. He thought about all the girls touching 2D, he wasn't a fan.

"Sorry Stu..." he whispered. "I told you I didn't want them touching me... they didn't exactly listen. I tried to go see you right after, remember?" He grumbled and crossed his arms as he followed Stu. He felt bad for angering the kid, but he didn't necessarily think it was his fault. He sighed. It was kind of his fault. He did tend to brag about stuff like that and Stu didn't want to hear it. He made a mental note to try to stop. He continued following Stu like a defeated puppy, tail between his legs.

Stuart eventually opened the Winnie's door and shut it behind him. His anger decreased seeing how Murdoc said sorry and looked defeated. He didn’t know he could scare him that easy.

Suddenly he pressed Murdoc against the nearest wall roughly kissing him and pressing himself against the older male.

He aggressively broke the kiss biting a bit stronger than he should his lower lip

"Look Mu’doc... that's how it's gonna work between us and I hope you agree with me." his knee went to the middle of his legs pressing against his member

"You’re mine you understand that? My bassist, my lover, my boyfriend, my Mu’doc. And I don’t want to hear anything different from that." he said between pants, his eyes still white and his heart on his throat. He was cornering Murdoc inside his Winnie, how daring was that?

 "I'm really fucking jealous and you showed me you are too. So no funny business..." he let go of him abruptly. He closed his eyes trying to calm down a bit and sighed

"It's already sad enough we can’t tell anyone, so, please..." he whispered turning around and lit himself a fag with trembling hands from his breakdown.

Murdoc hadn't expected the sudden attack from Stuart, it was another pleasant surprise that picked his mood up quickly. When Stuart pressed against him, a small moan escaped.

When Stuart broke the kiss, he just watched wide eyed as Stuart became authoritative. It was the hottest thing he'd ever seen, didn't help his jeans from feeling to small. Then his knee went between his legs and he let out a small whine, leaning forward slightly. 

When 2D started calling him "his", he heart rate quickened along with his breathing. He shivered, then it was over. 2D took his leg out and turned around, upset. He just kept there leaning against the wall. He was turned on but felt awful at the same time. The most confusing feeling he'd ever experienced.

He tried to swallow, his mouth dry. He didn't think Stu wanted to tell anyone so badly. He tried to imagine it, but every time it just made he feels anxious. He wasn't ready for that. He couldn't even explain why really. Was he afraid of making it more official? Afraid of what people would say? Afraid he'd get Stuart's hopes up then shatter them as Stu realized how awful Murdoc truly was? Was he afraid of getting hurt? He could pick any... he could pick all of them actually. He bit his lip and looked at the back of 2D's head. "Sorry." He said hoarsely.

“T-that’s okay Muds... I-I'm sorry too..." he said taking a puff of his cigarrete to calm down and sighing shakily suddenly regretting all he did. his voice sounded broken.

He looked through the window and saw Cortez catching something from the ground and flying away. He blinked twice and his eyes were back into its normal color.

"Want a fag..?" he said in a low tone offering him one still not looking at him

Murdoc shook his head, "No. Thanks." He put his face down trying to hide his eyes with his little bit of bangs, adjusting his pants. He still had a little bit of a hard on and he wanted to get rid of it now before doing anything else. 2D's possessive voice kept going through his head, which didn't help, even if he did feel bad.

"No need to be sorry... it's my fault. It's my insecurities, my issues." He cleared his throat and took a shaky breath. He balled his fists up. He wanted to give Stuart this but he couldn't say it. He couldn't utter a single word close to saying he could tell someone. He started to get disappointed in himself, clenching his teeth and grinding them. He really couldn't say it yet.

"There's no problem Muds..." He whispered and quickly wiped his eyes. He ruined all the mood with his little outburst. However, he needed to say all that.

"I don't care, really." He lied and bowed his head sniffling. He finished his fag. "I'll wait" this part he was honest. "W-want me to leave...?" He asked not really thinking, just turning around to see him, his eyes shining with tears.

Murdoc looked up to see Stuart crying, "Fuck Stu... I keep making you cry." His chest hurt. He took one of his balled up fists and hit the wall of his Winnie, hard. He kept his eyed hidden behind his bangs as he clenched his teeth, shaking slightly.

"This is why we can't tell people!" He suddenly yelled. "Christ Stu! You have nothing to be sorry about! I keep hurting you! What are our fans going to say? What are Noodle and Russ going to say? They're going to hate it. What's going to happen when you find out just how fucked I am, huh? Fuck Stuart, I love ya, and I can't even fucking tell you like a normal bloody person...." he was shaky and breathing hard at this point. He walked up to Stuart and put his hands on either side of his face, wiping his eyes with his thumbs to get rid of the tears forming.

He looked directly into Stuart's eyes and whispered, "How the fuck am I supposed to handle you eventually leaving me? Huh? Tell me that Stuart... because you're going to see the real me eventually and you're going to hate it..." he dropped his hands, but kept his gaze on Stu.

"I'm going to ruin you like everything else and THAT is the Niccals way..." he said with a painfully sad laugh.  He felt sick. He hadn't had a meltdown like this in a while.

Stuart listened carefully and new tears appeared on his face. He haven't had seen Murdoc breakdown that way in a while. He shouldn't have told him anything. He sobbed.

"I love you... I do love you Mu’doc... I'm sorry… I'm so sorry for loving you so much.." He grimaced and hugged himself.

"I don't care. I don't care about others opinions and others hate..." He sobbed again "I just want to...make you happy Mu’doc I promised I would be different goddammit.... no one is perfect for fucks sake stop saying those things about yourself.... I don't wanna leave... I'm so fucking scared that you get tired of me..." He curled himself shaking. He lifted his head to look at him

"Ruin me. Hurt me. I don't care." He said firmly is a whisper. "I wanna heal you, and if that means I'll suffer you're worth the fight, Mu’doc..." He told him with a hoarse voice after crying hard looking into his eyes.

This time his eyes didn't turn white.

Murdoc looked at Stu, his heart breaking at his words, his shoulders slumping in defeat. His anger and self-pity was gone, he didn't want to see Stuart cry like this anymore and he didn't want him talking like that. He walked up to the kid and brought him into a tight hug. He didn't say anything, just let him cry on his shoulder and rubbed his back. After a few moments of not saying anything he sighed.

"Please don't tell me you don't care if I hurt you. You should care... and I care." He whispered. He was moved by how strongly Stu felt about him and how much Stu was willing to fight for him. He tightened his hug, determined to do the same.

"I-if you really want to tell people... go ahead... I won't stop you Stu. I'll be right by you the whole time, no matter what..." he whispered. He tightened his grip even more on Stu as he started shaking, trying to hide the panic he felt.

Stuart just shook his head "it's not about telling people Mu’doc... this is the least I'm worried now. " he pulled off his hug looking at him sobbing

 "It’s about you trusting me...about your overcoming your fears and insecurities. Or we overcoming together... about you not hating yourself. It isn't a decision I can make alone Mu’doc." He blinked his eyes "we're in this together... and if you really want me I'll stay even if you show me your darkest sides Mu’doc. The ugliest, worst, and most hideous ones." He swallowed hard "‘cuz it's much darker my life without you in it, Muds." He said honestly with his heart racing.

He didn’t know anything about true Murdoc. But he was really willing to know. He had many scars inside and outside Murdoc left. However, he really didn't care. Couldn’t be any worse than already was could it?

Murdoc bit his lip and looked at the ground. He then gave a small nod. "Okay... I'm sorry..." He looked up at Murdoc, his face wrought with worry.

"I trust ya, Stuart." He whispered. "Really, I do. I'll work on it, yeah?" He tried to give him a convincing smile. He felt embarrassed again and he felt as if he let Stu down. He started shaking a bit but he wasn't sure why at this point. His nerves were so shot. He felt exhausted.

Stuart tried to smile at him back "Let's.. let’s sleep okay? I'm exhausted and I bet you're too..." He said pulling out of the hug. His head was killing him but he wouldn't ask Murdoc for his pills. He just placed a hand on his head and went to the bed feeling emotionally drained.

Murdoc watched him walk to his bed and lay down. He stood there for a few minutes trying to collect himself. When he felt ready, he followed Stu. He got his pants and shirt off and got in next to Stu, his back to him. He tried to sleep but he was up for a little longer, everything just running through his thoughts. He pulled the blanket around him tighter, curling into himself tighter, he felt awful.

When he finally did sleep, it was a restless sleep with dreams about his childhood. He kept jolting awake, sweating and breathing hard. He cursed himself for being almost 38 and waking up from sodding nightmare. He prayed to Satan he wasn't waking Stu.

Stuart didn't sleep either. His headache couldn't let him do it. He was in the point of crying ‘cuz of pain. And he noticed Murdoc couldn't sleep too.. He was moving too much for a sleeping person and Stuart had slept with him plenty of times to tell he was awake. He felt awful for that. They could really have ended the night other way.

"Can't sleep...?" He mumbled in the dark desperately wanting to comfort Murdoc some way. He still had his back turned to him.

He flinched when Stuart talked. He had really hoped Stuart wouldn't notice. He sighed.

"No..." he said, feeling defeated. "I keep having these sodding nightmares... did I wake you?" He still kept his back turned to Stuart. He stared out into the darkness. It was quiet, except for his and Stuart's breathing.

"Sorry for earlier..." he mumbled. He didn't know if that would do any good but he thought he might as well try. He sighed, he had really hoped for sex tonight, now he was stuck feeling only disappointed in himself and sad. This is why he never dated, he was a fucking lousy boyfriend. He thought about all the times he's made Stuart cry so far, he wondered what the fuck was wrong with himself as he stared out into the dark.

Stuart shook his head "No you didn't... my head who kept me awake..." He turned around to face him. Avoiding Murdoc wouldn't gonna help.

"That's okay I'm sorry too." He just turned around not touching him "Is there anything I can do to help?" He whispered noticing none of them would sleep that night this way.

Murdoc felt Stuart turn towards him and he figured he should do the same. He turned around, blanket still pulled tightly around him. It was dark so he could barely see Stu, which he was kind of thankful for. He didn't think he could look at Stu in the eye right now.

"No..." he whispered. He would have done anything to cuddle with the kid right now, but he couldn't ask for that. He felt so fucking awful that he actually felt like crying just for the hopes to feel better. He hadn't cried for so long, he almost forgot how it felt. He knew if Stu hugged him it'd probably happen. He bit his lip and pulled the blanked over him so only his face was showing.

Stuart didn't know he was feeling that awful but the way he was hiding hurt his heart  Hesitantly he put the older male in a hug. “If I can't do anything about it I can at least don't leave you alone, come here, love…" he whispered.

 He put his head on his chest and held him close. "I love you Mu’doc" he whispered kissing he top of his head

He wasn't expecting to sleep but do something good for Murdoc was all his heart was asking now. He rubbed his arm slowly and his other hand caressed his hair.

Murdoc tensed when 2D pulled him in close. He started shaking slightly and closed his eyes tightly. He could feel a stinging behind them. He had considered crying but now he didn't want to. It hurt more than he remembered it did. He could feel the tears squeeze out past his shut lids. He let out a choked sob then took a deep breath to hold it back, letting it out slowly.

He took his arm out of his blanket cocoon and wrapped it around Stu to bring him closer. He pushed his face into his chest and held it there, waiting for his episode pass. A few more tears passed through his eyes and he only tried to hold his lids together tighter till they hurt. He stayed like that for a few minutes.

 When he finally felt good enough to talk, he whispered, "I love you too Stu."

Stuart felt his chest squeezing when he knew Murdoc was crying. He only held him closer and tighter, when he noticed. He ran his fingers through his hair and didn't cry. As much as he wanted to he didn't shed a tear. He was strong, for Murdoc.

 "You may fall apart Mu’doc...as many times as you need... I'll always be here to pick up your pieces and put them all together again..." his hand rested on his crying face not lifting it if he didn't feel like.

 "cuz you're not a monster, Mu’doc and deserve to be loved" the last part came out as a whisper. He knew Murdoc had much more inside to let out but he wouldn't force. He ignored the sharp pain on his head and waited him to feel better. He found his hand in the dark and interlaced their fingers putting both ones on his chest. He would be able now to hear And to feel his heartbeat. Another kiss on the top of his head.

Murdoc nuzzled into his chest, squeezing his hand tighter. He was starting to feel slightly better and his chest didn't hurt as bad. He was thankful Stu was being patient with him and he was saying the sweetest things. He hadn't cried in so long, he'd forgot how it felt.

"Thanks love." He whispered, starting to finally feel tired enough to sleep but a much better. He knew he was going to feel embarrassed in the morning but he didn't care anymore.

He listened to Stuart's heartbeat as he fell asleep, holding onto him. He remained nuzzled into his chest, with his arm around him. He didn't want to let go of Stuart.


	16. Truth

Stuart woke up early. After Murdoc fell sleep holding him he eventually was tired and hurt enough to sleep. However, the next morning his headache was unbearable. He could swear he heard explosions into his head.

Even not wanting to leave Murdoc alone he had to. He had to look for his pills and eventually bring some to the Winnie so he wouldn’t have to go after them every time. He left a small note to him saying he would be right back if Murdoc woke up before he was back.

He slowly took Murdoc off him replacing his chest with pillows and gave him a small kiss on his forehead. He was sleeping so soundly he let him sleep a bit more after everything he's been through and that day they didn’t have anything scheduled. He had his face stained with tears and it was the first time he had seeing something like that happens with him practically sober.

Murdoc didn’t let his hand go till next morning. He felt bad at leaving him, kissing it as well, but he was already feeling like puking from pain.

He slowly went outside to look for his token after going upstairs to look for his pills.

Cortez was up on a ledge, on the outside of the Studio walls. He was looking over his small stash of items, one of which was Murdoc's token he'd thrown. He had gone after it right after Murdoc had thrown it. His other items an unused cigarette, a guitar pick, and a few coins, buttons and other small shiny items.

He heard 2D come out of Murdoc's Winnie and went into the Studios, then come back out and look for something. He was curious as to what the man was looking for, maybe it was something he could have. He cawed and ruffled his feathers before spreading his wings and hopping off the ledge. He glided down the 2D, landing on the ground next to him. His head flicked every which way, looking from the man to the ground. He felt disappointed when he didn't see anything important around. He let out a loud caw at the boy.

Stuart flinched hearing that caw. For some moments he forgot about Cortez.. He only appeared when Murdoc was around not him.

He slowly turned around to see the bird "Ello, morning Cortez... sleep well? Well I dunno if crows sleep but if they do, I hope you have slept..." he told the bird while looking around for it. The idiot saw from his window in which direction Murdoc threw the thing but, nothing even similar was there so he was almost giving up his seek.

The bird cawed a response and decided there was nothing there for him. He remembered Murdoc had given the boy something shiny from around his neck the other day, maybe he wanted something like that again.

He hopped a few feet away and flew up to his spot on the ledge. He eyed his things and grabbed the only shiny thing he remembered getting from Murdoc. He picked it up with his beak and hopped, once more, off the ledge. He flew down to the boy and landed in front of him on the ground. He dropped the token to the ground and waited for him to grab it. He cawed a few times, hoping the boy would give him something in return this time.

Stuart stopped looking for it when he noticed Cortez was in front of him.. This time he carried something. Stuart smiled from ear to ear noticing was the token. He thanked the bird with some scratches around his neck and quickly looked around for something to thank him.

The only thing he could find into his pockets was keys. He loved shining things, right? He offered him the old keys of Kong's gates. They needed to change them after some kids broken the door lock to enter the cemetery, so that key was kinda useless now.

"Take it... thank you a lot, Cortez" he told him with a smile, not afraid anymore he would puck his eyes.

Soon he had another idea to make up with Murdoc. He just hoped he wouldn’t wake up anytime soon. Stuart decided to cook something for him as a breakfast. Maybe a huge stupid idea but he thought he needed to apologize properly.

So he put his token into his pocket not to lose it and entered the Kong again. And I he met Russel and Noodle they would be less suspicious about them seeing he woke up first.

Maybe he would cook something to offer Cortez... eating rats sounded a bit too gross for Stuart.

The bird happily took the key after the scratches, hopping away once more with it in his beak. He eventually spread his wings and took off back to his spot, placing the key with the rest of his trinkets. He gave a loud caw and continued to survey the area as Stuart walked in.

Noodle was on the couch sleeping. She heard Stuart down the hallway in the kitchen, or at least she hoped it was Stu. She knew the guy didn't sleep well and Murdoc would never be up the early. Same with Russel.

She sat up and stretched her limbs with a yawn. She was tired after yesterday, but it'd been a lot of fun. She was so happy it'd turned out almost exactly as she imagined. She decided to go say hi, maybe thank him for putting up with Murdoc for the day.

She stood up and walked down to the kitchen. When she got close, she peaked in and grinned when she saw the blue haired kid. She walked in and sat at the table quietly without him noticing, he seemed to be determined.

"Good Morning, Toochi." She said in her slightly broken English.

Stuart was focusing in what he was doing and didn’t notice the little girl approaching. He almost let fall the eggs he had in his hand "Morning Noods..." he said with a smile. "Sleep well?" he asked in a friendly tone even his face not looking the best.

At least the pills were kicking in and he didn’t feel the pain he felt that morning. Therefore, his mood was great.

Noodle nodded, laughing a little when he almost dropped the eggs. She noticed the guy looked more haggard than usual. Maybe yesterday had been too rough on him, he wasn't very strong to begin with.

"You look tired, Toochi. How are you?" She asked as she hopped off her chair and walked over to the fridge, grabbing some orange juice, and pouring herself a glass. She then went to go sit back down and watch 2D attempt to make something.

Stuart avoided looking at her "I'm okay Noods, just a bit tired from the recording yesterday ...." he lied. Night had been rough but he wouldn’t tell her. Even for himself was difficult to process everything that happened between him and Murdoc.

He placed the eggs on the frying pan... maybe Murdoc would woke up with a hangover, he didn’t know how much he drank before Stuart reached the Winnie, nothing better to a hangover than a greasy breakfast. He went to the fridge looking for bacon and boiling the water for a coffee.

Stuart don’t usually drink coffee so Noodle would notice it wasn’t for him he was cooking.

She sipped on her orange juice and continued watching 2D. She figured he was tired, she hadn't seen him the rest of the day yesterday after he and Murdoc had stomped off the bus, upset. She noticed he was making quite a bit for breakfast, more than he usually ate.

"Is Murdoc making you make his breakfast again?" She asked. The two guys had a weird relationship. Murdoc was always angry and mean to 2D, but 2D still seemed to admire him a lot. She wondered if Murdoc ever appreciated it? Recently, 2D had also become more independent and was even standing up to Murdoc more, which he'd be angry about. However, it always made Noodle laugh.

Stuart stopped for a moment. "No Noods, I'm doing it for him but Murdoc didn’t ask me too." he smiled to her. “He was really upset after those birds attacked him... so he drank a bit more than he should when he came home and well... I had to help him with that." he shrugged. it wasn’t all a lie, if they hadn’t rant Murdoc would probably pass out from drinking.

He said while making his coffee, dark, and bitter. He didn’t make himself eggs and bacon it was all for Murdoc. He didn’t feel like eating.

"I don’t want him in a bad mood today... we have whole day free ahead..." he used this as an excuse.

Noodle tilted her head slightly in curiosity. Murdoc had been upset? When was he ever upset about being surrounded by girls? She furrowed her brows under her bangs.

"Why was he upset? Murdoc usually likes that." She was a little confused. She took another sip of her orange juice. She didn't understand why he put up with Murdoc so much. If the guy bugged her too much, she'd kick him in the shins then laugh at the string of profanities he'd let loose.

Stuart bit his lip looking in another direction. "You heard him when he talked to us... those girls messed up with him when he clearly wasn’t that interested" he shrugged maybe talking too much.

Maybe he pulling Murdoc out of the girls would look really suspicious. He looked around and found lying into the fridge an old banana... Maybe Cortez would like that. He took it off pretending he would throw it away and didn’t. Soon he made Murdoc's breakfast.

"Look I'm helping a friend... just that.." he told her trying to avoid more questions.

She furrowed her brows but then shrugged. She couldn't understand the two guys and she didn't feel like trying. They were just two odd guys.

"Okay, Toochi. Well, bye bye." She said with a wave as she left, taking her glass of orange juice. She was going to go play her guitar for a while.

Stuart sighed in relief. That little girl was really curious when she wanted and he didn’t want to raise any other questions. He promised he would tell them when Murdoc agreed to, not just ‘cuz he wanted. He wasn’t into that relationship alone.

He did his best to carry the cutlery, the plate, his coffee without dropping anything.

Before he did that, he was quick to put that banana in somewhere outta the Kong for Cortez, together with some insects he found near a grave. Disgusting, but that was what crows ate right? He looked in the internet.

Soon he was heading to the Winnie once again. What he did smell good and he just hoped that Murdoc woke up better than he went to sleep the previous night. Maybe hungry.

Murdoc had woken up just a little before 2D entered the Winnebago. He had realized 2D wasn't there anymore, and just cuddled into his blankets more. He kept remembering last night and cringing embarrassed at his breakdown. He hadn't had an episode like that in so long... and usually he was drunk.

He stared at the pillows where 2D was laying before and just thought about what the kid had said. He'd been so sweet to him, he definitely felt better than he had last night. He closed his eyes tightly. He felt like such an asshole though.

Silently Stuart entered the Winnie and found Murdoc still laying. He though that of course he was sleeping. He was extremely cautious not to drop anything or mess placing stuff on the table.

For him it was edible. Nothing like what he gave to Cortez. He looked through the window and found the tiny creature eating and smiled. He kept his token on his pocket and sat down next to Murdoc hoping he wasn't mad that he woke up first and left him alone after the previous night. He knew he wouldn't But sometimes Stuart would just overthink.

He fidgeted with his fingers thinking he was really sleeping still ‘cuz he couldn't see his face.

"Hey I... made you breakfast, Muds... had to leave earlier ‘cuz of me head." He said in a low tone and sighed "I’m sorry if I hurt you yesterday.... I know we could have ended the night other way...  but I'm happy we stood together... guess relationships have those kind of issues.." He chuckled "Good morning Muds... I just want you to know that... I love you even more today than yesterday..." He placed a hand on his hair caressing it. "And thank you, for trusting me." He said about his breakdown. Stuart wouldn't tell no one that happened. Ever.

He had listened to Stuart when he walked in and started talking. He smiled slightly, listening to Stuart talk softly. The kid was really sweet to him, fuck he loved that.

When Stuart had put his hand in his hair, he leaned back a bit, turning to face 2D with a soft, apologetic smile. He reached up and gently grabbed his hand and brought it down to kiss.

"I'm sorry Bluebird. I was such an ass last night. I, uh..." he didn't even know how to start. He swallowed. "I really do trust you Stu. Thanks for sticking with me. I had a bit of a breakdown, but you really helped. Um... I love you... and... I think I would be okay if you... mentioned... us... but only to Noodle and Russ, yeah?" He added quickly.

He looked down at Stu's hand he was holding. "I, uh... have a lot of demons Stu. A lot of issues with me. I just really don't want to hurt you in the end because of them."

Stuart chuckled at his words. Not mocking him. He was just amused. "That's Okay Muds... Noodle asked me if were you who ordered me to make you breakfast... I told her I was just helping a friend" he shrugged.

"She's bloody curious sometimes..." He placed a hand on his shoulder "Don't worry about them. I'll tell when I think it's time... if it makes you feel better I can tell them alone." He wouldn't force Murdoc to be with him when he did that.

The singer knew he wouldn't be alone in the next breakdowns, even if they were much worse than what happened the night before. "I know that too Muds. It's a risk I'm willing to take... don’t worry about that... I’m not scared of you" He blinked to him.

But Stuart wasn't stupid. He knew he would eventually get hurt in the end. But he knew that Murdoc needed help as well. And for him better getting hurt trying to help Murdoc than when he just hurt him deliberately.

He sat a bit fat from him so Murdoc could sit down too with the warmest smile he could give.

Murdoc smiled and sat up slowly, his head hurting slightly. He scooted himself to the edge of the bed with 2D. He didn't look at him, just leaned over and put his head on his shoulder. It was perfect height since the kid was a little taller.

He chuckled softly, "Yeah, Noodle's pretty smart.... but I wanna be there. When they get told... cause we are in this together, yeah?" Those words fell from his tongue and it just felt weird. He'd never been in anything together with anyone. He liked it though.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "So... what should we do today, love? I'll do whatever you want." He said nuzzling his face into Stuart's shoulder.

Stuart silently took his head from his shoulder to face him. He cupped his face and kissed his lips sweetly for some seconds. After that he pulled his fringe up to see where he had hit previously and gave him a kiss there too. It was better but still swollen. For some moments he just giggled seeing he had brows.

"Well for now you should eat huh? I almost got myself burned for you..." He had really burnt his hand cooking but wouldn't tell him.

 "And after that we can start again huh?" He took the token from his pocket and showed Murdoc "if you still want me..." He chuckled again showing proudly his lack of teeth.

Murdoc kissed him back, Stuart's kiss was sweet and gentle. His hands holding his face were so delicate, Murdoc just couldn't believe someone was this sweet with him. It almost felt like a dream, as if any moment he'd wake up and it'd be all gone.

He smiled and lifted one of the eyebrows Stu was laughing at. People didn't get to see those often. He realized just how hungry he was suddenly when Stu mentioned food.

"Oh man you made food? You didn't have to do that." He sat up. He was surprised Stuart actually didn't have more scrapes or burns, he was quite clumsy.

His face lit up when Stuart showed the coin. He grabbed it and held onto it tightly. He looked back at Stu wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close. He gave his nose a little kiss.

"Of course, Stu! Thank you..." he looked down at it again, smiling wide. "How'd you find it?"

Stuart hold him back with a small giggle "Let's say that your little buddy stole it in some moment and gave me back this morning when I was looking for it..." he smiled

"Don’t worry I already thanked him." he pointed to the window where Cortez was still eating what Stuart gave him. "I think Cortez wants us together too, or sorta..." he shrugged. Even his help they had.

He hugged his legs closer his chest holding both hands together trying not to touch the parts that were burned. "Now eat, it will get cold.." he told him with a smile.

Murdoc looked out the window at Cortez and saw him eating what looked like a banana. He remember when he'd thrown the token in a drunk rage. He also remembered when he'd seen Cortez swoop down and grab something shortly after. That must have been it. He smiled, the bird was always looking out for him.

He smiled at Stu and nodded. "Thank you." He grabbed the eggs he'd made him, slowly eating them in silence. They were pretty good, he was pleasantly surprised. He put a little on his fork and held it up towards Stu for him to eat some.

"You should eat a little too. You said your head hurt earlier, you took some pills? Don't have those on an empty stomach." He gave him an expectant look, telling him to eat some.

Stuart smiled to Murdoc taking care of him "was the first thing i went after today Muds... I think I should have a bottle here in the Winnie..." he thought for a second, some of his clothes were into the Winnie already, some Murdoc's on his bedroom... he had even forgot his melodica in the Winnebago. He smiled thinking that they were getting together each time more.

He ate what he gave him, it was actually pretty good as he didn’t eat anything. but Murdoc didn’t have to know about that. "So... now that we have some free time, how about telling the others?" he suggested looking down.

Murdoc nodded. If Stuart was going to be here more then he really should have some of his pills here. He tended to get headaches fairly often. He kept eating till he finished the rest of the eggs, happy Stu had some. The kid was so skinny.

He paused for a moment when Stuart suggested they tell the others. He was nervous but he knew he trusted Stuart. He took a deep breath and nodded again. He started zoning out a bit, all the possibilities of what could happen running through his head. He gulped. He wanted to do this, but it just required his body to follow.

Stuart noticed how he tensed for a moment "T-that's okay if you don’t want Muds... It was just a suggestion..." he placed a hand on his shoulder "You asked me what I wanted to do today... so I said, but no problem if you’re not ready..." he smiled to him grabbing all the things to put them back into the kitchen. He kissed his cheek.

"I'll be right back" he told him softly letting the Satanist alone for a moment so he could think about what to do.

He sat there while Stuart left. He clenched his jaw again. He just wanted to get it done. He thought about Stuart. He thought about how upset the kid had been about it yesterday. Stuart wasn't afraid, why the fuck was he?

He suddenly became determined, which he needed to use before he lost it. He walked to the kitchenette area quickly, grabbed Stuart's hand and pulled him out the door without a word. He walked him across to the Studio and walked inside.

"Noodle!!! Russ!!" He yelled out into the place. He didn't want to go look for them. "We have to talk! Living room! Now!!" He tightened his grip on Stuart's hand and tried not to let nerves get the better of him. He brought Stu to the living room, finally letting go of his hand and sitting on the couch while they waited for the other two.

Stuart barely know what was happening when he almost dropped the plate he was holding. "Muds what the hell?" he asked in a low tone clearly not understanding anything. "did i do something wrong..?" he frowned when dropped on the couch

Murdoc leaned forward in his seat, leaning his elbows on his knees. He was looking at the ground, waiting. His foot was fidgeting and bouncing, shaking his entire body. He clenched and unclenched his fists.

He looked up at Stu, determination in his eyes. He whisper yelled at him, pointing his finger at him, because he wasn't sure how close the other two were and he was fired up.

"We are going to tell these two and get it over with, then you are going to take me back to my Winnie and fuck my brains out and we are going to have a nice fucking time together. Understand me Stu?!"

Stuart was wide eyed and a smile from ear to ear appeared in his face and he nodded vigorously without a drop of hesitation. He was quick to grab his hand "just calm down, you'll have plenty of time to have a heart attack after you tell them, you wanker" he whispered to him trembling with anticipation.

Murdoc nodded and continued bouncing his foot in anticipation. He squeezed Stuart's hand harder than he meant to. His smiled and teasing helped a little but only so much.

He laughed and whispered, "If I have one later it better be because you're fucking me too hard." His heart was beating a million miles a minute, and he almost lost his courage. He was about ready to yell for them again when Noodle came bouncing in. She sat over on the other couch and smiled at them, not saying anything, nor noticing that they were holding hands.

"Alright Murdoc... what's-" Russel stopped when he walked in and saw them holding hands. His face showed nothing but pure confusion. He walked over next to Noodle and sat down.

"Is someone dying? Is it Murdoc?" He asked. Murdoc clenched his teeth and glared but didn't retort. Russel looked shocked. "Oh, damn. This must be serious. What is it guys?" Murdoc held onto Stuart's hand tight, hoping he'd start.

Stuart almost grimaced at his hand. God, Murdoc was killing him. He blushed at his lewd comment trying to control himself.

Stuart took a deep breath. Maybe if someone was dying Murdoc would be much calmer. "Guys the reason why Murdoc yelled you both to be here... was that..." he squeezed his hand "We're dating."

When those words escaped his lips, he felt like fainting... He was expecting his reactions almost in tears.

 "Me and Murdoc. Has been a while now.... since when we came back together from the hiatus... we're a thing... but now it's a serious thing and..." he blushed even harder "I love him." Now he couldn’t look up anymore so scared he was. He began shaking.

Murdoc choked and started coughing when Stuart said he loved him. When it remained quiet, he peaked up at the other two. Their reactions were more than surprised. Shocked maybe? A little pale? He felt 2D shaking, he looked over at him and gave his hand a small squeeze. He looked back to the other two.

Russel suddenly burst out laughing, to which Noodle nervously laughed with him. "That's a good one guys, very funny!" Russel said between laughs. "Or, Murdoc, is this your way of harassing the poor boy?" He suddenly got serious.

Russel looked at 2D, "2D, is he threatening you or something? Do you need me to break his nose a few more times, cause I will." He cracked his knuckles and glared at Murdoc. Murdoc jumped a bit, remember the last time he'd broken his nose seven times. He hid himself behind 2D slightly.

"N-no! No I'm not!" He got behind 2D even more when Russel stood up, ready to grab him. Noodle sat there watching the show, staying quiet.

Stuart's eyes widened and turned white and he frowned deeply. When Russel stood up he was quick to put himself in front of Murdoc, his skinny frame not covering even fifty percent of the Satanist

"Touch him and I'll break your nose Russel." he snarled in a much ticker voice, not really thinking. He was thin and weak, no way he could do anything with Russel. But why be so violent if Murdoc didn’t do anything wrong this time?

"No he's not, for fucks sake and this is not a fucking joke" he frowned and stood up in front of Russel, he was playing with his feelings "We came here to announce we're together either you like it or not..." he pointed a finger on his chest.

"S-Stop... Just stop saying Murdoc is being mean with me all the time... he’s not harassing me, threatening me, beating me or yelling at me... Jesus Christ, he fucking changed with me." he yelled. "I'm tired of all that." he was freaking out again the moment he thought Russel would hurt Murdoc he lost his mind.

"Look, Noodle all those marks I have all over my body were Murdoc who did okay?... Not any bloody random bird.. Sorry the recording had to be delayed. Y-y-you know what..? Murdoc got pissed ‘‘cuz I was jealous of... of those birds around him... I would pull him off them but I was too weak for that..." he told them taking a step into Russel's direction.

"T-that's the truth even if you don’t believe. I know he's difficult and for Christ sake I know all he did to me in the past... I'm not stupid! He makes me happy a-a-and I'm not scared to tell you two this. If you still want to break his nose go ahead Russel, but you'll need to break mine first!"

He yelled the last part, all his heart was hiding coming out all at once. He felt he would faint, he felt like crying screaming... once again he was taken by his emotions. He let go of Murdoc's hand when he stood up, tired and hurt. His burst of confidence leaving him quick.

All three of them looked at 2D in shock. He'd never risen his voice like that before... ever. Russel looked beyond confused, he had no idea what to say, Noodle’s mouth was hanging open and Murdoc was sitting behind 2D blushing profusely.

Murdoc kept quiet, hoping Russel wouldn't hit him. He wasn't too worried about 2D, Russ wouldn't hit him. The way he just spilled his heart out to those two was admirable and it warmed Murdoc's heart. He couldn't help but smile while cowering on the couch behind 2D.

Russel seemed to relax a bit and finally spoke, "2D... man... I had no idea. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so worked up." He looked passed 2D at Murdoc. "Sorry man." Murdoc just gave him a small nod saying he was okay. Russel then looked from 2D back to Murdoc then back at 2D.

"W-when did you say this started? W-why? How?" He looked incredibly confused. He looked at 2D's neck. "Murdoc did those? Murdoc? Really? And you're dating? And LOVE each other?!" He kept rambling, asking 2D a million questions. Murdoc took this moment to look at Noodle, who had a slight smile on her face.

Stuart for a moment stopped breathing when he freaked out. He slowly began calming down and his eyes came back to its normal color.

"That's okay.. I was just holding too much inside..." it was really difficult for him as Stuart was always clueless and happy, he wasn’t used to hide and lie a lot like Murdoc. He felt much better now.

He sat down and placed his face on his hands taking a deep breath. He felt he couldn’t answer anything more than he already did "please Murdoc tell him... he won’t hurt you..." he whispered to him with a smile trying to calm down.

Murdoc flinched when Stu asked him to say something. He looked at Russel and Noodle, his mouth dry suddenly. He swallowed and sat up a bit, biting his lip. Russel kept standing, making Murdoc nervous.

"Um... well... w-when we all got back together, Stu and I got drunk and -"

"Okay. I get it, move on." Russel growled. Murdoc flinched and sunk back a bit, but continued.

"Well, we kept doing... that... and then... we developed feelings and yeah, the end." He finished quickly and looked down, embarrassed.

Russel looked from Murdlc to 2D, obviously unenthused with what he said. "Uh... okay... so Murdoc. He just confessed himself in a fiery rage while you just said... whatever that was. Do you actually like 2D or is this a big joke?"

"No, it's not a joke." Murdoc said sternly, looking up at Russel quickly.

"Do you, um, love him?" Noodle piped up all of a sudden, remind them she was there. Murdoc blushed and looked down. He just needed to say it... he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes tightly.

"Yeah..." he whispered, "I... yeah... I do." He took a peak at Noodle. She had a giant shit eating grin on her face.

Russel walked up to Murdoc suddenly and grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him up off the couch and bringing right up to his face. Murdoc yelped and grabbed onto Russel's arms, hoping if he punched him it'd be quick.

"You better be telling the truth. If I find out you are just being... you... I'm gonna break your nose 7 more times. Get it?" He growled. Murdoc quickly nodded. Russ finally let him go, to which he fell back into his seat. He sat there, terrified of what else Russ might do as he stood there staring down at Murdoc.

He finally sighed. "Fine. Cool. I don't really care. Just watch what you do and say in front of Noods. Later." He said, walking out. They looked at Noodle, who still had the grin, she quickly got up, giggling a bit and walked out after Russ. Once they both left Murdoc finally relaxed a bit.

Stuart let himself fell backwards on the sofa closing his eyes. He really said all he wanted.. He really said all he felt. Why he was feeling he didn't say enough? He sighed and whispered "maybe it wasn’t a good idea Muds..." He finally calmed down not really processing what had just happened.

Deep inside the singer wanted someone who would yell and fight for him if he needed... but he knew it was just too difficult for Murdoc. Even telling him, he loved him to another person. And well if he hurt him Russel was allowed to punch him. It would be fair. So he was protected someway. But Russel's words hurt him "Whatever that was..." maybe he was just overthinking once again... but well he was like that. Would fight for Murdoc no matter what happened. But he felt Murdoc wouldn't do the same for him and it hurt.

Anyway, he swallowed his urge to cry again and smiled at him. Baby steps. "But we made didn't we?"

He would have to apologize with Russel too later. Now he totally wasn't in the mood for shagging.

Murdoc's shoulders slumped when he heard 2D. He seemed upset and Murdoc wasn't sure why. They'd just done what he'd wanted didn't they? Well... they kind of did... he thought back to all he said. He had sounded so weak and cowardice compared to Stu. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and put his palms against his eyes again. He'd fucked up... again. His heart sank into his stomach.

"Shit... I'm so sorry Stu..." he said. He dug his nails into his palms, frustrated and disappointed with himself. He gave a shaky breath. He couldn't figure out why this was so hard for him, he was so boisterous and full of himself normally.

Now Stuart was finally understanding what Murdoc meant when he said he would be a huge disappointment. Well, okay, he took another deep breath. He couldn't expect such a fiery outburst coming from Murdoc ... even not from him. It was all a new experience and he wouldn't be fair with Murdoc obliging him to fit into his fantasies. He wasn't perfect and no one was.

He was expecting more of course... but he knew pretty well who he was dealing with. With someone who never loved... who didn't know what he was doing who was so afraid.. And he yelled in front of everyone how he loved him... there was no turning back in what he did now. It was a huge step they took today. He just hoped it didn't happen just ‘cuz he insisted.

Stuart noticed how he was frustrated with himself and leaned closer him "You did well love... don't need to be sorry... I freaked out when Russel wanted to hurt you. It was my fault." He didn't know what to say or what made him turn into another person when it came to Murdoc.

He placed a hand on his shoulder "don't be so hard on yourself. I know it's difficult for you." He said softly trying to cheer him up. "I don't love you any less ‘cuz of that" he repeated the same thing he told him before hoping he felt better. He slowly took his hands from his eyes "don't do that you'll hurt yourself, Muds.." He looked into his eyes with his void ones..  Trying to see that even with he saying so little he felt something strong to him.

He knew it wasn't "We just developed feelings for each other and the end"

He looked back at Stuart, and he just felt like dirt. This kid deserved better than that. He gulped and furrowed his eyebrows.

"No Stu. You deserve better than that... fuck... fuck!" He growled getting pissed. "All I've known is sex, Stu. Since I was a bloody nine year old!!" He stood up and turned to Stuart. "I hadn't been close to a living bloody thing till Cortez!! A sodding bird Stu! I didn't even treat you properly at first and I missed out! Then I finally get the chance and I screw it up! Fuck!" He gave a pained yell. He was pacing back and forth in front of Stuart.

"Fuck, Stu you deserve so much better!" He growled. Suddenly he got in front Stu on his knees, getting close and grabbing Stuart's hands. He looked up at him, a pleading look on his face.

"I'll make it up to you Stu. I promise. Even if it kills me, 2D. I'm learning okay? I'm trying. Please..." he tried to keep his voice from sounding so painfully sad, but he didn't do a very good job.

"I love you... I promise." He put his forehead down against Stu's knees. "I promise. I'll make it up to you, just... tell me how..." he squeezed Stuart's hands in his. "Please..."

Stuart flinched at his breakdown. He was really trying to make him feel better but...

Nine? Wait he said nine? Jesus Christ things were just much more than he thought they were. His heart ached. When he was nice his parents didn't even allow him to go outside to play scared he would be hurt.

He didn't know what to say seeing Murdoc kneeling in front of him. He knew by now everyone inside the Kong heard him.

He needed to think fast. In a flash, he got his confidence back before starting to cry. He knew if he cried Murdoc would think he was hurting him... and it wasn’t true... it was all too much. But he heard his words they sounded true... Murdoc really wanted to make it different but how? How to teach someone who never loved... how to love?

He swallowed hard and with the rest of strength he had he leaned closer lifting his head and kissing him. Tenderly and sweetly. Touching him like he was the most precious thing he had ever touched.

He had Murdoc Niccals at his feet begging him. Desperate. In verge of tears. And it didn't feel the way he thought it would...  it hurt. It hurt deep.

"Stay" he said breaking the kiss "never... leave..." He whispered and his tears fell "Please... Stay with me. It's all I ask you." The hands that were on his face grabbed his ones "we'll learn together... I promise no matter how long it takes" he sniffled "I love you Mu’doc Niccals. I really, really do."

He grabbed his hand and placed on his chest. "See? It's ‘cuz of you..." his heart was aching so fast it was beating.

"I don't care if I deserve better... I just don't wanna lose you..." He sobbed placing a hand on his face to muffle his sobs. "Oh Mu’doc..." his shoulders shook and he held his hand tighter never wanting to let him go. "How I wish I could have showed you love when you needed the most..." now he cried a bit louder with his whole body trembling.

Shit, he made Stuart cry again, but he knew Stuart meant well by it. He was so sweet. He liked hearing his heart beating fast for him. He didn't deserve it, but he appreciated it more than anything in the world. He stood up slowly and pulled Stu up with him. He gave him a big hug, holding him close, letting him cry on his shoulder. He swallowed his mouth dry.

"I'd never leave you Bluebird. I wouldn't ever dream of it. I'm yours, forever. I hope you like hell, cause that's where my soul and you'll still be with me." He chuckled, trying to turn the mood around a bit. He got serious again.

"I'm sorry... I promise that I do love you. I'm trying. I really am, please don't be disappointed in me, yeah?" He started petting his blue hair. He squeezed him tighter, then pulled away slightly to look at 2D, his face holding a sad smile. He put his hands on either side wiping his tears.

"I'm trying... I'll keep trying, Stu. Cause you're worth it. Forever, okay?" He put his forehead against Stuart's, "I'm so sorry... please forgive me. I didn't mean to disappoint you..." he sniffed.

"I-I know how hard you are Muds..." He said between sobs " and I'm not disappointed... you did it.. You told them. It’s a huge step." He swallowed touching his face "No one ever begged me to stay so much like you did, love... it means the world to me..." He closed his eyes when Murdoc pressed his forehead against his.

"I forgive you... there's nothing to be sorry for..." He quickly pecked his lips. "Thank you for not giving up on me... I know I'm not the most intelligent or the most skillful lad... but I swear what I feel for you is true" he pointed to his chest "inside here."

He wrapped his arms around him tighter "We will be happy together, right...? Just promise me that... promise things will be better for us from now on Muds... please..." He was shaking again.

Murdoc chuckled, "I should really be thanking you for not giving up on me, Stu." He wiped more tears away from Stuart's face. "I wish I could have said the same things to Russel that you did, but I promise I'm the exact same..." he moved one hand back to pet hid hair soothingly.

"Stu, I can't promise you that we'll always be happy, but I can damn well promise you I'll try to make sure you're always happy. Okay? I have a lot of bad shit to make up for and I don't want to just sweep it under the rug. I'm going to try, okay? And if I ever stop trying, Russel can hit me, yeah?" He gave him a playful smile.

"Please stop crying Bluebird. It breaks my heart to no end. I feel the exact same way about you and I'm gonna try to show you that. I'm just a little behind when it comes to how to express those things okay? But fuck am I going to try. I'm want to shower you with all my love, okay?" He gave Stuart a big hug. He was so happy he wasn't disappointed in him. He really wanted to try for Stu, show him the same love he showed Murdoc.

Stuart believed his words... well he not able to tell other people didn't mean he didn't love him. It was just a boundary. And the singer felt glad he was able to tell he loved him. He knew that would take some time for Noodle and Russel accept... well maybe just the drummer... the tiny guitarist seemed happy already with that smile. She already knew for sure.

Stuart stopped crying I the moment he was asked to. He smiled to him and wiped the last tears... "I'm sorry Muds... you know how I cry easily..." He giggled. "Just don't be mad at yourself just ‘‘cuz you can't express things.. that's totally okay." He caressed his face happy enough Murdoc would try. "I wish I could hide many things about myself too Muds... but I can't."

"W-what would make you happy now love...? What can I do to make you happy..?" He asked honestly. "I already stopped crying I promise..." He smiled showing all his teeth to the older male. "Have I already told you I love your hugs?" He chuckled again.

Murdoc leaned into his caress, smiling. "There's nothing you need to hide Stu. I like seeing all of you. I really do." He was glad the kid was kind of easy to read. Since Murdoc felt like he didn't always do what Stuart wanted, or how he wanted it, it helped that Stuart was openly telling him through his expressions and body language.

"Just being with you is what makes me happy Stuart, doing whatever you want to do. I'm yours, do with me what you will. I'm glad you like my hugs. Sorry I'm not, uh, taller to be able to give you a better hug." He chuckled. Sometimes it was frustrating being the shorter one, but Stuart was just so goddamn tall. He wanted to wrap him up in a big bear hug, but he really couldn't.

He was so happy Stuart was smiling again. He didn't think he could take another episode of him being disappointed in such a short amount of time. Disappointing the kid brought on the worst heartache he ever felt. In addition, he was adorable when he smiled.

Stuart just chuckled. Murdoc was getting softer each time more. His words were making Stuart blush profusely. "I like you're shorter, Muds... think I never said that but when I spoon you it fits just right... our hug fits too... even sex.." He knew Murdoc used heels for a reason... not only ‘cuz he liked them.

"I wanna be able to see all of you too, love..." He bit his lip. It wasn't a good request in the end. It was a risky one. "Not only the good parts okay? Don’t hesitate to show me..." He whispered. "Now lemme give you a big bear hug." he told him giggling and sighing after. He really felt lighter.  He peppered his face with kisses being really sappy. He hoped Murdoc just didn't mind.

Murdoc chuckled when Stuart said they fit. "I suppose your right love. We do fit well don't we?" He did like when they cuddled and he admittedly liked it when 2D topped him and held him, he fit perfectly with him. It also worked when he topped 2D, actually. He smiled at the thought.

He bit his lip nervously when Stu told him he wanted to see all of him. He still didn't think it was wise to show the kid just yet. Murdoc felt there were things about him that Stuart might run from. However, when Stuart gave him a big hug, he felt a little better about. He just needed to keep reminding himself he could trust Stuart.

He laughed when Stuart started giving him like kisses all over his face. "Christ, Stu. You really know how to butter me up, yeah?" He looked at the kid and brought head down so Murdoc could give him a deeper, more meaningful kiss. He really liked this kid.

Stuart wrapped his arms around his neck... well Murdoc didn't seem annoyed by his sappiness... "Guess that now that everyone knows we don't have to hide or make up excuses anymore..." He smiled brightly after breaking the kiss now able to use his time to other things that didn't involve making up excuses. God he was so happy he could be himself now.

"We should celebrate we ... took another... step in this relationship..." He said a bit confused. Was that what happened right...? Things got a bit more serious between them too. It was good but scared the singer a bit too.

It meant that if they broke up or be apart for any reason would hurt much more. But he wouldn't bother thinking about that now... all he wanted was some time with Murdoc, their recording works and videos.

"I think I should apologize with Russel ‘cuz of my little breakdown... and I really think Noodle is happy for us..." that little girl's acceptance meant the world to Stuart "hope they don't began treating us differently ‘cuz of that... or don't tell press or anything..." that was another thing he was thinking. Assume to the rest of the band was one thing... to the rest of the world another totally different. He bit his lip.

Murdoc put his head against 2D's shoulder, while wrapping his arms around him. He suppose they did take another step, it was going really fast. It made him nervous but it appeared as if Stu was a little nervous too and that made him feel oddly better.

"How do you want to celebrate?" He thought he'd ask, he didn't want to just suggest sex. Like he had told Stuart, that's all he really knew... well, that and drinking. He didn't want to sound like sex was all he wanted, he was sure Stuart was getting tired of that.

He frowned, "If you want to talk to Russel, you can. Maybe you can explain everything better than I... did." He nuzzled into Stuart's shoulder, embarrassed again at how epically he had failed when he had been so determined at first. Russel threatening to break his nose again had thrown him off.

"I doubt they'll treat us any differently. They honestly didn't seem that weirded out and Noodle did seem happy about it. I doubt they'll tell too. They are part of the band, we are a group and need to work well together still." He gave him a small squeeze to try to reassure him. He's positive they wouldn't tell anyone, they were cool enough. They were like a dysfunctional family.

"Christ Mu’doc... now you talked as we're a team..." he was happy he had learned this "work together" thing... Murdoc used to be bossy and it was all about what he wanted in the beggining, always. Now Stuart could see how he changed for better. "I'm proud of you" he told him with a giant smile.

Stuart gave him a light kiss on his cheek for that. The singer loved the bassist nuzzling against him. He felt Murdoc was so safe with him. "I'll talk to him alone later..." he promised.


	17. Travel

He thought for a moment.... "Well I have an idea, but I think it's a stupid one...." he looked at Murdoc blushing "We could go to my dad's funfair.... I mean.... it’s an amusement park and.... sounds fun...." he hid his face on his shoulder "Oh I'm sorry Muds I don’t know what to do... I'm just happy, and it sounds like a happy place..." he wasn’t kinda thinking about sex.... or he would want it rough and well.

Murdoc smiled at Stuart's idea. He loved it. He never had a chance to go to one, it'd be perfect to have his first time be with Stu.

"No I love it! Let's go Stu! Oh.... but wait.... your parents don't like me much." He frowned. He thought back to when he had to take care of Stu during his coma.... he hated to admit it but he'd be a shithead. His parents were right to hate him. If they ran into his dad, would it make Stuart uncomfortable?

"Well Muds...." he looked into his eyes "Even hating you they should like the fact their son is .... happy.... right? I mean, we released a new album, you made me famous... I'm not going there to ask for money, or tell them I have a not wanted child.... or that I'm dying for some disease...." he joked "And if you don’t want to see them fair enough...."

Stuart wanted to show Murdoc to his parents as his boyfriend, as Murdoc didn’t have a family Stuart could do the same.... but he wouldn’t do it if Murdoc was uncomfortable with that. it could be a bit too much.

He had stood up to Russel, he would stood up even to his parents if they didn’t respect his decision.

"I'm so glad you liked the idea, I wanted to take Noodle when she was younger but we never could.... guess she’s not interested anymore...." he chuckled. He thought Murdoc never been to one when he had the age too.... he didn’t have parents to bring him. He bit his lip trying to avoid this facts.

Murdoc thought about it. It'd be another obstacle he'd have to go through, but he really wanted Stuart to be happy. Maybe it'd go better than it did with Russ and Noodle? Maybe he could apologize for damaging their son? He frowned, if he did apologize, it'd need to be a lot smoother than that.

"Stu, if talking to your parents makes you happy, I'll do it. I can't promise it'll be better than this was. But I'll do anything for you." He hugged Stu closer. He needed to get better at it....

"But yes, I'd still love to go with you. So fuck it! Let’s go yeah?" He gave him a big smile. "Maybe we can go with Noodle another time?" He was kind of excited.

Stuart blushed again "Oh God... You are a good boyfriend in the end." He smiled sweetly "Of course it would make me happy.... travel with you.... and only you would ...." he giggled. "I mean had been so many years... They can't be that rancorous......" he was as always trying to be optimistic about everything. But he wasn't that sure himself David and Rachel pot still loathed Murdoc.

"Let's!" He told him raising his hands in pure bliss. "Oh maybe another time yeah, in a park a bit less.... far from here." He chuckled standing up

"Look I'll talk to the Russel and Noodle to let them know we'll be off...." he had an idea "How about going with your Winnie? Cortez can join us.... If not we can go with the Geep...." he knew how this time of year was cold so they might freeze with the Geep. "We can stay for the night...." he shrugged clearly happy. "God it's gonna be awesome...." his cheeks where a light and adorable pink. He didn't even seemed that cried a lot before.

Murdoc felt warmed when Stu told him he was a good boyfriend. That was something he never thought he'd hear and he absolutely loved it. He didn't fear anything at that point. He'd do anything for the boy.

He loved the idea of driving with his Winnie. They would make an entire day of it. He got even more excited. He'd never done anything like that either, he just hoped he doesn't ruin it.

"I'll go get the Winnie ready, you go tell Russ, yeah?" He gave him another big kiss before running off. He decided to try to clean the thing up a little so it wasn't so dirty inside. Plus if the bird is coming he had to hide anything the bird might take.

Stuart nodded enthusiastically and rushed to talk to the drummer. He looked around the Kong and found him and Noodle again with video games....

"Guys may I talk to you for a bit....?" He asked hesitantly but feeling good as well, now he didn't have anything to hide from them anymore...."

Noodle paused the game and looked at Stuart. Russel looked at him as well, an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"What's up man?" He asked. Stuart looked a little nervous but better than a few moments ago.

Meanwhile Murdoc was in his Winnie cleaning it up. It wasn't great but at least the clothes were off the floor and actually put away. Random objects Cortez could grab were put away securely. He stopped to admire his work. The place was actually picked up, not necessarily clean, but picked up.

Stuart hesitantly entered the room "Look guys I just wanted to apologize for the way I freaked out with you both.... and the way I talked to you Russ.... and eventually talk about anything you still wanna know since Murdoc.... well is himself..." he leaned closer them. Knowing Murdoc didn't explain much.

"And we decided to.... do something together, so maybe we won't come back till tomorrow...." he didn't get in details fidgeting with his fingers. He was really ashamed of what he had done. But would answer whatever they wanted to know.

Russel looked over at Noodle, who was looking at him, then they both turned to Stuart and smiled. Russel laughed a bit.

"Man, I'd never seen you that fired up about anything. It was crazy. If you weren't a string bean I might actually have been more scared of you. Plus it let me know you were serious, so it's fine." Noodle nodded along with him, a smile still on her face.

"I just.... it's kind of hard to believe, man." Russel said. "It's hard to believe Murdoc would do anything even close to a relationship.... and with you, no offense, but he used to hit you and make fun of you all the time. I thought he really didn't like you."

"Yeah," Noodle said, "he is very rude and gross 2D. However.... he has been much nicer recently." The both nodded in agreement.

"Just watch yourself, man. It is Murdoc Niccals after all.... I hate to bring up past memories but remember Paula?" Russel said.

"Well me either Russel.... it happened that.... well all the bugging and nicknames and all.... were a way of him telling me.... he actually liked me...." he shrugged. The way they spoke it didn't make sense at all.

When Russel told about Paula it made him think for a moment. The accident they had was something they never spoke about. It was like Stuart placed a rock on the subject and they were done. "I know about Paula Russ.... But she didn't like me in the end.... I wasn't enough. She wanted Murdoc" he shrugged again with this explanation. 

"Yeah he's a huge asshole.... But at least now we're together...." he couldn't believe he was saying that "He seemed to change a bit... I hope he only gets better from now on, with me and you too." He told them with a huge smile.

"Sorry not telling before.... and hiding this from you both... thought you wouldn't well accept.... or support...." he bit his lip. It wasn't right thinking that bad about his band mates they were a family right?

Russ put his hands up in defeat playfully and laughed, "Alright man. If you like keeping that green pickle in line by you, by all means go for it. We don't mind, right Noods?" He turned to see her nodding enthusiastically. He looked back at Stuart, "just promise me you won't fall too hard for the guy because we do care about you D and we just want you to stay realistic okay? But we definitely don't hate you or anything. You're a grown ass adult, same with Murdoc. So you guys said you'd be gone all night?" He turned to Noodle and she smiled at him.

"I will order pizza. You get movies!" She yelled jumping up to grab the phone.

"We'll be fine, D. See you tomorrow." Russel laughed and got up to go grab a movie.

Meanwhile Murdoc was on his bed after cleaning up. It didn't take him long, so he was able to lay down and go over everything that's happened this morning. When he replayed talking to Russel, he pushed a pillow over his in embarrassment.

"Fuck that was awful...." he mumbled into the pillow. He started to think about the things he could say to Stuart's parents if they happened to meet. He tried rehearsing it in his head, but it always ended badly.... generally with Stuart crying. He sighed and tried to continue working at it. This was for Stuart, he was going to do it one way or another.

Stuart waved goodbye to them with a smile. They were the best family he could have asked for. "See ya tomorrow guys..." he smiled

He silently went to the Winnie after going to his bedroom and picking up some stuff for him, his toothbrush, lube, pills and another pair of clothes if he needed. He was with a smile from ear to ear when he reached the Winnie opening it's door.

"Wow Mu’doc this place is clean! You did a good job" he complimented him. "Ready to go, love? Already warned Russel and Noodle they'll be fine..." He asked placing his backpack on the floor and looking around.

He was quickly to find his glove "Would you mind if I pick up Cortez?" He was curious if he would be able to do it and show Murdoc his skills. His mood was amazing and he felt like nothing could ruin it.

Murdoc sat up and threw the pillow back on the bed, giving a smirk to 2D and opening up his arms, gesturing to the entire area around him.

"Only for you love." He hopped up off the bed and walked over to 2D, watching 2D pick up the glove for Cortez. He was impressed at how brave 2D was being with the bird. If he had been there when Cortez plucked out that guys eye for Murdoc, he might think differently.

Stuart giggled and blushed. Murdoc was being really nice to him. He had never seen the Winnie that clean. He kissed his forehead to thank him.

His smirk was even bigger when Murdoc let him go for Cortez. He nodded and went outside with his glove.

To call Cortez' as Stuart couldn't whistle he tried another technique by shaking his keys and surprisingly it worked. The tiny creature came flying and landed on his gloved arm. The singer gave him the keys. Stuart smiled to him and scratched his neck "Ready for an adventure with me and your owner little buddy? You're meeting my parents...." he talked to him for a bit.... he really liked that bird and didn't find strange that Murdoc talked to him so much.

Soon he went back inside holding the crow "Ready to go Muds...." he smiled again.

Murdoc laughed when he saw the bird on 2D's arm. He was so skinny and the bird was so damn big, he was surprised Stu could hold him up. When Stu said he was ready, Cortez gave an overly loud caw, which was made worse by the enclosed space.

"Fuck, Cortez. He wasn't talking to you. You're going to break my eardrums you twat, then how am I supposed to hear Stu's beautiful voice?" He growled but gave the bird's neck an affectionate scratch. He looked up to Stu.

"Yeah, let's go. You can put Cortez on the back of the chair. He likes to sit there." He said while he walked to the driver's seat. He hadn't tried to drive this thing in a while, so he prayed to Satan it was fine.

He felt relief when it started fine and he put it in drive after Stu got settled. He started driving off to Eastbourne, settling in to the seat and getting comfortable.

Stuart flinched with that caw.it was pretty loud next to his ear. He blushed hearing that his voice was beautiful. Stuart was acting just like a teenage girl in love.

Stuart placed Cortez where he asked too. He didn't know about the Winnie either.... but oh well it worked. Soon he was sitting on the passengers seat smiling and scratching Cortez.

"Do you know how to get there Muds?" He asked curiously with his big black round eyes looking at him, holding his legs against his chest.

Murdoc nodded while watching the road. "I know how to get to Eastbourne, but when we actually get there, you'll have to be my map. I've only ever been there maybe.... I dunno, twice. Living farther up North in Stoke made it hard to get anywhere down as far as Eastbourne, especially when I was as broke as joke, you know?" He gave one of his nasally laughs. He remembered when he was younger. He was such a delinquent, still kind of is.

"When I had turned 18, maybe a little earlier, I had gotten the hell out of Stoke and tried forming some bands. Never worked out. Lived life on the edge, I did. Slept on couches, in alleys, on park benches, etc. Wherever I passed out that night. That was a rock and roll lifestyle." He remembered those days fondly, but he'd never choose to go back to that kind of lifestyle. He never mentioned the rougher times.

Stuart nodded.... maybe that was one of those moments Murdoc would began to talk about his life and what he had done previously to the singer. He just rested his face on his crossed arms at the top of his knees looking at him fondly and giving him full attention. Well maybe not full he had to share with Cortez. But he would listen as anything Murdoc wanted to share with him.... he wasn't even drunk and was speaking, that was a change....

"I can be your map when we reach there Muds...." he said softly "Well now that we're famous you don't have to do any of that anymore.... are we less rock and roll ‘cuz of that....?" He asked sweetly. Well now he was famous, had money and lived in a studio. Much better than those times right?

Murdoc laughed, "Well, I never stopped being part of the rock and roll lifestyle love. Can't take that outta me, yeah? Although, I have gotten softer thanks to a certain blue bird." He teased and smirked at Stuart.

"I always wonder what would have happened if I had been traded my soul for the ability to sing instead of for a successful band." He said. "I think I would have hated it. My dad used to dress me up in a Pinocchio costume and make me sing one of the bloody songs from it as a child. I was never a good singer and it was horribly embarrassing. But if I had sung well.... would he have kept doing that to me? Then I probably would have grown to hate singing, yeah? What do you think?" He asked Stuart. Cortez cawed behind him and chirped a few times.

"I wasn't asking you, you bloody chicken." Murdoc laughed as he looked at the bird in the rearview mirror.

Stuart chuckled and gave a bit of attention to the.... chicken. He gave him his keys again so he would be distracted. In one thing, Murdoc was right, he was so softer after Stuart came into his life. It made him smile proudly.

He didn't know about this show Pinocchio situation but he knew his father was no good.

"Well .... " he started. The question was a bit difficult for his slow mind "Guess it wasn’t a matter of singing well Muds.... it sounds more like a humiliation matter...." He thought for a second "Like if he made you sing that, and you were actually good in it.... he would find another way to humiliate you cuz eventually he would notice you like singing.... and.... he wouldn't allow you to do something you like and you're good in it? Would he....?" He was trying to understand how his father must think.... but he could be terribly wrong about him.

"You had to sing cuz he forced you.... and well.... you don't hate to sing nowadays. Even if it was embarrassing in the past. We recorded a song that you want even… So I think even if you did it well or not in the past you wouldn't grow up hating...."

Murdoc nodded. "I suppose you're right. When he'd done that when I was a kid, I told myself I'd never get on a stage for anyone else. It had to be for myself. I think it turned out alright. But, yeah, my father was a bastard. He didn't care about humiliating me, it was more about using me to get money to get a free beer or two." He frowned, but then smiled at 2D.

"You know, you forget the most important part. I probably wouldn't have met you D if that shit didn't happen. So I suppose all those beatings and humiliating moments were worth it in the end, yeah?" He gave a small chuckle. Cortez gave a few clucks of his tongue, holding the keys in on of his feet as he worked to chew them. Murdoc looked back at him and chuckled.  "Yeah, yeah, you too. Wouldn't have met you either."

Stuart now understood a bit more about Murdoc. He grew up hating the idea of someone forcing him into go to the stage.... but not the idea of going to stage itself. The singer smiled thinking about that. He was happy that he was sharing his memories too, even if they weren’t the best.

"Well, now you don't have anyone telling you how to do anything or using you, Muds.... You're your own boss... And you can buy yourself as many beers you want..." he chuckled "It  would be a loss if you gave up on your dream of having a band.... We wouldn’t be here...." another point was the fact that Murdoc learned that he could actually work with other people as a team, he wasn’t famous alone, and Stuart thought that it changed him to better too. Less selfish.

He looked through the window, it was a sunny day, but it would be cold. Thankfully with the other clothes he got he put two coats for both of them.

"Muds I usually don't quite think about the suffering parts we all had to go through.... Even if they were necessary for us to be where we are now...." he frowned a bit "Maybe focusing in the good ones is what gives me strength to go head y’know?"

He caressed the bird playing with the keys with him. Stuart always tried to be positive in life... That was why he was next to Murdoc having a civil conversation after all the beatings and fights they had.

"I suppose that's true Bluebird." He said keeping an eye on the road. "You always are positive.... I was just imagining how life would maybe be different if something had been different when I was younger. I used to do that a lot actually. However, a lot of them end up with me not crashing my car into your face so those were all rubbish. Some of those evils were necessary I suppose...." he was silent for a moment.

Talking about his childhood was always hit or miss. Sometimes he didn't mind, other times it was harder. He didn't want to scare Stu with all the details, otherwise he might start crying again. That was something he didn't want to see, not on this trip. His heart broke whenever his Bluebird cried.

"Anyways, talking about my past is depressing, what about you? How was your life growing up and all that?" He kept his eyes on the road, only turning to glance at Stu. When he saw he was with the bird, he gave them a smile.

"Well...." that was a question that Stuart wasn't quite used to. "After the coma and all that happened.... I think I lost a bit of my memories from my childhood" he frowned trying to focus in scratching Cortez "I lived in Crawley and my parents used to be a bit.... overprotective about me.... I was their only son and well.... my mother was a nurse and my father a mechanic...."

He glanced to Murdoc unsure of what to tell him that didn't sound "Oh I was happy when younger my parents loved me and I lived a life so much better than your shitty one".

 "I used to be clumsy since ever.... so they didn't quite let me do what normal kids did... cuz they were afraid I could get hurt.... when I fell from that tree they decided to take care of me even more often.... so I didn't use to go out, or have many friends... That was when I became addicted to my pills... As a nurse my mother gave me them... soon I was popping them for fun" Cortez cawed to his story, sounding like it was boring "I began smoking and drinking when younger to.... be a rebel..." he chuckled, it sounded pathetic "but it was that.... nothing special...."

He glanced to the window again, "When you found me that was my first job.... I wanted to show my parents I could handle something in life so I began working.... Even they telling me I didn't need it..." He shrugged. "At that time I was trying to impress birds as I had money due to work and could afford dates and presents.... some came and go into the shop pretending they knew something about keyboards" he shook his head "Well the only girl I ever dated was Paula, and as you know it didn't work...." he chuckled. His past was boring and a bit sad too.

"My little blueberry, the rebel." He teased and chuckled. "If I had been in high school with you, I could have taught you how to be a true rebel." He laughed and smirked. He thought it was funny that even in that scenario, Stuart's parents would probably still hate him. He wasn't particularly impressed that his mom supplied him pills to the point of Stuart being able to pop them for fun.

Murdoc frowned when he talked about Paul. "Yeah, well she was rubbish anyways, mate. I mean, absolutely ugly, too ugly for you, yeah? What kind of bird cheats on you with me, yeah?" He was panicking rambling slightly. At the time, it'd felt amazing to have a bird choose him over the pretty boy singer, till Russel caught them and broke his nose seven times. They'd never really talked about it after that. Now he still wasn't necessarily sorry. He's sorry he made out with her, but he's not sorry he got her away from Stuart before she did something worse to him.

He clenched his jaw, "I'm...... sorry about that...... by the way." He kept staring forward, nervous about what Stuart might say.

"I think I wouldn't handle if I tried to be a rebel Muds.... my health never was the best...." he chuckled. Not his health or his brain was the best in the end, but he thought it would be fun. Even stoke on tent being so far from Crawley, destiny managed to put them 2 together...... that was something funny to think about. He sighed. Was him too old to be a rebel now?

 His eyes widened about him telling sorry. But he wouldn't show how happy he was with those words. For him meant a lot. "Muds.... it's past now.... and being ugly or not.... that wasn't the point." He glanced at him "She didn't like me. It was totally one sided relationship .... it would end sooner or later you just.... helped I guess." just like he thought that he felt about Murdoc was unilateral.

"All those years I just.... forget her and forgive you. I was blind and It wouldn't have a future for us.... Well thank God Noodle is out guitarist.... you wouldn't handle her in the band for long...." he knew how nasty she was sometimes.... and she wasn't as talented as Noodle with guitar not even close.

"Mu’doc to be honest with you after I figure out what I felt for you.... I knew that I never liked her.... what I felt for her was.... attachment.... cuz I wanted attention. And she was with me just for sex y'know? She didn't even answer when I told her how much I liked her...." he chuckled again looking to Cortez... He was tilting his head curiously.

"What I never knew and never had the chance to ask was why did you do that? The truth." He asked in a soft tone. He wasn't angry with Murdoc anymore. In the time he was mad.... telling the Satanist he knew he loved her.... but it was a lie.

 If Paula never went out of his life, he would never be able to be with the bassist now. Again, he just wanted to understand Murdoc.

Murdoc bit his lip and stared straight ahead watching the road. This was more difficult of a question for him to answer, mainly because it showed how much of an asshole he is. The kid asked for the truth, he couldn't say no.

"W-well.... to be honest.... you had everything I had ever wanted and worked hard for. Everything was just kind of handed to you, you know? Yeah, I had to blacken your eyeballs for it, but it only made you more alluring. Bloody hell, I had just spent over 10 years of my life trying and failing to create bands, working odds and ends jobs to make ends meet and get money for gigs and equipment. So many failed attempts, I can't even count. Then you wake up out of this coma, looking like a punk rock god, you have a beautiful voice AND you can play instruments!" He was getting slightly worked up, he let go of his white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel then continued, without looking at Stuart.

"Then you bring this girl with you, who you just wanted to play guitar even though I didn't bloody want her. She sucked by the way. You were already acting like the band was yours, when it was, well mostly mine, but I did consider it kind of our band. She was demanding and tried to dictate things and you just let her. I found both of you annoying...." he said.

"Then, one day, I'm playing my bass and Paula says she wants to talk to me. Therefore, I followed her to the bathroom where she just started making out with me. I didn't stop her.... because I knew that if you found out, you'd want her out. I knew you wouldn't get rid of me.... I just found out the hard way." He pointed to his nose that Russel helped make because of that incident.

"Plus.... I kind of liked the idea of taking something that was yours, because I didn't think you deserved to have everything I ever wanted.... even if it was that ugly hag." He gripped the steering wheel again. He just admitted to being a self-centered, asshole. He knew he was, he just never admitted it quite like that before.

"I am sorry that I hurt you though...." he whispered.

Now after all years Stuart could understand she didn't like her. Stuart was young and didn't get many attention as Paula gave him.... he wanted Murdoc's and as he wouldn't have he attached himself to her. Now he could tell him all that.... that he overcome Paula and was with him. It was just an accident, past. And even Murdoc wrong about shagging Paula knowing that she was his gf, she wanted to cheat. So technically Murdoc wasn't that wrong in what he did.

Maybe that time Stuart would have shagged Murdoc's girlfriend if he had one and she wanted.... they were just immature in a fight for power.

"That's.... understandable, Muds...." he said in a lower tone. He noticed he was getting angry. Murdoc had a point things were much easier for Stuart.... but what he could do? It happened.... he never wanted to be a rockstar.... never even thought about that. Could he be sorry that for him things were easier and for Murdoc no? He swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry I let her do it all...." he was ashamed and even Cortez was silent for a moment. He just started his black eyes.

He was glad Murdoc finally explained what happened that day.... and he sounded honest, Paula wanted to cheat on him... Wasn’t Murdoc who tried anything... So Stuart was right she never liked him. Plus the Satanist was right, he wouldn't get rid of Murdoc. He bit his lip.

"I'm sorry you got your nose broken too...." he felt like apologizing too, as Murdoc told him he was sorry. He looked at him all the time.

"Just one more question about that Muds.... you said I didn't deserve anything you ever wanted.... you wanted a girlfriend?" He was a bit confused cuz Murdoc didn't keep Paula after the incident.... or ever dated anyone.

"That's okay, luv...." he smiled to him. It hurt, okay maybe a bit. It would have hurt a lot more if Murdoc had dropped him. On the other hand, tell him that it was just sex.

Murdoc chuckled. "No need to apologize Bluebird. None of it was your fault. It was mine. And no, it wasn't that I wanted a girlfriend, but the attention. You had girls fawning over you, you just never really noticed. But.... I shouldn't have kissed her. I shouldn't have jeopardized our band...." He kept looking forward, a little nervous to turn to look at Stuart.

"I was jealous of you...." he gripped the steering wheel. He hated saying it aloud. He never wanted to admit it, but he knew it was true. Stuart had everything he wanted and he had hated him for it. Christ, Stuart didn't even have control over any of it. He felt like an asshole.

Stuart's eyes widened again.... jealous? The hollow head didn’t even know he was that blessed or had all the things Murdoc told him. now he was aware of that. A large smile came to his face, and he looked to the window.... So Murdoc didn’t do it to hurt him deliberately. He was jealous.

"Well I.... didn’t even care about those girls on me...." he chuckled. "I wanted your attention. And I thought I'd never had the way I wanted." he admitted biting his lip, it was hard for him too. His heart raced with all his words… Murdoc was really apologizing not only for him but for the band. He recognized he did wrong and for Stuart it meant the world.

He wanted to touch him, hug him, make out with him.... it was a really touching moment, but he wouldn’t disturb him driving.... He focused on the window and Cortez. His words were the most meaningful and the most sincere he heard in years. Maybe this trip was really something good after all.

Now the singer thought there wasn’t anymore reasons for him to be jealous. They were together and the band was afloat. He looked at his hands with tiny burns. Now he knew Murdoc didn’t hate him, he hated his luck he didn’t even know he had.

Murdoc chuckled. He never understood why the kid wanted his attention so badly. He snuck a peak at the singer. He was quiet and staring at his hands. He figured he would ask.

"Why, uh.... Why do you like me so much Stu? Why did you want my attention so badly? I'm the guy that hit you with a car and damaged your eyes...." he didn't even mention all the other things he'd done. He didn't believe he deserved this kind of attention, especially from Stuart.

Again Stuart felt his brain burning trying to think of an explanation. He even stopped looking Cortez.... "Why Muds....?" That wasn't a question he was expecting from Murdoc. So he closed his eyes and tried to imagine Noodle asking him.

"I don't think that love is something explainable, Muds.... it just happens and you can't control...." he remembered the first time he felt his heart beat differently for Murdoc. "I know I should hate you after everything you put me through.... but I didn't.... that was a choice. I chose to forgive you and be thankful to the fact that you took care of me in my coma and I stayed with you.... I could have declined when you asked me to be your singer." He bit his lip.

"After that I started admiring you.... for what you did to achieve your dream.... for.... doing everything on your own not caring about what anyone would think.... being strong in a way I could never be in my life... I admire you for that.... your personality.... all you survived and was still alive and kicking" he smiled "and then I became your mate...." he opened his eyes “And we moved in together.... Muds when you find me I lived with my parents so I never lived alone...." he chuckled "And before Russel and Noods came it was just me and you" ok eventually Paula but it didn't matter.

 "We started seeing each other every day and living together and before I could notice you were the first thing I think about when I woke up.... and the last when I headed to bed.... my admiration was something more.... that it shouldn't be...."

"I was always attracted to you" he blushed thinking Murdoc was about him too "you're handsome.... I like your hair, your eyes.... your voice sound so certain.... so different from my whimper one.... I always loved the way my name sounded in it… I-I like the way your laugh sounds when it's genuine, even if it's cuz I fell from the stairs" he swallowed hard "I love you cuz you're you Mu’doc......." he looked to the window again fidgeting with his fingers "‘cuz of how you still take care of me, ‘cuz of the way you make me feel when you touch me... Even ‘cuz of the way you're crazy jealous about me since the beginning... I could give you many more reasons Muds...." he chuckled "Just have this in mind and.... don't try to understand.... sometimes I even don't understand myself...."

Murdoc couldn't believe what he was hearing. He didn't think Stu would be able to list off a million things he liked about him. Hearing it all was almost a little too overwhelming. He had a lump in his throat and his heart was aching slightly. Not in a bad way, but a good way. One that sent an ember of warmth through him that he'd never felt before. He could have stopped the Winnie right there on the road and hugged Stuart forever. Of course, he couldn't say or do any of that, since he had a hard time expressing feeling unless they were having sex or he was extremely angry or sad.

He was amazed at how Stuart could discuss it so easily. It was like a foreign language for Murdoc. He knew he needed to say something. He swallowed the lump down and kept looking forward.

"Thanks Stu," he said with a slight whisper, a smile on his face. He cleared his throat, "You're too fucking sweet." He chuckled and gave Stu a quick glance.

Stuart noticed by his body language that Murdoc was touched even him not reacting. He knew he couldn't say anything back.... it was easy for the singer tell what he felt and Murdoc deserved to know he was loved and who he was dealing with. He knew if they break up one day how Stuart felt about him. 

He wasn't disappointed at all.... but he was really curious to know why Murdoc liked him. Anyway he didn't ask.... he felt like he was forcing the Satanist to tell him sweet things about himself in return... Love wasn't like that... And Murdoc didn’t reacted the same way as him when it came to Russel... Stuart was afraid of a new disappointment and feel hurt again.... maybe it was ‘cuz he was beautiful and the end. As Murdoc said previously when it came to what they were. Well at least he wasn't hiding anymore. Good.

"You're welcome Muds...." he warmly smiled to him. "I'll rot your teeth if you stay with me long enough...." he joked with a small laugh distracting himself with Cortez. He caressed his face and neck wondering what he was thinking and tried to calm down. Murdoc's questions were so difficult for him. His knees came more to his chest and he rested his chin on the top of them. Why was he so much heart and no brain?

Murdoc decided he wanted to do something really sweet for Stuart, he just had to try to figure out what, and when. The kid deserved something and Murdoc had done nothing substantial the last couple weeks except sex and freaking out over little things. He wasn't very good at sweet though.... He needed some ideas.

He waited a few minutes to see if Stuart would ask him the same question. He panicked slightly, he wasn't sure what he'd tell him. That was something he needed to think of himself. It all happened so bloody quick, but he's tell him eventually. It just had to be right....

"So.... Stu. Um, what are your favorite rides at this funfair?" He asked, looking over at him. He tried giving him a sweet smile, he hoped it didn't look weird.

Stuart thought Murdoc was grimacing to him and chuckled "Definitely the Ferris wheel Muds.... from up there we can see the whooole town...." he chuckled thinking about that, quickly forgetting the question he would have made Murdoc.

 "I like the bumper cars too and the roller coaster" Cortez cawed noticing he was a bit happier. He smiled to the crow back.

"If I wasn't so tall I would go to carousel too.... but it's kinda weird me and bunches of children there...." he chuckled "When Noodle was younger I wanted to win her a teddy on those won prize knock downs but I have the aim of a storm trooper...." he thought for a second "But what I like the most is the food Muds.... Especially Cotton Candy." he closed his eyes thinking about it.

Murdoc nodded. The kid was giving him some good answers. He could make this romantic, right? Who the fuck was he trying to kid, the only date he'd been on was his last one with Stu and he'd gotten drunk. He started planning in his head on what to do with Stuart to make it fun and possibly romantic. This place meant a lot to Stuart, enough for him to suggest it, and his dad did work here. He felt a little pressure but he was determine to try.

He chatted with Stu about other things, meanwhile building a plan in his head for what to do with Stuart. It was only a couple of hours drive, which didn't take them long. Stu had to guide Murdoc around the place in the Winnie, which made Murdoc a bit frustrated, but he kept calm. When the finally found a spot to park the Winnebago, Murdoc gladly turned the thing off and turned to Stu.

"Well? Shall we?" He smiled and stood up, going and opening the door. Cortez flew out to stretch his wings. Murdoc wasn't worried, he'd be back later. He looked at 2D, waiting for him to lead the way.

Stuart stopped for a moment and went in front of him "Thanks Muds.... for  talking to me about yourself...." he said in a soft tone "you didn't even drink.... and I really appreciated you driving all the way here with me" he smiled really happy about his efforts. The singer kissed his cheek.

After they could leave, he placed both hands around his neck looking for his cross. He wanted to wear it "Can I....?" He bit his lip nervously but would understand if Murdoc said no.


	18. Funfair

Murdoc was surprised by 2D's question, shortly frozen by the sudden kiss to the cheek. He blushed slightly. It took him a second to understand what he meant. He looked down at his necklace. "Of course love."

He took it off himself and placed it around Stuart's neck. "And I'm glad we got to talk a bit." He took his hand and pulled Stuart's shirt collar down slightly to pull him in for a quick kiss. He smiled and started walking to the entrance of the funfair with him. "Where to first, love?" He asked.

Stuart smiled from ear to ear with his cross looking at it before placing a finger on his lips thinking.... "Let me show you the place first...." he grabbed his hand happily and began running towards the park. Cortez was cawing and flying around them probably looking for park food to steal from people.

Soon they arrived at the entrance. "Well here's the box office, we can buy a pass for the day to both of us.... this way we'll be able to go in any ride we want...." he grinned to him playing with his cross in the queue.

Soon a random guy appeared "Hey, the freak show is on that way...." he pointed to the singer that immediately stopped smiling. He laughed going away with his other stupid friends and Stuart felt desolated. "I-I'm sorry, Muds...." he was ashamed.

Murdoc growled at the guy, wrapping his arm around Stuart and pulling him closer. He would easily attack the guy, no one makes fun of his band, especially his singer and especially his date. He held himself back though, because he didn't want to get banned from the place for starting a fight outside the gates. He thought about how to get the guy while rubbing Stuart's arm, when suddenly he heard a caw. He smirked and turned towards 2D.

"Hey, love. Don't listen to them, yeah? Watch this." He gave a quick, high-pitched whistle, startling a few people by them in line. He heard the caw back and looked for the bird nearby. He held up his arm for the bird to land on, hissing when he dug his talons in.

Murdoc smiled deviously and leaned in to whisper to the bird. Cortez gave a loud caw in response and flew off towards where those guys walked off to. They were past the crowd so Murdoc couldn't see the events unfold, but he heard some screaming so he knew Cortez was doing his job pestering those kids. He gave a hearty, nasally laugh. He rubbed Stuart's shoulder and looked at him.

Stuart laughed and snorted "No way...." he said in amusement.... "Oh God Muds you're the best!..." he said loudly grabbing his arm and leaning closer him "Just don’t ask him to pluck his eye huh?" He whispered to him and gave him another kiss on the cheek, while everyone in the queue looked at the two freaks in love. Cortez cawed to him when he finished pestering. He grabbed something shiny from those kids Stuart thought it was a necklace or sorta.

Soon it was his turn, he asked for two passes and the woman behind the desk recognized him flashing him a big flirting smile and a confused face to Murdoc. Stuart smiled back to her and presented him as his "boyfriend". The girl's brow rose in surprise.... but Stuart's smile was still plastered in his a little red face.

He gave Murdoc his pass "That was one of the birds I mentioned you, maybe more of them will recognize me while we're in the fair, hope you don’t mind...." Stuart would tell all of them that he was taken and Murdoc was his boyfriend. Even if his father appeared.

He blushed profusely when Stuart kissed him on the cheek. He almost forgot the kid was probably going to do that in public, but he realized he didn't care. It was sweet and he was glad to cheer the singer up.

"Of course he won't go after his eye.... unless he tries to mess with you again." Murdoc laughed. He was partially serious though. He didn't want anyone ruining this day for Stuart. He'd do anything to make sure that didn't happen.

While 2D was grabbing the passes, he noticed the girl give his singer a flirtatious smile. He scowled at her when she looked at him, but he blushed and wore a slightly shocked expression again when Stuart introduced him as his boyfriend. He really needed to get used to that.

Murdoc frowned when Stu mentioned afterwards that more girls might be recognizing him. He had to keep Stu close to him. Without realizing it, he wrapped his arm around Stuart's waist as they walked and he pulled him closer. "It's fine Stu, they better just realize that you're mine...." he warned, surveying the fun fair now that they were inside.

"So, love. Food, rides, or games first?" He smiled at Stuart.

Stuart blushed when Murdoc grabbed his waist, but he was really happy. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders as he was shorter "rides, I wanna go to the roller-coaster," he said grinning. "Let's go to the games last Muds, if I or you win something we can put it into the Winnie......" he was really positive about winning something that day.

Murdoc was so sweet and not ashamed of him he felt his heart fluttering with joy. They went to the queue that was short. "We can eat later too, If I eat and go to rides I'll puke..." he grimaced.

Murdoc nodded, "Good point." He looked up at the roller coaster and flushed a bit. He'd never been on one, wouldn't be that bad right? He hated planes, but this also wasn't in the air.... he pursed his lips and gulped. He'd give it a try at least, but he was a bit nervous. He held onto Stuart's waist a little tighter.

"So...." he started, "these are pretty safe, yeah?" He looked all around him at the people in line. They didn't seem as nervous, so that was a good sign. He bit his lip.

Stuart smiled from ear to ear "Oh God you're scared Muds...." he giggled lowly grabbing his arm. "Look I didn’t have courage to go in it when I was here before... I want to go now ‘cuz I have you...." he purred. "It's safe.... don’t worry.... if you be scared you can hold my hand...." he interlaced his finger with Murdoc.

Soon another girl appeared, this one looked even younger than the last. she poked his back saying hi, long time no see. Stuart greeted her back

"So you finally had the courage to face the roller coaster Stu....?" she told him with a smile, ignoring totally Murdoc.

"Yeah.... Now I'm not alone...." he said terribly fond leaning against the bassist. The girl's smile faded noticing she wouldn’t be able to go along with the singer.

Murdoc nodded and squeezed his hand, not even worrying about being embarrassed. He was scared, but he wasn't going to outright say it. He was interested to hear this would also be Stuart's first time as well, made him feel a little better, but then how could he know it's safe?

Murdoc pondered that for a moment till they were interrupted by the girl talking to Stuart. He frowned and pursed his lips, watching the scene unfold before him. He frowned at the girl, not taking his eyes off her as she looked over at him. Gave a small nod, then decided to give her a charming smile so he wouldn't seem like a huge asshole.

"Murdoc Niccals." Was all he said, holding up his and Stu's hand he was holding to give a small wave. He knew he was being facetious but he didn't care at the moment. "How do you do, darling?" He said.

The girl shyly smiled to him he was really charming. "Fine.... I'm Stuart's friend..." She told him in a much lower tone than she used with the singer. He told all of them his real name and soon they began calling him by it and not 2D.

"He told me about you.... bassist of Gorillaz right?"

Stuart smiled to both of them, thank god Murdoc didn’t yell at her. "Yeah and my boyfriend...." he said proudly showing his lack of teeth again.

The girl soon gave an excuse saying that she needed to meet her mother that was calling her, obviously a lie. Stuart just shrugged, they were next in line, and he was thrilled.

When the girl walked away he snorted, "Damn, Stuart, you're brutal. How many girls hearts did you break this last summer?" He turned back towards the front of the line, realizing they were next. He gulped, getting nervous again.

When it was their turn, they ended up in the very front. When the bar came down in their laps, Murdoc started cursing under his breath as he tried to keep from hyperventilating. He turned noticed two older teens watching him in the seat behind him.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" He snarled. They stayed quiet, startled and looked any other way.

Stuart flinched and laughed at his comment "I don't know Muds.... some people call me freak, some people like me... it's disturbing" he felt really confused about the reactions he had towards him. And he didn’t care about breaking hearts... He needed to tell all the truth.

Once they were on the roller coaster, his eyes were shining. He noticed Murdoc nervous and when he yelled at the other two Stu was quick to grab his hand. He didn’t give a fuck about them "Muds you can call Cortez to pest them later.... focus on the ride, love...." he told him laughing.

Murdoc frowned and held his hand, turning forward. When the coaster started, moving it's way slowly up the ramp, he squeezed his hand even harder while the other was holding onto the bar in front of them for dear life. His stomach felt like it was in his throat. The ramp was painstakingly slow and he hated every minute of it. He hated even more that Stuart didn't seem as scared.

When they reached the top and it started going down, he yelled, let go of Stu's hand and instead wrapped his arms around Stu entirely. He yelled the entire way down and through every turn. He was able to keep his eyes open and he saw that there was a bright flash at one point, taking their pictures. He didn't care though, he was just trying to get through this ride.

When they reached the end, and the thing came to a slow halt, he sat there gripping onto Stu, not letting go. He hair was messy and windblown, his teeth clenched.

Stuart laughed all ride...... He couldn’t believe Murdoc was that scared. Of course he was thrilled too but having his arms around him was really pleasant.

The Satanist screamed like a scared cat all ride but Stuart loved that, and the singer swore he would hear Cortez "laughing" somewhere near them.

In the end he wiped his eyes after laughing so hard combing Murdoc's hair back in place and grabbing him by his wrist going out to see how the photo was.

Stuart couldn’t help laughing.... Murdoc was ridiculous hugging him like his life depended on that and Stuart was yelling at the photo showing the bottom of his throat. "God I'll buy this one, first time of Murdoc in a Roller coaster...." he held him close in a hug and kissed his cheek "Smile love, you survived...." he joked.

Murdoc grumbled, embarrassed. "Show anyone that and I'll murder you." He crossed his arms and pouted. He couldn't believe how much he screamed on that ride and he held onto Stuart the entire time. He took a deep breath and let it out, trying to relax. That had rattled his nerves slightly, but he remembered he was going to make this a special day for Stuart. He put on a smile and looked up at Stuart.

"What would you like to ride next? Bumper cars? Log flume? That pirate ship swing thing? That large swing? Whatever you like, I'll do.... except that roller coaster again. Only way I'm getting on that is if I'm drunk." He grabbed his hand and gave it a small squeeze. He did admit he was having fun and Stuart was adorable with as happy as he was acting. It made him happy too.

Stuart laughed. Drunk he would throw up for sure...."I won’t show anyone Muds.... It's just mine for life...." he walked excitedly to the next ride "bumper cars" he wanted to show his abilities while driving. "This one you're not scared right?" they arrived the queue.

"I used to work in this one pretty often Muds.... I cleaned the cars, the floor, fixed when one was broken .... It was really tiring..." he pointed around to what he did "my father sometimes ordered me to test the cars so I used them alone here.... I liked that...."

Murdoc shook his head in excitement, "I'm not scared for this, you know firsthand I'm good at running into things." He gave Stu a quick wink and a laugh.

"Wow, you really did all that?" He was impressed, the kid was clumsy and he didn't know he could actually fix anything.

"Should we ride in one where only one drives, or should we each get our own and ram into each other?" He asked excitedly. He didn't care either way but he knew it'd be fun. He laughed as he watched other people in the cars now getting rammed into, kids crying, people laughing. It was truly Murdoc's kind of ride.

Stuart frowned at his running through things.... of course he knew.... But he didn’t want to be remembered.

"Yeah I needed to, was my job, Muds" he laughed "I won’t share a car with you old Goth, If i can hit you with one...." he nudged him on the arm playfully.

Soon he stopped when Murdoc laughed, he was infatuated even with his laugh.... he had his heart racing looking at him for a moment. He really hoped he was happy with his idea. His face blushed after a while and he looked in another direction. Soon it was their turn.

When it was their turn, Murdoc gave Stu a small playful push and rushed to one of the cars, hopping in. He smiled deviously ready to crash into everything he could.

When they could start, he even ran into Stu, but he didn't go quite as hard with him. When he ran into him, he stopped, giving the singer a playful wink when he turned to look at him.

Suddenly, he was interrupted by a hard hit from the side. It jarred him slightly and he growled to see who it was. Some older girls, probably 18 or 19. They were laughing and turned to Stu to try to talk to him.

"Hey cutie!" One of them said. Murdoc rolled his eyes. He really didn't think he'd have to start beating girls off with a stick here, but he was ready to if need be.

Stuart recognized the girls giving them a wave. But soon he looked at Murdoc with the same devious smile and blatantly crashed against them "oops...." he hit the reverse gear and got near Murdoc "care helping, mate?" He asked him slamming the throttle to crash them again.

Those were girls who knew he used to work in there. Now he definitely didn’t want to deal with them. He gave up crashing Murdoc to focus on them.

Murdoc snickered and gripped the wheel, "Gladly." He ran into them as well, then when they glared at him he smiled wide and hung his long tongue out. They seemed a little freaked out and after getting rammed by Stuart again, they decided to get away from them. He gave Stu a high five and laughed, then him and Stu decided to team up and run into people together. They got a ton of glares and curses but Murdoc laughed at everyone of them. This was his kind of ride.

When they got done, he got out of the car, laughing and grabbing onto Stuart's arm as they walked out of the rink.

"Now that was fun!" He smiled at Stuart. "I want to do the log flume next!! Let’s get wet!" He said excitedly. He couldn't remember the last time he was this excited, if he'd even ever been this excited. He felt like a kid again.

Stuart laughed looking at him. He was really handsome being well... Mean with other people. "To the log flume" he yelled.

When he turned around, he saw the girls coming out of their car and quickly pressed his lips against Murdoc's for them to see. They grimaced and ran away. That time Stuart knew it was just the two of them against the world.

He knew Murdoc will get embarrassed with his act but he was quick to say "Race to the Log Flume, who reached there in last buy food...." And began running and laughing leaving the Satanist behind.

Murdoc was completely surprised by the sudden grab and kiss. He froze, hardly aware of anything going on except Stuart's lips against his. He tried kissing back but the kiss was too quick. When Stuart pulled away and looked somewhere he kept staring, but not really looking at anything, a blush encompassing his entire face. He couldn't even move, he wasn't even sure he was breathing.

Stuart brought him out of his mini trance, challenging him to a race. He watched him run for a second, then smiled and ran after him. He couldn't catch up to the long legged kid, even if he seriously wanted to. He liked watching Stuart in front of him, he especially liked his ass, which he stared at more than he should.

When they got to the ride, he was completely out of breath. "Holy shit," he said between gasps. "I'm super out of shape Stuart, don't make me exercise again. He held onto his own hip, trying to get a stitch out of his side. He gave the kid a sweet smile when he saw him watching him.

Stuart knew he would won, he was totally dishonest in that. But he was smiling, now he knew why Murdoc always cheated.... winning was really good.

He leaned closer his ear panting as he was tired "Oh I'm sorry if you're old and can’t run Muds, but I want to make you exercise very soon if you catch my drift... So hold on with your heart" he joked and turned around resting his arms folded on the handrail, showing him his ass and sticking his tongue out through the gap on his teeth, totally adorable.

He was loving all that "Let's get wet, love" he said excitedly.

Murdoc's eyes widened when he suddenly teased him. He was going to do that here? Fuck, Murdoc had to keep from getting hard. When he looked up and saw 2D leaning with his ass out and he said let’s get wet, he bit his lip hard and swallowed.

"Holy hell Stu, what are you trying to do to me?" He said breathlessly. He licked his lips, but then shook his head quickly. He needed to get away from Stuart's ass or he was going to jump the kid here and now. He discreetly adjusted his pants and walked ahead to get in line.

"Come on, you cock tease." He whispered to him as he walked passed. He suddenly wondered what it's be like to fuck the kid in this park behind one of the rides. He smiled to himself, imagining Stu pushed up against a wall with his ass out. He shook his head again to push those thoughts away. Now wasn't the time.

Stuart giggled at his tease. It worked.... he wanted to make things interesting to Murdoc too and he had already thought about fucking him there.... well the Winnie was there for some reason....

Soon they were on the top of that thing, Stuart looked down to see all the water falling and smiles to Murdoc.

 And now another girl appeared, but this time she was wearing the top part of a bikini, once again flirting with Stuart.... she was even bolder than the previous ones coming to him and asking "Want see me getting all wet, sweetie....?" she asked him blatantly flirting with the singer.

Stuart blushed hard as who he was trying tease was Murdoc not people around. he looked to the bassist unsure of what to do.

Murdoc frowned and pursed his lips. Another one.... now he remembered why him and Stuart never used to go out together as often. He hated watching girls fawn over him all the time. This time, however, was different. He wasn't jealous, he was mad at people trying to take his singer.

He clicked his tongue and decided he needed to intervene this time. He walked up to Stu, put his arm around his waist, and pulled him close. Then he looked at the girl and smiled charmingly, "Sorry, doll, the only wet tits this guy's going to be seeing is mine. Sod off, yeah?" He then frowned and stuck his long tongue out at her. He gave a nasally chuckle and walked farther up in line with Stu, his arm still tightly around his waist.

Stuart held him back happy that he saved him. Again he kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear "Thank you my hero.... and by the way, your tits are covered with band aids... if we're getting wet you should take them off...." he remembered him softly, going to his seat on the ride. "Hope they're better by now...." he smiled at him tenderly.

He pretended those girls weren’t bothering him, but it was a lie, he only hoped Murdoc didn’t mind.... he wasn’t expecting to go back there with him as a boyfriend showing everyone.

Murdoc slapped his palm against his face. He completely forgot about the band-aids on his nipples. They'd been there for over a day, he definitely forgot. He gave a small laugh and looked up at Stuart.

"I'll save you any time love. Cover me yeah?" He said as he turned to Stu so he could stick his hand down his shirt without looking too odd. He grabbed a hold of one and tried pulling onto to find it really stuck on. It hurt to pull.... it hurt a lot. He sat looking forward as the ride started moving.

"Fuck it." He laughed. He had an idea. He held onto Stuart's hand as they went through the small twists and turns of the ride, and he got excited as they neared the top where it fell downwards on the ramp. He gave a devious smile, he knew this one was going to take a picture too.

As they went over the crest of the edge and started going down the ramp, water flying everywhere and all over them, he let go over Stuart's hand and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. He lifted it up over his face so his band-aid covered nipples were clearly showing as their entire body got soaked on the way down. He saw the flash through his shirt and brought it down laughing hysterically.

Stuart wasn't stupid, when Murdoc didn’t take them off he knew he was planning something stupid.

"Christ Mu’doc you're unbelievable.” he said laughing as much as him. Once the ride was over he ran holding him by his hand to see the picture. There was it no face and two band-aids.... "I'll call this one Murdoc's wet tits.... First place in a wet t-shirt contest" he laughed again. Both man were wet but really happy. Stuart was with a white shirt so it was kinda transparent.

"Where you wanna go now love? Eat?" he asked obviously buying the photo.

Murdoc was grinning ear to ear when he saw Stuart's see through shirt. He just kept staring, almost not hearing the man ask him a question. He snapped himself out of it and looking up at Stu.

"What? Oh yeah, sure! I think you should win first, love. Your tits are fantastic." He teased and smiled up at him. He grabbed his hand and took him to a food vendor. He grabbed each of them a hot dog and some curly fries with a drink. Of course Stuart wanted cotton candy. Murdoc bought him one and he passed some of it on his nose, making the Satanist angry than laughing.

 They then sat down and started eating. The hot dog was okay, it wasn't great but it'd do for now. He made a few dick jokes with the hot dog as they ate, hoping to get Stu to laugh.

Murdoc grabbed one of the curly fries and held it up, offering it to Stu to eat. "Want me to feed you?" He laughed softly.


	19. David Pot

Stuart noticed he was in a great mood. He laughed all the time with Murdoc and was falling in love with him again. He found the idea really pleasant and opened his mouth. When he did that he noticed his father coming closer them and froze in place... 

"Muds...." he tried to point at him approaching their table with a smile. Obviously not noticing who was with him was Murdoc. The singer even stopped eating.

Those girls might have gossiped to him that he was in the park. He silently placed his hot dog down giving him a smile.

Murdoc didn't understand what 2D stopped for, the kid just looked extremely worrier all of a sudden. He turned around to see what he was looking at and noticed a man walking up to them. He didn't recognize Stuart's dad right away, he hadn't seen him for maybe 6 years. When he realized it was him he quickly turned back around and hunched down looking desperately at Stuart.

"Hi Stu! I didn't know you were going to be in town." His dad sounded exactly the same as Stuart, only a little thicker of an accent. He also looked kind of like Stuart, skinny and tall. He had brown hair and a hazel colored eye. Stu got his normal blue eyes from his mom he'd noticed.

"And who's your friend?" He said right next to Murdoc. He must not have remembered Murdoc or didn't realize it was him. Murdoc stayed still, watching Stu.

Stuart took a deep breath before talking "hey dad...." he tried to sound confident giving him a smile without teeth losing his appetite all of a sudden "It's Mu’doc don't you remember him....?" He told him casually. Wouldn't lie to his father.

He didn't even feel like hugging him or even standing up to talk to him. "We came all the way from Essex here. Muds brought me...." he explained smiling to the Satanist.

Murdoc swallowed and turned to give Mr. Pot a small wave. "Hi Mr. Pot...." he said meekly. "Long time no see, yeah?" He chuckled but stopped when his dad didn't laugh. He turned back around and looked down. He didn't even look at Stu.

After a moment of silence, Mr. Pot finally spoke, "You came here with him? Why would you come here with him? And Muds?" He looked down at Murdoc.

"What are you doing here Murdoc? I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again? Remember? After you damaged my son's face the second time?" Murdoc flinched like he was being physically hit each time the man spoke. He cleared his throat and looked up towards him.

"Well.... I might remember you saying something about.... that. But Stuart wanted to come and so I brought him." He tried to give him a convincing smile. "It's a real great park, everything works real well, you're doing a smashing job." Mr. Pot kept frowning at him, saying nothing. Murdoc turned back to Stu and looked apologetic. Mr. Pot also looked up at Stuart, frowning.

"I work with him, dad." He said in a serious tone. "We had a day off work and .... I suggested coming here." He looked up to look at his face.

"Even if you don't want to see him, this is a public space and I can bring Muds here with me. He's not causing any trouble" well maybe some.... he smiled softly to Murdoc complimenting his father. He made a good job.

Straightening his body a bit, his father was allowed to see the upside down cross hanging aroun his neck. He frowned to him back wanting him to go away.

Mr. Pot saw the cross around his neck and he looked upset for a moment, "Stu, I thought you liked Buddhism? Why are you wearing an upside down cross like Murdoc now?" He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Stuart, can I please talk to you.... alone?" He looked down at Murdoc, expecting him to leave. Murdoc didn't realize Mr. Pot was waiting for him to leave since he wasn't looking at him.

"Murdoc, can you please leave so I can talk to my son?" He asked, a little more harshly. Murdoc flinched a bit and looked up.

"Oh! Yeah, sorry." He said, giving Stuart one last look before getting up quickly and walking a ways away. He looked back, biting his lip. Then he put his hands in his pockets and looked around at some rides and some of the people. He was a little nervous, wondering if Stuart was going to tell his dad.

Meanwhile, Mr. Pot watched Murdoc walk away. He noticed the guy was much tamer than the last time they'd met, a little more polite too. He still didn't like him and he couldn't figure out why his son did. He sighed and sat down where Murdoc had been, across from Stuart and looked at him.

"What's going on? Why wouldn't you let me know you're coming? Instead I have to hear about it from your friends?" He looked a little hurt, waiting for a reply.

Stuart sighed when he watched Murdoc leave. His chest hurt but he swallowed hard and let it pass just giving him a sad glance.

"Look dad, I didn't let you know ‘cuz I would bring Murdoc along.... and I know you don't like him" he looked at his cross "It's his cross I'm wearing and I'm still Buddhist...." he frowned really angry and hurt. "Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you but...... Murdoc isn't only my friend anymore. I work for him in his band.... and this is our day off."

He had a serious look "We just came here to have fun. He's not doing anything wrong not with me or anyone else here. He wanted to talk to you.... and finish this.... this thing you both hate each other. I already forgave him.... and .... and" he was angry and lost his train of thought looking down.

Mr. Pot pursed his lips, frowning. His son looked really upset.... was it cause of him or Murdoc? He said Murdoc wanted to talk to him? He gave another sigh and nodded.

"Okay, fine, I'll go talk to him." He said, getting up and walking over to Murdoc. If that's what it took. He was slightly hurt his son wouldn't tell him he was here but he did know he didn't like Murdoc so that could be why. He stopped in front of Murdoc and crossed his arms.

"So, my son said you wanted to talk to me?”

Murdoc flinched slightly, gulping and nodding. He looked at Stuart, who looked upset, but wouldn't look at him. Shit this was just like this morning. His heart raced and he looked back at Mr. Pot.

"Uh, yeah.... um, first of, I'm.... sorry about hurting your son. I've told him this, but I wanted to say it to you too. It was probably really hard on you and Mrs. Pot...." his hands were still in his pockets, and he kept looking down, glancing at Mr. Pot every now and then. Mr. Pot continued to purse his lips and not say anything. Murdoc came increasingly nervous, but determined to do this.

"And.... and...." he took a deep breath and swallowed and looked directly at him, "I'm.... dating your son...." He watched as Mr. Pot's face went from a frown, to shocked, to angry in a span of a couple seconds. He shook his head in disbelief.

"Excuse me? What?" He whispered, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked to get angrier.

"I'm.... dating Stuart." He said again with a little more confidence. "I.... like him.... a lot.... uh, actually more like, um...." Murdoc fidgeted a bit.

Mr. Pot was in complete disbelief, he was getting angry. How could this man, the man who ran his stolen car into his sons face, barely took care of him for a year and hurt him again, say he LIKED his son? The pain he and his wife suffered for an entire year, thinking their one and only son was never going to wake up again, because of this man. Then he somehow convinced their son so join his band and now date him? He was sure Murdoc was either fucking with him or had brainwashed his son somehow.

"I love him, Mr. Pot." Murdoc said, interrupting his thoughts. He was shaking slightly, but continued, "I'm truly sorry for what I did, but I love him and I promise to never hurt him ever again. I'd rather die. I'd honestly do anything for him.... I'm not very good at explaining my feelings." He quickened his talking as he saw Mr. Pot get angrier.

"I really care about him.... I-" he was interrupted by a quick punch to the face from Mr. Pot. It surprised him so much it knocked him back and to the ground. He held his cheek and looked up in surprise, ignoring the bystanders now watching. Mr. Pot stood there breathing hard.

"You don't get to say you care about him! Not after what you did!" He said between clenched teeth, looking teary eyed. Murdoc slowly got up and looked at him.

"Look, I can't take back what I did." Murdoc whispered, his cheek radiating a bit of pain. "Satan knows I would.... but he's my singer and I love him. I'll do anything for him, a-and I'm going to try to make it up to him. I know I can't completely, but I do want to make him happy. I'll do anything for him...." he gulped, watching Mr. Pot stand there simmering. Without another word he turned and walked away. "Shit...." Murdoc whispered.

Stuart watched everything that happened.... from the distance he couldn't hear what they were talking.... he was at the point of biting his nails.... soon he saw that punch and his heart dropped. He yelled "Mu’doc" and ran after him.

He kneeled in front of him "Christ Mu’doc, what happened......?" He was really sorry for the bassist but was much angrier with his father.

Without reasoning, he went after his father and pulled him by his shoulder "Why did you do that?" He almost yelled with tears pooling his eyes "What did he told you for you punch him?"

Mr. Pot turned to his son, he was breathing hard, his teeth clenched and still upset. "That man," he hissed, "Said he loved you. What the hell is going on Stuart? Why am I hearing this from him?!" He grabbed 2D's shoulders gently. "He hurt you Stuart! Look at your eyes! Look at your teeth! For a whole year we thought we'd never get to see you talk ever again!" He head a few tears streaming down his face. That year had been the darkest of his life, he hated thinking about it.

Meanwhile, Murdoc just watched Stuart run over to his dad who had walked a ways away. He gingerly touched his cheek and checked his teeth with his tongue to make sure they were all there. He'd been hit harder before, but he hadn't been expecting this punch. He saw people still staring at him.

"The show's over, move on you wankers." He growled and walked back over to where they'd been sitting before. He slumped down into his seat, staring at his food. He waited for Stuart, hoping the kid wouldn't hate him or cry again.

Now Stuart was really upset with his father his eyes turned white "I'm sorry!" He yelled back "You’re hearing all that ‘cuz what he said is true...... I'm sorry for being like this.... but Mu’doc learned his lesson" he couldn't believe Murdoc really told him he loved him.... was a dream come true but we'll it wasn’t happening like it was....

He swallowed his tears and his crying to talk to his father. He knew Murdoc would hate seeing him cry. And deep inside Stuart was so happy he confessed to him.

"I love Mu’doc!" He yelled "And I know all that happened for Christ sake. I know he's not the best. I know he hurt me.... he hurt you both.... but it already happened... he apologized to me and  we can't do anything about that now.... I know all that dad.... I'm not a child anymore.... but it's my choice .... and I chose him...." he was trembling from anger.

 "You may hate him, may hate me for that.... but I wanna be with him.... he makes me happy...." he bailed his hands into fists. "It's my life, dad you should respect my decision and not punched him in the face"

Mr. Pot relaxed a bit, seeing his son so upset, "Stuart, I don't hate you. I never could. I just.... you could do so much better. There are so many pretty girls, even here, that like you. A-and if it's guys then fine, but.... does it have to be him?" He asked. He felt like this was a losing battle for him. He loved his son, more than anything, so he knew if he really chose Murdoc, there wasn't much he could do.

He gave a defeated sigh, "Does he at least treat you well?" He almost cringed asking. He didn't want Murdoc with his son, but if it was going to happen he was at least going to make sure Murdoc was taking care of Stuart.

Meanwhile, Murdoc snuck a glance to the two talking. He got nervous and looked around instead. His face hurt, so that helped him focus on that instead. He was fidgeting and picking at the rest of the fries he had, not eating. He felt like he was going to puke.

"I know I know.... he told me that ...." he said wiping his tears a bit less angry. "He told me I could do better.... he told me he doesn’t deserve me.... but he also begged me to stay...." he took a deep breath not to cry. "It has to be him ‘cuz.... I love him dad.... it happened.... and all those girls here just annoy me...." he told him with his eyes going back to its normal color.

"He does dad.... I know it's hard for you to believe.... but Murdoc isn't the lad you met years ago.... he takes care for my pills for me.... he remembers me about eating.... helps me through my headaches.... he turned my into his front man.... he even tie my shoelaces for me dad... " he chuckled "I'm sorry for being this disappointment... and I know you're angry but please, please dad give him a chance.... I gave and was me in a coma...." he said almost breaking again. "If I'm wrong and he's no good for me... please let me learn with my own mistakes okay? All I ask you...."

Mr. Pot sighed again and looked at Stuart for a moment. After wiping the tears off his face, he finally gave a small nod and then gave Stuart a small, sort of sad smile.

"Stuart, I could never be disappointed in you. I just don't want to see you hurt.... but you're right. You should learn your own lessons, that's life and you're an adult. But I'll always worry about you, you are my only child." He gave him another smile. He looked over at Murdoc and saw him fidgeting at the table. He still didn't like him, but he could at least be civil for Stuart. Maybe the guy's changed.... maybe.

He pat Stuart's shoulder and looks at him, nodding towards Murdoc. "Go over to him and.... I'll be back in a moment okay? We'll work this out. I just need to grab something." He gave Stuart one more quick smile and turned, walking away to grab what he needed.

Stuart listened to him carefully and before he could answer his father was gone.

He decided to go to Murdoc.... his eyes red from crying and a forced smile on his face. He didn't know what his father needed to grab and was curious about that. Thankful that he gave Murdoc a chance....

He sat in front of him and noticed his face was really sore from that punch. "Muds.... I'm sorry...." he placed a hand on his face.... the singer didn't know what to say or do.... he was really ashamed of his father's behavior.

"My father said he's coming here.... to talk to you and work this out......" he whispered some people still looking at them. He looked at his food and noticed he totally lost appetite.

Murdoc flinched when Stuart touched his cheek. He then smiled at the boy as best he could. He grabbed his hand gently and kissed it.

"At least he's willing to work it out right? I'm willing Stu.... for you." He squeezed his hand gently and chuckled. "I kind of deserved that punch, probably more...." he looked at Stuart lovingly.

"Here." Mr. Pot said suddenly next to him, Murdoc flinched and tensed. He felt something cold on his face and he looked up. Mr. Pot was holding an ice pack to his face, a frown on his face as he looked at Murdoc. Murdoc grabbed the ice pack slowly and held it closer to his face.

"Thanks." He mumbled as Mr. Pot sat down, nodding and looking between the two men. Murdoc kept his eyes down, he didn't want to anger Mr. Pot anymore and cause Stu more stress.

"So.... Murdoc. I'm not going to apologize for hitting you. That was way over due for what you did to my son." Murdoc just nodded in agreement and listened. Mr. Pot continued, "but, my son seems to be, uh.... in love with you, so I'm going to try to be more civil. We can do that right?" Murdoc looked up at him this time and nodded. Mr. Pot held his hand out for Murdoc to shake.

Murdoc shook his hand without hesitation. "I have a lot to make up for, I know that. I'm going to try." Murdoc said in a determined manner. Suddenly, Mr. Pot gripped his hand and pulled him close.

"If you hurt him my son again, I will kill you." He whispered to him, their faces close. Murdoc gulped and nodded quickly.

'Yes sir." He said quickly.

Stuart listened to both man closely. He knew his father was probably threatening him, but well Russel did the same.... Everyone seemed to defend him with nails and teeth when it came to Murdoc. He sighed.

"So.... are we good.... I mean.... can we talk civil?" he asked looking to both man, happy that his father gave Murdoc an ice and he actually was giving him a chance. He interlaced his fingers with Murdoc and looked at his father. "Thank you dad...." he said holding back tears.

He hoped all this things didn’t affect their day in the park. The singer still wanted to go in some rides.... he was so happy with Murdoc doing what he did that he didn’t even care about asking why he liked him. He really liked him and that was the most big incredible and amazing thing Murdoc could have ever done.... he felt his eyes watering again but wouldn’t cry. Even his hunger was coming back.

Mr. Pot let go of Murdoc's hand and nodded to him, to which Murdoc gave a nod back. He looked at Stuart and smiled, "I think we're good. I gotta get back to work, but before you leave come with me to say hi to your mother, yeah? We can go have dinner or breakfast tomorrow before you leave. Sound good boys? We can talk more then." He says getting up and clapping Murdoc on his shoulder. He then leaves to go back to work.

Murdoc looks up at Stuart, ice pack on his face. "Stu, why are you all teary eyed now?" Murdoc asked concerned. He was worried he'd screwed up again somehow. He squeezed Stuart's hand.

The smile on the singer's face was wide, brilliant, shiny.... "I'm happy Muds.... I'm so happy....I thought this would never happen...." he leaned closer him and pressed his face on his shoulder

"I can't believe you did all this.... It meant the world for me Mu’doc... you really changed...." he said sniffling "I can't put in words how much i love you...." he sighed.

 "I think this is the best day of my life.... after meeting you o'course...." he nuzzled his face against him. "You really showed me you love me.... I'm really sorry you got punched for that but.... Oh Muds....Thank you thank you so much....'" he wrapped his arms around him. "Fuck, I could marry you right now...." he chuckled a bit trying to calm himself down.

Murdoc chuckled and, after putting the ice pack down, wrapped Stuart into a big hug. "I said I'd do anything for you Bluebird." He ran a hand over his hair, petting him. He kissed his cheek, he didn't care who was watching.

"I'm glad it went well. It went better than I thought it would actually." He smiled. "I'm so happy I didn't disappoint you." He whispered and nuzzled his neck. "You mean so much to me Stuart. I love you."

After a moment, he pulled away slightly and swept some of Stuart's hair out of his face. "Want to go on some more rides?" He smiled.

Stuart blushed hard hearing his words and was quick to wipe his tears from happiness. "No, you didn’t disappoint me at all, you surprised me.... I want.... I want the Ferris Wheel" he told him with a smile. "would you mind, Muds? I swear you'd like the vision from up there...." his eyes shone with expectative.

"And... he looked down. Would you really want to have breakfast at my parent's home tomorrow? Or dinner today?" he looked at him "you did pretty much already, love, if you want me to go alone that's okay...." he wanted to see his mother too at least they wouldn’t try to make him and Murdoc break up.

He looked at the food on the table and decided to go back eating to show Murdoc he was okay.

Murdoc was happy to see the kid eating again. He actually did too, smiling and nodding. He took it easy since his jaw and cheek hurt from the punch. "Ferris wheel it is, my little blueberry." He felt on top of the world at the moment. His singer was happy, that's all that mattered to him.

Murdoc shook his head. "No, we go together. Let's see how things go. I think I would prefer breakfast." He said. He had plans tonight with Stuart, he wanted to make it special for him and getting interrupted by his parents. Plus, if he can put off being surrounded by Pot's then he would.

While eating, Cortez came down and sat on the table with them. He cawed and Murdoc gave him a fry. He kept sneaking glances at Stu, his heart beating faster each time he smiled, he loved when he smiled. That gap in his teeth showing, his black eyes lighting up. He could stare at him all day.

When they were done, he grabbed his hand and walked with him to the Ferris Wheel. They got in line and he gave his hand a kiss. "Let me win you some prizes later yeah?" He smiled.

Stuart liked the idea. Breakfast sounded good for him as he thought that night would end happily for both of them...  as the previous one they fought. He even ate everything.

At the queue, he loved seeing how big it was. " My parents like to cook a lot for breakfast Muds.... so we better be there early to eat.... and for me to show you where I lived my childhood...." he smiled to him hoping his parents live in the same place as before. "Hope my mother have the same thought as my father...." he fidget with his fingers anxiously.

His eyes shone again "Prizes for me? God Muds I'd love too...." he smiled brightly again. "I'll try to win some for you too...." he winked to him grabbing his arm happy as a teenage girl in love. He kissed his cheek thanking him again.

Murdoc chuckled, "Good, we'll have a big appetite after tonight." He winked at Stu. But he was excited to see Stu's childhood home. He was never welcome inside it before. He just hoped there wouldn't be any more issues with his parents.... Stu wanted it and quite honest, it's not like he could bring Stuart to his childhood home. The place was probably condemned and his father was already dead.

He liked how happy Stu was now. He put his hand over Stu's and smiled at him. When it was finally their turn, he sat down next to Stuart and held his hand as the Ferris Wheel started moving. He got a little nervous while it got higher up. He squeezed and held Stuart's arm a little tighter. But Stu seemed happy so he tried to hide his nervousness. He scooted closer to him.

Stuart found really cute how Murdoc was tense.... "Muds are you scared of heights?" He asked softly scooting next to him.

Once they were on the top, it stopped. It was normal to enter more people inside. It was beautiful to see the city from up there. "Look Muds.... My house is that way...." he pointed to somewhere in the horizon "my vision isn't good but if it was I could tell you even which house was it...." he chuckled caressing his hand

"Can’t believe I'm bringing my boyfriend to meet my parents tomorrow! This must be a dream" He said excitedly. Stuart never thought he would be able to do something like that, he was too clumsy, with Murdoc or with no one. He was afraid that his parents could ask about grandchildren.... or any other embarrassing questions.... but not focus on that now.

Soon he looked to Murdoc and placed a hand on his sore face "thank you for making me the happiest lad on earth Muds.... I won't forget this day.... ever" even if his brain was damaged he wouldn't. He began looking down to see if Cortez was anywhere around.

 "Y'know what Muds....? When I worked here I went once up here to take photos...." he looked at him "I imagined you with me, throwing stuff on the people Down there, laughing, talking or.... making out...." he whispered the last part blushing.

The park was a romantic place for a couple in Stuart's head. He used to see many coupled going around.... and he thought how nice would be to have his best mate around.

Murdoc nervously held onto Stuart, listening to him talk. When they stopped at the top and the seat they were in rocked slightly he wrapped his arm around Stuart and held on tightly. He realized he may be a little scare of heights.... or maybe it was the shoddy contraption they were on he didn't trust.

He followed Stuart's finger and saw him pointing in the direction of the house. It was the late afternoon and he could still see pretty well. He bit his lip holding onto Stu as he rocked the chair they were in a bit as he talked excitedly. Murdoc smiled when he called him his boyfriend. He said it so happy and proudly. It made him feel a love he'd never felt before, nor one he ever thought he'd get a chance to experience.

When Stuart turned towards him and put his hand on his face he flinched from the slight pain but he smiled at his soft touch. He listened to Stuart discuss how he'd been here before and imagined being with Murdoc. His singer was incredibly sweet and adorable. The fact that he thought about Murdoc so much before it made him wish he could go back in time and give him what he wanted. He wanted to give him everything and anything he asked for.

He pulled Stuart close, but didn't kiss him just yet. He put his lips just barely against Stuart's and said, "I love you Stuart." He then went in and gave him a gentle kiss that slowly got deeper and more passionate. He ignored the pain in his face he continued, his hands moving up to Stuart's face to hold him closer. His tongue eventually slipped into Stuart's mouth, but it remained gentle. He didn't try to ram it down Stuart's throat, but instead played with his tongue in a fun manner. He enjoyed the moment.... tasting, feeling, listening to everything about Stuart. He took it all in, he loved every bit of it.

Stuart sighed deeply in love and didn't overreact to his kiss.... it was gentle and meaningful. He stopped touching his sore face and didn't deepened the kiss not to hurt him.

He couldn't help talk too much when he was happy. He was glad Murdoc didn’t mind at all.... he had never seen the Satanist so happy ‘cuz of him.... His hands rested on his waist pulling him closer. His words made him shiver and his heart beat even faster.

He gently broke the kiss red in the face and panting softly. "Would it be strange if I asked you to pinch me to see if I'm dreaming?" He chuckled and rested his face on his shoulder closing his eyes and thanking Buddha for that sweet moment.

After some moments he gave him back his cross and kissed his forehead. "I love you too Mu’doc more than you'll ever know......" he whispered and held his hand.

Murdoc smiled and they sat there holding hands in silence. They watched the world go by as the Ferris Wheel turned slowly, enjoying the moment. When it was their turn to get off, Murdoc held on to Stuart's hand and walked with him to some of the nearby games. He chose one where he had to throw a ball at some pins.

When the guy gave Murdoc the balls to throw, he looked at Stu and gave him a playful wink. Then he through the ball and only knocked down one of the three. He pursed his lips and grabbed the second ball. He threw it and missed the pins entirely. He then grabbed the third, determined, and threw it. He hit one more but left one standing. He got a small little plush duck as a prize.

He turned to Stu and smiled in an apologetic manner. "Hehe guess I'm a little rusty." He handed Stuart the duck, a little embarrassed. He wanted to get Stuart something better.

Stuart was focused in winning something. "I wanna try, Muds...." he said seriously and went to the same game as the Satanist did.

He grabbed his balls and looked to the pins in front of him. He was really clumsy and his arm looked thinner than a baseball bat. But he was focused. The first shoot he missed all of them. The second was the same. But the third he managed to knock all of them down. Lucky? He raised his arms in a playfully way really happy.

He looked for the prizes and there was a big teddy bear he loved ... it size reached his waist.

"Look Murdoc I'm gonna call him Paul......" he came carrying the huge thing almost falling flat on his face. "Did you like it?" He smiled holding him and the duck. "By the way thank you for the duck... I'll name it Johnnie...." he said kissing his cheek fondly and giving names as the stupid passionate lad he was.

Murdoc's mouth fell open as 2D managed to knock down all three pins. How the hell did that happen?! Murdoc pursed his lips and crossed his arms, perplexed. He couldn't believe the kid did it.

When the singer came walking back with the giant stuffed animal, he couldn't help but smile. Then Stu kissed his cheek and he laughed. "

"I like the names Stuart, random but good. Love, that things gonna cause you to fall face first into the ground. Are you okay carrying it? And you're welcome, sorry it's uh...." he looks from the duck to the bear, "not bigger." He frowned. He offered to carry the bear, but the damn thing was practically as tall as him, if Stuart had problems then he sure would.

"So what do you wanna do now? More rides? Take those stuffed animals to the Winnie and come back? Continue with them?" He gave Stu a smile.

Stuart managed to put the giant thing on his back to be easier.... "You can carry johnnie, love.... well I don't think so Muds...  is there anything left we didn't do? Unless you wanna try again winning another prize..." He teased seeing the sun was about to set. "We can bring them back to the Winnie" he told him with a large smile.

The singer was truly satisfied by now.

Murdoc grabbed the duck for Stuart and started walking back to the gates with him. He pursed his lips at Stuart's quip, "Watch it, my love or I'll smack that sore ass of yours." He smirked. He was happy Stuart was satisfied with the day, it could have been only better without the punch but whatever. It was bound to happen. He would have preferred one from Mr. Pot over Russel, so he was fine with it.

As they walked back, he kept glancing at Stuart. He wanted to make sure he was doing everything Stuart wanted. He still didn't know if he was doing everything right. He was still learning to be a decent boyfriend.... he was anxious and nervous about being the best one for Stuart.

"Did you want me to take you out? There's a downtown nearby with pubs and shops, I can buy you a drink.... o-or something else, yeah? Whatever you wanted? Or not. Whatever you wanted, I'm yours Stuart!" He gave Stuart a big smile.

Murdoc was really doing everything right. Actually he was his first boyfriend so.... he didn't have any model in mind now.... he chuckled seeing his despair.

"Muds I'm fine.... I had the best day I could have asked for...." he stopped and looked at him "I appreciate all your efforts honey.... but now we can do whatever you want.... I'm not into this alone...  And your happiness matter for me too...." he told him softly.

Even seeing Murdoc smiling more made him happier. Soon they arrived back into the Winnie. "I'm yours too...." he whispered to him. "Hope you had fun today with my idea...." he smiled to him shyly and kissed his cheek. Normally Murdoc didn't like his ideas.... so it was a good notice he liked it now.

He looked around looking for Cortez.

Murdoc smiled, seeing the boy look for the bird. He loved that Stu liked Cortez and it seemed as if the bird liked him too. He gave a sharp whistle and the bird flew in through the window from the sitting on the roof. He gave a loud caw and landed on the chair, looking around and ruffling it's feathers.

He looked at Stu, "I had fun today Stuart. I don't think I've ever had that much fun in my life, and that's including the punch." He laughed. "I'm glad I didn't disappoint you my little blueberry. I told you I'd try. I love you, Stu."

He noticed Stu's interest in the bird, while he was talking. He decided to tease the boy. He crossed his arms and pretended to pout. "I'm starting to think you may like Cortez more than your boyfriend. I'm a little jealous." He joked. The bird just turned and cawed at him. He laughed and flipped him off. The bird only did a quick chortle as if it was laughing.

He wasn't used to all this spoiling but he could live with it. So he blushed pretty often when Murdoc told him the sweetest things he ever heard about himself. It seemed that once Murdoc began telling him he love him he wasn't able to stop.

"Who would tell that trying could be that fun....?" He chuckled blushing hard. Even if everything had gone wrong he would actually have enjoyed the most, ‘cuz it was with Murdoc and was all that happened.

Stuart could stop but think about how he could return all he did to Murdoc.... he would eventually dedicate a day for whatever Murdoc wanted to do.... Even if it was sex whole day non stop.

Stuart laughed at him back.... "Jealous?" He leaned closer him and kissed his pout lovingly. "You're the first and I want to be my only one.... Muds...." he told him honestly. "I just like your tiny friend...." he scratched his neck fondly. He loved the way he said he was his boyfriend. "Hey love can you tell me again I'm your boyfriend....?" He asked shyly looking down and wrapping his arms around him. He let the teddy on the floor for a moment.

He never saw Murdoc that comfortable and vulnerable with himself. It was really touching.

Murdoc blushed profusely when Stuart wrapped his arms around him. He hadn't realized he'd said boyfriend, it'd just come out naturally. He's happy it did though, hopefully it meant he was getting more comfortable with the idea of it. He smirked up at Stu.

"You're my boyfriend.... and I'm your boyfriend." He kissed him deeply and passionately. He then went on his tippy toes and whispered into Stuart's ear. "Remember this morning how I said you were going to take me back to the Winnie and fuck my brains out? Well that never did happen you know...." he licked Stuart's ear and then kissed his jaw. He pushed his hips into Stuart, hoping the kid was finally in the mood cause he'd been thinking about it since he teased him earlier. If he wasn't he'd deal with it, since he was willing to do anything for Stuart.


	20. Dinner

Stuart just smirked to him. Even tired he was definitely in the mood now. Soon he decided to shove him inside the Winnie together with his teddy and duck. He carefully placed them on the table and pressed Murdoc against the wall of the Winnie. Carefully he closed the door of the Winnie before Cortez entered in it.... they needed a bit of privacy.

 He began roughly making out with him, pinning his hands against the wall.

"You're mine...." he whispered into his ear and licked his earlobe, allowing himself to be a bit more possessive. He knew he couldn't mark Murdoc but he would tease him.

He began kissing his neck sweetly and slipped his fingers under his shirt "Muds I want to fuck you so bad...." he confessed between gasps staring into his eyes. "I want to hear you scream my name love.... And how you love to be mine...." he whispered into his ear, pressing his hips against his. "Can I....?" He teased kissing under his ear.

Murdoc was a little surprised by the sudden aggressiveness and possessiveness  Stuart suddenly showed him. He liked when the singer pinned him to the wall, he gave a seductive growl.

When the singer pressed his hips into him, he gave a slight moan. "Please do, love. I'll scream out whatever you want me to, cause I'm yours and only yours." He whispered back.   He tried moving his hands, wanting to grab onto Stuart, smiling at the grip he had on him. He then wrapped a leg around Stu, pulling him closer with a smirk. "Take me...." he whispered.

Murdoc saying please was something really interesting for Stuart. He discovered he loved that.

Soon he lifted his body wrapping his legs around his waist and guided him to the bed throwing him on it. He lifted his shirt and began laughing when He saw the band-aids.... "love am I going to fuck you like this. ...?" He said while taking off his own shirt and going to his backpack to grab the lube he brought. Soon he was by his waist line smiling from ear to ear.

Murdoc laughed and held onto Stu when he picked him up. He wasn't sure how the skinny kid was about to pick him up but it was fun. When he was thrown on the bed and remembered the band-aids, he laughed again. He threw his shirt off and grabbed the band aids. They came off a little easier since getting wet earlier.

When Stu showed back up at his waist, he gave the kid a smirk. He was excited. He could feel his jeans getting tighter. This was what he was good at, this was what he knew, and this was what he was more comfortable with.

Stuart knew how Murdoc liked sex .... And he wasn't that good in it.... but now was his turn to please him. Soon he was unbuckling his jeans and releasing his cock while throwing his pants away.... before starting sucking him he lubbed his fingers with a good amount of it. 

More skillful than usual he was, Stuart began a sloppy blowjob wet and slow as he really wanted to thank Murdoc for the day in a way he was familiarized with. Before Murdoc could notice he inserted a finger into the Satanist.

Murdoc wasn't prepared for him suddenly throwing his jeans off and sucking him off. He grabbed 2D's hair and started petting him, trying to keep still. He was letting out small moans and curses as Stu was surprisingly good at this. He didn't know if it was because of the gaps in his teeth or he was just born for it, but he was good.

When he finally noticed the finger in him, he groaned and arched his back a bit. The kid was going faster than he expected, but he didn't mind too much. "Ah, Stu. F-fuck." He bit his lip. He brushed the kids hair out of his face so he could see his eyes.

"I'm yours Stu." He said between moans.

Stuart smiled again from ear to ear.... he wanted to go faster to hit his sweet spot soon.... "when you want me to fuck you, please tell me it love...." he whispered teasingly while opening his own trousers and releasing himself with a low moan.

He pressed 2 fingers inside the bassist and began scissoring him. Doing that he tried to be a bit bolder and put him whole into his mouth. It was difficult as was his first time and some tears appeared on the corner of his eyes. He gaged a bit till he eventually made it. He was looking into his eyes but his black orbs made it difficult for Murdoc to know that.

He wanted to prove Murdoc was totally his by trying new things. And Stuart knew he was doing that right when he felt his pubes tickling his nose.

Murdoc bit his lip and looked at him hungrily when he took him in whole. He moaned when he felt Stuart add another finger. This was all so overwhelming and amazing, Murdoc wasn't sure what to focus on. He looked down at Stuart straight in the eye and saw a few tears fall from his eyes as he took him in. He put his hand on the side of his face, caressing him and wiping the the tears away with his thumb.

"Holy shit Stu, you're amazing. Don't overdo it my love." He smirked. Stu looked beautiful taking him in, he was impressed. His heart was racing he was panting slightly between a few moans, trying to contain himself.

"You can take me whenever you're ready Stuart. I'm yours." He panted. One hand went to pet and grip his hair.

Stuart let go of him when Murdoc told him he was amazing. Was really a hard job he smiled and wiped his mouth and eyes with his free hand with a sly smirk.

Soon he stood up. He knew he couldn't be as sexy as he wanted but he tried to strip the rest of his clothes.

Soon he came over Murdoc and began kissing him again... pressing 3 fingers inside this time going in and out to tease the Satanist.

"You're so fucking beautiful Muds...." he told him whispering into his ear and nibbling it once again. His free hand tangled his hair caressing it "I'm so in love with you...." he kissed his neck sweetly hearing him moan "beg me to fuck you love.... tell me how much you want it Mu’doc..." he whispered again fingering him a bit faster.

Murdoc closed his eyes and moaned when he felt the three fingers in him. He wrapped his arms around Stuart, smiling. No one's ever talked so sweetly to him, he was getting used to it. He looked straight into his singer’s eyes and smirked.

"I want you to fuck me till I can't walk. I want you in me more than anything in this world. I want to feel you inside me.... please Stu. I'm yours, always will be." He begged between moans, moving his hips slightly as he tried to push Stu's fingers deeper into him.

"Please Stuart." He pleaded with a whimper.

Stuart was quick to make his please come true, hearing his sweet pleases.... "As you wish, my love"

He purred into his ear guiding him to be with his back against the wall that was behind the bed while pressing himself inside him after lubbing his member. He moaned lowly digging his short nails in his shoulders. "Fuck Muds.... You're tight......" he complimented him honestly.... hiding his face on his shoulder clenching his teeth not to bite him.

How he wanted the Satanist so bad right now.

When Stuart pushed into him, he let out a bit of a paid moan and a few curses. He gripped onto Stuart's arm, then wrapped his arms around him when he got closer. His hands made their way to his hair and he ran his hands through it. He smiled and kissed Stuart's head.

"Not many guys get to experience Murdoc Niccals like this. Believe me, you're one of the few my little Bluebird. I should be nice and tight, just for you." He laughed between moans. It was true, he'd maybe been with two other guys as a bottom, wasn't usually a fan of it. He loved doing this with Stuart though, the kid was gentle and surprisingly bigger than he had expected.

The kid kept hitting him in the right spot. Every time it sent a blast of pleasure through him, he'd moan out. He generally moaned out with Stuart's name. He knew he was getting loud, but he didn't care. He looked straight into Stuart's eyes lovingly and moaned his name, while petting his hair gently.

Stuart relaxed at that.... once fully inside Murdoc he smiled to him "lucky me...." and began thrusting him in a steady nice pace . Soon he was fucking him properly... as he had asked. "Scream for me babe.... say my name... ". He didn't mind if Murdoc was being loud.... he wanted him bad.

Stuart was trying his best to make him feel satisfied into something he knew the Satanist loved the most.... "I want to be your only one from now on, love.... only yours" he whispered while slamming into him mercilessly, cursing under his breath and grabbing Murdoc tightly to keep both bodies close. God how he loved him.... his moans his body his voice....

Stuart noticed he was close after a while and moaned a bit louder "Muds.... I can't...."

Stuart was driving him wild, and when he asked Murdoc to scream his name, he did obediently. He yelled his name as loud as he could, not caring how odd it may have sounded. He held him close to him.

He could tell Stuart was close, as was he. He could feel him going harder and getting louder. He encouraged him a bit between moans, "Yes, Stuart! You're mine, Bluebird, only mine, forever. Now make me yours." He smirked.

Stuart obediently did what he asked pressing him against the wall and kissing him with all desire he had at that moment. He came in the same moment shaking and gasping, saying his name choked between kisses.

He hugged him close while his orgasm hit him hard. His eyes rolled into his head and he moaned relaxing on Murdoc's body.

"God Mu’doc......" he panted "I'm fucking crazy about you......" he chuckled and rested his face on his chest.

Murdoc came the same time Stuart did, breathing hard and moaning between kisses. He held onto him tightly, never wanting to let go, as the waves of pleasure rolled through him.

When they finally settled down, Stuart resting on his chest, he relaxed and pet his hair lovingly. He hoped Stuart could hear his fast-paced heartbeat. Hear how crazy he was for him. He looked down at Stuart and played with a single lock of blue hair, his favorite colored hair. Stuart looked so peaceful.

"Satan.... I'm dreaming right? Or are we still in your dream?" He teased. "I never thought I'd ever be in a moment like this. Ever. And with you no less. You've seriously tamed me." He chuckled and continued playing with his hair. "And I couldn't be happier." He whispered.

Stuart for sure could hear his heartbeat.... crazy and steady at the same time. Only for him. He smiled hearing that.

"I dunno Muds.... maybe it's our dream this time...." he chuckled. He leaned into his touch on his hair. "Me either.... and .... Good or bad moments... I wanna share all of them with you, love..." he whispered looking for his hand to hold. He was still into the Satanist. He grabbed it and kissed his fingers than looked at him. His eyes shone with tears and he had the dumbest smile on his face. "Hope I did the way you like...."

Murdoc laughed, "I'm definitely not picky when it comes to sex, love." He held onto the singer’s hand. The other hand went to his face and caressed it. Fuck, he really was tamed. He used to just shag and tell girls to leave, without any sweet touches or anything. Now he wanted nothing more than to hold onto Stuart and never let him go.

"You're my singer, you're my love." He whispered and brushed some hair from his face. "Don't ever leave me, love...." he smiled at Stuart and just looked at his face. His beautiful black eyes, his thin lips, his little nose. He loved them all and wanted to kiss every part of him.

Stuart stopped for a second to look at him. Now his heart was racing. His mouth hanged open and he was mesmerized by his touch and his eyes. "Muds I...." he leaned closer him rubbing his nose against his "Never. I owe you my soul right?" He chuckled. He pressed his forehead against his "you're the love of my life, Mu’doc Niccals...." He whispered and closed his eyes pulling outta him and hugging him tight hiding his face on the crook of his neck. It was overwhelming a bit hearing Murdoc tell him those words in such a sweet manner.

Murdoc laughed, "You do owe me your soul. You're stuck with me forever." He held him close as Stuart nuzzled into his neck. He pet his hair, then started rubbing his back.

"Christ, I love you." He whispered. He moved his hand down to rub Stuart's back. He wasn't sure how he got to this point but he couldn't imagine being happier. He nuzzled his nose into Stuart's hair.

"So we're going to see your parent's tomorrow eh?" He asked. "At least we just worked up an appetite." He chuckled. He was slightly nervous, but he knew he could do it as long as Stuart was there.

Stuart chuckled "yes we are.... I think I'll bring flowers to my mother.... There's a flower shop near where they live...." he told him with a smile, actually he knew the girl who worked there.

“But I want to show you another place before we go home okay?" he pulled away a bit from him so he could look into his eyes. "It's a place I found while we were apart and I thought it would be nice to show you...." he placed a hand caressing carefully the sore side of his face planting a kiss there.

"There is beautiful at night.... We can find somewhere to eat and I guide you there...." he suggested with a large smile. "What do you think, Muds.? It's a surprise what happens there...." it sounded like another date but oh well.... the singer didn’t forget Murdoc for a moment while they were apart.

Murdoc smiled at the kiss, "It's a date, Stu. I trust you." He looked at Stuart. "And I think it's a lovely idea to bring your mothers flowers. Should I bring something?" He thought about it. He remembered Stuart's mom, she had actually been kind of nice to him. He had been surprised to say the least, considering his father wanted to murder him, and rightfully so.

"But, yes, I'll go wherever you want to love." He brushed Stuart's hair back. "You have a great taste in places to go for dates." He hoped he could prove to be good at choosing places to go on dates soon. He'd never had to before, usually picking up some tramp from the bar and taking them to his Winnie. He had a lot to learn, but he was willing to learn now.

"Bring your smile, and hunger.... she will definitely make food for us even bring home...." he chuckled remembering how her food was tasty. He wanted to be more gentle with his mother as he wasn’t with his father. If it wasn’t his invitation he wouldn’t go there.

He blushed "I-It's not a big deal Muds.... but I really hope you like...." he told him with his brightest smile. "But first we need a shower right?" he said standing up. "I brought you a coat, might need....will be cold tonight." he warned.

"I know a restaurant here too that serves Spanish food... Tapas, y’know? If you liked food in Mexico will like their menu...." He offered excited going to grab his stuffed animals "Muds can I sleep with you and them? Or will you be jealous?" he asked giggling softly placing them on the bed.

Murdoc beamed, "Good thing I have you helping me out, I wouldn't have thought to bring my coat. But yes, a shower first!" He stood up and stretched a bit, watching a naked Stuart, enjoying himself.

He nodded to Stuart's suggestions, "I'm sure I'll love it, I'm starving." He said, moving towards the shower to get it started. When Stuart asked about the animals, he looked back and scoffed in a playful manner, "As long as that bear keeps his paws to himself, otherwise I'm going to tear his stuffing out." He winked at Stuart with a smile and turned back towards the shower.

He started it and got in, washing the smell of sex and the carnival off him. He beamed, excited to be going out again with Stuart. He thought about how this morning started out in one of the worst ways possible, now it's turning into one of the best.

Stuart laid down on the bed a moment alone waiting for him. He allowed himself to give some low teenage-in-love squeals while hugging his new friends and pressing a pillow against his red face.... "Look Paul.... tomorrow I'll make one of my dreams come true...." He told the bear about the breakfast

After he began texting Noodle and Russel to tell them they were doing good, that it was an amazing day and that they should be home the next day by afternoon....

He stood up and took some of his pills, the rides made his head a bit messy. Hhe looked through the window and Cortez was stealing things from people, mostly to eat.... He should be hungry. But the singer didn’t open the window as he was naked and didn’t want Cortez seeing his knob...

he kindly brought Murdoc clean clothes and a tower placing them on the toilet.

Meanwhile, Noodle and Russel had spent the entire day eating junk food and playing video games or watching movies. They were having a blast and hardly even noticed the other two were gone. Noodle noticed the text from Stuart, smiling. She told Russel about it and they continued with their day. She was happy to know the other two were doing well. She was happy to see her band mates all doing well, it'd help them make better music and be more in sync with each other.

Back with Murdoc, he finished washing up and turned the shower off. When he stepped out, he noticed the towel and clothes. He laughed and felt his heart beating a little faster. Satan he was soft now, but he loved it. He loved to have someone care about him, he liked caring about someone. He wore a grin from ear to ear, as he got dressed.

He walked out and sort of presented himself to Stuart, "How do I look?" He laughed. He knew he didn't look much different than normal, but since Stuart picked out his clothes, he thought he'd play a bit.

He scoffed playfully when he saw Stuart still naked. "Why are you still naked love?" He smiled and looked Stuart over. He was starting to heal a little better from all the bites around his neck. He walked over and leaned down to give him a kiss, then he walked over to the door.

"Get dressed, I'll be outside, ready when you are." He winked and grabbed his coat. He walked out and put it on, then he lit a cigarette. He watched Cortez fly around stealing things. He noticed the bird would fly to the top of the Winnebago when he stole something. He must be stashing it all up there. He smirked, and made a note to grab all that stuff before driving away so it didn't all fall off.

"You look stunning...." he joked back kissing him and standing up.... "I'm still naked ‘cuz I'll take a shower now too..." he told him poking his forehead.... "I promise I'll be fast...." he entered his bathroom and began showering while he watched Murdoc going outta the Winnie.

In no time, he was ready and dressed. He opened the door "how do I look?" He asked with a smile. "Oh 'Ello Cortez... Having fun? Bet you stole everyone from the fair today." He joked and the bird cawed back.

"Ready, my love? I'll drive us there...." he told him with a sweet smile. Now was his turn for a date.

Murdoc smirked, "You look magnificent. Yeah, let me just grab all of Cortez's stolen shit off the Winnie." He laughed, hopping up onto a small ladder. He climbed to the top and found the small.... well... big stash actually. There was a small fortune up there, which surprised Murdoc slightly. He looked at the stash of coins, rings, necklaces, and other odds and ends pieces. He pocketed a few of the rings, necklaces and other jewelry he liked and grabbed the rest to bring down. When he got down he stashed it inside the Winnie.

"Okay! I'm ready my love." He smiled to Stuart. Cortez landed on top of the Winnie and noticed the missing stash. He cawed angrily at Murdoc. He turned and laughed at the bird.

"Sorry Cortez, I still have it. Don't worry we still have it."

Stuart laughed at him back.... it really seemed like a small treasure. "C'mon Cortez, inside unless you want to fly there...." he tiny creature cawed angrily once inside the Winnie

"Give something to entertain him, Muds.... we're near the place...." he said sitting on the driver's seat and scratching his neck now that he was on the panel "There will be much more stuff for you steal where we're going......" he turned on the engine.

Before he left he grabbed Murdoc by his collar kissing him. Cortez tilted his head staring them. Stuart laughed at the crow's confusion starting to drive.

Murdoc's eyes widened in surprise and a smile hit his face as Stuart pulled him in for a kiss. The kid was getting bolder and it shocked him every time, but he loved it.

When Stu started the Winnie, he had Cortez sit on his arm. The coat provided enough protection from his claws. The bird seemed to be pouting by not looking at him. Murdoc just laughed and dug a coin out of his pocket.

"Here, you bloody baby." He handed the coin to the bird and he gladly took it in his beak. He used one of his feet to hold it while he nibbled on the edge of the coin. He looked up at Stuart and watched the kid drive. He took a moment to admire him without the singer noticing.

Stuart was focused, had been a while but he remembered for sure where the restaurant was, after some wrong turns they were there. Next morning they would need to stop for gas before going home. He noticed how Murdoc was looking at him all the way there but he didn’t bother to ask.

Soon he parked and looked at Murdoc. This time he grabbed his cross taking it from him and placing it around his neck kissing his lips "let's go, handsome....? I'm starving...." he joked walking to the door.

Cortez cawed and once he opened the door the crow went away to the night. There were many lights around there... whole city was pretty lighted.... and all those shiny points reflected on Stuart's black sclera. He leaned him a hand, smiling.

Murdoc snorted at the boy calling him handsome. He stood up and followed him outside. The city lights were gorgeous, all the lights sparkling in the window reflections. He was pleasantly surprised.

He looked at Stuart and noticed the lights reflecting in his black eyes. It looks gorgeous honestly, leaving him speechless. He grabbed Stuart's hand, giving him a sweet smile.

"Alright, come on." He said, walking with Stu into the restaurant. Thankfully, they were able to get a booth pretty quickly. The booth had a mood lighting for this time of the evening, casting a warm, soft light over him and Stuart. He looked around and saw tons of other couples, but also a few families here.

He gulped. He felt slightly out of his element again, and wanted nothing more than a drink, but refrained. He knew how he was drunk, and he wouldn't be ruining this for Stuart.

Stuart smiled looking at him. "Muds I'm paying today.... so you may order anything you want...." he told him with a soft smile. He wouldn’t bother if he drank.... even if the singer didn’t want him drunk.... he tried to be the most romantic lad he could to show how thankful he was for the day. But he knew how Murdoc was in crowded placed and he looked nervous already.

Soon the waiter came and gave them the menus saying that tonight's dish was "Tapas a la moda del jefe" that Stuart didn’t understand much but name of the place was Flamenco Tapas so he thought it was their specialty....

He asked if the dish was for two people or one.... he said two. "Muds wanna share with me or want another thing...?" he asked softly.

"I want wine...." he told the waiter "and you, love?" he said to Murdoc and the waited frowned to the nickname.

He thought wine was a good request, it was romantic and not that alcoholic even if he drank the whole bottle.

Murdoc nodded and looked at Stuart, "Sharing is fine and wine sounds great." He noticed the waiters frown, to which he frowned himself and threw the waiter a warning glance. He hadn't really paid attention to what Stu had ordered, but he was sure he'd like it. He loved most foods, especially spicy ones, so he wasn't worried.

When the waiter left, he gave Stu a soft smile, "Thanks for the wine.... but are you sure you want to get that? Do you like wine?" He gave a soft chuckle. He was still slightly nervous he was going to screw something up and make an ass of himself, but he felt good with Stuart. He reached across and grabbed Stuart's hand. They were pretty secluded in their booth, so he didn't mind the openness.

Stuart didn’t like wine at all.... but it was the idea he had to prevent Murdoc from getting drunk without pissing him off. "Well.... it said here it was sweet and not dry so I think that's okay......" he told him with a smile.

He blushed when he grabbed his hand playing with his fingers.... "oh you have tiny hands...." he joked a bit a light smile on his face.

Soon he looked down thinking what the hell were tapas and if they were spicy. maybe Cortez liked spicy food as he was Mexican....

Murdoc smiled, he knew Stuart wasn't a vig wine drinker, so he knew he ordered some for him. He figured he was probably easier to read than he thought, but he appreciated that Stu noticed.

He playfully and dramatically scoffed in offense from Stuart's hand comment. "Uh, excuse me, maybe you are the one with giant hands, yeah? Not all of us are 30 feet tall." He laughed.

The waiter brought them two glasses for the wine, opening the bottle at the table. He then poured it into their glasses slowly. Murdoc kept his eye on the waiter, waiting to see if he'd do or say anything when he saw the two holding hands.

The waiter just scoffed when leaving. He was annoyed by their appearance and the fact they were a couple. Stuart bit his lip thinking that maybe he chose a bad place for dining and he didn’t want Murdoc pissed that night.

Soon he decided to use the bathroom for a moment. He was feeling a bit nervous and didn’t want that Murdoc noticed. He took a bigger sip than he would usually take from his wine and said "Excuse-me love...." in a low tone kissing the top of his head.

Murdoc frowned as he watched Stuart leave for the bathroom. He knew the waiter made him nervous and he decided to do something about it. He took a large gulp of his wine and got up, walking over to the waiter.

"What's your problem, buddy." He growled and got close to the waiter.

"Nothing.... sir." The waiter said.

"Well I don't think that's very true." Murdoc said coldly. "Listen here," he grabbed the waiters tie and brought the tall guys, face closer to his. "That guy means a lot to me, and we're trying to have a nice night. If it get's ruined by you, believe me, we will be having another little chat." He growled. The guy just furrowed his brows, unimpressed.

"Do you know who I am? I'm Murdoc fucking Niccals from Gorillaz. I sold my soul years ago to Beelzebub, himself." He stated in a low voice. "I know where I'm going when I die and, so help me Satan, I'll take you there with me tonight if need be. Understand?" He was whispering a growl at this point.

The guy looked worried and nodded slowly. Murdoc gave him a charming smile and let go of his tie. "Good.... glad we see eye to eye." He said, turning around and walking back to his table, glad to see Stuart wasn't back yet. He grabbed his glass of wine and downed it real quick. He snapped his fingers at the waiter, who quickly brought him more wine.

"Leave the bottle." He growled, to which the waiter did. He watched the man walk away quickly and laughed. He was glad his threat worked, but he wondered if he took it too far. He wasn't going to kill the guy, instead he was going to go to the guys manager if he needed.

Stuart went to the bathroom and washed his face. He looked at the mirror trying to find anything abnormal on his face. But he couldn’t look much or he would notice again the freak he was...

He sighed telling himself he wouldn’t bother anymore about that waiter and would finish the night just fine. He plastered a smile on his face and went back to the table.

Before reaching Murdoc he noticed he was with his back turned to him. He quickly stole a flower from another table and offered Murdoc.... "I dunno is its okay offering a flower to a man but.... " he smiled showing his gap teeth. “For you, Mu’doc."

From the distance the same waiter made a grimace to the scene. Stuart sat down again once Murdoc grabbed the flower and noticed by the smell Murdoc had and the new bottle that he should be drunk or close to that by now. He sighed internally but kept the smile on his face.

Murdoc gave him a big grin, only slightly buzzed at the moment. The wine wasn't near as strong as what he normally drank. He took the flower from Stuart's long, delicate fingers and kissed his hand gently.

"Thank you, love. I love anything you give me, fuck if anyone else thinks if it's okay or not." He chuckled and smelled the flower. He looked up into his face, admiring the cute gap in his teeth.

When Stuart sat down, he reached across the table and caressed his face gently. The buzz dulled his nerves slightly, he was feeling brave again.

"Your eyes look gorgeous in this light, Stu." He said, using his thumb to rub the singer’s cheek. "Don't worry about anyone else, love. It's just you and me tonight, that's all that matters. I love you, yeah?" He gave him a wink.

Stuart tried to smile to him back, shyly. He didn’t like when Murdoc drank but well, he's an alcoholic and he knew that. "Thank you Muds and.... you're right...." he said to him in a calm manner leaning into his touch. He would try to calm down and not ruin everything this time.... there wasn’t many people around so it was easier now.

He moved his head and kissed his thumb gently wondering where were their dishes.

Murdoc smiled and just watched Stuart lovingly. "I wouldn't let anyone hurt you...." he whispered, as he continued to caress his cheek.

Finally, the dishes came out, enough for probably three or four people to eat. Murdoc smiled, he was starving. He grabbed a few of what looked like garlic buttered prawns and then a few other things and put some on a plate for himself.

"Wow, this looks amazing." He smiled and tried a few things. "Make sure you eat love." He grabbed something on a kabob stick, looked like meat of some kind, and held it in front of Stu so he could take a bite.

"Want some of my meat?" He gave his nasally laugh with a giant smile.

At least Murdoc liked the food.... Maybe eating he was gonna be a little less drunk. He looked to the big amount of food in front of him and became nervous... if they were with Russel and Noodle they all would eat well.

He was about to put food from himself but Murdoc asked him, so he smiled trying the meat on his hand. He took a bite and his eyes watered. It was spicy as hell. "Fuck!"

Quickly, he grabbed the bottle of wine and began drinking in from the bottleneck directly as they didn’t have water. 

The waiter now thought they were completely crazy.

Murdoc pulled the meat kabob back and laughed as he watched Stuart. "It can't be that hot." He said as he took a bite. It was spicy but wasn't that bad. He shrugged and called over the waiter, who came over slowly.

"Can we get some water, please? Make it quick? My boyfriend," he emphasized the word, "needs some, now." He smirked at the waiter, daring him to say something or make a face. The waiter just clenched his teeth and nodded.

"Right away, sir." He said slightly cold, staring back at Murdoc before turning away to grab the water. He looked back at Stu and snorted.

"Water's on the way love." He took another bite of his kabob. "Try some of these." He handed him some battered squid rings, he had no idea what they were called here but they were delicious and not spicy at all.

Stuart felt terrible doing that.... thank god that waiter would come with water.... and the way he called him boyfriend was really pleasurable but he wasn’t in the mood to recognize that.

He stopped drinking the wine with wide eyes seeing how much he drank from it. he placed the bottle back on the table still feeling everything burning inside and tried to eat what Murdoc suggested that this time wasn’t that spicy.

so he began eating a lot of it that he didn’t know what was just to ease the pain from his burnt mouth, it was tasty.... "Thanks.... Muds...." he mumbled with his face red from embarrassment. At least he managed to make him laugh. When he stopped eating, he wiped his eyes.... "I'm sorry Muds...." now his head was buzzing from the wine too.

Murdoc just chuckled, "What are you sorry about?" The waiter came with a pitcher of water and some glasses for it. He set it down without a word and didn't even look at either of them. He then turned and walked away.

Murdoc grabbed one of the glasses and poured water into it, handing it to Stuart, before pouring his own. "Drink the water, love." He drank some of it himself.

He sat quietly, watching the singer eat, admiring him. He was sweet and it didn't surprise Murdoc the kid couldn't stand anything spicy, he was quite sheltered food wise, always eating a healthy dose of pills and sandwiches, pizza, or whatever junk food was handy.

"This food is quite delicious." He finally said, giving him a sweet smile. "I hope you liked some of it at least." He caressed the singer’s face again, noticing he was a little buzzed from the wine. Murdoc was only slightly buzzed now, barely enough to cut the nerves of being in a place like this.

Stuart smiled to him grabbing the water and drinking it.

"What I ate was delicious, Muds...." he looked at all the other food around "as you already eaten most of them would you mind telling which is spicy and which isn’t?" he smiled leaning into his touch "I'd like to continue eating...." he said softly with his face a little less red now and his mouth less hurting.

Due to alcohol too he wasn’t feeling much of that. he only hoped he could drive to his spot after all that.

Murdoc smirked and grabbed his plate. "With pleasure." He grabbed a bunch of items he didn't think would be too spicy for the kid. When he felt it was enough, he gave it back to Stuart and watched him as he ate, eating more of his own food.

Was the kid going to be okay driving? He wasn't sure how bad the wine was going to hit him. He filled up Stuart's cup of water when he needed more and took his wine away, he didn't drink it though.

After watching Stuart for a few minutes, he asked, "How are you feeling love? Doing okay now?"

Stuart began eating noticing how Murdoc seemed to enjoy him eating. He smiled to him swallowing "much better now Muds, thanks for the help.... " it was really delicious and it helped the wine effects lower a bit....

"I think I'll order a dessert...." he told him playfully "Mind sharing?" his mood was totally okay now after that embarrass.... he was happy there wasn’t people around.... even Cortez would laugh at him at that point. 

Noticing that glass of water he was quick to drink it, finishing to eat all that was in his plate like a good boy.

Murdoc smiled and played with a kabob stick on his plate, using it to pick his teeth at one point. "Sure, I'd love to." He called the waiter over, who motioned he'd be there in a moment. Murdoc turned to Stu, happy to see he'd eaten everything, maybe with Murdoc the kid would add a little meat to those bones.

"So, Stu, where we going after this? You got me curious now." He took another drink of water. It was dull, he didn't drink water often, but he needed to keep his head about him so he could be ready for Stuart's next destination tonight.

The waiter came over, before Stuart could answer. "We would like some desert. What would you like love?" He looked at Stuart.

"Is there anything with chocolate? I'd love to...." he said with a large smile. The man told him that they had "churros" that were served with chocolate and it was fine for the singer. And enough for two people. "Mind sharing Muds....?"

to his question he said "oh it's a surprise.... you can take a guess if you want..." he giggled finding lovely how he was curious. "It's romantic, I guess...."

"Sure, churros it is good sir." He said to the waiter, chewing on the kabob stick. The guy pursed his lips and walked off. Murdoc considered flicking the stick at him, but thought better of it. He turned his attention back to Stuart.

"Like I could guess, Stu." He laughed. "I don't know what's around this area at all." It was partially true, he also didn't know what the kid had in mind when it came to romantic, could be something completely different than what he'd think. He just smiled and decided to be surprised. Stuart had a plan, no sense in spoiling it.

The waiter brought the churros, while everything else got cleared up. Murdoc looked down at the food. He didn't always eat sweet things, he couldn't remember if he'd had churros before.

Stuart's eyes shone seeing chocolate. "God how I love sweets.... if I had you covered in chocolate i could eat you easily." he said not noticing the huge sexual connotation of his words.

"so just wait and see love, if you don’t like you can tell me...." he passed the churro in the chocolate and offered to feed him.... "Want, love...?" he told him with a large smile.

Murdoc lifted and eyebrow and gulped. Satan, did the kid have any idea what he was saying? Of course, Murdoc had to imagine it, himself covered in chocolate syrup and Stuart licking it off. He cleared his throat to get it out of his head and brought his attention back to Stuart.

"I'm sure I'll love it, I'm excited to go." He said with a smile. When the singer offered the churro he took a bite, and was actually surprised at how good it was. It wasn't too overly sweet, just enough to be delicious. He watched Stuart take a bit, noticing his face light up. Apparently he really did like it. He chuckled to himself, leaning over and wiping some chocolate off the singer’s face.

Stuart chuckled and passed his finger on the chocolate placing some on Murdoc's nose. "If this wasn’t your nose.... I would love to be licking it...." He said with a pink face, maybe the wine was making his tongue a little loosen.

When he wiped the chocolate, he licked his finger smiling to him.

He grabbed another churro and ate like nothing had happened. Besides needy and clingy alcohol made him a bit lewd.

Murdoc snorted, "Oh so if it was a different body part, then maybe you would lick it?" He was a little surprised at how the singer was acting, but he remembered that the singer got a little goofy when drinking.


	21. Hill

"Okay, come on. Let's go. I'll drive and you can point me in the right direction.... hopefully. Stay here, I'll be back." He smiled and stood. He was going to go pay since Stuart was buzzed and he didn't need that waiter ruining the kids good mood. He went to look for the waiter to pay.

When he found him, he paid and then walked back to Stuart. He held out his hand to help Stuart up. When they started walking out, he flipped the waiter off on the way out.

"No Muds I want to take you there...." he pouted to him. "I was just teasing you.... you know how I love chocolate and how I love you.... Why couldn’t I have both? Please can I drive?" he whimpered folding his arms while going to the Winnie....

Soon Cortez appeared cawing, he seemed happy to see both man. "C’mon I swear I won’t do anything wrong...." he scratched the bird's neck.

Murdoc sighed. He wondered how much he might regret what he does next. "Are you really okay to drive?" He wasn't sure what he was going to do anyways, he didn't have the keys anyways, Stuart did. He could wrestle the kid....

"I only want you driving if you're really okay, yeah? You had some wine and you're driving my Winnie. We don't want either of us going to jail tonight." Christ, that was all he needed when he called Stuart's parents to tell them why they couldn't make it to breakfast. He watched as the singer scratched the bird’s neck. He opened the door to the Winnie to get in, letting Stuart and the bird follow. When Stuart came in, he turned to him, waiting for an answer.

"Muds I swear I'm okay, you trust me?" he asked pleading, loving the way he was worried about him. He knew he was driving Murdoc's home and that he couldn’t kill them.

"Look I'm sorry I didn’t mean to drink that much.... " he was sad and sat looking down.

Stuart wasn’t that drunk, he was just trying to tease Murdoc and alcohol helped a bit. "But that's okay it’s your Winnie, if you don’t think I’m able that's okay." he said in a low tone.

Murdoc frowned, smiled and rolled his eyes. "No, it’s fine. As long as you're okay, Stu that's all I cared about." He walked over and lifted his chin to look at him. He leaned down and gave him a kiss.

"You don't have time to pout, you're supposed to be driving us somewhere, yeah?" He laughed, then kissed Stuart's forehead. He smiled, thinking it was funny that he was trying to be the voice of reason right now. He normally wouldn't give a shit if Stuart drove drunk, but he couldn't stand the thought of the kid getting arrested. He's too pretty for jail. He gave Stuart his hand and lifted him up and walked him to the driver’s seat.

"Come on captain!" He joked and sat in the passenger seat. Cortez cawed a few times from the back. "Hey! You keep quiet back there mister!" He yelled back to him.

Stuart acted that way ‘cuz he loved seeing Murdoc doing the right thing even if he wasn’t really drunk. he felt proud of the bassist. Each time he showed him how he was changing.

"Thanks for caring about me, guardian angel..." he told him honestly not mocking and kissing his forehead.

He sat down on the driver's seat and began driving. "Now close your eyes, sailor, it's a surprise...." he smiled to him while going to the road.

Murdoc smiled and closed his eyes. He wondered where Stuart was going to take him. It was fairly dark out, so it was a big mystery for him. He just sat, with his eyes closed. He started humming and singing their song 'Every Planet We Reach is Dead' for fun. He usually didn't sing but he was feeling like having some fun since he could do nothing else with his eyes closed.

"When we go down, for all the sacred selfless days. Only left with heartache, I want to see you again, I love you.... But what are we going to do?" He sang in his rough voice. He bobbed his head to the song and imagined everyone playing their parts. He could feel the bumps and turns Stu took, wondering how much longer it'd be.

Stuart chuckled, was Murdoc really singing? he was scared of going to jail some moments ago and now he was just .... Happy...." he took a quick glance at him falling in love a bit more. That would be something Stuart would do while waiting. ... He thought Murdoc wouldn’t even agree to close his eyes.

the singer didn’t dare to sing with him...... he wanted to hear his rough voice.... it made his heart beat faster and he placed a hand on his knee squeezing it. He loved this song too, especially the part Murdoc was singing.

Cortez cawed to his singing, maybe thinking it was ugly or untuned.... Stuart just laughed.

He drove along a long and straight road that seemed to be forever until they finally turned. Soon enough Stuart parked in a spot It was the perfect one if they wanted to stay there overnight. He got outta the vehicle and lead Murdoc out of it. "Don't open it yet...."

Murdoc smiled but kept humming when he felt Stuart squeeze his knee. Then he heard the bird caw and he laughed, keeping his eyes closed.

"Bloody bird thinks he could do better." He said, going back to humming again. He eventually moved on to his 'White Light' song, having fun saying it over and over again.

Finally, after what felt like forever, he could feel the Winnie stop, to which Stuart helped him up. He kept his eyes closed like the singer told him. Then the singer guided Murdoc out. He was a little nervous as to where the singer was bringing him.

"C-can I open them yet?" He whispered, holding onto his hand tightly.

He was so afraid that Murdoc wouldn’t like his idea but well they were already there. He bit his lip looking around. He parked under a tree the Winnie.

"Not yet". He guided the Satanist to the perfect place and sat him down and plopped beside him himself.

"Okay now you may open"

In front of them was the wide-open view of the stars above. The place was filled with fireflies and the moon was huge from there, bright and white. They were sitting on a small hill that was familiar to Stuart. The sweet scent of flowers filled the air and the grass was greener than Murdoc's skin. It was really calming and soothing. Next to them there was a lake.

 The sky was so unpolluted here. It was quite a beautiful place. 

From the distance he could see Cortez flying high and happily, maybe he liked the place. "We’re here."

When Stuart had Murdoc sit down, he felt.... grass? Where the bloody hell were they with grass? He tried listening and realized he heard no city life. He furrowed his brows, curious.

When Stuart told him to open his eyes, his breath was knocked out of him from the gorgeous view in front of him. They were in a grassy meadow area on a hill with nothing but the mood and the fireflies to light the area. There was even a lake nearby. He looked up and noticed millions of stars, his shoulders slumped down in a sort of calm surprise.

"Holy shit...." he whispered. He'd never seen anything so spectacular. He'd always been surrounded by city lights, he never realized just how large and open the night sky really was. He swallowed, coming back to his senses, starting to breathe a little more. He looked at Stuart, a grin on his face.

"This is beautiful!" He whispered, excitedly. "I can't even describe it.... thank you for showing me...." he said looking up again. He grabbed Stuart's hand and held onto it, giving it a small squeeze.

Stuart sighed relieved Murdoc liked the place and squeezed his hand back.

"I fond this place once I decided to drive around the town.... sad and drunk...." he began rambling about the place. "For some reason I didn’t commit an accident that day...." that’s why he knew he wasn’t too drunk to drive.

He looked up to the stars.... "When I came here I swore I saw a shooting star" he pointed to the sky "right there.... or was I right or I was drunk...." he chuckled. "And I wish for it that I could see the band again.... and work together in it again.... but especially I wanted to see you...." he looked at Murdoc "had already been a while since we lost contact and I was thinking that I wouldn’t see you anymore."  he looked down.

"Well what happened was far better.... I could bring you here...." he blushed "that day I was drunk ‘cuz.... I wanted someone to drink with me and laugh like we did before together.... but... there were just strangers...." he hadn’t meet Shane this time. "and I didn’t want any of those girls when I was so down on the dumps missing you...." he giggled.

"I know I sound ridiculous, Muds.... I just needed to tell you all that...." he whispered hugging his legs with his free hand. "after that i started coming here....till i could remember the way myself...."

Murdoc's heart broke slightly hearing Stuart had been missing him, and he's been stuck in a Mexican prison. The last thing he'd done to Stuart was try to strangle him too.... He frowned, he wasn't quite sure what to say about it so he did the next best thing. He crawled over behind Stuart and sprawled his legs out so Stuart was sitting between them. He then wrapped his arms around Stuart and pulled the kid back so his back was against Murdoc's chest. He gave him a hug and brought a hand up to pet his hair.

"Well I'm here now Stuart, and I love you." He whispered and kissed his head. "You mean so much to me Stuart. I never thought I'd get to experience this in my life, especially with you." He chuckled. "I never want it to end though.... thank you Stuart. I'm the one who owes you my life." He gave him another small hug and looked up to the stars.

Stuart just leaned closer him hearing what he said. "One day, Muds.... I'll write a song about this day...." he promised....

Soon he sat straighten and looked around for the light bugs.... "have you ever caught a firefly Muds....?"

He frowned focusing in grabbing one with his long fingered hands.... after some tries he managed to catch one.

He smiled widely and went to show Murdoc

Closer his face he showed him the tiny bug "See...? It's easy...." he learned how to do it when he was alone there bored. Now he could show Murdoc and he was so happy for that.

From the distance he saw Cortez eating some bugs.... he chuckled and shook his head. "Try yourself, Muds...." he encouraged him.

Murdoc smiled, he had no doubt the boy would write a song about this. He was brilliant at coming up with lyrics, he was quite talented. He watched the singer go after some of the bugs.

"Can't say I've ever caught one, love. Stoke didn't really have many in the area.... I never came to a grassy meadow like this either.... I didn't even know these existed here to be honest." He swallowed. He would have loved to come to a place like this after his dad had knocked him around a few times. Would have been better than going to get drunk. It would have been better if Stuart was there, but that would have been impossible, given the age difference.

Stuart showed him the bug, as it lit up in his hand, it's tiny glow lighting up Stuart's eyes. He smiled at the beauty and how happy the singer was by something as simple as a firefly. He wouldn't trade that moment for anything in the world.

"Beautiful...." he whispered, looking at Stuart. He then looked around at the surrounding bugs. He slowly reached out and attempted to grab one. He failed the first few times, then managed to get one. He brought it close and slowly released his hand. He watched as it flickered and flew away. It was tranquil.

Stuart smiled to him "See? You made it" he told him excitedly clapping. He took a lot more of time to learn and Murdoc did that so quick. He was impressed.

"Muds.... that's how love worked for me.... I.... I couldn’t keep you inside my hands.... eventually you'd fly...." he looked at him "and now I think I gave you a reason to stay...." he chuckled.

"You think we can stay here for the night, Muds? I bet the sunrise here is beautiful..." he purred coming closer him and closing his eyes "Hope you liked my way to thank you for today...." he whispered. "I love you...." he told him fondly and nuzzled his face on his chest turning to him.

Murdoc smiled at his love analogy. He watched the bug fly away and join the others, then he looked back at Stuart.

"This was perfect Stu. I love it. And I love you. Of course we can stay." He pulled the singer closer to him and wrapped his arms around him. He pet his hair gently and slowly, never wanting this moment to end. He knew then, he could do anything in this world, as long as Stuart was with him. He kissed the top of his head and continued to watch the fireflies dance in the night.

Eventually, he noticed Stuart's breathing had become slower and steadier. He figured he maybe fell asleep, but he wasn't sure. He continued to slowly pet his hair.

"Thank you Stuart.... you've shown me all I didn't know I could have...." he whispered to the boy. "I love you more than I thought I could love anything in this world...." he frowned. "I'm so sorry all I did to you." He pulled Stuart in closer, his heart breaking slightly thinking of all the shit he'd done to Stuart. He could feel his eyes stinging and he sniffled and held it back.

"I'm so sorry Stuart. I swear I'll make it up to you, or I'll die trying...." he cleared his throat gently and continued to pet his hair, looking up into the stars.

Stuart noticed that he was a bit shaken. He was tired but wouldn't sleep on him it wasn’t fair him carrying the singer back to the Winnie. He bit his lip to his apologies. He gently leaned closer him.... maybe silence was what Murdoc needed in the end to talk what he felt. He grip his shirt. And closed his eyes shut feeling him caressing his hair.

Even not needing to hear his apologies he deep inside knew he meant those... He was really sorry for what he had done. His tone of voice told him that. "I forgive you, Muds...." he whispered "for everything...." And gripped tighter his shirt.

Murdoc flinched when he heard Stuart was awake. He rubbed his eyes quickly, pushing away any tears fighting to make it to the surface. He hugged Stuart closer.

"Sorry, Stuart. I didn't know you were awake.... but thank you...." he pet his hair. "I don't forgive myself. Suppose I never will." He whispered and kissed the top of his head.

"I've done a lot of awful shit Stuart, the worst one was hurting you.... and yet, you're so good to me.... I want to be good for you, you deserve so much." He smiled. It was so easy to talk out here in the dark again. Satan, he never thought he'd be saying anything like this, ever. They were words he never, in a million years, thought he'd utter. He grabbed Stuart's hand gripping his shirt and brought it up to gently kiss each of his fingertips.

"I love you Stuart. I love your fingers...." he moved down to kiss his head, "I love your hair...." he moved Stuart so he was facing Murdoc, he kissed his eyelids. "I love your eyes...." he then kissed his nose. "I love this nose." He smiled and gently kissed his lips. "And I love these lips. They utter the most beautiful words...." he caressed his face.

Stuart froze for a moment...... Murdoc was actually saying those sweet words......? He stopped for a second and his eyes watered. His mouth opened but he couldn't say a thing. "I think you're my soul mate, Muds...." he whispered and smiled gently.

When he smiled, the tears fell. He was really happy now. He wrapped his arms around him giving a big hug and crying softly on his shoulder. However, those were tears from happiness he could tell.

He mumbled some "I love you..." dozens of times.

Murdoc chuckled and rubbed Stuart's back as the boy cried on his shoulder. He knew they were tears of happiness so he wasn't very worried about them.

"Can we be soul mates if I don't have my soul?" Murdoc teased, continuing to rub the crying singer’s back. He never thought someone would call him that, he wasn't entirely sure what else to say, so he continued to comfort Stuart, whispering a few "I love you too." back to the boy. Murdoc decided if he died right now, he'd have no regrets.... well, he'd have a few, but none regarding him and Stuart. Everything between them was perfect right now.

"O-of course you do Mu’doc.... You wouldn't be doing such nice things for me.... a-a-are I wouldn't be crying here that I'm so happy if you didn't have a heart and a soul...." he told him between sobs. Soon he pulled out him with a big smile and wiped his last tears. "I'm just a big crybaby I'm sorry...." he told him chuckling and looked around.

Even with his blurry vision, the place was still stunning.... And really silent, just his sobs that cut the silence occasionally. "There are some fishes in the lake ... But I think that's too dark to see it.... I used to feed them too...." he told him absentmindedly.

Murdoc smiled and wiped the singer’s cheeks. "It's okay." He reassured him. He was happy that Stuart was so sure about his soul, it even made him chuckle a little. The kid was so sweet.

He looked over towards the lake, imagining Stuart feeding fish silently on the side of it. He looked back at the boy, one of his hands still on his cheek, moving his thumb back and forth in a calm manner.

"Let’s come back here when we have finished filming, yeah? We'll make a day of it and feed the fish." He whispered. He knew they had a bit of a grueling schedule coming up for filming and he still had to deal with his Jimmy problem. Then he was determined to spend a lot more time with Stuart.

"O-of course this would be awesome.... I-if everything goes well tomorrow we can visit my parents another time.... your mother and father in law" he joked a bit not noticing how serious this could be when he put that way. He was so happy Murdoc wanted to come back there he smiled showing his gap teeth.

Murdoc noticed the little slip up and chuckled a bit. "We have to see how well it goes first. They may still hate my guts for hurting you. If, by some miracle, they ever want to see my face again after tomorrow, I'll spend another day with them, yeah?"

He didn't really acknowledge Stuart's marriage joke only because he felt the kid was only making a joke and the thought of marriage never crossed his mind. The seed was planted though and it's something he would have to think about if it ended up going well for the two later on.

‘ _This kid wears his heart on his sleeve, that's for sure._ ’ Murdoc thought to himself. He wished he could be that carefree sometimes, the singer seemed to enjoy it. He grinned from ear to ear when Stuart showed his gap in his smile. It was barely noticeable in only the moonlight, but he could tell. He'd seen it a million times before.

"Well I think that if my father.... who hated you to the guts invited us to go there .... it's not a trap.... I mean.... my mother won't be waiting for us with a sniper...." He shrugged "besides he'll have tonight to talk to her.... I'll send him a message tomorrow before we leave to see if everything is okay...." He promised. It was already too late to call his father now anyway. He had already lost track of time.... well it always happened when he was with Murdoc....

Stuart was always like this.... but when he talked about marriage and other things like that Paula for example turned him off roughly saying that not in a million year she would do that. Well for Stuart who grew up with his parents together it was kinda normal marry.... the only part they couldn't give them were grandchildren but well there was Noodle... and he had her as his little sister and sometimes daughter.

He thought Murdoc would be totally against ‘cuz he didn't have a family.... and look now. He has one. Dysfunctional, but okay.... Stuart was proud to call him a part of his family. And was proud too to show him as his boyfriend.

Murdoc laughed softly and brushed some of Stuart's hair away from his face. "I would honestly be impressed if you're mum jumped out with a sniper." He teased.

"Yeah," he continued, "sending a message is a good idea love. Make sure I am still invited over, yeah? I really want to make a good impression on them now that I'm dating their son." He hoped he had made a decent impression on Mr. Pot, at least enough to make sure the man didn't absolutely want him dead. Without thinking he touched the bruise on his face from the punch.

His mind came back to the whole marriage thing. He wasn't really marriage material right? Did Stuart want to actually marry him or was he just joking with him earlier. He decided to put a pin in it for later.  

Murdoc suddenly yawned and stretched a bit. He pulled Stuart closer and kissed his shoulder. He was beginning to get a bit tired, the excitement of the day finally taking it's toll on him.

"Wanna go to bed so we can get up early enough for a sunrise?" He asked the singer.

He grabbed the hand that was on his face taking it and kissing his fingers. "Yeah I'll wake up early tomorrow and drive us there.... of course you still invited...." He nudged him playfully. The way he talked to his father was absolutely mature and unexpected for Stuart. He knew he did well.... He wouldn't do better.... and we'll Mr. Pot was an older Stuart to the record.... He was just angry

 "We need to stop for gas before...." He nuzzled his face on his hand. "And go buy flowers.... I don't know what time is it to be honest Muds.... but yeah I'm tired.... minding joining me Johnnie and Paul?" He asked with a big smile standing up and stretching too. He leaned a hand for Murdoc stand up, yawning.

"If I could whistle I'd call Cortez love.... but I can't.... and he had already eaten a lot of fireflies.... he must be shining in the inside by now...." he chuckled "He must be tired too...."

Murdoc stood up with Stuart's help. He brushed himself off and stretched, he was getting too old for this. He pulled Stuart in by the waist, holding him close.

"We'll get some flowers, don't worry love and we'll get gas. We, well, I have to make a good impression. Believe me we won't forget the flowers." He walked slowly back to the Winnie with Stuart.

He snorted. "Maybe you shouldn't give the stuffed animals guys names. Sounds like I have to fight off two other men for you." He squeezed his hip playfully. He whistled for the bird, who cawed in the distance. Murdoc liked the idea of the bird glowing from eating the bugs. Would make him look pretty badass in his opinion.

"Oh I'm sorry.... I looked at them and thought they were males.... but i can change that...." he chuckled. "You can pick names if you want...." he was just like a child sometimes.

Soon the singer entered the Winnie and Cortez followed him.... even the bird seemed tired. Stuart laid down on the bed and looked through the window. From where he parked he could see full moon and when the lights were out it was gonna be perfect.

He stood up "I'll brush my teeth and take my pills, Muds...." he would get ready for sleeping actually. He stood up again and kissed his cheek before going to the bathroom.

Murdoc walked to the bed after Stuart got up again. He flopped down, not really bothering to get ready. He realized how tired and sore he was from today. It'd been a lot of fun though.

He eventually decided he'd at least get undressed, so he was finally on the bed in only his underwear, waiting for Stuart. He pushed the stuffed animals aside, chuckling at the names Stuart had given them.

He looked out at the moon, nervously thinking about tomorrow. He remembered the last time he'd seen them. He'd casually played off that Stuart was fine thanks to him, even though he had returned the boy with half his face scraped and his other eye blackened. But he was awake! He slapped his hand over his face, he had been a huge dick. Then he'd ran, but he did visit Stuart because he looked like a great front man and the rest was history. He could understand why his parents hated him. He was actually surprised all he got was a punch.

Stuart was quick to finish get ready. He looked at Cortez that was trying to find a spot to sleep into the Winnie and caressed his feathers wishing him a good night.

Soon he turned off the lights and it was just like he thought, gorgeous moon and his boyfriend looking at it. He bit his lip smiling.... he felt really lucky to have such a beautiful man with him.

He took off his clothes and left his underwear on slipping next to Murdoc.

"Did I take long, love....?" he whispered admiring the moon together with him.... he wondered what was Murdoc thinking now. He laid his head on his chest and wrapped his bony arm around his waist pulling him close.

Murdoc wrapped his arm around Stuart as he pulled him close. "No you're good. I was just thinking about.... things. The past. Mainly how much of an ass I was before. I'm just surprised all I got from your father was a punch to the face. I definitely deserve several."

Stuart was warm, he cuddled the boy closer to him and looked out the window at the moon. He could hear Cortez making an almost purring/cooing sound somewhere in the dark. He smiled as how perfect this moment was. He put his hand in Stuart's hair and slowly pet it.

"Even if he tried hit you again I wouldn't allow.... he only managed to punch you ‘cuz I was far from you Muds.... Remember Russel? I didn’t let him hurt you too.... It wouldn’t be different with my father. I'd defend you." he explained softly, his heart racing.... he didn’t know what came to him to have all that strength to face the drummer.

But one thing was true, he wouldn’t let anyone hurt Murdoc even if he deserved. "Don’t think about that love.... leave the past where it belongs...." he said with a smile.

 "you have a second chance now with them.... and with me, well you have all the chances in the world, Muds...." he promised with a small giggle. "Think about the future...." he held him close thinking about good things that could happen to both of them from now own.

Murdoc chuckled at the kids enthusiasm. He appreciated he was willing to protect him even if someone could easily take Stuart and snap him over their leg. Murdoc wouldn't let him take a hit for him or anything, plus he didn't think anyone would hit Stuart anyways.

He closed his eyes and snuggled into the singer. He was warm and it was the most relaxed he'd ever felt. He was right, he should look to the future and stop worrying about the past. Stuart didn't seem to be worrying about it. He slowly fell asleep.


	22. Flowers

He woke up to Cortez cawing loudly right by his ear. He swung his hand lazily trying to get the bird away from him. He cracked an eye open and saw that the sun was just beginning to rise. He felt the boy sleeping soundly next to him. He gave him a small nudge to wake him up.

"Hey Bluebird. Wake up." He whispered and kissed his forehead. He gave Cortez a quick scratch to thank him.

Stuart woke up slowly yawning.... "Good Morning Muds...." he mumbled "God it's early...." he chuckled looking to the same direction as Murdoc.... the sun was rising and it was amazing. The sky was blue pink and orange....

Cortez came next to them tilting his head.... "Oh so you woke us up... Thank you...." he chuckled to the bird scratching him too.

Soon he smiled to Murdoc and pulled his sheets over both man and leaned closer the window kneeling on the bed. "It's.... beautiful, Muds...." it was cold outside but from inside the Winnie it was cool and warm.

He looked through the window owlishly and grabbed his hand.

"Yes, this bloody pigeon woke me up right next to my ear." Murdoc growled. He wasn't much of a morning person. He stretched to wake up a bit. He looked up to Stuart and saw him in the faint light of oranges and pinks. His eyes reflected the colors slightly and he looked amazing.

He smiled and grabbed a cigarette, hoping that'd help him stay awake. He silently smoked as he watched Stuart watch the sunrise. He didn't even care much for the sunrise, it was Stuart that fascinated him more. He was like a child, just mesmerized by it. 

"It's definitely beautiful." He said looking at Stu, taking another puff. He squeezed his hand and smiled. He was a little nervous for today but he was ready.

"Murdoc if I asked you something strange would you mind doing....? " he bit his lip still mesmerized by the landscape in front of him. He knew Murdoc wasn’t a morning person so it was really nice him waking up him not yelling or cursing.... was another improvement.

He looked at him fondly.

Murdoc looked at him curiously and grunted, "Yeah, of course.... what is it?" He rubbed the kids leg near him. Of course he'd do anything the kid asked, regardless of how ridiculous. He puffed on his cigarette and waited, watching the singer.

"If you're a good mood.... I really enjoyed you singing while we were coming here yesterday.... would you mind doing it again....?" he asked whispering.... "It's early still, my parents should be sleeping by now...... so we have time.... but if you don’t want that’s okay...."

Stuart was weird sometimes with his requests, he just hoped Murdoc wouldn’t get mad with him.

He wanted to ask him to sing after he sang in the Winnie.... but he was too ashamed for.

                Murdoc choked at the request, he hadn't been expecting that at all. No one ever requests him to sing. He sounds like to pieces or sandpaper scraping together, hence why his bands never worked out before. But he nodded and put his cigarette out. He'd do this for Stu though. He cleared his throat and started singing their song 'Slow Country' from their first album.

"City life.... Calling me all the time.... Me and my soul.... Geared to attack.... Never get another chance.... So what you doing.... Gotta get money.... Keeping me real." He tried to sing it in a similar way Stu did, but he didn't feel like he was getting the same feel. He continued regardless.

"Can't stand your loneliness, can't stand loneliness, can't stand your loneliness, can't stand loneliness." He sang out, looking out at the sunrise. He always liked how Stuart had sung that song. It'd been sad, yet beautiful. Almost haunting. Murdoc just didn't sound the same. He sang the rest of it as best he could. His face felt a little red from embarrassment at the end of it. Thank Satan it was a little darker still.

Stuart smiled wide, from ear to ear. He even chuckled.... Murdoc was singing to him after the sunrise. How nice was that? Normally he would be hangover and cursing around.... but now he had him in an incredible good mood singing a song that was actually really nice....

he looked at him and after a while to the horizon again,  playing with his upside down cross that he didn’t give him back after the date the previous night.... he stole his cigarrete while Murdoc sang, smoking it.

 Cortez laid nearby still thinking he could do better tilting his hear confused. Stuart chuckled.... "Thanks Muds...." he whispered seeing his red face and giving his sore face a kiss. it was much better than the previous night.

Stuart liked the way he sung.... it wasn’t the best of course, but he was in love.... so he could hear him whole day....

Murdoc smiled and cleared his throat. "You’re welcome Bluebird...." he whispered. He always knew how to be so sweet. "Don't tell Noodle or Russel I'm this nice or they'll start expecting things." He laughed, giving Cortez's head a scratch.

After a few minutes he stood up and stretched. He had had a full nights rest for the first time in a long time and he felt amazing for once. He could get used to this. He turned back to Stuart.

"Want to take a shower with me?" He asked, looking back outside from where he stood. He thought it'd be nice to relax in a shower with the singer. He would get a chance to touch his hair again, which he was beginning to love doing.

"No I won’t tell a thing...." even if he wanted to tell Noodle how he was happy and in love, and wanted to see her face saying "no way Murdoc would ever do that" with her little chin dropped he couldn’t.... they would start mocking Murdoc. Besides it was something he knew only him could have.... so it was even more special for him. Like his little treasure knowing that Murdoc Niccals could be soft. but just with him.

Stuart stood up wobbly stretching as well.... he was really glad Murdoc didn’t have nightmares like he used to when they slept together.... he was improving even in that. "Sure Muds... I'd love to." he turned his back to him "Lemme just send a message to them. I reply after the shower......" he told him with a smile.

He just asked if it was okay if he went there for breakfast and if Murdoc was allowed to go. Simply. He turned back to Murdoc "Go ahead, sweetie." he said softly going to the bathroom.

Murdoc snorted, "Sweetie?" He wrapped his arms around singer from behind. He gave the singer's shoulder soft little kisses. "Your pet names for me keep getting sweeter and sweeter." He teased. He didn't mind the names, he just wanted to play with Stu a bit.

He walked with him to the shower and started it. He assessed the skinny lad for a minute, the hickeys on his neck were fading nicely, another day and you'd hardly even know they were there. The ones on his ass would be a few more days. When they healed and filming was over he'd mark him again. Stuart's pale skin looked nice when it was bruised. He smiled thinking about biting and sucking on it again.

Cortez suddenly appeared on the shower curtain rod, looking down on them. He cawed twice, which was amplified by the enclosed space.

"Fuck off, you blood chicken!!" Murdoc growled, flicking him with water. The bird gave a sort of chortle and just sat there flicking his head every which way. Murdoc looked at Stuart.

"Why the hell did we bring him?"

Stuart smiled to him back. He didn’t have the opportunity to call anyone by pet names. Paula hated that...... and Stuart was really sweet what he could do? He thought he would hate that.... glad to know he didn’t. He wondered if anyone in life had called Murdoc like that in a honest way and not lustful or full of second thoughts.

Stuart noticed Murdoc analyzing him "Yeah, love... I'm almost healed...." he told him with a soft smile wrapping his arms around his waist and leaning into his ear "And looking forward for you to mark me again after the recording...." he confessed when Cortez entered the bathroom.

"Well ‘cuz he's your friend Muds.... he found the token and well... He would be lonely in Kong.... there weren’t any other crows there...." he looked at Cortez "and not any.... what's the feminine of crow? Oh never mind." he shook his head "I like him." he smiled to Murdoc. "he’s just a bit loud but he already helped us quite a lot...... let him be." he kissed his nose

Murdoc blushed and smirked at the nose kiss. "Fine...." he looked up and pointed at Cortez, "You hear that buddy? This Bluebird here saved you. So watch yourself." He tried to be serious. The bird just looked at him and gave some quick chirps, which cause Murdoc to laugh.

"Asshole...."  he chuckled. He looked back at Stuart and gave him a smile. He got close, smacked his ass gently and then gave him a kiss. He then grabbed the shampoo and started washing and massaging the singer’s scalp. He was a bit higher up, which made it a little more difficult for Murdoc, but he managed.

Stuart yelped at that smack but his noise was quickly interrupted by his kiss. So he smiled dumbly to Murdoc washing his hair.

"Are you nervous about today, love....?" he asked softly, he didn’t even saw his father's answer.

His hands caressed Murdoc's arms while he washed him and he closed his eyes to his touch.... "Have I told you I love when you wash, or play, or mess with my hair....? Your tiny hands are lovely, Muds...." 

He teased a bit but sounded honest, he really liked this admiration he had with his blue hair. Now Murdoc didn’t just do it when he was nervous, he did anytime.

Murdoc let out a playful huff trying to sound offended, "My tiny hands...... didn't hear you making fun of them when I jerk you off." He laughed and winked up at Stu, continuing to massage his head.

"I'm glad you like it when I play with your hair because I never planned to stop. I love how blue it is.... it is pretty soft too. I remember when I had to wash your hair when you were in a coma...." he whispered. He'd been surprised then, wondering if it'd been dyed. Took a few months to realize it was normal.

He waited a minute before answering Stuart. He was incredibly nervous. He'd already told Stuart's father, but it was still on shaky ground.... he didn't know how it'd turn out.

"I'm...... nervous.... really nervous Stu." He said calmly, taking his mind off it by playing with Stuart's hair.

Stuart kept that thing in mind.... Murdoc washing his hair while he was in coma. So.... He did take care of him in the end. He smiled

His smile dropped for a moment.... "Is there anything I can do about that love....? W-we can drop the idea and go home if it makes you feel better...." He told him with a smile. "That's Okay." He knew it was a situation that Murdoc wouldn't be able to drink. Or be drunk to deal with his parents.... it was a risk. He opened his eyes and looked to him fondly. He was so excited that even forgot that Murdoc would be dying inside.

"We can come another time or make an excuse.... I'm good at that." He tried to joke.

He looked at Stuart for a moment. He looked into those black eyes, excited to possibly have him talk with his parents. Christ, the kid was calling them Murdoc's in-laws last night. He couldn't say he wanted to run, even if he knew it'd be so easy. He couldn't do that to Stuart. He gave him a soft smile.

"No, Bluebird. I'm going. I need to properly apologize for the hell I put them through. Especially if you and I are making this so serious. They care about you and you care about them. Can't say no to that love." He gave him a kiss. He let the water wash the shampoo away from Stu's hair and then added conditioner.

Stuart silently hugged him and stood there for a moment. It meant the world the effort he was making. "Thank you...." he whispered with a smile back in his face "I know I can't do the same for you, Muds.... but it means a lot to me that you talk to my parents and I don't mean just apologize..."

Stuart would for sure do the same if he could.... but he knew his past was dark and hideous. His father should be dead and his brother in prison or nowhere to be found, Murdoc had no one when younger. And well he knew Murdoc's family in the end, Russel and Noodle.

"I'll be right there with you if you feel nervous okay....?" He told him softly. He would be on his side every time he could now.

Murdoc smiled and hugged him back. "Thanks Stuart." He waited a moment and just enjoyed it. He then pulled away and started to wash his own hair. He knew Stuart would help him out, no matter what. He felt better.

"Thankfully my father's been dead for 10 years now and I have no idea where my brother is so...." he said matter of fact. He didn't think he'd be able to tell his dad, nor want to. His dad had never been open about gays and he didn't need his father or brother harassing Stuart. He might have to murder someone.

Stuart leaned against the opposite wall watching him washing his hair for a moment, admiring a bit even. He looked at his scars and tattoos for a moment when Murdoc wasn't looking.... He wondered where and why he did those.

"I’m sorry...." He didn't know what to say about his family.... "Maybe my parents can be yours now...." He said in a low tone trying to cheer him up with his damaged and childish brain.

Before all this happened before he felt something towards the Satanist.... he thought about Murdoc was an older brother or sorta.... as he didn't have any. He just felt sorry Murdoc had no one in his life and the singer did. He bit his lip.

Murdoc noticed Stuart looking at him and he smirked. He subtly posed a bit just to stroke his ego a bit. He still thought of himself as a God obviously.

He chuckled at Stuart's kindness. "Stuart, you're a sweetheart. I don't think your parents want me as a kid though." He laughed and half joked, half serious. He'd made their life hell, why would they want Murdoc as a kid? Even his own parents didn't want him. He came to terms with that years ago.

"Thank you though, I appreciate it." He smiled and gave Stuart a kiss. He finished washing his hair and turned the shower off. He walked out naked, not even bothering with a towel, he usually never did. Then he started to get dressed. He went through all his clothes, trying to find the nicest he could. He didn't find much, he only had his usual shirts. He frowned, getting a little more nervous again. "Shit...."

Stuart scratched the back of his head.... sometimes he just wanted to help even not knowing what he was doing. He watched him leave and grabbed a towel drying himself and wrapping it around his waist after.

He noticed that Murdoc was doing something and not being successful in it. "What's the matter Muds....?" He asked going to his backpack to grab his stuff to get ready and looking to his phone to see his father's answer.

Murdoc took a deep breath. "I was, uh.... just trying to look for a decent shirt so I don't look like a total delinquent...." he mumbled. He pursed his lips. He knew he shouldn't be too worried about it but he was honestly worrying the closer the time came. He has lot of time to think about it now, where as last time Stuart's father had just shown up, didn't give him time to be nervous.

Meanwhile, David Pot had received the text from his son. He sighed. The boy still wanted to bring Murdoc. He had told his wife what happened and she seemed to be happy that the David and Murdoc were able to get along. She was always much more carefree than he was. He wanted her to see Stuart and he wanted to see his son as well. He just texted back 'Sure. We can't wait to see you Stu. Still at the old house."

Stuart frowned to Murdoc. "Take this one Muds.... it's mine but I think it fits you.... I can use my one from yesterday...." He told him with a smile giving him the other shirt he brought into his backpack. "I just can't lend you my trousers ‘cuz their too big for you...." He chuckled and kissed his cheek "Don't worry about that okay....?" He told him taking off his upside down cross and giving it back to Murdoc. "Now you look like yourself...." He told him with a confident voice combing his hair with his fingers "I love you, handsome...." He blinked to him.

Stuart smiled to his father's message while getting dressed. Once He was done he sat down on the driver's seat and turned the engine on. Cortez came to be with him while driving with another caw. As much as Murdoc didn't have patience for him, Stuart liked the bird. He petted his head and headed to the closest gas station.

Murdoc slowly took the shirt. He supposed it was better than a black shirt with his black jeans for breakfast with the boyfriend's family. He put it on, it was one of Stuart's red t-shirt with a flock of crows on it. Seemed fitting for him. The shirt fit well in the chest but it was longer than on the bottom and in the sleeves. You couldn't see the tattoos on his shoulders, but his tattooed octopus on his arm showed pretty well. He frowned and wondered if they'd care about it. He ran his hands over it gently.

He chuckled when Stuart handed him the cross and fixed his hair. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, love you too." He put the cross in his jeans. He didn't feel like offending either of his parents today. He wasn't sure why he was trying to hard, but he knew he wanted to.... he needed to. He wanted to do this for Stuart.

He sat in the passenger seat as 2D drove, laughing at how chummy he was being with the bird. He looked out the window, looking at the surrounding area as they drove by. He liked it better here than Stoke.... it was nicer. He could see why Stuart wanted to come back.

Stuart drove silently and they stopped for gas. It was a quick stop so he just smoked a fag while waiting ‘cuz he was nervous and headed to the flower shop.

At there, he asked if Murdoc wanted to come along with him to buy the flowers. He knew which ones were his mother's favorites and wanted to know if the same girl was working there.

Murdoc nodded and told Stuart to go ahead of him and he'd be in in a minute. He was going to fill up the gas real quick. Cortez stayed in the Winnie, but was displeased. Murdoc just laughed at him tapping on the window.

He thought about what kind of flowers to get Stuart's mom while he waited for the tank to fill up. He tried to remember if he'd ever heard Stuart talk about it or if she'd ever worn anything flower related when they had talked. He couldn't remember, which made him frown. When the gas finished filling up, he walked towards the store to find Stuart.

Stuart went there and it was the same girl as before. He told her good morning politely.

"So what brings you back here....?" She said happily placing the flowers He ordered on the table. "Here your father bought those at Mrs. Pot birthday...." Now he knew for sure those were the right ones.

"I wanted to bring Murdoc to my father's funfair... "He told her excitedly.

"Was it good?" She smiled to him.

"Yeah he actually talked to my father.... apologized and now we're good" he suppressed the punch part. Unnecessary.

"So you and him are....?" She asked curiously.

Stuart blushed profusely "Yeah we are...." He has told the girl beforehand about Murdoc.... He smiled at her.

"Congratulations Stu.... I'm really glad for you both...." she said excitedly and gave him a big hug. This moment Murdoc opened the store's front door.

Janet was the daughter of the owner of the flower shop. It name was Janet's flowers due to that. Stuart met her at the funfair and they became friends. She was the one who knew about Murdoc a bit more than the others. She knew what the Satanist meant to Stuart and was the only one who didn't flirt with him, as she had a boyfriend.

Murdoc walked in and saw the girl hugging Stuart. He frowned and walked over, "Christ, Stu I can't leave you alone for even a minute without girls all over you." He grumbled. His nervousness made him a little grouchy, like his usual self, plus having to fend off girls yesterday just made it worse. He looked at the cute girl by Stuart.

"Murdoc Niccals, doll. Who the hell are you?" He asked, trying to keep himself civil in case she happened to be Stuart's friend.

The girl chuckled "Janet and you must be Murdoc...." she didn't bother about his behavior, Stuart already told her about his grumpy self. "Nice to meet you"

Stuart frowned to him "Mu’doc this is my friend.... Janet." He smiled to him "And she's not all over me.... she's congratulating me for dating you...." He told him softly.

"I heard pretty much about you, Murdoc...." she smiled to him sweetly "When I saw Stuart coming here to buy flowers I thought it was for you...." she giggled.

Stuart blushed profusely "Er.... no...." not that he wouldn't buy flowers one day to him but it wasn’t the occasion. He looked to other way.

"And don't worry, I have a boyfriend.... Stuart is a good friend and totally crazy bout you...." she chuckled "even if I was single...." she told Murdoc with a sweet smile. Stuart blushed even more. "I think I'll smell other flowers...." He left them alone nervous.

Murdoc lifted an eyebrow in surprise. He looked from Stuart back to Janet. He stared at her another moment then gave one of his charming smiles.

"Of course, of course. Sorry about that. You should have seen all the broads hanging off him yesterday." He rolled his eyes. He was happy to hear Stuart was talking about him that much, apparently to everyone. He liked this girl, mainly because she had the good sense to stay the fuck off of Stuart, he wasn't in the mood for it this morning.

"So.... how'd you two meet?" He asked, while he scoped for some flowers nearby. He noticed the ones Stuart grabbed and decided to grab similar but different ones. While doing this he noticed a small blue tulip sitting by itself in a vase, probably left behind for some reason. It was a gorgeous blue.... like Stuart's hair. He grabbed it, along with an assortment of red, orange, and yellow flowers.

"Oh one day at the funfair.... I went there with my father.... that wanted to talk to Stuart's father about the flowers He ordered to his mother.... while they were talking he presented me Stuart his son that was working there.... we became friends quite quickly......" she smiled to him "Stu's father thought that he was interested in me.... till the moment he discovered I was already taken...." she chuckled. "And that well.... Stuart wasn't interested in anyone actually...." she shrugged.

"Oh I see you pick those.... it's a good choice." He pointed to one of the flowers in his hand "but he's a bit allergic to the yellow ones I must tell you...." she warned.

While she talked to him Stuart wandered around seeing the other flowers.... there were flowers to weddings, to bouquets even to funerals. He was mesmerized but all those shapes and colors once again. He used to go to the shop in his free time. Janet joked once that he would be a good seller if he worked there. She taught him some things about flowers and he taught her about keyboards.

Murdoc frowned and put the yellow ones back. "Thanks...." he said. He looked at what he had left, the blue one continuing to draw his attention more than the others. He listened to Janet talk, but he kept peering over at Stuart. He thought about how Stuart could have had a different life if he hadn't of come back. Murdoc would still be stuck in prison or somewhere worse probably.

He looked back at Janet. "Answer me honestly. I'm sure Stuart's told you a lot about me, the good and some of the bad. Do you know I'm the one that did that to his eyes? And his teeth? If I did that to you.... or a family member would you forgive me for doing that?" He asked, genuinely curious.

The girl stopped for a moment. "That was the first thing he told me about you, Murdoc ‘cuz I was really curious about the accident his father mentioned when we first met...." she looked at Stuart, clueless as always "look the way he talked to me about you.... I could say he was almost thankful due to this accident...." she chuckled

"I dunno if I would forgive but.... what's the point in living hating someone forever? Would change what he or she did to you?" She frowned "Its past and it's something overcome. If I didn't forgive I would forget." From the distance, he was smelling some red roses.

She took some steps back and lifted her trousers "look." She didn't have one of her legs "I suffered an accident too...." this Stuart didn't know.

"There was a fire in my house some time ago. My older crazy brother who didn’t live with us ... but was jealous of me tried to kill me once. He did that when I was sleeping and left the house burning with me inside." She told him seriously "one of the ceiling parts fell on my leg and well it couldn't be saved...." she smiled to him "but guess what.... who saved me was my boyfriend.... if that fire never happened I wouldn't be with him today.... “She leaned closer "I don't hate my brother for that.... I forgave him and forget.... even thanked him.... ‘cuz of him I got the most amazing person I have in my life...." she chuckled "I plan to marry him soon. And all that I suffered.... past" she blinked to him.

Maybe it was for this reason her and Stuart got on pretty well.... she thought just like him.

"I think things happen for a reason, Murdoc" she entered again going to look for the card Stuart chose to his mother.

Murdoc was surprised she was telling him all this. He saw her leg and looked up into her eyes and gulped. She sounded just like Stuart. Optimist, happy, thankful.... he looked over to Stuart. He was angry for a second, mainly with himself. How the fuck did these people forgive things so easily? How'd they see things in such a happy way? Why couldn't he do that. How badly had his home life fucked him up?

He clenched his jaw and looked back at Janet and nodded. "You're right.... they do happen for a reason. I guess sometimes we just need a little help seeing that, yeah? Suppose if I didn’t have Stuart, I'm sure I'd be rotting in a cell...." he said casually. He smiled.

"Christ.... that kid's really worn me down...." he chuckled. He looked down at the blue flower he had and twirled it gently in his fingers. He put it with the rest and put them on the counter to pay.

"Thanks Janet. And uh.... hope it all goes well with your boyfriend...." he said, looking down a little embarrassed. He wasn't good with small talk like that.

Janet chuckled "Thank you.... it will.... hope things work out for you both too.... that you be really happy together." She knew Murdoc needed Stuart as much as he needed him.

Soon Stuart came back having already looked to all flowers he could.

"I put the card you ordered Stu...." she pointed to it. The singer smiled.

"Thanks Janet." He looked to Murdoc that seemed a bit embarrassed. He raised a brow. "Is everything okay?" He asked to them both.

"Yeah it is.... I think Murdoc wanted to give you something or talk to you...." Janet told him. The singer looked back to Murdoc.

"Come to visit more often...." she suggested ruffling Stuart's hair... "Bye guys, have a nice trip..." she told them softly with a smile going inside to keep working.

Murdoc watched her leave, thankful for the help. He looked up at Stuart and gave him a soft smile. "Uh, I wanted to give you this. The rest is for your mom, but this flower...." he swallowed getting increasingly embarrassed, "reminded me of you.... for obvious reasons." He held the flower out for Stuart.

For fucks sake this was something he never thought he'd do. He felt like a child giving a crush a flower. Stuart probably hated it. It had looked better in his head honestly. More romantic and less childish. He wished the ground would swallow him up, he couldn't even look at Stuart, he just stared at the flower.

Stuart blinked twice the flower was beautiful as blue as his hair.

Soon he was with a large smirk across his face "Muds it's beautiful...." He said in a low tone taking in and placing on his hair......

"I loved that.... thank you for think about me..." He whispered to him and kissed his cheek.

He went to the mirror nearby looking at it with his face red and totally adorable.

Janet just took a quick glance to Murdoc from where she is giving him a thumbs up.

Soon Stuart came back with his flower happy as ever grabbing his mother's "shall we go, love....?" He was even cuter with that on his head.

Murdoc saw her thumbs up and shrugged. He was completely out of his usual element and embarrassed, but Stuart seemed happy so that's all that mattered. He held onto the bouquet of orange and red flowers he'd bought as well for Stuart's mom. They looked like a fire, very pretty.

When Stuart came back over, he had the flower in his hair. This made Murdoc smile, "You look very nice my love." He said, nodding and walking back to the Winnie with him.

When they got inside, Cortez was talking up a storm, pacing by the window. He was mad at being left. Murdoc gave him one of his flowers and he gladly accepted it, tearing at the petals and throwing them on the ground nearby. Murdoc rolled his eye and laughed. Sometimes he didn't understand the bird.

"Alright Stuart.... to your house." He smiled and sat down, nervousness boiling up in the pit of his stomach. He held onto the flowers tightly.


	23. Pot's Family

Stuart smiled to him sitting on the driver's seat and starting the travel. He laughed at Cortez too...... He would introduce the creature to his parents too as his little pet.

He looked at Murdoc from time to time to see if he was okay. He could tell that no.... He was nervous beyond his normal.... Stuart bit his lip and kept driving to the destination. Unfortunately he couldn't drink.... but if he wanted to get drunk after, fair enough.

Reaching there he looked at the house and some memories from his childhood came to him. They moved from Crawley to Eastbourne years ago after the accident happened. But, he couldn't remember much. That damned tree that he fell and hit his head was there. He frowned to it.

Once he parked he took a deep breath and looked at the rearview mirror if his hair was okay, letting the flower appear a lot. "Are you ready love....?" He gave Murdoc a sincere smile. "You want yourself to give my mom those flowers...?" He was holding the bouquet so tight that he wouldn't try to catch back.

Murdoc nodded, not looking at him, but staring at the flowers instead. He was stared at them a moment longer, took a deep breath and finally looked to Stuart. He gave him a big smile, telling him he was ready.

"Yeah, I'd like to give these to her if that's alright?" He said. His heart was beating a million miles a minute. He was slightly lost at how to act. He couldn't put on the Murdoc Niccals charm that helped mask how he truly felt, as they knew full well how fake that charm could be. Now he needed to be a lot more real and it made him even more nervous.

"I'll get Cortez." He said, he knew he'd feel a bit better to have the raven as a kind of distraction. He got up and put on the glove, walking over to the bird and having him hop onto it obediently. He gave his head some gentle pets.

"Okay Cortez, behave. Can you do that?" He whispered. The bird gave a loud caw in response and ruffled his feathers as if offended. Murdoc chuckled, turned back to Stuart, one arm with Cortez, the other was holding a bouquet. He smiled at the boy.

"Ready."

Stuart smiled back and nodded "Of course you can...."

When he walked out and saw Murdoc holding Cortez and a bouquet of flowers he swore he fell in love once more. He wanted to marry Murdoc right there. His face went red his mouth dry and his heart raced even more. He was so.... perfect through his eyes. That smile.... He melted for a moment admiring him.

He leaned closer Murdoc pecking his lips and caressing Cortez. "Everything will be okay I promise." He told him in a whisper.

He swallowed his nervousness and grabbed his hand going to the front door and pressing the doorbell.

Rachel opened the door moments later, smiling and running out to hug her son. "Stuart! I'm so happy to see you!" She reached up and gave him two kisses, one for each cheek. She looked just as Murdoc remembered her. Almost taller than Murdoc, a little chubby with huge breasts. She had a kind face and had always been nice to Murdoc, even when she had been devastated about her child.

Murdoc stood there awkwardly with the bird and flowers. David came out and gave Stuart hugs as well. They didn't seem to notice Murdoc at all and he was fine staying in the background, watching the happy family.

"Honey, you're so skinny." Rachel fussed, looking Stuart up and down. She fussed with his hair and looked at his eyes. She thought for sure he'd gain some weight eventually.

"’Ello mum..." he told her back, happy but not excited as her as he knew Murdoc was nervous. She was even more beautiful than Stuart could remember her. He smiled. David took good care of her.

Stuart hugged his dad with a gentle smile too. "No I'm just the same mom.... even eating I don't gain weight even if I wanted...." he chuckled. He didn't like his mother messing with him but we'll.... She was his mom in the end. "I'm taking care of myself.... actually Murdoc is…" he told her softly caressing his face.

Noticing Murdoc a bit away he tried to introduce him "Mom, this is Murdoc, but you already know that.... my boyfriend" he told the couple and opened his arm inviting him. "Oh this little buddy here is Cortez, our pet...." he scratched the neck of the animal. He didn't know if Murdoc would be okay with 'our' but he really liked the bird.

Rachel hadn't noticed Murdoc till Stuart said something, so happy to see her son again. When she saw Murdoc she looked surprised, for a moment, Murdoc thought she'd be upset next, but instead she gave him a warm smiled.

"Of course! Murdoc, little dove. How are you sweetheart?" She asked, walking up to him. She wanted to give him a hug, but the bird and flowers kind of made it hard. She looked at the bird, curious.

"What a lovely little thing. Hi Cortez." She cooed at the bird. The bird awed it's response  and she giggled at it. Murdoc smiled at her and felt a little at ease. She was as kind as he remembered.

"Hi, Mrs. Pot. It's lovely to see you again.... this time on better circumstances." Murdoc said, he handed her the flowers. "These are for you, thanks for having me this morning." He said in a softer, more quiet tone. Rachel's face lit up as she took the flowers.

"Oh, little dove, please, call me Rachel! And you're so sweet, love. Thank you!" She gave him a hug, which surprised Murdoc and Cortez. The bird cawed and flew off to sit on top of the house. Rachel just laughed and guided Murdoc into the house without another word. He looked at David as they walked by, who just frowned at him and walked with Stuart to follow Rachel.

"Come on boys! Let's sit for a bit, I almost have breakfast done." She guided him to the couch and had Murdoc sit, which he did, looking incredibly nervous. She walked into the kitchen to finish the food. It smelled wonderful in there.

Stuart smiled wide seeing his mother was really polite with him.... this warmed his heart. was his dream that she accepted whoever was with him, a man or a woman.

Stuart flinched and gave a aware glance to Cortez that she was a friend. he was afraid he would pluck her eye or try to.

His jaw almost fell hearing Murdoc, where was that rude and yelly self? God he felt like crying how sweet he was.... it made his chest warm. To that hug, he smiled to Murdoc fondly. For a good second expression he did just fine

The singer waved goodbye to Cortez and entered together with the others. She sat down next to Murdoc grabbing his hand and looking at him. He silently mouthed an "I love you" and without another word he gave him the token that he stole from the Winnie before leaving "for luck" he whispered to him with a smile closing his hand with it inside.

He didn’t know if his father was coming to talk to them so he waited. He wanted to show whole place to Murdoc but they could do it after eating.

Murdoc smiled and took the token, grateful. He held it in his palm and squeezed Stuart's hand. He was feeling a little less nervous, he had forgotten how sweet his mother had been, and Cortez had behaved so all was well for now.

He could hear Rachel singing in the kitchen as she cooked. She had a lovely singing voice actually. That must have been where Stuart got his. He wished she had stayed with them in the sitting room, the awkward silence with David was not fun.

David sat in a chair across from them, frowning. He watched the two closely, watching Murdoc specifically. He wanted to make sure the guy truly being changed and treating his son right. He had promised his wife he'd be civil but it was still difficult. He sighed.

"So.... did you guys do anything fun yesterday?" David asked.

Stuart snapped out his trance trying to calm Murdoc down and looked at his father with a smile. He blushed, it was an amazing day.

"Yes we did...... We went to all of the rides we wanted, took photos and Murdoc won me a prize, a little stuffed duck...." he told him proudly sounding like a child. He didn’t tell the won a much bigger one... it wasn’t fair. He caressed his hand with his thumb.

 "After that we went to a Spanish restaurant, that was really delicious.... Murdoc helped me again when I burnt my tongue eating spicy food" he looked at him fondly trying to sound he was the best person in the world.

He wanted to tell about his secret spot but that was something really personal that his father didn’t need to know.... "It was really fun.... even Cortez had fun.... I hope we come back here more often...." he told him softly.

The entire time Stuart talked, David looked from Stuart, to Murdoc, to their hands that were holding each other. He would linger on Murdoc, who would look from David to Stu. He was becoming incredibly uncomfortable with this. He thought they had possibly settled their issues, but he figured David had an entire night to think about it and change his mind.

Murdoc tried looking around the living room to distract himself. He noticed baby pictures and family pictures nearby. Stu was a normal looking baby with brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Then when he looked to be a bit older, he had the blue hair and blue eyes. He had been a cute kid. Way cuter than Murdoc had been.

"Well.... good. Glad.... you had fun...." David said hesitantly. He hadn't been expecting Stuart to have as much fun as he was with Murdoc, he still couldn't believe it. He looked to Murdoc.

"So.... what does your dad think of all this? Your mum?" Murdoc was brought out of his thoughts and looked at David.

"Uh.... well. My dad's dead and I haven't ever met my mum so.... I suppose they're fine with it." He laughed a bit, then stopped when David didn't crack a smile.

"Hmm.... that explains a lot I suppose." David finally replied back. Murdoc frowned.

"I suppose it does." The bassist grunted. He was thinking he'd rather take a punch right now. He had so many snarky remarks he could reply back with but held his tongue instead. He looked back towards the pictures to try to ignore the awkward silence again.

Stuart decided to break the silence. He knew the topic about family was something really delicate for Murdoc, but of course David didn’t know that or didn’t care. And he knew that Murdoc was desperately tying to distract himself from his father, he needed to do something.

"Dad, Muds family isn't like our...." he chose the best words to explain that squeezing his hand. Unfortunately, he knew that even if his parents were alive they would never accept their relationship or had a conversation like they were having now.... his father would probably try to kill them both.

He cleared his throat trying not to think about that.... "But we build our own family instead...." he told him proudly not really knowing if his father was into Gorillaz' business.

He took his phone from his pocket and showed him "See? This little girl here is Noodle, we adopted and raised her since she was ten, we're like her guardians...." he showed some pictures of her younger a sweet little Japanese girl. "She’s our guitarist and we three take turns to take care of her...." he really loved her.

He smiled to Murdoc "this other guy here is Russel, our drummer...." he showed pictures of him "she has Mu’doc as a father figure, me as an older brother and Russel as an Uncle?" he thought for a second "yeah.... we're a family." he told them with a smile.

Stuart wanted to say a supportive and dysfunctional family and that Noodle was their grandkid.... but it was too much. But well at least he wanted to show David, that Murdoc wasn’t that alone and abandoned in the world even if he was when little.

David lifted an eyebrow in curiosity as he looked at the pictures. He looked from Stuart to Murdoc again. He wasn't quite sure how all this happened.

"You two? Someone gave you two a child.... to take care of?" He looked perplexed. He loved his son, but he didn't think he was capable of taking care of a pet fish let alone a child and Murdoc.... he hardly took care of Stu when he was in a coma. He didn't know this Russel but he hoped he was more responsible than these two.

"Well.... it's more like she showed up at our door. She was part of a government training program to create children super soldiers." Murdoc explained. David frowned again and shook his head. He wasn't even going to try to understand it completely. As long as they were happy and she was taken care of then it should be fine.

"A family huh? Did Murdoc run over the others as well?" David chided. Murdoc pursed his lips. David didn't think Murdoc deserved the term family. He hadn't earned it yet.

"I kidnapped Russel actually." Murdoc said in a sarcastic manner and smirked. He could tell David didn't like him still, and honestly Murdoc deserved it. But he also wasn't going to sit by idly. David looked at him for a moment, when he shook his head.

"You are a walking disaster, aren't you?" He asked. Before Murdoc could reply, Rachel came in.

"It's ready loves! Come eat!" She beamed.

David hadn’t anything to do with the fact Murdoc grew up alone. or that he didn’t have love and care. probably he was thinking that all that Murdoc did was to destroy Stuart's family ‘cuz of jealousy...  okay maybe he was right.

When he heard that comment, he snapped "Dad." and frowned.

He sighed in relieve when he heard his mother. They would start a fight for sure Stuart could tell... But well that told the singer that David thought he was part of Murdoc's family too.

"L-Let's eat everyone...." he told them with a smile. His face even paler than usual standing up and swallowing the big lump on his throat. They hated each other, and his father wasn’t helping.... he asked them to do there in first place, it wasn’t fair.

He looked at all that food and he didn’t feel like eating in that battlefield anymore. he leaned closer his mother and kissed her face "Thanks Mom...." he told her softly.

She noticed Stuart looked upset, "she pat his arm and whispered, "It's okay, love. Let them work it out. They both love you." She swept some hair out of his face and kissed his cheek. She then went to go sit down.

Murdoc sat down next to Stuart, who was next to his father at the head of the table with his wife to the left of him. Murdoc saw all the food and his mouth watered, he instantly forgot his issues with David for a moment. He didn't even know if he'd ever seen that much good food at one time. He eagerly sat down, waiting for Rachel or someone else tell him it was okay to start.

Rachel smiled at Murdoc. "Little dove, it's okay. Go ahead and start, I can tell by your eyes how eager you are to start." She giggled. She was happy Murdoc was eager to eat her food. He had always looked malnourished to her, but different than Stuart. Like he ate, but never anything healthy, probably alcohol and cigarettes.

Murdoc grinned at her, "Thanks Rachel! It looks delicious." He started grabbing stuff. He noticed Stuart wasn't as eager, but he wanted to make sure he ate. He grabbed his plate after and started putting a little bit of everything on it. Then he set it in front of Stuart. He leaned in closer to Stuart.

"Eat, love." He smiled at him.

Stuart felt his heart warmed with her words "they both love you...." so she knew, and when mother says it’s said. He smiled feeling a lot better. But anyway he would interfere if his father or Murdoc lost control.

Stuart thought that his parents would pray or something, as they  were really religious.... but it didn’t happen, thank God. He smiled to Murdoc noticing he was hungry and placed a hand on his knee under the table.

He loved the way the bassist took care of him making his plate. He would eat to make Murdoc happy. He squeezed his knee "thanks love...." he told him softly hoping his father wouldn’t scowl at their nicknames exchange. After he grabbed a fork trying a piece of cake

 "Mom it's divine...." he said fondly. He could now remember how his mother always cooked like a professional and how he missed that after living alone. it was all made with much love, he knew.

to drink she remembered how he loved his peppermint tea and made it for him too. he felt really happy and cared now, everyone in the table loved him for sure.  "This way we won’t even need to lunch...." he joked smiling to all of them.

Murdoc nodded, a mouth full of eggs. He swallowed, "This is amazing. I can't even remember the last time I had breakfast. Definitely never had one like this either."  He took a bite of some toast. Rachel looked at him with a worried expression.

"Your mum never cooked you food like this?" She asked, taking a sip of her tea. Murdoc shook his head.

"Nope, never had a mum. Dad was always drunk, I don't even think we had a pan to fry any eggs.... nor eggs." He said, taking another bite. Holy shit this was amazing food. Murdoc never ate so much. Usually being drunk helped to fill him quicker. He hadn't looked at David yet, but he snuck a quick glance. David was eyeing him again, he looked down quickly.

Rachel looked worried and looked at David. She saw him glaring at Murdoc and slapped him lightly on the shoulder, giving him a look. He frowned and looked back down at his food. Rachel looked back at Murdoc.

"Little dove...." she said sadly. Murdoc looked up at her wondering why she was talking like that. He looked from Stu to his mother.

"I tried to make eggs once for Noodle. It had a lot of shells in it but the little girl seemed to like it." He snorted and looked at Stu, "Remember that Stu?"

Stuart watched everyone looking at each other and felt himself a bit nervous. Sometimes Murdoc just talk a lot.... and he doesn’t know what his information have for effect to a family like Stuart's. For Stuart who had everything.

He looked at his mother with a pleading smile. He knew she was worried with Murdoc.... maybe he could talk to her after about that, about Murdoc. He didn’t seem to care about himself but Stuart and apparently his mother cared. A lot. The way she called him little dove was so, Rachel.

Stuart tried to smile "Yeah I do.... after that she learned and taught you Muds......" he said remembering the occasion, they both liked each other, deep inside she cared about Murdoc he could tell.

Maybe the part he told Murdoc about his parents became his.... it wasn’t that hard do happen. His mother was a bit like him.... and he felt happy seeing that. He felt sorry about Murdoc's past too. It was so heartbreaking.... he felt a bit relieved he wasn’t the only one to see that. His father didn’t care at all.

Murdoc laughed, "Yeah, she's pretty smart. Much smarter than us, thank Satan." He took another bite of some eggs. Rachel heard the Satan comment and looked worriedly at David. They knew Murdoc was a Satanist before so they agreed not to pray at the table today, but she didn't know how much he'd appreciate the guy saying Satan. She knew he probably didn't even realize he said it.

Murdoc was nervous, so he just kept talking, "That little bugger though, I passed out once and she drew all over my face." He refrained from mentioning that Stuart had drawn a dick on his face as well. He snorted again, "She's incredibly talented and gifted though."

David let out a ragged sigh, "You were passed out? I can only assume it was from drinking?" He said with disdain. "You're the oldest one there, why are you drinking? Aren't you supposed to be the adult?"

"David!" Rachel hissed. David looked at her and took a deep breath and glared at Murdoc.

"I can't stand that the man who ruined my beautiful sons face is eating with us. He's irresponsible and the both of you are sitting here like he did nothing! He didn't give a shit about Stuart when he'd hit him, how am I supposed to believe he just magically changed?! I need to go." He yelled, getting up and leaving the room before anyone can say anything.

Murdoc looked down, picking at the eggs with his fork. It was quiet a moment longer as they listened to David slam their door upstairs. Murdoc looked up at Rachel, who looked like she was going to cry, it broke his heart. He looked at Stuart.

Stuart flinched at him saying Satan. Okay it was an accident.

When his mother said David he snapped with a "Dad!"

He heard all his father said. He was right.... his anger was understandable. Maybe he should never have brought Murdoc into their home. Why did he always did everything wrong? He bit his lip looking to Murdoc.

He was right. It wasn't a good idea in the end. He looked at his mother "Mom...." He didn't know what to say.... Or to do. He felt bad at his mother crying. He stood up and leaned to give her a big hug.

He thought it was pointless.... his father would hate Murdoc for life. He controlled himself not to cry with his mother. Why the person he fell in love hurt them so much?

Murdoc watched Stuart hug his mother, his breathing picked up and his heart hurting while it started racing. He bit his lip trying to figure out what to do. Drinking was his first thought, but he knew better. This was so incredibly awkward for him, and what made it worse was David was partly right. He'd been a shithead before.

"Murdoc, honey." Murdoc was brought out of his thoughts by a sweet smiling, albeit sad Rachel. "Look, David is just.... having a hard time dealing with this. We know you're trying, we are too. It's just.... for that year.... it was difficult. I think David took it the hardest." Murdoc frowned, his chest aching more. This definitely wasn't helping him.

"But we can tell how much you've changed. You're even wearing Stuart's shirt." She chuckled softly. She remembered him wearing all black with that upside cross, she figured he still did, but it was nice he was trying. She looked at the both of them, standing.

"Let me go talk to David. Stu, honey, why don't you show Murdoc around the house, yeah?" She caressed her son’s cheek and smiled at both of them, before walking up after David. Murdoc looked down at his eggs, afraid to look at Stuart.

Stuart listened to his mother. She was an angel. He thanked each of her words mentally incapable of saying it out loud. The sight of his mother crying broke his heart. But Murdoc was sad too.

He just kissed her forehead and nodded. "I'll show him." he whispered to her hugging her one last time And whispering into her ear "I love you.... Thank you so much, mom...." He would offer him to go there with her but he thought it wasn’t wise.


	24. Parents

He stood up and smiled to Murdoc "Come love...." He whispered fighting hard not to cry. "I'll show you the house...." He told him in a low and calm tone. Murdoc was really nervous but it wasn't his fault. Stuart needed to show him that even if a part of him told him to leave and never come back.

Murdoc looked up at Stuart and nodded, getting up. He kept his mouth shut, biting his lip. His hands had become clammy and cold from the nerves. He'd never felt like this before. He felt like a huge disappointment, something he hadn't felt since his own father. Maybe he just wasn't good with father’s?

He walked over to Stu and gave him a sweet smile, trying to hide his nervousness. "Lead away captain." He said. He was interested in seeing the house at least. It was where Stuart grew up, maybe he could learn a little more about his Bluebird.

Stuart tried to smile to him.... "Follow me sailor...." He joked back but his voice sounded broken. He grabbed his hand noticing it was cold and sweaty.

He would go upstairs to show him his bedroom but his father was there so it was unwise.

Therefore, he decided to go out. He needed some fresh air. Once outside he smiled. His mother kept her gardening. And it was beautiful. "M-my mother always liked flowers, Muds.... unfortunately since I was little I never learnt how to do things well as she did .... " he took the flower he had on his hair burying it next to the others.

"That tree was the one I fell when I tried to climb it... And hit me head." He pointed at it "And my father made this swing for me." It was already old and used but he thought it still worked.

He sighed "I think they sold my old toys.... But...." He frowned for a moment going to the tree And looking in a hole it had on his trunk "No way...." He found a little metal lunch bag covered in dust and mold. He smiled to it.

Murdoc held onto Stuart's hand tightly as he brought him outside. It was gorgeous out in the yard. He listened as Stuart explained how his mother gardened and the tree and the swing. He smiled, imagining the little Stuart playing here. He bet this place was sweet growing up as a kid. His father's house had had zero upkeep and there was no yard, just dirt with a few couple patches of grass and garbage. Stuart's mother was truly amazing.

He knelt down while Stuart was looking at the tree. He looked closer at the flowers, while he lit a smoke, careful not to get any ash near the garden. The cigarette made him feel a little better.

He stood back up and turned to Stuart when he said "No way....". What was Stuart looking at? He walked over to the kid and saw him holding some metal box thing. He looked at Stuart. "What's that?"

"Time capsule" he said with a large smirk "I can't believe it is still here...." he made that a long time ago and his parents didn't find it.

He knelt down to see if stuff were still there. Thankfully they were. There was some tokens from the park. A flower that was already dried and turned into ashes, some papers that had some drawings of him and his family yellowish and looked like a child who did. There was an old bottle of his medicine. An old photo of him and his parents: he was showing his blue hair And his perfect smile with all teeth. They looked fancy "We went to a marriage here, Muds.... I should be I dunno 12 or 13...." He looked at him "See all this fancy clothing? I dropped my coke on it while dancing and my father yelled at me for that...." he chuckled.

In the end he found an old collar it was from his dog.... He passed away when Stuart was little.... that's why he liked so much Cortez, he always liked pets. "Oh I remember Elizabeth.... he chuckled" she was out little dog Muds.... I used to play with her around here she was so beautiful Muds, black and white...." He wiped a single tear placing it back into place.

He sighed. "Look Muds.... I'm sorry for bringing you here today.... I know you didn't have any of these things when little and.... all that happened with my parents..." He placed a hand on his face. "I'm just sorry."

Murdoc listened to Stuart talk about his memories. They sounded like sweet memories, he liked hearing them. He felt like he would have been severely disappointed if Stuart had had a shitty childhood. Kid didn't deserve that. He flicked the ash from his cigarette, listening. He could tell the kid was on the verge of crying again. He put the cigarette in his mouth and place his hand on Stuart's shoulder, rubbing it. Then Stuart started apologizing.

Murdoc smiled at the kid, leaning into the hand on his cheek. He grabbed the cigarette with his fingers. "Why are you sorry? I like hearing about your childhood. It beats the hell out of mine." He flicked his cigarette and shrugged. "And your father's right, unfortunately. I was a fucking shithead to you and them, in turn." He inhaled on the cigarette and breathed out, making little smoke rings. He did that to try to ease the tension in himself, something for fun.

"I just need to prove to him I care about you. He's had no reason to trust me.... It bloody hurts, but I have to prove myself and I plan to do that, even if it takes me my entire life. Thank Satan for your mom, she's an absolute doll." He smiled at Stu. "I'm not going to make you choose between me or your family Stu. I'm a shithead but I'm not that cruel."

Stuart bit his lip strongly while Murdoc made those rings. He pressed his head against his chest. He just wanted everyone happy and he felt he was failing in that. His father's words kept repeating into his head.

He closed his eyes shut. "You already proved me how much you care Muds....much more than you think" He took a deep breath in verge of tears.  "And I can't thank you enough for that...." He opened and wiped his tears "I already chose you.... If my father didn't ask me to be here today I wouldn't have come...." He would be with Murdoc somewhere else not fighting with his family. Or just living his life.

He really didn't know if his mother would manage to talk to his father.... He just curled himself for a while hearing his heartbeat shaking and trying to calm down. "I love you." He whispered. He hugged himself and hoped that she just got better.

Murdoc wrapped his arm around Stuart and rubbed his back. "It hurts but it's okay Stuart. I've been through worse, hell, we've been through worse. We'll be fine. And don't say that you wouldn't come here. Your parents care about you a lot.... take it from me. That's a cool fucking thing you don't want to lose. Hell I was about ready to ask your mom to adopt me." He joked, taking another puff.

"I love you too Stuart. It'll be okay...." he whispered. He felt oddly mature right now but that's what Stuart needed right now, so he'd do it. He just stared out at the garden while Stuart rest his head against his chest.

Stuart's life was so quiet and perfect; Murdoc wondered what the hell drew Stuart to him. Did he want some bad boy because he couldn't do that as a kid? Shouldn't he want some quiet Christian girl? He chuckled at the thought. Instead he wanted the exact opposite. Murdoc considered himself a lucky son of a bitch. He rubbed Stuart's back a little more, hoping he'd cheer up.

"Come on, blueberry. Show me some more stuff. Fuck it. Show me your room. I wanna see where you used to wank it." He teased, ruffling his hair playfully.

He smiled at his idea of Rachel adopting him. It would be nice.... But his father still a problem.

He laughed hearing Murdoc's idea.... unfortunately he was right. He was a wanker when younger. He silently stood up and put the lunch bag back into place. He wondered where Cortez would be by now.... He thought he would try to destroy the garden but he was nowhere to be found.

"All right Muds I'll show you my room...." He chuckled going inside and upstairs with him.

From where they were he could hear his mother talking to his father through the wall but he tried not to pay attention. "Here's my place, Muds.... Or at least it was once... " he chuckled. His parents kept the place just like Stuart remembered even the sheets were clean. He sat down on the bed and looked around.

"Christ sakes David, he's a good kid. He's doing much better than he used to!" Rachel said. "Our son loves him and you can tell he loves Stuart, who cares what happened before!" She was sitting on the bed, watching her husband pace back and forth.

"Am I the only one that seems to care about Stuart's wellbeing?!" David asked her. "That. Man. Ran. A. Fucking. CAR. into Stu! Then he crashed it again!!" He was yelling by the end of it.

Murdoc flinched and looked to Stuart, who looked as if he was trying to ignore it, and doing a piss poor job of it. He looked around quickly for a distraction. He found a cassette tape deck and smiled. He looked at Stuart.

"Stay right here love!" He ran out and down to his Winnie. He heard Cortez caw somewhere. He ran into the Winnie and dug through the glove compartment till he found the cassette he was looking for. He then ran back upstairs, out of breathe. He put the tape in and fiddled with the settings and volume.

Suddenly Led Zeppelin’s 'Stairway to Heaven' started playing. He turned it up so even the soft acoustic guitar drowned out Rachel and David next door. The melodeon flutes started in the song and he smiled at Stuart. He turned and started swaying a bit walking towards the kid on the bed, beaming at him. Then he sang with the song.

"There's a lady who's sure, all that glitters is gold, and she's buying a stairway to heaven. When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed, with a word she can get what she came for. Oh oh oh oh and she's buying a stairway to heaven." He grabbed Stuart's hand and pulled him up to stand. He put held one of his hands while his other hand went to Stuart's waist. He started swaying to the song with the boy while singing to him.

He knew Stuart could sing so much better, but it was such a fun song to dance and sing to, he knew the kid would get a kick out of it. As the song continued to get a little heavier and faster, he sang just a bit louder, moving his whole body with Stuart. He was beaming at him.

When it got to the guitar solo, he pulled Stuart close and swayed and moved a little faster, putting his face close to his, a charming smile on his face. Then he started singing again.

"And as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our soul. There walks a lady we all know! Who shines white light and wants to show how everything still turns to gold, and if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last. When all are one and one is all, to be a rock and not to roll. And she's buying the stairway to heaven." When it got to the end he gave Stuart a big kiss and put his forehead against his, laughing.

"Muds you know you must not run this much at your age......" Stuart teased clearly trying to ignore his parents. The singer lift a brow seeing the old thing still worked. He smiled.

When Murdoc grabbed him to "dance" he couldn't believe and let out a soft giggle.... Murdoc was really an amazing person.... Stuart couldn't stop smiling. He followed where his boyfriend went and sang with him some parts mesmerized about how Murdoc was really singing. It was only for him into his old bedroom.... that was really cool. In the last parts he was swaying and singing the lyrics louder like Robert Pot would do.

By the end he just stopped and looked at him. He returned the kiss with a big smile and wrapped his arms around Murdoc laughing. He leaned closer his ear "have I ever told you how I love your laugh....?"

Soon he lifted the bassist turning him around "God Mu’doc you sing so well.... I don't know why you're not the front man of Gorillaz...." He joked but he was really happy now.... thanks to Murdoc.

He placed Murdoc on the floor "We should perform this song in a show any day...." He told him panting. He really forget about his parents for a moment "Happy you discover that was here where I wank it?" He laughed again pressing his forehead against him "Mu’doc you're the best...." He whispered closing his eyes.

Cortez appeared by the window to join the both man. "And you too Cortez I wish you could have met Elizabeth you'd have liked her...."

Murdoc smiled when he said he loved his laugh. Then was surprised when the singer lifted him up, letting out another chuckle. The kid was lucky Murdoc was smaller than he was.

"Because I'm not good looking like you, and I don't sing well. You're just in love with me so you think I sound better than I do. I'm pretty rough." He admitted, rolling out his r slightly at the end there and chuckled. He was glad you could get him to forget a minute, plus he couldn't hear them anymore either.

He brought his hand up and caressed the singer’s cheek when he said he was the best. His ego always loved to hear that. "And don't you forget it, you little wanker." He laughed, then he heard the loud screech at the window.

"I dunno if he'd like a dog...." Murdoc said, thinking. He'd never seen Cortez interact with a dog that he could remember. "I think he's just jealous of all the time I spend with you. You two are pretty close now." He joked. He's happy the two like each other.

He turned back to Stuart, hand still on cheek. "I do love you Stuart Pot. Don't forget it, yeah? No matter what...." he whispered. He really hoped he could get a second chance to talk to his father.

He blushed. Yeah he was right he was really in love with him "You sound like David bowie.... should try him anytime" he blinked to Murdoc. That was another compliment in a way.

"Never thought that my age I would have a crow who's jealous of me...." He chuckled. He nuzzled his face on his hand and kissed it "never...." He repeated kissing his forehead. He knew it would be difficult for Murdoc interact with his family but we'll.... families Are difficult in the end. He wouldn't let this ruin their bond.

Soon he let go of Murdoc going to his old wardrobe.... maybe inside there was another stuff that could bring memories. He opened it and laughed.... his baby and toddler clothes were still there...... his mother for some reason didn't get rid of them. He looked through them and a little smile came to his lips.... "I can't quite remember when I was this age. . But my mother seemed that she misses it...." He told Murdoc in a low tone. "I thought they would have another kid once I was gone, Muds...." He confessed. "With all this they definitely could...."

He looked inside a bit more and found his first keyboard "Jesus.... this is so old.... does it still work?" He asked no one in especial. When younger he didn't sing but already played. He placed it on the bed.

He looked inside again and this time he laughed. For some reason his parents kept his badge from Uncle Norm's. He showed Murdoc "See? My first job, Stuart pot before fame just for you...." He chuckled giving him it. Stuart was with his bright smile blue eyes and blue hair in the photo of it. They should have taken the day of the accident.

Inside there was a painting.... He took a look at it "Muds.... when I was younger I liked to paint too.... It was something.... safe that my parents allow me to do...." after that he learned how to graffiti. He looked at the landscape and smiled, it was a draw from the back yard of the house with little Elizabeth in it. "They were just nervous that I would eat the paint or something and get intoxicated “He laughed shaking his head.... "I think I'll bring this home...." He told him with a smile. Maybe he could paint something for Murdoc any time.... a draw of him.

There were another things there, old notebooks, a pacifier, his milk-tooth that he asked Murdoc if it fit to put back in the place where his ones were missing, joking.  There were even an old pair of glasses that he tried to use. His blue eyes were sensible and he had a bad vision. Well now he had an even worse one but he didn't care.... He could still read the tablature sing and play. But when he put the glasses his eyes became even bigger. He laughed and put it aside.

He sat down on the bed trying to make the keyboard work.... "See if you find something there interesting, Muds...." He chuckled looking at him.

"Ha! Like I could get close to David Bowie." He snorted as Stuart nuzzled his hand. He smiled as the kid walked to his closet. He decided to look around his room. It was an average teenage boys room really, maybe a lot more keyboards and such. He forgot how Stuart's style was more punk based than his, it really showed in his room.

Murdoc looked at Stuart looking at baby clothes. "Probably best they didn't, having a sibling sucks." He chuckled, remembering his brother when he was younger. That kid was just as much a nightmare as he was himself. He tried to imagine Stuart helping with a baby. He imagined he would actually be a fun brother, not the safest as he was fairly clumsy and forgetful, but fun. He was doing a pretty good job with Noodle.

Murdoc was brought out of his thoughts by the badge Stu brought out from his old job. He took it and inspected it a little more. He remembered well how Stuart had looked that day he hit him, he didn't know this fully blue eyed kid with a happy grin. He knew the half black eyed, comatose kid, missing a tooth. He suddenly got flashbacks of when he'd gotten out of the car after crashing into that window. He remembered how he went to look at the boy he'd hit, laughing and telling him what poor luck he had that day. He clenched his jaw and swallowed, putting the badge down.

He looked at Stu when he was joking with his teeth, bringing him away from his thoughts. He gave him a small chuckle and a smile. When he tried on the glasses, he started laughing. When he put them aside and went to the bed, Murdoc grabbed them and put them on. They made everything blurry.

"Christ, Stu. How bad is your eyesight?! You drove us here!" He laughed and turned to look at him. He saw a blurry Stu. His eyes must be even worse now. He put them down and rubbed his eyes.

He listened and noticed that Rachel and David weren't talking on the other side of the wall. Maybe they'd left the room or something? He shrugged and turned back to the closet. He started looking at his old clothes. A lot of school uniforms and some similar clothes he wore now.

"I'd like to see you in this?" He pulled out one of the nicer uniforms and looked at Stuart, giving him a wink. "Although.... you'd probably look good in a girls uniform too." He snorted and imagined Stu in a skirt, sounded kind of hot. He shook his head, he didn't need to get himself worked up here at his parent’s house.

"I dunno Muds.... I never did sight tests after quitting my glasses" he shrugged. He should have done for his driver's license.... But anyway. He wasn't able to make his keyboard work.... too many years. It was so tiny for his hands right now He couldn't even play.

He blushed hard at his next comment "well.... I think I can provide you this...." He smiled to him ashamed "Even If I think they don't sell girl's uniform my size...." He looked at his keyboard embarrassed "I already tried my mom's clothes once, Muds.... and make up.... she said my eyes were beautiful with eye shadow...." He confessed rubbing the back of his neck "I didn't have many friends as you see...." He chuckled nervously. Maybe Rachel already knew Stuart wasn't as straight as she thought he was. And that should be the reason why he let Noodle make up and do his hair whenever she wanted.

He shifted position in bed and the mattress made a noise. Now he blushed even more from his forehead his shoulders and turned himself looking under it.... Okay his parents didn't find them.... there were a lot of adult magazines under his matters.... if David found that he would freak out. He was really a little wanker when younger.

Besides that he found his asthma pump.... so he pretended that he didn't find anything censurable under there with a fake smile "look I used to have asthma too Muds.... thank God I healed myself...." He chuckled nervously again hoping he wouldn't try to see what he was hiding under there.

He placed the painting and his keyboard aside and Cortez came to land on them tilting his head curiously.

Murdoc snorted, "Why are you embarrassed? I've worn makeup and women's clothes before." He shrugged, thinking back to the old days with his old band. He almost had a hair metal look, heals with makeup. That was the thing then.

"Plus, your already a pretty boy, I'm make makeup just enhances all of.... that" he gestured to Stuart's handsome face and winked at him. He noticed Stuart look at his mattress and saw him blush. He smirked. He knew what that look was for.

He chuckled when the kid pulled out the thing for his asthma, trying to deter Murdoc from noticing his blush. He walked over to Stuart and stood in front of him looking down at him, smiling slyly. He grabbed the inhaler from Stu and tossed onto his dresser, out of the way. He leaned over, close to Stu, a shit eating grin now on his face.

"Whatchya got under there Stu? Show uncle Mudz." He laughed.

The sight of himself wearing a red lipstick in a skirt for Murdoc made him blush even more....It was something he would be pleased in doing, maybe with something black and lacy under... knee length socks and a thong.... heels.... no too clumsy for that....

No, no it wasn’t the time to think about that. He shifted in place allowing Murdoc to see what was under the mattress hiding his face with his hands. He felt a bit overwhelmed, but if he wasn’t in their parents’ home and the bloody door opened he would have attacked Murdoc right there. Why didn’t his parents get rid of that?

Even Cortez leaned closer them wanting to know what he was hiding.

Murdoc saw the boy nervously look at the door, he chuckled and walked over to close it. He then walked back and grabbed one of the magazines under his mattress. The cover was a girl, half-naked sitting in a lewd pose. When he flipped through the pages, it had nothing but fully naked women. He gave a whistle.

"Damn, Stu. Lucky your parents didn't see these. He gave a nasally laugh, slowly flipping through. He remembered when he had magazines like this.... or his brother did, he just stole them.

"Just s-stop teasing and help me get rid of those before they come......" he said still red and hiding his face. They already have a big problem to have two. Stuart stole those too from "friends" in the school; they were so old they were tearing apart already.

"Think now you know all I am and was...... I'm like an open book to you Muds...." he told him with a smile. He was happy Murdoc didn’t mock the person he was or the feelings he has.... and he knew for sure that about Murdoc he would never be allowed to know it all.

He grabbed the magazines and placed aside. Cortez began tearing it apart with his beak and Stuart sighed.

"Besides what is into these magazines don’t give me boners anymore since I'm with you...." he uncovered his face looking at him. It was another compliment.

Murdoc laughed, "Fine, I can help you get rid of them." He continued to flip through another magazine. They definitely looked like they got their fair share of use. The thought just made him laugh.

"Yeah, I can understand why you wouldn't get a stiff from any of these. Why would you when you have all of this?" He posed in a playful seductive manner like one of the women in the magazine. He stuck his tongue out playfully. Then he struck another pose, displaying himself playfully for Stuart, laughing.

He took the magazines from his hands before he noticed some pages were.... sticky.... that would be a shame. He frowned.

Stuart laughed. "Put on a bikini and you'll be just perfect to be a centerfold Muds.... fans would love that" he told him a little less nervous. "I could take pictures of you like that to keep with me for my lonely moments...." he shrugged joking dramatically. It was no new Stuart was really attracted by body too. He stood up and wrapped his arms around his waist when he was posing....

"Thank God all this is only mine.... how lucky I am...?" he chuckled, not bothering about stroking his ego. He really liked to know that since he came back from Mexico Murdoc was all his. Body and, maybe soul. He looked deep into his eyes for a moment as the door was closed.

Murdoc laughed, "I would just wear my thong." He winked at Stuart again. And you can take all the pictures you want Stu. I do look pretty damn amazing." He said confidently, joking only a little. He smiled when Stu wrapped his arms around his waist. Smiling even more when Stu said he was lucky.

"You are lucky. I got some good moves too, I could make it big as a porn star." He chuckled, letting his ego grow, he didn't care. When Stuart leaned close and looked into his eyes, he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and brought him down for a kiss, falling back onto the bed with Stu on top of him. The door was closed, Stuart shouldn't care right?

"Porn star, huh? I'm sorry but only I am allowed to see you naked or shag....I don’t like sharing, Mu’doc." he chuckled but said in a serious tone. He knew Murdoc's ego size was much bigger than that house.

"Muds" he broke the kiss "I'd really like to make out with you, tear the shirt you're using that’s mine, in two and blow you here right now...." he told him with a smirk "But we're in my parents’ home and they're a wall away from us.... so behave okay?" He told him smiling and going off him combing his hair and calming down. He adjusted his pants to hide his hard on.

"I know I'm irresistible but control yourself and we'll have plenty of time to enjoy ourselves after we leave here...." he told him winking wondering if they managed to talk.

Murdoc laughed, "Fine you and I will make our own porn, yeah?" He let go of Stuart's shirt after stealing another quick kiss. 

Murdoc sighed dramatically when Stuart stopped him. "Aargh, fine! Fine! I'll behave love. And you are irresistible. I'd bend you over right here if I didn't think your dad would kill me and your mom would cry." He laid back, laughing and trying to calm himself down.

After about 5 minutes there was a knock on the door. "Stu, honey? Can we talk to you boys?" Rachel said through the door. "Meet us downstairs in the living room please." She then left. Murdoc looked at Stu.

"God you're a drama queen...." he laughed and snorted. That bed was really soft and the sheets were so clean they could definitely fuck there. Make a porno themselves.

Stuart quickly grabbed his stuff and waved goodbye to Cortez. He placed his NSFW magazines between the paint and keyboard to hide. "Let's go there, Muds.... we figure this out and we may leave......" he told him confidently. "Let's not make them angry or crying again...." he chuckled.

Before leaving he pulled him close by his collar kissing him deeply biting his lip in the end of the kiss "No matter what happens, I still love you...." he told him with a smile expecting the worst already. He opened the door and started going downstairs as his mother asked.

Murdoc watched as Stu hid the dirty magazines in a panic, laughing. Stu kissed him and bit his lip, which didn't help him lose his hard on he was just getting rid of. The kid seemed nervous, rightfully so. He nodded and followed.

"Yeah yeah, me too." He tried to play it off so maybe Stu wouldn't be so nervous. He grabbed his hand and squeezed slightly to reassure him before letting go and entering the living room with him.

David and Rachel were sitting on the couch, David was looking out the window, ignoring the boys while Rachel was smiling sweetly at them.

"Did you like the house, Murdoc?" Rachel asked, looking at him. Murdoc nodded.

"It's beautiful. That garden is impressive and so beautiful." He smiled and she giggled happily.

"Oh, little dove, thank you! It sounded as if you guys were having fun in Stuart's room, we walked by when you boys were dancing." She giggled a little more. "You boys didn't see us. You've got quite the voice little dove." She said to Murdoc. He blushed and looked at Stuart.

Stuart blushed even more.... well it was much better than hear that they were making out or seeing naked girls in centerfold.

"It was Muds' idea, I didn’t even know that tape record still worked...." he rubbed the back of his neck sitting on the couch with Murdoc, noticing his avoidable father.

He smiled fondly to Murdoc, even his mother liked his voice, it was really kind of her. "I saw how you guys kept my stuff here.... it’s really touching, thank you......" he didn’t know what to say about their parents choices exactly, but due to them he was able to show Murdoc a bit about his life.

He placed the things he brought on his lap, hiding the magazines like his life depended on that... "So what you wanna talk about......?" he encouraged never letting go of Murdoc's hand.

"Of course we'd keep it sweetie. You're our boy and we love you so much." His mother beamed. She looked at her husband, when he hadn't even said anything yet. She nudged him and whispered something to him.

David finally sighed and looked up at the boys, staring at them for a moment. "Stuart.... I'm sorry for how I've been acting today. I've come to realize now that you truly like Murdoc and he isn't holding you hostage or something."

"David!" Rachel hissed and David just rolled his eyes.

"Look Stuart, before you say anything just listen. You are my only son. I may have not always been around to help raise you because of my job, but that doesn't mean I don't love you any less. You and your mother are the biggest things I'm most proud of in my life and cherish the most. You need to understand why I was so hesitant with Murdoc." Murdoc felt slightly awkward. David has barely looked at him and made this appear to be a family meeting, acting as if Murdoc wasn't there. Suddenly David looked at him.

"Murdoc. You hurt my son, my only son. You have no idea what it's like to raise a human being and suddenly have them hurt right in front of your eyes and you can't do a single thing about it." Murdoc gulped as David sniffled a bit, his chest hurting again. This did not sound like it was going in his favor. Even Rachel was looking a little teary eyed.

"For a year, I had to give my son to you, to take care of him. That was not what any of us wanted. I know you did not care about him at all. You even got him in another accident. He, thankfully, woke up, but that accident shouldn't have happened in the first place. His beautiful blue eyes are gone. His migraines are worse, he's missing teeth and you didn't care." Murdoc could only stare at David as he looked him in the eye, and telling him the harsh reality. He was paralyzed and feeling as guilty as ever.

"Now," David said hesitantly. "I've seen how my son is with you and how you are with him. You.... have changed, I'll admit it. You seem to genuinely care for my son. Fine. That's perfectly fine. I'm not going to try to pull you apart now and hurt Stuart. I'm just telling you now Murdoc.... hurt him again and I will hunt you down myself." He was piercing Murdoc with his eyes. Murdoc slowly nodded and cleared his throat.

"I wouldn't dream of it." He whispered. "I do love Stuart. I don't honestly know how this happened.... but it's true. A-and.... I am really sorry. I try to apologize all the time to Stuart.... I know the kid forgives me too easily.... but I do hope to actually earn it someday.... and yours" he looked down. This was so hard for him. He would kill for a drink.

Again hostage? God, Russel told him the same.... will someday Stuart really be held hostage? No he shook his head to this thoughts.

He listened to his dad, his chest warming a bit knowing that he didn’t think he was a total waste of time and space. That he was actually proud of him.

He listened what he had to tell to Murdoc, totally teary eyed and Stuart knew he was right.... Murdoc took a lot of things from him. It was just painful to hear. It hurt to hear that Murdoc didn’t actually took care of him, or that he didn’t like taking care of him. He felt like a burden.... but it was Murdoc's fault both accidents. He shook a little thinking about that.

"Dad...." He whispered trying to not sound broken "I.... don’t know either what’s the feeling of almost losing a son...." he thought about Noodle, if something one day happened to her ‘cuz of Murdoc...... God it would be difficult for him to forgive the Satanist.

"But.... I know how i suffered and how I made you both suffer......" he squeezed his hand "Thank you for not trying to pull us apart.... He's really trying.... I mean that and recognize everything he did for me.... the bad things and the good ones.... And If he's here today facing you both is ‘cuz he cares.... He's doing all this for me.... And I'm really proud to be with him......" Murdoc wasn’t even drunk. He looked at Rachel.

 "Mom thank you so much for treating Murdoc so well, he didn’t have a mother or a family so it means a lot to me.... you're my queen. And dad, Thanks for all your protection and concern.... I promise I'll take care of myself, Muds will take care of me.... We have.... we have a little girl to raise too...." his eyes shone with tears. "Thank you for support.... and love... I really love you both...." he smiled and looked at Murdoc "I love you too...." he whispered.

If someday Murdoc hurt him he would deal with that...... it was a risk, Murdoc was totally unpredictable so it was his choice facing the consequences.


	25. Back home

"Oh honey." Murdoc's mom said with a choked sob, getting up and walking over. She wrapped her arms around both boys, crying. Murdoc was more than uncomfortable; he was beginning to get overwhelmed. He was used to these feeling and didn't know how to handle them. He was beginning to hyperventilate and shake slightly.

Rachel let go over Stuart and gave him a giant hug then places her hands on his cheeks gently, smiling at him sweetly. She brushed one of her hands over his forehead to swipe his bangs away. He tried to steady himself, making sure not to flinch or pull away.

"Murdoc, little dove. I know you'll take good care of my boy. If you ever need anything we'll be here for you okay?" She kissed his forehead and he nodded slowly, she gave him another hug. He felt as if he was in the twilight zone, this was so foreign to him.

He saw David get up from where he was seated. He panicked slightly and tensed. "Honey, leave the guy alone, you're freaking him out." David said. Rachel nodded, stood back up, smiling and teary-eyed. Murdoc contemplated running for a second, as David walked up to him. He studied Murdoc for a moment, who stared back at him, unsure of what the man was going to do.

He held out his hand suddenly. Murdoc looked from his hand back to David. He slowly grabbed his hand and David shook it, firmly.

"This time I mean it." David said. Murdoc just gave a small smile and nodded, relieved.

Stuart watched his parents interacting with Murdoc, okay now he would definitely need a drink after all that one thing was dealing with Stuart's sweetness another was with his whole family.

He wiped his tears for the tenth time that day and stood up with Murdoc. "Mom, dad.... I think we need to go...." He told them the soft he could.... Murdoc was really uncomfortable and they needed to drive all the way home still.

"I'm glad we had all this conversation and.... I hope we come back other times when we have a day free or two...." He knew they would come back in a while.... now they needed to focus in the videos and recording. It was already enough for a day.

Murdoc stood with Stuart. He didn't know what to say, he was blown away at what just happened. He thought he'd be leaving here upset with a crying Stuart. It turned out better than he thought, even if Stuart was still crying.

David and Rachel nodded and agreed. They told the two to come back again soon. Rachel gave Murdoc another but hug, Murdoc giving one back, enjoying a hug from the closest person he would ever consider close to a mother figure for him. She looked at him after the hug, brushing his hair from his eyes again.

"When you come again, I'd like to have more one on one time with you, okay little dove?" Murdoc just nodded and smiled.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you." He said. He nodded to David and walked into the Winnie with Stuart, collapsing into the passenger seat with a loud sigh. He finally felt like he could relax.

"Holy fuck...." he breathed, going over what just happened.

Stuart just smiled to him.... "Now we can go home, Muds.... And you can rest. Hope this wasn't a traumatizing experience in the end." Stuart sat on the driver's after placing his stuff on the bed together with his stuffed animals.

"I may drive us home." He told him with his sweetest smile "You just have to call Cortez back...." He kissed his forehead "You made me the happiest man on earth...." He whispered and chuckled. Now he was able to relax drink do whatever he wanted.

Murdoc just gave him a small smile and a nod. He was beyond exhausted and tense at this point. He leaned over to the window, opening it. He whistled and heard the screech from behind the house. He watched as he flew over the house and into the Winnie through the window. He landed on Stuart's headrest and looked all around. Murdoc frowned.

"What the hell bird? Why are you on his headrest? You're my bird, you twit!" He glared at the bird, until it cawed at him and started running his beak through Stuart's blue hair. Then he gave a chuckle.

"Yeah I like his hair too, I don't blame you." He put his head back and closed his eyes. Then he brought his hands up and rubbed his eyes. Holy hell he felt tense and still slightly overwhelmed. He took a couple deep breathes. He was so happy to have made Stuart happy. It'd gone as best as possibly honestly. He's happy the singer hustled them out quickly so they could head back.

"Okay, captain. Let’s go!" He said enthusiastically, eyes still closed.

Stuart flinched when the bird came to his headrest. He was scared at first but then he didn't mind anymore. He really liked him and the sight of Murdoc jealous was just too nice.

He chuckled "Let’s, sailor...." He said turning on the engine with the bird cawing behind his head. "You can sleep on the bed if you're tired Muds.... I think I know how to go home...." He told him softly eyes on the road.

He felt happier and lighter but he knew it was a bit too much to Murdoc. He began thinking how he could thank Murdoc properly after his big effort. The felt on cloud 9 still and caressed his hair gently.

Murdoc smiled and just relaxed a bit. "I'll sleep here if I do. That way if you need me you can just wake me up." He stretched a bit and leaned against the window, staring out of it for a while, till his eyelids got too heavy. He fell asleep fairly quickly.

He jolted awake when Stuart came to a stop in front of Kong studios and Cortez cawed. He blinked a few times, trying to wake up. He looked over at Stu lazily.

"Are we here?" He grunted, his voice a little rougher from being asleep. He yawned and stretched, sitting forward a bit and rubbing his eyes. He had slept harder than he thought he would. He had had a few dreams about Stu but he couldn't remember what they were.

"Yeah here we are...." Stuart told him with a smile, he loved his waking up voice "I said I could do it...." the singer just sang and concentrated not to fell asleep all the way back to Essex. Even Cortez slept a bit on the way.

He chuckled "C'mon let's go inside...." He said yawning and grabbing his stuff getting rid of his magazines.

He leaned closer Murdoc giving his a sweet smile, "Hope you have rested, love" He whispered kissing his forehead again. He was curious to know how things were inside Kong while they were away

Murdoc slowly got up, his joints cracking. He sighed and followed Stuart inside, another yawn escaping him. When they walked inside, they noticed a loud bass beat playing loudly in one of the rooms, upstairs. Murdoc lifted an eyebrow in curiosity.

He followed it and, as they got closer, they found it was the beat to their Dare song. It was coming from Noodle's room. Noodle's door was open, so he peaked his head in. Noodle was dancing and singing along to her own song. She looked like she was having a blast. Russel was asleep on the floor, she was mindful of not stepping on him. Murdoc smiled and looked at Stuart.

Stuart just raised a brow to what was happening not understanding much.

He decided to open the door a bit to tell her they were home.... Maybe him disturbing and not Murdoc was a good idea.

He waved hoping the girl would see him and answered as the music was really loud and he didn't want to yell.

Noodle finally saw Stuart and smiled at him, going to turn the music off. "2D, you are alive!" She yelled happily. She noticed Murdoc and laughed. Russel woke up looking around groggily. He saw the two guys and waved with a yawn.

"Hey guys. How'd your lovers get away go?" He chuckled and Noodle giggled, still jumping up and down a little.

Murdoc growled, "None of your business. And why are you so jumpy Noods?" He watched the girl bounce and dance around. Russel laughed.

"We've been eating nothing but junk the last day. I crashed." He yawned again. Murdoc rolled his eyes, the kid was on a sugar high.

"Damn Murdoc, I thought you'd be in a good mood after getting away with your lover." Russel teased him. Murdoc blushed, so the teasing began. Murdoc wasn't going to deal with that.

"Sod off!" He yelled as he left the room, leaving Stu with the other two. He walked to the living room and flopped on the couch to try to stretch out and relax a bit. He figured Stu would talk to the other two about their adventure, he'd dealt with enough today. He only wanted to hang out with Stuart.

Stuart shook his head.... "Don’t mind him Russ.... He's just tired and grumpy like always I had to drive all the way here...." He explained seeing Noodle jumping like a ball.

"I suggested that we go to my father’s funfair.... And he had a blast there.... until he appeared." He looked down "But then we talked and he invited us to go to my parents’ house...." He smiled "We went there the following morning so he talked to my parents apologized and told them we were dating...." Stuart told both of them excited. "He really changed guys and even surprised me.... My parents apparently forgave him for what he had done to me.... And we're cool...." He beamed "We'll come back there anytime we have a day off...." He explained suppressing some parts that he thought weren't important.

"So yeah Russ we had a good time while there.... And as I can see you had too...." he told softly "I'm almost healed to record Dirty Harry.... no new marks...." He chuckled.

Noodle bounced and smiled, "Wow, Murdoc must really like 2D, yes?" Russel chuckled to the question, as Noodle walked up to 2D, observing his neck where the hickeys would be gone by tomorrow.

"I'm impressed by Muds, I gotta say." Russel nodded and looked at 2D. "I can't believe he actually talked to your parents. I suppose he has changed. Well.... it's odd.... but I am happy for ya D." Russel said, slowly getting up and yawning. Noodle seemed to be the only one with an overabundance of energy at the moment.

Meanwhile, Murdoc heard the phone ring. He growled and got up to answer it. "What do you want?" He growled into the phone.

"Murdoc?" He heard a family voice on the other side. He sighed.

"Christ Jimmy, what do you want?"

"You know what I want Murdoc! I've been trying to get a hold of you for the last three days. You said I'd be able to take the guitar spot soon, get that child out of there. It should be MY spot." Jimmy argued. Murdoc just shook his head and rolled his eyes. He'd been trying to deal with this guy for a while now, and he wasn't in the mood now. Jimmy wouldn't take no for an answer so Murdoc had started lying to him, but he needed an actual plan soon.

"Look, Jimmy. Noodle's our guitarist. We aren't replacing her, so fuck off." He said, exhausted. He decided the truth would be best. There was silence for a moment.

"No. No Murdoc, I'm not going to fuck off. I didn't want to resort to this but if you don't take me as guitarist, I will ruin you." He threatened. Murdoc rolled his eyes again.

"Mate, I'm already ruined, go ahead and try." He didn't care about this argument anymore. He was over it.

"I don't think you understand Murdoc. I won't ruin just you. I'm talking about your band. If you won't get rid of that girl, I will." He threatened. Murdoc's eyes widened, Jimmy sounded more serious than he was comfortable letting slide.

"What the hell are you-" he was cut off.

"Think about it Murdoc. I'll call you in a few days. Be ready with an answer!" Jimmy yelled into the phone and hung up. Murdoc was left standing there speechless.

Stuart smiled to them "I know.... isn't that amazing....? I'm over the moon with all that...." He chuckled totally away from Murdoc's talking. "I'm gonna check on him guys...."He told then with a smile believing things are gonna go just better from now on....

He decided to see if Murdoc was in a better mood than he left the room. "Oi Muds..." He noticed he was a bit pale "is everything okay....?" He whispered sitting next to him "You look like you've seen a ghost...." He tried to joke.

Murdoc jumped slightly when Stuart came in. He looked at him and quickly snapped out of it. "Uh, yeah.... just some wanker prank calling me." He tried to laugh convincingly. He was worried, he wouldn't lie. This guy wasn't someone he would trust to not do anything. He didn't want Noodle hurt over this. He had to think of an idea.... soon.

He smiled at Stu, not wanting to worry him. "I think I'm just tired Stu. Really. Well.... not really tired, just emotionally drained. I think I experienced more emotions in the last 24 hours than I have in the near 40 years I've been alive." He sighed and leaned on Stuart's shoulder, nuzzling into his neck.

Stuart chuckled clearly not seeing the nervousness was prevenient from another issue that didn't involve just feelings.

"I told them about the trip.... don't worry about that.... they're happy for us. And I really loved that we travelled together " he smiled warmly confessing. He placed a hand on his hair caressing it. "Want me to leave you resting a bit, love...?" He asked hugging him. He had his things to take care of still.

Murdoc nuzzled into him more, wrapping his arms around Stu. "Thanks Stu.... if you want." He didn't know what he wanted to do right now, he was feeling a little lost. He needed to think of a plan, so it was probably best he let Stu go do his things and he contemplate alone for a while.

He looked up and kissed Stu softly. "Want to chill out together in a bit?" He asked looking into his black eyes, noticing the hint of red.

"Of course!" He said excitedly with a smile. Stuart didn't bother leaving him alone or that he didn't want to share what was annoying him. "We can do whatever we want.... it's still out day off...." He chuckled.

 "So I meet you here in a bit....?" He asked softly placing a hand on his face.

Murdoc nodded and gave Stuart's one more quick squeeze before letting go. He smiled at him and leaned into his hand. "Thanks love." He laid back down on the couch, laying down over the entire thing.

He suddenly felt a little sick. He needed to think of something quick. If he was threatening Noodle, HIS guitarist, then something had to be done. He closed his eyes. He to get rid of him quickly. Murdoc wasn't apposed to killing someone, especially if it meant saving his band.

Before leaving Stuart let him a last affectionate kiss on the forehead.

He went quickly to the Winnie to grab the rest of his stuff that he left there. He needed to take the Both stuffed animals his keyboard the painting and the photos they took at the fun fair to his room and put everything in place.

Once on his bedroom he placed Johnnie and Paul on his bed, the paint on his night stand and he glued the photos on his wall next to his posters with a laugh. He wanted to show everyone who entered the room him and his boyfriend. He didn’t care if Murdoc wouldn’t agree with that. He carefully wrote "1st time in a funfair, me and Muds" He would never forget that day.

Soon he laid down on his bed with his new friends thinking about the last 2 days.... that were amazing for him. And couldn't help think about what was making Murdoc nervous.... was that him? His parents? The whole trip? The next recordings? Or something else? Without noticing he fell asleep with all these thoughts hugging his teddy. He was tired after driving 2 hours straight.

Murdoc has somehow fallen into a very restless sleep. He had decided accept Jimmy's offer to make sure Noodle doesn't get hurt and see where to go from there. When he decided to get up, he thought about Stuart and if he should tell him. He contemplated it for a while actually, but ultimately decided against it. He knew Stuart would worry and possibly tell Noodle and Russ and mess the whole thing up. No. He would take care of it. No one threatened his band.

He stood up and stretched, looking at the clock. It looks like he'd been on the couch for a few hours. He rubbed his eyes and decided to go look for Stuart.

As he walked through Kong, he felt more paranoid than normal. He felt like he needed to go check on Noodle. He took a quick detour to her room and put his ear against the door. He didn't hear anything. He slowly opened it and found her and Russel asleep. She finally wore herself out. He felt a little relief and decided to go find Stu.

He checked his Winnie and didn't find him, he tried his room next. The guy was sleeping with those stuffed animals. Murdoc chuckled quietly and decided to lay next to him till he woke up. He noticed the pictures on the wall and laughed quietly. The kid wouldn't let him live that photo of him screaming and hugging Stuart down.

He laid down gently next to him so as not to wake him. He wrapped his arm around him and pulled him close. He kissed his head and smiled. He could be as sweet as he wanted to Stuart without him or anyone knowing while he was asleep.

Stuart mumbled some nonsense still asleep but probably dreaming. Soon he let go of his big teddy looking for Murdoc. He found the Satanist next to him and cuddled on him. He kissed his neck whispering "Muds...." And nuzzled his face on his chest. He didn't know what time was that.... all he could think was Murdoc.

He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. Even being so little time apart he missed the bassist. He just hoped He was better now than before. The singer lifted his head and looked for his mouth kissing it passionately. Still half sleeping, half-awake. He cupped his face and deepened the kiss.

Murdoc laughed as Stuart kissed him still half asleep. He wasn't sure if the kid thought he was in a dream of not. He didn't care either way, he still loved the kiss. He kissed back passionately.

He ran his hands through Stuart's blue hair. It was still so goddamn soft. How'd he get it so soft? He loved how the singer pulled him close. He was shorter so he fit with him perfectly. He entangled his legs in Stuart's ridiculously long legs.

Stuart smiled into the kiss. He loved hearing his laugh.... it meant Murdoc was comfortable with him. He purred to his hand on his hair.

Soon his hand went from his face to his arm rubbing it and going slowly down to grab his wrist. He guided his hand between his legs, right on his tent.... "I was dreaming of you...." he chuckled with half opened eyes and a big smile. That was the truth he had a boner while thinking about the Satanist.

Since the hour he began thinking about wearing a girl’s uniform for Murdoc, he couldn’t help but think about sex as well. He just hoped Murdoc was on the mood.

Murdoc's eyes widened as did his smile, he gave a little chuckle and started rubbing him through his pants. The singer had no idea how much he wanted this. How much he needed it. 2D's smile only made him want it more. He loved that smile.

He stuck his tongue into Stuart's mouth greedily, playing with his tongue. He pressed himself up against one of Stuart's legs that was between his thighs, moaning slightly into his mouth.

Stuart smiled seeing Murdoc was on the mood, like always. he opened his mouth to allow the Satanist to kiss him and shifted position going on him pinning his both arms on the sides of his head and pressing his hips against him. He even shivered and moaned when he rubbed his erection against Murdoc's.

"I missed you...." he whispered into his ear going to his neck to kiss him tenderly not to leave any mark. he nibbled his earlobe letting go of his hands "Please touch me...." he whispered again closing his eyes totally on him.

Murdoc moaned and chuckled when the singer pinned him and pushed against him. Murdoc loved it, he loved that he could drive the singer wild.

He gave another chuckle when the singer said he missed him. "I was only away from you for a few hours Stu." He shivered as Stuart nibbled his earlobe; his ears were a sensitive part of him.

When Stuart asked Murdoc to touch him, he beamed and suddenly rolled them both over so Murdoc was on top of Stuart. He kissed him again, while his hands went down and under his shirt. He slowly ran them up to Stuart's chest until he reached his nipples.

He started playing with them, pinching them. When he did that, he slowly moved to kissing Stuart's jaw, then down to his neck. He didn't bite or suck on any of the spots, just gently kissed him, working his way down.

While doing this, his hips kept pressing into Stuart's. This elicited small little moans and grunts from the bassist. His jeans were becoming uncomfortable and he wanted nothing more than to rip them off.

"Doesn’t matter, Muds...." he chuckled "I'm addicted to you...." he confessed.

Stuart giggled a bit when he received those light kisses. It tickles. He liked them very much but was more used to the rough ones and his bites.... he was actually missing a lot being marked but just for now he could wait. He moaned feeling his nipples being squeezed.

He looked down staring into his eyes hungrily. He wanted to do as he was doing in his dream. He smirked and quickly pulled his shirt up taking it off and kissing him passionately while working on unbuckle his pants.

Murdoc laughed again as he started pulling off his shirt and working at his pants. "Holy shit Stuart, you really want this don't you?" He teased. He was a little surprised considering the singer had just woken up.

"What kind of dream did you have?" He pinched Stuart's nipples a little harder, hoping to get him to moan more. He pushed his hips against his again, grunting a bit himself. This kid drove him crazy, he'd never felt like this before.

Stuart chuckled.... "Want me to go slower, Muds....?" he whispered "I dreamed about you and me fucking at the funfair...." he stopped looking down blushing. "It felt so real that when you came I couldn’t hold myself...." he blushed even more.

He looked at him for a moment when he pinched his nipples. He choked a moan and his cock twitched into his pants. "I want you.... I think.... I never wanted anyone in my life as much as I want you, Mu’doc...." he swallowed hard. His arms wrapped around his waist and he pulled him close. "I.... I just hope you feel the same." he stared him owlishly with his big void eyes.

Of Couse Stuart was a horny mess, but he felt a lot for Murdoc, his heart was racing and his room was so silent that besides his voice all that could be heard was his pulse and his unsteady breath.

Murdoc laughed, "I never said that! I love it hard and fast, you know that." He nipped Stuart's bottom lip. "And maybe we can make that dream a reality next time, yeah?" He winked. He loved the idea of fucking him at the funfair, although if they caught, his dad might kill them both.

When Stuart moaned again from the nipple pinches he got even more excited, rubbing himself against him harder. "Oh fuck...." he said shakily. "I want you more than anything I've ever wanted Bluebird. You give me life." He moaned, and kissed him some more.

Stuart smirked seeing how he was needy. quickly he unbuckled his pants and opened his fly, finally releasing Murdoc.... hearing he wanted him was the best turn on he could have asked for.

He liked it hard right? So Stuart shoved him on the bed and took his trousers and underwear off throwing them on the floor. With him totally naked he began sucking him off roughly while opening his own trousers as he was painfully hard right now.

He just hoped no one disturbed them. While sucking Murdoc his hand slipped to his own cock shyly stroking himself, as the vision of Murdoc squirming for him was just delightful.

The singer didn’t mind right now if he would fuck Murdoc or he fuck him, he just wanted to hear him moan his name wanting more. He needed Murdoc much more than the bassist would ever know. He needed to feel the way only Murdoc could make him feel.

When Stuart had released him from his pants, he let out a low, deep growl. He pushed his hips into Stuart's hands, releasing a small whimper. "Stu...." he let out. He looked into Stuart's eyes, smiling. He had an idea.

He got up and took his pants and Stuart's shirt he was wearing off. He then took the rest of Stuart's clothes off, helping him out. When they were both completely naked, he looked down and smirked. He grabbed some lube from Stuart’s dresser and kneeled over Stu.

He held the bottle over Stuart's cock and dripped some lube onto it. Then he stroked it and rubbed his hand to spread the lube all over it. He then put some on his fingers and reached back to start preparing himself.

While doing this, he grunted and let out small moans while looking at Stuart and smirking. When he finally felt like he was ready, he brought himself up and straddled Stuart's stomach, his dick against his ass. He sat up and arched his back, looking down at Stuart. He brought the lube bottle up and started pouring some onto his chest, a hungry and playful look in his eyes.

When things subtle changed Stuart's eyes just widened. But he smiled calmly whatever Murdoc wanted he would be pleased with.

He smiled seeing him preparing himself. It was a turn on too the way Murdoc wasn't ashamed of anything. He let out a soft moan once Murdoc was on him crazy to be inside the Satanist. Expectation was torture. He swallowed hard seeing him arched his back.... his mouth becoming dry.

He wanted to ask him what he wanted but that playful look got him defenseless. "Muds...." his arms shook he reached Murdoc quickly to kiss him pulling him down not bothering about the lube on his chest. He kissed hungrily and desperate. "Fuck." he moaned against his mouth.

He gave a surprised yelped that turned into a laugh when Stuart pulled him down for the kiss. He pressed his lubed chest against Stuart's, breathing hard. His dick was rubbing against Stu, it was becoming painful, and he loved it. He pulled away slightly.

"Eager aren't we?" He smiled and sat back up. He slid back slightly so Stuart's dick was right up against his ass. "How bad do you want it, love?" He pushed against it slightly. He placed his hands on Stuart's chest to kind of hold him down a bit

Stuart was barely processing anything....Murdoc teasing him the way he was almost unbearable.... but a good unbearable.

"Muds please...." he said gripping the sheets. He said between gasps. "Please I need you.... I know you want too.... let me please you, love.... I want...." he swallowed hard "I want you so bad it hurt Muds, please...." his eyes were pleading and his voice shaken.

"I love you, Mu’doc...." he told him with a smile. "Please love.... ride me...." He rubbed his nose against his broken one whispering against his mouth.

Murdoc smiled, "Well, I can't say no to that begging." He was still going to have some fun though. He got off Stuart and grabbed his belt from his jeans. He looked at Stu with an almost sinister look and licked his lips.

He leaned back over Stu and had him put his hands together above his head. He cinched the belt tight around his wrists and held them there with his hand. He leaned down and put his lips close to Stuart's without touching them.

"I love you too Stu." He whispered, barely audible. He lifted himself up and used his hand to guide himself onto Stuart. He slowly slid down until Stuart was completely inside him. He let out a shaky breath, waiting till he got used to it. He looked at Stuart with a sly smile, his breath shaky.

Stuart gasped with that belt. He never did anything like that. But he liked much more than he could express in words. And he trusted Murdoc to tie him as he pleased.

When he tied him Stuart instinctively tried to pull his arms down, what happened to just hold back and hurt a bit due to the leather of it. He whined. He thought the Satanist would hit him with the belt or sorta just tie him only made the singer smirk wide.

Once Murdoc was sliding himself into him, he arched his back and closed his eyes whispering his name between shaky breaths. He wanted so bad to touch Murdoc but he obeyed and kept his hands up, squirming.

He opened his eyes again just to see Murdoc over himself with the most lewd smile he had even seen. "Mu’doc.... Please.... move.... Please...." his back arched even more craving for contact when he heard his sentence. His hands up, torturously.

Murdoc was driving him crazy "God you're so fucking gorgeous, love.... I could cum right now just looking at you...." he chuckled trying to pull his arms down unsuccessfully.

Murdoc smiled and whispered, "Did you think I was going to hit you with this, Bluebird?" He gave his forehead a kiss. "Not till after the videos, naughty little blueberry." He chuckled as the singer struggled with his wrists.

When he finally felt comfortable with the singer inside him and slowly moved up and down, a little too slow for his liking, but he was determined to tease the kid more. He let put a few light moans as he did this, still holding Stuart's wrists.

"F-fuck." He whispered. He kept moving himself up and down. He could feel Stuart trying to ram into him a little faster but he used his body weight to keep him down.

 _"You're mine."_ Murdoc whispered as he kept going. He repeated it a few times and kissed Stuart passionately.

Now that he thought, Murdoc had a point.... They had he videos. And it was gonna be a shame big purple bruises on the singer While recording. He smirked to this thought "I definitely want to try you hit me with that Muds...." He really trusts Murdoc. Maybe much more than he should.

When Murdoc began moving Stuart felt in heaven. Even his toes curled as his arms couldn't. He squirmed under the Satanists touch moaning his name. And begging for more while he tried to move his hips up. It felt so good inside the bassist.

Once he heard his sentence Stuart came back to reality "Only yours Mu’doc.... all yours...." He whispered gasping and opening his eyes, looking to him with a large smile. God how he wanted to touch him right now.... But that kiss was enough for him.

He felt the familiar burn in the bottom of his belly and moaned louder "please I want to make you mine too.... " Tears came to his eyes and his pupils rolled inside his head. But he didn't cum yet. Murdoc was such a tease riding him, much better than he thought it would be.

Murdoc huffed and bit his lip. That's exactly what he wanted. He held Stuart's hands down and started going faster, slamming himself down on to Stuart. Now he was moaning with each thrust switching from kissing him to nibbling his soft lips.

Stuart's cock was hitting his sweet spot over and over at such a hard force. He couldn't hold it back anymore, he came. He came all over Stuart's chest. He could feel himself squeezing Stuart in waves of pleasure. He kept moving to make sure Stuart came, holding him down by the hands still.

Stuart couldn't help anymore when he felt Murdoc cumming. That fast pace didn’t help him holding back. His walls clenched around himself and he came deep and warm into the Satanist with his eyes rolling into his head one last time.

He moaned loudly and pulled his arms from the tight grip. His back arched and his wrist burned but he didn't mind at all. He could swear it almost cut from how much strength he put pulling his arms down while Murdoc held him in place. 

"Muds aaahh...." he closed his eyes shut and some tears fell while his body fell back on the mattress. He only noticed that Murdoc came when his chest was messy and he chuckled.

"Please let me touch you...." He whispered almost inaudible. "Anything Muds a kiss a hug.... I need you...."

Murdoc was spent. He collapsed onto Stuart, breathing hard, he didn't care about the mess. When Stuart asked him to let him touch him he quickly undid the belt, rubbing his wrists as they looked a bit raw.

Then he brought his hands down and rubbed his tears away. He gave him a kiss on the forehead and pet his hair.

"How are your wrists?" He asked, going back up to rub them. He continued to lay on his chest giving him soft kisses.


	26. Fight

"I dunno Muds.... their aching a bit...." He told him. He even liked the aching. "I think I pulled them too much...." He chuckled going to hug him and kiss his lips, cupping his face. They were pretty messy but the singer didn't even bothered.... He was happy and feeling lighter. And still wanted to touch Murdoc... As it was denied to him.

Murdoc smiled, "Oh I'm only just getting started with things like this." He pointed to the belt. "I got some handcuffs, whips, the whole nine yards. I was just worried you wouldn't like that kind of stuff, so I haven't tried it yet." He put his head down on Stuart's shoulder. He liked the idea of Stuart tied up, this was a small taste to see if the kid minded it.

His heart and breathing were steadying now as he rested on Stuart, one of his hands playing with Stuarts, interlocking fingers, or running the tips of his fingers over Stuart's palms or his long, delicate fingers. He felt content, for the first time ever.

Stuart thought for a second.... "This can be nice.... I mean.... I trust you.... a lot actually." He liked the way he played with his fingers.

"Let’s Just wait this stupid video recording and we shall start...." He chuckled wrapping an arm around him while he rested on his chest. He felt the luckiest guy on earth to have Murdoc.

 "I'm eager to try almost any kind of thing with you, Muds...... I.... never tried with anyone before...." He confessed blushing. He didn't trust anyone for that and he was too clumsy to tie someone, afraid of hurting.

 "Maybe I can discover some.... kinks. That's how they call it right...?..." He giggled "What are yours Muds....? What would you want to try with me....?" He said looking at his sore wrist of the hand Murdoc wasn't playing with. "And above all and would you want me to do with you....?" He knew this was a 2-side thing.

Murdoc snorted when Stuart talked about kinks and what his were. "Well, we should just list the ones I don't have. Would be a hundred times easier." He'd tried quite a bit, he'd hardly found anything he didn't like. As long as it got him, off really.

"We'll start with tying you up and go from there, yeah? We'll be slow, don't wanna scare you." He looked up at Stuart. He liked the idea of his delicate white skin getting smacked with a whip, tears in his eyes. Tears only Murdoc could soothe.

"If you want, we can just try things on you first to introduce you to it, see how I lead then switch. Sound good? I was kind of thrown into things sometimes, probably not the best way to do it." Be was going over every inch of Stuart's hand at this point, enjoying the tranquil feeling in him.

When Stuart noticed he barely had no bad kinks he could think about he chuckled. The singer himself couldn't think about his own.... as for him sex was just what he was used to .... nothing more. He wasn't really creative and.... He thought that most ones involved pain...  He could tell by his wrists.

He bit his lip. He was scared he could not enjoy or let Murdoc down not doing it right. The people he shagged should know how to do it properly and Stuart was nervous to not satisfy him.

 The singer tempted to overthink even the smallest things. He looked at Murdoc's hand on his trying to avoid these bad thoughts silently caressing it back.

Murdoc noticed his nervousness. "You okay Stu? Are you nervous? There's no need to be nervous, love. I'd never do anything you didn't want.... would it be better if you did it to me first?"

He brought his hand up and brushed Stuart's hair out of his face. He really didn't want Stuart to do something he wasn't comfortable with. He was a strong believer of everyone being on board and comfortable with what's being done to them.

"A bit Muds...." He needed to be honest. Better say he was nervous than scared. He wasn't scared of Murdoc he was scared of not being good enough for him. And Murdoc already showed him how he was an amazing person, going totally outta his comfort zone facing his parents for him. Stuart just wanted to return as equal and he knew how sex was something Murdoc really enjoyed.

He swallowed hard. "I trust you.... if.... if you think I can do it with you, okay.... I just ... want to make you satisfied." He said looking to another direction. "In each and every way." He said blushing but being honest. Besides the bad parts he never had in life someone who did as much for him as Murdoc.

Murdoc suddenly sat up on Stuart, looking down at him. "Stu, I won't be satisfied unless you're also comfortable. There's nothing that'll turn you off more than seeing someone uncomfortable and forcing themselves to do something...." he said in a serious tone. This was one thing he didn't mess around with.

"Is it the thought of pain? A little bit of pain can give you loads of pleasure during sex, Bluebird. But that's why you gotta talk to me about it so we don't go over the edge." He looked at him with the gentlest expression.

"It's not so much the pain you focus on in those kinds of relationships, it's about trust. You trust the other person not to go too far when you're so vulnerable, and you trust your partner to tell you when to stop or slow down." He smiled wide.

"Then when it's all over, you get that time to bring everything down, like your nerves and emotions and adrenaline. It's the aftercare where you get this kind of feeling of strengthening a bond...." he only felt that once with someone that had introduced this kind of thing to him. He'd been young, dumb and almost desperate and the bird turned out to be a sleaze. He never really had it since, so he liked the idea of having it with Stu.

He heard all his explanation owlishly. Murdoc had a point. All he said was even.... romantic in some sort of way. When he asked about the pain, he nodded. But them he felt a bit relieved when he explained about everything that soft. Murdoc was being patient to talk about sex.... that was really nice for a 27 years old inexperienced lad.

"I see Muds.... I bet when you learned that.... you should have trusted a lot the person you were with huh?..." He bit his lip "do you trust me....?" He was totally not used to this kind of thing but he wanted to show Murdoc he was capable of. He looked at him with big eyes.

He talked like a professional.... Stuart even felt jealous of someone having all Murdoc's trust. The stupid truth was that Stuart was scared Murdoc would leave him ‘cuz he wasn't good enough in sex. But he was willing to improve. He grabbed his hand again a bit ashamed of overthinking this much

Murdoc snorted at the Stuart's sill question, he kissed his hand. "Course I do Bluebird. Your dick wouldn't be in my ass if I didn't." He gave him a playful wink.

"I don't.... bottom or play the submissive role often.... rarely ever. I trust you if I let you do that. I like the roles but I don't trust anyone often enough to be able to do it." He took one of Stuart's fingers he was kissing and slowly put it in his mouth, sucking it. He kept his eye on Stuart, a small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. He was feeling playful, he didn't want the singer to worry about it as much. It's not as if he was going to start with tying him up and flogging him. He'd be gradual.

Stuart knew that.... he was kinda lucky knowing Murdoc bottomed to him. It was amazing for both man.... And even bottoming he was in control most of the times.... something Stuart loved. Even more ‘cuz Murdoc wasn't drunk doing that. He did sober

Stuart blushed and smiled at him back. Even sucking his fingers Murdoc was such a tease. He quickly replaced his fingers for his mouth kissing him and shoving his tongue into his mouth. He was finally a bit more relaxed about all that after his small breakdown. Eager to find everything he liked in bed with Murdoc

His hands went to the back of his head deepening the kiss. He leaned closer his ear when he broke the kiss "Thanks for trusting and being patient with me...." he whispered. It was silly .... But Stuart felt like saying. He pulled back with a large smile. "You're the best, Muds...." He purred.

Murdoc was surprised when Stuart pulled his fingers away from him and replaced them with his tongue, which he gladly accepted. He let Stuart deepen the kiss, playing with his tongue. When he pulled away and thanked him, he gave a small laugh and sat up straight puffing out his chest. 

"I am the best, don't forget it Bluebird." He said confidently. He enjoyed when Stuart complimented him. "You're pretty great yourself, I don't care what they say about you." He teased him. He laughed and got off Stuart slowly.

"I need a shower, your cum's leaking out of me." He said with zero shame and laughed. Plus he had his own cum and lube drying on his chest. He hated when it dried, felt sticky.

"A shower sounds amazing...." He said with a smile. Thank God, no one appeared to disturb them. He soon sat on the bed rubbing his sore wrists "Want me to shower with you...?" He asked softly.

Murdoc looked over to Stuart, a soft smile on his face. "Of course love! You're always welcome in my shower. Come on." He said, grabbing one of Stuart's hands gently and pulling the kid with him towards the bathroom.

He got the water going and at the perfect temperature. He turned and guided the singer into the water. Once there, and both were in the water, he brought Stuart's wrists up and kissed them gently.

Stuart smiled to him seeing that they weren't that sore and wet himself under the water.... He beamed and grabbed the soap to wash Murdoc's chest that was already dried with cum and lube.

"Lemme wash you, love...." He told him softly. "A thank you for an amazing sex..." He joked giggling. Soon he began washing his hair still feeling his legs a bit wobbly to the recent orgasm

Murdoc closed his eyes and gave this deep throaty growl as Stuart washed him. It felt amazing having someone take care of him, he'd never really had that before.

"Thanks, love. It was truly amazing sex" He laughed, admiring Stuart's giggle. What a hell of a day. He relaxed a bit, finally able to was away the stress of 2D's parents and Jimmy Manson off his shoulders for a little bit.

"You're amazing, Stuart. Have I told you that?" He purred.

Stuart giggled.... "A couple of times already love.... But keep saying I'm not tired of hearing...." He teased. He knew how Murdoc liked to be called the best all the time

Soon he slowly turned the Satanist and began a careful massage using the soap. He put a big amount of it on his hands and began rubbing his back. His neck, his shoulders, touching him fondly as after the sex he still noticed Murdoc was a bit tense and maybe sore from bottoming. He tried to undo the knots he had on his back.

Stuart let Murdoc slippery and once satisfied he turned him around again massaging the front of his body always keeping his eyes on his... rubbing his sensitive attacked nipples his chest his arms even his chubby belly that he liked a lot. He giggled analyzing his body much older than his own and playing with his navel.

"I like your body.... Muds...." He confessed innocently washing his now flaccid cock in an intimate moment.... He wondered if anyone saw Murdoc soft and in this vulnerable in life. For a sex god he still looked like a human for the singer.

He loved praising the Satanist. Not only in sex but whatever he could. He leaned closer him once finished and kissed his lips tenderly smiling infatuated. He could take care of Murdoc whole day if he could.

As Stuart started massaging him, he let out a very low, throaty growl to let Stuart know he was happy with what he was doing. He was in heaven, probably the closest he'd ever get at least. He was really good with his hands, which wasn't surprising.

When Stuart turned around, he smiled with his lids lazily half shut in bliss. He stared into his eyes as the singer did the same for him. It was a really intimate moment, if Murdoc wasn't as relaxed as he was now, he would normally be uncomfortable with it. He trusted the singer however.

He chuckled softly when the singer started rubbing him down, giggling at his stomach sticking out a bit lazily. The singer said he liked his body, which gave him a good ego boost.

"Course you do, I am a sex god, yeah?" He laughed. Now he was just playing with the singer. The singer then kissed him and he kissed back softly. He wasn't annoyed anymore by being shorter than Stuart, they did fit well together with their heights. He wrapped his arms around the singer’s waist and brought him close.

When Murdoc pulled him closer Stuart just smiled, a honest and sincere smile. His arms went to his shoulders wrapping around them. "Hope you're more relaxed now Muds...." He pressed his forehead against his. "I love you." He whispered, happy as ever. At least he wasn't that clumsy. "And I'm so glad you’re mine." He confessed kissing his nose.

Those tiny moments meant the world for Stuart. He was easy to please with just little. Just to play a bit his hands went down and he squeezed his rear... "Love your ass too..." He winked and laughed.

Murdoc chucked when Stuart kissed his nose. The kid did the sweetest things sometimes, and he didn't know what else to do except laugh, but it was a sweet laugh.

"Same here, Stuart." He smiled and rubbed his back. He let out small choked snort when the singer grabbed his ass. "Well it's all yours Stu. Grab away!" He did a little grabbing of his own for fun, giving the kid a wink.

"By the way." He started, looking at Stuart's neck, "I think we should be good for filming in the next couple days. Tomorrow we have that award show, but then one more day off after that and then filming, yeah? Only a few more days, then I'm making you again." He growled, biting his lip.

Stuart tilted his head to the side so Murdoc could look better. "Yeah, and the bites on my ass are better too...." he chuckled. "Noodle and Russel noticed that it's healing.... "

He shivered when he bit his lip "can't wait Muds I'm missing your teeth...." He said blushing. "So it's tomorrow? And how it's gonna be? Do I have to wear something fancy?" He giggled running his fingers through his hair he looked at his forehead and face for a moment just admiring. Anything he did with Murdoc was good for him....

He was eager to try one of the bondage things Murdoc was into. But wouldn't tell.... He needed to behave till there.

Murdoc smiled and nodded, giving Stuart's lips a quick kiss. "Yup, we play on stage tomorrow, Feel Good Inc. You don't have to wear anything fancy, Bluebird. Just bring your pretty little self. I'm wearing my cape, underwear and boots." He smiled, running his hands from his waist to run up and down his back gently.

He saw Stuart looking at his forehead and face. "Whatchya looking at, love?" He laughed, a little nervous. He had learned to read where Stuart was looking, even with his lack of pupils.

Stuart beamed.... "Oh God with all traveling and stuff I totally forgot about that...." He bumped his hand on his face. He knew what award it was.... He's just a bit memory less.

"So I'll be like myself.... and I really enjoyed your choice of clothes, Muds...." He giggled. Would be looking at him all the time. When Murdoc questioned he blushed "uh you love.... you're beautiful...." He smiled fondly sounding terribly honest. "I-I like to look at you when we're close...." He admitted.

Murdoc looked excited, he loved being on stage. He was born for it, it's where he actually had fun. "Don't beat yourself up over it, that's why I'm here. It is MY band after all. I keep track of where MY singer is going to be." He laughed. He grabbed some shampoo and lathered it into the singer’s hair, massaging his scalp.

"Yup, you be yourself love, and I'll be me." He gave him a devious smile. He snorted when Stu called him beautiful.

"Stu, you're beautiful, I wouldn't describe myself as such. Ruggedly handsome maybe." He laughed as he continued to massage his scalp. Eventually he had him turn so he was under the water to wash it out.

Stuart purred with his touch "You know what Muds.... I couldn’t remember that you liked that much taking showers before...." he joked, Murdoc was really better about hygiene habits he could tell. He liked that change.

"For me you are, I like older man......" he shrugged. "You're charming what can I say?" he shivered when he called him his singer. anything with the possessive pronoun before made his whole body shiver.

 "This is gonna be awesome...." he mumbled under the water giggling. Knowing that probably Murdoc would be drunk and acting like himself...... probably he would have to take care of him afterwards but he didn’t mind at all. as long as there wasn’t any birds, he could deal with that,

"Well, I usually don't shower as often, but when I'm covered in cum, showers are good. Plus I did actually miss them a bit thanks to my 18 month stay in a Mexican prison." He started conditioning Stuart's hair. Part of him also liked touching the singer’s hair and making sure it stayed soft, mainly for his own selfish purposes.

Murdoc smiled when the singer seemed excited about the show. The kid had a real talent and a wonderful stage presence. "You're gonna be awesome." He said confidently.

"We are love...." He giggled excitedly and kissed him pressing him against the wall roughly for some moments. "I...." he thought for a second breaking the kiss "want to know something stupid I'd like to do with you....? Kiss you on the stage, in front of everybody...... hearing them scream, the girls like "Oh no..." other "Oh yeah...." he laughed out loud. it was stupid but he would like doing it.

Soon he was totally clean and turned the shower off offering Murdoc a towel. of course he wasn’t crazy that way, but he could dream couldn’t he....? He placed he towel on his hair rubbing it peppering his face with kisses. Stuart was clueless and very unaware of the dangers, he was just daydreaming.

Murdoc thought about Stuart's idea. "I think you're on to something...." he said slowly. The more he thought about it the more he thought it was a fantastic idea. It was something he would definitely do just to rile the crowd up.

He gave Stuart a devious smile. "Let's do it. Just for fun, yeah? The crowd would go crazy over it! It's brilliant...." he said, his thoughts wandering as he imagined it. He bit his lip and looked at Stuart.

"What do you think? You actually want to do it, or no?"

"Well Muds...." He stopped kissing his face giving him the towel "You have to be aware that we'll have to answer questions from interviews about that afterwards....headlines and all that.... it's gonna be a scandal...." He chuckled "And tell them that we did this for fun when we're actually.... together...." He shrugged "it's up to you Muds...." He smiled to him going to dry himself.

"I really wanted to do that.... but only if it's for real not just for the fans like... it's like assuming for the rest of the world, love.... your band's image...." He said seriously. One thing was teasing the crowd with something new about Gorillaz. Other was actually telling everyone they were together. However, he knew Murdoc didn't care about others opinions in the end. "I'm up to if you are."

Murdoc considered what Stuart was saying. "But.... what if we do it, and don't say anything about it? Let them speculate, that's what makes it more interesting, yeah? Then we can eventually tell everyone if you want, would that work?" He looked up at Stuart wondering if he's be upset about it.

He liked the idea of leaving people in a state of suspense; the mystery of it would drive people wild. However, he knew Stuart was slightly more sensitive to it. "Besides, when the hell did it become anyone’s business about our relationship? We told everyone we cared about, yeah?" He rubbed Stuart's arm softly.

Stuart smiled at him "Well become everyone else’s business when they’re our fans and would die to have a good story to talk about or to speculate...... I’m not even mentioning the haters...." he chucked "That's okay Muds.... so we kiss and don't say anything." He told him softly not really enjoying the idea. Stuart was just too scared for some stuff. But Murdoc was the owner of Gorillaz. If he wanted, Stuart would do it. He headed to the bedroom looking for his clothes silently.

Everything was quite a show to Murdoc.... and Stuart's feelings weren't a show for anyone to see. It was already difficult telling his cared ones.... But if he wanted mystery, okay.

In the end was Stuart who suggested it. He should have kept his mouth shut. And for the singer one thing was Murdoc telling his parents.... Other was telling his fans. Something he fought hard to have. Maybe he was just overthinking again.

He thought his feelings would be just another form to make Gorillaz even more in the media. He found a clean pair of trousers "Want one of my shirts, Muds....?" He forced a smile avoiding the topic.

Murdoc watched the singer as he talked. He could tell the boy wasn't necessarily overly thrilled about it, but Murdoc thought he was focusing on too many negatives. He had a hard time telling their sodding band mates, he wasn't going to tell a bunch of strangers. They were his fans and he loved them, but this was a more personal/private issue for him. He just couldn't understand why Stuart would care so much.

He dropped his towel, leaving it in the bathroom. He walked out naked and found his thong he'd been wearing earlier. He put it on and smiled at the boy, "Nah, love. You got any sweatpants I could wear?"

He walked over to Stu and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, kissing his shoulder. "Are you okay?" He asked.

Stuart nodded silently with a half-smile. "I'm okay" he kissed his cheek fondly and looked for a sweatpants. When he took off it from the wardrobe he chuckled, would be too long for Murdoc as his legs were much longer than his.

he offered Murdoc looking for his clothes, he wanted something comfortable. And as he was really thin he didn’t use to walk shirtless at home. He grabbed a t-shirt and some shorts going to the mirror to comb his hair.

Murdoc eyed the kid suspiciously. He wasn't entirely convinced. He knew how sensitive Stuart was to discussing their relationship with others. Murdoc knew he wanted to tell the world about them, and, when he thought about it, he didn't really care much if they did. The anonymous crowds of people weren't near as terrifying to Murdoc as close family members or friends. And Murdoc wasn't even worried about being judging or hating him, he was more worried about people hating or judging Stuart.

He knew the kid wouldn't really notice but everyone they'd told so far really questioned his judgment in being with the man that ruined his face and nearly killed him. Stuart always had to defend himself and Murdoc and Murdoc knew he'd literally die trying if that's what it took. He didn't want his singer to be upset or stressed about it anymore. Murdoc wanted to tease and flirt with Stu in public, but wanted to relax with the kid in private.

He put on 2D's sweats and they were long, he had to roll them up. He walked over to Stu and stood in front of him with his arms crossed, making sure Stuart knew he wanted to talk. "Talk to me Stu...."

Stuart looked his reflex on the mirror.... "T-talk about what, Muds....?" he asked hesitantly turning to face him and biting his lip. He didn’t want really to talk about it, as he thought his opinion didn’t matter.

"W-we decided.... kiss and not tell anyone why right? It's fine for me...." he whispered leaning closer him

"Look.... I ... " he looked down "It's silly really, It was a silly idea.... I didn’t even think you'd really consider it...." he chuckled nervously. Even him wasn’t understanding what he was feeling. "I'll do whatever you find it’s the best okay?" he let him decide.

Murdoc growled. He hated when 2D was okay with something ONLY because he thought that was what Murdoc wanted. He slammed his hand down on Stuart's dresser, glaring at the singer.

"No, WE will do what WE agree is best. Christ Stu, whatever I think is best? No wonder everyone things I'm holding you hostage. Why can't we talk about this?" He raised his voice but kept from yelling. He was upset because they had just discussed this issue regarding sex. It isn't something you do to please the other, you do it for yourself too.

"Why do you want to tell everyone we're an item so badly Stuart?" He brought his voice down and got closer to Stuart, rubbing his arm. "What's wrong with just being in the moment with me? Stu, every time we tell someone, you end up fighting an uphill battle. Yeah it's worked out in the end, but...." he swept his hair behind his ear, "I don't want to see you upset anymore? I don't want you killing yourself for me. I appreciate it Bluebird. More than you will ever realize, but I can't stand to see you hurt. So we kiss and there's some speculation. People get over it and assume what they are going to assume. There's no battles there that you have to fight...." he gave him a light kiss. "I just.... hate seeing you crying love...." he was whispering now, looking up at 2D. He realized he was afraid of disappointing Stuart when they'd reveal that they were an item. Murdoc's choked every time so far, he didn't think he could disappoint his singer one more time like that. Not be able to articulate how he felt like the singer did.

Stuart flinched when he did that. He hated when Murdoc got angry about anything he did wrong or when he yelled.... that's why he just accept everything the Satanist did to him.... in order not to lose him or not to make him mad. He grew up to obey him and now that he was finally able to discuss he was just too traumatized to accept they could talk together.

"I'm.... sorry." He whispered "I.... just don't wanna fight Muds. I don't wanna talk about ‘cuz.... I don’t wanna make you angry.... I lived quite a time obeying what you said.... and I was okay with that." he looked a bit desperate.

 " I'm just happy.... when I'm happy I like telling everyone.... y-you saw it in the fun fair o-or with my parents...." He swallowed hard. "I-I don't care i-if I have to fight.... I told you.... you were worth all that.... a-and I wanted to be different I-I'm sorry...." He was really desperate now. "I'm sorry for thinking too much.... I-I’m sorry of being s-scared when you were brave for me.... I'm sorry to avoid talking...." He took a deep breath and finally looked at him.

"Please forget what told you and please don't be angry with me." He wiped his tears quickly he knew Murdoc hated him crying. " I'm sorry… I’m sorry...."

Murdoc's shoulders slumped, his anger deflating quickly. "Fine.... We'll pin it for another time yeah? Maybe at our next concert we'll be ready?" He walked up and gave the singer a tight hug.

"Stu.... I'm sorry. Please don't just do things because you want to obey me." That broke his heart. It's like Stuart really was his hostage. "I'm not mad.... well I was mad but not gonna hit you mad or anything Stuart. I'd never do that again...." he whispered. He knew the singer trusted him, and it was mostly habitual that he got scared of an angry Murdoc, it still hurt though. He rubbed the singer’s back soothingly.

Stuart swallowed his tears shaking "okay Muds...." He would try his best to get the idea. To try to talk to him next time something like that happened. He was just used to being pushed around.

He forced himself to stop. "Thank you...." He mumbled against his chest about the hitting and let out a shaky breath. He shyly placed his arms around Murdoc rubbing him and calming himself. Every bad memory came to his mind that time. All the times he made Murdoc angry. He shivered.

Murdoc squeezed Stuart, hard after feeling him shiver. He had a lot to make up for with Stu. About 8 years worth. He started shushing Stuart soothingly while rubbing his back.

"Sorry Stu. I promise I'm not mad. I'm really not. I'm sorry. I just want you to feel comfortable talking to me now." He felt guilty now. He caressed his face with both hands and gave him soft kisses all over his face, whispering sorry after each kiss.

Stuart nodded while the last tears escaped his eyes. He swallowed hard and finally stoped crying. He smiled to his tiny kisses. He had a lot to learn too.... Murdoc wasn't the same he met years ago.... He was just traumatized. "I will Muds..."

After some moments he cupped his face and kissed him back passionately. "Let's focus on the award okay...? Good things...." He smiled closing his eyes adorably.

Murdoc smiled and cupped his face back and smiled. Stuart was a good kid, he loved him. After his small kisses he brought the boy closer for another strong hug. He started petting his hair again.

"I love you Stuart." He gave a small sigh, "Christ, I'd do anything for you.... but just.... give me some time, yeah? Let me think about it, okay?" He whispered into his ear.

Stuart chuckled shivering a bit with him speaking into his ear. "No problem Muds.... I'm the one here rushing things.... I'm sorry you didn't do anything wrong. We have all the time in the world...." He returned the big hug smiling. "...... You make me fall in love with you more and more every day, you know that?...." He blushed.

He knew pretty well Murdoc would do anything for him. He felt blessed for that, but needed to recognize that sometimes he was asking too much of him. He was happy so far with what they had.

Murdoc laughed and rubbed Stuart's back. "Do you really? Are you sure you aren't just saying that? I'm kind of a bastard." He teased. He cupped the boy’s face and looked into his eyes.

"Wanna watch some TV and relax tonight?" He smiled. He wanted to cuddle with Stuart and just enjoy the man with him. He tucked some hair behind the boy’s ear and kissed his forehead. He had a lot to heal with this relationship, he needed to be gentle.

Stuart bit his lip.... of course he meant that.... "No you're not.... of course I mean...." He said seriously and grabbed his hand placing it on his chest again. His heart was beating like crazy. "I am in love with you, Mu’doc" he said fondly.

He beamed "I’d love to, Muds!" He said excited and closed his eyes to his kiss. "What you wanna watch love....?" He said happy as a child. "I've got lots of movies...  and I can make popcorn...." He said forgetting totally the previous topic about kissing in public. Murdoc made him so happy with so little. "Would you like anything else to eat....?"

Murdoc smiled at his enthusiasm. The kid was adorable. "Nope, go make some popcorn; I'll pop a video in, yeah?" He pulled away from the singer and walked to his TV, DVD's stacked nearby. He noticed most of the videos were horror movies. He turned back to the boy.

"Why do you like horror movies so much?" He laughed, sorting through them. He was looking for the perfect movie to use to snuggle with Stuart. Something scary, but not too gory.

Stuart turned around to go to the kitchen when he was asked about his movies "I dunno Muds...... I like those creatures.... y'know? Something different from the reality...." He shrugged "What kind of movies you like Muds....? Besides porn I mean...." he chuckled

Murdoc laughed, "Smartass. I don't mind horror movies, but I just don't watch movies often. Go make some popcorn so you can feed me." He winked at the boy.

After he left he continued looking for a movie. He found the original 'Dawn of the Dead'. He knew the kid liked that movie. He put it in and got it ready, waiting for the singer to come back.

He sat on the bed, fixing the sweats the singer had given him. They were ridiculously long so he pulled them up. He considered what Stuart had asked of him earlier. He knew what the singer wanted, but he just needed to get his head wrapped around the idea.

Stuart nodded going to the kitchen.

He decided to make popcorn with butter.... He hoped Murdoc didn't mind. And he grabbed 2 big glasses with coke for them. Into the Satanists he put a bit of whiskey, he knew he liked that mixture.

Soon he was heading upstairs with food almost dropping everything. He checked Noodle and Russel.... still sleeping thank God.

"I'm back...." he said smiling and looking how big his pants were for him. "God you're tiny...." He joked placing things on the nightstand. "This is yours..." He told him softly "now I remembered 2 glasses and not only one...." He winked to Murdoc remembering when they went to the cinema.

He sat down on the bed smiling to him offering him popcorn. "May I feed you....?" He was really obedient.

Murdoc snorted after taking a drink of the coke. He noticed a hint of whiskey. He beamed at the singer, "Thank you Stu. Holy shit I didn't know how much I needed that...." he drank a little more.

"Stu, I was just joking about feeding me. I wouldn't make you.... unless you really want to. Then I won't say no of course." He smiled. He needed to make sure the singer didn't do anything just because he thought it'd please him.

Stuart blinked to him. He knew Murdoc pretty well to do tiny things he liked.... He did all to make him happy. ‘cuz he was sweet as hell.

He pressed the popcorn against his mouth "quiet old man...." He joked. "I'm spoiling my boyfriend a bit after all the effort he made with his in laws..." He joked. "Which movie you pick love....?" He asked curiously looking at the screen and pulling his legs against his chest.

Murdoc snorted and took the piece against his lips happily. He pulled the singer close to him so they could share the popcorn. He then pushed play on the remote.

"Dawn of the Dead, love. I know how much you like that one." He grabbed a piece of popcorn and fed the singer. He felt relaxed once again. It was moments like this that he knew he truly loved the singer. He didn't care about what anyone else thought at these moments. They were both happy and that's all that mattered.

"Uh I like that...." he told him softly "You know me so well love...." He purred. He leaned closer him and pulled his blankets over them two.

He grabbed his glass taking a sip and watching the movie with a dumb smile. His hand rested on his thigh and he was really comfortable with Murdoc. He kissed his cheek tenderly and rested his head on his shoulder.

Stuart loved those calm moments too.... that they shared like a couple. "We could make out movie night once a week Muds.... what do you think?" He told him excitedly.

Murdoc threw his arm around Stuart, keeping the kid close to him. He rubbed his shoulder gently and kissed the top of his head. He grabbed a piece of popcorn and held it by the singer’s mouth for him to eat.

"I'd like that, love. I'd like that a lot...... I love you Stuart. I really do. We could have a night of just staring at each other and I'd be happy." He chuckled and smiled. He continued to watch the movie, his head leaning against Stuart's on his shoulder. His hair was soft and smelled good. He continued to eat and feed Stuart. After they finished the popcorn and drank his drink, he started drifting off, focusing on Stuart's soft hair against his face.

"Well Muds.... I thought you'd not have patience for that...." He was surprised in a good way. "We can do other things besides watch a movie.... a night for us two.... "

He meant something without sex. He loved cuddling much more than Murdoc thought he loved. He just thought Murdoc didn't like cuddles that much.... as he always just had sex and dumped the people. He didn't know he was such a touchy person. Every time Murdoc purred into his touch Stuart felt like melting in his touch. He knew the Satanist wasn't used to so much care and soft touches.... He could live with that.

He ate the popcorn happily till it finished. Soon he pulled Murdoc to lay comfortably on him. From time to time, he kissed his temple and hair caressing it. He felt warm and didn't want that moment to end. "Enjoying the movie so far....?" He whispered to him finishing the last sip of his coke.

Murdoc snuggled into Stuart, his eyelids getting heavy. He snuggled into the singer and mumbled. "Yeah...." he smiled and just listened to the movie with his eyes closed.

Stuart was incredibly warm to snuggle with and he smelled like caramel and peppermint. Murdoc wished to stay in this moment forever. Everything he had suffered in life until this point in time seemed completely worth it now. He determined that, at that moment, he was willing to sell his soul again if that's what Stuart wanted.

He let out a small happy murmur as 2D caressed his forehead. He snuggled into him more. "I love you Stuart." He whispered.

Stuart's heart warmed "I love you too Mu’doc...." He kissed his lips sweetly "Sleepy, honey?" He asked carefully. He knew how whiskey made him.... he began laying him down on the bed. "Is there anything I can do for you....?" He said caressing his face. Murdoc when not angry was so at peace.... especially with him. He bit his lip, blushing. How he loved the man that was in front of him.

"Yeah...." he mumbled again after Stuart kissed him. When Stuart laid him down he wrapped his arms around Stuart and pulled him close, cuddling himself into Stuart's chest. He put his ear against Stuart's chest, listening to him breathe softly and his heart beat steadily. He took a deep breath, taking in his caramel and peppermint smell even more.

"Stay with me.... forever. Never leave me, please." He mumbled, squeezing Stuart closer to him, his eyes still closed. He was half-asleep, he knew normally he'd never plead for something like this, but he didn't care at the moment.

Stuart smiled at him. "Never Muds....i love you and I have full trust in you that you won't make me regret it......" He whispered to him kissing his face and head. He loved when Murdoc laid on his chest.

"Will be a pleasure aging with you, love..." He didn't feel sleepy at all.... He had slept all of half of the day.... bit he would let Murdoc rest if he wanted.


	27. Nightmare

Murdoc slept happily on Stuart's chest, holding onto him the entire time. He dreamt that he was on the floating island with Stuart. They were relaxing on it together as it flew through the clouds. It was beautiful and Stuart looked amazing, his blue hair blowing in the wind, the sun shining on it.

Stuart was singing softly but he couldn't hear him properly. He couldn't make out what the kid was saying. It was a song he'd never heard before or at least one he didn't recognize it.

He stood up to get closer to the singer, but when he walked towards him, he couldn't seem to get closer. Frustrated, Murdoc called out to Stuart, but he didn't hear him. He was just singing and smiling at him. He tried jogging closer but he still couldn't get to him. He tried calling out desperately this time, loudly. Stuart finally seemed to hear him. He stopped and stood up, but instead of walking towards Murdoc, he walked to the edge of the island. Murdoc yelled at him to stop, not get too close. He knew how the boy was prone to tripping.

Stuart turned back to look at him. His eyes were white and sad, filled with tears that ran down over a deep frown. Murdoc's heart broke, he called out to him, tried running to him. Why was he crying?

"Why did you hurt me Murdoc?" Stuart asked. Murdoc could hear him just fine now.

"W-what do you mean, love? How did I hurt you? Tell me what I did?" He rambled quickly, holding up his hand to reach out to Stuart. "Please tell me!" He yelled. He panicked as he saw Stuart look down over the edge of the island.

"S-Stuart...." he said. Suddenly a hand came up over the lip of the island near Stuart. It was pure black, almost looked to be dripping. Another came up and with it, came the rest of the body. A black swirling, wet mess of black with red eyes. It crawled it's way up next to Stuart, who didn't seem to notice.

"Stuart!! Look out!!" Murdoc yelled and ran towards him, frustrated again as he couldn't get closer. He kept trying though. He stopped when Stuart looked at him, crying. The black creature had wrapped itself around Stuart, it's head on his shoulder, looking back at Murdoc as well. Murdoc suddenly noticed the black creature.... looked like him.... Murdoc was the black creature?

Suddenly it engulfed a helpless Stuart in a swirling mass of wet black smoke. Then it guided him closer towards the edge. Murdoc screamed at Stuart to stop, tears streaking down his face. He ran again, getting no closer. Suddenly it made Stuart take a step over the edge and he fell, then it was completely black.... Murdoc was left alone.... in blackness, crying.

Stuart didn't sleep at all.... He turned the TV on again and silently watched it.... he definitely needed his pills ‘cuz of a upcoming headache but didn't dare to move and wake up Murdoc.  From time to time, he kissed the top of his head and held the Satanist close whispering sweet nothing's to him.

After a while Stuart noticed he moving and mumbling something he didn't understand.... He turned the tv volume a bit down, maybe it was disturbing the bassist. But he noticed Murdoc was moving a lot more than he should and seemed trembling. He questioned himself but didn't dare to wake him up just holding him even closer.... was that a nightmare? He bit his lip, Murdoc seemed desperate.... and he didn't have a bad dream in a while now.

He felt like he needed to do something but he didn't know what. He held his hand that has grabbing his shirt desperately that time.

Murdoc felt nothing but terror and a painful loneliness as he sat there in the dark. He couldn't find Stuart, he couldn't find anyone. Tears fell from his face involuntarily as panic set in. He started shaking and a few whimpers escaped. How the fuck did he get out of here? He needed to find Stuart, but how?

He froze when he hears a sickening crackling/snapping in the distance. It sounded as if bones were continuously breaking. He frantically looked around, trying to find the source as the sound echoed around him but got closer. As the sounds got deafening, Murdoc thought he'd go mad, when suddenly it was quiet. All he could hear was his ragged breathing. He saw and heard nothing once more, he calmed down slightly.

As he turned around one last time, he was suddenly face to face with a pair of red eyes and a swirling wet looking smoky figure. He jumped and tried to back up but the creature grabbed onto his arm. The touch burned, causing him to scream in pain as he tried to pry it off. He saw the creature starting to take a more familiar form.... it looked like Murdoc. He was smiling sickeningly. Murdoc fought against it, yelling at it to let him go.

Suddenly it reached out and wrapped its hands tightly around his throat, causing him to quiet. Even as he tried to scream in pain as it burned his skin. Tears streamed down his face still.

As it started squeezing his neck, his breathing became more shallow and difficult. He struggled as the creature that looked like him choked him.

He clenched his jaw and, with one of his last breath, he asked, "Where's Stuart?" The creature stopped squeezing and looked at him for a moment before laughing a gravely deep laugh. Murdoc growled in frustration and anger. He just wanted to know Stuart was okay, that was all.

Stuart turned the TV off when he noticed Murdoc was breathing with difficulty and whimpering. The grip on his shirt tightened and the singer was becoming more and more desperate. He gasped saying his name and the singer eyes widened.

 He whispered a "Muds" and tried to shake him a bit carefully. "Please wake up...." He whispered trying not to sound desperate and failing. What could possibly in the world scary Murdoc Niccals? His hand went to his throat and he swallowed hard thinking Murdoc could choke him. His expression was unreadable something between fear and despair.

As he wondered where Stuart was, he suddenly heard a "Muds" from Stuart somewhere in the distance. He tried to get out Stuart's name but the hand on his throat tightened. He only let out a choked cry.

The demon creature holding him laughed and brought Murdoc's face close to it's mouth. "Stuart's mine." It said to him. Murdoc growled and struggled to reply. "No.... he's mine. You hurt him...." He whispered, more tears falling down his face. The creature just laughed and suddenly, the black, wet smoke the creature was made of started growing and moving to consume Murdoc. He couldn't move, even though he was in an immeasurable amount of pain as it burned him. He couldn't scream. He could only watch as the creature's blackness overtook him.

"Silly Murdoc. We are one.... we hurt him." It laughed, as it's voice sounded just like his now.

"No! I'm different!" He choked out, still unable to move. As the blackness consumed him, he noticed the creature resembled him more and more. Green skin, one red eye, black hair. It was only smiling at him as he stared back, helpless. When it finally consumed all of him, he was suddenly the creature while the creature was now him.

The new Murdoc gave him a charming smile then turned and walked away, leaving him alone once more. He noticed that Murdoc was walking towards Stuart, who had a smile on his face.

"NO!" He screamed out as best he could, still frozen. He had to warn Stuart, that wasn't him...... right? The new Murdoc out his arm around Stuart and walked away into the blackness. Murdoc shook once more, struggling to move and save him.

He suddenly woke up screaming, his face covered in tears. He was sweaty and shaking violently.

"Mu’doc Mu’doc...." He called him desperate. The singer was in tears too as he watched Murdoc falling apart. His chest tightened even more "Muds... Muds I'm here...." he  didn't know what to say....  Murdoc seemed so desperate it broke his heart. And his scream was terrifying.

"It was a nightmare...." he had never seeing Murdoc crying that way...... what was he dreaming? Why was he calling his name lots of Times....? He looked for his hand holding it tight while hugging him.

Murdoc realized where he was, seeing Stuart and pulling him in for a tight hug. He let a choked sob out involuntarily. He tried to collect himself as he realized it was all a dream. He held onto Stuart, running a hand through his soft hair, making sure he wasn't still dreaming.

"Stuart." he whispered repeatedly, trying to stop himself for shaking. He nuzzled into his neck. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He mumbled in between saying his name.

Stuart froze in place when he did that. "Why sorry.... ? You didn't do anything wrong Muds it was just a nightmare...." He tightened the hug "That's okay.... I'm here... I’m right here, love...." he didn't know how he was dreaming but he tried his best to calm him down.

Soon he moved to sit and bit and placed him in his lap. He held him close and rocked back and forth. He did that with Noodle when she was younger.... He just hoped it help.

Murdoc slowly calmed down as he held onto the singer, cuddled up into his lap. He didn't care how embarrassing it was. He kept his head into his neck, finally feeling steady. He felt a little less shaky but they weren't completely gone.

He finally kissed the singer’s neck gently and pulled away slightly. He looked up at Stuart sadly and caressed his face with both hands, just staring at him. He then gave him small kisses on his forehead, his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, his jaw line, then finally his lips. He then rest his forehead against Stuart's biting his own lip.

Stuart swallowed hard keeping him close all the time silent. He sniffled waiting him to calm down. Something told him Murdoc was dreaming of him. He didn't care if it was embarrassing or Murdoc's age.

With that kiss on his neck, he shivered. He immediately moved to look at his eyes.... that were full of sadness and fear. His heart broke again. Before he could say anything, his face was covered with kisses. He felt so warm so loved.... He let out a small sigh of happiness.

When he rested his forehead against his Stuart closed his eyes "Muds...." He whispered brokenly holding him close with unsteady arms. He wanted to ask what happened and why he was that way.... but he remained silent.... He just wanted to give Murdoc support. He rubbed his nose against his "I'm here...."

Murdoc smiled when Stuart told him he was there. He felt his heart warm. He knew it was a dream before but it felt so real. He could still feel the burns from the creature. He waited a few minutes before speaking, his mouth dry.

"I had a dream that seemed so real...." he whispered. He wiped his still wet face. "I don't know what it meant but it scared me. This.... creature that turned into me took you away from me...." he mumbled and shivered.

"It burned me, choked me.... then consumed me and took you away...." he muttered. "I couldn't warn you.... I couldn't reach you or call out." He took a deep breath.

Stuart listened to his wiping his tears.... He didn't know what it meant too.... "No.... no one's gonna take me away from you Mu’doc...." He whispered back. He run his fingers through his hair slowly. His heart raced and ached seeing Murdoc was that scared of losing him.

He grabbed his hand "I'm right here...." He promised. "Nothing's bad is gonna happen.... as long as we're together." He couldn't tell this was a lie but he would fight for Murdoc like he had already done till now. "I'll protect you Muds...." He whispered even lower placing his face against his chest so Murdoc could hear his heartbeat.

Murdoc snuggled into 2D's chest when he placed his head there. He could hear the beating. It was a little fast, probably from Murdoc worrying him but it was there and it was beautiful. He wrapped his arms around his chest and hugged him.

"Thank you Stuart. Sorry for scaring you." He mumbled. He continued to hold on to the singer, rocking side to side with him slightly. The fear he felt was slowly fading with Stuart here. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this scared from a nightmare.

"I love you Stuart. I don't want to hurt you ever again. I'd rather die then do that...." he whispered, almost rambling at this point. He felt like he needed to make what happened better.

Stuart nodded silently. "I love you too Muds.... my Muds...." He whispered and lifted his face to kiss him tenderly. He knew he didn't want. He made a promise that he would fight for him no matter what. He would keep that.

"I do love you Mu’doc.... and I'm not going anywhere." He whispered caressing his hair. "Even if you hurt me.... I'll stay." He promised.

After a few minutes, Murdoc finally sat up, slightly relaxed. "Sorry Stuart...." he looked embarrassed. "I know it was just a nightmare. It just felt real." He caressed his face, looking at his black eyes. He smiles at Stuart and looks at the TV.

"What have you been doing so far while I was asleep, Bluebird?" He didn't let go of Stuart, but held onto him. He was still slightly nervous about his dream and holding onto Stuart made him feel better.

Stuart held him till he felt better "There's no problem Muds... I have nightmares myself.... I know how they are..." he told him softly.

"I was just watching TV... couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to bother you, you seemed tired.... I didn’t have my pills so my head hurts a lot...." he chuckled a bit. "Besides watching you sleep is really relaxing for me...." he said holding him back and running his fingers through his hair. He kissed his forehead.

Murdoc smiled at Stuart, "Let me go get your pills, yeah?" He kissed his forehead back and stood up. He forgot he has Stuart's sweats on so when he stood up, he almost tripped on them as they tangled up his feet.

He pulled the sweats up, laughing a bit and left to go get the pills. There were some in his Winnie, he knew he wouldn't have to go too far thankfully. He got to his Winnie and found the pills. On the walk back he heard Cortez crowing in the back somewhere. It was dark. It reminded him of his dream suddenly. He swallowed and quickly walked back.

When he got back to the room his heart was racing, but when he saw Stuart, he felt a little better. He handed Stuart his pills, wrapped his arms around him, and kissed his head.

Stuart smiled when he saw him coming back "thank you Muds...." he whispered taking the pills and closing his eyes to his kiss. "Are you feeling better....?" he said caressing his face noticing he was a bit pale.

"I really like you in my sweats Muds, should keep them...." he told him sweetly, he was funny with bigger size pants. Now he lost his tiredness and would try his best to keep Murdoc smiling and relaxed for him to forget his bad dream.

Murdoc nodded and laughed, "These sweats are too damn long. As are your other clothes my love." He crawled onto the bed and snuggled next to Stuart. He watched the TV with Stuart, enjoying his warmth. He played with his hair.

He thought about tomorrow, he looked at the clock real quick. Nope, it'd be today, it was past midnight. He tensed a bit. He was excited for it, he hoped Stuart was too.

"You should really get some sleep love.... are the pills kicking in? Make sure you have some for tomorrow before the show." He rubbed his back.

Stuart looked at him fondly. "I'll love, I promise I won't forget...." that was gonna be their first show, he couldn’t fail.

"Will you be okay if I sleep, Muds....? I mean if you need anything you can call me...." he held him close "Tomorrow is a big day.... I'll share the stage with my boyfriend again, y’know that?......" he chuckled blushing. "He’s gonna be awesome in his underwear showing his hairy legs to everybody...."

Murdoc smiled and leaned back with Stuart so he was lying down with him, Stuart on his chest. "Go head and sleep, Bluebird. I'll sleep again soon, I'm sure." He felt better when Stuart was with him. He pet his hair and closed his eyes.

"The crowds are gonna be raving for me in my underwear." He chuckled. "I am a god after all." He whispered as he stared up at the celling. He tightened his grip on the kid and closed his eyes. Regardless if he wanted to actually sleep or not, he knew he needed to.

Stuart closed his eyes waiting his pills to kick in. eventually they kicked and he slept soundly on his chest feeling warm and safe with his pain finally away. He dreamed about being in stage and ...... Kissing the Satanist on it, telling everyone in the microphone they were a couple. He could dream right? He had a big smile fluttering his face and held Murdoc close drooling on his chest.

Murdoc laid awake for an hour or two, holding the sleeping boy. He seemed to be twitching and mumbling in his sleep, it was cute. He rubbed his back and ran a hand through his hair. He eventually fell asleep himself, thankfully it was a dreamless sleep.

Next morning for some reason, Stuart woke up early, before Murdoc. He looked at the clock and was really early. He thought about waking him up but soon dropped it, Murdoc was just too at peace to be disturbed. He lifted his head a bit watching him sleep and caressing his face.

He couldn’t help but think about his strange nightmare.... another Murdoc taking his place and stealing him from the Satanist.... he frowned thinking about that. And besides being just a dream, fights and bad things could definitely happen, Stuart needed to be ready for them, but was he?

Murdoc told him all the time he didn’t want to hurt him, and he wanted to be better.... Stuart believed him blindly.... he just hoped he wouldn’t regret this decision. He moved his fringe a bit up seeing his brows...... he was frowning too, it made him laugh lowly. After he grabbed his hand and began kissing his fingers one by one.

Murdoc woke up to a feeling of something touching his fingers. It felt like small kisses, he knew what that was. He smiled. He moved slightly and, without opening his eyes, he wrapped his arms around Stuart, pulling him close and snuggling into him.

"Morning...." he murmured into his side. He was happy he had a dreamless sleep last night. He hoped Stuart slept well too, today was a big day.

"How did you sleep love?" He whispered, keeping his eyes closed.

"Good love.... thanks for asking...." he smiled letting his fingers go “And you....?" he rested his chin on his chest and looked owlishly to him. "No more bad dreams....?" his hand went to his face to caress it. He loved his rough voice when he woke up.... his heart raced and he blushed a bit.

Murdoc peeped an eye open, looking at the boy on his chest. He smiled and grabbed his hand on his face. He kissed it multiple times and nuzzled it.

"Nope.... no bad dreams my love. Thankfully." He yawned and stretched. "You ready for today?" He asked. He was beyond ready, but Stuart was the one that had to sing in front of everyone, playing bass was easy.

He put his hand in Stuart's hair and closed his eyes a little longer, trying to wake up. Stuart felt so warm on his chest, he could stay there forever. It was almost a shame they'd have to leave soon.

"I am...." he purred.... "But I'd rather much more stay with you here whole day if i could...." he giggled. he nuzzled his face on his chest. "Muds...." he whispered and kissed his neck tenderly. "I feel so safe with you...." he held him close a bit longer loving his sweet touch on his hair.

Murdoc gave him a playful growl. "If you stay here with me all day, I'm gonna fuck ya silly." He squeezed the singer close to him. "Unfortunately we have a job to do"

He slowly sat up, bringing the singer up with him. He gave him multiple kisses on the lips and the face. He gave him a hug. "Shall we go get some breakfast and see when we are leaving?"

"You saying sounds like fucking is a bad idea......" he chuckled sitting up.

He giggled to his sweet kisses... "God and you say I'm sweet...." he teased. "Sure, early we leave early we come back home and ...... well we can be together...." he wanted to say fuck but he held his tongue.

He winked to the bassist standing up. He had a small boner, but it was normal for him at morning after a good night of sleep and good dreams. He turned around going to the bathroom, not noticing it.

Murdoc smiled, "I like the way you think Pot. It seems you're.... interested.... in being together." He laughed, noticing Stuart's morning wood. He had his own, of course, but he always did so he never noticed.

"And I never said it was bad!" He yelled to Stuart in the bathroom and laughed. "I'm just saying nothing would get done." He stood up and scratched his stomach and chest, then stretched.

The sweats were hanging off him still. He made sure to pull them up before trying to walk again. He walked into the bathroom while Stuart was in there and looked in the mirror. He looked like a damn mess.

Stuart noticed him looking at himself through the mirror. He laughed "Yeah, Muds...... you're a mess......" he agreed with his way of thinking turning and ruffling his hair.

"My tiny little mess." he said pulling his sweats up and laughing as Murdoc was smaller than him." And of course I like being together.... I have to enjoy that you haven’t gotten sick of me yet, Niccals."

He winked to the Satanist wrapping his arms around him teasing him lightly rubbing his tent against him and kissing his lips in a quick peck. "Let’s work, love?" he asked fondly with a smile.

Murdoc grunted and smiled as Stuart the singer messed up his hair. "Of course I'm not tired of you. I've actually.... had fun and enjoyed my time so far with you." He admitted, trying to fix his hair.

He saw the wink from the singer and gave a playful huff. He felt the hard on against him and gave a choked laugh. "Really? You want me to work when you're teasing me with that?" He looked at Stuart in the mirror, a smirk on his face...

Stuart smirked "Me teasing? I dunno what are you talking about, Muds...." he chuckled and showed his tongue through the space of the lack of his teeth. His heart warmed hearing he had a good time with him.

"I know I'm irresistible but it's not time for that..." he let him go and playfully slapped his ass "I promise later I finish the work..." he let him go after kissing his cheek looking for his clothes.

"Maybe I was dreaming of you again, Muds...... who knows?" he teased with a smile. amazing humor today. Nothing was gonna ruin it. He looked for the perfect clothes to the award.

Murdoc snorted after the ass slap then play pouted, "Damn, no quickie for your boyfriend? And dreams huh? Hopefully wet dreams." He walked from the bathroom to go get his own clothes. He knew he wouldn't be wearing much, but he needed to make sure he was ready.

He looked at Stuart before leaving, "You better finish it later. I'll bring some special.... toys for the occasion, yeah?" He smiled. This was their big first concert for this album. The last one they celebrated for days. Now they were going to celebrate as a couple. He was excited.

He walked to his Winnie and completely undressed himself. He then found a clean pair of white underwear, got his boots on, his cape, and then, finally, the hat and necklace. He looked amazing, in his own opinion.

He went back to Stuart's room to walk to the living room with him. He gave a slight knock on the door. "You ready love?"

Stuart was ready, he put on one red shirt and the tightest jeans he had. Some cologne and combed his hair. He listened Murdoc about toys and wanted to tease him from now on.

He opened his door and looked at Murdoc snorting "Oh I thought you'd only undress when we reached there." he chuckled laying against the door. "Ready when you are...." he smiled placing a hand on his hips and licking his lips.

He leaned closer his ear "God how I wanted to undress you right now, Muds.... and fuck you doggy style while pulling his cape...." he went back to his normal position

"But as we can’t, shall we go right, love?" he asked sweetly going to the corridor showing him how his jeans were drawing his ass. If Murdoc wanted to tease, he would too.

Murdoc's eyes widened at the teasing. He wasn't expecting that at all.... "Well that's just cruel Stu." He said gruffly with a laugh. "You better watch it or everyone's going to see my hard on for you." He gestured to himself, showing how his white underwear was already showing a big of a hard on. They didn't leave much for the imagination.

"You better be making me promises for later or I'll murder you myself." He laughed and followed Stuart, staring at his ass. He thought about how he could easily bend the kid over and fuck him in the hallway without anyone else knowing, then he'd have to go on stage like that.... he bit his lip, blushing slightly.

"Cruel?" he chuckled "You're almost naked and _I’m_ being cruel?" he looked at him turning around and leaned closer. He pressed him against the nearest wall.

"Murder me, Muds....? You don’t know how to live without me......" he whispered into his ear. Who gonna take care of you when you have nightmares...? Or who's gonna give you morning kisses and...." he looked around and grabbed his boner on the underwear.

"Give you this hard on huh....?" he licked his earlobe. "Don’t forget when you’re on the stage that you’re mine, okay?" he said teasingly pressing him against the wall. He bit behind his ear, in a place he knew Murdoc would like.

He smiled to him pulling out "Now let's go to this stupid award. And come back quickly okay?" he turned to go with a wink. He pointed down "Use your cape to hide this huh...?"

When Stuart pushed him against the wall, he was speechless. He smirked. He was always delighted when Stuart was like this, especially when he was possessive like this.

He gave a small whimper when the singer grabbed him. He nodded and whispered at Stuart, "I'm yours, love. Only yours." He shivered when the singer nibbled him. He could feel his heart racing. This was incredibly cruel and he loved it.

When Stuart started walking away suggesting he cover his extreme hard on now with his cape, he huffed and did just that. "Holy fuck Dents. You're so mean...." he laughed.

Suddenly they were in the kitchen, running into Noodle and Russel. Murdoc pulled the cape around him tighter. The two saw them, Russel sighed and shook his head while Noodle giggled.

"Really man? That's what you're wearing in front of all those people?" Russel asked.

Murdoc huffed. "Of course! I am a god, I'll wear what I want." Russel just shook his head again, he knew it was pointless arguing with the man.

"I'm learning with the meanest...." he laughed out loud controlling himself about his own hard on.

Once in the kitchen Stuart smirked to Russel "Was all his idea... I told him to undress only when we reach there but he wanted to go from here...." he wrapped an arm around his shoulders "Poor Murdoc.... " he smirked knowing he would have to hide himself till he reached there.

"Is everyone ready? Noodle looked adorable with her guitar. He smiled to her. "It’s show time..." he said excitedly.


	28. MTV Award

Murdoc growled a warning at Stuart. If the man kept touching him, he'd never get rid of his boner. "Asshole." He whispered, but couldn't help but chuckle.

He kept the cape over him as they made their way to an SUV waiting to drive them to the award show. Noodle and Murdoc were able to put their guitars in their cases in the very back, while Russel's drums would be brought separately. They each got in, with Russel in the passenger seat and the other three in the back. Some random guy sent by their manager was driving them. Not very talkative.

He did give Murdoc a questioning look when he got in, probably wondering why he was half-naked. Murdoc didn't regret it though, and even his hard on went down eventually.

2D sat in the middle, while Noodle bounced excitedly on the on the seat next to him. She was excited to play their first gig. She always did so well, of course, she was excited. Murdoc smiled and looked out the window as they drove.

Stuart just smiled and loved seeing the youngest member of the band that happy. he remained silent and didn’t touch Murdoc anymore as he didn’t want him with a boner on the stage, he just eventually looked at him smiling. He was anxious himself. He caressed Noodle's hair offering her a smile.

To the guy who was driving he noticed his look and Stuart narrowed his eyes, clearly jealous, thinking he liked what he was seeing. He would hiss at him but no need, he was in an incredible good mood.

When they got to the place they were playing, they pulled to the front. They got to walk in the front surrounded by fans. Thankfully, little fences cut off their path so the crowd couldn't completely bombard them. There were other bands going in as well, others that would be playing at other times tonight. Gorillaz were scheduled to play the very first, as a sort of introduction to the award ceremony.

Murdoc smiled as he saw the crowds of people. His heart raced, as he was sure everyone else’s was. He looked back at Stuart and gave him a wink. When they were given the go ahead, they got out of the vehicle and screams erupted from the crowd. Murdoc knew this is where he belonged.

Someone was going to bring his and Noodle's guitars inside for them, all they had to do was go in and head back stage to get ready.

As they walked down the aisle between the screaming crowds, Murdoc worse the biggest smirk. His cape was open and he walked down confidently. He would wink at random women, stick his tongue out playfully, and even said a few hellos to some of the people. He even signed a few things.

Noodle and Russ were a little more reserved, but excited to talk to some of the crowd, signing things. They actually had more meaningful interactions with fans. Murdoc was more just playing his role and moved on. None of these birds interested him. He had Stuart and he was more excited to play. He did enjoy the fans though.

He did notice the crowd became even more rowdy once Stuart got closer. There were tons of signs for 2D, plenty of screams. Many women called for him, reaching out hands and other items for the blue haired pretty boy to sign.

Stuart smiled to Murdoc again hearing the shouts of the crowd.... He felt home.

The singer laughed seeing Murdoc posing and acting.... He giggled to that. He deserved all the recognizing after all he fought for.

Soon he noticed all the attentions were dragged to him and he felt a bit nervous. He waved to the girls clearly not interested but when he noticed Murdoc's face He drew closer him and hugged him from the side smiling.... wanted him to join.

"Its lad's band everyone, not mine, he's the owner...." He said in a louder tone smiling with Murdoc. He didn't care about fame or attention. He just got that ‘cuz he was pretty. He signed some stuff and took photos, most of them with Murdoc together. He hoped he didn't mind.

Even a woman tried to grab him from behind and kissed his face, leaving a red stain of lipstick on his cheek. He flushed, Stuart didn't see her coming.

He looked at Murdoc apologetically, mouthing 'I’m sorry’ the stain was really close his mouth and the girl screamed to everybody she kissed 2D. He wiped his face angrily and bowed his head in shame letting Murdoc go and hoping he wouldn't hit her in the face.

He didn’t mean to do it.... it just happened.

Murdoc was honestly surprised when Stuart hugged him and told the crowd it was his band. He was happy to hear that, he could have honestly cried. He wouldn't, but he could.

He was happy to take pictures with Stuart and even watched as the kid went off on his own a few times. He seemed to be doing okay, which meant it'd be a good show for him.

He snorted when he saw the girl kissed him, but stopped when he noticed the kid looked a little upset, wiping his face. He knew things like that were bound to happen, there were always a few fans like that. Murdoc definitely wasn't mad. Now if they started getting grabby, he'd have stepped in.

Murdoc wrapped his arm around Stuart's waist and pulled him close, smiling wide. The closest group of people to them squealed when they saw it. Murdoc winked at Stuart, hoping he'd know Murdoc wasn't mad.

He brought the bottom of his cape up and wiped the rest of the lipstick off, laughing. He turned to the crowd, not completely letting go of Stuart. He lifted a finger and waved it back and forth, smiling at the crowd, to which the crowd laughed and cheered.

"Take it easy on my singer girls! The boy's got someone and he's a little worried they'd be mad. He's gotta focus. Any and all kisses should go to Russel!" He laughed and pointed at the big man a little farther down. When the crowd became excited and turned to Russel, who was unsure why he was suddenly being surrounded, Murdoc guided Stuart inside quickly. He knew Noodle and Russel could handle the rest by themselves for now.

Murdoc leaned against the wall laughing and looking at Stuart. "You okay?"

Stuart blushed even harder when he told him he was taken, but thankfully Murdoc wasn’t mad. He behaved much better than the last time.

"I am, Muds, Thank you......" he looked at Russel drowning in girls through the window "Russ who's in trouble..." he chuckled. "Thankfully my ‘someone’ isn’t mad...." he winked to him.

He wiped a bit more his face "Gross, I wanted to see their faces if they knew I prefer an almost forty years old green man......" he chuckled. He would be mad if a girl kissed him that way. At least Murdoc wasn’t a crazy jealous boyfriend. "Girls make me sick." he grimaced.

He looked to the sides and ran with Murdoc to a darker part of the room kissing him hard. He snogged him so hard even his hat fell on the floor when he tangled his fingers through his hair.

 "I know we can’t do it in front of everybody " he said when he broke the kiss jealous that crazy bitch stole a kiss from him and everyone saw it "Just to wish good luck...... let's have a blast Mu’doc..." he said letting him go after a quick peck and heading to the dressing rooms to warm up his voice a bit.

Murdoc looked put the window at Russel and snorted. "He'll be fine." He adjusted his hat and cape. He hadn't liked anyone touching Stuart, but he knew it was bound to happen. The kid was popular, and he wasn't going to let it ruin their day.

He watched Stuart wipe his face more and laughed at his statement. "I'm sure they'd be heartbroken at the very least, but that won't stop them from still trying to grab ya, love."

He made a small surprised noise as Stu dragged him to a more secluded dark corner and kissed Murdoc hard. He kissed him back excitedly, his hands holding onto the singer’s hips, while he ran his hands through Murdoc's hair. His hat fell and Stuart pulled away, leaving a breathless and dazed Murdoc to stare up at him, looking almost drunk and happy.

He watched as Stuart walked away, still in a bit of a daze. He finally bent down and grabbed his hat, fixing his hair and putting the hat on. Then Noodle and Russel came in, Russel looked disheveled. Probably from the sudden attack of women. Noodle looked as happy as ever, and even a bit calmer. Murdoc smiled at them.

"You guys ready?" He asked.

"Yes, where is 2D?" Noodle nodded and asked, looking around.

"He's off warming up his voice. Shall we go get ready?" Murdoc asked, leading the way to behind the stage. They still had another house before the thing even started letting people in. The three worked on setting up their instruments and making sure they were tuned.

Murdoc's heart was racing, he was incredibly excited. Stuart kept crossing his mind, making him smile. He was lucky to have that kid.

Stuart went to the room ‘cuz it was a bit more silent there and he could make his weird warming up noises at peace without odd looks at him. Soon he was growing up nervous. He liked all the adrenaline but deep inside he was really scared of failing.

Before going to stage, he grabbed the pills into his pocked taking some of them. He felt   a bit more confident now. He went outside looking for the others to see if Russel was alive after all. He followed the noises of instruments being tuned. He had already tuned his voice.

"Hey everyone sorry I was puking...." he joked leaning closer them. He covertly winked to Murdoc seeing if he had a boner... Would be a shame in front of a crowd. Thankfully, no. "Ready when you are...." he told all of them softly.

Murdoc smiled at Stuart when he walked in. He could hear people starting to come in to take their seats. They couldn't see them as the curtain was drawn down, but they could hear them. At the same time, a huge group of half-naked women came in to sit and lay in the front part of the stage, similar to the video.

Murdoc saw a few of the women from the video shoot and they waved at him. He frowned and turned around. Thank Satan they wouldn't be touching him this time, he didn't want sore nipples again.

He walked over to Stuart and put a hand on his arm. “You doing okay?" He whispered, looking up at the boy.

Stuart frowned to them. When he was sure they were looking he quickly kissed his cheek fondly, daring to show them he was taken. Different from the last time he would stand for Murdoc. No one besides them Noodle and Russel were looking so why not a bit of affection? he smirked victoriously.

"Better now...." he whispered to him "Just a bit nervous.... Had been a while." he confessed smiling. "And you Sir 'I was born ready'?" he joked a bit giving him a playful shove. He could already hear the screams and his heart was beating fast.

Murdoc blushed and put a hand up fondly where Stuart had kissed him. He smiled affectionately at the kid. The women who did see looked at them curiously, but Murdoc didn't care.

He gave a soft laugh when he shoved him. "I'm not gonna lie.... I'm a bit nervous this time...." he gulped and smiled. He was nervous, it'd been a while since they'd played in front of a crowd.

Suddenly, a stage manager came out and started directing everyone to their spots. First he had Russel sit at his drums on the stage on a platform. Then Noodle was instructed that she wouldn't be coming out till the guitar solo to sit on the stool that's by the microphone. Stuart would wait off stage till the curtain went up then he'd walk out and sing. Murdoc was instructed to go to the far side of the stage. He'd be hooked up to a few wires again to be able to rise up like in the video.

Murdoc gave Stuart one last smile before heading to his spot. He knew they'd be fine. They had practiced a million times already. He was ready.

He laid on the floor with his base as they hooked two thin wires on him that would come off after he lifted up and unhooked them real quick. His heart was racing like crazy. Suddenly the announcer, over the speakers, talk to the crowd, eventually announcing the Gorillaz.

The crowd went wild and the curtain went up. Murdoc gripped his bass tightly. A giant screen started playing the video they hadn't seen completely after edits yet. Murdoc could see that the stage manager was telling Stuart to get out onto the stage.

Stuart was nervous too, but someway knowing that Murdoc was too made him less worried. He felt the adrenaline through his veins and his heart on his throat.

Once the curtains were up, he entered the stage and before reaching the mic he stumbled, almost falling flat on his face. Soon he put his shit together and went for the mic. The bloody thing was on the floor so he stepped for it to lift and soon caught it.... it was extremely awkward but the crowd seemed to enjoy.

That crazy bitch was in the first row screaming for him. Soon the music started and he remained with his calm smile. Holding the mic, ready to sing.

Murdoc watched as Stuart tripped and he held his breath. Then he lifted the mic with his foot, missing it a couple times. The crowd seemed to love it so he just smiled.

Soon Stuart started singing, the video started and Murdoc was risen from the floor while playing. When his feet hit the ground, he opened his mouth wide and tucked his tongue out, shaking it and wagging his tongue playfully. He then stood up and kept playing, looking over at Stuart.

He walked around playing, getting closer to Stuart as he sang. He did different things like hip thrusting with his bass and even licking his bass as he played. He was in the moment, he loved it.

Stuart was totally calm after a while. He sang as he always did steady and well.... when the part of de la soul came he grabbed his phone looking through it and taking some glances to Murdoc from time to time, always smiling. He did that to keep calm. And covertly took a photo of Murdoc with it.

He was pretty nasty behaving that way but all Stuart could think when the girls were screaming for him was "That's my man." As long as Murdoc was happy on the stage, he was satisfied.

Murdoc was on cloud nine. He was so happy, he didn't even notice Stu taking a picture of him. He was sweating, but didn't care. He looked at Stuart and felt a sweltering love in his chest for him. He walked over to the singer, getting close and hip thrusting dangerously close to him while he continued to play. He was smiling deviously and staring into the singer’s eyes.

Stuart took his phone away paying attention to Murdoc while Noodle entered on the stage for her part.... he smiled to him deviously and licked his lips. He mouthed, "I love you" but all the lights and attentions were on Noodle while she played with her guitar.

He leaned closer him "dancing" the lewd way Murdoc was near him. Always staring into his eyes. He went to his ear pretending his was telling him something and quickly kissed him, not bothering he was sweaty. He pulled off him with a smile. He couldn’t wait to take Murdoc home and fuck him.

Murdoc stood looking at Stuart, once again a little dazed. Everything seemed to move in slow motion for him. Without thinking, he grabbed Stuart's arm as the singer started to walk away. He pulled him back to him quickly and grabbed him by his collar, pulling him down for a deep kiss. Then he let go and walked to the other side of the stage and started playing again after Noodle's solo, as if nothing happened.

Murdoc actually couldn't believe what he'd just done on stage, even after he had lectured Stuart yesterday. He tried to play it off as meaning to do it and he kept acting like nothing happened. He controlled himself from shaking. What the hell did he just do?!

Stuart's eyes doubled the size and he froze for a moment.... he loved that but now he needed to sing the next part of the song.... what was that again? Fuck Noodle already finished.

He took a deep breath and focused in singing again, thinking he could just faint anytime now. He felt like screaming, running, yelling.... he was thrilled and happy at the same time. Murdoc kissed him. in front of everybody, how good was that? He smiled widely to him.

Once De La Soul was back and Stuart looked at Murdoc for a while with a hand on his chest and another on his lips letting the mic away. He wasn’t feeling good from nervousness. Soon the song was over Stuart rushed outta the stage to the dressing room once again.

Murdoc managed to finish the song without any issues, his heart racing the entire time. He watched as Stuart rushed off the stage. He was extremely worried. He ran after the kid, putting his bass down on a stand so he could reach him quicker.

He got tons of compliments from a bunch of people back stage, telling him he did great, the band did great, etc. He even had a few people ask about the kiss. Shit. People did see it.... he bit his lip, ignoring everyone, and ran to the dressing room. He was sure Stuart was here.

He knocked/banged on the door, not wanting to just bust in. "Stuart? Are you in there?" He asked. He was shaking now, the adrenaline of the enweaving his system.

The door was open but the singer was too busy kneeling in front of the toilet and puking everything he ate that day. He got so nervous before and after the show, he threw up.

"C-come in Muds.... I'm in the bathroom...." he wanted to shout for him stop that banging and enter soon but all he managed to say from where he was on the floor was that, before a new wave of nausea hit him.

His hair was sticky from sweat and he was shaking, in the middle of a panic attack. His face was white as snow and his head began hurting when the adrenaline left his system.

Murdoc heard him say something then heard him wrenching. He winced and opened the door, going to Stuart quickly. He grabbed a wet rag and held it against Stuart's neck as he  hurled. He took the rag and wiped the kid’s forehead to get rid of the sweat when he wasn't.

"Stuart, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, love. I shouldn't have surprised you like that. I'm so incredibly sorry. I don't know what happened." Murdoc pleaded. He didn't think Stuart would have this kind of reaction. He rubbed the boys back soothingly as he kept puking, repeating his apologies soothingly. He felt horrible.

Stuart smiled once he managed to stop puking...... "I'm.... I'm not mad Muds...." he smiled after wiping his mouth "I just got nervous,.... I wanted to puke even before the show.... you actually helped me...." he chuckled weakly.

He placed his clean hand on his shoulder. "I know what happened.... you kissed me in front of a crowd.... in front of all our fans, y’know that?" his smile was even bigger now.... "You know why I woke up with a boner Muds...? I dreamed of that..." he said leaning against the wall as he felt weak now.

He poked his nose, "I'm sorry my body reacted this way love.... I shouldn’t have taken so many pills before it......" he closed his eyes feeling dizzy. "It's not your fault, I'm really happy...." he meant that.

Murdoc took a small sigh of relief, realizing Stuart wasn't mad at him. That was the best news. He blushed when he told him about his dream.

"R-really?" He crawled over to Stuart, leaning against the wall with him. He put the rag against Stuart's forehead to help him. He smiled at the boy.

"You really shouldn't take so many pills, _dullard_." He joked, using his old nickname. "We actually did that...." he whispered, thinking back to what just happened. He buried his face into Stuart's shoulder.

"Oh my Satan, we kissed on live TV...." he said muffled into his shoulder. He had just argued with him last night about it.

"Christ, I'm so sorry for getting mad at you last night. I honestly wasn't going to do it but when you got close and the passion and adrenalin just took over...." he said, still shocked.

Stuart began laughing wildly he placed a hand on his belly that was hurting. "Fucking hell you did it.... you're a bloody delinquent you old Goth." he wrapped an arm around him pressing him close. Seeing his adorable red face.

"Now we'll have to deal with the consequences sweetheart..." he joked. "I don’t regret anything do you....?" he laughed and covered his face with his hand. "God we're sitting on the floor I'm covered in puke and you're still with me...." that was a ridiculous situation. "I think that's true love, Muds...."

"Don’t be sorry...... I love your wildness.... I love to know you can’t control yourself when close to me...." he teased. "I love you." he whispered closing his eyes and resting his head against the wall feeling everything spinning. His hand went to his hair caressing it.

Murdoc chuckled and shook his head. "No I don't regret it.... but if we are going to say anything it has to be you that says it...... ‘kay? You.... sound better than I do when it comes to telling people about us. Deal?" He said, grabbing his hand and kissing it.

"You know I'd be by you no matter what.... believe me.... I've been covered in puke before. Big deal." Murdoc laughed. "I love you too Stu." He said.

After a few minutes of letting Stu rest for a moment, Murdoc got up and helped Stuart up. "Sorry I'm not bigger to be able to carry you normally." He said turning around and having Stuart hop onto his back for a piggyback ride. He carried Stuart out of the dressing room, looking for Noodle and Rus.

"Deal Muds...." he whispered. He didn’t know what he would say but for now he just focused in feeling better. Soon he hopped on his back and looked for the others, did they saw the kiss? He bit his lip thinking about it. "If my mouth wasn’t with puke I would kiss you again...." he whispered into his ear laughing when Murdoc grabbed him.

Murdoc chuckled, "we can kiss all you want once we get you some mouth wash." He finally saw Russel in a group and saw Noodle next to her. When they saw him, he nodded to the exit and they nodded, understanding.

They all managed to get to the SUV that they'd come in. He made sure Stuart got into the middle before turning to Noodle and making sure she got their guitars. She nodded with a smile and then they got in, each next to Stuart. It was a quiet ride home.

Noodle kept peaking at Stuart, trying to see if he was okay. She also kept peaking at Murdoc, a grin riding her lips. Murdoc had Stuart lying against his shoulder, caressing his hair, so he didn't bother trying to see what Noodle was grinning about. He had an idea, but he didn't feel like bringing it up right now.

Stuart still felt weak, now that he puked everything he felt better but still weak. He didn’t notice Noodle grinning at all he was focusing on Murdoc. Soon they were home and he would be able to finally go outta the car. He wanted Murdoc to carry him again but it was a little too much so he managed to walk himself smiling to him.

there he noticed Noodle "I'm okay Noods, I just got nervous.... that's all...." he smiled at her curious eyes. "Muds I'm heading to my room...... not feeling very well..." he told him with a smile and patted his shoulder turning to go upstairs.

"W-wait, let me help you at least...." Murdoc said going up next to Stu and holding onto his elbow. In the background somewhere he heard Noodle squeak, which he ignored. He made sure he didn't fall down the stairs.

He guided Stuart to his room and helped him get into his bed to rest a little. Once Stuart was comfortable he grabbed a wet wash rag from his bathroom, putting it on Stuart's forehead. Then he ran back to the kitchen, where Noodle and Russ were. They looked up at him.

"Dude, you gonna get dressed or are you just going to wear that forever?" Russel asked. Murdoc hadn't even noticed he was still only in his underwear and boots.

"Shut it, Russ. I'll change, I just have to make sure Stuart is okay." He responded, to which he heard a giggle and a laugh from behind him. He growled and looked at the two who were smiling at him teasingly. He blushed and continued working on what he was doing.  He was getting toast and water.

"Muds.... We saw what happened on stage.... everyone did...." Russel said. "What do you want to do about that?" Murdoc stopped and sighed, leaning on the counter.

"We tell the truth I suppose Russ." He finally said without looking at them. "But it'll be Stuart who says it to the press, yeah?" The two didn't say anything. He just grabbed his toast and water and gave them one final look.

"I like him guys.... I don't regret anything.... if that's what you're wondering." he said, then turned and walked back to Stuart's room. He came in and set the toast and water by his bed. He sat next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Eat when you can okay? And drink. I'm gonna give you some time, meet me in my Winnie when you feel better, yeah?" He whispered.

Stuart opened his eyes and looked at him. "Sure Muds I'll.... I'm sorry...." he whispered back "thank you for taking care of me...." he smiled weakly. "Can I have a hug before you leave....?" he wanted a kiss but he didn’t washed his mouth yet. He lifted his arms up childishly. why on the Winnie? He wondered....

Murdoc smiled and kissed his forehead then gave him a hug. "Of course, Stu." He pet his hair one last time. "Now rest, yeah?" He slowly got up and left, smiling at Stu before closing the door.

He didn't want to leave him, but he did need to change and the singer needed to rest. He went to the Winnie and changed back into his sweats from Stuart, leaving his shirt off. He hung up the cape and hat. Them he sat at his little table and started drinking.

He hadn't drank for a while, being good with Stuart. He needed it right now to calm down. He couldn't believe he had done that.... he didn't regret it at all, like he said. But he couldn’t believe it. This was completely new ground for him and he hoped it wouldn't stress Stuart out any.

Stuart nodded when he told him to rest. He wanted to sleep but he refused to. He wouldn't let Murdoc waiting. Soon he stood up, ate what he brought him and drank the water.

He felt slightly better and decided to take a shower. He was still smelling like puke and sweat. While washing his body he remembered the exact moment when Murdoc kissed him and smiled. It was amazing he felt so alive.... He felt so Murdoc's like he belonged to him that was true someway. The face of that crazy bitch dropped when she saw it.

Soon he was all dressed up and was smelling good. He put a long sleeved shirt and sweats pants he even looked thinner inside them. He washed his mouth 3 times and was ready to go to the Winnie. He looked like he was going on a date.

When he was out, he caressed Cortez a bit telling him what they did that day and the bird seemed happy for them. He offered him another fruit that he was pleased to eat.

Soon he knocked his door waiting for him with a big fond smile.


	29. Dominance

Murdoc heard the knock and got up, a little tipsy. He wasn't expecting anyone, especially Stuart. He thought he'd still be resting. He opened the door slowly and grinned wide when he saw it was Stu.

"My love, are you okay? Did you rest any? I-I'm sorry I wasn't expecting you so early." He opened the door and let Stuart come in. He gave him a big hug and noticed he smelled better.

"Did you shower?" Murdoc asked.

Stuart felt his heart warm with all his questions.... "Yes I am, thanks to you, love...." He smiled even more with that hug "well if you want I can come back later...." He said softly.

 "I rested enough and I showered.... wouldn't come to see my boyfriend smelling of puke...." He chuckled. "And you? Rested?" He actually felt much better now.

Murdoc beamed, "Good, good! No, don't leave! Come, sit down love." He said affectionately. He almost tripped on Stuart's sweats again and cursed a bit, pulling them up. He guided Stuart to the table and sat across from him.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." He said. "I haven't really rested, just had something to drink." He shook the whiskey bottle and chuckled, hoping Stuart wouldn't be mad at him.

"You know how it's my vice.... sorry." He said, looking down. He should be helping Stuart right now, not drinking.

Stuart laughed at those sweatpants. He looked at the whiskey "No problem Muds. I know it's your vice.... I have vice in pills too. I noticed you haven't been drinking in a while and I smelled that when you opened the door love. I know when you’re drinking." He looked at him sitting at the table.

"And I know too that you drink when you're sad or have something bothering or stressing you.... are that anything wrong, Muds?" He asked softly. If Murdoc got drunk into his Winnie he would manage to take care of him so everything would be fine. He didn't like Murdoc drinking outside that he could get hurt and he didn't like people starring. It wasn't really an issue, Stuart could deal with that.

"You don't have to hide from me you want to drink, Muds...." He told him with a smile. "The problem is the reason." He said seriously. "Did I do something wrong?"

Murdoc shook his head quickly, "No Stuart, not at all. I'm just a little stressed is all, truly. You know, I've never been in a relationship.... it's just all new ground for me, you know? I love it! Just nervous is all love." He said.

He grabbed onto Stuart's hands across the table and held them tightly. "I do love you Stu. I never knew what that was, a-and now I do.... I wish I could have had it with you sooner." He smiled wide. He kissed both hands.

"Christ, I wish I would have met you earlier in my life, but you would have been so young." He snorted. "I would have been.... 18.... and you.... 6. Shit." He rolled his eyes. He felt old now.

Stuart smiled to him fondly. As he wasn't drunk he could think things properly and he knew Murdoc was growing a bit emotional now.

“I wish that too.... you were 12 I was being born...." He chuckled. "I don't mind it, always liked the fact you were older than me...."He shrugged. Stuart only used this fact to joke and tease him. He was an adolescent and Murdoc was already 31 when they met. "I'll be always our boy...." he chuckled.

"I know you can't go back in time.... But we can start something wonderful for now on...." He squeezed his hand "don't think about the past love.... think about the future...." He blushed "A future with me, if you want...."

Murdoc snorted and smiled. He was feeling a little giggly from the drinking. "How the hell did I get so lucky?" He hadn’to go through so much shit, he thought for sure that was just going to be his life forever. Then Stuart came in and gave him the chance for, not only a band, but some happiness.

"You are amazing." He said, getting up and going to sit on Stuart's lap. He gave him a big kiss and ran his hands though the kid’s hair.

"You're MY singer." He said, giving him another kiss. "MY love. My Bluebird. MINE." He said putting his forehead against Stuart's and looking into his eyes.

Stuart shivered when he sat on his lap.... He spread his legs a bit and held him close.... "Only yours.... I don't want to be anyone else's Mu’doc...." He told him with a smile returning his kisses.

He run his fingers through his hair "You're mine Mu’doc.... my love... my bastard bass player ... my sex god.... for life. You belong to me.... And I'm so happy that.... with so many people out there you chose me...." He closed his eyes pressing his forehead against his "Muds...." He whispered feeling his heart race and bit his lip.

He knew Murdoc was drunk right now.... But he sounded so honest he could live with that.

Murdoc smiled and gave him a hug, sighing happily. He loved when he was just barely drunk, it gave him a happy little high usually. And this was the perfect time for one. He could be more expressive and not feel like holding back. It helped with Stuart.

"Oh!" He sat up. "Did you say you ate?" He asked, brushing Stuart's hair out of his face. He wanted to make sure Stuart had his strength back, especially if they decided to have some fun tonight.

"I did... what you brought me...." He told him excitedly "Why, are you hungry?" He said curiously not noticing the other man's idea.

Murdoc smiled and kissed him again. This time a little more passionately. "You teased me this morning. I think you owe me, love." He whispered. He then smirked and bit his bottom lip. He then gripped his hair, and pulled his back so he could get to his neck. He didn't bite but he kissed all the way down and back up to his jawline.

His other hand went to his hip under his shirt and moved up his side. He caressed him till he got to his nipple, then played with it a bit.

Stuart smiled "Oh I know what I did Muds...." He said kissing him back passionately. He tilted his head so Murdoc would have more room to kiss him.

"You said you have toys too right...." He moaned with him playing with his nipple. His body instinctively leaned into his touch needing more. "God how I wish you could mark me...." He whispered with a smile.

Murdoc smiled deviously at him. "Oh don't worry, I will." He quickly hopped off Stuart. "Wait there." He yelled back. He went to his closet and grabbed a big box of his toys.

He brought it out and set everything neatly onto his table. He had quite an impressive collection from over the years. He had vibrators, dildos, collars, cuffs, candles for dripping the wax onto someone, plugs, blindfolds, ropes, gags whips, and clamps. He looked at Stuart, excited.

"So.... which would you like to start with?" He asked.

Stuart's eyes widened to the sizes and colors he had.... "God, Murdoc how many birds run away from fear when you showed this....?" He chuckled.

"Well you said you would introduce me to this world.... And you asked me if I wanted to try on you first to be comfortable  ...." he looked at him "So you pick, and you teach me, Muds...." He bit his lip, his eyes shining. He was nervous again. "Half of what is there I don't know how to use...."

Murdoc laughed, "You'd be surprised. A lot of the girls I used to half quickies with were pretty kinky." He shrugged. They usually never meant anything to him, so he never thought about it.

He put his hand on Stuart's face. "No need to be nervous love. We'll do it on me first and I'll show you, yeah?" He leaned down and kissed him, then he grabbed a collar and put it on around his own neck, making sure it wasn't too tight. Then he attached a leash and handed the end of it to Stuart.

"See? Not too bad, yeah? Now I'm a pet." He laughed and winked. He then handed a pair of cuffs to Stuart. "Here you are, sir." He played. "Now you can cuff me if you want." He looked around at the other things. "If you have any questions, go ahead and ask." He smiled.

Stuart looked to the stuff "B-but pets aren't suppose to be cuffed Muds...." He was naive but he liked the collar idea. He looked to the other stuff.... "What is this....?" He asked pointing to the candle.... Maybe this night he wouldn't play with anything at all Stuart would question and Murdoc answer.

Murdoc snorted, "No, pets are supposed to do what you command, and if they don't they get cuffed and punished." He winked. He knew Stuart was naive, but sweet Satan... he couldn't believe no one ever showed him this stuff.

He grabbed the candle, "This you burn and let the wax drip onto the person. It's a special wax that melts at a lower temperature than a regular wax. That way it causes a little pain, but nothing serious. Here. Watch."

He grabbed his lighter and lit the candle. Then he held it over his bare chest, a smile on his face. Soon the wax dripped onto his chest, rolling over his chest an inch then hardening. He inhaled sharply for a second when it hit, then gave a lowly seductive growl while looking at Stuart.

Stuart swallowed hard he didn't know people did that.... it seemed it burned...... But that growl was really a turn on.... He was determined. "Muds...  I trust you.... better if you show me how those things work so I can learn...." He told him seriously Afraid he would do something wrong. He was nervous and scared.

"When I learn I do with you properly...." He said taking the collar from him and placing on himself. "See now I'm a pet.... I guess..." He had the intelligence of one of course. "Do what you want with me Muds.... I'll obey." Maybe he wasn't born to be a top...."Do we have to have a safe word or sorta....?" He bit his lip blushing.

Murdoc smiled. "You'll get used to it. You may like something, may not like other things. That’s okay, you'll learn." He grabbed Stuart's wrist and pulled it towards him, holding the candle over it. It dripped onto Stuart's arm.

"See? Not too hot right?" He blew out the candle and set it aside. He smirked, "Let’s make a safe word, yeah? Usually, for starters I like to use the color system. If you are kind of nervous and want me to go slower, you say 'yellow'. Now if you want me to stop immediately, you say 'red'. I'd never do something to you after you say red, I'll go slower with yellow. Okay? Now when you have this collar on, you are my pet. You listen to me. My first command is to strip. Completely." He said, pulling on the leash attached to the collar to have Stuart stand in front of him.

It wasn't that hot really. He smiled. He wondered how it would feel in another parts of his body. Stuart listened to the colors.... it made sense and he would remember.

He nodded and began taking off his clothes. It was kinda simple until now. "If I don't behave I get punished right....?" He asked pulling his pants down He was already shirtless.

Murdoc nodded, a smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, and if you listen you get rewarded. Like now." He pulled him close by the leash and gave him a sweet seductive kiss.

He then boxed up the toys and brought the box with him to the bedroom. He tugged on Stuart's leash telling him to follow. He had Stuart stand at the end of the bed and wait. Murdoc put the box down and grabbed an anal plug. He pulled Stuart and leaned him over the bed, so his ass was sticking out. He put a little lube on the plug and on his finger. He slowly fingered the kid to open him slightly.

"This plug will help loosen you up for me." He explained. The plug started thin then get much larger at the end so it'd stay in. He slowly slid the plug into his ass, smacking him on the ass playfully when it went in and stayed in. "How does that feel?” He asked

Stuart liked the reward thing. He wanted to be a good pet. The best one Murdoc ever had. So he followed him and laid on the bed as he asked.

He liked the plug, but he would much prefer Murdoc right now. He nodded to his explanation and yelped to that smack.

"Good...." He whispered. He wanted to ask for more but was afraid of punishment still. He just smiled to him with his adorable red face.

Murdoc smiled and sat down, he had the singer straddle his lap, grabbing his ass and pulling him close. He still had his sweats on, so they weren't directly contacting each other, but he was hard and so was Stuart. He smirked.

He pet his hair and brought him down for a kiss. "Anything else you were curious about love?" He whispered. "Also, no touching yourself, got it? Not till I say so."

Stuart shook his head "Till now no, love. If I have anything I am I'll ask, Muds." He whispered back smiling and letting out a low moan when he sat down.... the plug wasn't big enough to hit his prostate but it was good either way... And now he noticed Murdoc was hard to so he smiled.

 He placed his both arms on his back crossed so this way would be more difficult for him to touch himself. "But may I touch you....?" He asked for permission.

Murdoc grinned from ear to ear. "Of course! You're always allowed to touch me." He smiled and kissed the boys jaw line, moving up towards his ear and back down.

He gently pushed Stuart off him and quickly took his pants and underwear off, displaying himself for Stuart. "What did you have in mind?" He smiled at the singer. "You can do whatever you want to me.... just can't touch yourself. You might win some extra favors with me if you use your mouth." He hinted. He gave Stuart a wink and smiled.

Stuart smirked at least he could touch Murdoc.... "May I ask for things I want....?" He said softly kneeling in front of him and licking his lips. His hands were still on the back of his body and his eyes shone with anticipation

Murdoc thought about it. "You can ask.... doesn't mean you'll get it." He smiled deviously and put his hand on the side of Stuart's face. He felt really powerful here, the kid was a natural submissive. Murdoc liked to be submissive occasionally and Stuart liked to be dominant occasionally. They were perfect for each other.

"You're so beautiful down there on your knees." Murdoc teased as he stroked his hair. "So.... was there something you wanted to ask me for?" He asked before he forgot.

He blushed to his compliment and nodded "I want to suck you.... Muds.... But more.... I want you to fuck my mouth...." He said swallowing hard "P-pull the leash while doing that.... I think I'll like it...." He whispered but sounding confident with a sweet smile.

Murdoc grinned from ear to ear. "I can do that love. Here's how you do this, because you obviously won't be able to say anything. Hold onto my left hand." He offered his hand to Stuart. "You hold onto it, if I'm doing something you want me to stop doing, you let go of my hand and I'll stop. Got it?" He asked as he pulled Stuart closer to him by the leash, Murdoc's cock directly in his face.

Stuart got that pretty fast. He didn't even quite remember he could actually stop it when he wanted.... But thank God Murdoc was there to help and take care of him.

He smiled and engulfed him letting the hand on his back go. One he held Murdoc's left on and the other he used on his thigh for balance.

He began slowly bobbing his head looking up to him all the time. Holding his hand turned everything a bit more.... Intimate and Stuart loved that.

Soon he was in a steady blowjob ready for Murdoc do whatever he wanted with him

Murdoc grunted as Stuart took him in, one hand being held by Stuart, the other holding the leash. It felt amazing, the kid was good. After a few minutes of Stuart doing this he gripped the leash tighter.

"Okay, Stuart. Remember what I said love." He said as he pulled the leash, forcing the singer forward. His dick went into his mouth deeper and he had Stuart hold it there a minute, struggling for air, untill be finally let off the leash.

Then he started doing it quicker, only this time he brought his free hand up to the back of Stuart's head and used it to guide him and push him down over Murdoc's dick.

He knew the kid is going to be struggling to breathe, but he didn't feel his hand let go yet, so he continued. He could feel his dick slide all the way down Stuart's throat and he'd hold it there. He could tell it was also getting sloppier for Stuart. There was drool all over his chin.

Stuart noticed he changed a bit what he was doing. He squeezed his left hand to the new sensation.

It was hard to breathe and tight around his neck.... but he didn't mind. Was what he actually asked for. He let himself drool and when his dick hit the back of his throat some tears came to his eyes falling immediately. But it was good.

He squeezed his tight too and closed his void eyes. His own cock twitched and he desperately wanted to touch himself. But as he wasn't allowed he kept still with his mouth as opened as he could so Murdoc could fuck it.

With the hand on his thigh, he guided Murdoc's hand that was in his hair back to the leash saying he could pull it as much as he wanted. He was his pet right?

Murdoc knew he was close. Seeing the singer as a drooling, crying mess was more of a turn on than he thought it'd be. When the singer moved his hand to the leash, Murdoc thought he'd have some fun now.

He grabbed the leash, but instead of pulling Stuart forward, he pulled him up towards Murdoc's face. "Did I say you could move my hand, Bluebird?"

Stuart bit his lip "No you didn't." He said gasping. "I'm sorry." He whispered looking down and taking some deep breaths. His both arms went to his back once again.

Murdoc smirked, "You know what that means, yeah?" Murdoc was really getting into this type of play, he wasn't sure he would with Stuart. But, like he thought before, Stuart made a good submissive.

He stood up and went to his closet. He grabbed what looked almost like a thin pool cue. It was much more flexible and not quite as long. He gave his hand a little smack and it was fast and sharp, but he was able to control it so it didn't hurt as much as it could.

He looked at Stuart with a wicked smile, "Lay across the bed, love. Lay on your stomach." He ordered. "Now you get to see what punishment is like."

Stuart flinched with that sound. But he kept looking down and nodded laying on the bed silently his hands still on his back.

His cock was so hard that when he laid down He let out a soft moan desperate to touch himself. He swallowed hard and hid his face from Murdoc. He was scared yet horny as hell desperate for Murdoc.

Even the plug moved slightly when he laid down clenching his walls around it from fear.

Murdoc walked over to Stuart and ran a finger gently over Stuarts back and down to his ass. He knew Stuart was getting desperate and that's exactly how he wanted him.

"Now Stuart, remember your safe words. This one you're going to count out. Got it? So each time I hit you, you will count out loud. If you mess up or don't do it, I'm starting over. We're only going to five tonight." Nothing extreme and he would be able to make the singer.

He lifted the thin rod and brought it down on Stuart’s ass. It made a sharp smacking sound, which should be only slightly painful, but not unbearable. He waited for Stuart to count. Honestly, even if the kid forgot or messed up he probably wouldn't start over. Not during their first time.

Stuart nodded lifting his head or Murdoc wouldn’t be able to hear him. 5 he could bear, wasn’t something that hard he thought.

He flinched again and started trembling when he started. It didn’t hurt a lot actually, the noise was much louder than the pain. He was just overthinking like always. "One..." he said out loud the best he could.

He knew it was sex and it was suppose to be fun and enjoyable but after so many times of Murdoc raising his fists to him, Stuart would have to learn that he wasn’t spanking him ‘cuz he was mean, it was just a game. He shouldn’t be scared.

It began to sting and he remembered how the bites Murdoc gave him were good and he enjoyed. He opened his eyes waiting for the next, the position he was the collar was a bit too tight and it was hard to speak but he would obey.

Murdoc smiled after he counted the first one. Then he did it again and was pleased when the singer counted the second one. Murdoc thought the singer was doing such a good job, he was a bit surprised.

He saw Stuart trembling slightly and put a hand reassuringly on his back but didn't say anything. He had to wait till after the fifth one before he could praise him. He hit him two more times, with Stuart counting each one.

Finally, he hit him with the fifth and final one. He waited for the singer to count it before he put the rod away.

"Five" he said finally proud of his good work and smiled. His rear was burning but he was happy he behaved for Murdoc. He didn’t move a muscle as Murdoc didn’t allow him. Just breathing to calm himself. His body untensed and he finally relaxed hiding his face again.

For some reason his cock was painfully hard, maybe his body reacted in a good way with pain, but his mind needed to follow that still. He wanted to beg for Murdoc do anything. He wanted to say he needed him, but he kept shut, afraid of another punishment so he bit his lip hoping the Satanist was satisfied with his punishment.

Murdoc smiled and put the rod away. He walked back over to Stuart and gently rubbed where he'd hit him. Rubbing the stinging pain away. He also used this time to praise Stuart.

"You did so well, love. Truly. I'm so proud of you." He said, as he went up to pet his wild blue hair. He then grabbed Stuart and flipped him over onto his back. He then moved him towards the edge of the bed so his ass was almost hanging off. He then proceeded to get in between his legs and quickly took Stuart into his mouth.

He gave him an incredibly sloppy blowjob. He loved how hard the singer already was, apparently he had enjoyed the pain a little. He used his tongue to wrap around the singer as he got him in deep. He stared at the singer’s face the entire time, while caressing his thighs on either side of his head.

Stuart smiled that he was happy. He was a good boy in the end. He moved his arms a little so now they were on his sides. He gripped the sheets strongly and let out a loud "Mu’doc" when he felt that tongue around him.

He almost fell from the bed when he lost strength of his legs. Now he was assimilating pain with pleasure and it was so good. He let his head fall and his eyes roll to the back of his head. "Please...." he whispered letting a trembling hand on his hair caressing it. He loved the way Murdoc took him in.... Every time he did it so well.

He weakly moved his face down to look into his eyes. They were pleading for Murdoc to make the singer his and take off that plug. He could pull the leash while fucking him, Stuart wouldn’t mind.... he just desperately wanted him.

Murdoc saw those eyes and immediately felt his cock twitch. He figured that it was probably time. He didn't think he'd hold out much longer.

He took his mouth off Stuart, and flipped him back around so he was essentially leaning over the bed, feet on the ground, ass towards Murdoc. He bit his lip, Stuart's ass had five red lines across it and it looked beautiful on his pale skin.

He grabbed the end of the plug and pulled it out slowly. 2D was ready to go now. He grabbed some more lube and put some on his cock. He then slowly put himself against Stuart's entrance and pushed in all the way, letting out a small grunt of pleasure as he did so.

He grabbed the leash connected to Stuart's collar and pulled back on it, choking him just a little, but not too much to hurt or cause him to pass out. He then started thrusting into him repeatedly, while he held the leash.

Stuart moaned again when he was turned around and when the plug was taken off. All he could have asked for, again his body relaxed.

Stuart yelped when he noticed that this time was Murdoc all the way into him. Before he could say anything he felt the leash being pulled and just choked a sob.

He held the sheets of Murdoc's Winnie for his dear life and began crying in pleasure. he cursed, moaned his name, begged for more, while he felt Murdoc slamming into him in a steady pace.... his toes curled and he wouldn’t last longer.

"Muds....... I...... I'm gonna...... Please......" he couldn’t say much choked as he was, but he didn’t know if he was allowed to cum just yet. His cock throbbed and he let out another cry closing his eyes when he felt it was too much.

Murdoc was delighted at the noises coming from Stuart. The sounds turned him on so much, he knew he wouldn't last long at all. He knew the singer wouldn’t last long at all, he was begging already.

As he slammed into the singer, he leaned over him and whispered into his here, "Cum, Bluebird." He nibbled the top of his ear, as he pulled on the leash even harder now.

Stuart gasped even more when the tears in his eyes fell and he cum immediately.... at least Murdoc was merciful with him. He let out choked sounds of pleasure when he came...... his voice was all he needed to finally release.

 "Muds.... please.... cum...." he swallowed hard "Into me...." his head was heavy after he came but if he let it fall he would be strangled due the leash.

His back arched and his legs spread instinctively needy for Murdoc.

Murdoc came immediately after, especially with Stuart begging him to. He slammed one final time into the singer and came inside him. He let go of the leash, choosing instead to grab the singer’s hips so he could pull him back onto him. He let out a loud grunt/moan and collapsed onto the singer’s back as he came.

"Holy hell...." he gasped. That was one of the best orgasms he had, ever. He could still feel the waves of pleasure rolling through him. They were becoming less and less but still felt them.

He brought his hand up and pet Stuart's hair, kissing his back and shoulder. "How are you feeling after that?" He asked, concerned. He kept petting the boy, hoping he was okay. Those types of scenes were usually more intense than most were used to.


	30. Hands

Stuart moaned his name when Murdoc came inside him. And when he finally let go of the leash.... he felt a relieve and his body pressed against the mattress. His knees were sore too but he didn't mind.

"I'm good Muds.... only my rear is hurting...." He said in a whisper. "I just hope the collar didn't mark my neck...." He chuckled, they still have the recording to make.

He swallowed again. "i was good Muds....? Did I do well....?" He asked biting his lip a bit nervous he didn't do good and wiping his tears.

Murdoc pulled out of Stuart and brought him up to sit on Murdoc's lap. He wiped his tears away from his eyes and brushed his hair out of his face. He used his other hand to rub his back soothingly. He took the collar off and, besides his skin being a little red, no marks.

He peppered his face with sweet kisses, "You were magnificent, Bluebird. Especially for your first time in a scene like that. You had fun right?" He smiled at him.

Stuart placed a hand on his neck soothing it, it was hurting but nothing unbearable.

Stuart giggled to his sweet kisses. He blushed hearing he was good.

"I had.... sorry I misbehaved...." he said looking into his eyes. "Think I'll learn eventually how to be dom with you so you can have fun too huh?" he winked to him playfully.

"But now all I want is cuddling...." he whispered nuzzling his face on his chest. What could he do he was sweet and he liked Murdoc a lot "Next time I'll be better Muds...." he promised kissing his chest and shoulders.

Murdoc chuckled and got close to his ear, "I kind of like punishing you though. Your skin looks amazing with red marks over it." He nibbled on his ear. He then pulled him back so they were both on the bed with Murdoc leaning against the wall and Stuart sitting in front of him.

He brushed more hair from his face, "Maybe someday love. You can be quite dominating when you want. It's pretty sexy." Murdoc laughed and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.

"I think I can give you some cuddles. You did good, you deserve them." He smiled and kissed his cheek. "That's one of the best parts about these kinds of scenes. The period after is a good stress reducer and calming period. We had all that adrenaline and intensity, cuddling is encouraged." He chuckled. He took this kind of thing seriously, it's how he was taught. He fully believed in it because he knew what it was like to not have that care after and it would leave him feeling horrible.

Stuart smiled "I discovered with you that I could be dominant.... I just.... well don’t feel comfortable punishing you...." he confessed, his nature was just too sweet for that. Even if he knew that sometimes Murdoc really needed and deserved to be punished ‘cuz he was a big asshole. "Only if you like being punished, then I can learn...."

He chuckled "I love the patience you have to explain all those things to me Mu’doc.... even I'm being stupid and slow to understand...." he said happily kissing his neck. "I want to be good for you, Muds...." he whispered into his ear.

He was glad he had learned all those things in life and could now teach him. And he would never have sex and leave Murdoc alone without a kiss or a hug. He knew how it was when he was just used for sex. It hurt. It meant if he didn’t do well he wouldn’t receive cuddles? No, no this ain’t the time to think about bad things, he was a good boy.

Murdoc chuckled, "I love to be punished Bluebird." He gave him a sly smile. "Those whips are my favorite." He winked and rubbed his back still.

"You did so good Bluebird. And I'm serious about the safe words, yeah? Don't hesitate to say them. You won't get punished or anything like that for using them. Understand?" He looked at Stuart to make sure he understood.

Stuart nodded to him, even if he really wanted to use them he always thought he could go further he could do better and seeing his satisfied face after was all he could ask for a reward. He wanted that face only for him.

"May I ask you something Muds.... have you ever used the safe words in your life....? I mean, you explained me about that and.... you like getting punished.... has anyone ever been.... too harsh with you....?" he asked not choosing the best words for that.... but he was curious after seeing Murdoc crying like a baby the last night after a nightmare.

Murdoc looked at Stuart for a moment, thinking about his question. "Uh.... I mean, yeah. I have. I've used them before. There are some, uh, rough people out there. Most of the time I have used it, most people stop. There's been one or two who don't. That's why I take it so seriously. I'd be more disappointed in you NOT using them because you're trying to please me." He said.

Stuart swallowed hard. So even Murdoc had his issues with people in life. He looked down and bit his lip. "I'll use it Muds, promise...." he whispered and hid his face on his shoulder playing with his chest hair avoiding him for a moment while his insecurities took him over. Soon he found his cross playing with it to curling on his lap a bit.

Murdoc continued to rub Stuarts back soothingly. "That's why I usually don't sub for anyone I don't really trust anymore." He said, sort of just talking. Sex was supposed to be fun, not painful.

He looked at Stuart after a while, having bad time to calm down now. "How are you feeling?" He asked. "Does your ass still hurt?" He was glad he could make this a good experience for the singer. He wanted to make sure it'd stay that way.

"Anymore questions? Comments? Concerns? Maybe regarding some of the toys I had?" He smiled. He had a lot, he was sure it was overwhelming to someone new to it.

He looked at his face forgetting about his cross for a moment. "I'm fine Muds.... My ass hurts like a bitch but that's okay...." he chuckled "that's how a punishment should be right.... if it wasn’t painful it wasn’t a punishment...."

He had lots of questions, but now he didn’t feel like asking. "I'll ask when we use them, Muds...." he felt happy he trusted Stuart to be sub with him. It was like a prize he won. "You’re an excellent teacher" he laughed kissing his cheek.

Murdoc chuckled at the kiss, "Well I do what I can, Bluebird. You know, we have a few days before we have a few days before we film our Dirty Harry video.... anymore ideas of something fun we can do? Take a drive? See a movie? Go to a museum? Uh...." he was at a loss. He still didn't know much about dates and places to go, but he was trying.

He knew Stuart wouldn't be content sitting around, drinking and having sex all day. He bit his lip. It's not like he had a family they could go see like Stuarts. He supposed they could go see Stoke-on-Trent, but he didn't think he'd wanna see that shoddy place.

Stuart placed a finger on his mouth thinking. It wasn’t common for him hear from Murdoc about suggestions he could give of what to do. "Muds, I suggested the last place we went and it turned out to be a big adventure.... " he chuckled "I think it's your turning of suggesting what to do in our day off. " he told him.

"Let's do it like this, once I chose after you chose...." he bit his lip. Even if it was lay around drunk and high having sex he would be pleased it was with Murdoc. "It can be anything, love...."

Murdoc bit his lip. He was even more nervous now. He knew the drunk sex wasn't an option, that'd be ridiculous, even he knew that. He cursed himself for never bothering with dates before. He needed to come up with a plan, something that would make both him and Stuart happy.

"Uh.... okay. Yeah.... sure. I'll come up with something and I'll let you know tomorrow, yeah? He bit his lip again. He felt like a bit of an idiot. He wanted to give every part of having a boyfriend to Stuart and he had no clue how to do that.

At least with sex, he could just show Stuart and they'd go about their day, this was something that required more finesse and romance.... something Murdoc was only adequate with. He hadn't noticed had started to chew on one of his long nails a bit.

Stuart noticed him almost panicking "Muds.... Muds.... hey look at me...." he cupped his face making him face him after taking his nail outta his mouth kissing his finger. "I'm learning how to be a good boyfriend.... I'm just suggesting." he rubbed his nose against his "I don’t mind what we do Muds...... as long as it’s with you.... I'm okay with that.... and I appreciate your efforts with me.... really"

He smiled to him fondly "Mu’doc don’t worry about being perfect okay? I love you.... you're enough for me...." he kissed his nose and quickly went to look for his cellphone in his pocket "so enough that I took this picture of you...." he showed the picture he took of him on stage before he kissed him wildly. "The last one before assuming you're taken" he chuckled.

Murdoc snorted when he saw the picture. He grabbed the phone and looked closer. Sure enough, there he was, bring as lewd as ever with his bass. He thought it was adorable that Stuart took that picture.

"Thank you Stu." He said, kissing his forehead. "We'll do something fun tomorrow, yeah? I promise love. I'll try not to over think it." He hugged Stu and gave him back his phone.

"You got anymore fun pics on that thing? He asked, resting his chin on Stuart's shoulder.

Stuart blushed "fun....?" He told him. "I have others of you Muds... actually a whole folder...." He was ashamed but he would be honest with Murdoc. He opened the folder called "Muds ♡".

He showed him his phone there were pictures of Murdoc sleeping, playing his bass, smoking, drinking, even taking a shower some of them were even old, Stuart had this "hobby" since some years ago. Some pictures were selfies of Stuart with Murdoc behind him.

 "The only ones I don't have are you naked.... or us shagging......" He chuckled nervously. "When I told you I found you beautiful I meant that...." he bit his lip hoping he wouldn't find it odd. Sometimes he even used them to jerk off but he would never admit that.

Murdoc grabbed the phone again and looked through the pictures one by one slower, analyzing them. "Damn.... I look so good." He laughed. He didn't know Stuart had done something like this over the past couple years, but to be fair, Murdoc didn't care much. He walked around nearly naked a lot of the time, he was hardly worried about pics or anything like that.

He snorted, "Oh, so now you want to add a dick pic to your collection, yeah? Or are you looking for something classier?" He stuck his tongue out playfully.

Stuart chuckled "Well not that I didn't have the opportunity Muds.... we slept together lots of times and not all the times I really sleep...." He knew his ego was big and Murdoc would never do something like that about him. "What you mean classier...? Do you know how to be classier....?" He teased.

"That's true. I'm surprised you really don’t have more pictures of me.... you had plenty of opportunities." He handed the phone back, then gave an extremely dramatic huff acting offended.

"Excuse me? I can be very classy, you little smartass." He laughed and lifted 2D off his lap. He then scooted over to the edge of the bed and sat with his legs crossed, hiding his junk from view. He turned and looked at Stuart seductively and in a more elegant way than his usual manner. "See?"

Stuart began laughing like crazy "Muds just ‘cuz you hid your knob crossing your legs doesn’t mean you're classy...." He looked at him.

 "I can't say that I don't have a little crush on your hairy legs.... and your ass look nice from here.... maybe if you put some heels would be classier...." He laid on the bed looking at him as his back was sore. He quickly took a picture of him "oh another for my collection" he smiled "Handsome Mu’doc" he named it.

He would love to take lots of pictures of him or of them both.... He would like to see them when they're older.

Murdoc laughed, "I've worn heels before, don't temp me." He smiled at Stuart and laid down on the bed next to him on his stomach. He liked the idea of him and Stu taking pictures together. They could do that tomorrow wherever they are going.

He wrapped his arm around Stuart and pulled him closer. He gave his head a kiss and nuzzled into his neck. "Show me some more photos, yeah? Any will do. Tell me about your days in high school. I wanna feel nostalgic with you." He smiled and put his face near Stuarts, resting his head on his arms.

Stuart chuckled showing him the picture he just taken of him. He tried a nice angle "see? Classy next time I want to see you in heels...." He teased with a wink. He lend him his phone "there are another pictures there.... check the folder "Gorillaz" and "Noodle". "

"My days in high school Muds....?"  He stopped for a moment thinking "Well I think nothing special.... I was bullied everyday...." He chuckled

"Once they pulled my head into the toilet.... another time they lied to me about a bird who wanted to snog with me.... I went there and they were waiting with eggs to throw on me.... other day they stole my backpack with everything inside.... the other they put cigarettes in my stuff and my parents discovered.... actually I smoked and drank, but they didn’t need to know right?" He told him rubbing his sore area to distract himself from pain and kissing his face.

Murdoc took the phone and looked through some of his older pictures as he spoke. He put the phone down though as the list of bullying got longer. He looked over at Stuart, upset.

"Christ, was it really that bad? You looked so cute.... how did you not have girls and guys all over you?" Murdoc asked. He couldn't imagine it, he thought he was a good looking even in a coma.... girls loved him now too? What the hell happened?

"Well Muds .... I dunno...." He chuckled "maybe it's those eyes you gave me.... my charm...... ‘cuz the blue hair I already had.... I just had another haircut.... with a fringe.... it was ugly I have to admit...." He chuckled "My mother forced me...."

 "I wasn't a famous singer Muds.... maybe that's why.... I was just the freak with Christian conservative overprotective parents...." He laughed. His high school was a hell.... after he finished it and Murdoc found him he could be finally happy.

"How was your high school old man.... ? If you can remember...." He teased running his fingers through his hair "I suppose much better than mine...." He knew Murdoc was a delinquent maybe he had stories better than his own.

Murdoc smiled and gave Stuart a kiss. "I would have had fun with you in high school." He laughed, but then sort of frowned. "I.... didn't have the greatest high school experience. I was a bastard. I barely went and when I did, I was drunk. I had a bird in each arm, my car and a ton of alcohol. It almost seemed like a dream...." he thought about it.

"When I went home, which was rare, I had to dodge empty bottles and flying fists. Usually that old bastard was drunk so he couldn't get me. If he did, though, oh boy." He sighed. His dad would beat the fuck outta him when he was drunk. That hardly happened though.

"I did get to do a lot of fucking, drinking and I spent a lot of time doing what I wanted.... so that was cool at least." He smiled at the kid.

Stuart listened to him carefully smiling.... "It sounds amazing Muds.... hope you really had fun that time... A shame I wasn't there with you.... Well I guess you'd be my personal bully." He chuckled.... He grew up to be his pushover either way.

 Besides his father of course it all seemed like a dream... Stuart could guess all his intelligence came from experiences and not high school.... Stuart was stupid so he only achieved the minimum to pass year.

"Hope you're happy with the life we have now too...." He chuckled. He had his car, his own home, tons of alcohol, lots of fucking, no father not the birds either but well he had a singer on a leash. "The difference is that now you have someone you love with you...." He shrugged

Murdoc laughed, "Yeah, to be honest, I would have picked on ya. But not often or too much. I was too drunk to worry about the other kids I went to class with. Although I would have liked your blue hair." He ran his fingers through it slowly. It was so blue, it mesmerized him every time.

He pulled Stuart closer and kissed him. "I wouldn't change a single thing if it meant I had to live a life without you. I'd live another 30 years of my horrible bastard father with my drunk daily life if it meant I got to be with you in the end. Believe me...." he whispered and looked at Stuart seriously.

He rested his face against Stuart's hair and inhaled his scent. He still smelled like caramel and peppermint with a hint of sex. It was intoxicating. He could smell him all day....

Maybe things would be different if they shared high school. That was something to be nostalgic about and it made Stuart smile.

He blushed profusely when he told him those sweet words. He wasn't ready for them. He bit his lip unsure of what to answer, "I'm glad you didn't have to go through this hell longer Muds...."

He meant that, Murdoc wouldn't last if he lived with his father much longer. "I’m really....really happy destiny put us together...." He whispered when Murdoc came to sniff his hair. He held him close "I love you...."

"Me too Blueberry and I love you so much...." He said, closing his eyes and resting his head against Stuart. He was starting to get tired, Stuart was so warm, he was great to cuddle with.

"Christ, I wonder what we would all be doing if we hadn't met.... I'd probably be in jail.... where do you think you'd be?" He asked, keeping his hand in Stuart's hair. Murdoc would either be in jail, or dead probably. He may have ended up like his father too.... who knows really, but it's fun to imagine.

He shivered a bit with his confession. He knew Murdoc loved him but it was so good to hear......

"Probably working with my father, Muds.... or working in somewhere else in a regular job.... I can tell you for sure I wouldn't be a singer or would be able to save you from jail......" He chuckled kissing his face.

"It would be boring.... and I would have to look for another person to fall in love with.... maybe a girl.... and give my parents grandchildren......" He thought about that.... a Christian girl maybe.

"Muds tell me honestly if I didn't exist in your life.... like we never met under any circumstances .... would you try to find yourself your....y'know Love in life....? Or would be single and fucking people here and there....? Would you be married have kids and all this stuff.... ?"

He knew Murdoc for sure would be working on a band or trying to turn his dream come true...... but would be have time to be bothered with boyfriend or girlfriend?

Murdoc snorted at the idea of 2D finding some sweet girl to marry. He wouldn't have liked that at all, the kid would be bored. Murdoc was a perfect level of excitement for the singer and the singer tamed him just a bit.

He actually laughed at Stuart's second question. "I'd probably still be fucking and drinking and whoring my way though life.... and to an early grave, just like my dad. There's no way I'm marriage material or parent material either. I think you and I were meant to be something, and if we hadn't met in this life, then we'd have met in the next." He shrugged. The kid was perfect for him, he couldn't see being with anyone else, ever. He would have died alone and miserable if he hadn't of met 2D. He used to be okay with that, now he was a little scared of it.

He listened carefully "Well I hope you don't go to the grave early, Muds...." He fidget with his fingers.... already scared of a life without the Satanist. Did that deal for being immortal was still working?

He smiled to him "I agree with you Muds.... we were meant to be." Even thinking about marriage and all this stuff ‘cuz well Stuart was just on his early 30s he wouldn't mind if Murdoc never thought about that in life.

"If you die first I’d go to hell to visit you often....  I promise..." He winked to him. It wasn't really a joke but he would live as many lives he could next to the Satanist.

Murdoc laughed, "Don't worry love. Things have been trying to kill me for ages. If they haven't me by now, I doubt they'll get me anytime soon." He was being stupid. Of course things could still get him, especially as he ages. Things like alcohol killing his liver, or lung cancer from the cigarettes. He didn't, however, want to upset the singer so he was optimistic.

"Oh little Bluebird. I wouldn't make you go to hell for me." He smiled at him and booped his nose. It was cute he offered, but he's seen just parts of hell and from what he's seen it's a terrifying place. He would hate to see the singer there....

"I know you'd miss all of this." He gestured to all of himself, "but it isn't worth going there." He laughed.

Stuart smiled to his nose boop "Of course I would Mr. My Ego is bigger than Kong Studios...." he chuckled and thought for a second "And.... what would you do if I die first?" he knew it was such a morbid question to ask but well, he had seeing in movies that some couples ask that to each  other in some point in life. He was just naive and curious.

"Even being positive, Muds.... we need to be always ready for worst right?" he smiled to him going to kiss his forehead. He loved those moments they just shared kisses and talking...... He felt loved and cared a lot by Murdoc. He would miss this if sometime he lost it.

Murdoc thought about Stuart's question, "Well. If you died......" he pursed his lips, he'd never really thought about it. He didn't like the thought. "First.... Gorillaz would be over. I couldn't have anyone else sing in your place. Your voice is much too unique and beautiful to replace...."

"Second...." he whispered, "I would do everything in my power to see you again." He figured there was no point in lying. "If that meant I couldn't bring you back to me here, I suppose I'd go out in a blaze of glory if that meant seeing you again." He was dead serious. He never thought he'd admit he'd kill himself just to see Stuart again, but when he thought about a life without the kid, he didn't like it. At all.

Stuart noticed how he was being serious and bit his lip. It was a morbid and real true way of telling him he would miss him a lot or wouldn’t deal with Stuart's missing. He placed a hand on his face and looked into his eyes. It meant for the singer that they should enjoy every tiny moment they had together in life.

Silently he leaned closer and pressed his lips on his to soothe his bad thoughts. it was a calm and chaste kiss, full of meanings. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked that. Murdoc's eyes showed genuine fear of losing him. Well Stuart was terrified too but his brain didn’t assimilate the idea of death properly. Till now.

He pressed his forehead against his.... soon he would be playing and joking, but Stuart knew deep inside how he felt about him. He smiled.

Murdoc liked the little kiss he gave him. Helped ease his troubled thoughts slightly. He looked back into Stuart's eyes and gave him a small smile back.

"Thanks Stu." He said gruffly. He was a good kid. He was grateful to have him. He turned on his side and pulled him close, putting his forehead against his.

"I couldn't lose you Stu...." he whispered. He knew he'd be willing to do anything to get him back if he left. It made him slightly nervous, knowing he felt that. He'd most likely do it too. He wasn't sure what he'd do if Stuart ever ended up hating him and left. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about it.

Stuart heard his words and his chest tightened. "Muds...." he called him in a whisper too.... "Let's.... Let's promise something......" he said pulling a bit far from him and cupping his face with one hand

"If one day, I dunno.... we lost each other.... for any reason.... Promise we'll try to remember...... all the good reasons that kept us together.... why we started all this.... and.... not hate each other...." he looked at him owlishly, staring at each tiny mark or wrinkle he had. He was so beautiful for Stuart.

"Let's just try... I know we're good now and living a dream but..." he raised his pinky to the promise "I'm here with you...... for anything, okay? Bad moments included.... I mean it." he smiled to him, his voice nothing above a whisper. "Beyond your lover and boyfriend...... I'm still your best mate." he rubbed his nose against his, looking for the sweetest words to wipe his fears away.

Murdoc laughed at the pinky promise, that was such a Stuart thing to do. It was cute. He wrapped his pinky around his with a small chuckle. He brought his pinky up and kissed it gently.

"I think it would be you hating me for some reason, Bluebird. I am a bastard after all. But yes, I promise love. You are my best mate. I'm gonna hold you to that...." he whispered. He knew he'd inevitably fuck up. He always did. He just hoped it wouldn't be too bad and that Stuart wouldn't hate him to his core.

He hated the idea of Stuart hating him. It'd probably break Murdoc if that happened. He wouldn't know what to do. But he didn't feel like thinking about that right now. He had this adorable guy in front of him, he'd enjoy it while he did. He gave him a small light kiss.

"Don't say those words about yourself, silly.... I already have more than enough reasons to hate you and well.... I'm here aren't I?" He chuckled knowing he had a point. Stuart couldn’t tell it was due to his damaged brain or enormous heart, he knew he couldn’t hate Murdoc even if he tried hard. And he wasn’t up to try. as long as Murdoc wasn’t up to do something hideous, it wasn’t gonna help.

"You said you would change right....? I believe you, love." he meant when he said it. "You should believe in yourself too...." he whispered kissing his forehead. He grabbed his hand to play with it, something he loved doing "Oh Murdoc you bit your nail... Now it is shorter than the others......" he opened his hand avoiding his bad thoughts.... "I could paint them anytime.... bet they were gonna be awesome...." he told him with a soft smile.

looking closer they were full of tiny scars, and wrinkles but they  were beautiful either way.... he took some time looking at them, imagining stupidly a ring on his ring finger.... he smiled fondly, Murdoc didn’t know what he was fantasizing about. "I love your hands...." he whispered rubbing each finger with his thumb. "And all the things they do to me...." even if it was punishing.... he enjoyed.

Murdoc watched the kid fondly as he played with his fingers. “Why do you love my hands?” He asked with a small laugh. His hands were rough, calloused and his nails mostly long and cracked.

He brought another hand up to gently play with Stuart’s hair. He twisted and played with several small strands between his fingers. “Well I love your hair, but you already knew that.” He laughed.

Suddenly he hugged Stuart close to him, as tightly as he could manage without hurting the kid. He put his face in his blue hair as Stuart’s head was against his chest. He wanted to say a million things at once and, yet, he couldn’t get anything out. He was a little overwhelmed with emotion, something he couldn’t handle well yet. He kissed the top of his head instead.

Stuart chuckled when Murdoc held him close… He didn’t know why Murdoc did that but he loved it. He could tell he was a bit emotional but… Slowly he broke the hug and lifted his head to look at him. “That’s a good question Muds…” he told him quietly still looking at his hands. “I love them ‘cuz they’re different from mine, see…? They’re smaller.” He put his hand next to Murdoc’s almost a knuckle longer his fingers.

“My hands are… soft, and girly… without any color… boring… Hands from a person who doesn’t do much…” he put his fingers over the Satanist’s, it was a soft moment. He didn’t have many scars as he was overprotected over the years.

“Your hands have much more… personality than mine, Muds… they have wrinkles… showing our age difference… showing that you lived more… you survived everything that happened that marked them ” He smiled fondly seeing the scars he had on his hands. “Your fingertips are calloused ‘cuz of the bass… and it’s like your signature, y’know…? When you touch my skin I feel it… its different… and I love that…”

He looked at his nails “I… love the way you scratch my hair with your… claws…” he chuckled “You don’t hurt me when you do it, even they being really sharp... you’re careful with me.” It was a good observation, his nails made his hands a lot scarier for other people who didn’t know Murdoc. “I don’t have my nails long ‘cuz I bite them, you can’t do the same, will ruin them…”

He interlaced his fingers with Murdoc “I like the way your skin is darker than mine, see…?” he turned around both hands “It’s so beautiful Muds... I could draw that…” he smiled…. “I dunno why… but, since I discovered that your hands can do much more than… punch things, hurt and destroy…. I fell in love with them…” he placed his hand on his cheek nuzzling it “And all the things you do with me with them…” he closed his eyes and kissed his hand. The kid was pure sugar sometimes.

Murdoc forgot how long Stuart’s fingers were. He usually hated comparing since the boy was so damn tall, it was pointless. He loved his hands though, Stuart made a point to put them down, but Murdoc loved them as much as the singer loved Murdoc’s hands.

He listened as the boy fawned over his hands. He never thought of then as a signature, but it made sense. He liked that idea. He even smiled when the kid made fun of his claws.

“I never thought someone could describe my hands in such a beautiful way.” He chuckled. “My hands are rough and calloused and you made them sound like a beautiful painting. ” He held Stuart’s hands and rubbed them gently with his thumbs.

“Yours are longer and more delicate. I love when you touch me, it’s the most gentle anyone has ever touched me before. I, uh, appreciate it. Really.” He said embarrassed. He could write a bloody album talking about anything but he couldn’t tell Stuart more sweet things about his wonderful hands. It never sounded right coming out of his mouth. Not to him anyways.

“I’m an artist Muds….” he chuckled “What can I say…?” He was impressed he could manage to say such sweet things about Murdoc that way, he always thought he was too dumb for that. “Besides I’m in love… so if I’m a bird to you ‘cuz I sing…. you’re a beautiful paint for me to admire....” he winked to him sounding terribly romantic.

He bit his lip. Stuart never really stopped to think that, most of people in Murdoc's life treated him roughly and rudely and besides sex he shouldn’t have had sweet touches genuine without second thoughts.... that was so.... sad to think about.... Even if Murdoc deserved to be punched some couple of times Stuart knew that most of times especially in his childhood he didn’t deserve at all

 Thoughtlessly he placed a hand on his face, caressing it. Caressing his eyes, his lips his wonky nose...."You...." he looked at him for a moment. Murdoc had inner and external scars much deeper that Stuart could even imagine. But the singer was allowed to touch them and he felt blessed for that. He was the only one that could ever be that far with Murdoc, he guessed.

"You deserve to be touched gently, Mu’doc.... " he whispered, his heart racing. "You're precious to me. That's why I want to keep treating you this way, soft and caring...." he smiled. Even in sex as rough as it was, he wanted to cover him with all his love each and every time. "‘cuz I love you." he caressed his cheek with his thumb.

Murdoc blushed suddenly and felt his mouth dry. He tried to give an embarrassed cough to try to hide it. He put his hand over the top of Stuart's that was on his cheek. He looked at him with a soft smile.

"Christ Stu. How the hell are you able to say such sweet things and not feel embarrassed?" He chuckled. He always had a hard time talking like that. He used to never be able to unless he was trying to charm someone for sex and usually that was fake.

No one EVER talked to him like that, he was slowly getting used to it with Stuart, both hearing and saying such sweet things. He was beginning to like it, a lot.

"I love you too." He whispered, getting red again. He wondered if he'd ever get used to this. He truly hoped so, it'd be a cruel twist of fate to have it ripped away from him. It was one thing to never know it, another to have a taste and then it's ripped away.

"How the hell did I get so damn lucky?" Murdoc whispered and smiled, giving Stu a kiss.

Stuart chuckled "I dunno, Muds.... Maybe after some time having no one to tell to.... I kinda lost shame...." he shrugged. Actually Stuart wasn’t able to fake or lie like it was normal for Murdoc. His parents didn’t allow him to lie or hide things, he was raised that way while Murdoc had to hide and lie to survive. If his father knew all the things he did wrong, he would have beaten up twice as much as he was.

Stuart didn’t talked that way even to Paula. And he swore he was in love with her. That's how Stuart Pot was, he said those things without expecting nothing in return and when he had anything he was on cloud nine. Dumb but this way he was hardly disappointed, with Murdoc or anyone.

Stuart chuckled kissing him back.... "We’re both lucky, Muds.... I guess...." he loved his red face and his reactions when Stuart knew it was him who made it...... he thought for a second, maybe it was time. "Why.... why you like me so much Mu’doc....?" he dared to ask "‘cuz I say sweet things and don’t get embarrassed....?" He joked encouraging him. He was dying to make this question since the trip.

Murdoc panicked slightly when Stuart asked him that. He'd been thinking about it every now and then since he'd asked Stuart that question. He dreaded trying to say it though, he was horrible at articulating these feelings.

"Well.... b-because.... uh," he stuttered a bit at the beginning. He wasn't sure how to start, he chuckled nervously. "I like you because you, uh, you're nice and sweet a-and gentle." He was blushing like crazy and he internally cursed himself. He sounded like a schoolboy trying to confess his feelings to a girl he had a crush on. He cleared his throat.

"What I mean is, I'm such an absolute wanker to you sometimes, Stu. I had a father and brother that told me the same shit, I just thought that's how it was. Then you showed up and completely threw it back in my face, you know? I hit you with a car and you still joined my band, you made my dreams come true with that amazing voice of yours, I treated you like shit and you fell in love with me." He gulped, feeling a little better the more he talked.

"You're more than everything I ever could have hoped or wished for in a singer and, uh, in a lover.... you're patient, kind, and gentle even when I don't deserve it. You can be a dominant little shit when I do need it. Your whispers of how much you care about me are more beautiful than anything I've even heard. They almost rival that of your singing voice. You're more than I ever deserved...." he whispered, looking incredibly embarrassed, unable to look at Stuart.

Stuart's smile only grew once Murdoc started speaking.... once he wasn’t expecting anything. He would just admire his physical reactions to see he really meant what he was saying. He always read them pretty much. He knew when Murdoc was lying.

He had a smile from ear to ear when he finished speaking and was blushing. "Hope it never changes, Muds...." he whispered seeing him avoiding his eyes. It was so cute and his heart was so warm. He pecked his lips in a playful way. "Thank you Muds.... you’re really good with words...." he chuckled and tried to stand up. Murdoc was able to tell him all those sweet words, Stuart felt lucky himself.


	31. Pre-trip

"Love, I'll take a quick shower, my ass is killing me.... If you don't mind...." he told him clearly leaving him alone for a moment as he was really nervous. "After I'd like to sleep with you.... who knows sing and cuddle till you sleep huh?" Stuart sang when he was happy, and definitely now he was over the moon ‘cuz of Murdoc. He left the room with his same smile. He felt like he needed to do something to avoid his nightmares.

Murdoc remained red faces as Stuart left. He watched the singer leave, admitting watching his ass as he left. Seeing those red marks across his ass was the most beautiful thing to him.

After he left, he became even more embarrassed alone with his thoughts of what he just said. He buried his face into the blanket, groaning. He'd never said anything that honest to anyone in his entire life. He meant every word but saying it aloud put it into so much perspective.

He was dating and in love.... he was dating and in love with a bloke.... and not just any bloke.... fucking 2D or Stuart Pot. The blue haired, black-eyed kid he had hit with his car. The kid who sang like a goddamn angel and made his dreams come true. The kid he essentially sold his soul to receive. He became even redder.

Christ, he felt like a teenage girl.

Stuart sat down on the toilet waiting his heart stop racing.... His ass screamed in pain but he felt his legs giving in. God even some tears appeared in his eyes. Murdoc was in love with him, like for real.... A louder laugh escaped his lips while he covered them. He knew Murdoc hated seeing him crying, but he was happy as ever. He could actually tell Murdoc how he felt without being yelled at or hit or laughed.... And he actually felt the same....

He sniffed and entered under the water. He put it cold at first to soothe the marks Murdoc made him.... After he turned to a warmer one. He suppressed a scream and jumped several times to relieve his happiness. After some deep breaths he began singing...... It was Stairway to heaven once again.... he danced alone remembering how Murdoc made him laugh when he played that tape on their parent's home. He made his imitation of Robert Plant the best he could.... But his voice sounded a bit shaken due to his emotions.... what could he do.

He was in love. And it was reciprocal.

Murdoc laid there, waiting for Stuart to finish his shower. He suddenly thought he heard the faint sounds of Stairway to Heaven. It sounded beautiful.

He slowly got up and made his way to the bathroom. It was Stuart singing. It made Murdoc smile.

He stayed quiet so Stuart wouldn't hear him. He snuck into the shower behind Stuart and wrapped his arms around his waist. He kissed his shoulder and laid his head against his back.

"You sound beautiful...." he said, holding him and swaying slightly.

This time Stuart was aware.... he knew Murdoc was getting inside once he saw the door opening. He smiled more deeply when he noticed that.... he placed his arms on Murdoc's keeping him close. His eyes were a bit puffy and his face red but he didn’t mind, turning around and giving Murdoc a big hug swaying with him.

"I would never hear this song the same way ever again, Muds...." he smiled to him "Is it too cliché to say that this is.... our song....?" he chuckled wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "I think that couples do that...." he stuck his tongue out sniffling.

"Your turn to sing for me.... how about _Ziggy Stardust_? It's from Bowie right?" he kissed his nose "Sing for me.... Blackbird, I'll give you a shower." he chuckled as he had already finished his own he would focus on Murdoc. "Praise my boyfriend for an amazing sex...." he joked putting  a small amount of shampoo in his hand.

What could he do? Murdoc sang once, now he wanted all the time.... It was like, something new he could do for the singer that would make him happy. Something only he could hear.... Murdoc Niccals, singing.

Murdoc laughed, "I never thought I'd actually get to have a song with someone. I think it should be. I'd like that a lot." He brought a hand up and booped his tongue back into his mouth, smiling.

He snorted when be called him Blackbird. That was perfect. He purred absolutely elated at how tonight was going. About how the whole day was going. He got to kiss him on stage, then they had amazing sex, then he got to finally say how he felt without completely panicking. He didn't disappoint his Bluebird at all today. It was a fantastic day.

"Of course I'll sing for you, but try not to be too amazed by it after, yeah?" He winked at Stuart.

"Now Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with Weird and Gilly, and The Spiders from Mars. He played it left hand, but made it too far. Became the special man, then we were Ziggy's Band." He started singing gruffly. It was one of his favorite songs, so he knew it by heart.

He continued singing and swaying with Stu as he washed his hair. He wished he could have danced around with him like they did in his room. He could do that with Stuart forever. When he finished he gave Stuart, a soft kiss and a smile. He was becoming a huge softy.

Stuart let go of him clapping "you DO sound like Bowie love, thanks for this private show...." he smiled to him turning the shower off as he had already finished washing Murdoc. "You’re the best" it turned into a mantra already. The idea of Blackbird came from that song of Beatles, but despite the haircut Murdoc didn’t sound like Lennon at all. Stuart laughed alone thinking of that.

"Love, is there any interviews scheduled for after the video recordings....?" he asked curiously "besides Dirty Harry we still have El Mañana and Dare right?" he knew both songs were just Noodle but in the end they needed to help her too even not appearing on the shooting. He wrapped the towel around his head, as his rear was sore.

He turned around for Murdoc "This ain’t appear in the video even with me shirtless right?" he showed his back to Murdoc, he didn’t know where the marks went up to.

Murdoc smiled and came up behind Stu, giving his ass a slight gentle rub. "No, they are too far down, you'll be fine. And we didn't have any interviews till near the end. I think we are filming _Dirty Harry,_ then _Dare_ , then we are doing a group interview, then _El Mañana_." He helped Stuart dry his hair.

The interviews should be fun. They did a big group one a while ago, but Noodle didn't know English, so that had been hard. They had to try to translate for her.

He wrapped his arms around Stuart again. "Do you really like my singing, or are you making fun of me?" He teased. He knew he sounded awful, but if Stuart liked it, he would sing for him all day

Stuart nodded to his answer. "No I'm not.... I really like...." he smiled to him warmly. "I just.... never had the opportunity to listen I guess...." he chuckled "If I didn’t like I wouldn’t be asking you to sing all the time ya silly, believe me Muds, I like your singing voice...." he booped his nose. "God Muds it's so .... broken, doesn’t it hurt?" he asked curiously. His nose was like a signature too.

"Well I'm asking about interviews Muds, ‘cuz now that you kissed me I bet tomorrow photos and videos of the happening must be like everywhere and people crazy about it...." he chuckled "will be the first thing they would ask us in an interview.... I just want to be ready when it comes...." he shrugged taking the towel off and helping dry Murdoc. “Our twitter should be exploding by now...." they were so happy that momentarily they forgot about life.

Stuart knew it was gonna be a scandal but he was ready for that.... people wouldn’t forget that fast too he could tell. he wasn’t nervous at all, he would just tell the truth to everybody like he did so far, the only difference was that he was gonna tell alone and Murdoc would only agree. He needed to rehearsal what he was gonna say not to make Murdoc embarrassed or talk too much.

Murdoc snorted at Stuart talking about his nose. "No, not at all. My brother broke it twice when I was younger. That hurt. Russel broke it the other seven times...." he bit his lip. That had been.... painful. He deserved it, plus it gave him his signature nose, so it hadn't been too awful.

Murdoc thought about what he said. He had a good point. There would definitely be talk about what happened. He'd been so happy he'd forgotten. He purred as Stuart helped to dry him off.

"Well... I say we just tell the truth... I'm still serious about you telling everyone first.... you know I can't speak as well as you about these things...." it was funny. He could normally talk up a storm during an interview, but when it came to this, he was awful.

"Well you showed me today that actually you can...." he chuckled remembering his red face and how he was nervous "But I'll do it, for us...." he winked to him grabbing his own clothes and for some moments stealing his cross placing it around his own neck. Unfortunately the singer wasn’t aware of the fact of how press could be really mean and sensationalist...... and the pressure.

He gave him the sweaters again and decided to sleep only in underwear and his cross. "Are you sleepy Muds.... ? We still need to figure out what we'll be doing tomorrow...." he stretched a bit, maybe not sex.... as he was sore. He sat down and looked through his phone "yeah, that's everywhere...." he chuckled and showed Murdoc. Twitter, Facebook, YouTube.... everywhere the trend topic was their kiss.

"Oh that's a good picture they taken, Muds...." it was a good angle of the kiss, he could feel all the passion and the neediness in it, it was dark but they were still be seeing. Stuart was totally unaware of what was happening, it was a funny picture. He saved it. "The first of.... well.... others...." he chuckled unworried.

Murdoc felt so relieved that Stuart was willing to talk to the press about the issue. If he started talking, Murdoc could probably say something, but he always got embarrassed, which was embarrassing itself. He was a grown man, he should be fine talking about feelings, right?

He liked when Stuart wore his cross. The kid looked sexy in it, really fit his look. He nodded, "I am incredibly tired." He said happily, finally noticing his exhaustion again. He put the sweats on and kept a shirt off.

He wrapped an arm around his waist as they walked back to the bed. He looked at the phone Stuart handed him. He looked at the same photos. They did look quite hot, he agreed. He wasn't interested in the gossip however.

"Well first, I have an idea for tomorrow, but it'll be a surprise. Second, I'm not too worried about the media. It's just more publicity love. We'll be fine. We'll make it." He smiled and leaned over to give him a kiss.

Stuart felt better with his reassuring words.... "We Will Muds...." he agreed "I loved he photo by the way...." he confessed blushing. He would definitely put it into his personal collection.

"Oh I love surprises...." he chuckled nuzzling his chest. He yawned "You wake me up tomorrow if it's gonna be early, please love.... I wanna be ready." He began playing with his cross while he felt really tired.

Soon he grabbed his hand again admiring it. "Good night, Muds...." he whispered to him placing his hand on his chest and closing his eyes. Feeling safe with him and this "married" life they were in.

"Do you really like that photo? Should we get it blown up into a giant poster?" He snorted. He like that idea. Put it in the hallway of Kong. He wondered how Noodle and Russ were handling the whole issue. They didn't seem upset.

Murdoc nodded, agreeing to wake Stuart up. He figured they'd leave for his home town whenever, spend the night again, just like they'd done with Stuart's home. He hoped it would go well, there weren't the happiest of memories from Stoke but he'd still show him.

"Good night my love...." He wrapped his arms around Stuart protectively and pulled him close. He rubbed the singer’s back fondly as he slowly eased into one of the most peaceful sleep he'd ever experienced.

"Maybe it's not a bad idea...." he said whispering in a low tone. He was just too proud and in denial, that Murdoc really did that with him. It was like a love proof for the singer.

Stuart gave him one last kiss before drifting into sleep. It was a calm one and he felt happy with Murdoc.

He forgot his pills last night so he was with a tiny headache that didn't allow him to sleep. He opened his eyes and looked around. It was still dark. He looked at Murdoc sleeping soundly and decided to slip off the bed and look for them.

He shivered from cold trying to look in the dark for them.... fortunately he found where he last put them but he hit his head hard on one of his cupboards while doing that. He winced in pain and it cut his forehead.

Defeated he decided to go back to bed and took some more of his pills than he should. He groaned in pain once again and curled himself on Murdoc. He was so stupid sometimes....

Murdoc woke the next day with Stuart curled into a little ball. He peeked an eye open and looked down at the blue haired beauty. He noticed a small cut on his forehead with a small bruise. He gently lifted his blue hair to look at it. It looked like it hurt. Murdoc wondered how he'd gotten that, he didn't remember seeing it last night.

He licked his thumb and gently wiped it, cleaning the blood off his forehead. He looked around and saw the pill bottle. He understood now. He must have gotten up and tripped or something.

"Poor kid," he chuckled, holding him tighter and petting his head. He watched his sleeping face for a while.... studying everything about him. He had a small nose, large eyebrows, and thin lips. He kissed those lips. He loved those lips.

Stuart groaned from pain again.... but them he felt Murdoc's lips on his. "Muds...." he told him with a smile sleeping a bit. He instinctively placed a hand on his forehead remembering last night.

He curled even more into him. "I'm sorry...." he mumbled. He was really clumsy. But Murdoc already know that. "Hope I didn't ruin the surprise, Mu’doc....". He whispered to him and wrapped an arm around his waist pulling him close. "Good morning honey...." he told him fondly.

Murdoc smiled and placed a hand on his cheek, using his thumb to gently run over the soft skin. "Good morning love. No, it's okay. You didn't ruin anything. We'll get you a bandage and be fine, yeah? What did you hit your head on?" He asked, beginning to pet his hair.

He looked over at his clock and saw it was quite early still. That was good, no need to rush. He heard a caw in the distance and smiled, knowing it was Cortez. He wondered if he should bring the bird with them this time.

Stuart looked up "I dunno.... it was dark..." he chuckled "Maybe your cupboard.... next time I'll keep my pills closer..." he smiled to him fondly trying to sit up on the bed.

"So where are we going?" He asked with the biggest of smiles. "I know it's early we can have breakfast before...." he looked through the window "Oh does Cortez can come with us?" He asked excitedly not knowing what they were gonna do this time.

"Gotta be careful Stuart, don't want you knocking yourself out. And Cortez can come with. I think he'd like it, but I'm not telling you where it is we're going just yet. It's a bit of a drive but nothing too bad." He yelled back to Stuart.

He brought the first aid kit back to the bed and proceeded to pull out some disinfectant wipes and a couple of band-aids. He wiped the injury clean and then held up a variety of colored band-aids.

"Which color would you like love?" He asked.

Stuart smiled hearing he wouldn’t tell him where they were going, he was even more excited. He loved surprises. He watched him go to the first aid and take care of him, blushing. He smiled about Cortez coming along. "Is it far from here, love? should I tell Russel and Noodle we ain’t coming back today....?"

"I-I'm sorry Muds, I just didn’t want to wake you up.... I know how my headaches can be really inconvenient...." he said in a low tone. Sometimes they came in the exactly time Murdoc wanted to shag, Stuart normally ignored them and went ahead in sex, a good orgasm was a way of getting rid of the pain.

He looked through the colors "What's your favorite, Muds....? I like all, can’t decide...." he chuckled looking through the many colors they had. He remembered the day when he bought that, it was for Noodle actually but he loved placing colored band-aids on Murdoc when he got hurt.

He place his hand under Stuart's chin and had him look up at Murdoc. "Your headaches aren't inconvenient. I would rather help you find your pills than you doing this." He gestured to his forehead. The kid didn't need anymore head injuries.

When he finished patching Stuart up, he ruffled his hair and grabbed his hand. He walked with him into Kong to go find Noodle and Russ.

"Next time I'll call you I promise...." he wouldn't want Murdoc mad with him but he would have to ask for help sometimes....

Stuart followed him to find the others. He waved a hello to Cortez "we're going in another adventure Cortez, pack your stuff" he laughed and followed Murdoc after putting his clothes back "Muds I'll pick some things in my room before we leave if you don't mind.... do I have to pick something specific?" He didn't know if the place was cold, was far, was hot.... he just wanted to be ready and take care of Murdoc being ready too.

Murdoc thought about it. "I dunno. That's a good question." He chuckled. She was always so skinny.

They found the other two and let them know they were gonna be gone tonight and be back sometime tomorrow. When asked where they were going Murdoc told them it was none of their business, to which the two laughed and teased him.

When they were walking back, Murdoc turned to Stuart, "Go pack, it'll be warm but bring a jacket for the evening, yeah?" He smiled at the kid. He hadn't been to Stoke for a while, he was slightly nervous that Stuart might find the trip disappointing. It wasn't as fun as his dad's funfair.

Stuart ran to his room and grabbed another 2 coats, more clothes of his own more of his pills and money in case he needed. He said goodbye to his stuffed animals like the dumb little spirit he was.

After leaving to the Winnie He quickly walked to the kitchen grabbing some chocolate and other junk food they could eat.... and some bottles of water. Murdoc didn't talk about breakfast and he was hungry. He just hoped Murdoc was too.

He was so excited for the trip and the fact Murdoc didn't tell Noodle or Russel was just making him happier. Actually anything made the kid happy as long as it was with Murdoc.

Soon he was back into the Winnie.

"I bring some snacks to eat Muds as you said it was a couple of hours we might be hungry..." he told him holding his backpack with a smile from ear to ear. "Ready when you are, love...."

Murdoc had his stuff in the Winnie already so he didn't need to pack. He got Cortez ready and in the vehicle. He gave a loud squeak and hopped around on the table till he flew to a seat to rest on and preen himself.

Stuart came in grinning, which made Murdoc smile. "Oh good, well we can either do snacks or if you wanted me to take you to a diner or something. We have time." He said. He wasn't a huge fan of the places but having an actual sit down breakfast with Stuart sounded like something he could easily do.

"I wouldn't mind sitting down with you...." he said. He liked to make sure the kid ate as well. He didn't need him passing out.

"As you wish love.... your idea we go to anywhere you want...." he tried to be as sweet as he could, ‘cuz he knew how Murdoc was nervous doing new stuff like that.... the singer was glad he was trying that much though.

"We can eat this stuff anytime in the trip.... Lead the way captain" he said excitedly sitting on the passenger’s seat and the bird was quick to sit on the panel next to him.

He had the dumbest smile and that band-aid on his forehead, he seemed adorable scratching Cortez' neck. He thought Murdoc wanted to go straight there as it was far. "Oh Mu’doc won’t you tell me anything about where we're going?" he frowned pouting "I like surprises but my anxiety is killing me...." he sit down hugging his long legs.

Murdoc laughed as he sat down in the driver’s seat. "I'm happy you're excited, but I'm not telling you anything. Just trust me that it'll be fun yeah?" He smiled at him and Cortez.

He drove them to a nearby diner they used to take Noodle when she first arrived. That had no idea what to make her for food to eat so they went here as a last ditch effort. Thankfully, she liked their pancakes.

He got out and let Cortez fly off for his own food. He walked in with Stuart and sat down at a booth with him. He looked at the menu.

"What's catching your interest love?" He asked. A waitress came up and asked what they'd like to drink. Murdoc ordered water and looked at Stu to see what he wanted.

Stuart kept pouting when he said he wouldn’t give him a clue.... but that was okay Stuart trusted him enough. When they arrived the diner he immediately recognized it and smiled.... it was Noodle's place.

Stuart looked through the menu and decided to pick the same stuff he used to pick years ago, "I want oatcakes, with cheese please..." oatcakes were a regional delicacy that was common in England. In that diner, he knew how to cook it the Staffordshire style, that's why Stuart liked it. it was common in Stoke on Tent too.

 "And peppermint tea for me...." he smiled at Murdoc saying the sentence full of accent and smiling. Murdoc never tried the bread when they went there together before. "make sure you eat too love...." he whispered to him. "Long travel...." he joked. The waitress was happy to write down his meal.

"Aren’t you parents of Noodle? That tiny Asian girl....?" she asked with a smile recognizing both man. Stuart looked at Murdoc a bit embarrassed. Normally most women’s would try to flirt with him so he was nervous of answering her.

Murdoc had become increasingly nervous about the trip he planned, second guessing himself. He only half paid attention to what Stuart ordered. "I'll uh, have what he's having, except no tea." he said.

When the waitress asked about their relation to Noodle. Murdoc snorted, "Well we attempt to keep her alive if that's what you mean, love. But yeah, I'm surprised you still remember her." Although he wasn't really. They were an odd group, probably pretty memorable. He looked back at Stuart curiously, wondering why he looked embarrassed.

"How could I forget....? She should be a teenager by now..." she chuckled "I'll bring your stuff in a moment, tell her please to come around.... you're all welcome here." she smiled sweetly.

"Oh we'll bring her next time...." Stuart smiled to her. He was glad she didn’t try anything embarrassing or any comment about him. Soon she left.

"Are you okay, Muds....?"He noticed he was nervous. He didn’t know what to do or to say. "You actually no want to try oatcakes? " he smiled fondly "i bet you'll like them." he tried to avoid the travel topic.

Murdoc nodded, "Uh, yeah. I think I tried them a long time ago. I'm not much of a breakfast person. It's hard to be when you normally sleep the entire day. Yeah, I'm okay, just a bit anxious." He laughed nervously. He was bouncing his leg up and down nervously, while sitting back a bit. He bit his lip.

Murdoc hadn't been to Stoke since he left, even when his father died. He didn't want to see the man when he was alive, why the hell would he see him dead? The place had some good memories, but a lot of bad. However, he thought Stuart might wanna see where he grew up. He hoped he wanted to.

Murdoc looked at Stuart and smiled at him. "I like these road trips with you. It's been fun, yeah?" He was actually enjoying them too. He actually really like driving, although he preferred fast cars, but that would be for another time he supposed

Stuart bit his lip "Look Muds, the world’s is really big.... we can go anywhere we want...." he told him childishly "We've been through lots of places in tours and shows so.... don’t bother about that. Anywhere with you is good, love...." he told him honestly.

He could change the place he wanted to go still, there were a lot of places they haven’t been to yet. "I wanna see you smiling and having fun much more in this trip than well... The last one that you had to deal with your in laws...." he joked holding his trembling hands.

"I like when it's just we both Muds.... when we're not arguing or fighting.... when we...." he looked at their hands "We're just a couple, no shows no compromises, no fame no nothing.... we're just humans after all right?" he liked the feeling they weren’t anyone important to the world, just to them two and nothing else mattered.

Murdoc looked up at Stuart. He nodded and gave a soft smile. "You're right. We can go anywhere...." he decided. "I, uh.... was planning to take you to Stoke-on-Trent. I want to show you the place I grew up in. I know it's not as exciting as yours, but it's only fair."

He watched for Stuart's reaction. It wasn't the most fun place, but it was at least interesting right? "They've got some interesting things there to do.... I think. To be honest I haven’t been there since like '84 I think. I'm sure it's changed......"

"I never wanted to go back.... the place has mainly bad memories, but I was hoping you and I could form some better memories, yeah?" He smiled at Stuart again.

Stuart pouted "now you ruined the surprise Muds..." he faked anger then laughed "I've never been to the north part of London actually, love.... It will be a pleasure going there with you." he smiled "What kind of interesting things...?" he said with curious and shiny round eyes. even being his lover now Stuart never left his admiring self towards Murdoc. Everything about him was just amazing for the singer.

He bit his lip playing with his hands. "I know that...." he knew it could bring some terrible memories to Murdoc. "Are you ready to deal with that Muds....? I mean I feel flattered you want to bring me there.... of all people.... and I'll do my best to create better memories but...." he thought Murdoc would be drunk half of the trip to deal with all that with him.

He didn’t want to tell him he didn’t want Murdoc hurt in the end of the trip just ‘cuz he wanted to show Stuart his place. He cared so much about his wellbeing, so why bring him to a place that he had bad memories? He just didn’t ask afraid Murdoc would think he didn’t like his idea.

Stuart knew as well that had been too many years since he left.... but Murdoc seemed to have some stuff not fully overcame in life. "You don’t have anyone of your family there do you?" he asked curiously, as Murdoc always said his parents were deceased and his brother Satan knows where.

Murdoc was a little nervous that Stuart seemed hesitant. He could understand why he'd be nervous but it didn't help to calm his own nervousness. Thankfully, the food came out.

"I guess we'll have to find out together what kind of things they have now." He smiled. "I.... sorry for not planning it better." He laughed nervously and looked at his food. He took his fork and took a small bite.

"I'll be fine, it's been so long. I don't have any family except my brother there, if the slimy git's even still there." He chuckled. Him and his brother weren't on the most friendly of terms but he could at least stand him last time they talked.... which was some time ago.

Stuart thought he messed up a bit. He was just worried about Murdoc...... he nodded taking a sip of his tea silently. Maybe Hannibal could have seen their kiss in the award, did he know Murdoc had a band now...? And how could he look like.... wasn’t he in prison? all those questions crossed Stuart's mind but he didn’t say anything about it afraid of making Murdoc sad or more nervous. He tried to work his brain for the worst Murdoc and Hannibal didn’t seen to get on well and ... He didn’t have a bother to know how does it feel like.

He took a piece full of cheese, it was wonderful as ever, he smiled hoping Murdoc liked it too. He looked down and ate silently, maybe him talking that much was what was making Murdoc uncomfortable. He couldn’t help, he was happy for another trip, actually thinking about the next one. This could be a good idea if someday they fight and needed to make up to each other. He gasped.

Stuart was already thinking as they were married.

Murdoc heard Stuart gasp, he looked up at him. "What's wrong?" He asked. He noticed Stuart was silent and he worried he had made the kid more nervous.

"We'll be fine!" He said with a smile. "You and I are the dynamic duo, you know? We are always able to have a little fun, regardless of where we are, yeah? And, if worse comes to worse, we can get drunk together and shag somewhere." He laughed trying to brighten the mood.

He knew he was being stupid for being nervous. Like anyone would remember him there. It'd been so long he wasn't sure he'd even recognize it. He might run into his brother, but that wouldn't be so bad right?

"Oat.... gasped with it...." he lied to make Murdoc less nervous with a convincing smile. he chuckled to the dynamic duo thing, he had already forgot about that.

"of course we can.... the shag part is the best...." he blushed again eating his bread "I'm just thinking love, sorry being silent." he drank the rest of his tea. "I bet things ain’t gonna get the worse...." he said optimistically. "I won’t let it.... it’s our trip...." he said confidently.

"I can’t even remember the last time I got drunk with you, to be honest, Muds...." all the time he was completely sober to take care of Murdoc when he drank, or a bit more sober than him. the last time he could remember was the first time they shagged when Murdoc came from Mexico. he didn’t know if Murdoc missed that.

Murdoc thought about it then smiled wide, showing his sharp teeth, "Good point Stu! I know this perfect little pub I used to go to with Hannibal. The owner was this awesome bloke that always served us, even thought we were underage. It was probably cause he knew our dad." He chuckled. His dad had been a well known drunk, therefore, Murdoc and Hannibal were also pretty well known.

"I also know some perfect places for shagging." He winked. He started eating a little faster, glad things were turning around. He didn't know why he was worried. With Stu by him, he could do anything.

Stuart smiled at him "So now we discovered the nice stuff we can go there together right?" he giggled lightly. "Please show me all your life, Muds.... Let’s make good memories right...?" he lift his empty cup for Murdoc toast with,.... water? Oh yeah pretty strange. But they were two freaks deeply in love.

"Just be aware of how I behave when drunk right....?" he smirked "especially around you off all people...." he chuckled anxious to be a delinquent with his lover. "If.... If we meet your brother there.... will you tell him what we are....?" he asked hesitantly, not really knowing how Hannibal was and afraid he would say too much in front of him with his sweet self.

He was so overthinking that he thought that the issue he had with the girls in Eastbourne could be the opposite in stoke, with all of them flirting with Murdoc and Hannibal, no its not time to think about that.

Murdoc snorted and lifted his glass to toast with Stu. "To good memories, Bluebird. " he clinked his cup and took a drink. "I'll show you whatever you want love. Just ask, yeah?"

"And yes.... if we happen to see my brother, I'll tell him. I don't really care what he thinks anyways. He's a twit." Murdoc laughed. He was excited to show Stuart now. He knew they'd have fun regardless. He also was being truthful about his brother. He didn't care what his brother thought. He'd be much easier to tell than Stu’s parents. If his bother didn't like it then it'd be easy to never see him again.

Stuart smiled feeling relieved, Hannibal could be a nice lad. "I'll think about things we can do when we get there, Muds...." he promised "Did you finish already love? Can we go...?" he told him with a smile, ready to stand up and pay. Now he was excited about the travel. now the things Murdoc talked about made all the travel stuff a little less depressing.

Murdoc stood up immediately, excited. "Yes love Let’s go!" He slammed more than enough money down on the table to pay for the food. He grabbed Stuart's hand and walked with him out to the Winnie. He made sure Cortez was in before they left and they were back on the road.

They talked about mainly memories the entire way there. Things from when they'd originally gotten the band together and even before. How they'd go out and drink together and go spray paint the walls of nearby building. Stuart was much more talented in that regard. He was quite the artist.


	32. Stoke-On-Tent

When they got within 20 mins of Stoke, Murdoc was gripping the wheel a little harder, getting nervous again. He had no idea why, instinctual maybe.

Stuart relaxed all the way there, laughing and talking about random things. He focused in making Murdoc comfortable and relaxed. Even Cortez was having fun with them. He noticed him getting nervous again. He gently placed a hand on his knew while he drove....

"W-what's the matter, Muds....?" he said in a lower tone when he suddenly stopped speaking. "Talk to me..." he suggested not complaining about his sudden change of behavior.

Murdoc looked down at the hand on his knee and back up at Stuart, giving him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I think this place just instinctually sets me on edge." He gripped the wheel a little more then let go, taking a deep breath.

"I just...... never thought I'd come back here to be honest. When I left all those years ago, I told myself I wouldn't come back. This place nearly swallowed me, nearly killed me. I just wanted to keep it behind me."

He looked at Stuart, "however.... I've done so many new things with you. I really thought it would be best to do this with you. You put everything in such a positive light. It's hard not to think similar sometimes. I think it'll help.... you know what I mean?"

Stuart blushed hard and squeezed his knee. The way Murdoc put things for him it felt what he was doing was so right, just ‘cuz he was with Stuart. He couldn’t help but smile wide. now he had a purpose there, make Murdoc forget about his dark and painful past and transform it into the sweetest memories. He will do his best for that. He loved Murdoc ever more now that he trusted him to see one of his darkest sides. His heart raced in expectation.

He looked for a moment through the window. It was really different from Eastbourne or Crawley. As they went by it was really gray due to its pottery's industry and a little less green than the other two places. It was really a city.

“Yeah.... I'm glad to be here with you, Muds.... Hope I can help with that and when we leave you'll be feeling a bit better about your hometown...." he said in a low fond tone still looking through the window, "Where are we going first, love?"

Murdoc smiled, "We're starting at my old stomping grounds. I used to live on Boon Avenue. The pub I mentioned earlier, the Regent, was literally a 20-minute walk. It was enough for my dad to walk to and from piss drunk. Sometimes we'd find him half way passed out in an alley. Usually left his sorry ass there. Always came home and tried to beat us for leaving him." Murdoc laughed bitterly.

"I'm sure the place is still condemned. We'll park the Winnie there, no one will give a shit." He said as he drove further into town. "I'll show you around the area from there, then if you go to, like.... I dunno a museum or something we can go from there, yeah?" He looked at Stuart quick to see what he thought.

Stuart smiled at his memories, even thinking that his father was a demon and deserved that. Stuart turned himself around to look at him with a large smile "Sure Muds.... anywhere you want to take us too...." he didn’t know if there was any museum there, and the last time he even been to one was when he was at preschool, de couldn’t remember much. He thought Murdoc wasn’t into that kind of stuff though.

He really wanted to eat the oatcakes they did there. He heard that they were delicious. "I think we can pick up a museum or a park to go to...." While looking through the window he saw some passing by.

Murdoc shrugged. He was starting to realize how much the place changed. He wasn't surprised, but he also hoped the places he wanted to show Stuart were still there. There were also a bunch of places Murdoc couldn't remember if they had been there before or were newer. He was determined to have a good time though.

He parked in front of a bunch of old brick houses. Some looked worse than others did. There weren't many people outside, mainly kids fucking around. Many teens hanging out looking to start trouble, Murdoc had been the same way.

He got up as he parked and looked at Stuart and Cortez. "You ready? Grab what you want to bring, we are going to walk a bit." He said, holding his hand out for Stuart.

Stuart noticed how it was different from where he came and Murdoc should be one of those kids may years ago... Well his life was really different from the bassist’s but not too different from what Stuart was thinking it was.

He decided to grab his wallet and take some more of his pills. He looked at the mirror and took off the band-aid. Maybe with a cut on his forehead he didn’t look like totally an outsider. But his blue hair and his black eyes would for sure attract some curious looks, anyway he was ready for that.

He leaned closer Murdoc grabbing his hand and gave him a tiny kiss for some seconds "Ready, love..." he whispered to him with a smile. Soon Cortez joined them, looking curious to look around the new place.

Murdoc smiled and walked out with Stu in tow. He looked up and down the road, looking at the houses. He pulled Stu down a few houses and stopped in front of one of the worst looking houses. It was obviously abandoned.... for years from the looks of it. It didn't look much different from when he was a kid however. Well.... it looked a little worse, but the unkept lawn and car parts scattered all over and unkept parts of the outside of the house looked similar.

He opened the rickety gate in front of it. It made a loud squeak he remembered all too well. He guided Stuart to the door slowly. He looked into the nearby window, slowly broken and dusty. There was tape all over the door, but it was busted from many years of kids sneaking in. He opened the door slowly and looked in.

It was empty and all the furniture was gone. There were cobwebs and dust all over. He coughed a bit from it. Then he guided Stuart in slowly, making sure he didn't hit his head or step on anything sharp. There was garbage littered everywhere.

He sniffed and looked at Stuart with a smile. " _Home sweet home_." He said.

Stuart looked at all around carefully. He was focusing in Murdoc's reactions really and he could feel much pain from all of them. It made his heart twist in a vile way when he opened the gate.

He coughed a bit when he first entered the place as there was dust everywhere and he was sensitive. He thought he would have another asthma crisis. It was a really sad vision. He tried hard to imagine a tiny Murdoc walking around but all the images that came to his mind was he in a corner crying and screaming for help and no one would hear him. He swallowed hard. How could he make this situation better....? How could he do anything?

He leaned closer Murdoc and hugged him. Tight. That kind of hug that can mend all his broken pieces together. He felt awful he showed him his own childhood. The whole place was just depressing.

He cupped his face and looked deep into his eyes with his sweetest smile. He leaned closer and kissed him. Inside his first home. He felt his heart tightening. He wanted to someway wash all his bad memories away but he couldn't. At least he could give him some support and love inside it. Knowing that all his bad feelings about that place were coming all at once in Murdoc.

He couldn't ask him to show where was the place where he had dinner as a family... or where he learned how to walk.... or where his father soothed his pain ‘cuz he had a nightmare.... or where he watched TV.... He thought Murdoc didn't have money to afford to buy a tv. He couldn't ask about anything that remotely reminded him of family. Murdoc didn't have one.

They were surrounded by ashes of a dammed past. Still looking at him he tried to cheer him up asking lowly "show me your room...." like he asked him when they were at Stuart's place. But with no joke. "Tell me stories.... tell me anything...." He whispered rubbing his nose against his. Stuart still had the hope there was at least one good story.... anything. That proved it wasn’t a totally hell.

Murdoc was surprised when Stuart gave him a hug. Not just a normal hug, but one that was close, tight, and full of heavy emotion. Like he wanted to hug everything upsetting away from them. He smiled and hugged him back, rubbing his back gently. He figured this would be hard on the kid. He was sensitive to this kind of stuff. Murdoc was mostly desensitized to it.

When he had stepped into Stuart's home, it'd been so full of warmth. This one was full of nothing but dead dreams and lost hope. Stuart could tell the minute he saw the place.

He could tell the second Stuart looked at him, cupping his face so sweetly and kissing him. He put his hands over Stuart's. He laughed when the kid asked for stories. Should he tell him the actual stories that happened here or sugar coat them? He really didn't want the singer crying for him. He wasn't crying for his past, it made him who he was today, even if it was shit most of the time. He appreciated the singer trying.

He hold his hand as he pulled away and walked with him behind him so Murdoc could lead the way. He walked them through the living room, pointing to the kitchen.

"That's the kitchen over there. Would steal my dad's alcohol from there." He chuckled. "I'd become a master at sneaking into there and stealing his booze. Old man caught me once. I think he busted my rib for that. I only became sneakier." He smiled bitterly.

He walked him up the stairs, watching for broken ones. When he reached the top, he went down the hallway. The bathroom was the first door on the left. "I hit puberty pretty early, like at 9 I think. I remember getting my first mustache and trying to use my dad's razor to shave. Cut my lip, dad found out." He remembered the smack to the head and him threatening him with the razor, saying he'd cut him worse next time. Since then Murdoc never really shaved. He preferred the stubble and it really didn't come in much anyways. Never knew why.

Next room was his brothers. He was never allowed in there and he wasn't interested now. Even when his brother had turned 18 and left as Murdoc was entering high school. He continued to his room, which was right next to their dads at the very end.

He opened the door and found a nearly empty room. There was an empty bookshelf, easily scavenged over the years. He'd never left anything important anyways, so it didn't matter. He did, however, wonder if his stash was still in it's secret spot.

He kneeled down in the corner and felt around for the loose floorboard. He found it and smirked. He opened it and found the shoebox in there. He brought it out and blew the dust off it, coughing from it. He turned to Stuart and smiled a wide grin. "My secret stash!"

Stuart followed him with the double of care. He could have had an accident if he didn't. He listened to all his explanations carefully.... And controlled himself to stay still.... Even thinking that all Murdoc been through in life was terrible.... at least he was alive and now it seemed it didn't hurt that much. So Stuart tried to see by this side.

He noticed Murdoc filtered the stories for the good parts... Stuart could easily put his father in the middle of each so he knew it wasn’t that happy....but that was okay though. He was already sharing so fair enough. The kitchen seemed an empty space like there was just a small freezer and probably with only booze inside.... He wondered if Murdoc had ever had a proper meal when younger. He tried to smile all the time. He wish his own mother could have showed him what was a lunch with the family in a Sunday.

"Nine?" Stuart repeated. The singer wasn’t even born and Murdoc had already beard. He remembered he saying that he discovered sex them...... He would have asked about that but.... It was probably too personal. He just focused in a tiny Murdoc with a razor maybe shaving his eyebrows ‘cuz he didn’t have enough facial hair for that (Yeah Stuart did that when younger). He wondered why Murdoc never grew a beard or anything. He would be charming.

Stuart was kinda impressed that there were actually separated rooms for the brothers. He thought he needed to share.... as he was abandoned. Actually the house had 3 rooms. Stuart entered it trying not to die from coughing and kneeled next to Murdoc interested in what he was holding. Yeah he wasn't the only one with hidden stuff through the years. The different was that Stuart's parents who kept them for him... Murdoc god knows who did this work. The place was abandoned for much more time as Murdoc was older than him.

Murdoc opened the shoebox slowly and set the lid down. First, he pulled out an old nude magazine. He waved it at Stuart and laughed, "See? You were the only one with dirty magazines."

Then he set that down and pulled out what looked to be some really old condoms. He chucked and put those down on top of the magazine. He then pulled out an old zippo lighter he'd stolen from his brother. He loved that lighter. He flicked open the top and tried lighting it. It still worked so he pocketed that.

Next was a box of Marlboro cigarettes, nice and stale and dry he was sure. He set those aside as well and pulled out an old slingshot. He laughed and turned to Stuart.

"Now this thing used to get me in trouble at school all the time. Used to hit this fat arse named Tony Chopper. He used to call me names all the time, so one day I essentially told him he'd amount to nothing more than a sign holder that'd get replaced by a bucket of soil. Told him a few other things and he hit me, square in the nose." He pointed to his wonky nose. "That was the first of my nose breaks." He posed for a moment, thinking about it fondly.

"I'd skipped home that day, though. It'd been nice to finally get a reaction from that git. He'd teased me mercilessly. So did the teachers, but if I didn't like them I'd generally go to their class drunk." He chuckled.

Stuart saw that old magazine, it was even worse than his own, looked even older. He smiled. He grimaced to the condoms, thankfully they weren’t used.... when he was little he didn’t even know that those things really existed. His parents actually never talked about sex with him. he was glad the lighter still worked.

Stuart found curious how he could remember everything with a smile.... It was something he admired in Murdoc, that punch on the nose should have ached a lot. "So I see I wasn’t the only one that was bullied when younger huh?" he couldn’t help but think who was this Tony, to try to mess up with someone like Murdoc. Maybe Murdoc got the punch but tony was far more hurt, who knows? Stuart never fought back his bullies.so his pretty face was intact.

He raised a brow to him skipping home.... it didn’t make sense. If his father knew he was in trouble and he got home ‘cuz of it, he would try to break the rest of his face.... well he wouldn’t ask that. He shook his head avoiding bad thoughts. His box was really different form his own, he grabbed some stuff in the inside looking at them a bit. His lungs were burning with the dust. "Bet you went to all classes drunk, Mu’doc, or were there any you actually liked going?" he chuckled, maybe a hot math teacher would keep him awake all class.

"Didn’t they ever called you father in school Muds.... like.... for bad behavior or grades....?" his parents were never called actually, ‘cuz Stuart was an average student even a bit stupid. And he never told anyone about the bullies so their parents were never called. He was just curious

Murdoc shook his head. "Nope, hated all my classes and all the teachers seemed to hate me. I was a disruptive little shit though, to be fair. I was very charming, however. I could usually convince teachers not to call dear old dad." He shook his head, remembering all those times he'd been threatened with calling his father.

"There was one time," he started slowly, "this one teacher, I don't even remember his name now, he taught math. He was new I think, and was very upset I'd dared come to his class drunk." Murdoc snickered and rolled his eyes.

"It was the last class of the day, so he made me stay after and lectured me about how I was wasting my life getting drunk and blah, blah, blah, you know the spiel. Anyways, he called my father in front of me and told him everything, and then he had the balls to ask my dad to come down to the school and get me so he could talk to him. My dad agreed or something was said that made it sound like he would come. Well, I sat there with that teacher for two hours after school, dad never showed up. He was, needless to say, upset." Murdoc laughed and gave Stuart a glance.

"I had sobered up and the teacher finally sent me home. Oh boy, my dad was waiting for me when I'd gotten home...." he said slowly. His dad been upset to have been bothered for Murdoc's behavior. He had been more mad that Murdoc got caught. He looked back down at the box.

"I went to school the next day with a busted face and bruised everything. Went to that class and, needless to say, the teacher never bothered me again." He finished.

Stuart listened while looking through the stuff in the box. He couldn’t look at him in the eye. It was really painful to hear all that. Hopefully was just one time this happened. If all the teachers did that with Murdoc he would have been killed. He swallowed hard thinking about that. This time Murdoc didn’t smiled while telling him the story.

It was getting more and more difficult for Stuart to see the bright side of all this. he just felt more and more sorry for Murdoc...... how does a child come to the point of going drunk to class ‘cuz his life is  hell? He only got drunk when older. And it was horrible for him. He placed a hand on his face with a smile.

"I'm glad you...... survived after all this.... and you're here with me." he almost whispered, what could he say...? It was unfair and terrible what they did to him. So wrong. Murdoc wasn’t mean ‘cuz he was born this way.... he was neglected all his childhood and well.... it was hard sometimes for even Stuart believe he had a good side.... but Stuart knew it was there.

He kept the smile on his face. "Do you.... have any happy story Muds....? Like.... any that didn’t involve...... well you drunk or, beat ups.... or I dunno...." he wanted to ask for child stories. but Murdoc behaved like a grown up since he was little. He didn’t have a childhood at all. It was so traumatizing, he couldn’t believe Murdoc was that calm inside the place that for him should be a living nightmare. He bit his lip and looked at him.

He wanted to hug him there and never let him go, his chest tightened.... did Murdoc thought he was someway guilty for all that? Did he think he deserved to be treated that way ‘cuz he was the problem? This thought made Stuart want to puke. How dare they have treated his loved one that way......? He could see into his eyes how hurt Murdoc was, or scared at some point. Deep inside he was still that little child.... Stuart knew that. But well no time for pity or tears. Murdoc wouldn’t want that.

"Happy stories huh?" Murdoc thought. He could see Stuart was getting upset, he thought he should cool it on some of his more.... difficult memories before the kid cried.

He flipped through his memories trying to find an instance that would be considered fun or happy for Stuart. Murdoc had plenty of fun as a kid, but it wasn't the kind of fun Stuart would think of. Smoking behind the school with some buddies or the time he'd skipped school and him and his buddies threw eggs at some local buildings.

"Uh, one time my brother let me listen to his records, he was more into dub and punk though. When he was out one time, I borrowed his turn table to play my Dio's album. I always loved metal...." he smiled.

"But then my brother came home and was pissed I was using his turn table. Broke my nose two more times." He snickered. He just realized that he'd forgotten his brother was responsible for two of his nose breaks. Maybe Russel broke it only five times? He couldn't remember at this point, it was too many.

Stuart smiled a bit. Since he saw him dancing with him stairway to heaven he thought he could actually like other type of music besides the pop and commercial ones Gorillaz made. He thought they could listen to some of those songs together anytime.

But yeah it wasn’t a story with a good ending either.... so no happy stories at all. Anyway he would listen to any Murdoc wanted to share. So he placed all his things inside that box and closed it, giving it back to Murdoc. "Guess everyone has something to do with your nose huh?" he tried to joke. It seems like everyone or broke or tried to break his nose.

He stood up and walked to the window. It was broken by a rock or something so he could breathe a bit of fresh air. He sighed  lowly. "Is there any other place in here you want to show me, Muds....?" he asked sweetly, there wasn’t any yard and he was scared the floor could fell under his feet as everything was old and rotten. "Or any other stuff hidden?" he chuckled looking through the window seeing the kids playing on the streets.

Murdoc shook his head. "There's nothing here but ghosts and dying memories. And yes, my nose seems to be the main attraction for everyone to hit. I don't know why. But no matter how many times they hit it, it only gets better" He grumbled, standing up and dusting off his jeans. He walked over to Stuart and grabbed his hand, looking out the window.

"I got some other places to show you on the way to the pub." He smiled and squeezed Stuart's hand. He really hoped Stuart wouldn't be upset by the trip. He knew his stories weren't as happy as Stuart's. He pointed at the window.

"I used to jump out of this window all the time. Believe it or not, there used to be some bushes below here. I'd land on them all the time, only minor bumps and bruises, but they helped me sneak out when I needed to. Go to any parties and such." He chuckled and winked at Stuart.

He proceeded to guide the singer back out of the house after grabbing the slingshot from the box and putting it in his back pocket. Once outside, he walked with him down the street, slowly. It was as if they were taking a leisurely stroll.

Stuart's eyes widened.... he looked down before leaving and it was a really big fall. He looked at Murdoc again and smiled when he grabbed his hand. He felt a bit more relaxed when he came near him.

He followed him silently outside and just looked around. Now he felt like he could finally breathe, even if his head was just full of thoughts. "Lead the way captain," he whispered to him. He looked up and Cortez was closer them, pestering some children, he laughed at that.

Thoughtlessly he placed his hand on the cut on his head. Murdoc always took care when he was hurt or Noodle but.... as it seems no one took care of his own bruises when he was little. It was another sad thing to think about. He took care so well ‘cuz he needed to learn with his own. He wondered if anytime he had to go to the hospital ‘cuz of them and well.... no one would bring him. It made him feel even sadder.

Now he understood why Murdoc was greedy with attention and.... Why he loved so much his touches. He had already hurt too much in life, inside and outside. He squeezed his hand tighter, overthinking as always.

As they walked, Murdoc looked at the different houses. They looked pretty similar to how he was when he was younger. He felt Stuart squeeze his hand. He looked over at Stuart.

"You okay, love?" He asked, also noticing him touching his head. He had noticed Stuart took off his band-aid. "Why did you take off the band aid?" He asked, reaching up and gently touching his forehead near the wound.

Some kids suddenly ran by them, playing and yelling with a baseball bat. Murdoc laughed and pulled Stuart close to him so he wouldn't get tackled by the group of kids.

Stuart smiled to him when the children came. "I dunno Muds.... I just felt like taking it off.... I’m a totally outsider here...." he chuckled looking down to see his face. He blushed when he was pulled close. It was getting a bit cold too.

"I'm okay just thinking too much.... much information to assimilate, my brain isn’t that fast...." he said in a low tone. It was actually another stuff he didn’t want to share with Murdoc  or talk about or he would end up crying and they barely went somewhere there .... it would ruin the whole trip. Maybe when they were home he could put his little heart out to him.

"Maybe a kiss could make it feel better...." he joked sweetly avoiding bad thoughts again.

Murdoc laughed and gave him a quick kiss while he was close. He felt more relaxed here for some reason. He was stressed getting here, but actually being in Stoke was more relaxing. He was familiar with the place and the people. And it was even nicer with Stuart there.

"Yeah, you Crawley type wouldn't last here in Stoke." He teased. "We're a real rowdy bunch." He laughed and ruffled Stuart's hair. He felt like a teen walking the streets again.

He walked with him downtown, taking him into little shops here and there. There were a bunch he'd never seen before. Obviously, they wouldn't have been there when he was younger.

He kept his hand in Stuart's. Pulling him this way and that. He was most interested in a witchcraft shop he saw at the end of the way, tucked between two large buildings. He pulled Stuart eagerly into the building. Inside was a small shop tons of knick-knacks and items that looked almost of the occult. Murdoc liked it.

Stuart was glad to be pushed around by Murdoc.... he didn't know anything so he was glad he had a guide. Fortunately as the didn't find anything related to his family besides the house...  They had plenty of time to look for other stuff.

That store was really intriguing.... it smelled differently. Inside he let his hand go and walked around seeing the stuff, looking for maybe buy something for Murdoc.... as a gift as his eyes were shining once they were inside...

He was looking through the gems, the bottles with stuff inside, the tiniest things. "Hey Muds.... what are you interested the most? " he asked when the wild attendant suddenly appeared almost giving him a heart attack.

The store attendant was an older woman. Murdoc thought it was almost cliché at how she fit the description of a witch, although she looked more like a gypsy too. She actually looked good for her age. He chuckled at how she frightened Stuart suddenly.

"Hello deary," she said to Stuart, getting incredibly close to him, almost inspecting him. "What can I help you with loves?" She looked to Murdoc and back at Stu. She was short than Murdoc, having to crane her neck upwards to look at Stuart.

Stuart frowned a bit at her... but besides her closeness people inspecting him weren't uncommon for him.

"I'm here with my boyfriend looking around.... he was born here, I'm from Crawley.... he probably became interested in your store. I'm Stuart, he's Murdoc. " he told her with a sweet expression not wanting to scare her. "My eyes and hair, accidents..." he shrugged explaining quick before she asks.

"What here do you think an outsider would be interested in as a .... souvenir or sorta....?" He said going back to look around a bit closer to Murdoc.

"Oh I know about you two. Once Murdoc Niccals became famous, all of Stoke can't shut up about it." She said with a smile. Murdoc beamed at her and wrapped an arm around Stuart's waist, pulling him close.

"Oh really, now? You hear that " He asked. He never thought he'd ever hear anyone from Stoke tell him that. It was the best thing he's ever heard.

"You want something as a souvenir huh?" She asked, looking Stuart up and down. "How about this?" She grabbed a beautiful, smooth, red rock nearby, "This, hon’, is a garnet. Garnet is recognized as a spiritual mineral that can heal, strengthen, or improve your relationship. Garnet is also known as the Stone of Love. The energies of Garnet can also unleash your sexuality." She smiled at the two. "This was found here in the UK."

Stuart smiled together with him feeling proud of working with big Murdoc Niccals.... he was recognized at least. He rested his head on the Satanist's looking at her.

He grabbed the rock in his hands. As he had long fingers, it fit perfectly. It was deep red and beautiful. Reminded him of Murdoc's different eye. When he put it against the light it shone pretty reflecting against his black sclera. For someone with the brain as Stuart's it didn’t make sense that a rock could do that much.... but oh well, anything to improve his relationship with Murdoc was valid.

"What do you think, love? It’s beautiful...." he showed Murdoc. Yeah even a rock could make Stuart happy. He just hoped it wasn’t cursed or anything. He looked at the lady.... she seemed friendly despite looking like a witch. "Is there anything else here to.... relationships and lucky....?" Since Murdoc had that nightmare, he was really thinking about some way to shield his relationship with the Satanist.

Murdoc laughed, "I don't need anything to help with my sexuality, love. I'm Murdoc Niccals." He was feeling a little cocky at the moment, and it showed.

The lady chuckled, and shook her head, "It's just to strengthen your relationship." She walked up closer to them and held out her hand towards Murdoc's. "May I, dearie?"

Murdoc hesitantly put his hand in hers. She turned it over and ran her delicate fingers over his palms. Then she grabbed a small blade from a nearby shelf.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. What are you doing?" Murdoc asked alarmed, shoving Stuart behind him without thinking.

"Easy love, I just need a drop of blood is all. It's okay, it won't hurt. I can read people through their blood." She smiled at him sweetly, waiting to see what he says.

Murdoc watched her for a moment. He was no stranger to occult/wiccan like activities, but he didn't know if he really wanted Stuart near it. Eventually Murdoc nodded, he was curious.

She smiled and nicked his finger. A small drop of blood came out and she slid the dull edge of the blade on it, then licked it off. Murdoc lifted an eyebrow in curiosity.

"You'll be happy...... for a time...... your downfall will be an island......" she frowned, then she looked as if she saw a ghost, which she masked quickly. She looked at the two, worry on her face. "Death is looking for you sweetheart..." she whispered. Murdoc gulped and laughed nervously.

"Well I did sell my soul.... death will look to collect eventually."

Stuart laughed as his statement.... of course in sex they didn’t need any improvement at all. But Stuart was far away from thinking about sex right now. He didn’t bother when Murdoc pushed him back, he actually felt happy he tried to protect him his way. As Murdoc was shorter, he was able to see above his shoulder what was happening with that blade. Looking around he finally noticed they were the only people at the store. There was no one there.

Stuart swallowed hard. She didn’t have anything good to say? No one had anything good to tell in that city besides him....? He tried to ignore this bad thoughts. He stored her words in his memory. An island. Death. Happy for a time. His heart raced and he leaned closer offering his hand.

"I want you to.... read mine too." he looked at Murdoc "I'm together with him so.... what happens to Murdoc in the end affects me too one way or another...." he didn’t like the cut part but he would like to place another band aid on his finger after, they were so colorful. He looked at her seriously without a hint of fear.

She smiled sweetly at him and took his hand, "Of course sweetheart." She gave his finger a prick and licked the blood, just like Murdoc's.

"You.... are usually a positive one....water will engulf you.... _you will welcome death_......" she whispered, looking just as worried. Murdoc's eyes widened as he looked at Stuart. He held his grip around him tighter.

"What does that mean?" Murdoc demanded quietly. The witch looked at him and shrugged softly.

"I'm sorry, love.... I don't know...." she said sadly. She rubbed Stuart's hand gently. This was not what Murdoc wanted to hear AT ALL.

"You're wrong." He said more sternly. He couldn't imagine Stuart ever WANTING or WELCOMING death.

Stuart gave her his hand and froze in place when she said he would welcome death.... why would he do that? What could so worst happen that possibly Stuart would welcome death? Water....? Maybe the island she mentioned....He swallowed hard and became paler than he already was. Something told him that what would happen would be Murdoc's fault.

"Thanks lady.... I think we better be leaving...." Stuart told her with a nervous smile before Murdoc began yelling and cussing her. "How much is the rock?" He asked sweetly before heading with Murdoc to the front door.

She watched them walk towards the door. "You can have it, love. You two will need it." She waved goodbye, looking sad.


	33. Pub

Murdoc growled and grabbed Stuart's hand, dragging him out of the building. He kept dragging the poor kid, unaware of anything else except his own thoughts and anger. He didn't realize how hard he was squeezing Stuart's hand.

"What the fuck does she know?! Bloody fucking loon." He growled. He was walking them in a random direction not thinking.

There was no way Stuart would ever welcome death. Would he be the reason?! Was it Murdoc? Did this mean something bad would happen between them? That's not possible. Murdoc wouldn't let it happen. He'd take care of his band mates and his boyfriend no matter what happened.

Stuart thanked her and just bowed his head to angry Murdoc. Again he didn't want to make him even angrier. He was scared. His hand was hurting from his grip and he placed the rock on his pocket.

Soon enough Stuart tripped and fell. As Murdoc wasn't really paying attention to where they were going he stomped. It wasn't a bad fall but it hurt. He was already hurting and scared. Now he felt embarrassed. He just wanted to go back to the Winnie and home.

He stayed for some moments looking to the floor where he fell his hand finally released from Murdoc trying to understand what happened.

Murdoc stopped when Stuart tripped, coming back to reality. He quickly went back to Stuart and knelt down, wrapping an arm around him.

"I'm sorry Stu! Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He grabbed Stuart's hands gently and brushed off all the rocks and dirt, kissing them gently. He looked at Stuart, worried.

"Please love.... I'm sorry. We can't let that blasted gypsy get the better of us, you know?" He whispered. He was scared, but he tried not to show it.

Stuart just frowned. "I'm okay Mu’doc" he said emotionless. "I know how your anger gets always the best of you." He sighed standing up and wiping the dust from his hands. He was scared and he was hurt. But he wouldn’t ruin the trip.

His knee seemed hurt too when he fell but he pretended nothing happened. There were people around looking at him and he felt terribly embarrassed. He massaged his hand, as Murdoc squeezed it too much.

"She got the better of you Mu’doc. You got angry and left the store storming and dragging me just ‘cuz she said one thing or two." He said angrily "Anyway.... just don't do this anymore. I don't know if what she told us is true either...." He said in a low tone. "Just forget it okay?" He sighed combing his hair with his fingers, upset walking in front of him.

Murdoc's shoulders slumped, his chest hurt. He walked behind Stuart, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Sorry...." he mumbled and kept his head down. When he thought people were looking he glared and snarled at them.

He felt awful. He didn't mean to hurt Stuart. That was the whole reason he got mad. He didn't want to hurt Stuart and ended up doing it anyways. He had thought this trip would be a good one, and once again, he ruined it.

As he followed Stuart, he kicked and scuffed rocks on the sidewalk with his boots. He shouldn't have let her touch Stuart.... he shouldn't have gone in there.... he shouldn't have come here. Stoke was the place where dreams and hopes of Murdoc's died. He chuckled bitterly to himself.

Stuart heard his chuckle and turned around still a bit upset. "What's so funny?" He spit angrily the words. "I'm really trying here Mu’doc.... Don't think it's not hard for me too.... Don't think that I'm not scared too.... I'm just being strong for you...." He said firmly. He began walking but he had no idea where to.

He stopped "Okay I forgive you.... just.... you need to get better with your anger okay? And who you direct it to." He looked at him a bit calmer. Murdoc seemed hurt and Stuart couldn't stand that too. He sighed sadly.

Murdoc stopped quickly when Stuart turned around, snapping at him. His face dropped and his heart raced. When was the last time Stuart yelled at him? He fucked it up again.

Murdoc slumped his shoulders more and looked down. "I'm sorry Stu...." he croaked. He's right, he can't direct his anger at Stuart anymore. The kid didn't deserve that.

"I didn't mean to hurt you.... are you, uh, okay?" He asked quietly, still not looking at him. He scraped his foot along the sidewalk, biting his lip.

Stuart placed his both hands on each shoulder "I am Muds...." he reassured him and lifted his face so Murdoc was looking at him. "Just my knee hurts but I can walk...." He smiled to him seeing Murdoc that way, he as really sorry. In other times he would have started crying and whimpering when he fell but this time he decided to stand up and Murdoc actually heard him.

He leaned closer and kissed his lips for some seconds. Some of the people were shocked. "Let's continue the trip okay....?" He told him softly and rubbed his nose against his grabbing his hand that was red from his grip. He would talk about what the witch said another time. When he was less angry.

Murdoc swallowed and nodded after the kiss. He didn't care if anyone saw what they were doing. He didn't give a shit about this town. He cared about Stuart. Stuart was what he needed to focus on.

"Thank you Stuart. Please let me give you a piggyback ride at least, yeah? Just till your knee feels a bit better?" He said, holding his hand and rubbing it gently.

Stuart was smiling again "If you insist Muds...." He said going up on his back and wrapping his bony arms around him and whispering "I love you" into his ear with a small kiss. He was really simple to forget bad things when it came to Murdoc.

He just didn't know if it was gonna be always like this.

Murdoc smiled as Stuart gave him a kiss and wrapped his legs and arms around him. He was happy he could get the kid to smile again, especially before he started crying.

He started walking, deciding they were close to his old high school. They could walk by on the way to the pub. "I love you too Bluebird." He said.

Thankfully, Stuart wasn't heavy. He probably weight as much as Murdoc even being much taller. He walked them to the school. It looked the bloody same. He nodded in it's direction.

"That's my high school. I used to smoke, fuck and drink behind that shed over there." He chuckled, nodding towards a tiny storage shed a ways behind the school. He wondered if he would have hung out with Stuart or not...... he was curious.

Stuart smiled dumbly hearing he loved him. It was so good.... it made him forget he fell.

He looked around to his high school pulling off Murdoc. He had already carried him too much. He looked at the shed and had an idea. He grabbed his wrist tightly and run the best he could limping there

"I don't have cigarettes or booze here with me Muds...." He said panting with a big smile "but I have me...." he leaned closer and kissed him deeply wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him closer and pressing him against the wall.

Well Murdoc wasn't in high school either but he couldn't tell now he didn't snogged Stuart in his old school. And he wanted to make new good memories there.

Murdoc was surprised, happily surprised, by Stuart's sudden make out session behind the shed. He laughed as Stuart kissed him, pushing him up against the wall. His heart was racing and he felt so happy.

He put his hands at the bottom of Stuart shirt and lifted slightly so his hands could go under it. He brought his hands up, feeling every part of his chest, hips and back. When he was younger, he never thought he'd have a boyfriend, let alone kiss him behind that shed.

Stuart smiled on the kiss.... He knew Murdoc was happy with his attitude. And he loved hearing his laugh.

 His kisses went to his jawline.... cheeks and ear "Have you ever thought one day you'd be here making out with your boyfriend, love?" He chuckled and began kissing his neck, slowly not to leave any mark.

 His hands went to his shoulders and he pulled him closer. He shivered with his touch under his shirt.

Murdoc continued to grope Stuart as he kissed his neck. He let out small little playful growls as he did this. He loved it. He loved the feeling of possibly being caught.

"No, I never thought that.... but I wish it'd happened sooner." He chuckled and purred. When Stuart pulled him closer he started grinding his hips into his. He moaned slightly, his jeans feeling way to fucking tight.

Stuart's heart felt warmer.... "me too Muds.... much sooner...." he confessed into his ear. "Never too late for a first time.... have you ever being caught here....?" He asked whispering. His own trousers tight as well. He looked around for a moment, no one. His hand went to the front part of his pants rubbing his tent. He bit his lip "I love when I make you this hard with just some kisses, love.... " He chuckled looking into his eyes.

Murdoc shivered and moaned, clinging onto Stuart like his life depended on it. "Y-yeah. I got caught once." He managed to get out shakily. He looked up at Stuart pleading for some type of release.

He pushed himself into Stuart's hand more, trying to relieve himself somewhat. He let out a shaky breath, looking into Stuart's black eyes. He reached up and gave him a deep kiss.

Stuart was quick to understand what he needed and he wouldn't let Murdoc down. But them he remembered how Murdoc was bad and mistreated him earlier. Another smirk came to his lips.

"Muds what you want me to do to help you.... ? I want you to ask me to... or I'll leave you like this...." He said in a serious tone after breaking the kiss and looking at Murdoc's eyes once again.

Murdoc felt upset for a moment, letting out a shaky defeated whimper. He swallowed and looked around, making sure no one was around. He bit his lip and looked up pleadingly at Stuart again.

"L-let me cum, fuck me, use me. I don't care Stu, I'm yours to do with as you wish. Just please, for the love of Satan, let it end with me cumming...." he whispered, rubbing himself on Stuart and moaning slightly. Stuart had no idea how much he turned Murdoc on, especially with shit like this. It hurt his ego to beg, but it also felt better than drugs.

Stuart nodded. He just wanted a little payback as his knee was still hurting him.  He thought for a moment it was too risky trying to fuck there maybe he could hurt Murdoc as he didn't have any lube... and his original plan was just making out Murdoc didn't deserve that after what he did.

He quickly unbuttoned his jeans and his own as he was really hard as well.... "So needy...." He smirked and licked his lips. Murdoc had the quite same effect with the singer but Stuart when he wanted He controlled himself a lot.... He much rather see and hear Murdoc begging for him.... it was much more pleasurable.

He placed both erections together and his body against Murdoc a bit more. He moaned lowly when both skins touched and he began stroking them together. He didn't even seemed that lad about to cry moments ago.

He went back to his lips kissing him roughly and without a care in the world while he moved his hands in the same pace. His other hand tangled his hair softly making his head tilt to the side and he having more room to kiss his neck "better be quick love.... you don't want no- ah- no one getting us caught do you....?" He teased moaning against his ear.

Murdoc grunted and moaned as Stuart put their erections together, then when he started stroking them together. He put his head against Stuart's shoulder.

He kept letting out low, quick moans as he continued to stroke him, then he grunted as Stuart grabbed his hair, softly pulling his head back so he could kiss his neck.

When he hurt Stuart moaning against his ear and threatening that they could get cause, he didn't stand a chance for even a moment. He could feel himself starting to cum. He gripped Stuart tightly, letting out a choked moan. He came embarrassingly fast, but he didn't care. Stuart was so fucking sexy right now and with the added threat of getting caught only escalated his excitement. He released himself all over Stuart's hand.

Stuart smirked. That was easy.... with some more strokes he came too. And his knees almost gave in. He could have bite Murdoc's neck if he could. The adrenaline of someone coming and catching them together with Murdoc's moans was just too much for him.

Quickly still on a daze Stuart put his both erections back into place together with trousers. His hand he just waved trying to get rid of the cum and failing.... He wouldn't wipe it on his shirt. The Satanist came really fast but he didn't even mind.... that was the plan after all.

He had a playful smile on his lips and was much calmer and proud of himself now. "Hope you're.... feeling better now love...." He said panting. He cupped his face with his clean hand and kissed him one more time. "If you cum this fast when we're fucking I would have punished you...." He chuckled pressing his forehead against his. "But anyway ... Thanks for showing me a good shag place.... Hope we find others along the trip...." He winked.

Stoke wasn't just only a bad place in the end.

Murdoc laughed between pants, leaning up against the shed wall. He stood up straighter to give Stuart a small kiss. He saw him try to shake the cum off his hands and smirked at him. He grabbed his hand and slowly licked it off with his long tongue, keeping his eyes on Stuart's the whole time. It'd been a little bit since he'd tasted cum, it was salty and bitter like always though.

When he finished he slurped his tongue back in and swallowed. He was in a fantastic mood and was willing to do anything for Stuart at this point.

"Believe me, love. I know where all the best places to shag are in this town." He winked and smiled. He was still breathing hard slightly and his legs still felt a bit like jelly. He leaned his head against Stuart's shoulder, feeling happy. He never thought he'd feel that here in this town.

"Thank you Stuart.... I am sorry about earlier......" he whispered and interlocked his hands with Stuart's, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Good ‘cuz I want to make you some new good memories on those...." He chucked seeing Murdoc licking his hand. He loved that.

When he noticed he was a bit shaken Stuart held him close chuckling still. "You're really lucky o forgive you so easily, Muds.... really lucky" he whispered into his ear. "And about earlier you still own me for hurting me and for me being.... mercifully with you." He booped his nose.

He pulled a bit off to look into his eyes. Murdoc did an amazing cum face. Stuart leaned closer and kissed him. He didn't even care about the cum taste. He just wanted to see Murdoc with a smile on his face. "Guess I'm learning how to be a delinquent...." He winked to him. "Thanks for.... cleaning my hand love...." He laughed.

Murdoc nodded, "I'll make it up to you, whatever you want Stuart." He smiled. He laughed when he called himself merciful and booped his nose. "You really are.... "

Murdoc wrapped his arms around Stuart, and hugged him tightly, "You really are the little delinquent, but I think you always were, you just needed someone to push you over that edge. Remember when you used to graffiti everything?" He chuckled and looked up at Stuart.

Stuart smiled "I know how exactly you can make it up to me later, Muds...." He smiled deviously placing a strand of his hair behind his ear with his clean hand and kissing his neck.

Than he came back to his adorable self "I think I just needed a partner in crime.... we're like Bonnie and Clyde.... You're Bonnie of course...." He chuckled "Of course I remember.... I miss that...." He looked at his licked hand "Well I think I'm pretty skillful with my hands, Muds.... what can I say?" He stucked his tongue out playfully. The singer was in an excellent mood as well.

Murdoc felt himself blush a bit, he gave Stuart a small chuckle, "Whatever you need me to do." He closed his eyes, content. Only Stuart could do that for him.... he'd let ONLY Stuart do that for him.

When Stu told him he was Bonnie, he snorted, "Oh I don't think so love. You're Bonnie in this corporation and you know it!" He reached around and grabbed Stuart's ass, squeezing and pulling him closer. "You are also pretty skillful with your hands, just like I am with my tongue." He stuck it out and smiled.

"That's why we're the dynamic duo huh?" He laughed louder and kissed his cheek "You're adorable blushing Muds, have I told you that?. And yeah.... think I'll show you my abilities with them later.... if you show me with your tongue"

He childishly tickled his belly just to see Murdoc laugh. "I can be your Bonnie though.... but let's keep this a secret...."

Why didn't they ever acted like this more often.... just taking time in fights and such.... Murdoc was someone amazing to please. He was easy for Stuart change his grumpy face to a smiling one. And God how he loved to see him genuinely smiling.

Murdoc laughed and bent over as Stuart tickled him. "Damnit Stu!" He teased. He was extremely ticklish, but the singer didn't need to know that yet. He didn't think Stuart would be so merciful if he found out. What kind of near 40 year old man is ticklish?

He grabbed Stuart's hand and started walking back towards the pub with him. He squeezed his hand gently and brought it up to kiss, having Stuart walk right up next to him, not behind.

"How's your knee, Bluebird? He asked hesitantly. He felt awful about earlier. He never meant to get so mad, he was scared and took it out on Stu.

Stuart just found out he's ticklish.... how good was that? He smiled just like Grinch finding this out.  Maybe his plans for tonight might have changed a bit now.

Oh. The pub.... "It's okay.... I'll see later when I take my trousers off, Muds...." He was pretty sure it was hurt under. Murdoc was walking pretty fast when he fell. Now he had his forehead with a cut and a knee hurting. Nice.

"It'll be better if you promise next time you won't have me as a target for your anger, my love...." He narrowed his eyes than smiled squeezing his hand lovingly. "Let's have fun and forget that...." He said noticing he was sad he hurt him. Actually he was clumsy.... He could have prevent the fall if he was paying attention.

Murdoc nodded frantically, "Love, I'm going to make it up to you tonight. I'm serious. Whatever you want. Name is Bluebird." He said looking over at him.

He looked down at his knee, "Let’s pull over and we can look real quick, yeah? We will pass the Winnie on the way. We can fix it up for you." He said, as they walked back. He smiled reassuringly at him. He still felt awful, he needed to fix up Stuart before they could proceed. The poor boy seemed hurt. Murdoc should have paid better attention.

When they eventually made it back to the Winnie, he had the boy sit down on a chair. He went and grabbed the first aid kit. "Take off your pants." He said as he walked to grab it.

Stuart was quick to obey taking it off carefully. It was kinda weird not doing that in a sexual way, but he liked pretty much Murdoc taking care of him.

As he thought it was injured, a bit of blood in it. He looked at it with a sad face. He shouldn’t have landed using his knee as support. "Here, Muds.... not that bad." he smiled.

Murdoc looked at it for a moment then knelt down in front of him. Even if it wasn't TOO bad, it was still too much. Murdoc still felt so bad. He took some antibacterial cleaning wipes and gently dabbed and wiped away the blood and dirt from the ripped knee.

When it was clean, he put a disinfectant on it, and then he put a larger band-aid on it. When he was done, he kissed his knee. He looked up at Stuart as he kissed his knee, then started kissing gently down his thigh. He kept his eyes on him the whole time.

When he got closer to his grown and he was thoroughly between the singer’s legs, he looked up and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"I'll try not to take my anger out on you anymore.... I'm truly sorry...." he whispered.

Stuart felt blessed. even another times when Murdoc was really soft and caring with him, this one meant a lot.... he didn’t know why but.... his touch was gentle and made him happy.

He shivered when his kisses didn’t stop. He bit his lip.... even being a tender moment Murdoc knew how to make him a bit riled up. He smiled to him and blushed adorably.

Gently he lifted his head with his fingertips making Murdoc look at him. He bent over and kissed him. "I believe you...." he whispered back. "I forgive you love...." he hugged him back tightly. He loved when he was so soft and so caring. He placed his leg on the floor and he actually felt much better. "Thank you Muds...." he stood up

Murdoc smiled and stood up with Stuart. He kept his arms around his waist and pulled him close. Murdoc put his hands down over his ass and gave him quick squeeze, sticking his tongue out playfully.

"You got no pants on Pots." He laughed. He let Stuart go so he could put them back on. "I was gonna show you the pub, was there anywhere else you wanted to go? The pub should have food, I think, if you're hungry." He said, lighting a cigarette.

"You tell me Muds, I'm a foreigner here you're the guide...." he said pulling his trousers back up. "You’re lucky I don’t bother you squeezing my ass all the time...." he chuckled putting his belt back.

"Let’s go to the pub and eat there.... " he told him with a smile. "Or drink if you want...." he said going outta the Winnie "actually you're really good choosing places to date, love...." he complimented to make sure he did everything okay that day. However, even okay Stuart was still thinking about what the witch told them.

Murdoc smiled, grabbing Stuart's hand and walking out of the Winnie and towards the pub. "Thanks Bluebird, and you couldn't stop me from touching that ass or we will have problems." He laughed. They strolled slowly down the street with him. He noticed more people out now as it was getting later in the afternoon.

They got close to the pub. Murdoc could see it in the distance. He tried to ignore what the witch had told them, it nagged at the back of his mind however. If he drank a bit, then he'd easily forget.

He pointed out a few different places on the way, talking about how he'd passed out there or how he'd found his dad drunk over there. How his brother had chased him with a stick when Murdoc shagged his girlfriend. His brother caught him and beat his ass, but it was funny anyways. He'd never seen his brother so mad.

Stuart followed him once again hearing his stories carefully. Again no one with a happy ending but he was getting the idea already. "So I see Paula wasn't the first you stole huh?" he teased folding his arms with a raised brow.

He wanted to go to the pub but nor exactly to get drunk...... he just wanted to have fun with Murdoc. And he wondered I his brother were still in town. He was actually curious to meet him.

Murdoc flinched at the comment, laughing nervously. "To be fair, they both came on to me mate. But, if it makes you feel better, my brother really kicked my ass, I think enough for both times." He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. He really did not look good in his stories half the time.

He walked with Stuart to the bar, opening the door for him. He hadn't been inside this place in YEARS, he was curious if it all looked the same. When he followed in after Stuart, he took a quick glance around. It wasn't super modern, but it was updated since he'd been there last.

 He guided Stuart by the waist to a nearby booth. They had menus for the food and an extensive ale, beer and wine list but the bar also had hard alcohol. There was a small band playing in the corner, the bar at the other, with a small dance floor. There were some dartboard and pool tables on another end, in a smaller room. It was still similar to when he'd been there. He smiled at Stuart. "What do you think?"

"If I could I would have kicked, but Russel was quicker" He joked, of course he wouldn’t do it.

Stuart wandered around seeing how it was really nice. He smiled. "I loved it Mu’doc.... you chose a nice place..." he told him honestly. He looked at the band "I just think we could do better than them......" he teased. He wondered if Murdoc ever danced in a dance floor or played pool... He just couldn’t help smiling.

He looked through the menu and was all really expensive. He didn’t even know half of what was written what was. he looked at him "thanks for bringing me here love......" he whispered fondly. "What you wanna do first....?"

Murdoc smiled and looked over at the band. He noticed the door, when they had entered, said karaoke tonight, he wondered if he should tell the singer. He'd for sure want to sing. If Murdoc got drunk enough, he might even sing.

"Well.... in a bit they are going to do karaoke...." he smiled at his singer. "But we should eat first." He said as a cute young waitress came over, smiling at the two.

"What can I get you two handsome boys?" She said cheerfully. Murdoc gave her his charming smile, "Well, love, we'll start with smoked haddock, cheddar and pea fishcakes to start. We'll look over the rest of the menu soon. But I would like a whiskey, double, and straight please. And Stuart here would like...." he gestured to the boy to see what he wanted.

On the other side of the pub he heard some rowdy yelling from the guy working the bar and a group of people around him. With the dim lighting and crowded bar he couldn't tell anyone apart over there. He brought his attention back to Stuart.

Stuart listened him.... it seemed that Murdoc was really into what they served on the bar. "A beer please..." He said shyly and smiled to Murdoc. That waitress was really young and cute. Stuart hated how Murdoc became charming around girls when they weren't flirting with the singer. "Think we can share what you ordered right, Muds?"

He looked at the karaoke wondering if they had any Gorillaz songs. He would like to sing. He heard the guy too but didn't bother. He was focused on Murdoc.

Murdoc smiled at the singer, "Of course, love. We'll share." He looked up to the waitress again, making sure she heard that.

She blushed and smiled, looking between the two. "Okay, darlings, we'll have everything out soon." She winked at Murdoc, but he just ignored it. As flattered as he was since he always loved to have his ego stroked, he had Stuart and that's all he care about. He looked at Stuart and she walked off, slightly disappointed.

Murdoc put his elbow on the table and rest his head in his hands. He stared at Stuart fondly, a smile on his face. He adored his blue hair and black eyes, his small face, and long neck and body.

"You're gorgeous...." he whispered at Stuart and winking.

Stuart blushed.... He wasn't ready for the compliment.... so he tried to joke. "So are you.... do you come here often sweetie....?" He said taking his hand and chuckling. He bet the food was delicious  Murdoc didn't bother him for asking just a beer .... And he made clear for the waiter they were together. He felt a little more relieved.

 Soon he was playing with his fingers on the table. "Thanks Muds...." He said about the compliment. He couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. That was Murdoc's place and he felt like a stranger there. "You're the best...." He whispered with an adorable face.

Actually, Murdoc could manage to say sweet things not drunk and not getting too embarrassed.

Murdoc chuckled at his joke. "I only come here when there are beautiful blue haired babes here." He stuck his tongue out playfully. He smiled even wider as he told him he was the best.

He heard the loud shouting again and looked over. As long as the rowdy crowd stayed over there he was fine. He knew how drunk Stokesmen could get....

The waitress brought their drinks and appetizers. She tried smiling at Murdoc again but he didn't care, nor notice. He gave her a quick smile to order their main food for later.

"Yeah, can we get two beef and pedigree ale pies? That okay Stu? It's one of my favorites here, you got to try it." He asked, squeezing his hand gently.

Stuart flinched when he heard more yelling. He swallowed hard and hoped they wouldn't come over "bet it's your lucky day so......" He chuckled.

"It's okay for me Muds... "He smiled fondly. He was actually feeling hungry after so much time walking around. "Anything you want will be good for me, my love." he told the last words a bit louder so the woman could get the idea.

The waitress frowned as Murdoc chuckled. She quickly turned and walked back to the kitchen. He grabbed on of the fishcakes and took a small bite. He nodded and held the other half up for Stuart to bite.

"It's really good! Try some." He grabbed his drink and took a sip of his whiskey. The whiskey was beautifully smooth. He felt it slide down his throat and it warmed him. He waited for Stuart to take a bite.

Stuart was glad to take the other half. "It's good" he said excitedly. He took some for him happily. He began trying everything that was on the table while he waited for more to come.

Once when he took the first bite he realized how hungry he actually was. "Thanks for ordering for us Muds...." He opened his beer drinking a sip of it

"I told you, and of course!" Murdoc beamed at Stuart as he ate. He was happy the kid liked it. He was even more happy when he took a sip of his beer. He wanted to make sure Stuart had a good time with him at the pub to make up for hurting him.

"Hey! Look at these two over here...." said one of the men from the bar as he stumbled their way. He was an older man with a batch beard covering an ugly, worn face. He was missing a few teeth and he smelled horribly of booze.

Murdoc turned to the man, "Can I help you?" He asked slowly as the guy stumbled up next to them, leaning on the table slightly for balance. Murdoc quickly glanced to the bar and noticed they were all watching.

"Yeah, it looks like you and.... your friends here.... are having a good time feeding each other." He slowly looked Stuart up and down, then turned back to Murdoc. "You two a couple of fairies?" He laughed and grabbed one of their fish cakes and started to eat it slowly.

Murdoc eyed the man. He didn't want to completely ruin their trip by going off on the man. He assessed if he could beat him in a fight if it needed, the man was quite drunk, but he was also was much bigger than Murdoc. He decided to stay civil.

"We're just enjoying a meal, it's a very good fish cake, just as good as the ones here over 10 years ago." He said calmly.

"Ai, that it is, boy. You were here 10 years ago?" The man asked, easily distracted.

Murdoc smiled charmingly, "That I was. Maybe you know a Sebastian Niccals? I'm his son, Murdoc." The guys face lit up at the name and he started laughing boisterously.

"Really now? Hey Hannibal! This man seems to be your dear old brother!" He turned towards the man working the bar, which Murdoc only now realized who it was. It was, indeed Hannibal. He looked to Stuart.

Stuart flinched when he saw that big man coming. He was horrible and scary. A pub fight wasn't his best plan for a date. Anyway he was glad Murdoc was at least civil.

He stood silent looking at them while they talked. Even stopped eating. When he heard the name Hannibal he froze. He looked at the direction the man was pointing and he saw an older and worse version of Murdoc working at the bar. He swallowed hard "actually younger brother...." He said in a low tone.

He looked at Murdoc and encouraged him to go there and say hi to his brother. Maybe the waiter would come with the rest of their dishes and he needed to receive them "oh is that your brother, Muds....?" He asked dumbly. Unsure of what to do

Murdoc looked from Stuart back to Hannibal, who was looking curiously at Murdoc. Murdoc swallowed, he didn't think he'd see Hannibal at all. The drunk guy walked back over to the bar and talked to Hannibal, he couldn't hear him though.

Murdoc didn't want to leave, they were having a good time. Before he could make his decision, he saw Hannibal coming over.

"Shit...." he muttered and looked back at Stuart.

"Little brother!" Hannibal said with a smile and open arms as he walked over to them. Murdoc gave Stuart a final look, one that looked apologetic. He then turned to Hannibal with his charming smile and got out of the booth seat to greet his brother. They gave each other a big hug.

Hannibal pulled away and looked Murdoc up and down. "Wow Doc, the famous life suits you." He laughed and ruffled Murdoc's hair.

Murdoc chuckled and fixed his hair. "Yeah, yeah. Famous life does fit me. So you've heard our stuff then, yeah?" He asked.

Hannibal nodded, "Yeah, not bad, little brother." He looked over and noticed Stuart. "And who're you?" He asked. "Oh, wait. You're the singer, right?"

Stuart witnessed this brother's interaction after that scary guy left. He sighed in relieve. He was surprised by how Hannibal looked like Murdoc just older and smiled sweetly to the Satanist when he looked at the singer. "Doc" that was a nice nickname.

He gave Murdoc a "go ahead" look. He didn't mind at all even noticing Murdoc was nervous having his brother around. The singer didn't have any sibling so he didn't know how it felt. Especial after so many years.

Stuart was about to start eating again when Hannibal talked to him "oh, I am his singer, Stuart. But you may call me 2D" he tried his best to be polite and offer him a smile. "Pleasure to meet you."

Murdoc swallowed as Hannibal looked at him again. "Ah, pleasure to meet you 2D." He said. He turned back to Murdoc. "Ignore Dan, that guy's a fucking cunt." He gestured to the drunk from earlier. "Like my brother's a fag, I remember when you'd fuck every woman that would give you a smile." Hannibal laughed and turned to 2D.

"I bet you get your fair share of women, don’tchya? Be careful though, this guy might steal her." He laughed again and clapped Murdoc on the shoulder.

"Well.... actually, Hannibal. I'm...." with Stuart was all he needed to say but he froze. Hannibal looked at him to finish his sentence, curious as to what he would say. Murdoc looked at Stuart. The boy had a polite smile and he looked interested in their interaction. He was adorable, as always. He felt stronger and looked back at Hannibal.

"We're together." He said without hesitation. Hannibal’s eyebrow went up curiously. He looked back at Stuart then Murdoc, then back at Stuart. He was silent a moment.

"You really do fuck anything, don't you? He is very pretty I suppose." Hannibal laughed, looking back at Murdoc. "So you are a fag now, yeah?" He asked.

Murdoc frowned and growled a warning, "Easy, Hannibal." Hannibal laughed. His laugh was similar to Murdoc’s.

"Alright, alright, I'm only joshing. Take it easy." He said, putting up his hands in mock surrender. He looked at Stuart, "My apologies, little dove." He gave Stu a charming Niccals smile. Murdoc didn't like that. He knew his brother wasn't against gays when they were kids, but he would tease anyone mercilessly. He wondered if he'd changed at all. He didn't need him teasing Stuart.

Stuart was about to tell Hanibbal they were together but Murdoc was faster. He plastered that smile trying to be as soft as he could not to make Murdoc angry, losing totally his hunger and became as nervous as ever. He ignored his comments about Murdoc behavior toward woman. He knew how he was before, Hannibal didn't tell anything new for him.

He got really annoyed by how Hannibal talked he would fuck anything. He felt like nothing. But that's okay he let it pass. 'We're both fags' Stuart wanted to say but he held his tongue. His laugh was really similar to Murdoc's... even his way of talking. It sent shivers down his spine. Anyway the singer was happy he told his brother they were.... together.

Stuart swallowed hard at his charming smile. It could be even faker than Murdoc's. He was definitely an worst version of his boyfriend. Was he allowed to tell this word? He thought.

"Yeah me and Muds.... We're together...." He smiled and held him by his waist. A bit more confident "we decided to have dinner here, he didn't know you worked here at all, was a nice surprise I guess...." He tried to soothe things for Murdoc. He didn't mind being teased, he just wanted the Satanist comfortable. And he felt like he was failing in that.

"Muds? You two have even cute little pet names?" He laughed and looked back at Stuart. Murdoc pursed his lips, he didn't like Hannibal looking at Stuart like that. The man talked about Murdoc fucking everything, but Hannibal was just as bad.

Hannibal got closer to Stuart. "Blue hair and black eyes. Interesting. How'd that happen?" He reached up to play with a lock of Stuart's hair. Murdoc growled again. He didn't say anything yet, only because he wanted to stay civil and technically Hannibal wasn't doing anything.... yet. He watched Stuart to see if he was uncomfortable.

Stuart slipped. He didn't think he was the only one to call him like this. He swallowed hard. He was just called little dove for fucks sake. The only person who talked like that was his mother and it wasn’t in a teasing way. It was genuine.

Instinctively Stuart went closer Murdoc. He was uncomfortable but he tried hard to focus in not feel intimidated by him. He didn't need Murdoc "saving" him from his own brother. He could take care of himself

"I fell from a tree when younger and got this blue hair. My eyes I had a car accident, they're fractured but I still can see." He said in a serious tone and didn’t smile to Hannibal. He wouldn't mention it was Murdoc's fault. Hannibal would tease him twice as much.

He looked to Murdoc growling with a sweet expression like 'I can handle that'. Even Hannibal being teasing he was with Murdoc and nothing would change that. He squeezed his waist tighter, pulling him together with the singer.

Murdoc noticed how Stuart pulled him a bit closer. Hannibal seemed to notice as well. He brought his hand back to his side and gave another charming smile. When he had gotten close to Stuart, he'd noticed how Hannibal was nearly as tall, as the singer.

"Well," Hannibal said, clapping his hands together. "I need to get back to work, my shift ends in a few hours. If you arse bandits are still here by then, I'd love to have a drink! Catch up, like old times, yeah Doc?" He clapped both guys on their shoulders. He gave Stuart's an extra squeeze and gave him a glance and a quick smile.

He then walked back to the bar and started talking with his group again, all of them getting loud and chatty once more, as if nothing happened.

Murdoc had them sit back down at the booth quickly. He sat there staring at the starters that were now cold. He downed his drink quickly and looked at Stuart, apologetically.

"Sorry...." he said.

Stuart felt like puking when Hannibal did that. But he stood with his sweet smile on his face. If Murdoc wanted he would join him drinking if he didn't like. Hannibal looked like a guy who doesn't get a no as an answer.

Stuart sat down and took a deep breath feeling relieved. Even Hannibal not being a dick or sorta, he noticed how Murdoc was uncomfortable with him around. He felt bad at him.

"That's okay Muds, nothing to be sorry about." He said in a sweet manner and tried to continue eating. Even cold it was edible at least. His hands were shaking. He didn't like how Hannibal treated him but he wouldn't say a word about that. He didn't like how his father treated Murdoc as well....

The difference was that Murdoc deserved. Stuart didn't so anything for Hannibal tease him and be mean. But he wouldn't worry Murdoc so he took his beer all at once and kept eating silently trying to forget what happened. "Will you want to join him to drink later....?" He said still looking down to the food.

Murdoc swallowed and looked up at Stuart  "We don't really have a choice. I think if we tried to leave he'd just follow us to where ever. If he's anything like our father, he gets what he wants in the end. It'd be easier to just get it over with and be done with it."

The waitress came over and gave them their pies. She smiled sweetly at Murdoc. He noticed she had unbuttoned her blouse a little more to show more cleavage.

"Anything else hon?" She asked, looking at Murdoc, and just blatantly ignoring Stuart. He sighed.

"Another whiskey please." He said without looking at her, holding up the glass for her. She didn't say anything, but took the glass, touching Murdoc's hand longer than necessary.

"Be right back with that." She smiled at him and grabbed their other plates they were finished with and walked off. Murdoc growled.

"Christ, I forgot how much of a dumpster fire this place was...." he shook his head and looked at Stuart. The boy looked upset. He took his hand. "Hey. Fuck all of them. We are still going to have a good time. Got it? Fuck Hannibal, and fuck that waitress. We will have a good time, tell Hannibal to jog on after a time and go? Yeah?" He smiled and kissed his hand sweetly. "Now eat so we can go karaoke, yeah?" He said digging into his pie.

Stuart nodded to his statement. Maybe it was better just not fight back. Again that whore came but he didn't do anything. "Okay Muds.... I just don't think you getting drunk will help anything." He said tiredly.

He noticed how she behaved how she was ignoring him. All that. But he felt so overwhelmed that if he tried to scream or shout at her Hannibal and his squad would just notice and come to tease even more. He ignored feeling hurt inside.

Stuart smiled when he held his hand "we can do that...." He said not really believing his own words "I don't feel like karaoke Muds.... I'm sorry" he told him honestly "if you want me to join you I can, but I don't feel like singing" he was ashamed and scared of Hannibal comments on his voice. His Bluebird didn’t want to sing.

He grabbed a thin slice of the pie trying to eat so he wouldn't make Murdoc anger. But he was so sad he didn't even feel like eating the pie. "That’s delicious Muds.... good choice...." He said softly with a smile. It was really good he just didn't feel like eating at all.


	34. Stairway to Heaven

Murdoc frowned sadly. Stuart sounded upset, he knew over time how that sounded. He was holding Stuart's hand when the waitress came back over. She set the glass down and put her hand on Murdoc's shoulder. He flinched and gave her a piercing look.

"Thank you for the drink, but can you kindly get your hand off me?" He said, staring at her. She quickly removed her hand and apologized. She left just as quick, obviously embarrassed.

He turned his attention back to Stuart. Murdoc knew what he had to do. When his Bluebird didn't want to sing, he had to fix that in any way possible.

He nodded to himself, took a deep breath, and grabbed his drink. He downed his second drink immediately and cleared his throat. He gave Stuart the sweetest smile and kissed his hand again.

"I think I'll need to be a little drunk for this next part, love." He chuckled. He stood up and leaned over, giving Stuart a deep kiss. He heard a few hoots, hollers, and whistles from the bar. He sent them a finger to which they laughed.

He stood up, feeling only slightly buzzed. His heart was beating a million miles a minute and his hands were slightly sweaty. He hadn't done something like this since he was younger.

He walked up to the little band. They were going to play one or two more songs before letting the karaoke DJ take over. He went up to the singer, who recognized him immediately.

"You're Murdoc, from Gorillaz! And that's 2D!" The singer said excitedly. Murdoc smiled and nodded.

"Ai, we are. And I need to cheer up my singer. Can you guys help me out?" He asked. They agreed and he told them which song to play. He went up to the mic, his mouth dry, his hands shaking slightly. He looked at Stuart nervously but gave him a small smile when the guitarist started playing 'Stairway to Heaven."

He stood up straight, taking a deep breath and sang in his rough voice. He kept his eyes on Stuart the entire time.

_There's a lady who's sure_

_All that glitters is gold_

_And she's buying a stairway to heaven_

_When she gets there she knows_

_If the stores are all closed_

_With a word she can get what she came for_

_Oh oh oh oh and she's buying a stairway to heaven_

Stuart flinched when he was rude with the waitress. But he finally smiled satisfied that Murdoc got rid of her. He really didn’t know how to deal with woman around Murdoc. He pretended he didn’t care. It only told him Murdoc was charming enough to catch other people's attention.

His eyes widened with that kiss. He wasn’t expecting that. But he welcomed and his eyes fluttered closed. He did something that Stuart even drunk wouldn’t be able to. He smiled dumbly trying to process what had just happened.

Before he could understand what happened Murdoc was already far from him. For a moment Stuart thought that he was gonna talk to Hannibal or to the waitress. But he went to.... the band? Stuart waved to the singer who recognized him politely. He thought for a moment that he would tell them to leave ‘cuz they were awful or ask Stuart to sing. He swallowed hard.

His jaw fell when he heard stairway to heaven, he couldn’t believe. Murdoc didn’t have to do all that.... he felt his heart racing again and his face was even paler. His smile just grew. Stuart with a strength that came from God knows where stood up and limped to the front of the stage and looked at him. His lip was quivering and he had tears on his eyes. But he was smiling. He mouthed an "I love you" when he started singing.

To show Murdoc he was actually better he went up the stage and "stole" the microphone from his hand and started to sing the next part like a duet. He wouldn’t let him go through that alone.

_‘There's a sign on the wall_

_But she wants to be sure_

_'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings_

_In a tree by the brook_

_There's a songbird who sings_

_Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiving....’_

He offered Murdoc the microphone again shakily so he could sing or they could share the next part. Some stubborn tears falling but he kept smiling. There were just the two of them in that moment.... no one else mattered. He decided to sing to thank Murdoc, for everything.

_That was definitely their song._

Murdoc was elated when he saw him mouth 'I love you' and took the microphone and started singing. His heart fluttered. Stuart was there for him. He didn't care about anyone else. He didn't care about his brother, the drunks, the waitress, nor the ghosts of his past. He only cared about his singer right here, right now.

When Stuart handed him the microphone back, he took it and lifted his other hand to wipe away some of Stuart's tears. He winked, smiled and started the next part, keeping his eyes on the singer the entire time.

_There's a feeling I get_

_When I look to the west_

_And my spirit is crying for leaving_

_In my thoughts I have seen_

_Rings of smoke through the trees_

_And the voices of those who standing looking_

He gave a quick glance out and saw a bunch of the drunks kind of watching. Hannibal was watching with a smirk. He didn't care, this was his time with Stuart.

He wrapped his arm around Stuart's shoulders and pulled him close as the other singer did the small chorus for them. He held the microphone up and sang the next part.

"And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune, then the piper will lead us to reason. And a new day will dawn for those who stand long, and the forests will echo with laughter."  He held the microphone up for the both of them to sing into for the next part. He held Stuart close, standing shoulder to shoulder and swayed with him. He was smiling ear to ear. He was nervous, but he knew this was more than worth it to see the smile on the singer’s face.

Stuart kept smiling. He noticed other people approaching but being with Murdoc all the time gave him the strength to go ahead and don't stop singing.

He didn't even notice that now he was sharing the microphone with Murdoc. Something that he never thought that in a million years would happen. He felt really in heaven now.

_‘ if there's a bustle in your hedgerow_

_Don't be alarmed now_

_It's just a spring clean for the May queen_

_Yes, there are two paths you can go by_

_But in the long run_

_There's still time to change the road you're on_

_And it makes me wonder’_

He swayed with Murdoc following and always looked into his eyes. Mesmerized by them. By the way they shone. He never saw that kind of light into the Satanist’s eyes.

He involuntarily remembered when his father forced him into singing on the stage... that stupid Pinocchio song...... Maybe Hannibal was on the crowd looking at his shame.... now Murdoc was fighting against a past ghost. And he was winning with his help. His cheeks blushed with this thought.

He took a glance and even that whore waitress stopped to look at them. Actually almost whole pub was looking at them by now. He wrapped his free arm around his waist and smiled widely.

He went to the next part. Soon the song would change to the rock part and he wanted to know what Murdoc would do.

_‘Your head is humming and it won't go_

_In case you don't know_

_The piper's calling you to join him_

_Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow_

_And did you know_

_Your stairway lies on the whispering wind’_

As the song went into a guitar solo, which Murdoc thought the small band guitarist pulled off decently, he put the mic in the stand and grabbed Stuart, one hand around his waist and the other linked with Stuart's hand. He looked at Stuart and winked again.

He spun around with Stuart, and dipped him down, just like he'd done in Stuart's room. Of course, he didn't get quite as close with their hips in public like this, but he still made it fun and close.

When he dipped Stuart, he gave those watching his famous charming smile, then snaked his long tongue out playfully, similar to how he'd done it in one stage many times before.

Some of the people laughed, some looked a bit upset. Others didn't seem to care. He didn't see Hannibal anymore. He danced with Stuart a little more, spinning him around and laughing with Stuart.

When it came time to sing again, he let go of Stuart, but kept his eyes on Stuart. He put his hands over the mic, keeping it on the stand as he sang into it. He tried to put as much power into his singing as he could for this part.

And as we wind on down the road

_Our shadows taller than our soul_

_There walks a lady we all know_

_Who shines white light and wants to show_

_How everything still turns to gold_

_And if you listen very hard_

_The tune will come to you at last_

_When all are one and one is all_

_To be a rock and not to roll_

He grabbed Stuart by the waist and pulled him incredibly close to the mic, looking into his eyes once more as he gently sung the last part, "And she's buying the stairway to heaven......."

Stuart just wondered how drunk Murdoc actually was doing all that. He let himself be guided as the Satanist wanted chuckling lightly as he was really having fun. He didn't bother any other judging looks. He wanted to smile all he prevented himself whole day.

Stuart's heart was on his throat when Murdoc began singing with passion and love. It reminded him of them into the bedroom. But now they had some crowd to see. It was so beautiful.

Stuart would have sang with him but he was too busy mesmerized by his eyes to notice the song was almost over. When the place became silent telling the song was over... He licked his lips and went further and kissed him. Again, passion and adrenaline took him over and he couldn't stop himself.

He did that so hard the Mic fell on the floor making an awful sound but he didn't even care. Some people clapped others shouted others went away. It was like what Murdoc did in front of everybody on the MTV award.... But it was Stuart's time now. In his hometown.

He broke the kiss and hugged him whispering into his ear "thank you, Blackbird I love you."

Murdoc was breathing hard from the adrenaline, nervousness, and from singing. He had been surprised when the singer kissed him on stage and chuckled when Stuart hugged him. He pet his blue hair and hugged him back.

"I love you too Stuart. Thank you for coming up here. Thought I was going to die." He laughed and pulled away a bit, smiling at the singer. He looked to the band and thanked them. He wrote his number on a napkin and gave it to them incase they ever needed anything.

He then walked with Stuart, hand-in-hand, back to their booth. He had Stuart sit on the inside of the booth on the same side as him, preparing for when his brother came. He didn't want Hannibal touching Stuart anymore.

He looked at the singer after flagging down another beer and whiskey for the two of them. "How are you feeling now?" He smiled.

Stuart sat down and took a deep breath. "Like bonnie" he joked laughing a bit. " I'm really, really happy.... I can't believe you did that Mu’doc.... we actually sang together!" He looked at the Satanist "I could marry you right now...." He said honestly. "How are you feeling? Besides drunk?" He joked leaning closer him.

Now he felt he could face Hannibal or anyone. He had the strength for that. With Murdoc he felt like he could do anything. He felt so lucky to have Murdoc just for him.

Murdoc chuckled, "Believe it or not, I'm only barely buzzed. I ate before drinking, so it only barely hit me. I can't believe we did that either......" he smiled. He really couldn't believe it. He was so excited by it though. This was the happiest moment ever. It trumped all the shitty things that had happened to him in this town.

"I feel amazing." He said with a sweet smile. "Thanks Stuart. You make me the happiest man ever." He wrapped his around Stuart's shoulders and sat close to him. He put some of their pie on a fork and held it up for Stuart to take a bite. Then he took a bite.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a bit, enjoying the pie and still riding their high. If Murdoc was alone he'd bend the singer over right here and now.... or have him bend Murdoc over, either way honestly. He told himself he just had to endure his brother soon and then they could.

Stuart smiled eating the pie that now tasted a lot better. He felt his eyes stung again when he heard Murdoc was happy. No the happiest ‘cuz of him. Someone who he could tell never experienced genuine happiness.... in the end Stuart wasn't that stupid.

He felt blessed... He kissed his cheek with a light chuckle. Now he felt like he achieved his goal. "You're the best, Muds" he whispered.

"Yeah, I really am, aren't I?" He laughed and winked at Stuart, letting him know it was a joke. Suddenly they were interrupted by Hannibal flopping down in the booth across from them. He was visibly drunk. Murdoc frowned, this would be a little harder than he thought.

"Little brother! 2D. That was really beautiful." He slurred. When the waitress brought them their drinks, he told her to bring him a scotch. She nodded and left. Hannibal turned to watch the couple, a small smirk on his lips.

"So.... I've been wondering.... I don't know much about fags...., which one of you is, I dunno, what's it called? Top? Bottom?" He chuckled.

"Christ...." Murdoc growled under his breath. He was embarrassed for his brother’s behavior. Stuart's family had, mostly, been so sweet to him. Now he had.... this drunk mess to show Stuart.

"The boys and I are taking bets. Most of them think Murdoc is the top, but not me baby brother. I think you're the bottom, because why else would you choose men? You fuck every girl possible, why bother with men? Unless they can do something for you women can't." He chuckled and winked at Stuart.

Murdoc sighed, he knew what his brother was doing. This was a jealous Hannibal. When he got jealous, he became spitefully mean. What he was jealous of, Murdoc wasn't quite sure. Was he jealous of Murdoc's fame? Or was it over Stuart? He didn't think his brother was gay. Whatever it was, it didn't matter.

"Hannibal, we aren't going to stay if you're going to be a cunt. Now settle down or fuck off, yeah?" He said frankly, as the waitress brought Hannibal his scotch. He smacks her ass and smiled as she giggled.

Stuart rolled his eyes to his question. Thankfully Hannibal couldn't see his pupils. He noticed he was already drunk and about to be drunker. Hannibal looked like a Murdoc who didn't find his Stuart.... in an analogy.

Stuart ignored his wink. He just hoped everything went just fine and for a miracle, Hannibal gave up teasing them and leave before they did anything hideous. He wouldn’t give him this taste. And of course he didn't saw any hint of jealousy in Hannibal as he didn't know him. He was just silent and behaved

 He leaned closer Murdoc. He gave up being drunk that night. Something told him they would end up fighting or sorta. If they were alone he would have drink so he kept his beer untouched.

He didn't say anything to add Murdoc's angry answer. He squeezed his knee under the table giving him a 'calm down' look. If Murdoc was patient and didn't snap back Hannibal would give up and leave right?

Murdoc was breathing a little harder, angry. Thank Satan Stuart was there next to him to remind him to calm down. Hannibal finished with the waitress and turned his attention back to Murdoc and Stuart. He sipped his drink.

"So.... which is it then?" Hannibal asked Murdoc. He turned to 2D and watched him, smirking. "Do you take it up the arse?" He snickered. "I can see him putting your pretty little blue hair as he does, I could see myself doing that. I bet you cry-"

Murdoc snapped and interrupted him, "Enough! No more of that. Last chance Hannibal!" He hissed through clenched teeth. He couldn't get too upset, he needed to remain calm and not cause a scene.

Hannibal chuckled, knowing what he was doing was affecting Murdoc. "Fine. Fine. Sorry Doc." He said, taking another sip.

"So.... 2D.... how'd you two meet, originally?" Hannibal asked. "I don't think I've heard the story in any of the media."

Stuart frowned. Why the hell he wanted to know that? Does it made any difference? Well Murdoc hissed again and he seemed easily defeated. If Murdoc did something like that again Hannibal would know he won. Stuart got quickly that what his brother wanted was Murdoc kissed making a scene.... And he was falling. Stuart remained serious. No smiles.

Stuart noticed that all the questions Hannibal was asking him.... all smiles and chuckles were directed to him. Was his brother flirting with him? Maybe for .... a revenge from Murdoc stealing his girlfriend's? No it couldn't be.... Hannibal was even older than Murdoc this was so.... childish. Something Stuart and Murdoc would have done when they were younger. He shook his head to those thoughts.

"It’s something fans often ask." He didn't buy Hannibal never heard of that. "I had an accident..." He looked at Murdoc should he tell the truth? "Mu’doc ran over me while I was working in a music shop and I immediately was knocked in a coma. He took care of me for a year till I woke up again. So I joined his band" he quickly explained suppressing the details.

Hannibal watched 2D as he talked, keeping a small smirk on his lips. Murdoc was about ready to pounce on Hannibal. This was ridiculous. His brother was still acting like how he used to when they were young and Murdoc was playing right into it. He couldn't help it though.

Hannibal nodded, "Interesting.... so he hit you and you are together now, in a band no less?" He took another sip of his drink. Murdoc grabbed his and took a drink. This was the type of instance that made him want to drink a barrel of whiskey. He looked at Murdoc.

"How do you fucking run a car into a building?" He snickered. Murdoc squeezed his whiskey glass.

"It was an accident. You went to jail for some petty theft, dumbass." Murdoc growled as he took another bigger sip. Hannibal narrowed his eyes.

"At least I'm not a short, greasy, git. I actually grew and my nose doesn't look like a fucking knot on my face. And I'm not a fag." Hannibal growled back.

"Yeah, well at least I'm not a fucking loser stuck in this goddamn town, bar tending. You're turning into dad, you piece of shit." Murdoc spat. He was squeezing his glass hard, clenching his teeth. Hannibal’s eye twitched and he was silent for a moment, then he finished his drink.

"You know who I saw the other day? Mrs. Piece.... you remember her right?" Murdoc furrowed his brows trying to remember who the hell he's talking about.

"Our old dinner lady.... you remember her...." Murdoc's eyes widened and his face went pale. He was talking about the lady he'd lost his virginity to.... Murdoc didn't know Hannibal knew about that, he hadn't told Stuart the full truth yet.

"Shut up...." Murdoc said through clenched teeth, he was beginning to shake. This was low, even for Hannibal

Stuart just watched both man talking and things getting rough. He bit his lip. It was all bearable and he would interfere when Hannibal spoke of this lady and Stuart thought it was another girl he shagged or an ex-girlfriend.... His slow brain couldn’t process Murdoc had already spoken to him of her.

He looked at Murdoc and he was about to break down. He didn't understand why at all. His hand was still on his knee. He looked back to Hannibal frowning.... He asked himself 'who's her?' but didn't dare to ask. There was something really wrong with Murdoc he could tell.

Hannibal smiled evilly. He knew that's what got Murdoc. He knew how to make him tick. Hannibal turned his attention to 2D, taking this opportunity. He leaned forward.

"Did he tell you about this? Your confused look says no, little dove."  Hannibal laughed in a sinister manner.

"SHUT UP." Murdoc growled again, but Hannibal continued.

"This one here, hit puberty at 9 and suddenly thought he was hot shit. He did catch the eye of the dinner lady though. Oh she was quite a looker though, everyone wanted her, even I wanted her. But apparently she liked them.... young." He talked about it as if it was an other simple topic. Murdoc was shaking uncontrollably with anger by this point.

"He came home crying-" Hannibal started saying, his words heavy with a spiteful hatred. Before he could say more he was interrupted by Murdoc grabbing the nearest dinner knife and angrily stabbing it into the table, eyes glaring daggers at Hannibal, who was quiet now.

"You," he hissed quietly through clenched teeth. The anger was dripping from him, oozing a heavy presence. "Are going to shut the fuck up, or I will make sure you join father in hell and I will see you there shortly." It was still and quiet.

When he heard that laugh Stuart's blood went cold. He listened to his explanation. All made sense in his head now and he couldn't believe that Hannibal was bringing this topic up. Why? He bit his lip.

He went totally pale when he hit that knife. He pulled his both arms to his lap scared. He couldn’t say anything. He came to the realization this lady should have taken his virginity. That was low.... Why he wanted to purposefully hurt Murdoc that way?

He looked at them two and just wished everything was over. He was shaking from fear. Fear that Murdoc would do something bad to Hannibal, scared he would really finish the story and his suppositions were right. He froze and swallowed hard.

He wouldn’t think anything bad about Murdoc and this lady.... it wouldn't make him love Murdoc less or fight with him. This was an issue Murdoc didn't have the courage to talk to Stuart and maybe no one in life.... And Hannibal knew. Something told Stuart Murdoc didn't know his brother knew.... He was slowly falling into his trick and Stuart couldn't do anything about it

Murdoc was holding onto the knife tightly and shaking. He was breathing hard, trying his hardest to calm down. Hannibal looked to visibly gulp. He hadn't expected it to hit Murdoc that hard. He hadn't been expecting to do this either to Murdoc, but something about seeing how happy his brother was and how miserable he felt in comparison. He wanted to destroy that. He thought flirting with 2D would be the best way, then Murdoc had told him he was becoming dad. Those were words he never wanted to hear. Ever.

"I'm sorry.... I shouldn't have said that.... it wasn't right." Hannibal whispered, looking down. Murdoc was thrown off by the apology, he hadn't been expecting one. He looked at Hannibal and started laughing. He kept laughing, letting go of the knife. He put his elbows on the table and put his face into the palms of his hands, pushing to his eyes as he kept laughing.

Hannibal looked at 2D, hoping he'd be able to calm Murdoc.

Stuart was even more confused then the two. What the fuck was happening? Hannibal apologized and Murdoc was laughing. It wasn't a normal laugh he could tell. Was he drunk?

"Muds? What's so funny?" He asked in a serious tone after giving Hannibal the most confused face He could. Quickly he grabbed the knife taking if off the table and setting it far from both man as Murdoc wasn't looking too busy laughing.

Murdoc's hysterical laughter turned into a pained one. He was upset he had to deal with those memories right now in the middle of a fucking bar in Stoke, with his boyfriend and brother. He started shaking again, working to keep the stinging behind his eyes from spilling out.

"I'll be right back...." he said shakily, getting up to go have a quick smoke to calm his nerves. Hannibal apologized, he wasn't worried about his going after Stuart now. They played their games, Murdoc lost.

He walked out of the bar with his head down, pulling a cigarette out of his jacket as he did. When he got outside, he walked to the side of the building and puked by a garbage. He was shaking uncontrollably and sweating.

"Fuck...." he said after he emptied all the contents in his stomach. He spit and then leaned against the wall a little ways away and lit the cigarette with a shaky hand. He puffed on it and when he breathed out he let out a small choked sound, working to control himself.

When Murdoc left, Hannibal looked down and then back up at Stuart. "He'll be back...." he said. "Give him a moment...."

Stuart looked at him he was even more terrified now that he was left alone with Hannibal. But he would try to be civil and not show fear. For some reason he didn't believe his apology.

"I know he will...... I know Muds enough to know when I should leave him alone, after so many years." He told him seriously "Why did you say all that?" He asked with a sad face "He didn't tell me about this lady at all... But I figured out what happened already...." his voice was much softer then any of them. And sounded full of concern. He just hoped Murdoc was right and that Hannibal didn't mock him. That they could have a civil talking.

"Why hurt him?" He was really confused Hannibal was doing all that purposefully.

Hannibal frowned and looked down at the table where Murdoc had stabbed it. He ran his finger over the knick in the table. "I'm honestly not sure why I did that.... when I first saw you two, I was happy to see my baby brother again. We'd been through a lot as kids. Then I saw you two.... up there and happy. I didn't like it. How the hell did he end up happy and I didn't?" Hannibal murmured.

He sighed, "He said I'd end up like our father." He laughed bitterly. "That's a curse worse than death.... I shouldn't have.... talked about that incident." He bit his lip, similar to how Murdoc does.

Murdoc had finished his cigarette and was feeling only slightly better. He felt more in control of his emotions, enough to be in front of people again, but he waited just a few more minutes.

Stuart noticed he was really similar to his younger brother. He took a deep breath. "I know you've been through a lot of.... shit and heavy stuff in life." He said seriously "You and Mu’doc. When.... we started dating I knew he thought he didn't deserve to be happy. He thought he would become his father as well. He told me he would ruin me too. ‘cuz its.... the Niccals way." He looked at him and saw Murdoc for a moment. He felt his guts twisting. He knew he wouldn't have another opportunity. "And well.... we're here and you saw it."

"I know what Mu’doc said. He was hurt scared and angry. He can't put curses in people just ‘cuz he said something bad" he remembered what the witch said. "Look, he found happiness and it doesn’t mean that you can't find your too." He said with a smile "he took almost 40 years to that.... never too late Hannibal. It's not the end."

He didn't know if he was gonna hear him but he tried. After all he was really similar to Murdoc. Maybe he would listen to him.

Hannibal looked up at Stuart and chuckled suddenly, "I can see why he's with you. I don't know if you're naive or.... very forgiving, or stupid. Suppose it could be all of them." He went back to looked at the mark in the table.

"He's not wrong. The Niccals name is.... cursed." He chuckled bitterly again, "I didn't even get the brunt of our father's hate. That was Doc. He was smaller and weaker. Easy to pick on......"

He took a deep breath, "He did pretty good though. He always was stubborn and determined to get what he wanted. I am happy for him, honestly. I just.... can't seem to accept it." He looked at Stuart as he said that. "Some older brother I am...."

Just then Murdoc walked back into the bar, hands in his pockets. He kept his head down as he walked back to the booth. He sat down and it was silent. Hannibal sort of gestured for 2D to do something.

Stuart listened to him carefully. Everyone told him he was stupid.... Maybe he was but his heart was good.

Stuart saw his boyfriend coming and sitting. "Muds.... er.... I think your brother has something he wants to tell you...." He said softly looking at him. Murdoc was so shaken he didn't dare touching him. He smelled of puke and smoke... Stuart knew that.

He looked softly to Hannibal encouraging him to talk to Murdoc. That was a weird bonding moment he was taking part in. He seemed like a therapist or sorta.

Hannibal clenched his teeth, then talked. "I'm sorry little brother. That was cruel of me. I just wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry. Maybe I am like dad...." he chuckled sadly.

Murdoc looked up at Hannibal slowly, "No. You're not. It's.... okay." He sighed. "If I learned anything from Stuart, it's okay to forgive for some stuff. I said some hateful shit too. Let's agree never to speak of this again.... deal?"

He looked back down at the table, looking for water as Hannibal agreed to the deal. He found some and drank a bunch. He set the glass down and looked down again. It was awkwardly quiet.

Hannibal got up and looked from Murdoc to Stuart. He reached into his jacket and grabbed a pen. He wrote his number on an old receipt and slid it to Murdoc, who continued to look down.

"I'm sorry, little brother. I didn't mean to ruin your night.... or I did, but I didn't. Anyways, here's my number. I don't know how long you're in town, but I would like another chance to be better...... I also think you have a great singer and.... I'm glad you found someone little brother. You're more deserving than anyone else in this world." He looked at Stuart and gave him a nod. "Goodnight." He then walked off and out of the bar.

Murdoc stared at the receipt, he couldn't bring himself to look at Stuart. He was embarrassed to say the least.

Stuart smiled. His apology sounded sincere and was all he could have asked for. He nodded to Hannibal while he spoke encouraging him. He felt much better. That he actually did something good for Murdoc.

He slowly turned to him "Are you okay, Muds....?" He asked softly, still not touching him. His hands were on his lap with fingers interlaced.

Murdoc nodded his head slowly. He swallowed and turned to Stuart, still keeping his gaze cast downwards, almost hiding behind his bangs. "Sorry, love. I'm fine.... can we go?" He asked. He knew he needed to have a chat with Stuart about what happened. He just didn't want to do it in this bloody pub.

Stuart nodded and stood up offering a hand for Murdoc with a sweet smile, even if he wasn't looking at him at all. He knew Murdoc wasn't okay at all but he would wait to talk to him later. He felt emotionally totally drained. He would be patient for Murdoc. He needed to be with him in the good but mostly on the bad moments.

Murdoc took his hand, grabbed his wallet, and left more than enough money for dinner. He didn't think he could handle the waitress right now. He grabbed Hannibal’s number and put it in his wallet. He walked outside the bar with him and towards the Winnie. He was quiet, trying to go over what had happened tonight. He mainly tried to focus on singing with Stuart. He wondered how the hell he went from the happiest moment in his life to reliving the worst.


	35. Talk

He held Stuart's hand tightly, afraid to let go as he walked. When they got to the Winnie, the went in, being greeted by Cortez, who cawed. Murdoc smiled slightly and walked up to him and held out his arm. The bird hopped up and dug it's nails into his arm. It gave him a small distraction from his thoughts. He brought the bird up to nuzzle into it's fluffed up chest. It chirped and preened his bangs and he chuckled. He was feeling better away from the crowds and that bar and here with the two individuals he loved the most besides Russel and Noodle.

He turned to Stuart and finally looked at his face. "I'm sorry...."

Stuart smiled to him "that's okay Muds.... you don't have to be sorry for anything." His heart ached seeing how he looked for comfort with Cortez. He greeted the bird too and it cawed.

He silently sat down on the bed and patted it inviting Murdoc to do the same. "You wanna talk about what happened, love? If you don't That’s okay too" He asked softly leaning against the wall and waiting for his answer. "I'm here." He whispered.

Murdoc looked at the bed and nodded slowly. He put Cortez down and gave him a small scratch under the jaw. The bird nibbled his fingers gently and chirped, then ruffled his feathers.

He walked over and sat in the spot by Stuart, not quite touching him. He was near 40 and he'd never truly talked about this with anyone. He picked at a thread on his sheets.

"I was 9...." he started and then just started to retell his side of the story. "She was the lady in our schools cafeteria.... she had commented on how I was becoming a man now. I had hit puberty early for some reason. Had a small mustache growing and some chest hair." He chuckled remembering how excited he'd been.

"Then one day, I was walking through the hallway, late for class and tipsy, as usual. Ran into her and she said she needed help grabbing something in her pantry in the kitchen. Followed her in and I realized something was up when she locked the door.... I tried to leave...." he stared off as he remembered the rest of it. He started breathing a little faster. He actually didn't remember the rest of the day after that. He wasn't sure if Hannibal saying he came home crying was true. How did he know though?

He had unknowingly pulled on the thread and was unraveling the small part it was attached to. He stopped. He took a deep breath.

"I.... uh.... yeah...." he didn't know what else to say. He felt awful he ruined the night with his story

Stuart nodded to his explanation. He wasn't actually asking about what happened when he was nine. It was more about what they talked that night.

"Muds." He said seriously. "I have an idea of what happened. I'm glad you shared with me though. "He didn't touch him. "What she did was wrong what 'Hannibal and your father did too. You were a child they had no right to do all they did. You don't even remember what happened." He kept with the same tone all the time. "In sorry that this happened and that I had to know this way. But I don't think any bad of you ‘cuz of that, okay? I don't love you any less ‘cuz of that and none of the other stuff that happened to you." He told him honestly "when you walked out I talked to him."

Murdoc nodded and hunched his shoulders. "Sorry.... I just never told anyone before. I wasn't sure if.... you got it or not. I think I just needed to finally say something." He clenched his jaw. "I know. It's not my fault and all that. To have him bring it up like that was.... unexpected." He looked up at Stuart, his eyes a little watery. He sniffed and wiped his eyes.

"Christ.... this place sucks...." he chuckled and sniffed again. "Sorry." He said and looked back at Stuart, "You were saying? You talked to him about what?"

Stuart saw his a bit shaken. He felt like crying too but held himself together keeping the serious face. "Thanks for explaining, Muds." He smiled a bit

"I asked him why he said all that. Why did he wanted to hurt you that much. He told me that he didn't know why.... but that he was happy seeing you. But this happiness didn't last long. He didn't like you were happy and he wasn't. That he hated you saying that he would end up like his father and that he shouldn't have talked about the incident." He looked at him

"I told him he could still find happiness in his life.... he told me I was stupid and forgiving. Then he told me how you were smaller and weaker .... And easy target to your father. About how you were stubborn and determined to get what you wanted...." He chuckled "that he's happy for you but he just can't accept it." He told him all the truth "he's jealous ‘cuz you're happy and a success and you have someone and he's doesn't ."

Murdoc listened to Stuart's conversation with his brother. He knew he was jealous, but it was good to know why. He nodded.

"That makes sense.... I know he was jealous, but it's good to know why. I saw him looking at you, was that part of it, or was he actually interested in you?" He asked. He considered calling him tomorrow, but if he was truly interested in Stuart, then probably not.

He laid on his side, putting his head on Stuart's leg. He felt a small tear or two from his eyes watering slightly, fall from his eyes as he laid down. He sniffed and wiped them away quickly. He snuggled into his legs.

"Yeah, my dad usually picked on my more than my brother. And I am stubborn. You know that." He laughed and put a hand up on Stuart's thigh in front of him. He felt comfortable.

"No Muds. He's not interested in me." he could tell by the way he behaved that no "he was just doing that to tease you. When you left he didn't touch me."

Stuart saw him laying on him and wiping a tear. His chest tightened. "I know you are. But it's not a bad thing though" he placed a hand on his hair and caressed it. The other caressed his hand "will you call him tomorrow?" He asked curiously.

He smiled and closed his eyes when Stuart put his hand in his hair. "Probably. I'll decide how I feel in the morning.... since he doesn't seem interested in you for real." he hoped he'd feel better tomorrow. He actually felt okay now, especially after Stuart touched him. He felt safe with Stuart.

"Fuck, our next trip we are leaving family out of it." He chuckled. He suddenly sat up and straddled Stuart's thighs, wrapping his arms around his neck and resting his forehead against his, looking into his eyes.

"Just us next time." He whispered. The bird cawed and he rolled his eyes. "Fine, the bloody bird can come too." He laughed.

Stuart chuckled lightly "better just you me and him... at least your family isn’t bigger.... its just Hannibal who were gonna deal with"

He looked back at him. "Is there anything else you wanna tell me Muds....?" He whispered and closed his eyes too.

Murdoc thought about it, "Well.... I'm sorry if I scared you with the knife. And I wanna tell you that tonight I realized I love you more than anything in this world. I loved singing with you." He smiled and kissed his forehead, then moved down his nose and eventually to his mouth.

He gave him the sweetest most passionate kiss he could manage. He wanted to make love with Stuart not have just sex. He wanted to feel some control in the situation, but he didn't know how to tell Stuart, without sounding embarrassing at least.

Stuart kissed him back with the same love and care. "No you didn’t scare me at all...." he said fondly breaking the kiss.

" I won't forget how amazing it was to sing with you.... ever" He whispered with a big smile. "I love you too Muds.... more than you'll ever know...." he said in a whisper.

"Is there anything else you were thinking about doing with me tonight Muds?"

He had already forgotten the whole punishment stuff and wasn't in the mood for that. The night was already hard for both of them.

Murdoc smiled and looked into his eyes. "Can we have sex? I'll be sweet and slow.... um, you know what I mean?" He bit his lip. He had no idea how to ask. He'd never asked anyone for that before, usually it was just sexy. Fun, dirty sex. He really wanted to connect with Stuart right now though. He wasn't sure why.

He whispered, "Um....  you're the love of my life Stuart. I owe so much to you. I don't even know where to begin." He never talked like this either, but he felt like he needed to.

"Muds I...." He wasn't really in the mood for sex.... but he would try.... "You can do the way you want with me, Muds...." He whispered to him. He was feeling just overwhelmed and hurt with their day. Many emotions to deal. But he wouldn't bother. It wasn't a nice hour to ruin the moment.

He blushed hard hearing his words.... his heart raced. Those were sweet words.... the sweetest he heard. He didn’t even know how to answer. "Muds...." He looked all his face carefully and licked his lips.

Murdoc saw his hesitation and just smiled. "I-it's okay. If you don't want to." He swallowed and closed his eyes, putting his head on Stuart's shoulder. "Sorry, Stu." He felt embarrassed for asking.

He put his arms around him and just stayed like that for a while, trying to calm down. His chest hurt. He would just connect with Stuart like this, that was fine with him. He cursed himself in his thoughts for asking.

Stuart felt bad he was embarrassed or anything with him. He lifted his face with his both hands and kissed him deeply.... pushing all the bad thoughts to the back of his mind.

He looked to his face after some moments after breaking the kiss daring to ask "Do you wanna.... make love to me......?" He asked really serious. "You really want that....?" His voice was needy to. If it wasn’t just sex.... maybe he needed much more than he thought he did. "‘cuz I want you to make me feel loved.... loved and cared.... only you Mu’doc.... ‘cuz I'm only yours right...?" He rubbed his nose against his. "No matter what happens.... yeah....?"

He whispered a bit scared remembering what the witch told them. The was another thing he didn't want to think about.... maybe with them making love.... He would forget.

Murdoc looked at Stuart, his cheeks flushed red. He nodded and whispered, "Only mine.... you'll always and forever be mine. No matter what." He looked down, a little embarrassed. He wasn't used to talking like this at all, but it's all he wanted to say to Stuart.

"Give me the chance? The chance to make you feel loved.... and cared for.... because I love you. A-and I really need you right now. Only you." His eyes watered slightly as he looked back up at Stuart and he bit his lip so hard, one of his sharp little teeth were poking into his lip hard.

"B-but, like I said, if you don't want to.... I don't want you to just to please me.... we talked about that too." He whispered.

Stuart just realized that he maybe they both needed that. The way Murdoc was speaking made his heart race in a good way. They survived that day.... even being one of the hardest of their lives.

Stuart's eyes watered too. His hand went to his face caressing it and looking into his eyes. Weren't just words.... Murdoc was really feeling all that.

"Muds.... today I have the best and the worst moments of my life.... and all at your side.... now I realized how much i want to face every situation with you.... we can do anything if were together..." He chuckled "You have all the chances ‘cuz I want to spend the rest of my life at your side...." He shivered saying that, he was feeling too much

"Please be mine.... till the end of time. Please .... I need you.... I love you so much...." his voice was a bit broken and barely above a whisper. "My Mu’doc...." He held his face again with both hands.

"I'm not doing just to please you I'm sorry I made you think this.... I've been through a lot today my love.... I wasn't really thinking you still wanted me this much after all this...." now he bit his lip hard holding back tears. He really wanted that. He just needed to put his thoughts in order first. Maybe this was the best memory he could ever give Murdoc in that cursed place.

He needed Murdoc comfortable enough to tell him exactly what he wanted, if it was sex, love, or anything. That he didn’t feel ashamed of saying. Stuart wanted to hear it.

Murdoc nodded. "Let me," he paused for a moment, "make love to you." His face reddened dramatically as Stuart's hands. He never said those words in all his years. He never thought he'd ever say those words. He had never wanted to say those words. Till now.

He shook just slightly, worried that Stuart might hesitate again. He didn't think he could spill his heart like this and get denied. This was one of the most difficult moments for him, possibly ever. He prayed to Satan it went well.

"I will always want you.... I'm sorry today was so difficult. I wanted to show you my life before the band, and it was every bit as worse as when I lived it all those years ago. I'm so sorry." He whispered. He knew he never should have come here, but he had thought it was only fair, since Stuart had shared his home.

Stuart nodded to his words. "I know, Muds... you don't have to be sorry.... I tried my best to understand.... I thought I was ready for but......" he looked down "I knew it was painful. I'm really, really glad you trusted me enough to share your past with me...." He sniffled. "Difficult or not.... I want you." He took a deep breath " And I want to make you forget all that.... make good memories for us to remember when we're older right....?" He chuckled and bit his lip "You deserve to be happy and.... I want to make you the happiest man on earth......" He leaned closer his ear "please, make love to me.... I’m all yours. Forever." He promised.

Stuart told him that he wanted to see the ugliest and the worst sides he had. Well there you go. And tomorrow they would meet Hannibal again.... so it wasn't over.

Murdoc gave him a small smile. "Thank you." He whispered, bringing his hands up to Stuart's face and kissing him passionately. He pulled away slightly and whispered, "Thank you." Then he kissed his nose and whispered, "I love you." Then he moved up and kissed his forehead. He held his lips there a moment, then wrapped his arms around Stuart and pulled him close.

"Thank you, Bluebird. You mean the world to me." He said again. "Without you I wouldn't have my band. I wouldn't have this life. I would still be miserable and alone. You, Stuart Pot, make me happy." He hugged him tighter and chuckled a bit. Those were more words he never thought he'd say, but he was happy he was.

Stuart chuckled lightly when he held him close. "Don't mention it love...." he whispered back. For him it wasn’t any sacrifice or anything doing all he did for Murdoc.... . "You make me happy too.... . as long as I'm breathing I won’t let you miserable or alone right....? Thank you for existing...." he swayed with him hugging Murdoc the best he could with his bony arms.

The idiot wouldn’t ever forget this day.... when Murdoc told him what he wasn’t really expecting or didn’t ever dreamed of him saying. He closed his eyes shut while tiny tears escaped them.... he knew Murdoc needed support and love now, but he couldn’t held anymore. He shivered while hugging him and hid his face on his chest. The only thing that crossed his mind was "I made it. I'm not useless. I'm not that stupid. I did it"

Murdoc chuckled and pet the singer’s blue hair soothingly, "You are far from useless. You may be a bit airheaded and clumsy but you're not stupid. You're my singer, I wouldn't trade you for the world......"

He was quiet for a moment, "I think you are what I got for selling my soul. I wanted fame and the best band in the world and you were thrown at me.... then the rest fell into place." He whispered. He sold his soul years before he'd met Stuart. He thought before it hadn't worked.

He lifted Stuart's face and wiped his tears, he then kissed him again. This was full of passion and love. He felt the singer’s lips against his, felt his breath coming from his nose. He tasted the tears that had fallen on his lips.

Thinking the way Murdoc said, it made sense...... even selling his soul was an important part of bringing Stuart into his life. He sighed relieve trying to stop crying. He had  so much more to say.... but he decided to feel instead. It was something they needed more to feel than to speak.

Stuart returned the kiss feeling his skin.... his touch.... his love.... slowly, like it should be.... tasting him and letting out occasional sobs. He slowly broke the kiss and looked into his eyes "Muds.... are you.... scared.... of what that lady told us....?" he asked hesitant "I know you were angry then but.... I'm scared.... of losing you...." he shook again. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking that much about that.... but he couldn’t help. He just want to know is he was the only one scared. "I'm sorry bringing this up now...." he looked for his hand and hold them tighter. Thinking if Murdoc was hiding something from him.... or ever would to protect him.

Murdoc gulped when Stuart talked about the witch, then sighed and looked Stuart straight in the face. "No. I'm not. I know I'll be with you forever. I promise." He chuckled, "They'll have to pry me off of you with a crowbar Bluebird. Once I sink my claws in, I don't let go." He smiled and kissed Stuart's chin then nipped at his bottom lip. "I may even drag you to hell with me when we die." He teased.

He felt confident in his reply. He knew in his heart he couldn't go long without Stuart now. The boy was perfect for him, both with his dream band and with his love life. They fit perfectly like two puzzle pieces. There's no way he could abandon that. He would do anything to make sure of that.

He looked Stuart straight in the eyes, trying to ooze confidence in the hopes of calming Stuart's nerves. He moved some of his wild hair out of his face and then pet his hair. "She was a gypsy. A fraud. I don't believe a thing she said. Fuck her and everyone else who thinks we won't make it.... because we will." He stated. He hoped Stuart believed his words.

Stuart was naive and always admired Murdoc in anything he said or did. So it was really easy for him to believe his words. He just nodded and smiled wiping his last tears.... "I trust you Muds...." in the end, he knew it was just the two of them against the whole world. He wouldn’t leave Murdoc's side. Even if the worst happened, and at this point he was really thinking that it could happen, but well Murdoc's confidence washed those thoughts far away. his smile made his heart relax a bit and enjoy the moment.

He rested his arms around his shoulders and looked at him for a moment. Just seeing in his eyes everything they achieved till that day. Something into his eyes told him to go ahead.... to don’t give up. and he decided to listen. He did the same as Murdoc playing with his hair a bit and smiled at him. "We'll make it." he said softly and his hands went down a bit playing now with his cross absentmindedly.  he felt much better now that they talked a bit.

Murdoc felt the boy calm down slightly and grabbed his hands playing with his cross. He brought them up to his lips and kissed both gently. Then he started gently kissing up his arm. When he reached his shoulder, he went to the other hand and did the same, kissing upwards towards his shoulder.

When he stopped, he grabbed the bottom of Stuart's shirt and slowly brought it up and over Stuart's head. He threw it behind him and kissed his chin and moved down his jaw. When he got to his neck, he left a gentle trail of kisses down his neck to his collarbone. One hand rested on Stuart's hip, the other locked itself with Stuart's hand.

When he reached his collarbone, he gently nibbled and bit it, but left no lasting marks. He kissed all across his collarbone, then sat up again and looked at Stuart. He brought his hand from Stuart's hips and placed his thumb softly over Stuart's lips, rubbing it slightly.

" _I love these lips. I love your hair. I love your eyes. I love your neck. I love your skin. And I love those collarbones...... I love everything about you......"_ he whispered.

Stuart shivered with his touches.... they were so calm, so gentle...... he bit his lip hard and closed his eyes. He smiled wide biting that lip. It would be difficult for Stuart not cry again. The man he most loved in the world was telling him all that, something that no one ever told him.

He let out sweet sounds as he did it, but didn’t moan loud, he didn’t want to ruin the tender moment. He looked into his eyes trying to keep his breath in a normal pace. His heart seemed wanting to get out his ribcage and his hands were slightly shaking. But he wasn’t nervous......

He smiled to him and his hands went gently to the bottom of his shirt taking it off too. He wanted to be as sweet as Murdoc was with him. He placed the Satanist laying on the bed and straddled on him. He was a bit clumsy but he wanted to try. He looked at him for some seconds just admiring. He went to his mouth kissing it barely brushing his lips against his. "I love.... when.... you tell me such sweet things... I can’t even answer Muds...." he chuckled

He went from his mouth to his jawline going to his ear. "I love.... when I'm able to.... see how your body reacts to mine...." his hands went to his shoulders rubbing them and his fingers ghostly passing through his skin up to his neck. "I love the way you sound so confident about everything Muds...... you're my hero, always have."

he placed his hands on his chest "I love that you're strong, love.... the strongest man I've ever met...." he whispered. "I love the fact your hearts beats like this just for me." he closed his eyes just feeling it for a moment. he placed his hands on his face again leaning close to talk to him "I love even your wrinkles, yours scars, yours past marks.... every tiny piece you have that makes you who you are, Mu’doc, I love your soul. even if you say you don’t have one...." he chuckled. He was an artist. What could he say? "My beautiful Blackbird." he whispered kissing his nose.

Murdoc smiled wide when the singer had him on his back and straddling him. The singer was so tall and thin, Murdoc loved to look up at him. He put his hands on the singer’s thighs on either side of him, rubbing them gently.

He then put one of his hands over Stuart's on his chest. He heart was beating wildly and he knew Stuart could feel it. "It beats only for you, Bluebird. Please don't ever break it...." he whispered, looking up at him.

He listened to him as he talked about him sweetly. It made his heart only beat faster. When he kissed his nose, he smiled fondly at the singer. He put his hand behind the singer's head and pulled him down to kiss him once more. He ran his hands through his hair once more, his other hand gripping his thigh. He ran it up Stuart's thigh and over his hips and gently trailed his fingers up his bare side. He ran his hand over his back, feeling his spine and his shoulder blades and muscles move. He pulled away from the kiss slightly, breathing slightly harder.

"You are my everything. You are what makes me who I am. You are the only good thing about me...." he whispered, and truly believed. Without Stuart, he felt he was nothing.

Stuart smiled and chuckled a bit to his statement. He never knew he could possibly mean so much to someone in life. "I won't...." He whispered about breaking his heart. Murdoc actually had one and was afraid that Stuart would break it.... That was really sweet.

His last words hit deep Stuart. 'The only good thing about him'. It sounded like a huge responsibility. That he was giving him his heart and soul and Stuart could do whatever he wanted with it. He leaned closer and kissed his lips again like sealing everything they told each other. Only the walls of the Winnie witnessed it.... and maybe Cortez but he wouldn't tell anyone.

"Muds...." He pressed his hips against the Satanist’s.... it felt like he was ruining a sweet moment but oh well he was hard too. All those words made him want the Satanist even more. He bit his lip and flushed. "I.... I want you...." He whispered a bit needy but sincere. "Please...."


	36. First Time

Murdoc smiled as he said please and pressed his hip into him. He was hard, but he wanted to go slow for the singer. Take his time and show him how much he loved him. He only uttered things he believed and he truly hoped the singer realized that. He'd gladly give the singer what he wanted.

He rolled them both over so Stuart was under him. He pressed his hips into Stuart's, letting out a shaky breath as he kissed the singer. "Fuck I love you...." he whispered as he kissed the singer, rolling his hips into him again a few more times. He pulled away and slowly kissed down his jaw again, then his neck and down his chest. He got to his belly button and stuck his tongue into it playfully as he looked up to watch his reaction. He liked doing that to the singer.

He reached up and ran his hands from his hips up to his nipples, playing with them gently. He knew Stuart loved playing with his own nipples. Murdoc thought they were cute and small. He could play with them all day.

Stuart accepted happily he changed positions with him. He wanted that a bit.... feel that he belonged to Murdoc and him only. He mouthed back he loved him and finally allowed Murdoc to do what he wanted. He closed his eyes savoring each kiss. He would have regretted if he didn’t go ahead that night.

When he reached his belly button Stuart chuckled, he was a bit ticklish there. He caressed his hair when he did that, showing he was allowed and he liked. He was flushing and adorable. Each time his cock became harder but he didn’t mind.... he wanted that slow torturous pace with him. When Murdoc came to his nipples, he couldn’t help but moan a bit. They were already rigid.

He placed a hand on the Satanist’s playing with his nipples and caressed it moaning his name like a mantra. He sounded like an angel. Instinctively his back arched desperate for more touch. He grabbed one of the Satanist's hands and kissed its fingers "Have I told you already how I love your hands....?" he teased whispering. He had already told it.

Murdoc smiled, "Countless times, but I never get tired of hearing it." He continued kissing down to Stuart's groin, but stopped as he reached his jeans. He sat up a bit to unbuckle them and pulled them off the singer, tossing them away. He then slowly pulled off his underwear to reveal his erection, enjoying how hard he was for Murdoc.

He looked at Stuart and then leaned over him a bit, putting his hands on his hips. He then had the singer flip onto his stomach, getting a glorious view of his back and the ass he admired so much. Before doing anything else, he quickly took off his own pants and underwear, letting his erection spring up in relief.

He leaned up and over the singer, his erection pressing slightly into the small of his back. He then leaned down and put his mouth besides the singer’s ear.

"Relax for me love, I'm going to take good care of you." He whispered and nibbled his ear. Then started kissing the singer’s shoulders and slowly made his way down the singer’s spine, following the little ridges sticking up. His hands caressed the singer’s sides gently. His back was smooth and untouched. It was truly beautiful.

Stuart smiled than yelped lowly in surprise when he was turned around. His boner touched the mattress and he shivered holding back another moan. He was really sensitive. His hands went to the sheets gripping them while he heard Murdoc getting undressed as well. He froze in expectation with a smile on his lips but hiding his red face. He was ashamed of being that needy with so little. Murdoc had this effect in him.

When Murdoc whispered he said back "Yes, Muds....". He would do anything for him now. Again he let out another sweet moan when he nibbled it. Murdoc was really a tease. When the Satanist went down and he wondered if his back was still marked from his punishment.... the marks should be fading by now. He did what Murdoc told him to relaxing a bit. Instinctively he lifted his hips a bit giving Murdoc a better vision of his back and how submissive he was.

Murdoc smiled, he could tell the singer was needy, but he had a few other things planned first. He prayed Stuart would like it, cause he didn't do this often.

He went back down to kiss the small of Stuart's back, moving down to kiss the cheeks he loves so much. He gently nibbled and bit at the old marks from the past weeks. The whip marks were healing nicely. While he did this, his hands gently kneaded and massaged the areas he wasn't nibbling on.

Finally, he spread Stuart open slightly and started licking him with his long tongue. He played with Stuart's entrance, his tongue eventually snaking in and out of him, opening him open a little more. His hands held onto his hips as he did this, a smile riding his lips as the singer squirmed.

Stuart wasn’t expecting that... He could tell that Murdoc was the first lad to eat him out. and it felt wonderful. He squirmed and called his name a couple of times. He even dared to sway his hips a little to have more of the Satanist and gripped the sheets tighter moaning with the friction he made with his cock against the bed. It was delightful.

He couldn’t believe Murdoc was that skillful with his tongue even not licking his cock. It was a whole new sensation for Stuart and he was enjoying each minute of that. Now he could wait a bit more for Murdoc to fuck him if he wanted.... "Fuck, I love you Mu’doc...." he mumbled against the mattress.

After some moments, obscenely he moved his shaking hands to his cheeks and opened himself a bit more for him, helping Murdoc's work. He wasn’t ashamed now, he just wanted Murdoc. His breath was unstable and his cock throbbed.

Murdoc was delighted when Stuart helped open him up more. He hadn't expect the singer to like it that much. He continued to lick the singer, sticking his tongue in and out, getting his entrance as wet and loose as possible. His little moans and squirms turned the bassist on more than he could imagine. He was hard, starting to become painfully so.

After a few more minutes of eating Stuart out, he pulled back and quickly flipped the singer back around on the bed so he could see his flushed face and hard cock. Nothing please him more than seeing Stuart like this because of him.

He blew the singer a playful kiss and winked, lifting Stuart's ass upwards towards him so he could continue to lick him a bit longer, keeping his eyes on Stuart to be able to see how the singer's face reacted.

Stuart was so focused in what Murdoc was doing that he yelped when turned around again. He instinctively put his both hands on his face ashamed of how needy he was and how he should be looking right now. His cock oozing precum like a faucet and twitching, his face dark red till his shoulders and some spasms hitting his body still, craving for Murdoc.

When Murdoc blew that kiss he giggled softly still hiding his face. He felt like a teenager in love with a new sensation. "More.... please..." he said closing his eyes shut and shivering once Murdoc started licking him once again. "Mu’doc...." he moaned louder and bit his fingers trying to hold back more moans.... he desperately wanted Murdoc and all that teasing was killing him.

As he learned before he didn’t touched himself.... he wanted Murdoc to do it or cum without being touched at all. Instead his hand came to his own nipple squeezing it. It wasn’t as good as Murdoc doing but it helped him release his tension a bit.

Murdoc moved from the singer’s ass and licked his way up to his balls, then to his cock.

As he did this, he slowly lowered 2D's ass back to the bed so he could get to his cock better he licked up the shaft slowly, then wrapped his long tongue around it. He lapped up all the precum leaking down it. He could tell Stuart was becoming desperate for release.

He kept his eyes up on Stuart's as he slowly put his mouth over the tip of the head, sucking on it gently. He used his tongue to run over the top and gather any of the precum coming out. Then he slowly went down, Stuart's cock sliding slowly over his tongue to the back of his throat. Before it got too far he came back up and repeated the process over and over.

When the singer seemed close to release, Murdoc popped the singer’s cock out of his mouth and smiled, reaching up to caress his hands. "Don't hold back, I wanna make you come more than once tonight. Give it to me, yeah?"

He then went back down and started bobbing his head over Stuart's cock, watching him fiercely. Then he slowly went down, putting Stuart's cock all the way to the back of his throat, his nose pressed into Stuart's blue hair. He choked twice, but he was able to hold him there as he used his throat to massage the singer by trying to swallow over and over again. His lungs started to burn for air and tears formed in his eyes, but he held it there, watching Stuart.

Stuart moaned louder now unhiding his face when Murdoc licked him. He could tell he was really taking care of him well, but this way he wouldn’t last long. He called for him interlaced with "more please.... ", "fuck Muds....", "your mouth is so good on me...." and some cursing.

Stuart's eyes widened seeing that he wanted more than once. Again he didn’t know what it was to come more than once... Usually was just once and done.... not that with Murdoc it was something bad.... he wasn’t just expecting. Another first time for the list. But well he did what he was told and didn’t hold back.

Once the Satanist deep throated him that was it.... he couldn’t hold back anymore. He looked into his eyes and release totally in the back of his throat. His back arched and he gripped the sheets once more.... moaning his name at the top of his lungs. Even more tears formed in his eyes.

His body hit hard the mattress again and his eyes closed shut. His chest went up and down quickly and his heart was beating like crazy. He found Murdoc's hand blindly and held it, interlacing the fingers. "I love you.... I love you...." he mumbled lowly a couple of times.

He could feel the singer cum into the back of his throat, which was exactly what he wanted. When he was finished, he lifted his head up, slightly drooling and gasping for air. He held on to Stuart's hands as the singer mumbled the many sweet 'I love you's he could listen to that and Stuart moaning his name all night. He would never grow tired of it.

He sat up and grabbed the lube in the little night stand by the bed. He only put a little lube on his unbearably hard cock and then looked at Stuart with a smile.

"You ready for round two, Bluebird?" He was breathing hard and probably looked mad with lust, but he didn't care. He wanted to be inside Stuart more than anything else in this world, but he wanted to make sure he was ready and not overwhelmed.

Stuart took some time to put his thoughts in order.... he opened his eyes and focused to be ready for him.... his body was totally sensitive and the waves of pleasure still hit him. But he wanted to try another thing he heard once about.... overstimulation. He knew by Murdoc's face what exactly he wanted. He shifted in bed to a more comfortable position and spread his legs the best he could. Now he looked like a whore.

He had a tired yet lustful smile on his lips. "Show me your worse...." he said panting with a confident tone.  “Ravish me......." he said blushing and welcoming the Satanist. "Make me yours Mu’doc." he stated finally using his long arms to cup his face and bring him closer to another deep kiss.

He didn’t mind if tasted like his own cum. he needed to see and hear Murdoc cumming. into him.  He shoved his own tongue into his mouth and wrapped his long legs around him.... "Please...." he whispered against his lips breaking the kiss.

Murdoc could feel his cock twitch when Stuart opened his legs for him and told him those sweet words. He let out a small accidental whimper, holding back just a little so he wouldn't ram into the poor boy.

He was surprised when Stuart kissed him and let out a breathless moan as he wrapped his legs around him, begging him. Murdoc chuckled, "You're a dirty, naughty Bluebird. Do you know where my tongue has been?" He teased.

He stayed leaned over Stuart, using his hand to help him align himself up to Stuart's now loosened entrance. He didn't lube that whole, only his own cock, nor did he stretch him out completely, so he would be tight. He needed to go slow.

He pressed himself in slowly, trying to make sure Stuart got used to it before moving farther in. He felt amazing around Murdoc, clenching and squeezing him over and over again. He let out a shaky soft moan as he moved further into the singer.

When he was finally all the way in, he stopped and wiped the hair from Stuart's face. "How are you doing so far love?" He asked and kissed his forehead.

Stuart shrugged.... he wasn’t thinking now in his afterglow "And don’t you like?" he teased back nuzzling his face on his chest.

Stuart was aware that he hadn’t been stretched properly this time. He knew it would hurt.... but he decided to ignore it. He hid his face on his chest while Murdoc pressed himself into him. He whimpered lowly from pain and his arms shook.  He began gasping and breathing hard.

Once he made it, his head fell back on the bed. His eyes had tears, more than before. They fell from his eyes dripping on the sheets. He slowly let his body relax and he placed a hand on his face. "I...... I love.... you...." he said with a hoarse voice.

His body shivered in anticipation and he could feel his muscles tensing with the next orgasm that would come. He smiled and kissed his nose. "I really do......" Murdoc was already touching his prostate...... he knew he would be totally overwhelmed with pleasure and .... he wanted that. He wanted so bad to be Murdoc's.

Murdoc pet his hair and wiped his tears away, gently shushing him, "I'm all in love. The worst part is over." He could tell Stuart wasn't in too much pain not to continue, because Murdoc could feel his erection against his stomach as he leaned over him.

He kissed Stuart as he slowly pulled out, then pulled away from the kiss. He whispered, "I love you too Bluebird," as he pushed himself back into Stuart again, grunting slightly. He then pulled out and slammed himself into Stuart a little faster now, repeating the motion over and over. He looked into Stuart's eyes as he did so, looking over his face to see his reactions.

Murdoc was panting harder and harder as he continued. The singer's insides felt amazing. He was tightening around Murdoc over and over and he knew he wouldn't last long.

Stuart screamed when Murdoc pushed inside him. He cried even harder and held him close for his dear life. "Mu’doc" he said aloud. Sweat slicked both bodies and he could feel his cock coming back to life. it was so sensitive it hurt. But it hurt so good.

His legs wrapped around him tighter and he focused on the feeling of Murdoc inside him ‘cuz his orgasm coming was just too much. He clenched his walls around him even tighter. His short nails scratched his back and he couldn’t help. "Please .... Please.... please...." his voice was girly and needy.

He bit his lip hard and looked into his eyes.... he felt totally overwhelmed now. "Fuck Muds.... I'm gonna.... Oh God......" he said moaning louder, crying in pleasure literally.... he just hoped Murdoc could cum first

When Stuart scratched his back and begged, he couldn't hold it anymore. With a final thrust, he released himself inside the singer. The orgasm rolled over him in powerful waves, so powerful, he released a choked moan.

He collapsed on the singer, kissing him passionately, breathing hard. "Fuck, I absolutely love you, Stuart." He whispered. "More than anything in this world."

He put his head on Stuart's chest, listening to his heart beating fast. He nuzzled into his chest and held onto one of his hands. "How was cuming twice, love?" He chuckled.

Stuart wasn't even listening him. He came so hard he felt like his should would leave his body. When Murdoc came he was in the middle of his orgasm. He didn't think about anything...  it was only him and Murdoc in the world. He never experienced something that powerful.

He wished he could have answered him but he felt too weak for that. His limbs fell on his side's and he had to take a deep breath to catch his senses back.

"A....mazing.... my.... first time... Muds...." He said between pants. His hand went weakly to his head petting his hair. "So many...... first times.... This night...... I couldn't even count......" he chuckled weakly and closed his eyes. He still had some tears falling. "You'll have to help me now....

Murdoc chuckled and looked up at Stuart, enjoying how dazed the singer was from the powerful orgasms he just experienced. He pet his hair out of his face then wiped his tears away again.

He slowly pulled out of Stuart, noticing the large amount of cum on both their stomachs. He looked at Stuart. "You really came, a lot." He chuckled. He got off the bed and next to Stuart, putting his arms under Stuart's legs and shoulders to pick him up.

He held him close and carried him over to his shower. He gently sat him down on the floor of the shower and turned it on, setting it nice and warm. Then he got in behind Stuart and placed him between his legs and had him lean back against Murdoc's chest. He pet his hair and held him close. "Thank you Stuart...." he whispered. "I really needed that."

Stuart noticed how much he came "Oh that's why I should be feeling dizzy.... dehydration...." He said dramatically. He smiled when he was picked up. "Anytime love..." He said winking.

When he was laid on the floor he wasn't expecting that. He happily leaned into his touch and chuckled "I had an orgasm 2 fucking amazing orgasms actually Muds.... I'm not paraplegic...." He joked but soon he stopped.

 "Muds I think there's something I want to tell you after all that we've been through today...." he said seriously and grabbed the shampoo to wash his hair while he spoke. Murdoc liked when he touched his head so it was a good distraction. "And I better say now before I forget...." He chuckled again rubbing his scalp.

Murdoc laughed, "I know you're not paraplegic, but you are clumsy and now you're tired. I don't need you tripping and falling. Let me take care of you, it's the least I can do.... you're amazing and I want to take care of you." He said, petting his hair more.

"And what would you like to say, Bluebird?" He also ran his hands through Stuart's hair, helping him with the shampoo. He was curious as to what the singer wanted to say.

Even when he was younger he just sat down on the floor of the bathroom when he was too depressed or drunk.... not ‘cuz he couldn't feel his legs due to an orgasm.

"I...."He sighed " I wanted to thank you too Muds.... not ‘cuz of the sex or.... the fact that you were the person who first made me cum 2 times and ate me out.... ‘cuz you were...." He blushed "I wanted to say thank you that.... You didn't dump me the day we first met when you came from Mexico.... And.... I know we were drunk and I was really expecting you kicking me out ... but instead you helped me through my headache and took care of me...." He looked at him. "If you didn't do it we wouldn't be here I guess.... and I know it’s stupid but I’ve been counting months of us together since that day...." he sounded like a girl in love with her first boyfriend.

He swallowed hard. "And the other thing is that.... look.... I'm not the most experienced person in sex or in life and I know that you're much clever than me in almost everything.... but.... " he blushed even more

 "Thank you for choosing me above all people ‘cuz.... I know you had plenty of partners in life, man, woman, more than one at once.... And I really hope that you're happy with me. And that you don't miss your old life." He said all at once with a smile and confident.

"I'm trying to be my best for you Muds.... not just in sex. In everything. So.... I'm sorry if sometimes I fail or I cry or...." He looked down "I'm learning and.... I'm not as strong as you. So thank you for being patient... But I really love you.... I just needed you to know that..."

Murdoc patiently listened to what Stuart said. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, waiting for him to finish. The singer was being incredibly sweet and spilling his little heart out. Murdoc loved every minute of it.

"And I appreciate it, love. I really do. I know...... I'm not the easiest person in the world to be with. I'm stubborn, I'm angry, I have a lifetime of baggage. I should thank you for being patient with me." He kissed his head.

"And you are the best for me. No matter what you do. Yeah, you may not have as much experience with sex as me, but that just means I get to teach you and mold you to what I like." He teased and squeezed his arms around Stuart, chuckling.

"I don't miss my old life. It was.... lonely. I never cared about anything except myself. Now I care about you.... and to be honest, those other two bug the hell out of me but I care about them as well."

"You've put up with a lot from me.... I still feel I need to make it up to you. But we have a whole life time now, yeah? I'm yours and you're mine...." He smiled and swayed side to side slightly.

Stuart even forgot about the other two when he was alone with Murdoc.... that was really good sometimes. He listened to all his explanation. His heart warmed knowing he didn't miss his old life. For a moment, Stuart really thought he was enough. He didn't care about his issues at all.

"Yeah love, a whole lifetime...." He whispered swaying together with him. It sounded like a dream. "I don't want anything different from that, Muds.... we fit perfectly with each other and when no.... we manage to fit...." He smiled to him shifting position so Murdoc could go under the water. "That's what I think real couples do...."He chuckled "they fight for each other... meet the each other's family.... assume to everybody.... have jealous crises.... know the past .  And.... I think we're doing like the plan...." He shrugged. Next step for him was getting married or sorta. "And we survived through here...." He decided to take off the bandage on his knee carefully.

"Who would tell that one day you'd be sitting on the floor of Winnebago's bathroom together with your lover in a city you swore you'd never come back and ....  happy huh? At this point I think anything can happen...." He chuckled looking at his knee.

Murdoc smiled, "You're right.... I never thought I'd even make it this far...... I wasn't sure where I'd be right now." He thought about it. Honestly, there's a possibility that Murdoc could have never seen Stuart. Could have run into a different shop. Could have no woken him from his coma. It's a scary thing to imagine. So many things could have happened to not have them end up together.

"You're right, we are like a real couple. We work together to make it work because we want it to work, right? I'll always fight for you Bluebird. I promise...." he hugged him tight.

"I'm just so fucking happy we don't have any more family to meet. I don't think I could handle anymore." He laughed. I would for you.... but Christ.... my heart might explode in the process." He rest his head against the singer’s shoulder, smiling.

"Right" he agreed with a smile and leaned closer pecking his lips.

"Well Hannibal said he wanted do try again tomorrow if we were in town and gave you his number... " he bit his lip "Is it too much giving him a chance?" He suggested unsure and began playing with his cross "I know it wouldn't be easy and all...." He wouldn't mind if Murdoc didn't want at all. He just felt he could help Hannibal someway. "No problem if you don't want though...." He was the only one of his family left.

Murdoc thought about it. "I.... don't know what I'm going to do.... I may or may not, it really depends on tomorrow. He was a massive arse tonight, but.... he is my brother." He hugged Stuart close. "Let me tell you in the morning, yeah?"

He finished washing himself and Stu and then he helped Stuart up and helped dry him off, then himself. He walked them back to the bed, lying down on his back and having Stuart lay on his chest. He proceeded to pet the singer’s hair while humming different songs, one of which was Stairway to Heaven.

After a while he chuckled, "I thought for sure I was going to shit myself when I got up on that stage.... how do you do it?"

Stuart kept his answer in mind. He was curious about what he was gonna do the next day about Hannibal. But wouldn't force him into anything.

Once on his chest and Murdoc singing he felt in heaven again. He loved his Blackbird. He chuckled "Well Muds.... be on the stage and sing is something I already do.... so it was like doing my job.... But this time with you. . That was really amazing I must say." He leaned closer him "God you needed to be really drunk to do it right....?" He chuckled “It was magical sharing a microphone with you...." He confessed. He couldn't like play bass to join him.

"I dunno of you feel like this too love.... But when I'm on stage.... even everyone shouting and all that noise.... sometimes I think it's just me up there.... me and my voice.... me and my dream.... even if I know there were lots of people there.... it was just you and me that moment.... And I never felt so alive...." He whispered to him hugging tighter. "Besides I would let you alone doing that.... it was my chance to do it with you... "

Murdoc smiled, hugging him back. "It did feel like that. It felt like we were the only two in the world.... and I will have you know, I was not that drunk. I would have preferred to be just a bit drunker." He laughed. But it had turned out well, so he was happy with what happened.

"I'm happy I was able to cheer you up. I can't stand when my Bluebird is upset...." he brushed some hair from Stuart's face. He looked into the singer’s eyes and sighed.

"This is the weirdest feeling.... I feel happy. Like, truly happy, you know? I don't think I have ever experienced that in my life. There were plenty of times I thought I was happy.... but I wasn't truly." He smiled. "How the hell did I, Murdoc Niccals, get so damned lucky, yeah?"

"Maybe a bit drunker you wouldn't be able to remember what happened, love...." He looked at him. He blushed hard hearing "my Bluebird". He was glad Murdoc would do any of his crazy shits to make him happy.... He thought he should do the same for him. He decided he would.

He chuckled "Why weird, Muds...? Feel happy is so.... good. I'm glad to know I could help you being happy.... I just hope I can keep making...." He leaned closer and kissed him "we're both lucky, love.... you're mine." He caressed his cheek. Looking at his red eye for a moment.

Murdoc smiled sweetly and looked back at him. "You're right. It is good. I just wish I could have experienced this with you earlier." He rubbed his bare back, gently running it over the soft skin.

"I love you." He whispered, kissing him deeply for a moment, then laying back and slowly closing his eyes. He continued to rub the singer’s back thinking about the day. It was a horrible and a wonderful day. In the end, it ended with a happy singer, that's what mattered most to him. He slowly fell asleep, thinking about it, a smile on his face.

"I love you too...." He said softly being sure of what he was saying. He felt complete loved cared.... And a bit sore but oh well. Stuart saw that smile on his face and he slept knowing he did a good job with Murdoc. He felt proud of himself and slowly fell asleep in a calm and sweet sleep.


	37. Hannibal

The next morning came fast. Stuart slept soundly next to Murdoc and was the first to wake up. He looked up and saw his sleeping face and smirked. That was an amazing time to try something new with him.

He slowly and quietly moved himself lower and lower on the Satanist, under the sheets. He went to the middle of his legs looking for his cock. It was half-mast so Murdoc should be dreaming with something.

 The singer slowly licked the tip of it and after put his head into his mouth sucking it. He hoped it didn't wake up Murdoc.... He wanted to do it with him sleeping. He kept with his small licks and stroking with his hand softly.

He wanted to thank him for the amazing sex and.... Wake him up with a different kind of good morning. It wasn't fair. Murdoc just came once.

Murdoc was dreaming of Stuart. He was on the island with him again, but this time he sitting in the grass with the singer. He felt the sun on his face and felt warm and happy. The singer’s hair was gorgeous, shining and bright ocean blue. He was singing for Murdoc, which Murdoc just listened to happily, lying back on the grass and enjoying the moment.

Suddenly Stuart stopped singing and when he looked up Stuart was close to him, kneeling over him. His hand moved from his upside down cross necklace down to his groin. He felt like he couldn't move, but he felt excited. The singer started touching him, it felt amazing. Murdoc twitched slightly but remained asleep.

Stuart noticed him twitching and immediately stopped what he was doing waiting him calm down again. Once he stopped, he managed to play with his balls a little.... He could take time as Murdoc was asleep.... He took advantage of that.

He licked him from the bottom to top slowly savoring him. He was totally careful so Murdoc wouldn't wake up. By this time he was getting harder.... He wondered what he was dreaming of and chuckled lowly engulfing his head again.

Stuart and Murdoc were both naked in his dream. He was sitting on Murdoc's cock, and slowly moving himself up and down. Murdoc wanted to touch him, hold his hips or something. But he couldn't seem to move. Stuart didn't seem to mind however so he just let it happen.

He bit his lip and moaned a bit. Other than that he couldn't really say much. At one point he was able to mutter an 'I love you', but Stuart was doing most of the talking. Moaning and talking to Murdoc.

Murdoc remained asleep, but he was able to mutter a soft "love you" when he said it in his dream. He was breathing a little harder and let out the softest moans and grunts.

Stuart even under the sheets was able to hear him mumbling.... it was all he needed to go ahead. He decided to engulf him all at once but slowly. His hand was at the base of it and his lips touched his fingers when he put Murdoc's length in his mouth.

Soon he took off Murdoc from his mouth and slowly stroked him. His other hand rested on his thigh. He held back a chuckle wondering if Murdoc had ever received something like that.

In his dream, Stuart was riding him more, he could feel himself about to cum. He wanted to tell Stuart, but he couldn't get anything out, just a choked groan. He was able to buck his hips slightly, trying to move more.

Suddenly he felt himself cum, and he was half awake, half asleep as he did. He let out a moan and bucked his hips a little more. It was the craziest experience he's ever had. He couldn't tell if he was still dreaming or not as the waves of his orgasm stretched over him again and again till is finally slowed down. He was breathing hard and sweaty.

Stuart after a while stopped trying not to wake him up and started a steady and nice blowjob.... Maybe Murdoc could wake up ‘cuz he came.

Eventually he managed to make him go over the edge and he felt Murdoc cumming into his throat. From under the sheets he couldn't tell if Murdoc was awake or not but he came in real life.

Stuart wiped his mouth and silently laid down next to him where he was.... pretending he was asleep. He had a smile from ear to ear playing with his cross feeling proud of his little treat. He licked his lips that still tasted like cum.

After the orgasm subsided, he slowly woke up. He was breathing hard and looking around. "Holy shit...." he whispered. He swallowed and slowly sat up, trying not to bother Stuart, who he thought was still sleep.

He pulled the covers back and noticed the blankets weren't wet or sticky from his cum. He questioned whether he came or not. It felt so real to him. He bit his lip and laid back down. He turned on his side to Stuart and pulled him into his chest, wondering what the fuck just happened.

Stuart bit his lip. Murdoc was clueless.... it was funny. Should he tell him or not? Stuart just let out a soft noise that sounded like a moan but he made it just to prevent him from chuckling. He waited a bit more to see what Murdoc would do.

Murdoc rubbed Stuart's back but thought he was still asleep. "What the hell...." he whispered. He could have sworn he came but it felt so bloody good, could have been the dream. He supposed it didn't matter. He bit his lip and tried not to dwell on it. He kissed Stuart's forehead to wake him up.

"Hey love, you should wake up. I had the weirdest dream.... well it was nice actually, but odd." He chuckled, rubbing his back.

Stuart the great pretender faked that he was waking up with a yawn and a sweet face. "Oh morning love.... what dream? Was it good?" He asked holding himself not to laugh. "Was it with me?~" He teased. It was so good seeing him that confused ‘cuz of the singer

Murdoc chuckled, "Of course it was with you. We were having sex. Then when I came, which I thought for sure I actually did...... apparently not though...." he said perplexed. "It was the strangest thing ever." He whispered. He continued to rub the singer’s back gently.

"Strangest huh?" Stuart said with a shit eating grim on his face "Well I think this is a compliment someway.... you’re not wrong." He whispered. "You actually came love.... and the reason why bed is clean is that you came...." He leaned closer "Into my mouth...." He kissed his nose "A morning kiss and a morning blow...." He winked.

Murdoc looked at him wide eyed for a moment, the laughed. "Seriously? Holy hell, Stuart. That was the greatest thing I've ever woken up to in my life. That felt amazing...." he trailed off and brought Stuart down for a kiss, then he broke it.

"Yeah, you smell like cum." He snickered and then kissed him again. Then he put his forehead against the singer’s. "That was brilliant......" he whispered. "Thank you." He smiled.

Stuart just blushed and smiled even wider. "You’re welcome, love....I didn't know what I was doing Muds but.... I came twice yesterday and you didn't.... that wasn't fair...." He said winking. "And you make the sweetest sounds while half-awake half sleeping...." He said fondly "You whispered 'love you' for me...." He chuckled and hugged him. "Love you too...."

"Well you did a bloody fantastic job, you know? And do I? I meant every word of it." He pet Stuart's hair as he hugged him. He was truly in love.

"You are the best.... I can't tell you this enough my little Bluebird. I can't wait to see the great things we do together in the future." He whispered into his ear and kissed the side of his head, while rubbing his back.

Stuart chuckled "It doesn't have to be in the future Muds.... it can be today already." he said with a brilliant smile. "Thank you my love...." He whispered back not really thinking he made that good job.

 "I'm starving since I did so much exercise yesterday and today...." He joked. "Let's go somewhere have a breakfast.... I pay.... I bet the oatcakes here are much better than Essex'." He said excitedly.

He stood up still naked.... "But first I'll get rid of the smell of cum right....?" He chuckled. "If you want you can join me...." He kissed his forehead gently.

He wondered where Cortez would be by now and if he witnessed their obscene adventure.

Murdoc jumped up quickly to join Stuart. He was a little wobbly, but fine over all. He followed Stuart into the bathroom, smacking his bare ass on the way.

"I will never get tired of this ass." He played. When they made it to the bathroom, Murdoc pushed Stuart up against the wall and kissed him deeply. He was in the best mood ever. Waking up after a great night of sex and to a blowjob? That was a magical feeling.

He pushed some of the hair out of Stuart's face. "You're the loveliest, little Bluebird." He whispered, caressing his cheek gently and looking at those eyes that looked like black marbles. There was a hint of red in them from the blood reflecting back in the light.

Stuart yelped with that smack.... no matter how many times he did that he would always jump. But he laughed.... He didn't mind. "I hope so Muds...." He loved the way Murdoc liked his rear. He was so thin he didn't believe he had a nice ass.

Stuart gasped with that kiss.... He wasn't expecting Murdoc in such a good mood.... He smiled. "Thank you my love.... I try my best with you.... thank God you're not hangover or anything...." He chuckled. He blinked twice looking at him with his most in love face and kissed his forehead. Those sweet words always made his heart flutter with joy.

He carefully grabbed his hand and kissed it guiding them into the shower. He could feel the dried cum on his legs and it was starting to get gross and make his blue hairs look odd. "So, Clyde.... what crime are we going to make today?" He joked while under the water. Stuart was in an amazing mood as well

Murdoc smiled gleefully, happy he didn't call him Bonnie this time. He watched as the water ran off the singer, wetting his blue hair, making it look darker. He could watch him all day.

"Well, I think breakfast is a good start. But crime wise, I'm sure we could fuck somewhere." He chuckled. "Other than that...." then he remembered his brother. He thought about it. He considered giving him another chance. Just the one, because he didn't know when he'd ever be back again.

"Well.... I do need to see my brother one last time." He bit his lip, hoping Stuart wouldn't be too upset by that.

"Oh..." Stuart took his head off the water "That's a great idea, Muds...." He said with a smile "I'd love to try again and make better this time...." He said with his incredible ingenuity. "Call him to have breakfast with us or.... I dunno" he really didn't know if Hannibal woke up early at all or would be hangover.... He was pretty drunk last night....

"We.... need to be home by today's night right?" He asked about the time. It was a long ride home. "Give him a chance love.... I promise I’d behave..."

"And we'll you can show me your shag-places.... I can do something pretty good for you to remember there...." He said sticking his tongue out. Stuart was starting to behave like a nymphomaniac delinquent.  But oh well.... He liked sex and Murdoc too. As long they keep with each other not cheating or anything they would be fine.

"Only my ass is sore.... and my knee isn't that well.... besides I'm fine..." He grabbed the shampoo to wash his hair. His smile never leaving his face.

Murdoc gave him a sweet smile. Stuart was much for forgiving of either Niccals brother than they deserved. He wrapped his arms around him and kissed his shoulder.

"Thank you, Stuart." He whispered and kissed the man's shoulder a few times. "Well don't forget, we can always use my ass." He teased and laughed, hugging the singer tight. "You don't always have to take one for the team, if you know what I mean." He nibbled on his ear.

"Also, before I forget to answer, I know we just film sometime tomorrow afternoon, so I think we should be fine." He turned them so he was under the water now, getting warm.  He wasn't going to bother washing his hair right now, he just wanted to be under the warm water now.

Stuart chuckled with his hair full of shampoo. It was a mess but he didn't mind. He grabbed the soap to wash his body a bit. "So we can leave today or tomorrow right?" He asked sweetly. "I think it's gonna be a nice experience Muds.... better than dealing with my parents...." He chuckled sounding optimistic. Something in the way Hannibal talked to them that he wanted to make different made Stuart believe him, more than the fact that he sounded exactly like when Murdoc promised something. He was naive and forgiving like Murdoc's brother said.

He placed his hand on his head massaging it even if he didn't want to wash his hair. Murdoc’s hair was so thick it looked like a sponge. "Don't worry I'll remember about your ass next time...." when he closed his eyes under the water, Stuart smacked his ass playfully.

Murdoc snorted when he slapped his ass. He wasn't expecting that at all from the singer. He pulled the singer close and gave him a playful growl. "You're lucky you're adorable, Bluebird." He chuckled, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Do you really think it'll be okay with my brother? It didn't go very well last night...." he whispered. When he'd gotten upset last night he almost couldn't remember what happened exactly. Then he remembered how upset he got.

"I'm sorry if I scared you with the knife." He chuckled nervously. "I wouldn't hurt you though.... not on purpose."

"Love, two things. One, he did that on purpose to hurt you, all the comments, the jokes and he flirting with me blatantly to make you upset and jealous. He made it and you almost stabbed him and I know you went out and puked so nervous you were about that lady...... but he did that on purpose ‘cuz he couldn’t stand you happy and he isn’t. Besides, he was drunk as a skunk. Plus he apologized after." he said seriously looking at him. "Second you were angry, you holding a knife was pretty.... hot I could tell, but in another situation and just the two of us...." he blushed a bit sounding naughty.

"I know you won’t hurt me on purpose, Muds......" he looked down "Something in the way your brother spoke made me really think this could work. I know I don’t have reasons to believe or forgive him much less.... but I'm not the kind of lad who goes around making enemies, you know that...." he said seriously "Even many years passing by Hannibal.... sounds like you and he’s really similar to you. So I talked to him like I was talking to you, Mu’doc." he confessed.

"He’s an older and maybe meaner version of you, but he's a man, and miserable I think. He was really hurt when you talked about your father...." he shrugged "I just did what I thought it was the better, ‘cuz even if you and him never got on well, he's your family and I'll respect that."

He shifted place with Murdoc going under the water. "Maybe what he said was the truth, I'm naive and forgiving, but.... where did hate ever leaded anyone huh? Even you find love...." he chuckled "I don’t think Niccals name is that cursed, my love." he said softly.

Murdoc's eyes widened, "My dear sweet innocent Bluejay.... you think I looked hot when I was threatening with a knife? You are a naughty bird." He teased and laughed. That was an interesting tidbit to know about the singer. It made sense though, he was always messing around with switchblades.

He nodded, "I was being a dick too.... I know how he never wanted to end up like our father. Hell, I never wanted that either, but I also chose a different path. I'm not.... I'm not really sure how he knew about what happened to me though. I didn't know he knew that." Murdoc sort of zoned out a bit thinking about it. He tried to remember if he'd seen his brother after the incident. He shook his head, he really couldn't remember.

Murdoc nodded and listened to Stuart. "I suppose you're right. I mean, when will I ever see him again, you know? I don't plan on coming here and I doubt he'll come see me. But if he tries anything again, we are gone." He stated.

"You weren’t threatening me, let put this clear here...." he chuckled. "And thank god I wasn’t the table, you'd stabbed me in one side and the knife would appear in the other." he was really thin and Murdoc was with a strength that he only had and mad and drunk.

"Love, I know you enough to tell you that when you feel threatened you got so defensive that you attack.... I learned it pretty close if you catch my drift. It was exactly what your brother did with you." He meant the times when Murdoc got so irritated with him he punched or yelled at the singer. It was something Murdoc most likely did when he felt threatened. Hannibal pushed far till he got over the edge and Murdoc was really short tempered so it happened fast.

Therefore, Murdoc really didn’t know Hannibal knew. It was twice as a dick move Stuart could that. It was really cruel even for him. Murdoc was lucky he didn’t mind about that accident, and the singer felt really happy Murdoc opened up himself to talk to him about it. Maybe it was a blessing he didn’t remember much.

"For me it's okay, Muds. he asked for a chance we gave." he looked at him "The same would happen with my parents y’know, if they didn’t ever want you back there, okay. I would come back alone...." he said with a smile "C’mon don’t overthink stuff negatively like that.... my parents accepted you.... it was a good surprise wasn’t it? "

he thought for a moment. "Muds.... have you ever wondered about your mother....? I mean you told me you never had her and your father is dead.... but are you sure she is as well?"

Murdoc pursed his lips and looked down. "I have.... thought about it. Actually, that's the whole reason I ended up in Crawley. But she's pretty much dead to me, just like I'm dead to her. So...." he took a deep breath.

"I-I just.... don't have much luck with family I suppose." He gave another nervous laugh. He really had the worst luck. The only parent who was actually decent to him was Stuart's mom. Yeah, his brother wasn't a complete ass but he was still not the greatest sibling.

He looked at Stuart, "I'm sorry our time together keeps turning into little disasters." He said apologetically.

Stuart immediately regretted asking "No Muds...." he said holding him by his shoulders. "Don't be sorry, you're my family, love, and that's what matters...." he tried to cheer him up. most likely Murdoc he couldn’t stand the Satanist sad.

He leaned closer him and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry for asking, just.... all the things that are related to you i like hearing.... I'm interested ‘cuz they're part of you......" he said with a smile rubbing his shoulders "And you’re especial to me...."

"You're my little disaster, Mu’doc and I wouldn't trade you for the world...." he said fondly trying to joke a bit and see him smile. he rubbed his nose against his turning the shower off. he leaned close and hugged him for a moment, as he felt Murdoc needed it.

Murdoc smiled and hugged him back. "Thank you Bluebird. I appreciate it." He rubbed his back. He appreciated when the singer was so sweet. Just like his mom.

"Well, I went down to Crawley cause I eventually wanted to learn more about my mom. I found her still alive and eventually  traced her back to Crawley.... went with my last dollar I had so I was stuck there. Suppose that turned out good in the end." He chuckled.

"I went to see her and.... she seemed happy with a new family, so I just left it alone." He shrugged. He didn't feel like confronting her to see what the hell had happened when he was a baby.

Stuart frowned. It didn’t made sense her happy in a new life. Murdoc must feel abandoned or sorta. "How many years ago you did that, Muds....?" he asked curiously using a towel to dry him gently. He noticed him still a bit sad and shaken with this mother topic. But he was opening himself a little to Stuart, what made him truly happy.

"Well, maybe she had a reason why she.... left you with your father.... not really ‘cuz she didn’t want you...." again the singer being terribly optimistic. "Does Hannibal knows she's probably alive...?" he said drying his hair and his face, concerned.

He knew he going to Crawley was a good thing in the end but.... he couldn’t focus in good things for now.

Murdoc nodded, "Yeah." He shrugged "I never really thought about it. When I was 20 I was tired of bumming around this shithole for 2 years and decided to try to see what actually happened with my mum. Turns out she had me in the asylum, I was given to my father who was seen as more mentally fit to watch a child." He rolled his eyes.

"That was bullocks, but anyways, she got out and had to stay with her parents, I think. They lived in Crawley or somewhere nearby...... when I was 20, I took my last remaining cash and went to go see her from the address I was able to hunt down......" he got quiet remembering the moment.

"Her name was Abigail.... Almaraz, I think was her last name. Anyways.... she had a house and two kids and a husband." He shrugged again and walked out of the bathroom.

"Didn't seem right to just.... interrupt that.... you know?" he called back, grabbing some clothes.

Stuart heard his story and nodded. "You're right...." he thought for a moment if he would have done the same. Maybe he would have tried to say at least hi to her. He grabbed a towel for himself still thinking. "But maybe she would wonder where her son would be, just like you wondered about her.... Beautiful name she has, Muds...." he smiled to him.

The singer leaned closer and kissed his cheek "Thanks for sharing all this with me.... and I’m sorry about that." he whispered to him with a smile imagining how would his mom look like and if she was really happy in her life.

 It was a long time ago that this happened, things could have changed.... her kids older.... they are technically Murdoc's half-brothers.... Stuart smiled and closed his eyes imagining himself having in law's while he was with his back turned to Murdoc looking for his clothes. For a moment his heart warmed. Naive as always. For him family was always a good thing, but for Murdoc sounded like a nightmare. "I would love to have met her, Muds...." he said lowly.

Murdoc chuckled at just how happy-go-lucky Stuart was. He would have never considered her story again if Stuart hadn't suggested other possibilities. But he still didn't think she wanted to see him. He was near 40, which would put her around 55. That was 40 years without Murdoc, would she really want to know him now?

"You're very sweet Bluebird." He smiled. "But.... I don't think we'll be meeting her any time soon.... sorry love." He put on some jeans and a black turtleneck and grabbed his leather jacket. He looked to see if Stuart was ready.

"I'm going to go have a smoke real quick and let Hannibal know to meet us to eat. Take your time love." He said as he turned to head outside. He called up Hannibal but he didn't answer. He left a voicemail telling him to meet them at the diner nearby if he wanted to chat. Murdoc figured he was hung over. He pulled out a cigarette and puffed on it while waiting for Stu.

Stuart dressed up like himself, a tee-shirt and jeans, his all-stars. "No problem Muds...." he smiled to him.

Once Murdoc was outside he decided to send a message to the others real quick telling Noodle and Russel they might start a bit longer than expected travelling. Just to warn them. Soon he was dressed up and went outside with a smile.

Before opening the door, he made sure Cortez was okay. He was hiding all this time on the cupboards and now he wanted to fly a bit outside. "I'm ready love, could you talk to him?" he said softly leaning closer him.

Murdoc locked arms with Stuart as they walked to the diner nearby. The surrounding area had kids out once more, with a few adults around as well, chatting, smoking, or hanging out on their lawns. Most of the houses looked maintained to a point. Some people even took pride in their houses. Stuart caught a lot of attention for his eyes and hair, but Murdoc kept him close, he wasn't severely worried.

"No, I didn't get a hold of him exactly. Left a voicemail. I'm sure he's hung over. He may or may not make it. Such is life, you know? At least we get to go, yeah?" He smiled at Stuart.

The got to the diner and sat at one of the empty four top tables. This place was definitely newer so he wasn't sure what the menu would be like, but it looked good.

The waiter came up and asked what they'd like to drink and if they wanted to start their orders. Murdoc got a water and waffles and looked at Stuart. "What would you like love?"

Stuart nodded to his response a bit disappointed but oh well, life. Murdoc usually didn’t wake up before noon when hung over.... waking up early was something he was doing now sleeping with Stuart.

"Oatcakes" he said grinning "And an orange juice please..." Murdoc ordering water was still something odd for him but Stuart enjoyed nevertheless. He grabbed his hands on the table still grinning.

The waiter nodded and left. Murdoc looked across him at Stuart. "I suppose I haven't really asked you this lately. How are you doing with everything? You still enjoying your time with me? Have you been swayed by the tour of my old stomping grounds? My old how wasn't what you thought it'd be was it?" He laughed. He knew it was way different than what Stuart had.

"Anything else you wanna know about me? Now’s your chance. If you haven't run yet I suppose you probably won’t though." He smiled. He was pleasantly surprised so far.

Stuart's head spinned with so many questions. He took some minutes to process everything.

"I'm doing better than I thought I would to be honest Muds.... when we were on your house I swore I would start crying from your stories and dust...." he chuckled "It’s really hard for me knowing that well, almost nothing good happened with you when younger while I have the sweetest memories......it’s not fair with you." he swallowed hard and looked down.

 "I know you always tell me about them with a smile, but your eyes always show hurt...." he was a bit sad. "I'm enjoying of course, I mean we sang together, we shagged on your old school...." he chuckled again. "I wouldn’t ruin this trip, Muds.... no matter how hurt I felt. I don’t want to see you sadder than you already look since we first arrived here."

"Here is really different from any place I’ve even been earlier in life.... I'm happy you brought me.... and had all this patience to deal with your memories and dragging me into them......" he played with his fingers "It was what I was thinking, maybe a bit poorer I can tell.... but I was working in be ready for the worst even before we drove here."

He looked at him finally "About you...... I wanted you to be friends with your brother one of the only people who has the same blood as yours that's alive.... and I wish we could go and visit your mother.... but it’s what I want.... More people into my family...." he said blushing "But I know I'm stupid Muds.... I dream a lot and I see bright things even into your dark and painful past...." he smiled "Is there any other traumatizing experience you lived in your life that you didn’t talk to anyone and wanted to share...? After everything we've been through I think I can handle anything." he said fondly.

Stuart didn’t know anything more to ask.... like how many girls he shagged...... with who he learned about bondage, where did all his rage and anger came from.... what were his dreams when he was a child.... when he first discovered he wanted to join a band.... but those questions wouldn’t improve their relationship at all....

Murdoc smiled and thought about it. "Well.... I can't really think of much else.... I think I told you all the.... big things." He nodded. "I mean, unless you want little stories, but I don't think anything was as bad as the one I told you...."

Suddenly the door to the diner opened and in walked a very hung over Hannibal. He was wearing sunglasses and was looking around for them. He walked over to them and fell into the chair next to 2D. He leaned over and held his head groaning.

Murdoc snickered and looked at 2D, giving him a wink. He slammed his hand down on the table loudly, startling everyone. Hannibal groaned loudly and held his head. Murdoc laughed. "Hungover are we?" He said loudly.

"Shut the fuck up...." Hannibal hissed through clenched teeth, holding his head still. The waiter came over and Murdoc ordered a water for him and some eggs and bacon.

Stuart couldn’t help but smile. He wasn’t expecting him appearing that early but oh well, surprise.

He mouthed "You're mean" to Murdoc with a grimace while Hannibal bowed his head. Stuart liked the way Murdoc cared about his brother enough to order something for him. He reminded him of the time when Murdoc would wake up that hangover and cursing everybody. Stuart would offer him food and a Tylenol even with Murdoc sending him to hell. He would make a joke like 'rough night?' but he held his tongue. He needed to put into his head that Hannibal wasn’t Murdoc.

He shifted in place giving him more space and leaning closer Murdoc. Even not interested in him Stuart didn’t feel that comfortable with Hannibal, not yet. "Good Morning...." he said in a lower tone trying to sound polite.

Hannibal grunted a "morning." He kept his head down and his sunglasses on. Murdoc chuckled again, he looked around to the surround tables and leaned over to one with a bunch of women who looked in their 30s. He gave them the most charming smile.

"Excuse me ladies. One of you wouldn't happen to have some, yeah? My dear brother here is suffering from a horrible headache and I think he would be forever grateful and in your ladies debt if you gave him a Tylenol." He talked smoothly and they seemed to enjoy it. They giggled and all started searching their purses and chattering that they had something. Murdoc smirked for a second. He still had the charm he learned to use to get what he wanted.

They handed him some, "Thank you all, little loves." He winked at them and went back to his table. He handled them to Hannibal and let him have them with Murdoc's water. "Thanks...." Hannibal grumbled again.

Stuart was too busy laughing to be jealous at this point. He didn’t know how it was to have a brother but it seemed nice. He folded his arms just watching them with a sweet smile on his face.

Anyway, he glanced a warning look to Murdoc about charming and ladies. Even if it was for a Tylenol. He was actually jealous that Murdoc could be charming and get what he wanted and Stuart in maximum would be just awkward and make them laugh and call him a weirdo if he tried to do the same.

He looked at Hannibal, not in a million years a Tylenol would heal that. He looked like shit. But anyway, for Murdoc it was a giant step, he didn’t know if he was doing that genuinely to take care of him or just ‘cuz Stuart was around. It didn’t matter at all.

Stuart was ashamed of starting talking. He didn’t know what to say. So he said a low "Hope it gets better." with a gentle smile.

Murdoc gave him an apologetic smile and shrug. Sometimes he just habitually threw on the Niccals charm. It was how he dealt with talking to people. He was charming but he could be really lewd and crass if he didn't watch it.

Hannibal sighed and took off the glasses. His eyes were bloodshot and tired looking. He looked at both of them. "I blame both of you for this." He growled.

Murdoc shook his head, "Oh no, that's all you. You reap what you sow and all that shit."  He smirked. It was fun seeing his brother in a little bit of pain considering what happened yesterday, but then he stopped. His brother did bother to come out like this so he should be somewhat nicer.

Hannibal groaned, "I'm getting too old for this, no wonder dad was such a damn prick all the time."

Murdoc nodded. "Yeah, suppose it was part of it." It was silent a moment, then the bassist asked, "Why are you by my boyfriend and not by me?"

Hannibal looked up at Murdoc, gave a smirk that was similar to Murdoc's then looked at 2D. He sat up slightly and wrapped an arm around the singer's shoulders and pulled him close. This made Murdoc frown angrily.

"Relax, Doc. I just want someone between us if you decide to get stabby again." He chuckled and let go of Stuart, then turned to him.

"You wouldn't believe it. This one here, "he pointed to Murdoc, "Was the smallest little shit you'd ever seen, among all the boys usually. Yet, the little twat always fought the biggest guy he could find if he didn't like them. He didn't always win either, but if the fucker got off a quip that angered the big bastard he was fighting, then he was as happy as if he'd won. Last night was the first time I was ever truly scared of this little twit." He laughed and shook his head. Murdoc was smiling proudly.

Stuart listened to them carefully. Everything was just fine ‘till the moment he came around him. He smelled horribly of booze still and his voice was much rougher than Murdoc’s. Stuart frowned and was about to snap back when he got off. He sighed relieved.

Stuart smiled too leaning closer Murdoc "Don't worry, he won't stab anyone...." he said chuckling. "To be honest I was scared too." he half said the truth half lied looking to Murdoc raising a brow that Hannibal didn't see.

The singer just prayed god he wouldn't get touchy anymore. Or Murdoc could get stabby again. "I think he is still like this though...." he said looking at Murdoc. It didn't happen still but Murdoc would stand anyone who dared to be in his way.

Their food came and Hannibal groaned a bit seeing his greasy eggs and bacon. Murdoc watched his brother, a shit eating grin on his face. "Eat, dumbass. Greasy food is good for a hangover."

Hannibal sneered at Murdoc then looked back at his food. He grabbed some bacon and started eating small bits of it. It remained silent for a few minutes as everyone was eating.

Hannibal looked from Stu to Murdoc. "So.... you guys never answered my question last night." Murdoc looked up at him curiously.

"Which one was that?" He asked.

Hannibal pointed some half eaten bacon in his hand at Murdoc then Stuart, "Which one pitches and which one catches?" Murdoc frowned.

"Are you honestly asking this right now?" He growled. He normally wouldn't have a problem answering, but he wasn't sure if Stuart wanted him to just openly discuss their sex life, plus he really didn't want to tell his brother, of all people.

"What?! I'm honestly curious!" He quickly continued. "I'm not gay and I just.... didn't know you were Doc. Honestly, how the hell did you guys decide? I just can't believe you would switch to men, Doc." He simply stated. Murdoc frowned deeper.

Okay Stuart was getting done here. He gasped with his food and his sweet smile dropped "We switch okay?" He said frowning losing his patience "Sometimes me sometimes Muds.... It depends on what we want. But I’m glad most of the times I bottom for him, ‘cuz he is a sex god y’know?" He clenched his teeth "If you're not gay I must say you're asking too much for someone not interested to have a dick up into their ass." He was a bit angry now placing his oatcakes back into plate.

 "You know what? It’s good, it's bloody good when you do it with someone you love...." he turned to Hannibal. "But I bet you never shagged a person you love, not woman or man to know this sensation, right?"

He frowned deeply even his voice was thicker "He bottoms to me is there a problem? Just ‘cuz I'm gentle and kind with him it means I can’t fuck him?" Now he was being mean.

 "It happened okay? And it's not your business if your brother is happy with a man." He looked from Murdoc to Hannibal his face red from anger "If I were a bird you'd be teasing just the same.... telling me I was uglier and those whores over there" he pointed angrily to the girls who offered him Tylenol.

Both Murdoc and Hannibal's eyes widened in surprise and only seemed to get bigger as he talked. Hannibal looked a little ill the more Stuart talked and Murdoc had a grin that just continued to grow. He'd only seen Stuart lose his cool like this a handful of times and it was surprising each and every time.

When he was finished, it was silent for a few moments. Then Murdoc broke the silence by letting out the loudest laugh, once again startling everyone. Hannibal’s face turned slightly red and he threw a glare at his brother.

Murdoc started snorting a few times, as he kept laughing. He had to bend over in his chair, holding his sides. People were looking at him concerned. He had tears coming out of his eyes as he started to finally calm down.

Hannibal was looking down at his food, slightly glaring at Murdoc, refusing to look at Stuart. Murdoc was proud of his singer. He couldn't believe he got his brother to look embarrassed.

"He got you." He pointed at Hannibal. The older man looked up, glaring and flipped Murdoc off.

"I was just asking, Christ." Hannibal hissed. "I didn't think he'd make it so bloody personal." He finally glared at 2D.

"Well, don't piss of my Bluebird, he'll peck your eyes out." Murdoc chuckled and went back to chewing on his waffles and winking at Stuart.

Hannibal just grumbled, "I guess...."

Stuart took a deep breath while Murdoc was collapsing. Everyone looked and he bit hard his lip not to laugh. He had lost his composure for a moment and did Hannibal bowed for him? Really? That was good.

He nudged Murdoc for him to stop laughing like a maniac. He looked at Hannibal. He sounded just like Murdoc when pissed.

"You asked yesterday you asked today.... I thought you really wanted an answer...." he said still a bit angry looking at him. He couldn't believe he really made Hannibal embarrassed. "Jesus Christ I thought you were gay and was flirting with me!" He confessed a bit louder, 'pecking his eye'. Everyone was looking to the Satanist already so.

He looked down at his plate eating again. "Anymore questions you need to ask to satiate your curiosity....?" He said just like Murdoc when he wanted to mock someone. He only missed 'love' in the end of the sentence.

Maybe Stuart was more like Murdoc than he thought.

Murdoc snickered and looked at Hannibal. "He's a spitfire isn't he? You were flirting, you know."

Hannibal sighed, "I was just doing that to get to Doc. I don't really want to fuck him," he looked at Stuart. "No offense."

It was silent a few moments, things settling down, when Murdoc looked back at Hannibal. "You knew your mom.... right?"

Hannibal gave him a curious look, "Yeah, very spiteful woman. I think she ever scared our father. She wanted nothing to do with me." He said nonchalantly. "Why?"

Murdoc glanced at Stuart, "I was just telling Stuart about how I found my mom...."

Hannibal nodded, "I remember you leaving Stoke to do that. Any luck?" He asked while taking a bite of some eggs.

Murdoc shrugged, "Kind of. I found her, but I never talked to her." He was pushing around the rest of the waffles on his plate.

"Really now? That would explain why she came to the house sometime after." Hannibal said with a mouthful of toast. Murdoc froze and looked at Hannibal wide eyed.

"What? She went to the house?" He whispered and Hannibal nodded.

"Yeah, she was asking dad about you. He, of course, told her to piss off 'cause you hadn't lived there for a few years. She seemed upset. I think he closed the door and left her there with no answers. "

Murdoc remained wide-eyed and frozen, unable to speak or move.

He waved his hand dismissively to his "no offense"

He heard the conversation. The mother's topic come again. He noticed when Murdoc froze and placed a hand on his knee stopping eating.

"Hannibal, Muds told me she was with 2 kids and a husband. Happy in her new life. He didn't want to disrupt that and went away......" he said concerned "he moved all the way down to Crawley with the rest of money he had and he was stuck there...." he looked at Murdoc "He never knew she came back.... till now." That explained his reaction. He looked back at Hannibal worried.

"Why didn't you talk to her?" He frowned afraid Murdoc would have a breakdown or sorta.

Hannibal shrugged, "I didn't know who it was at the time. I was in the kitchen when I heard the conversation. Thought it was another one of Murdoc's whores looking for him at first. I asked dad about it after she left. Christ, he hardly remembered her, fucking drunk." He shook his head.

Murdoc didn't say anything, he looked down at his waffles, suddenly not hungry. What did that all mean? He'd spent 20 years not knowing anything about his mum because she showed up after he left? Why did she show up in the first place? What did she want? Was she coming to offer him a new life? Apologize? See what mess she had left behind? He was biting his lip so hard, he caused it to bleed slightly.

Stuart heard his explanation looking at him. His face dropped. Why would a woman like her have a son with a man like Murdoc's father....?

He looked back at Murdoc. He seemed having a hard time "love are you all right....?" He whispered to him unsure of what to do. The hand on his knee squeezed it.

Murdoc jumped a bit, getting pulled out of his thoughts when Stuart touched him. He nodded and gave him a slight smile, licking the blood off his lip.

"Uh.... yeah. Sorry. Just a lot to process is all. I'm fine." They remained silent for a few moments, till Hannibal changed the topic to something a bit lighter, asking about the band and all kinds of other things till they were done eating.

Murdoc was thankful for the change in topic but his mom remained in the back of his mind. He almost couldn't believe it. He tried to imagine what it would have been like if he'd met her then.

Hannibal noticed Murdoc was distracted. He looked to Stuart as they walked out of the diner. "Take good care of my little brother, yeah?" He looked at the ground. Hannibal was never openly nice to his brother, but he did care about him.

"You can count on that...." he said looking at Hannibal. "I owe him my life so...." he chuckled "sorry about earlier." He apologized. He looked at Murdoc who was still a bit zoned out. He bit his lip.... He wouldn't force him into anything if he didn't want to talk. But eventually he would take care of him.

"Thanks for coming...." he told him with a smile. Maybe it meant something for Murdoc him showing up. He wouldn't have find out about his mom. It meant a lot Hannibal coming for Stuart. He stopped for a second "I really love your brother." He said confidently.

Hannibal laughed softly as he lit a smoke, "Good. Someone ought to. Take care, 2D." He walked over to Murdoc and gave him a quick hug. He clapped him on the back and said his farewells, to which Murdoc nodded and smiled. He walked off back to his life.

Murdoc watched him go, still dazed. His head was wandering around with thoughts. He wasn't sure what to do next. A huge part of him told him to forget it, going to see his mom was a lost cause. The odds of her being in the same house were small. Plus he didn't know if she wanted to see him. A small part of him wanted to see her, wanted to ask why she left him, why she abandoned him, yell, scream, whatever it took. And an even smaller part wanted to just say hi and maybe have a tea with her.... well, he hated tea, maybe something else. But that part of him scared him the most.

He started biting one of his nails, looking at the ground as he thought. He didn't know what Stuart wanted to do. If he wanted to go back, or stay in Stoke longer.


	38. Driving

Stuart noticed his boyfriend not working well. He decided to do something about it. But not in the middle of sidewalk where they were.

He carefully grabbed the hand he was biting the nails and kissed it. Then he decided to drag him back to the Winnie without a word and enter it placing him sitting on the bed.

Once he was aware of where he was Stuart started talking "Muds, what's the matter? You're not acting normally since the moment Hannibal talked about your mother. Wanna talk to me?" He held his both hands carefully so Murdoc wouldn't bite his nails anymore and looked into his eyes. His voice was soothing and understanding.

Stuart didn't care about what himself wanted. He wanted to know about Murdoc. If he wanted to be on stoke, go home, go after his mother. They still have time and he was there to make him happy. "Please talk to me." Maybe talking they both could figure out what to do next.

Murdoc became aware he was being taken to the Winnie by Stuart. He just followed, then Stuart had him sit on the bed and asked him what the problem was.

"I'm sorry Stu. I just keep thinking about, uh, well, everything. What if my mum wanted to see me? Maybe she didn't? Why'd she take so long? What if I could have had a different life?" He started to ramble.

"I don't know if I should go see her, or stay away. The odds of her being in the same house are low, you know? A-and it's been 20 years since she tried to see me. Maybe she wouldn't want to anymore.... she's forgotten. I mean, she's had kids with that new man that she had married I'm sure."

He was quiet a moment then whispered, "I don't know what to do Stuart.... tell me what to do...." he looked up at him.

Stuart's heart sunk with his despair and hurt tone "Look, love...." He said with the most sweet and soft voice "those are all questions that unfortunately I can't answer for you...." He bit his lip and held his hands tightly.

"If your heart tells you to go after her I'm here to go with you and hold your hand if you need...... you don't have to be alone.... those questions only her can answer, Muds.... I don't mind if we go there and don't find her.... worse will be me seeing you this desperate and thinking what if...." He said in a whisper.

"I'll do whatever you want me to.... I can drive you there if you don't feel like driving y-you just have to guide me...." He placed a hand on his face "I-I can talk to her if you want me to.... it's your mother, Muds.... and your chance to discover all that.... I think we should go there even if we don't find her...." He whispered to him looking into his eyes. "She came to look for you.... It was just a mismatch.... she should care about you even with a new family...."

Stuart of course was afraid that the woman really tells Murdoc do fuck off and mistreat him. But he wanted to sound positive. Murdoc was already thinking negative enough. And even if she does it he will be there to wipe his tears and hug him. He couldn't promise everything would turn out just fine. But he will be there if it doesn't

Murdoc swallowed and nodded. He was thankful Stuart was there to talk some sense into him. He had struggled with this all those years ago and had no one. He'd gone on a long bender after that. He'd found out his mother moved on and then he was stuck in Crawley.

He grabbed Stuart's hands and kissed them gently. "Thank you my little love bird." He whispered. He felt more confident with Stuart there. He stood up and hugged him.

"If you don't mind driving, I'll guide us, yeah?" He said. He would drive but his mind was still wandering and his hands a little shaky.

"Sure.... just make sure Cortez is inside and we may leave right now...." He told him gently. "I just need to use the bathroom first...." He kissed his forehead and headed to the bathroom leaving Murdoc alone for a moment. He thought he might needed it to be sure of what he wanted. Not just ‘cuz Stuart suggested.

He didn't even know how many hours would be the trip.

Murdoc nodded, he went to go grab the bird. He went outside and grabbed a smoke, his hands shaking slightly. He lit it and took a huge puff. When he exhaled, he tried to let it out slowly. He then whistled and heard a caw in the distance. He saw a black speck making it's way towards him. He held his arm up and the bird landed on it. He had his leather jacket on still, which helped with the birds talons.

He brought the bird close to him, nuzzling his face into the birds fluffed up chest feathers. The bird cooed and chirped and played with his hair. The bird always made him feel better.

"I'm going to go see my mum.... how’s that sound Cortez? Wanna take a longer trip?" The bird cawed loudly in his ear, to which he flinched and laughed. He walked back inside after his smoke and the bird flew to one of the chairs and started preening himself. Murdoc sat in the passenger seat waiting for Stuart. He looked out the window nervously.

From where Stuart was he could hear Murdoc talking to Cortez. He was really happy that he would help his boyfriend find his mom. He just prayed god she would be nice as his own parents and don't tell Murdoc to go away.

Stuart washed his face and took a piss. He was nervous too, but much more excited than scared. He washed his hands and wet his hair with his wet hands. Ready to drive.

He walked out and went to the driver’s seat with a sweet smile scratching Cortez in the process. "Ready love....?" He asked in a whisper noticing him nervous.

Stuart knew what could calm him down. Alcohol. He swallowed hard and gripped the wheel tighter turning the machine on. He wouldn't want Murdoc drunk to deal with that. But he didn't say a thing about it. Trying his best to calm him down without booze. "Lead the way captain!" He said excitedly and Cortez cawed. He laughed.

Stuart would never think he would be doing something like that in his life for Murdoc of all people. His heart was beating fast and he felt alive.

Murdoc nodded and smiled at him. "Ay, ay captain. To Crawley." He said. He swallowed, trying to hide his nervousness. He kept thinking about the stash of whiskey in his cupboards, itching to grab it.

He bit his lip and tried to distract himself as Stuart drove. He looked over at the singer, "Tell me.... more about you.... about anything. What would you do if you were in my situation? Just, I dunno, tell me something." He said almost a little desperately.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little nervous. If you'd prefer the radio...." he said, looking back out the window.

Stuart looked at him with a smile. He knew Murdoc was nervous, but talking to him was better than him drunk, so he would talk about anything. It was good for him to keep awake.... His rear was still hurting and his head was about to start aching again.

"Don't be sorry, in your place I'd be too." he chuckled "No, we may talk...." if they got outta ideas to talk maybe radio was a good alternative. Singing always make things better to Stuart. So he after a while thinking decided what to talk to him.

"Well Muds, I'd be nervous and anxious...... but would think that everything would turn out well ‘cuz I'd have you.... If I were doing something like this alone I'd be totally terrified and wouldn’t make it...." he took a glance at him "When I'm with you I feel like I can do anything y’know?" he chuckled.

"But oh well about me? I have an aunt that was adopted. But, well, not by an abusive family...... it was like a good family and she was raised just fine." he looked at the road "She.... wanted to know who her parents were.... who they were and if they were alive, just like you.... well, different from you, love, her parents were really poor and.... didn’t live a good life" he narrowed his eyes "When she found out that, she decided to help them, with money.... and forgive them for giving her to adoption knowing why she did that.... My aunt paid their bills and took care of them the way they couldn’t do with her.... till the day they passed away......"

He smiled "that's why I really think you should see her.... maybe, _maybe_ Mu’doc she thinks you have a good life now.... y’know? That.... If you stood with her you would be miserable, I dunno...." he scratched Cortez a bit seeing "You're leaving Stoke-on-Tent" traffic plate, his unbreakable positivism. "I'm scared Muds, I confess, but.... really hope that this turns into a good meeting ‘cuz...... I saw how you looked at my mother, love, I know you want your mother acceptance or... at least a hug, am I wrong?"

Murdoc nodded, listening, "Well, that's a nice story. Glad it worked out well for your aunt." He figured that was possibly, why the singer was so optimistic about Murdoc's situation. But, of course, Murdoc is much more cynical in the matter.

Murdoc shook his head. "You aren't wrong.... but I think I just want to know why. Why was I left with that drunkard? Anyone would have been better. Cortez" he pointed to the raven, "The bloody raven would have been better!" He was starting to get upset. He knew she probably didn't have any say, but he couldn't yell at his dad nor the people who placed him there.

"I dunno.... I don't know what I'm going to say, if we see her. I'm.... angry.... I'm" he didn't want to say hurt. It’s been 40 years, and he'd never met her. He felt like he'd gotten over it. Could he still be hurt?

"Well.... what about she didn't know your father was.... Well like he was?" When. Hannibal told him she came home and he didn't even recognized her.... Well....

"I think Muds.... if she wants to talk And really answer you why.... I think there's a story before you were born that no one told you and only she can......" He said calmly not even able to laugh about Cortez mention. "I'm not defending her or what she did, I'm just wondering...." He said before Murdoc got angry with him.

"I know you're...... hurt, love. I don't blame you for that. I would be in your place too. If you weren’t or had already overcome we wouldn't be going there...... But yell or curse or feel angry at the woman who gave you tour life 20 years later will make any difference, Muds....?" He said with a sad face.

 "If you don't know what to say I can help you...." He offered softly. Stuart didn't have to bother with any of this. But he loved Murdoc and he really hoped this idea of going there worked. It would be really frustrating if it doesn't.

Murdoc sighed and leaned his head up against the window. "This would be a whole lot bloody easier if I had a drink......" he grumbled. He knew he shouldn't throw his anger at Stuart, the person supporting him, but he was feeling confrontational, one of his usual defense mechanisms.

"How the hell do people deal with this kind of stuff?!" He growled through clenched teeth. "If I hadn't been left with that worthless drunk, I probably would have learned how!" Cortez cawed in response.

"Shut up, what the hell do you know?" He hissed at it. He put his head back on the window and stared out in the hopes of calming down. He really didn't want to be angry, especially at Stuart, who was doing nothing wrong. He just couldn't deal with it. He'd forgotten what true nervousness was, usually dulling it with drugs or alcohol.

Stuart remained silent. He had told him before not to throw his anger at him.... when they were with the witch. But he didn’t listen.

Maybe Murdoc yelling at him was better than yelling at her or her family. So he allowed him and kept looking to the road with a emotionless face wordless. He didn't want to show he was hurt.

The singer wasn't hurt ‘cuz Murdoc was yelling and angry. He was hurt ‘cuz he was failing in making him see the good side or good things. Maybe he was talking too much and angered him. Stuart even not wanting to wouldn't prevent him from drinking. But wouldn't suggest him to it either.

He looked apologetically to Cortez. Then to the road again.

Murdoc stewed in his anger for a few minutes then flipped on the radio, turning it to some rock station. He leaned his head against the window and stared out. He remained like that for an hour. He fought internally with himself, fighting between guilt towards Stuart and anger at the world in general for starting him off in life with a shit hand.

He ran over all the scenarios in his life he could have avoided had she gotten to him sooner. All the broken bones, the bloody fist fights, and the drunk beatings and humiliations and maybe even the incident Hannibal so kindly brought up.

But then he started thinking of all the things that wouldn't have happened and the biggest was running into Stuart. Would there have still been a chance. Would he have gone into that shop and saw the cute blue hair, blue eyed Stuart and heard him sing at some point? Or would their paths never cross? He didn't like that thought.

He sat forward and flipped the radio off, and kept his gaze down. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm not mad you. I'm not mad at her really.... I'm just not equipped to deal with this, you know?"

Stuart allowed him to stay a moment silent and just listened to whatever radio Murdoc chose. He wish he could read his thoughts. Stuart didn't remember the last time they stood so much time in silence. He bit his lip. It was stupid but he liked much more when Murdoc and him talked and laughed about life. His voice was beautiful to him. But he didn't say a word.

Maybe Murdoc was thinking about his life.... He seemed now only nervous but less angry. It was something good in the end. He looked at the clock 2 hours and something till they arrive there. He sighed silently. For the first time silence was bothering him.

He paid attention to Cortez not to fell asleep while driving. He tapped his fingers on the wheel mouthed the songs singing.... anything to keep him awake. The landscapes that involved them were pretty beautiful but looked all the same. He slowly noticed how it looked different from Stoke less grey.

He wondered about Murdoc young and alone doing the same path when he spoke. "That's okay Muds, I'm not ready either. I understand. Sorry for talking too much" he smiled.  "I forgive you." He whispered.

"If you want to share anything with me, I'm listening." He told softly. Wouldn't force or insist in him talking.

Murdoc swallowed, he wasn't sure what to talk about, then something came to mind. "When I was 10, I think, maybe older, I had asked my father about my mum. I asked him if he knew who she was, what she looked like. I had a class that was going over family trees. I wasn't going to do it, but.... it got me interested in my family history a bit."

"Anyways, I tried to talk to my father on a good day. I had gone up to him, asked and waited for the smack to the head. You know what he said to me instead?" He was staring at the road.

"He told me that my mother was a cheap whore, which I know wasn't true. She wasn't a whore, I guess she was a waitress or, uh.... cook, or something like that. And then he told me that he wished he wouldn't had come home that night I was left on his door step. It would have been easier to deal with me then...." he shook his head.

"That brings up two things for me. How the hell did she end up with him? And why would anyone in their right minds tell a 10 year old that?" He laughed bitterly. He remembers not really understand what he'd said then, but he understood it now. His father had always been a prick, he couldn't imagine it otherwise. Why would she choose to sleep with someone like that? Maybe he was more charming before?

Stuart was listening to him carefully. He wasn’t really expecting Murdoc go back talking again but he was glad he did. So now he discovered Murdoc was thinking about his mother since really young. It broke his heart. Not only for grades and bad behavior parents were invited to the school.... there were presentations, the day children are allowed to bring the family to the school to talk about their jobs... All this Murdoc couldn’t have, his heart sunk.

Hearing from a father you weren’t really desired and that he should have left him to...... die. It made him wanna puke. How could Murdoc live all his forty years with that? He bit his lip. "I...... hope she can answer that to you, Muds.... ‘cuz.... well your father can’t...." he said hesitantly swallowing hard. The thought of a tiny Murdoc being left to die or a ten years old Murdoc crying ‘cuz he didn’t understand that answer.... and the singer never meeting the love of his life made his eyes water. That was an awful thought. He shook his head focusing on the road.

"It's something I don’t understand either.... ‘cuz.... I dunno if your father was like that whole life.... like Hannibal lived with him before you came right....? He’s older.... he could tell you i guess...... if he was always like that....what could have happened to him......" he took a quick glance at him, his eyes shining. He didn’t know where so much hate came from.

"I don’t think your mother is a bad person, Muds.... You have a soft and sweet side that.... should have come somewhere.... as you lived you whole life full of hate surrounding you all the time and...." he stopped for a moment or would start crying. he took a deep breath.

"You're not like your father." he stated.

Murdoc looked over to the singer, "Oh, I'm sorry Bluebird. I didn't, uh, mean to make you cry. I mean, I'm over it, yeah? It sucked to hear as a kid, but I think after that, I started to harden up and mostly live out of spite, you know? I wasn't going to give that bastard the satisfaction of dying or becoming nothing and proving him right...." Murdoc clenched his jaw. He smiled at Stuart.

"I'm okay. Really. It's.... what's done is done, yeah? Can't change it now. And really I got to meet you in the end so that's all that really matters. I got my band, I became a success. I have my Bluebird. It was worth it." He smiled, completely serious. He was quiet a moment.

"I think my dad would have been.... maybe 19? I think she was 17 maybe? I don't remember. I can't imagine a young Sebastian Niccals." Murdoc shook head.

"No I'm fine..." he said smiling and wiping his eyes quickly. If he ever heard something like that as a child Stuart didn’t know if he would be ever able to move on. His mother was lovely and his father as well. "I'm glad you.... overcome it..." he took a glance at him not really thinking he really made it.

"Yeah someway everything you achieved only showed him he was wrong...." he placed a reassuringly hand on his knee. Gorillaz and even himself was a way of yelling Sebastian he was wrong all the time. And Murdoc did all that.... Stuart couldn’t help but admire him even more. "Good we have each other, in the end...."

 He blushed when he heard ‘his Bluebird’ and let out a small giggle. 'I can’t even imagine you with my age when you met me...." he told him honestly.

Murdoc laughed, "I was a hellion when I was young. I did nothing but drink and fuck when I got to Crawley. You lot there couldn't even keep up with me." He sounded proud. It had been fun to finally get away from Sebastian and get wild in a new town. He'd, of course, found his delinquent buddies and had a blast trying to create new bands.

He turned a charming smile to Stuart, "I like to think I would have gotten in your pants earlier if we had met under different circumstances! You, what were you, 18? No 19. Anyways, you a 19 year old Bluebird and me, a 31 year old smooth talking Blackbird." He gave a seductive growl. "I think I would have had you bent over quicker than most girls." He snorted. "I would have found your singing voice much quicker, yeah?"

Stuart smiled. He didn’t know what was to fuck and drink around all the time since he didn’t do it when younger.

"Who knows, Muds....?" he said with a wider smile. "I'm glad that we even older meet up. Maybe younger we wouldn’t try something serious ‘cuz.... well...... you'd be interested in fucking and drinking a lot and I would be forbidden by my parents...." he chuckled "Even if I came with you to my home and Let’s suppose you never hit me with your car...... it would be really hard for them accept we were together don’t you agree?" he laughed "id have to hide i was dating a bad boy...."

He blushed with his growl "Probably the voice you'd have found was myself screaming your name, Muds.... not singing really...." he told him honestly. "Anyway I doubt that your younger self would be interested in me, I’d have my original eyes still and my front teeth.... not really attractive for your standards, my Blackbird...." he teased "But yeah, if you told me one word or two I’d be on my knees...." he winked to him.

Murdoc grinned from ear to ear. He liked the idea of being Stuart s bad boy he had to hide. But he was also right, he probably wouldn't have been interested in anything serious at the time.

He gave a small laugh, "I like the idea of you on your knees. But yes, I was a hit it and leave kind of man back then. However, I do think I would have found you quite appealing, even with your normal eyes." He faced forwards again, feeling slightly better. Talking to Stuart always brightened his mood, especially if it involved sex.

"You are an interesting character, love." He chuckled. "How the hell do you stay so positive all the time?" He looked over at him again. He was truly grateful for how positive the singer tried to be. It really helped with his own negative mood and personality. He was also a spunky little shit sometimes, so that made it interesting as well.

Stuart laughed. "Muds.... You shouldn't probably believe me. But I have depression." He said with a smile "I found I had depression when I was little.... after all the bullying all the time, not have friends or girlfriend, I felt lonely overprotective parents always bugging me about my grades and lecturing me about how I was stupid and.... should get away from everything oh and being forced into church i was diagnosed with it." He began.

"Of course my parents thought they failed me and.... I that of course I didn’t have any reasons to be depressed as I had a family a perfect home and all that. So they started treating me with medicine for depression after well I attempted..." He bit his lip he wouldn't tell Murdoc that "Soon I became addicted ‘cuz they made me feel good. I'm till today but in painkillers." He explained softly.

"And well antidepressants kept me cool most of the time and I could forget why I was sad and deal with my life alone.... when I met you I still used them.... ‘cuz when we fought or you yelled and hit me.... I relapsed." He confessed. He really thought Murdoc hated him sometimes and it hurt him deeply.

"So after a while of using them I started to behave all the time as I was still using them y'know? Happy thoughts positive, optimistic.... to hide all the fears I have inside and all bad thoughts. And it actually started to work for me...."

"Then I met you.... And.... I understood that people can have a really bad past and still survive.... So I thought I didn't have the right to feel depressed if I had everything i wanted in life and you didn't and you're not.... Depressed, not even sad. So I quit the medicine" He looked at him "So I never allow myself to think that things will be bad you know.... ‘cuz you've been through a hell and made it." He chuckled

 "I had you as an inspiration after a while.... I felt ashamed I complained about my life after I got to know about yours...... And now that were together I dunno if you noticed but I'm not taking as many pills as I used to.... Not mixing with booze either.... ‘cuz I'm happy Muds. ‘cuz of you.... I'm trying to be better for you the same way you stopped drinking so much...." he told him with a smile.

"‘cuz I know how this things can kill and.... y'know.... I already almost OD once...." He never told this to Murdoc. But yeah it happened. "It was and wasn't an accident...."He chuckled nervously "you should be thinking I'm even more pathetic now right?"

Murdoc remained silent for a moment, processing the entire story Stuart had just told him. He felt guilty and happy at the same time. It was a twisting feeling, that made him slightly sick. He wanted to hug his Bluebird and never let go.

"I-I didn't know.... Christ Stu, I'm so sorry." He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts, then he looked at the singer, "I know you're happier now Stu and that makes me happy to hear, more than anything. But you listen to what I'm about to say. You can't compare scars with other people and invalidate your own because you don't feel like they aren't as bad as someone else’s. They're relative to each and every person.... plus you can't help mental illnesses...." he looked out the window for a moment, then turned back to Stuart.

"I'm sorry I made it worse before.... when did you almost OD?" He whispered. He knew that story all too well. There were plenty of times he almost did on alcohol, but usually he just got back up and started drinking again.

Stuart chuckled "don't be.... I'm just telling you something about myself...." the only issue besides stupidity was his addiction to pills.... that he was totally aware.

His heart raced with his words. Murdoc sounded really caring and he wasn't thinking about it that way. He talked to him as a comprehensive father or something. He felt blessed and his face was a light pink.

"Muds you didn't made. My problem was that. I always felt too much loved too much and cared too much.... too quick was well.... So after sometime I decided to hide what I feel.... So I wouldn't get hurt" he chuckled. "Always with a smile and something to cheer people up...."

His face dropped a little "It was an accident Muds.... I......" He bit his lip. Compared to Murdoc’s life he felt his reasons were too stupid

"I was bullied pretty often but this I already told you...." He said with a smile. "Well one day..." He gripped the wheel "some guys that called me the.... blue weirdo.... "he hated this nickname. "Decided that... as .... you know I was a virgin and...... old for...... most of them weren't.... they...." He swallowed hard. "They locked me in the bathroom after class and.... told me if I didn't shag the girl who they picked up for me.... they would beat me up ‘cuz I was a faggot and a chicken." He was slightly shaking.

I told them to beat me up, it was better and I was used to.... I wouldn't shag her.... I didn't know even how to shag and I didn’t have a condom.... she looked like a whore. I was scared I would get a disease or something." He chuckled nervously.

 "So I waited for the beat up.... but they decided to do another thing.... " he went paler. "They decided to grab me and lock me into one of the bathroom cabinets with another guy.... one of the biggest.... there I was already praying for my life... As I thought he would beat me.... when I discovered he didn't want to break my face. He wanted to......" He said whispering "Rape me..." this story he didn't want to tell Murdoc. Not in a million years.

"For some reason I got so desperate when he come to open my trousers that I fainted. And what They told me was that someone called the principal at that time and they get rid of the bully. As I fainted And only woke up home in my bed with another clothing.... I dunno if he actually did something with me y'know? I didn’t have any mark or pain but.... he could have touched me and I was unconscious...." His eyes showed pure terror

. "My parents came after and decided to change me to another school for protection and.... I tried to tell them what happened but I freaked out.... I was too scared the guy would try something again so I told them I fainted in the bathroom and the guy was.... helping me...." his eyes watered "You're the first person who I'm telling that...." He swallowed hard.

"That day I tried OD. I was so sad. I took one, the pain didn't go away I took 2... 3.... up to 30. Than I fainted again. So it was an accident but it wasn’t...." He chuckled " My parents took me to the hospital I had my stomach washed and they swore they would never talk about that anymore.... Like it never happened."

"You remember that bottle that I find in my time capsule....? Well...." He said looking at the road. "I'm sorry Muds...." He didn't even know how he was still driving.

Murdoc listened in horror. His eyes widened and his heart raced as Stuart continued to talk. He became angrier and sadder with each sentence. Angry at everyone else that ignored or hurt Stu. Guilty he couldn't help him. He started to feel murderous. He wanted to kill whoever had hurt him.

He could understand how Stuart felt. He never intently tried to kill himself, but he did drink himself into oblivion, nearly killing himself. He looked at Stuart, he couldn't say anything comforting to him while he was driving. It wasn't right.

"Pull over. On the side here. Now." He said sternly, leaving no room for questions.

Stuart didn't understand but he pulled over in the middle of nowhere. Cortez cawed not understanding anything.

"What's the matter, Muds....?" He asked looking at him. His hands shook and he was white as snow. "I didn't mean to ruin the trip I'm sorry......" he whispered. "Please don't be mad"

Murdoc swallowed and got up, grabbing Stuart from the driver’s seat and pulling him into the tightest hug he'd ever given. He wrapped his arms around the singer entirely, making sure to hold him close.

After a moment or two, he placed his hands on either side of Stuart's face and looked him in the eyes. "Christ, I'm not mad at you Stuart...... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there then.... I'm not.... great at this sort of thing. I know I'm not the most comforting person in the world, I usually act a little distant.... but I truly mean it when I say you have NOTHING to be sorry for, Bluebird. NOTHING. Got it?" He put his forehead against Stu's.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you then, but I am here now.... " he rubbed his cheeks with his thumbs. "You'll always have a place with me Stuart, and I'll murder anyone that tries to hurt you or anyone in my band for that matter. But you're mine. You're my love. I can't stand the thought of a world without you. I'd do anything for you. You understand me? I love you Stuart." He whispered and gave him a gentle kiss.

Stuart nodded breaking the kiss and looking into his eyes.... "Now... now you feel exactly how I do when you talk to me about your childhood Muds...." he whispered. "I wanted to give you some comfort for that.... but you always say you overcame or don't remember or that's in the past.... so I don’t mind bothering you ‘cuz of that...." he swallowed

 "I wish I was there too.... to take you off everything you didn't deserve as a child.... to love you when you needed most." He said with his whole body shaking and some tears pooled the corners of his eyes. "I wish I was strong as you are, my love.... but I'm not." He whispered.

"After some time I figure out.... I wasn't guilty for all this things that happened to me... but.... I never could tell anyone.... I was scared......" He was whispering. "So I began to care about other people's problems.... So I convinced myself my problem wasn't.... big or important.... or deserved attention" He told him honestly already crying at this point.

"But it hurts Mu’doc.... it hurts a lot. It hurts a lot keeping a smile on the face all the time.... and.... and.... pretend that everything is okay.... and.... Live scared all the fucking time.... hiding what you feel ‘cuz you think no one bloody cares...." He sobbed talking with an angry voice.

"I went through therapy for years But you were the first person that ever listened to me truly.... no one knew this story.... thank you love,  thank you so much." He said wiping his tears angrily. "I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to snap...."

He ranted a bit with Murdoc.... and it was the best thing he could do. Stuart didn't overcome many things in his past. But he didn't mind sharing, thinking Murdoc's past was so much worse. He would hide again when he asked about OD and his happiness.... but he really thought Murdoc would listen and maybe care.

His mental illness was thinking that he didn't matter. That everyone’s problems were bigger than his own and he was just a complaining crybaby.

He found hard to believe people actually liked him. ‘cuz once in his lifetime even Stuart didn't like himself.

Murdoc pulled Stuart close and let the kid cry on his shoulder when he needed it. He was glad he could listen to his troubles since the singer always listened to his. He just let the singer cry on his shoulder as much as he wanted and let him talk. He'd pet his hair and answer him when needed. He knew how nice it felt to get all that off your shoulders, he just hoped the singer felt the same.

When he felt like Stuart was finished, he held him a little longer, petting his hair. Then he, once again, carressed both sides of his face and put his forehead against his.

"I care about you and everything about you, Stuart. Please, don't hide anything from me like that. I'd never make you feel ashamed for it. I do care.... okay?" He rubbed his tears away.

"You can tell me how you truly feel, with everything, yeah? Never hide it from me. You're my singer but most importantly, my love. I'll take care of whatever you need. Understand me?" He whispered and gave him another kiss. He hated seeing his singer cry. He wanted to take all his pain away.

"You mean the most to me Stuart. I never cared about anyone like I do for you. I've never felt like this for anyone. I'd never share what I have shared with anyone if I didn't think you mattered. I love you so much.... thank you for being there for me, the same is the least I can do for you Stuart." He whispered with a small smile

Stuart after a while forced himself to stop crying. He took some deep breaths and listened to his words even unable to see his face due to tears.

Stuart stood there hugging him tight and cried as much as he thought he needed. He just hoped He didn't ruin the trip. Stuart felt really lighter now. And didn't regret telling Murdoc.

He believed all his words even if it was hard to. He actually cared about him.  "I promise love I'm sorry...." He said with a hoarse voice. "Guess we both needed someone we trust to share......" He smiled sniffling with his red face.

"I'm really glad I found you in my life. I love you." He whispered cupping his face. "I'm feeling much better now thanks for hearing me.... for being mine...." He slowly broke the hug. "I'll wash my face.... drink water.... And calm down a bit so we can go on to Crawley okay?" They had another problem ahead still.

Murdoc nodded slowly. He had actually forgotten about his problem for a moment. Stuart had been more important at the moment, all his attention focused on him. He got slightly nervous again.

"You do that, take as much time as you need, yeah?" He smiled at the singer, pulling him down for one more gentle kiss. He let the singer go clean himself up. He looked at the bird, who was flicking his head every which way, surveying the scene.

Murdoc flopped down in the passenger chair again. He suddenly felt exhausted. He'd just felt so many emotions in a short span, the stronger being pure anger, it'd worn him out. He wanted to murder every one of the people who hurt Stuart, ever. But then he froze when he remembered he'd been one of those people. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He still had so much to make up for with the Bluebird.

Stuart smiled and nodded. He went to the bathroom and washed his face. It was red and puffy from crying. He grabbed some of his pills ‘cuz his head was killing him after all that. He felt good but strangely guilty. He thought he could have ruined the travel with that. But we'll.... when would he ever be able to tell all those words to someone.... He felt blessed he had Murdoc. He sighed and put the most sincere smile on his lips. They had much time still till reaching there.

He looked at Murdoc for a moment before turning on the Winnie. "Are you okay love....?" He whispered "try get some sleep till there huh....?" He suggested.

He didn't tell Murdoc at all but he probably have forgiven the guy who tried to rape him. Like he forgive Murdoc.... And everyone who was mean with him in life. He placed a hand on his knee seeing him pinching the bridge of his nose. "Is there anything I can help you......?" He asked sweetly.

Murdoc smiled at Stuart and gave him a sweet smile. "I'm okay love. Just thinking is all." He noticed how Stuart's face was all red and puffy from crying. He put his hand over the singer’s and picked it up to kiss it.

"Thank you...." he whispered, "for telling me all that. I know stuff like that isn't easy. I know all too well. I appreciate it, and I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me." He kissed his hand again, the  brought it down to hold it.

He stared forward on the road. He remembered hitching a ride to Crawley that day he decided to come. It seemed more dreary then. It could just seem better now that Stuart was with him. He squeezed Stuart's hand gently.

"Okay Muds.... if you need anything.... Just call me...." He told him with a sweet smile. Stuart just realized that they needed each other much more than he thought he did. He didn't know what would he do if someday he lost him.

"You're welcome, my love... I trust you much more than anyone in my life" even Noodle and Russel.... he whispered back and slowly kissed his cheek. He smelled salty after crying so much. "I feel more ready than ever to face what were going to see today...." He told him confidently.

He let Murdoc hold his hand all the way if he wanted.... He loved to see how their hands were different. He turned the engine on and started driving once again, feeling stronger and capable of anything now that he talked to Murdoc. He smiled to Cortez and focused again in driving.


	39. Abigail

Murdoc held his hand as they got into Crawley. Then he let go just so Stuart could drive and go where he needed him to go. He had him park about a block away from the house so they didn't draw attention to themselves.

Murdoc stood up slowly and suddenly felt a little tick. He gulped and pushed it all down. He was going to do this with Stuart, he'd be fine. As long as Stuart was there, everything would be fine.

He pushed all the thoughts of his mom telling him to leave or hating him away. He needed to be positive like Stu. He could do it, right?

He opened the door and let Cortez out, then proceded to walk as slowly as possibly towards the house. He was clinging to Stuart's arm, biting his lip.

Stuart took a couple of deep breaths before leaving and he put the rock the witch gave him into his pocket. They needed all the lucky in the world to deal with that.

He kissed his head sweetly before leaving and he noticed Cortez went out but he flew directly to the roof of the house they were going.

Stuart held his arm carefully and at the front door he noticed Murdoc couldn't even touch the doorbell. Therefore, he did it for him and waited with a sweet smile. He thought like he was visiting his parents again.

Soon a woman came. That he thought was his mother. "Hello.... uh...." she made a confused face "Who are you....?" She wasn't expecting any visitors today, except maybe her sons... that were coming to town to visit.

She looked directly to Murdoc for some time, only taking some glances to Stuart ‘cuz his hair was really different and his eyes too.

Murdoc looked at her. She looked similar to when he'd seen her all those years ago, just older. She had short brown hair, with bits of grey peppered in. Her eyes were a light brown, almost gold. She had small wrinkles near her eyes and the corners of her mouth. Her skin was naturally darker brown, made slightly darkener by the sun.

Murdoc froze, he was breathing hard and his heart was beating fast. He couldn't say anything, just stare nervously. He tried to say something, but couldn't. He fidgeted for what felt like hours when it was truly only a minute.

"I, uh...." his mouth was dry and he panicked. All the negative thoughts came to the surface of his mind, like a geyser.

As Murdoc didn't know what to say Stuart decided to try "we.... I'm from Crawley and he's from Stoke. We.... came all the way down from there to.... talk to you."

The woman raised a brow to his statement. "Is your friend okay?" She pointed at Murdoc.

"He's a bit nervous.... can we talk to you for a bit....?" He dared to ask. The woman glanced a bit more to both of them grimacing.

"Sure you may enter.... my husband and my sons aren't home but......" she opened the door for them. He was working and the kids didn't live with her anymore "Your face is familiar to me...." she whispered to Murdoc looking at him.

"Lots of people tell him this...." Stuart tried to joke dragging Murdoc along with him. He was nervous too and he felt like he shouldn't be there.... He wasn't her son.

Murdoc gripped Stuart's arm tightly as they walked into the cozy home. There were family pictures everywhere, her with a handsome husband and two little twin boys. They looked more like her, whereas Murdoc had looked more like his father. He paled and started nervously shaking. He wanted to walk out but he couldn't bring himself to.

They sat down in her kitchen, Murdoc finally letting go of Stuart to sit. He kept his gaze down, only glancing at her sparingly. When they were all sitting and waiting for him to speak, he swallowed and pulled all the courage he could.

"Do.... do you remember a.... Sebastian Niccals?" He asked, faltering slightly. He looked up at her, then at Stuart

Stuart noticed she had a home.... a home like his parent's. He swallowed hard remembering how Murdoc's ex house was.... And he felt awful. He noticed her husband and the kids.... they didn't look much like Murdoc.... but they seemed a beautiful family and they must be grownups up to now.

He decided to stand up as Murdoc's mother didn't sit as well. He folded his arms and leaned against the sink giving him a sweet look.

She looked at him a bit more sternly when he said that name. "Of course.... how could I forget him? That old bastard. I met him when I was.... 16....? God had been a while now..." she shook her head than looked at both man.... now she could remember from where Murdoc's face came from.

"Why? You have something to do with him......?" She looked at Stuart "you told me he is from Stoke......" Stuart nodded and looked at Murdoc. She was much less sweet and caring than Stuart's mother. She reminded him of Murdoc too.

She had the same serious look Murdoc gave the singer when someone was hiding something from him. Abigail turned to him "What's your name....?"

Murdoc gulped and looked from Stuart to Abigail. He contemplated leaving again, he felt cornered. If he wasn't careful he'd start lashing out. He was shaking again. He was so happy Stuart was here because there would have been no way he'd have been able to do this before by himself.

"I'm...... Murdoc.... Murdoc Niccals...." he whispered as he looked at her. "I... uh.... nice to meet you....And I can agree that he was a bastard." he chuckled nervously. He wanted a drink more than anything in the world right now. He'd kill for it.

Stuart bit his lip. He looked at the woman next to him and just nodded. He was trying to reassure her she could go ahead and talk to him even Murdoc that nervous.

Abigail stopped for a moment.... "Nice to meet you.... Murdoc...." she looked to the singer. "Stuart, Stuart Pot, ma'am....it's a pleasure finally meeting you...." he said with a smile.

"Why do you have his surname....?" She sat down and began whispering looking to Murdoc. When she left, she didn't have the opportunity to give Murdoc a proper name. That's why when she came back Sebastian refused to tell her where he was or his name. He always hated Murdoc and for him since he left home and didn't earn any more money to him.... to Sebastian he died. And dead people don't have names. Besides that he was drunk and didn't understand who she was or what she wanted.

She was growing nervous and Stuart went to Murdoc’s side placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked at him silently. His eyes saying 'I'm here'

"He should be dead by now...... the last time I saw Sebastian was 20 years ago...." she looked at him. "How old are you Murdoc....?"

Could be he....? Abigail was really thinking he could be another person from his family to tell her Sebastian was dead or anything.

 "Do you have.... any other relatives.... a brother an uncle....?" She bit her lip... Much like Murdoc does when nervous. Stuart cracked a smile

"I'm, um, 39...... I was born June 6, 1966." He said, after noticing Stuart right next to him. He was still nervous but he felt a little better. He watched as she sat down, looking nervous.

"Oh, yeah, and dad died back in.... 94 I think." Had it been that long? Murdoc felt old suddenly, but when he looked at his mom, he felt young at the same time. He felt like a kid.

"I have a brother, well half-brother, Hannibal. He's a git, but he's still my brother." Murdoc chuckled.

"I was dropped off on my dad's door step.... he took me in surprisingly. The drunk bastard probably thought I was a gift from someone." He scoffed and looked down at his hands. "I'm sure he would have gotten rid of me if he'd known how...." he laughed bitterly. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't come out and say, 'Hi I'm your son.' He fidgeted nervously. Maybe she didn't want to remember. It'd been so long ago, he wouldn't blame her

Abigail eyes widened. It made sense.... his story. His age.... And Sebastian did have another son.... that date.

She looked from Murdoc to Stuart. Stuart nodded again. She seemed looking for reassurance. She didn't know who Stuart was for Murdoc.... but something in his sweet smile helped her go ahead.

 "So you're his son.... right....? Or at least he took care of you as I can say..." she cleared her throat and looked at him. "You must be asking yourself now.... why...... I dropped you...... on his doorstep...." she said indirectly what Murdoc wanted to hear. It was hard for her too. She wasn’t used to deal with her feelings either.... even married she never told him she had another child when younger. The hand on his shoulder from the singer squeezed.

She had a more serious expression now and her fingers were interlaced on the table. "I had a son born exact that day.... Murdoc." She said slowly. Murdoc was a beautiful name. "I was 16.... And his father I can tell you for sure was.... Sebastian." She stated to him. "I really didn't think.... I’d ever see you again after that night... How did you find me......?" She asked more sweetly. Thank god her husband only would come back home at night.

 “He talked to you about me....?" She thought he would never be curious about her in life. Or hate her for sure. Her tone was serious.... she was dealing with a 40 years old man.... And Murdoc looked like he could understand already things in life. He had big scars and definitely wasn't innocent anymore. She treated him the way she treats her own sons now. Like an adult.

But she looked at him and saw the baby she left.

She couldn't stop looking at his cross. It was upside down.... but the cross she left Murdoc with was a normal one the night she left him

Murdoc's noticed the change of tone in her voice. It was sweeter. It made him a little more hopeful that she wouldn't be mad at his presence. He gave her a small smile.

"Uh, after I left that house, I bummed around for two years and thought maybe I could find out who my, uh.... mum was. I went to the asylum you were at when you had me and I did some digging. They said you'd moved to Crawley to stay with your parents. I eventually traced you back here when I was about 20...." he wondered if he should tell her the rest or not. He figured he should.

"I was walking up to this house and.... I saw you and your family. I, uh...." he looked down. "I didn't want to interrupt that, so I turned around and left. I was surprised you were still here actually. I was stuck in this blasted town for the next, what was it, almost 10 years I think." He chuckled nervously again.

"Uh, Sebastian never talked about you really. Between being drunk and whoring, he was to preoccupied to talk to Hannibal and me about our mothers." He didn't want to mentioned the time he called her a whore.

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting now. I was with my brother and Stu here and my brother said you had gone by the house, but I was already gone.... just thought we'd maybe meet at least once, you know?" He gave her a nervous smile. He was still shaking and nervous, but it was getting better.

She listened carefully and nodded at each paragraph he spoke. She gave him a small smile.

"I see Murdoc.... I thought he had talked about me to you at some point. Let's say he.... didn't Exacly... Liked me." She was nervous too.

"Look I can answer all your questions if you.... still wanna know about me... Or about what happened.... you're not interrupting...... definitely." She clarified. He made all the way down from Stoke just to see her. She felt...... flattered about that. She was really trying to be polite. Her heart raced when she listened that he thought about her. She never forgot Murdoc.... 10 years and they never met.

Her hands shook thinking her son was so close yet so far all this time. But she understood why he left. Actually Abigail thought he would do better with Sebastian than with her. She was wrong.

So she looked up "You must be Stu.... right?" She smiled. "What you are to my...... son....?" She swallowed hard when saying that word.... she thought it wasn't right to call Murdoc that after what she did. "I think you must have insisted with him coming here or at least gave the idea...." she said looking at his sweet smile and puffy face.

Stuart bit his lip. He had almost forgot he was there at that moment...  he wanted to leave the two alone but he couldn't leave Murdoc in a moment like that. He looked at the Satanist unsure of what to say. "You boys want something to drink while we talk....?" She said with a smile before he could answer.

Murdoc nodded and smiled, "I'd really love some coke if you have it." He would have preferred a rum and coke obviously, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. "Stuart likes tea usually, never liked the taste myself."

“Stu here is my singer. I made a band, we're called Gorillaz, we have a place in Essex. It's currently being watched by our 15 year old guitarist and our drummer Russel." He chuckled, wondering what they were up to. He found it easier to talk than he thought it'd be, but it was still hard to look directly at her. It's like he worried he'd see her disappointed or upset face. He also liked talking about the band. He figured she'd probably never heard of them, so it didn't hurt. He looked at the singer.

"Stuart's my.... boyfriend as well." he said slowly. He fidgeted his hands wondering how she'd react to that. He prayed to Satan she was okay with it.

She smiled and nodded standing up and looking for their beverages. Fortunately, she bought a coke for her kids when they come and she liked tea pretty much. Stuart was about to say she didn't need to bother about him but we'll....

"15....?" She said chuckling. Stuart noticed her laugh was Murdoc's laugh if he was a woman. He blushed. "kids nowadays are really impressive I guess." So they came even from far. Essex to stoke than here. "I'm sorry I'm not into those new things nowadays.... but I bet you’re famous right?" She felt someway proud of Murdoc achieving that much in his life.

Stuart blushed hard when Murdoc told her the truth. His hand looked for his and he held it, looking to Abigail. The old woman looked at them and their hands together

"he's lovely, Murdoc.... I'm glad you found someone in your life." she said boiling the water. One of her kids decided to be with a man too, so it wasn't something odd to her. She thought Sebastian would have killed them both if he knew. She leaned closer Stuart "so.... you're taking care of him, huh?" She had a playful smile.

Stuart smiled at her. "Your son is the best thing that ever happened to me ma'am.... and I love him." he told her terribly fond squeezing his hand a bit. The words coming easy after all Murdoc helped him through earlier. "Him and our band." He smiled to Murdoc. "Thanks for the tea..." he didn't mind which flavor it was.

"Don't mention it...." She said going to the fridge for the coke and picking a chamomile teabag. Herself liked it with whiskey as well but.... not the right time for that. She began putting it into a glass "so.... I must tell something about my life right....? What you wanna know, Murdoc....?" She said seriously yet fondly.

Abigail never thought she would have that chance in life. She offered him the coke

Murdoc felt immense relief when she seemed okay with it. He relaxed more and took the drink. "Noodle's amazing. She's could easily kill me, but I'm her favorite so she wouldn't do that." He laughed. He was nervous, but happier and more relaxed, so he started to ramble a bit. "And Stuart here is amazing. I accidentally hit him with my car.... uh twice kind of. That's how he got the eyes. But he's quite amazing and talented. His singing voice is the best voice I've ever heard. I just knew he was the one I needed in my band."

He caught himself talking and closed his mouth, embarrassed. He smiled nervously, "Sorry."

 "Yeah.... I guess I don't want to be rude, but......" he put his hand behind his head, rubbing his neck, embarrassed. "Why? Why did you do it?" He looked at her. "I'm not mad. Really. I mean, I was, and I was hurt, I thought I'd come in here yelling, demanding answers. I don't want that. I finally get a chance to talk with you and that's all I want to do." He smiled sweetly, showing his sharp teeth unintentially, not realizing they may spook her. "I just want to learn more about you, yeah?"

Stuart smiled to him fondly noticing Murdoc blabbering about the band and all that. He seemed a bit more relaxed and it was all they both needed now. "Muds is right.... he's her favorite.... he's like a father figure to her...." he told the woman with a smile rubbing his shoulders now. Stuart blushed when he started talking about him. "I-I'm not that good, love...." he whispered. "It's his band and he plays bass...." he clarified to her. "And about the accident I forgave him already...." he said quickly.

"Muds....?" everyone liked this nickname. She heard about the accident and felt bad for him. "You look like a really forgiving person Stuart...." she smiled and started making his tea. Stuart instinctively held the rock into his pocket. "So this little girl is like.... his daughter....?" she asked curiously.

"Our daughter, ma'am.... me, Russel and Muds take care of her.... she came to us when she was ten." it was almost like Murdoc, but not a baby, Abigail thought with herself. She immediately started thinking about her son taking care of little child and smiled. Murdoc wasn’t like his father.

She soon offered the singer the tea and sat down. "It's a long story.... but you two came a long way here to leave without answers." she said a bit more seriously. "Murdoc I don’t blame you for being mad and hurt with me, I would be in your place. I wouldn’t blame you even if you hated me." she looked to his sharp teeth, reminded her of Sebastian for a moment. She took a deep breath.


	40. Abigail 2

"Murdoc I met Sebastian when I was sixteen. I had mental issues and I feel to the charm of the Niccals you know what I mean." she rolled her eyes. "I met him while I was at the asylum treating myself. " Stuart stopped to listen, he had his issues as well "I think he should be looking for me for a while or I don’t know.... he was a bit older than me and well.... we got close." she looked down at the table.

"He told me he lived with his son, that at this time was three, Hannibal. I asked about his mother and he told me she got pregnant and left them to live with another man. He told me he was really sad ‘cuz he wanted that child, wanted to give Hannibal a brother or sister and I was naive and believed." she sighed. "That was my first mistake. The second was the day I went to his home. He lived in a simple house and could provide the minimum to his son.... that was adorable I must say. Soon I decided that I could have a better life if I give him a child and maybe lived with him...... like your brother's mother would do. I was sixteen. And yeah maybe you have another half-brother you don’t know about. "

“Then my parents found out and I can’t say they were happy for me. They didn’ like Sebastian and I decided not to insist. They ordered me having the child ‘cuz they didn’t want me to abort and I wouldn’t be allowed to assume it. So I was allowed to live with Sebastian and Hannibal at this time ‘cuz they didn’t want me pregnant around…. till I was ready to have you. He even helped me out with that ‘cuz… I was little thin and young… It was a risk or me. And I needed my medicine to keep my mind in place.” Stuart froze with that. He was trying to off himself when he was sixteen and she was pregnant. His heart broke.

“Actually Hannibal even liked me but he was so little he shouldn’t remember me or his own mother. The day I give birth to you I only came back home to leave you and I ran back to my parents’ home. I never said Sebastian I was leaving or said goodbye. I just… left. I was a minor so what could I do?.... I needed to obey my parents. So I thought he would care about the child I gave him at least even without me around…” she bit her lip “I guess I was wrong…” she whispered ashamed.

“Look I had no mental conditions to assume a kid and my parents made a document proving that… so even if I wanted to stay with you, legally I couldn’t. They needed to decide your destiny and they didn’t like Sebastian so why would they like his son? Give him back to the father. They didn’t listen to me when I said I wanted to assume you. And I really thought leaving you with him would work out….” She looked at him “I know you mustn’t believe… but Sebastian was really caring about your brother when I first met him… he didn’t drink or gambled… so I can’t tell you what happened for him to turn into that… drunk demon I saw when I came back years later or the way you’re talking to me about him.” She didn’t know if Sebastian got crazy after she left. Or that Murdoc always reminded him of her… he took those answers to the grave. And Abigail didn’t like to think like that ‘cuz well… it was her fault in the end. Maybe Sebastian really liked her.

“Murdoc I didn’t do that ‘cuz I wanted. I didn’t do that ‘cuz I… didn’t want you…” she said in a even lower tone. “I moved here got married and have my kids after all this happened so my parents would be happy and not thinking I’m a waste of space you know?… but I never stopped thinking about you. I prayed for you everyday. I just gave up looking for you when you didn’t live in Sebastian’s place anymore ‘cuz… well… my husband and my kids doesn’t know I had another son. And my parents always got mad when I talked about Sebastian’s son…. And I couldn’t leave my kids here… they were little and needed me.” She smiled “I didn’t have the opportunity to give you a name, Murdoc…. Who gave you this name was him.” Back in time she didn’t even care about his birth document, was Sebastian who made it

“I gave my boys all the love I couldn’t give you, Murdoc.” She grabbed her purse “they encouraged me to go after you multiple times… but I was scared… I thought you’d be too well without me to even remember I existed.” Or she would appear with a whole new family saying “these are your half brothers and stepfather”. She wasn’t alone anymore. “Look, this picture was the only one of you I had… I asked for a nurse to take it when I was going outta the hospital… my parents didn’t see it…” she handed him the black and white picture. It was yellowish and torn apart. From a polaroid. "I missed you and wondered about you everyday...." she was getting emotional but like Murdoc she wasn't easy to cry.

“And this cross… Murdoc I gave you a really similar to this one when I left you… My mother gave it me, it wasn’t upside down but oh well…” she chuckled. “I was stupid naïve and thought you hated me… all those years. But I still thought you would turned out to be a good man, well succeed… and with a lovely partner to share the life” she pointed to Stuart that blushed.  His eyes were shining with tears. “I always wished my best for you… and that you could forgive me one day before I died. And well that I could call you, my son."

Murdoc listened to her explanation without interrupting. He slowly lowered his eyes down to the table and then to his hands that were clasped together. His breathing was slightly uneven, his head swimming with a million thoughts. He had no idea where to even start.

The biggest thing that hurt him the most was hearing how his dad used to be, well, normal. Nice. Caring even? What the hell happened? Was it all because of Murdoc?

When he heard how she said her sons were little and needed her, he felt selfish for thinking he needed her too. But she explained exactly why she couldn't be with him, and it made sense. It made complete sense to the rational part of his brain. But another part was still upset. All those broken bones, those bruises, the insults. The child in him said it wasn't fair, but the adult him knew better. Life wasn't fair. Everyone did their best to cope, some people just had worse luck than others.

He looked at the picture she gave him. He looked at young Abigail holding him as a baby. He felt sad, for both of them. For what was about to happen to him and for what she had to do. He didn't blame her at all and he wasn't mad at her either, he just felt.... hurt. He missed out on so much, he never even got a chance to try. He was mad at fate starting him off with a bad hand.

His eyes stung for a second and he blinked a few times and cleared his throat. He set the picture down and, without looking at either of them, he got up and walked to the door.

"I need a smoke, I'll be right back. I promise. Just.... give me a moment." He said as he pulled out one. The second he stepped out the door, a few tears streamed down his face. He ignored them and lit the cigarette with a shaky hand and puffed on it a few times. He just needed a moment that was all.

Stuart let him go again. At least this time it wasn’t ‘cuz of a teasing or anything. He felt his heart tightening when he saw Murdoc crying. He sat down in front of him mother.

"Did I tell something wrong Stuart....?" she asked just like Murdoc when he was desperate. his heart broke a little.

"Not at all, ma'am, you told him the truth and that was what we came here looking for. Actually I would be here with him even if you didn’t allow us even to enter your home." he told her with a smile.

"You really like my son don’t you....? Why didn’t you go after him......?" She asked playing nervously with her fingers.

"I know him since I was nineteen, ma'am, I know the moments when I need to let him go.... and when I have to stay......" he said placing a hand on hers caressing them. "I know the decisions you took were.... the best you thought for your son... . I can tell you ‘cuz we have a tiny girl to take care and we only want what's the best for her....I can’t even imagine if something bad ever happened to her...... so I don’t blame you for anything...." he looked into her eyes. "Thank you for.... giving birth to the man I love.... I just wanted to tell you that." he smiled.

Her eyes watered. He seemed like an angel, a weird one, who brought back her son. "Thank you for.... helping him come here...... I know you don’t have to be here all this time listening to an old woman's rambling...... but.... I don’t know you Stuart, but you made a mother really happy today...." she chuckled and sniffled.

Stuart smiled and with his long arms he wiped her tears away...... "Oh don't cry.... you're a beautiful woman...." he said cheering him up. "You have a beautiful family to take care of too.... he will forgive you." he said optimistically as usual.

"To be honest with you.... I could live without his forgiveness Stuart...... I just couldn’t live with him unhappy." she told him honestly. Stuart bit his lip.

"I promise I'll make him happy ma'am......" he said softly and held her hands a bit longer.

"Oh please, call me Abigail...." she said with a light chuckle. "One of my sons is marrying a man too......his boyfriend is lovely."

Stuart looked at her with a smile.... but he didn’t really think Murdoc would want something like that.... "You have a really beautiful name, Abigail...."

"oh thank you Stu...... who knows one day you'll be calling me your mother in law huh?" She joked and he blushed hard. He cracked a smile.

Before he could answer Cortez came cawing on her window and they both jumped. Stuart smiled "this little buddy here is Cortez.... he's our little pet...." he opened the window for him. "He traveled with us all the way here...." he scratched his neck.

"Oh he's lovely...." she knew Murdoc having a raven as a pet wasn’t really something odd. She came near and Cortez stared at her. Stuart frowned to him so he would behave. He cawed happily to Abigail. And Stuart laughed.

“You'd love Noodle.... our kid.... she's amazing...." he looked at Cortez thinking about that. she was really optimistic, and got on well with him. Abigail grabbed a banana for him to eat while they waited for Murdoc.

After two cigarettes, Murdoc finally felt ready to go back inside. He wiped his face to make sure they couldn't tell he was crying. He took a deep breath and opened the door to walk in. He saw them with Cortez and smiled a little.

"Ah, I see you met my little Mexican jailbird.... he saved my life, so I brought him back." He said, sitting down in his spot. He whistled to the bird, to which Cortez hopped over to Murdoc. Murdoc reached out to pet him and Cortez nibbled and played with his fingers playfully. Murdoc chuckled.

He took another deep breath and looked up at both Stu and Abigail. "Sorry.... I just had to take a moment when I heard you say Hannibal was adorable. “He tried to joke to ease the tension. He cleared his throat.

"But, um...." he looked at Cortez, "thank you for telling about all that. I know it couldn't have been easy. Especially when you had to let me go...." he swallowed. He wasn't sure how to continue to the next part.

"I was thrown off by how you said Sebastian, um, used to be." He clenched his jaw and looked at Abigail, "I can't imagine it. He made my life a living hell and, from what it sounds like, it was all my fault." He frowned sadly.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you at all. I'm just.... telling you my story I suppose. I'm incredibly happy you are doing so well and you found someone better.... he would have made your life hell too. I'm glad he didn't get that chance." He smiled slightly.

He looked up at some of the family photos on the wall nearby. "You have a lovely family...." he tried to imagine himself in the place of the two boys that were his brothers. He really couldn't. He knew he was meant to stay with Sebastian, to be miserable, to fight to survive. That's who he was. That was the Niccals way after all. He sighed and looked back at Abigail and Stuart. "Can you tell me a little more about them?"

Stuart giggled when he joked. He looked at him fondly.

"Well most babies are adorable...." she shrugged. "And don't be sorry, it's okay...." she thought that maybe if Murdoc was alone he would have run off, but now he had Stuart and couldn’t leave him there.

She listened to him carefully. Stuart leaned on the sink again and folded his arms silently looking at them. "Murdoc it wasn’t your fault. Probably was mine. I didn’t know he would turn into this.... I really thought he wanted a child after he told me about Hannibal's mother...." she sighed. She was so naive. "Unfortunately is something only asking him to know...."

She smiled tenderly to him.... it wasn’t fair Murdoc's life was a hell but she was glad hew own wasn’t. "You found someone good as well, Murdoc. "She looked at Stuart. He smiled hearing his question.

"Oh.... my husband is a bit younger than I am. His name is Juan Almaraz. I met him while working on the restaurant, I'm a cook by the way. My husband is a teacher. Today I had a day off ‘cuz the boys should come and visit me. They're twins and by the time you told me you came around here they should be three or four." she went to the wall taking the picture to show Murdoc.

"This one is Raul, this one is Roberto, they're both 24 now and don’t live here anymore...." she looked at him "Roberto is getting married to a lovely guy soon and he's a policeman and Raul is still single, works as a dentist." she smiled. "these are your half brothers, Murdoc." she stated looking at that and imagining Murdoc in the middle of the picture. than she passed it for Stuart see. "They didn’t want to keep with the cooking life...... I guess...." she chuckled.

"They're really handsome, Abigail." Stuart said fondly. He thought Murdoc was really handsome too, besides much older.

"Thank you Stu.... I bet they would like to know you, Murdoc...." she wanted to show her family to him, but maybe it was a bit too much. She couldn’t even call Murdoc a son.

Stuart grabbed his cellphone "Look this is our family...." he said chuckling and showing her pictures of the band, from the folder Gorillaz, after he gave Murdoc back the picture.

Murdoc looked at the picture as Stuart showed her the pictures. It was hard to tell what he was feeling at the moment. He was jealous, angry, hurt, happy, you name it. He ran his thumb gently over the glass. He set the picture down and sat back, pursing his lips. He knew he really needed to get over this, but he couldn't.

He didn't care how much Stuart tried to make it sound like they had a happy little family. He swallowed. They were Noodles family he supposed. Both Stuart and Russel got the chance with an actual happy family.

He looked back to the photos. Police officer and a dentist. He was the bastard bass guitarist who couldn't even be his own front man. He kept digging himself into this bitter self-pity hole. He felt miserable. He hated fate, he wanted to tempt it.

"Would they really want to know me?" He suddenly said frowning and looking up at them. "I was a delinquent. I went to school drunk. I got into fights. I got my nose broken the first time because I pissed my bully off. My dad insulted me, hit me, cursed me. My brother broke my nose two more times because I used his turn table one time." He was starting to talk through clenched teeth. Maybe this was a mistake, this poor woman didn't deserve this, but he couldn't stop, the dams were opened. He sat up, his hands clenched into fists, a snarl at his lips and tears filling his eyes from the anger.

"My dad made me dress up as Pinocchio and made me sing at the local pub for beer money. I left just before I turned 18 and came here. I was stuck in this fucking town. I became a drunk, amphetamine freak. I went in and out of jail." He stood up, his fists clenched still, tears falling on their own accord now, but he didn't care. He was starting to raise his voice.

"I made countless bands that didn't make it. I sold my soul to finally make it. That's all I wanted. I just wanted one goddamn person on this earth to know who I was and to give a damn!" This suddenly turned into a different kind of rant, but he couldn't stop now. He was crying, shaking, and yelling over something that wasn't about either of the two people he was yelling at, just something he felt he needed to get out apparently.

He stood there shaking and crying, teeth clenched looking at both of them. "It took me over 30 fucking years on this miserable planet for someone to care about me and what I did! I did it! But that's not what other see.... they see a drunk bass player who's egotistical and crazy....  that's all anyone ever sees...." Was he afraid to disappoint this new family? His mother? His anger suddenly dissipated as he looked at Stuart. He suddenly laughed softly.

"Except Stuart...." he bowed his head down, suddenly ashamed and embarrassed of his rant. He flopped down into his seat and buried his head into his hands, trying to calm down. He felt like a fucking dick.

Stuart was happy showing her pictures of them and trying to soothe the situation. He yelped once Murdoc started breaking down. He curled more and more into himself sitting down and placing him phone back into his pocket ashamed. He looked at Abigail, scared.

The woman had a concerned face. She knew he could explode anytime. Sebastian had the same kind of breakdowns through life. His words hurt her. But they were the truth. When his rant became a bit more personal, she looked at Stuart that seemed really terrified and even paler. He held back tears biting his lip and she placed a hand on his shoulder once Murdoc was done, to reassure him. She frowned a bit to him and the singer didn’t get it. His eyes were white from fear.

Stuart contemplated leaving for a moment. He regretted what he did trying to see the bright side of everything like he always did. But no. He would stay with Murdoc till the end. He didn’t dare to touch him though. He sniffled and tried to uncurl himself. He knew he wasn’t mad at them.... It was all pain and hurt from years of suffering leaving him. And he was glad he finally could let it all out.

"Murdoc......" Abigail said in a low tone. "You’re my son, and I love you." she said all at once after discovering who he was. Before she lost her courage. "I'm so sorry." She didn’t know what to do now.

Stuart bit his lip even harder not to cry but his eyes full of tears. He wanted to tell him the same, touch or hug him. But his body didn’t move. He was too scared to move. He bowed his head resting his arms on his lap. What Murdoc told them was the truth. But either way, Stuart always saw much more than someone drunk and broken. He saw a man, flesh and blood. A hurt and miserable one. But who had feelings and deserved to be happy. He choked a sob. He wasn’t ready for that.

Murdoc took a minute to collect himself. He kept his hands over his eyes, embarrassed. "I'm sorry...." he whispered. He heard Stuart let out a choked sob and his heart broke. He decided to buck up. Pitying himself was pointless and helped no one and only hurt Stuart. He sniffed, wiped his eyes aggressively and took a deep breath.

He looked up to Stuart and saw the white eyes. He felt even worst. "Christ.... I'm sorry, Stuart. I'm not mad at you." He stood up slowly and walked over to him, bringing him in for a tight hug suddenly.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and pet his hair soothingly. He looked over at Abigail. "I'm sorry as well. I'm not mad at you either...." he smiled slightly. "You called me your son, that’s really nice of you.... Thank you." He cleared his throat, still holding Stuart close. "I don't know what happened to me.... I'm sorry. It.... Happens.... Sometimes. Something I'm not proud of. Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you." He whispered.

"Your family is nice. I'm glad your kids grew up into good people. Maybe someday you'll let us meet?" He didn't think, after that tantrum he just threw, she'd want him anywhere near her normal family. She probably couldn't wait to get the angry, failed, child and his black eyed, freaky boyfriend out of her kitchen. He felt guilty for doing this to Stuart. He really tried. He knew how much he wanted this to work. He hugged the kid tighter.

Abigail smiled sadly.

"I know Muds, I'm sorry too...... I know you're not mad at me.... That's okay" he whispered back to him closing his eyes shut trying to calm down. He gripped his shirt. He was just scared. He hated when Murdoc yelled even not at himself. It was instinctive he could tell.

The old woman placed a hand on his shoulder "I dunno if.... I'm right doing this but...." she stood up and opened her arms for him "If you want.... you can have a hug.... from your mother" she asked in a low tone "If you don’t.... I understand, Murdoc." she would be hurt of course but would understand. She had a small smile looking at him.

Stuart stopped for a moment and looked at her offering a hug. His eyes slowly went back to its normal color after some blinking. He looked from Murdoc to Abigail speechless, he felt really happy with the old woman’s attitude. It was much better than kicking them out her house.

Murdoc was surprised by the offer. That was the last thing he expected. He held on to Stuart tighter for a moment before slowly letting go. He hesitantly brought his hands to his sides. His heart was beating a million miles a second suddenly. He hadn't really hugged anyone besides Stuart, maybe Noodle hugged him once? The bird didn't count.

He turned to her and walked towards her, but stopped in front of her, unsure if she was being serious for a moment. Then he stepped forward and gingerly wrapped his arms around her. She was slightly shorter than he was, so she was the one who had to sort of lean into him, similar to how he had to with Stuart. He was afraid to hug her too tightly. Suddenly he worried if he smelled or felt too greasy.

Abigail smiled. At least he didn’t declined her hug. Murdoc smelled like smoke and coke. Maybe a bit of Stuart. Now he was older and even taller than her. But she closed her eyes and tried to focus on Murdoc her child son. The hug she never could give him when he was little.

She sighed and hugged him back carefully. That was probably the only time she would be able to do it so she tried to memorize the feeling. She closed her eyes shut and let out some tears through her lashes silently. She hadn’t cried in a while so.... it felt like a relief. Stuart smiled from ear to ear seeing that sweet moment happening in front of him.

After a moment when he felt like they were both comfortable hugging, he hugged her a little tighter. "Thank you." He whispered a little shakily. She smelled like spices thyme and cinnamon, probably from her cooking.

They finally broke the hug a big and he looked down at her. He noticed her crying a bit. He brought up his hands and wiped the tears away, similar to how he did with Stuart, out of habit. When he realized what he was doing, he quickly brought his hands down. "Sorry. I'm so used to doing that with Stuart, sorry if I made you uncomfortable." He said.

Abigail opened her eyes when he thanked her. She smiled fondly with her face still hidden on his shoulder. She felt better now, and hoped Murdoc too.

When she noticed Murdoc was wiping her tears that she finally noticed she was crying. "No I'm not uncomfortable Murdoc.... I just.... can’t remember the last time I cried..." she chuckled painfully "it's like a relief find out that I'm still able to...." she put his own hand on his face just looking at his eyes. From this close he really looked like Sebastian. However, deep inside his mismatched eyes, she still could see the child hiding inside there. The one hurt and scared. Her heart tightened. She wasn’t uncomfortable with anything. People say that mother's heart is ready or almost anything when it came to sons.

Stuart wiped his tears quickly and flashed a thumbs up to Murdoc. He was happy as ever seeing his boyfriend with his mother. The singer could even feel he missed his own. He sniffled and mouthed one "I love you too." that he couldn’t do before ‘cuz he was terrified. Stuart was easy to forgive and forget and he was really happy for Murdoc. Cortez cawed loudly from the window. he was witnessing everything silently and even him felt bad for his owner. He flew and landed on the back part of the chair, nuzzling his head on Murdoc's body. Even the bird was there for him. Stuart found it really adorable and giggled.

Murdoc chuckled when he felt the bird at his back. He looked at Abigail with a small smile. "Well.... thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me. I'm so sorry for just barging in here so suddenly. I really hope we can chat again soon, yeah?"

He said holding onto her hands. They were soft and even small than his own. He admired her darker skin and how beautiful she was, even in her older age. He wished he could have looked at least slightly more like her, but another thing the fates decided against him.

He looked at Stuart and gave him a small smile. Then he let go of Abigail’s hands and walked towards him, wrapping an arm around his waist as he turned back to his mother.

"I don't know what time your husband or sons come home, I suppose we should head out...." a small part of him didn't want to leave, but the more rational part told him he had to.

"We won't take anymore of your time today." He grabbed a piece of scrap paper before he forgot and wrote his number down to give to her. He was starting to think he needed business cards or something, with as much as he wrote his number down.

He gave her one last smile and walked to the door with Stuart. He gave the singer’s waist a small squeeze as a thank you for coming with me. He had to make it up to the singer.

Abigail nodded.... "Yeah I must say I wasn’t ready for that.... If I knew I would have guests today I would have cooked something for you guys...." she said looking at them both, they seemed so skinny.

She blushed a bit when Murdoc stared at her.... he seemed admiring her for a moment.... she felt a little embarrassed.

"You're not taking my time.... you made my day brighter, I'll have so much to tell them..." she looked at the time for a moment, it was about them to come anytime now. She grabbed the paper. "I'll try to be in contact, you guys must be pretty busy with the whole band stuff and famous life...." she joked.

Stuart giggled and opened the window for Cortez, he went back to the Winnie like a good pet. He smiled to Murdoc fondly joining him to the front door. He felt like his mission was completed. He quickly kissed his cheek. Abigail saw it and smiled going with them to the door.  "Thanks for being so nice with us, Abigail." he said softly.

"Don’t mention it, I bet we'll see each other more often, who knows next time with whole family huh....?" she nudged him  jokingly. Stuart imagined how would be for her meet his mother, Rachel.... they were both lovely their ways.

Murdoc laughed nervously. The thought of everyone together made him a bit nervous. That was too many people he would have to try to appease all at once and it sounded exhausting and overwhelming for him, but it'd make Stuart delighted so he'd do it regardless.

"Thank you Abigail." Murdoc said. He was pleasantly surprised and glad he came. It was nice that there was a parent out there that liked him at least. He'd never had the love of one, Stuart's mom being the closest he'd ever experienced.


	41. Going Home

He kept his arm around Stuart as he waved with the other and they walked outside. He stopped when he saw some people walking up the sidewalk towards them. Murdoc noticed it was the twins and Abigail's husband. He froze and his hold stiffened on Stuart.

Abigail wished that eventually he would call her mom. But no rush.... it was all knew for Murdoc. She smiled widely noticing her husband and sons were on the way.

Stuart waved goodbye as well with a goofy smile. His smile only grew when he noticed they coming he looked at Murdoc that seemed nervous. He knew he would have to do this for him.

Juan lifted a brow to both man coming out his home. Roberto and Raul recognized them "Oh aren't you Murdoc and 2D from Gorillaz ....?" Roberto said with a smile.... "What were you doing in our place....? Is there gonna be any show in Crawley?" Raul asked with a beam.

Juan came to both boys like a serious father "I must ask why too as it's my house." He smiled but was frowning at both man.

Stuart even nervous and scared decided to tell the truth "yeah we are.... I'm happy you recognized us...." he told the boys "Mr. Almaraz, Mrs. Almaraz will be able to explain to you both better why we were there."

Mr. Almaraz decided to go into the house and talk to his wife. Roberto and Raul stood there to talk to them.

Murdoc continued to grip onto Stuart as Mr. Almaraz went to talk with his wife. He looked at both boys. He looked at Stuart. He suddenly felt old. He was near 40 and the rest of them were all in their 20s. He tried to put on his usual Niccals charm like he usually did when meeting fans. He smiled.

"Uh, yeah, hi. I'm Murdoc Niccals, as you know. And this is 2D obviously. Kind of hard to miss the blue hair and black eyes." He laughed.

"I'm surprised you recognized us, you know our music?" He asked. His grip remained on Stuart, he was nervous. He was used to talking to his own brother, the one he'd known for his entire life. He couldn't talk to these two like that.

Stuart kept smiling. He didn't know how to be charm with fans ‘cuz he was just too sweet and stupid for that. But he quickly noticed Murdoc faking. Okay he would help him. He waved when Murdoc presented him. Just fans he thought. 'Not brothers in law'

"Surprised? We're surprised you were in our home.... I mean, mom is not a huge fan of your music.... she's more into classical y'know?" Raul the most talkative started.

"We know! Since we were younger.... I bought your new album too.... btw it's awesome! " they were already young but oh well Gorillaz was 8 years already on the road. "Why were you there, sorry to ask....?" Roberto asked. Stuart bit his lip he wanted to say but he wasn't her son.

"And you don't need to be nervous with us...." Raul joked seeing Murdoc holding tight on Stuart for his dear life. "We're just...... wow.... about only to visit mom and.... all this happens" he smiled and his laugh reminded her. Stuart looked at Murdoc .

Murdoc could see Abigail in her sons. He felt a pang of jealousy again. He always hated how much he looked like his father. He turned out okay thankfully, but whenever Murdoc met someone who already knew his father quite well, which meant they probably hated him, they automatically hated Murdoc more times than not.

When they mentioned his grip on Stuart, he quickly let go, slightly embarrassed. He laughed nervously, faltering on his usual charm them he cleared his throat and put the mask back on.

"Well, I'm glad you like the new album. If you ever want to come watch us shoot one of our videos you are more than welcome. We're actually shooting our Dirty Harry video tomorrow. You should swing by. We live at Kong Studios." He found an old receipt for cigarettes in his pocket and used a pen he had to write the address and his number. The business cards were once again looking like a good idea.

He gave them the sheet and got more serious, "And uh.... as to why we were here today.... that's probably good to discuss with your mother." He smiled at them in a more sincere manner.

Raul grabbed the sheet "Look brother, he gave us his number..." he said excited.... "Are  we  really allowed to watch....? Wow...." he was smiling just like Stuart when he was eating sweets.

"We'll try to go.... thanks for answering us.... We'll talk to her about it...." Roberto said. Stuart was a bit hurt Murdoc let go of him, but he acted like nothing happened.

"And  well, we saw the kiss of you two in MTV award, just wanted to say congratulations to you two, my boyfriend is huge fan of you too...... you only gave us the strength to go ahead.... I mean.... I would already get married but seeing my idols doing the same.... in front of everyone...." he said with a smile and Stuart blushed.  

"Thank you...." Stuart said in a low tone unable to say anything else. He didn’t have a mask. And the two were the first people to talk to them about that kiss and it was actually a supportive reply.

Murdoc blushed, he'd actually forgotten the entire kiss on stage. Actually, not forgotten per say, but so much else had happened between the kiss and now, he just hadn't had time to think about it. He forgot that people saw that kiss and already knew they were an item. He smiled at their kind reply and grabbed Stuart's hand tightly.

"Well, you know us, always going against the grain. We don't give a damn what people think. This one here can't get enough of me. And I can't get enough of him." He laughed.

"Uh, in all seriousness though, this one here has helped me through quite a bit lately...." he looked at Stuart. "And I owe him a great deal. It'a always nice to find someone like that. And it's especially great he's willing to put up with me." He laughed again. He felt relaxed for once coming to this house. He felt like he was talking to friends.

Stuart blushed deep red and he shook a bit holding his hand. He bowed his head smiling.... Murdoc saying good things about him in front of other people.... especially his bothers made his heart race.

Raul noticed him blushing "Oh I wish I had a life like yours…  Famous, lots of money.... love of my life with me.... not caring about anything and with people loving me for what I do." He said honestly. He wasn't jealous at all. He just thought Murdoc's life was really good.

Roberto laughed too. "Oh yeah, hope we have time to meet up again someday.... You must be really busy right....?" He chuckled not understanding what they were doing there. Soon they heard his father calling for them "We gotta go.... Murdoc, 2D.... it was a pleasure meeting you both...." He said politely

"Well try to be there tomorrow...." Raul waved goodbye going inside. Stuart waved too. "He smiled to Murdoc when they entered the house "Your brothers are nice, innit....?" He told him with a smile but his eyes were full of exhaustion.

Murdoc watched them go into the house and nodded. "Very nice...." he said. He turned to Stuart and squeezed his hand. "I'll drive us home.... I want to sleep in your bed tonight." He laughed and brought his hand up to kiss it.

He suddenly felt he was truly lucky. He'd never been happy with what he had, always wanting more. He knew then, after everything they'd been through, that he was lucky to have Stuart.

"Come on, love." He said walking down the walkway to the sidewalk and down to the Winnie. He opened the door for him and guided him in. When they got inside he pulled Stuart towards him, pulling him in for a kiss. He kissed his lips gently, then peppered his face with kisses. Then he looked directly at him.

"You are amazing.... thank you." He whispered.

Stuart chuckled. "Anywhere you want me to Muds...." He was dragged to the Winnie and blushed with that sudden kiss. He smiled to him and held his shoulders "Thank you...... I'm so glad we could really meet them...... He said honestly "I’d do everything again if you needed...." He said honestly.

Murdoc smiled and held him close. "Thanks Bluebird...." he hugged him tightly. "I really appreciate it. I'm glad you were here with me." He whispered. He held the singer like this for a while, petting his back. He still felt bad about his slight outburst earlier but it did feel good to get it off his chest.

He pulled away and caressed Stuarts face, then went to the driver’s seat. "If you need to lay down you can. It's only less than an hour away I think." He started the engine. He made sure Cortez got into the Winnie.

"When we get back, I'm going to treat you to whatever you want Bluebird!" He called back as he drove them out of town. "I want to thank you for all you've done!" He smiled as he looked at the road.

Murdoc telling him that made him blush and smile even goofier "I'll rest Muds.... I'm really drained after all that...." He confessed allowing himself to feel exhausted. "Don't worry about it.... I did all that ‘cuz I love you...." He said leaning closer and kissing his cheek.

He said going to the bed "thanks for driving us home....You're the best...." He told him honestly

Murdoc nodded and let the singer go lay down. He remained quiet for the singer, humming to himself at certain points. He hoped Stuart was okay. He was slightly worried about the kid.

When the pulled up to Kong, he parked and went back to the sleeping singer. He laid down next to him and stared at his sleeping face. He was quite adorable.

Stuart noticed the van stopped and that someone was laying next to him. But he didn’t smile like normally, his face looked worried scared. He was dreaming of something. Something he was desperately trying to get rid of. He was in a dark room and all he could hear was a loud howl, non human. the place was cold and looked like made from rusty metal.

He tried to get away from the howl but it seemed amplified from the place where he was in. He tried to hit the walls, to hit the door calling from help, but no one seemed to hear him. So he sat on the floor and curled, afraid of what made that sound, crying and calling desperately from Murdoc. He didn’t know what to do. Soon the howl stopped and whole place was silent. Stuart lifted his head and looked around. It wasn’t dark anymore, actually was a beautiful sunny day. he was sitting on the sand now and there was water near he could feel and smell the salt.

"Mu’doc...." he mumbled in real life when Murdoc appeared in his dream, at this time he was sweating, the place was really hot. He was with his turtleneck and the singer smiled. When he got close and kneeled in front of the singer he was about to hug him, he could see he wasn’t really Murdoc. The creature had a scary face and big round scarlet eyes. Stuart wanted to yell but whole place was so hot he didn’t have voice. So he started crying again and desperately pushing the creature away from him but he was too weak.

That Murdoc  smiled deviously and grabbed him by his hair, it hurt, dragging him to the sea. He didn’t say a word just laughing. And his laugh was metallic, wasn’t really Murdoc's tone. The singer struggled yelled and cried begging for him to stop. But he didn’t. Soon he was on the water and Murdoc knows Stuart doesn’t know how to swim properly.

He was engulfed by the water. And he started to feel he couldn’t breathe, it was so cold comparing to the place where he was first. Soon the howl came back even louder. He opened his mouth to yell again but all that came into it was water. He closed his eyes and stopped fighting only accepting what was happening.

    Stuart awoke in a start, white eyes and instinctively he got away from Murdoc, pushing him, still scared and panting suppressing a yell. He began shaking violently and breathing hard like he needed air. His face was pure horror. It was a really strange dream. He put both hands on his head curling in a ball to the side. His head was killing him and tears pooled his eyes. Those two red eyes couldn’t get off his mind.

Murdoc started to notice the singer was moving in his sleep. Moving and slightly whimpering. He heard the singer whisper his name. He tried to pet the singer’s hair and cheek, telling him he was right there. He tried comforting him, but there was only so much he could do while the singer was asleep.

Suddenly the singer's eyes popped open and they were white. Murdoc knew something was wrong. They only turned white when he was afraid. When he went to go comfort him, the singer shoved him again.

Murdoc looked at the singer, hurt and worried. He watched as the singer curled into a ball on his side, shaking and panting and whimpering. He didn't know if he should try to comfort the singer again or if him shoving him away was a clear sign telling him to leave.

Murdoc wasn't going to have it, he got up and grabbed Stuart's pills and some water. Then he came back next to a shaking Stu. He sat the water and pills down and attempted to calm the singer down. He gave him small little pets in his hair and tries telling him it was alright. He stopped every time the singer flinched. He started humming Stairway to Heaven, hoping to calm the hysterical singer. He had to do something.

Stuart after a while finally calmed down. He was still crying but he turned around to face Murdoc "Muds I'm so sorry.... " He whispered lowly "I didn't mean to push you...." He forced himself to sit on the bed and grab his pills and water taking 5. "Did I hurt you....? I had an awful dream...." his eyes slowly went back to their normal color when he calmed down they were full of years still. His heart was racing and he was white as snow.

He hugged his knees against his chest. "Are we home already....?" He tried to avoid the nightmare topic. "I think I slept whole trip didn't I? God I was tired...." He chuckled.

Murdoc frowned, worried. He got on the bed next to the singer and wrapped an arm around him protectively. He rubbed his shoulder and pulled him close, while his other hand came up and pushed some of his blue hair away from his face. He also wiped away and stray tears and dried his face as best he could.

He noticed the singer was still pale and trembling. His heart hurt seeing that, but instead of continuing the topic, he followed the singer’s change in topic.

"We are home Bluebird. You didn't hurt me." He smiled at him. "Do you need a bath?" He asked, wondering if the singer needed something relaxing. He finally asked, "Are you okay, my love?" He rubbed his shoulder gently.

"It just felt so.... real.... you and me in the dream...." He looked at him. He didn't want to tell that what the witch told him felt real, it would make Murdoc upset. "I'm really sorry I wake up like that." He cracked a smile. He kept telling himself mentally it was just a dream. "I think a bath would be lovely of you join me...."

He  kissed him for some moments.  And them looked at him fondly touching his face and certifying himself he wasn't that Murdoc from the dream. He bit his lip. He wouldn't ever do something on purpose to hurt him would Murdoc? He wrapped his arms tightly around him. Hugging him back. "I just need you...." He whispered "I think we had.... lots for a trip right....?" He sighed with a shaky breath.

Murdoc wrapped both arms around the singer and held him close. He was obviously shaken for whatever his dream had been, which had obviously been about Murdoc. He prayed it wasn't about him hurting the singer.

"It's okay love. We had a big trip and I'm so thankful you came with me. A lot happened and I'm glad you were a part of it all. I don't know how I'm going to make it up to you." He rubbed his back. Then pulled away slightly and put his hand under the singer’s chin to lift it up to look at him.

"We'll start with a bath, yeah? You know I will always be here for you and I never say no to a bath." He gave the singer a sweet smile and winked. He unwrapped himself from the singer and grabbed his hands. He slowly pulled the singer to his feet. He wrapped an arm around his waist and walked with him into Kong studios.

Thankfully, it was night and he figured Noodle and Russ where quieting down, watching a movie or sleeping. He sent them a quick text to let them know they were back. They'd talk to the two tomorrow. Right now, his singer needed his full attention.

Stuart nodded and followed him inside. He was really glad to be back home. He held his hand tightly.

They arrived at the bathroom and he smiled. "I'm glad we could do it all together, Muds.... I just want to spend the rest the time with you and rest till tomorrow's recording...." He said fondly.

He opened the faucet to start the bath. "You really think they will come tomorrow, love?" He said taking off his shirt. His whole body ached from the tension of the nightmare. "And are you okay after all that happened?" He wanted to talk about how was the experience for Murdoc too. If he was happy after all that outburst he had.

Murdoc shrugged and smiled, watching the singer. "I don't know if they'll come.... I'm sure it'll depend on how it went with Abigail saying I'm their long lost brother."

He went up behind the singer and wrapped his arms around him. The singer was pretty much healed completely, his pale skin was a blank canvas for Murdoc to paint on after tomorrow.

"I'm going to mark your entire body tomorrow after the shoot." He whispered into his ear. He nibbled his ear. He then kissed down his neck and his shoulders. Then he kissed down his back till he got to his jeans.

He reached around and undid his jeans, pulling them and his underwear down, helping him out of them. He stood back up and turned the singer around. He caressed his face and peppered it with kisses. He looked into his eyes.

"I love you. I couldn't have done what I did without you.... thank you Stuart." He whispered.

Stuart shivered with his touches. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss Murdoc. He blushed hard hearing his promise and nodded. He definitely needed Murdoc after all that. Even after the nightmare.

"I-I love you too Muds......" He said whispering and looking into his eyes "Can't wait for you to mark me again, love...." He said honestly. "Don’t need to thank me.... if you need help with anything.... you know where to find me...." He winked to him grabbing the bottom of his shirt to take it off too. He would be there for him in the good and bad moments.

Once his shirt off Stuart hugged him, peppering his neck with his calm kisses, going to his ear and then his face, kissing his lips for a while. He loved those lips. "God I missed you...." He said sighing. Even if it was just a couple of hours he always needed Murdoc. He undid his trousers too letting them fall together with his underwear on the floor and grabbed his hand guiding him to the bath that was already full.

Murdoc stepped into the bath with the singer and sat down across from him. He grabbed Stuart's feet and started to massage them. He wanted to treat the singer like he said he would. He owed him so much.

"These last few weeks have been wild......" he whispered, still in awe with everything that's happened. He looked up at Stuart, "I still can't believe all that's happened." He laughed, "I only got punched once."

Stuart melted with his touch. "See?" he laughed "And I didn’t dehydrated from crying so its an improvement...." he said with a smile. "I can’t believe you actually do have a family now Muds.... how are you feeling about this?" he asked fondly loving that massage. "I think it was an amazing experience, love.... they seem good people......" he thought for a second "and even your brothers saw us, they're our fans.... this is amazing" he said throwing water up like a child. "I know it was really hard but I'm so proud of you, Muds...."

Murdoc snorted, "Well, I don't really know what the think. I went from having just you three lot in my life to possibly more. It's honestly a little overwhelming...... it's family, you know? Something I never had...." he whispered as he started massaging Stuart's other feet.

"I don't even know if Abigail and her family will, uh, want me I guess. You know what I mean? They could decide not to want anything to do with me.... although I liked the twins. I get nervous that I’d end up being a bit disappointing I suppose." He answered honestly.

Stuart nodded agreeing with him. "Family is overwhelming Muds...." He chuckled "don't worry I'll teach you how is it to have one...." he winked to him. "You were really courageous going there...."

"Well love the way they behaved I don't think they possibly wouldn't want you.... and after the breakdown you had she offered a hug and not kicked you outta her home.... I think that's a good start...." He smiled adorably.

"Even if they decide against you.... something I really doubt. You at least had the chance to talk to them...." He smiled even wider "don't worry about being disappointing love, we're their idols" he chuckled. "Plus Abigail will have the opportunity to explain them about you and all that happened.... they'll understand...." He said like always optimistically playing with the water.

Murdoc nodded slowly. He liked to believe they would accept him, but the cynical part of him told him to keep his expectations and hopes low so if it did end up in failure he wouldn't be disappointed. He wasn't sure if he could handle getting something like that and having it ripped away suddenly. It might break him.

He smiled at Stuart and scooted closer to him, then pulled the singer the rest of the way, till he was in his lap. He wrapped his hands around his waist and kissed his shoulder and chest gently, all over.

"Even if it doesn't work out, at least I'll have you, yeah?" He smiled and looked up at the singer. He could at least count on that from Stuart.

"Of course you do Muds.... even if anything doesn’t work out...." He chuckled "till death do us part, love...." He said not really thinking and straddling on his lap.

He wrapped his bony arms around his shoulders and leaned closer kissing him. With that little Murdoc was able to make him forget the nightmare and his tiredness. It was like he gave him life. "Beyond anything I'm your best mate. And this doesn't change" he kissed his nose fondly.

"I really dunno what I would do if I didn’t have you, Muds...." he whispered pressing his forehead against his.

Murdoc chuckled, "Till death do us part? When did we get married? Did I black out again?" He teased.

"And I'll always be around, whether you want me to be or not." He chuckled and closed his eyes, smiling. He felt so happy. He was getting used to this feeling and he was starting to like it too. He never wanted to let go.

He looked at Stuart. "So.... are you excited for the video shoot tomorrow?" Murdoc was excited, he loved the outfit he chose for it and Stuart would be shirtless. It was perfect, well almost. A group of children would be there but he'd deal with it.

"Sorry I've always wanted to say that...." he blushed. He couldn’t thing of anytime he wouldn’t want Murdoc around. Well, except the ones he was mad or something, this ones Stuart usually got scared easily. His hand went to his hair caressing it.

"Yeah" he said excitedly "I know I'll fry under the sun but.... at least I'll be with you.... and oh, please remember me to pass sunblock on my back.... I'll need your help for that..." he chuckled.

he leaned closer his ear "but if you really wanna know I'm more excited to after it if you understand what I mean...." he purred. "After all this we lived I think I'm even more in love with you......" he confessed. "Are you excited to melt with me?"

Murdoc blushed and smiled, "Oh you know I'll always help rub whatever you want on you love." He though Stuart was adorable. "And no need to apologize love, you can say whatever you want to me. I'm only teasing."

Murdoc had to control himself a bit from getting too excited. With Stuart on his lap and him talking suggestively, he could easily get hard. He nuzzled his neck and licked him from collarbone to jaw with his long tongue.

"I'm excited to do anything with you, honestly." He purred. "If you want to melt, we'll melt together." He held onto the singer’s hips, rubbing his thumb over the skin slightly. He then turned to kissing his collarbone. He wanted to bite him so bad.

Stuart giggled...... Murdoc was in an amazing mood. he didn’t want to make him excited but he couldn’t help. "Just wait bit more love.... you'll be able to cover me in purple...." he said looking into his eyes. He was mesmerized by them.

"And tonight, my angel.... what you feel like doing with me...?" he said whispering and not lustful. he began kissing his neck, his face, biting his ear, just enjoying his skin. His hands went to his face and he touched his nose, his  lips his eyes. He smiled. "I love you...." he whispered. "And after all it’s a pleasure working with you...." he chuckled.

Murdoc chuckled and enjoyed the little touches. He whispered, "You, my tall, blue haired angel, are the biggest cock tease I have ever met. But if that's not an option, I would love to fix you a cup of that tea you like and I'll have some whiskey then I'd like to cuddle with you till we sleep. How’s that? I think I deserve at least a glass of whiskey, yeah? If I control myself?" He pleaded playfully.

He brought his hands up the singer’s sides and, running his hands over every slight bump of rub, and back down the slightest curve of his hip bone. He enjoyed his soft skin and felt every scar or fault, loving every unique mark.

When the singer brought his hands near his lips, he playfully bit them, hoping to get another giggle from the singer. "Your fingers are so long." He commented and grinned up at the singer. They were long and clumsy but they played so beautifully. Truly magnificent fingers, really.

Stuart smiled. "Of course you deserve, love, even a bottle if you want.... " he chuckled and blushed with his compliments "But I think if you have a bottle you'd be standing up on the table and singing again...." he laughed.

He shivered feeling Murdoc touching him and closed his eyes. He was so thin, Stuart sometimes wondered why Murdoc was with a skull like him. He thought he was more into, chubby type. He instinctively went further him, resting his whole body on him. He felt so safe, even not fitting into the tiny tub.

When he bit his finger he giggled again.... he looked at his hand "they are.... i look like Jack Skellington from _Nightmare Before Christmas_...." he joked.... "Unfortunately this turns you into sally and .... Cortez into zero...." he shook his head laughing "I'm sorry, child mind coming to the surface......" he smiled.

"You want to watch a movie with me, love? You can have me and aaaall whiskey you want...." he promised with a goofy smile placing his hand on his face. "I can touch you with my long fingers if they make you happy..." he looked to his teeth. They were really sharp but he really wanted them back sunk into his skin. He swallowed hard.

Murdoc bit his lip and nodded eagerly. "I would love nothing more than to sit with you and watch a movie." He kissed his neck again, over and over. "Although.... maybe not Nightmare Before Christmas now." He chuckled.

He grunted when Stuart put his full weight on him. He was trying hard to really control him. "You can touch me all you want." He said, letting out a shaky breath. He loved the teasing, whether intention of unintentional.

"Fuck, Stuart. I love you so much." He whispered, kissing his collarbone. "Your body is so fucking hot, I love touching it. I want to touch all of it, learn every part of it."

Stuart chuckled.... "Let's see something more romantic and not full of zombies or skeletons......" he said fondly. He loved his films but he could watch something different if Murdoc wanted.

Stuart hugged him when he listened he was loved. No matter how many times he heard it he always felt a bit warmer every time Murdoc told him that. He blushed hard. He didn’t think he was hot but oh well.... his boyfriend thought. it was enough for him. He was smiling from ear to ear. "and.... what's stopping you love....?" he said in a low tone "I'm all yours.... body and.... soul...." he said whispering and keeping him close. "Forever." He kissed under his ear.

Murdoc smiled and moans slightly from the ear kiss. He shivered. "Oh, love...... you are making me all kinds of crazy." He chuckled and ran his hands up and down his sides again.

To him, it sounded like Stuart was challenging him. He looked at him, made a playful biting motion with his teeth, snapping them together and smiling. Everything about the singer made him feel.... right.

He suddenly became determined and tickled the singer’s ribs and kissed him. "We are going to wash quickly and I am going to throw you on that bed and get acquainted with every inch of your body......" he got close to his ear and whispered, "with my tongue. How does that sound Bluebird?" He nibbled his ear.

Stuart chuckled with his tickles and his slow brain barely proceeded what happened. "oh, I'd love that.... I can return with my fingers if you want...." he said playfully tickling him back under the water, he knew how he was ticklish.

hHe moaned lowly when Murdoc came to his ear. "Please.... I want you.... I missed you...." he looked at him "Please just touch me anyway you please, Muds..." he rubbed his nose against his.


	42. After

Murdoc smirked and licked the singer’s lips. Then he pulled away and quickly started to wash both their hair. He was feeling too good to let it get ruined by actually taking a bath. When he finished he let the water drain and he picked up the singer, carrying him under his ass, having him wrap his long legs around his waist. He held the singer close, giggling himself.

He staggered to the door and slowly opened it. He peaked out to make sure there was no Noodle or Russ. When the coast was clear, he quickly walked back to the Winnie. They were both naked and Murdoc loved it. He wasn't embarrassed being like that, he did it fairly often, but he wasn't sure how the singer would be.

When they got to the Winnie, he went to his bed and practically collapsed onto the bed with the singer. He was laughing and breathing hard. He needed to catch his breath before continuing.

Stuart would ask what the fuck he was doing, but he was scared that yelling he would wake up the other two. When he noticed what Murdoc was about to do he covered his mouth and began chuckling red as a tomato. The only one who saw them he could tell was Cortez. He cawed from the distance.

Once inside the Winnie he couldn’t stop laughing "Are you completely outta your mind?" he said between pants. "I can’t believe you did that Mu’doc...." he said looking at him. Of course Stuart was ashamed but the adrenaline that came after was so good. He leaned closer kissing him.... "You’re insane...." he whispered pulling him to a deeper kiss not caring if Murdoc was still catching his breath. He was deeply in love with his crazy self. He hugged him pulling him close.

Murdoc laughed as the singer kissed him, panting a bit. When Stuart pulled back he smiled, "I'm outta my mind from love." He tried to say charmingly. The breathing hard like an old man out of shape made it much less charming.

He took a giant breath, "Christ.... I'm out of shape." He nuzzled into Stuart as the singer hugged him. He turned so he had his face into the singer’s neck. "I love you...." he whispered.

He squirmed in his grip a bit so he could move up and kiss his jaw and kissed his way down his neck again. He landed on his collarbone and kept himself from biting.

"Goddamnit," he growled. "I'm going to fuck you so hard and so long tomorrow, you won’t be able to walk for a week." He chucked.

Stuart laughed Of course Stuart wouldn’t be able to carry Murdoc around that way. "Totally...." he agreed taking a deep breath.

"I'm so in love with you...." he whispered back feeling his sweet kisses along his jaw and collarbone. He loved when Murdoc did that. "No one's complaining here love...." he said calmly "there's nothing i want more than you whole back...." he said honestly.

"But tonight " he held him by his shoulders "Let just set for movies, right?" he said sitting on the bed "I think that junk food I brought for the trip is still here somewhere.... and in your fridge must have your whiskey." he told him looking around

"Want to sleep here or in my room, Muds....?" he didn’t even remember about his tea so focused on Murdoc. He smiled to him adorably.

Murdoc smiled at the thought of whiskey. "If you poured me a glass of whiskey right now, I will do whatever you wanted, forever." He pleaded playfully. He was so desperate for a drink, but he didn't want to seem like it. Might worry Stuart.

"And I would love a movie. But we are already in here, might as well stay. I have a bunch of movies and my TV, might as well, yeah?" His stomach suddenly grumbled. He realized just how hungry he actually was. They hadn't eaten since this morning.

"We should watch land of the dead, what do you think?" He wanted a zombie movie because Stuart liked to cuddle and get scared during them, even if they weren't that scary. He looked up at the singer eagerly.

Stuart smiled seeing how Murdoc seemed interested. "Of course we can love...." he stood up and looked around for his own sweaters Murdoc left there and a clean underwear. It was hard but he eventually found it dressing himself.

He went to the fridge and grabbed the scotch. He didn’t really know if he wanted Murdoc drunk but oh well after all he lived he deserved it. He put a glass for him and took a tiny sip of it, grimacing a bit, he couldn’t understand how Murdoc liked something that strong. He contemplated the idea of getting drunk for a moment. But if he did he would want to shag immediately, not a good idea.

He went back giving Murdoc his drink and going to his TV to set the movie. Once the movie was set he looked around for food finding his snacks in a cupboard like he left them there. he smiled offering Murdoc. "Better now, my Blackbird....?" he wanted to spoil him the best he could. Murdoc lived a lot the last days. He opened the can of coke taking a sip and leaning against the Satanist wrapping an arm around him.

Murdoc took a big gulp of his alcohol, "Oh fuck, now I am Bluebird." He smiled and reveled at the feeling of the liquor burning his throat and warming his insides. He felt a calm wash over him. He leaned against Stuart to watch the movie. He grabbed a handful of some chex mix the singer had and shoving a bunch of it in his mouth.

He watched the movie and thought it was pretty interesting. The zombie seemed to be interest in helping the other zombies, but lacked a lot of the brain function to do so. Interesting. He laughed as the zombies ripped a guy apart. It was really gory. He laughed and nuzzled himself into Stuart's shoulder.

This was the life he never knew he wanted. He knew Stuart needed to be by his side. He knew the singer and him were meant for each other. They fit together like two puzzle pieces.

Stuart noticed how he was laughing at all that gore, it was Murdoc or the alcohol? He asked himself but soon joined him with laughing. He kissed his head a couple of times and was actually really happy Murdoc was enjoying something like watching a movie. He felt the luckiest guy on earth to have him.

He remembered his outburst and his words. Murdoc just wanted someone to see more than a drunk crazy bass player in him. Stuart wished Murdoc could see himself through his eyes. He was so precious, so important to him, he meant so much.... his laugh was like music for the singer.

He held him close not really paying attention to the movie, but enjoying his company and his little actions that showed he was happy with Stuart. He wanted his whole life ahead with him sharing all kinds of moments, good or bad.

He swore to himself that hour he would always keep that smile on his face. no matter what happened.

Murdoc drunkenly looked up at the singer, the sweetest smile on his face. He brought his hand up to caress his face, completely forgetting about the movie for a moment. He looked into Stuarts big, black eyes. "I love you.... more than you will ever know Stuart." He was slurring slightly, but he didn't care, "More than I can ever say. I love your tall, lanky body, you’re so skinny I can wrap you up in a big bear hug. I love your blue hair, your black eyes and your soft lips. Even that little gap in your teeth. I love it all." He booped his nose gently.

His eyes suddenly got a little teary, "I would do anything for you.... anything. I'm-I'm dead serious." He said. He was suddenly feeling a little emotional, thanks to all that's happened in such a short time that he has barely had any time to internalize, and the alcohol.

"How.... how do I even thank you Stu? How do I show you how much you mean to me?" He blinked and sniffled, looking at Stuart. He knew he'd be embarrassed later when he was sober, but he didn't care right now.

Stuart giggled. He forgot how Murdoc was terribly sweet and gentle when drunk. He loved that and loved the fact he was sober to hear him and not forget any of his words. He looked at him fondly. Even drunk he felt all those words were true. He smiled to his boop.

Soon Murdoc got emotional. Stuart couldn’t tell why but his heart ached a bit. He was quick to place Murdoc onto his lap. He didn’t care if it was embarrassing, he had already done things like that with him. He cupped his face with one hand and looked into his teary adorable eyes. His red one even shone more beautifully when wet.

"I know you'd do Muds......" he told him in a whisper. "I'm really glad for that, my love...." he played with a strand of his hair taking time doing it as he knew Murdoc liked his hands. "Stay." he told him "never leave me.... please...." he said honestly and kissed his forehead. "This way I'll always know how much I mean to you okay....?" he booped his nose back. "And you don’t need to thank me Muds.... I'm doing all this ‘cuz I love you. I really do." he whispered.

Murdoc blushed a bit at the singer putting him in his lap. He smiled sweetly and bit his lip, a sweet little fang hanging out. His eyes were still watery but he didn't care.

"I know little Songbird. And I-I hope you know I'm doing all this cause I love you too. I met your father and took a punch.... cause I love you. I met your mother, the sweetest woman in the world. I danced with you in your room cause I love you. I went to Stoke, hell on bloody earth because. I. Love. YOU." He said, emphasizing each word at the end.

"I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my time on this earth with you." He nuzzled their noses together. "You're stuck with me regardless." He chuckled.

"I l-love you with every fiber of.... of my being." He stammered, getting teary eyed again. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He growled at himself, hating how sentimental he was getting, but he couldn't help it.

He looked up at Stuart, a look of determination on his face. "You are MY singer, MY love." He whispered, bringing his hand up and caressing his hair gently.

Stuart listened to his words and froze in place.... He really loved him and this hit him hard when came from Murdoc's mouth. He nodded agreeing. the best to do know was agree to make the drunk Murdoc safe he would always have the singer, regardless what happened.

The singer noticed that tiny tear falling from his eye. Was he crying ‘cuz he loved him that much? Stuart bit his lip thinking about that. He wiped that tear and kissed his cheek tenderly. "Only. Yours." he agreed. He closed his eyes with his hand on his hair. He didn’t know Murdoc could get that sweet when drunk. Long time ago he got angry and destructive.

"I can't be no one else's, Muds.... I belong to you..." he whispered opening his eyes again with a little smile holding him close. he loved to feel how tiny Murdoc looked into his lap. he folded his legs so he was all between his long legs.

Murdoc felt so comfortable and safe in between his legs, he gave the biggest, sweetest smile to 2D. He felt nothing but love and peace at the moment, something he never experienced before. It was so delightful, he shivered.

"I'm so happy to hear that my little blueberry." He leaned forward and snuggled into his chest. "You're so tall!" He mumbled playfully. "How did you get so tall? Were you taller than you dad? I can't remember.... he kind of scared me." He chuckled, being honest. It wasn't necessarily being scared, he was more intimidated. Then he remember how Stuart had talked to his brother. He started giggling uncontrollably.

"You really told my brother off today." He looked up at the singer and gave him a big grin.

Stuart smiled hearing his drunk rambling.  "Oh I guess I'm taller than him yes.... When he was younger he told me he used to be even taller.... " he shrugged "I think it's a family thing. Be tall and scary..." He chucked.

In his darker thoughts, he thought that maybe Murdoc didn't grow up enough ‘cuz he was neglected by his father.... probably didn't eat well when he was in his growing age. Anyway he had the perfect height to the idiot singer.

He blushed hard when he started giggling. He sounded so drunk and so adorable "I did didn't I?" He chuckled back "I got tired of him asking about our sex life...." He snorted "Not of his business.... If he wants a man he should find himself one...." He winked to Murdoc.

Murdoc snorted, "oh, I don't think he'd ever sleep with a man, he's too proud for that." He looked down and played with the singer’s sweater, pulling at a piece of fabric. "Our dad didn't like gays. When he found out I liked men and women.... well, I'm sure you can imagine what he did, but I always thought it was ridiculous to limit oneself. Sex is amazing," he looked up at Stuart again with a smile plastering his lips once more, "Why should someone limit themselves? That's what I always said."

"But anyways, my brother took it the hardest I think. I think he experimented, but when he saw father blow up on me about it, he never wanted to truly try it. I was older and able to defend myself pretty well though, got a few good punches in." He smiled proudly. He didn't think his brother was gay, but he was probably curious. He didn't need to go about it that way though.

"I don't think he expected you to be so straight forward." Murdoc gave a little snicker, but then frowned, "when I thought he wanted to steal you from me, I was going to kill him." He gripped Stuart's sweater. "You're my Bluebird. Only I get the privilege of seeing your wings.... of petting them...." he nuzzled into his sweater. "Mine...." he whispered.

Stuart listened him talking. Now he could clearly remember how it was like Murdoc rambling when drunk. It was adorable.

"My.... parents had the reaction you saw love.... you were the first man they knew I was with.... And we'll you were really my first." He chuckled. In the beginning Stuart thought he would be just another quick shag to Murdoc ... then he turned into something more serious. Stuart was always limited not only into sex, but anything.

He nodded to Hannibal's part. Maybe curious he agreed. "I needed to be straight forward when I noticed he flirting with me, Muds.... I couldn't let him touch me... even if he was just teasing."  He looked down at him playing with his sweater. He patted his hair a little. "So I think you'd kill anyone who ever tried stealing me from you right?" He chuckled but sounded serious. Even thin and weak the would try to keep everyone away from Murdoc. He was his.

 He blushed to the Bluebird part, it was really lovely. "Don't worry love.... only you are able to be under my wings...." He said hugging him in a big bear hug.

Murdoc looked up at Stuart, curious. "Really? I know I was your first, but.... did you ever do anything else with a bloke? I think my first experience was at a party when I around 16. I was drinking and this guy offered me some molly. Once it kicked in, I think I made out with him...." he tried to remember, that was so long ago. He wasn't the biggest fan of ecstasy but it had been fun to try.

"But yes, I would definitely murder anyone that tried to take you away. You're my bird, you're not meant to be caged." He whispered. He chuckled when the singer put him in a big hug. He wrapped his arms around him and squeezed as well.

Then he giggled again, "I am your Blackbird and I wish I could say that I can't be caged, but my couple times being thrown into the slammer has proved otherwise." He joked and even Cortez cawed at that. He smiled and pet the singer’s hair. "I love you. You are my life...." he whispered.

The other experience he could remember was that not really pleasant with the guy who tried to rape him. After that even he getting into other guys he was just too traumatized to try anything. Murdoc was the first one he ever had the courage and trusted him enough to go ahead. Even a bit scared.

"No, Muds.... you were the first.... Really...." He told him with a sweet smile. "To everything." He wouldn't bring that topic in a sweet moment like this.

"My mom said once for me that love.... is having the opportunity to cage someone.... But when you put the bird into the cage and leaves the gate opened.... It doesn't fly.... it wanna stay even able to go away...." He told him a whisper caressing his face. "And I don't have any reason to go away, my Blackbird...." He whispered smiling to Murdoc.

Murdoc nodded, he knew Stuart had that bad experience, but he wondered if he ever got the comfort of someone to care about before Murdoc, of if he'd just been unknowingly waiting for the bassist.... just like the bassist had unknowingly waited to fall in love with his singer. He wished he could have been able to say Stu was his first. He'd been too fast and loose when he was young.

"Well.... you didn't miss much. At least you had me for your first time. My first time, the dumbshit tried to stick it in dry." He grimaced, still remembering. "I'd gotten high with a few of my drinking buddies and we got curious I suppose." He chuckled. They eventually figured it out, but it still hadn't been that fun. He was happy he was Stuart's first. He smiled, blushing like a happy idiot.

He nodded at Stuart's mother's description of love. "I like that.... your mother's a smart woman." He chuckled. "I hope that's always the case Bluebird. We are birds of a feather, yeah?" He kissed Stuart, gently.

Stuart looked at him sadly.... It was exacly what would happen to him if he didn't fainted. He kept caressing his face to wash his bad thoughts away. He knew Murdoc lived wild and free when younger.... But he didn't like to think about other people with him. It was a bit of unnecessary jealously and he knew that.

"She always wanted me not to be caged y'know? Mother stuff I guess.... bur I’m glad you were my first. I want you to be the first and last...." He chuckled "Even if we fly.... We'll do it together right....?" He grabbed his hand and gently kissed it. "And then come back home.... ‘cuz this is how it should be .... me and you...." he whispered.

Murdoc smiled at the singer, "You are completely correct Bluebird. You are mine and I am yours. Forever." He growled happily and bit his lip again.

He could feel himself getting tired. He leaned his head against the singer’s chest and nuzzled into it. "I promise to be yours, forever and always." He whispered. "I promise, okay?  As long as you want me...." he smiled. He wasn't usually this sentimental but, Christ he loved this kid. He wanted to scream it from the rooftops, even if he knew he wouldn't because that's just how he was.

Stuart noticed him a bit tired. He was getting tired as well.... He just let Murdoc ramble everything he needed much like he did before when Murdoc got drunk and talked non stop with the singer. He would just not and agree with him.

Slowly he turned off the movie that was already on the credits and went to lay down with the bassist "I want you Muds.... I really do...." He whispered "want to sleep with my honey....?" He asked sweetly "I can sing for you to sleep...." he offered. Even without sex the night finished happily.

Murdoc nodded and snuggled into the singer. "Yes, please. Please sing.... I love when you sing...." he mumbled tiredly. His eyelids felt heavy, and he felt warm and safe in the singer’s arms. He could understand now why people did this. Being smaller finally had it's advantages. He chuckled.

He wanted to fall asleep, but he wanted to wait for the singer to start singing sweet songs to him. He'd lay awake for days just to hear it. If he ever stopped hearing it, he knew he would be heartbroken...... he pushed those nasty thoughts away. He needed to enjoy his time with the singer. He reached up and held one of his hands.

Stuart shifted positions so he could place Murdoc on his chest and his long bony arm around him. when he held his hand he chuckled and kissed it. then kissed his forehead.

As they were talking so much about birds, Stuart chose another song that wasn’t Gorillaz' was Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird. He found it more...... Appropriate for the moment.

 

_I leave here tomorrow_

_Would you still remember me?_

_For I must be traveling on, now_

_Cause there's too many places I've got to see_

_But, if I stayed here with you, girl_

_Things just couldn't be the same_

_Cause I'm as free as a bird now_

_And this bird you can not change...... oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh_

He sung with his soft voice in a much slower pace, as it was a lullaby. he smiled all the time he sung.... kissing his face, lifting to kiss his eyes.... waiting him to fell asleep into his arms. Murdoc looked so vulnerable now.... he couldn’t wait to the shooting tomorrow.

Murdoc snuggled into the singer’s chest, getting comfortable. He heard the singer start to sing Free Bird. It was a wonderful choice, he loved Lynyrd Skynyrd. The boy sounded like an angel.... his angel.

He gripped the singer’s sweater as he slowly fell asleep. He fell asleep, dreaming of Stuart with wings as blue as his hair. When he went to touch them, they were soft. He touched the ends as Stuart spread them out to their full length. They almost looked too big for the skinny boy. He ran his hands over them slowly as he made his way towards the singer. The wings were protruding from his back. Murdoc could see the muscles straining to hold them up. He ran his hands delicately over the muscles.

Stuart was beautiful, as usual. He didn't want to stop touching him. He felt if he did, Stuart would fly away.... but he needed to let him. He knew that too. He knew those wings weren't meant to stay hidden.

He took his fingers off Stuart. The boy turned and looked at him, then gave him the biggest grin. Murdoc smiled back. Stuart turned around, almost tipping over from the weight of his wings. He grabbed Murdoc and wrapped him into a hug, wrapping his giant wings around them as well. Murdoc snuggled into Stuart.

"I love you Stuart...." he whispered in his dream and in his sleep. He gripped Stuart's sweater.

Stuart noticed that this time Murdoc should be dreaming of something pleasant, due to the size of his smile. He blushed hearing he loved him even sleeping. Last sleeps they had weren’t that good. He smiled and kissed his forehead "I love you too Mu’doc" he whispered back to him, after going to his pills to take some and be ready for the recording next day. This time Stuart had a dreamless sleep but he was glad he was with Murdoc.

He pulled him close protectively wrapping his arms around him, like his wings. Murdoc was so little. He chuckled after drifting into sleep.


	43. Dirty Harry

Murdoc woke up slowly the next morning. He had to wait a moment before finally feeling his limbs, he slept hard. His mouth was wet and he realized he had drooled on the singer. He felt his arms wrapped around him. He smiled wide.

He knew the singer was sleeping still, he could hear his steady breathing. He gripped his shirt. This was what it was like to wake up with your loved one. He wanted to wake up like that every day.

He looked up at the singer, his mouth partially open as he slept. He looked adorable. He lifted himself up slightly and kissed his lips. "Bluebird." He whispered.

Stuart had an amazing sleep that night. Normally he would shift a lot positions till he find a comfortable one. But each time he tried do move he felt how Murdoc was comfortable and couldn’t do it. He usually slept hard after drinking. Stuart was starting to think that he could eventually be drunk and it wasn’t gonna be a problem at all. The singer would be happy to deal with the emotional lovely drunk Murdoc.

Stuart was whistling while sleeping due to the gap of his teeth when he suddenly felt a mouth over his. He smiled wide hearing his nickname.

"Blackbird" he whispered back opening his void eyes looking at him fondly. He placed his hand on the one that was gripping his shirt lifting it and kissing it each finger separately and looking at him. Stuart noticed the small pool of drool on him and giggled. He was glad Murdoc slept well, he dealt with too much recently.

Murdoc smiled and bit his lip. "You ready for today?" He asked. He lifted himself up so he was straddling the singer’s waist. He forgot he'd still been naked from last night, which made him laugh.

He looked down at the droop spot, "Oops.... haha sorry love. I slept so well.... I slept really well.... I dreamt about you, actually." He smiled, suddenly remembering the dream. "You had big blue wings...... they were lovely...." he whispered, looking to either side of the singer, as if he could still see them.

Stuart giggled and smiled "I'm ready my love are you....?" He didn't care about that pool. He wanted Murdoc rested so they could "party" later.

He run his fingers through his hair. "Oh you did? So I was an angel....?" He asked with a lovely smile on his face. He didn't care if Murdoc was straddling on him. He was warm, he could stay whole day like that.

Murdoc smiled, "You were an angel.... you are an angel." He said looking at Stuart. He leaned down and gave him the softest, sweetest kiss. "My angel." He whispered when he pulled away.

He gave the singer one more smile and hopped off of him and stood up next to the bed. He stretched and yawned. He felt fantastic, only a slight headache but he would be fine. He turned back to the singer, a coy smile on his face.

"Don't forget my promise for tonight love. We are going to be aching tonight." he snorted. He had to look for his uniform he was going to wear for the shoot.

Stuart sat down feeling immensely rested. He nodded to the Satanist "of course we are...." he agreed thinking about him being an angel. He giggled softly.

He stood up slowly and stretched himself "Love, my clothes are in my bedroom, I'll wait for you to get ready so we can go there...." he said softly heading to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He looked to himself for some moments and felt amazing.... he had smaller round circles around his eyes and looked less pale. Even a bit pinky in the face. He giggled. Murdoc was making him someone better. He took some of his pills too.

Murdoc nodded, digging through his clothes. 'Okay Stu. I think I found them." He mumbles as he pulled out the outfit. He put it on, grinning wide as he did so. He liked this outfit, he thought it made him look sharp.

He turned to Stu when he came out of the bathroom. He noticed Stuart looked more healthy than usual. "Ah Stuart, you look good today. Glad to see that!" He smiled, then posed a bit. "How do I look?"

Stuart's eyes widened and he let fall his toothbrush for a moment "you look damn hot Mu’doc...." he said grabbing his hand and make him turn around for the singer to admire. "Now I think I just discovered I have a kink in uniformed men" he chuckled trying to make him smile too.

"Not man actually, only you...." he winked to him "You look amazing, love...." he said fondly. "I could shag you right now...." he smiled slyly... "Let’s finish this quick shall we?"

Murdoc grinned from ear to ear. "Well.... Let’s finish quick then, when we finish, you can tear these off of me, yeah?" He chuckled. He grabbed the singer’s hand and pulled him out of the Winnie and walked with him to his room.

"You're shirtless, so we need to sunblock the hell out of you, you know? Otherwise, no shagging because you won't be able to move." He squeezed his hand. If he didn't remember, Stuart probably wouldn't.

"Or I'll faint from sunstroke...." he giggled. It had already happened once when he was younger his mother helped him, he was really sensitive to sunburn.

Stuart went into his room looking for his clothes. Just boots, a trouser, his gloves and a helmet. He decided he would put it only at the recording place. He grabbed the sunblock "Can you rub my back love....?" It was an odd moment and a sweet asking he wasn’t expecting to do with anyone, much less Murdoc.

Murdoc smiled again. "Sure." He had 2D take his shirt off. He squeezed a whole mess of the lotion onto his hands and then rubbed the singer’s back. He rubbed the lotion over every inch. He took more time that he probably needed, but he was enjoying rubbing the singer down.

He turned him towards him and put more on his hands and started rubbing down his chest and shoulders as well. He stood on the balls of his feet and kissed the singer as his hands went down and played with the singer’s nipples. He slipped a tongue into the singer’s mouth.

Stuart shivered. He knew Murdoc wouldn’t only pass it. He would try something else. He knew well his boyfriend. He opened his mouth allowing Murdoc to kiss him while a low moan escaped his lips when he pinched his nipples. He loved that.

His hands cupped his face and he kissed him a bit harder pulling his hips forward. now he was a bit needier. "Oh fuck how I didn’t want to wait till later, Muds.... I don’t wanna deal with bloody kids... I want you...." he pouted sounding childish and ridiculous. Even if recording was something he loved doing with Murdoc, he really preferred now stay in and shag...... he caressed his cheek with his thumbs. The Satanist wasn’t making it any easier.

Stuart was really starting to put "stay with Murdoc" beyond anything he liked doing. It sounded like without Murdoc wouldn’t be nice.

Murdoc smirked at making the singer needy. He pulled away from him, "would you like a parting gift? Because I'm such a merciful boyfriend...." he winked and chuckled. "Stand still and try not to move. Don't want to dirty the outfit."

He kissed the singer’s neck and slowly kissed down his chest, taking a moment to kiss each nipple, then continued to kiss down to his navel. When he reached his pants he undid just the top and pulled them down enough to release his cock.

He smiled and licked the tip, the just put the whole thing in his mouth. He quickly and sloppily moved back and forth, working his tongue around it and massaging it. A few times he took it deeper held it for a moment. Then he pulled back, gasping slightly, but then continued. His hands held tight onto the singer’s thighs.

Stuart wasn’t expecting for that...... he was just joking but Murdoc took things way too seriously, something he enjoyed the most, he smiled at that. He forced himself to stand and not move. But it was hard for him as he was tall and clumsy. Murdoc wasn’t helping either with that damned tongue of his.

He looked down biting his lip. Murdoc looked amazing in that bloody hot outfit and blowing him? He wouldn’t last long. His hand held the bassist's offering a bit of support if Murdoc needed. He was half-mast but in some seconds he was already hard. "Muds.... your mouth is so fucking good...." he whispered holding the urge to move his hips forward.

Murdoc smiled and looked up at the singer, his cock in his mouth. He pulled back all the way, took a deep breath and slowly moved towards the singer, his dick going slowly down his throat the entire way. When he was all the way at the end, he choked a bit, but held him there. He swallowed a few times so the singer could feel his throat close around him.

He pulled back then, when he knew the singer was close. He used his tongue to curl around Stuart's cock. He wanted him to cum in his mouth to tease the singer further. His hand came up and helped stroke near the base. He could tell the singer was struggling not to move and he loved it.

Stuart covered his mouth with one of his hands. he couldn’t moan loud.... who knows if Noodle or Russel were looking for them? Oh no, the thought of being caught took the best of him. And Murdoc didn’t help either swallowing him that way.

With that hand stroking him near the base he couldn’t hold any longer. he cum shamefully fast but everything was just overwhelming.... he felt it was so hot seeing Murdoc swallowing his cum. for a moment the thought of taking off his mouth from his came, but he couldn’t do it....  he bent over a bit holding his shoulder looking for support. his face was a lovely shade of pink and he was panting with a large smile.... "Fuck, love.... you're the best...." he said closing his eyes.... "Thank .... you...." Feel a bit needy sometimes wasn’t that bad at all.

That was the best way to pass sunblock he could remember.

Murdoc smiled when he felt Stuart cum in his mouth. He could feel it spill onto his tongue. He held it there and opened his mouth, showing his cum roll around on his tongue as he looked straight into Stuart's eyes. He was being a tease, he loved to tease the singer.

Then he kept looking at the singer as he swallowed it. He helped put Stuart away and his pants back up, then he stood up, smirking. "You taste amazing Bluebird...." he pulled him close and pushed his hips into the singer’s. He wanted to show he was hard as well, but he didn't mind waiting. The long game was fun for him.

Stuart focused into not fall down for a moment. He smiled with his compliment. "I have.... to say the same.... about you.... Muds...." he said panting with a smile.

When he came and showed him how hard he was Stuart shivered but felt a bit bad he would left him that way. Murdoc tasted amazing too and it wasn’t fair. "I owe you one" he promised winking and leaned closer pulling him for a deep kiss grabbing his collar. He shoved his tongue into his mouth like the nasty little Bluebird he was. "You... Better control yourself in the shooting, my love, children shouldn’t see this..." he pointed to his tent chuckling after breaking the kiss.

Murdoc smirked and loved that the singer stuck his tongue in his mouth. He moaned a bit. "Oh yeah, you definitely owe me. I'll be fine. Just uh...." he laughed nervously. "Give me a moment, yeah?" He shifted pants a bit.

After a few moments, he felt like it'd gone down a bit and he stood up straight. "You're lucky you're so goddamn cute love." He said, giving the singer his shirt back in case he wanted to put it on.

He grabbed his hand and made sure to bring sunblock as they walked out to go find Noodle and Russel. He held his hand tightly. He felt so fucking happy, nothing could ruin this day.

He found Noodle having breakfast in the kitchen. "Where's Russ?" He asked, sitting down at the table with Stuart next to him. Noodle looked up from her cereal to the two lovebirds. She smiled wide. "Sleeping." She replied.

Stuart giggled "I promise I'll be cute frying under the sun just for you...." he said joking and poking his nose before taking his shirt. He put it back and grabbed his helmet too.

He followed Murdoc to the kitchen holding his hand. After so much time with just Murdoc he almost forgot about the others.... The singer was really giving him full attention at this point. He smiled fondly to Noodle "Morning, Noods...." he greeted her politely. She seemed really happy for them both. It made his heart flutter with joy. He sat down.

"Oh, and when is the shooting.... ?" he asked if Russel was late while passing sunblock on his face.

"It is this afternoon when we leave." She answered. Murdoc looked up at the clock on the wall. It was only 9 in the morning. He nodded and leaned forward. Noodle seemed to be preoccupied by her game system so he decided to mess with her.

He looked over at Stuart and winked and smiled. He slowly reached his hand out and got a hold on her bowl of cereal. He stopped when she suddenly yelled at her game in Japanese. He continued to pull it towards him until it was close enough for him to take a bite of it with the spoon. He felt successful, so he kept eating.

Noodles reached for her cereal where it used to be and stopped when she couldn't find it... She looked up suddenly and saw Murdoc had stolen it. She frowned and let out a little growl, similar to how Murdoc does. Murdoc smirked.

She suddenly yelled in Japanese and threw her game at him, hitting him in the head, knocking his hat off. He grunted after it hit him and looked up laughing. He suddenly stopped when Noodle started to get up.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry!" He yelled as he quickly got up and ran out of the room, Noodle following close behind.

Stuart just watched his boyfriend being a prick. How could that man be the same as previously was blowing him? He shook his head.

Stuart laughed when Murdoc was hit. He pointed at him. When he started running he knew he would be screwed. But not much, he was her favorite of them. It would be much easier if Murdoc just made a bowl of cereal for him.

He went to the fridge to eat something. He felt a bit hunger now after cumming. He looked into it and decided to make himself waffles with lots of chocolate syrup. He would need a lot of energy today to be under the sun recording.

While making them he remembered how he was tired after the last shooting. Well at least there weren't gonna be more birds.... and he could deal with snotty kids. He chuckled alone. He decided to make Murdoc some too, thinking he might be hungry too.

As Murdoc was running, he thought he got away from his guitarist, but he was suddenly knocked forwards by a heavy force. He fell straight on his face and let out a loud groan. Whatever hit him was still sitting on his back. He tried to move it off him to get up but he was forced back down. It was Noodle on his back.

"Argh! Noodle I'm sorry!! I was just playing! Argh!" He cried out as Noodle took his left arm and pulled it and held it behind his back. He was stuck. If he squirmed she pulled on it hard. Tears formed in his eyes from the pain.

She was yelling at him in Japanese, nothing he could understand. He heard chuckling and looked up to see Russel. He must have gotten up to eat breakfast.

"What'd you do now?" Russel asked, admiring how Noodle pinned him so easily.

"I ate her cereal! Ach! Noodle!" He yelled as she pulled on his arm again.

"Russel just laughed and shook his head. "Dumbass." He walked passed them and ruffled Noodles hair as he walked by. He walked into the kitchen and found 2D making food.

"How you doing D? He asked, sitting at the table.

Stuart was focused into his waffles when Russel came "Oh morning Russ... " he said with a smile " I'm fine.... a bit tired of the travel but.... ready to the video today...." He said placing the first waffle on a plate. "How are you and Noodle....?" He asked back in an amazing mood.

Russel noticed the singer’s mood. "We're doing good. Had fun together. The usual. I'm more interested on how your trip went. I don't think I've ever seen you in such a good mood D. You're making food and you're ready for a video shoot? Normally you don't eat and you're never ready for a video shoot. You're usually too drugged out...." he said carefully, sitting back in his chair.

Meanwhile Murdoc had tears streaming down his face from the pain of Noodle twisting his arm. He was saying anything he could think of to appease the young girl.

"I'm sorry love, I'll buy you a new cereal!! O-or a I'll uh, buy you new clothes!" She twisted his arm again. "Okay okay! A new guitar!" She paused then let up on his arm.

"Deal." She said, getting up and going to her room, smiling. Murdoc just lay there trying to get feeling in his arm back.

Stuart blushed a bit. Even Russel noticed he was better. He kept making his waffles "well Russ..." He looked around to see if anyone was hearing. He could hear Murdoc shouts from the distance "Muds makes me happy y'know? That's why I'm not popping pills anymore and.... Why I woke up early this morning and.... why I'm making waffles for us..." Murdoc liked to make sure Stuart was eating. He liked that care.

He smiled to himself "we managed to meet his family Russ.... first his brother that we knew it was in stoke.... by the way that was the place where he took me to.... and then after we discovered his mother is alive. And she has a husband and twin boys that are our fans.... " he chuckled "They might come here or to the shooting today.... Muds invited them...." He was adding the chocolate on them

 "It was a great experience Russ.... for both of us." He looked at him smiling. "I'm even more in love with him and.... his family is adorable." He sat down facing him "it was really hard for him.... but I'm glad I could help him out.... he's more.... than this prick drunk bastard everyone sees...." He shrugged. "At least for me." He told him honestly serving himself a waffle. "Muds is drinking much less and it's much more patient with things.... so I guess I'm not the only one improving here...."

Russel nodded, listening to Stuart. He was happy for him, but still cautious. "I'm happy for you D. It does look like he's improving, as are you. I gotta say, I'm impressed with what you've been able to do with that man."

"And did you say his family? He has a family? And he even invited them here to a shooting?" He looked at 2D, shocked.

Murdoc eventually got up and made his way back to the kitchen, grumbling. His shoulder hurt now, as did his forehead where he hit it. Thankfully he'd be wearing a hat today, he was sure he'd bruise.

He came into the kitchen and grumpily sat down. He saw the bowl of cereal he'd left and started eating it again, a glare on his face. "I'll eat this fuckin cereal now." He grumbled.

Stuart nodded to Russel "yeah.... I dunno if they're coming but...." He shrugged. "only his mother is blood related with him, the others at all half. His father is dead and they're all half brothers" he clarified before Murdoc entered the room.

He noticed Murdoc coming back and shook his head. He knew he shouldn't mess with Noodle. He kept eating his waffles trying not to laugh. He would help him eventually later. Better not make fun of his condition now. " Did she get you Muds...?" He asked curiously holding back a laugh

"No! I let her get me......" he snarled, taking in another spoonfull of cereal. It was so wet and soggy now, it wasn't good. Russel snickered and he ignored him. He frowned at Stuart.

"You.... what are you eating?" He brought his finger over to the edge of the singer’s plate and wiped up some of the chocolate sauce. He brought it back and licked his finger.

"Chocolate? Really?" He smiled deviously, hatching a plan for later. "You like chocolate Stu?"

"Of course I do Muds....you know how I'm crazy about sweets...." He frowned, his slow brain not processing the evident lewd tone of voice Murdoc was using. "Want some? I made more than enough for me...." He offered seeing that Murdoc wasn't really interested in his cereal.

And even if he got the idea in front of Russel wasn't a good idea flirting.

Murdoc smiled sweetly at the singer, "Would you be able to fix me up a plate my love? I would be forever in your debt." He cooed. He was laying it on thick but his arm hurt and his back, so he didn't want to get up to do it.

Russel shook his head, "Man, he is not your slave. Get it your damn self." Murdoc glared at him.

"But Stuart makes the best." He whined. He play pouted at Stuart. "Please?" He pleaded. Russel just shook his head. He really didn't want to think that Murdoc only ever was nice to get things from Stuart, but it was hard for him to imagine otherwise.

Stuart looked at Russ smirking.... Muds looked adorable "obviously Russ, Muds isn't in condition now to serve himself anything ‘cuz our 15 year old little girl probably beat the shit outta him......" He teased laughing and putting some waffles for him together with a fork and a bit of chocolate and offering the chocolate syrup so Murdoc could put the amount he wanted.

"Plus he's old.... so will take a time to heal...." He winked to him. "He asked so nicely pouting.... how could I say no to that?" He chuckled standing up and kissing him on the lips going to the sink to wash his plate. His own lips were dirty with chocolate so he knew it was a sweet kiss.

He noticed how Murdoc didn't snap on Russel or cursed him. He acted so nice he deserved a kiss.

Murdoc growled a bit at his comments. He wanted to give a witty comment about how Stuart didn't think he was old the other night when he made him cum twice but with Russ there he didn't want to embarrass the singer.

He put a little bit of chocolate on his waffles and enjoyed the chocolate kiss. He smiled at the singer and held his tongue. He'll punish him later. He started eating and actually ate quick. He hadn't realized how hungry he actually was.

When he was near done, suddenly they heard the doorbell ring. Murdoc remembered his brothers might be coming over and wondered if that was actually them. He looked at Stuart, a little nervous.

Stuart frowned while drying his hands. His slow brain didn't even remembered about his brothers. "Want me to answer, love?" He asked looking at him and Russ. And the band was his and well whole Kong too it was better for him to open the door. He looked at him fondly.

Murdoc nodded and stood up slowly. Russel watched him with an eyebrow raised. Murdoc walked towards the living room with the door. Before he got there though, he realized someone had already opened the door. It was Noodle who did.

He walked into the living room and was greeted by the twins with Noodle looking at the curiously. She looked at Murdoc.

"They say they know you Murdoc?" She asked, walking to him. Murdoc nodded and greeted the men.

"Welcome gentlemen! This is Kong Studios! I'm so happy you could make it! This is Noodle, our guitarist and little monster -ah!-" he cried out as she punched his arm hard. He rubbed his arm. "Sorry I was only teasing...." he grumbled.

He pointed to Russel, "This is Russel, our drummer. And you met 2D." He smiled at the men, hoping they weren't disappointed. He looked around. "No Abigail......?" He asked cautiously.

Roberto and Raul laughed seeing how Noodle was strong for her age and height. Stuart waved to them politely coming closer Murdoc with a smile.

"Hello everyone I'm Raul and this is my brother Roberto...." He said to everybody "yeah Noodle, we know Murdoc, we're the sons of his mother...." He clarified.

He walked to the bassist "our mother..." He said including Murdoc . "couldn't make it here today Murdoc.... she kinda had an argument with our father and decided to stay taking care of the restaurant.... but she sent you a big hug and wished good luck in the recording.” Raul said politely not really explaining much of what happened. Stuart looked at him apologetically.

"But she hopes to see you soon in the wedding...." Roberto said happily. Murdoc was more than welcomed into these family meetings "Or to lunch with us a when your really busy popstar agenda allows you...." He chuckled.

Raul came closer him saying in a low tone “She explained us why you both were there yesterday...." He placed a hand on his shoulder "Welcome to the family, brother." he said honestly. Stuart smiled even wider.

Murdoc's eyes widened at the welcoming nature of the two brothers. His mouth dried and he smiled. He didn't even know what to say. When he didn't say anything, Noodle elbowed him in the ribs, hard. He snapped out of his state and growled at her, she just giggled.

He looked back at the twins, "R-really?" He whispered. He looked between them. They didn't seem disappointed or upset at all and it warmed his heart.

"Wait...." Russel started, "You're.... all related? You don't really look like Murdoc at all. How do you know?" Russel wasn't the biggest fan of Murdoc, but he was still his friend and he wanted to make sure this was serious and not a prank to get money from a gullible and vulnerable bassist.

Stuart smiled to him fondly. He was surprised too that they were this welcoming, . He couldn’t help but think about the argument they mentioned.... Was it bad? Did her husband didn’t like the idea? Maybe they could do something together to introduce everyone.... He looked at Murdoc. maybe he was a bit unlucky with fathers in general. But Let’s not think bout this now. he placed a hand on his shoulder rubbing it.

"Really" Roberto told him firmly. "You're welcome in our family that's your family too I mean." for them was totally wrong kicking out Murdoc from it especially ‘cuz he was their idol. They had a brother and favorite famous person in the same guy. But well they talked in the trip to Essex about that. Even if Murdoc was no one, they would welcome him. Abigail told them the truth and asked them if they wanted Murdoc around or not. They accepted, raised up to be forgiving people by her. They forgave her and would try to understand Murdoc. she mentioned his breakdown.

Raul leaned a bit closer to Russel "Mr. Hobbs...... Our father isn’t his father." he opened his wallet and showed him a family picture. "But our mom is the same person, that's why we don’t look much like Murdoc...." he pointed to the people on the photo. "She had our brother when she was sixteen and had to give him to his father raise ‘cuz she was a minor, that's why our difference of age. But yeah we're related." he explained him softly. there was no document that could prove Murdoc was the son of Abigail.... only her words. He had no birth document, he just hoped Russel believed them.

Russel looked from Murdoc to Roberto and Raul then to the picture. Russel took a closer look at the photo. Then he looked to Murdoc.

"It's true, Russel. She was young...." He whispered. He understood why Russel was worried and he appreciated it. He didn't think the drummer cared about him at all.

Murdoc looked at the twins. "Thanks guys.... let me and 2D show you around, yeah? We still have a bunch of time before we left." He smiled and looked at Stuart. He was still nervous to be completely alone with them. He didn't want to completely disappoint them and Stuart was his better half.

Russel shrugged and looked at Noodle, who was smiling as well. He nodded to her and they went to go get ready and leave the brothers and Stuart alone

Stuart started to following them holding Murdoc's hand after giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek. He wouldn't tell much just waiting Murdoc to say about his kingdom. He was there just to help if he needed. He smiled to Russel thanking him for caring about Murdoc silently.

"Wow.... this place is huge.... we saw it from the outside...." Raul said looking around. They looked like 2 child in a park.

"Why did you chose here to buy? I mean it's such a huge place for 4 people...." Roberto asked looking at the couple. He found them totally adorable. Reminded him of himself and his own boyfriend when they got together.

Murdoc squeezed Stuart's hand as they showed them around the studio. He felt great being able to show his brothers around with Stuart by his side. He didn't show them his loveshack on wheels but showed them the rest of the place.

"Well.... I wanted a place that we could all spread out but also record. Mainly I wanted something cheap. When I came to talk to the owners they just threw the keys at me and ran. The place is haunted so it makes sense I suppose."

He brought them to the recording studio part. He picked up El Diablo and smiled at them. "This is El Diablo, I got her from Beelzebub himself. She's a real beauty isn't she?" He ran his hand over her neck.

"She goes well with Stuart's voice here.... oh I can't wait till you get a chance to see it. We'll even do a practice run for you guys when we get done." he smiled at them then at Stuart. He seemed to forget that the twins might not quite be okay or be understanding of the whole Satanist thing. He was just too excited, especially with Stuart around.

Raul and Roberto looked at everything in amusement. Stuart felt happy he could join them in this moment.

"Haunted?" Roberto repeated "Oh maybe is the cemetery around here.... pretty cheap huh....?" He joked.

When they looked at so Diablo they were mesmerized, it was even redder than what they saw on the television. "It's gorgeous, Murdoc...." Raul said not even touching it "I wish I could play something...." he chuckled. None of them played instruments.

His mother warned about the Satanist thing. They weren't that religious so they respected Murdoc's choice.

Stuart nodded "Yeah we can do it.... you'll like the recording, but I must say it's a desert and you might melt a little....it's tiring after many hours" he warned both boys.

"Oh no problem! We're ready for anything.... it's a chance in one million that we're having" Roberto chuckled and elbowed his brother playfully "thank you guys for allowing us to come along. We promise we won't disturb you...." Abigail told both of them to behave.

Murdoc grinned from ear to ear. He felt like a child. He loved to showcase his success to anyone that'd listen, but this was also his family now. People, who weren't his band, whose opinion he actually cared about.

"We will, of course, have tents and even our bus that you can comfortably sit in if you get too hot, yeah?" He nodded. He stood up and put the bass around his shoulder with the strap. Might as well keep hold of her now.

He looked at the boys, "I, uh.... really appreciate you guys coming. It means a lot.... I know we're a little.... odd, I suppose. And I'm glad it doesn't freak you guys out." He grabbed Stuart's hand. He walked them back to the living room, where Noodle and Russel were waiting in their outfits for the shoot.

"I suppose we should get going yeah?" He said looking at his bandmates.

Roberto chuckled "Naaah we like what's odd I guess...." he didn't really care. He was happy knowing there were more people for them to care about.

They both followed Murdoc ready for the shooting. The adorable dolt with a huge smile on his face. He nodded to Murdoc gently and waited for further instructions grabbing his helmet and gloves. "Ready when you are. "

Murdoc nodded and had everyone get into the bus. They had a driver that would help take them to the area they were recording. Apparently they'd see all the kids there.

As they drove Murdoc talked with the twins about all kinds of things, learning all about them. They were good kids. It sucked they were so much younger than him, being closer to Stuart's age. When they asked about him, he was truthful but slightly vague. He wasn't quite as open about everything with them as he was with Stuart.

When the reached where they were recording, they all got off. Murdoc, Noodle and Russel would get in the vehicle that they needed to take to another location to start so they could be seen driving to find Stuart. Therefore, Stuart would stay with all the kids and the twins while the three band mates loaded into the vehicle. Romye Robinson, or Bootie Brown, was also there to sing later.

Murdoc gave Stuart a quick kiss behind the bus before leaving with Noodle and Russel, "Good luck, love." He said with a smile. "Try not to burn." He laughed. It was hot in the desert and Murdoc was already sweating in his hot uniform.

Stuart loved hearing about them.... they seemed like him when younger if he wasn't that overprotected by his parents. Abigail sounded a lovely mother too. He believed she really gave them all the love she couldn’t give Murdoc.

He smiled to how they were open and noticed Murdoc wasn't as much as he was with him. It was understandable though. Maybe with time he would feel okay to talk to them about everything. Stuart thought there was no way their relationship wouldn't work out. He could see that hour how Murdoc seemed happy with his family even a bit late. That warmed his heart. He wanted his boyfriend happy

Stuart kissed him back sweetly "good lucky for us, Muds...." he whispered to him "I won't. . Love you...." he waved goodbye to him seeing that everyone would melt that day.

He stood in the place surrounded by children And sand melting with his keyboard waiting for further explanations. He had already taken off his shirt. On it, there was something like a gun but he didn't dare to ask what was that to the director.

The director told Stuart all about what he was needing to do. Essentially, it was supposed to look like they had been stranded when their plane crashed. Stuart is stuck with the kids and the others are trying to find him. He needs to shoot the flare gun, and then keep the kids spirits up by playing his keyboard, singing, and dancing. He told him the kids would sing with him.

On a walkie-talkie he went over with the others what was needed. They would see the flare and drive towards them to save the. When they got there, they'll pause the recording to go over the rest.

Murdoc replied back that they understood. He nodded to Noodle and Russel. "You guys ready?" He smiled as they both nodded. He hoped Stuart would be okay. He was sure he would be fine, but he still worried.

Stuart nodded to his explanations placing his helmet and gloves in place. He winked to Murdoc quickly "Ready". He smiled.... he never had the opportunity to shoot with a gun. It was a flare one but oh well. He felt happy as those children with the opportunity.

He placed himself in front of the keyboard, gun in hand and he smiled to the children. He was happy he didn't find him odd or were scared of him. He wanted for the director's signal.

The director gave the signal and the three in the armored vehicle a few miles away were alerted. When they saw the flare, they started driving towards it over the sand dunes.

Noodle was smiling. She was excited to be able to open the hatch on the roof and look out while Russel drove. She watched where they were driving and Murdoc went up as well. He was in a hatch behind Noodle.

Murdoc was hot in the sun. He was sweating, even with the vehicle they were in bring air conditioned. He wasn't sure how Noodle didn't look hot and he was sure Stuart was too. He didn't care about the kids at all, he was sure they were taken care of fine.

Stuart heard the signal. He shoot with his gun up and smiled playing with his keyboard laughing and singing with the kids. They looked fine and having fun.

It was hot and he was sweating too, he could feel the sunblock melting.... but he felt like frying and the helmet wasn't helping. He smiled all the time wondering in how much time they would arrive to him and the children. Looking around for the vehicle.

There were gonna be another takes? Or just one? God they would melt this way. He was worried about Murdoc into that outfit. And could kill for a glass of water now.

When the vehicle arrived and stopped in front of Stuart, the director yelled cut. They were able to use that footage. Murdoc slammed open the back of the vehicle. He was sweating and soaked, but he was more worried about Stuart. He walked over to the singer and dragged him over to one of the tented areas where his brothers were sitting. There were fans and misters in there, keeping everyone cool. There were also tons of bottles of cold water.

He had Stuart sit and grabbed them both a towel and a bottle of water. "Drink. I'll put more sunblock on you after." He demanded as he handed the boy a bottle and put a towel on his neck. He looked over at Raul and Roberto.

"How are you two doing?" He said, as he took a drink from his own bottle. He looked out to noticed the director was ushering all the kids into a different cooling tent.

Stuart followed him to where he was taking him. He was tired. It was good a small pause between takes. There was still the rap part to record and the end.

"Jesus Christ" he said smiling and grabbing a bottle to throw on his head wetting his hair. He shook his head wetting around him. He goofly smiled with a pink shade on his cheeks from sunburn. He looked adorable yet sexy. He nodded to the sunblock "Thanks Muds...."

Raul and Roberto looked worried to both  of them "we're good but are you ? It's really hot...." Roberto said looking at Stuart he was already getting a bit tanned "we're having fun, 2d with those kids it was a really nice idea.... did you like the tank idea, brother?" Raul smiled grabbing a bottle of water to himself.

They were over the moon taking part into that footage. They didn't care about sun or hot.

Murdoc froze at him saying brother so nonchalantly. He almost forgot to talk. "Uh... um, yeah! I like it, it's a pretty easy part. Stuart here has to dance. It was his idea I believe." He laughed and wondered if the singer regretted it now.

Noodle came over with Russel and laughed at Stuart. "2D, you are burning." She laughed. She pressed a hand into his burned skin and pulled away, watching the hand print turn from white to red.

"Ooh, that's rough, D. Murdoc might have to rub some aloe on you later. I'm sure Murdoc wouldn't mind taking care of you and your every needs." Russel teased. He was curious if Murdoc would actually take care of Stuart when he needed it.

Murdoc growled, "What, you think I wouldn't? If Stuart needed pampering or whatever, I'll do it. Gladly." He huffed and crossed his arms, offended Russel would even think such a thing.

Noodle giggled and grabbed a water bottle and drank from it as Russel did the same. "Do you guys think I would just leave my lobster boyfriend to suffer? I know he can't help that he's so white and fragile." He smirked and teased the boy.

Stuart felt so happy he was called brother that easily. Was all he could have asked for.

"Yeah Noods.... the sunblock didn't actually worked...." he said a bit sad. Poking his fingers on his red skin it was really marking. Another take and he would be screwed.

Stuart blushed with his comment. Of course Murdoc would take care of him. Stuart folded his arms. He leaned closer Murdoc and whispered so one one would hear "If you don't take care of my white fragile skin, love, you won't shag me later..." he frowned to him and smirked. "You didn't call me lobster when you're bottoming to me huh....?" He teased back taking a big sip of water and laughing.

He turned to Russel and Noodle "don’t worry guys... Murdoc will babysit me after all this.... won't you love....?" He joked.

Murdoc blushed immensely when he whispered to him. He turned a bit so hopefully no one would see his blush. Russel and Noodle and the twins watched him to see his answer.

"Uh.... yeah. I'll take care of him." He smiled sweetly at everyone. Then he bent down and kissed Stuart's forehead, whispering to him while he did so. "Oh I'll take care of you tonight."  He stood up and winked.

He went to grab the sunblock, looking for one that's even stronger than what he had. He found a strong SPF and came back. He poured some on the singer’s back and rubbed it around, in every spot he could reach. He then had the singer stand so he could put some on his chest.

When he rubbed it over his chest, he flicked the singer’s nipples in a quick motion, one no one else would notice. He smirked up at the singer. When he was done he had the singer sit back down and he rubbed some on his face. He put both hands on the singer’s cheeks and gave him a quick kiss.

He stood up and cleared his throat, a little embarrassed. Noodle giggled again and Russel’s mouth was hanging open in shock. That was the nicest he'd seen him be to Stuart.

Murdoc blushed, "Well.... Stuart, I think we're starting again love. Let’s go find our spots." He started to walk out of the tent, still embarrassed. He noticed they were bringing out all the kids. He frowned, he hated kids.

Stuart thanked he was already sunburned so no one would noticed he was really red in the face with his comment. He smiled back ready for a spiteful answer but he held his tongue.

He didn't think he would rub more sunblock on him immediately but it was a nice surprise. He smiled to everyone. That was a sweet action of Murdoc to shut up everyone. He felt himself so proud. Even in front of his brothers.

If they never told them they were together, they wouldn't be able to do something like that in public. "See guys I have the best boyfriend in the world and you’re all just jealous ‘cuz im lucky." He said smiling widely showing his gap teeth to everyone. He didn't even noticed his nipples as he was really happy. Noodle was adorable smiling and Russel well.... he liked to see him that surprised. Maybe fights between him and Murdoc would be less common now showing he really changed.

Roberto and Raul looked at each other and smiled. Roberto of course melted seeing Murdoc that nice and caring. He thought seeing the videos and interviews that he was a huge asshole with Stuart. Well the background showed them something different. They watched them go away making an "Aaaawn" in chorus. They smiled to Russel and Noodle.

Before they were set into their places, Stuart had some moments with Murdoc, while the directors talked to the children about the next scene. "Thank you, Muds.... you're really the best." He said with a sweet smile. "Sorry about all the teasing, I'm just really happy you're with me...." he held his hand. "I love you." He leaned closer whispering into his ear and kissing him quickly on the cheek. Every time Murdoc did something nice to him, he felt the urge to tell him he loved him.

Murdoc was beat red by now, especially when he heard everyone saying 'awww'. Murdoc smiled, though, when the singer kissed him on the cheek. That was so sweet and he was a sucker for the boys sweetness.

Murdoc looked around to make sure no one was watching and wrapped his arm around Stuart's shoulders, pulling him in to a giant, very passionate kiss. He pulled away.

"I love you too." He said, looking down embarrassed. He wasn't used to doing this kind of thing in public where he was surrounded by people that knew them.

He gave the singer a sweet smile before walking off to where he needed to be. He was still worried about the singer’s skin in the sun but at least he was nearby for it.

The director put them in different places and poses and filmed, getting a few close ups of the band members. They even got a shot with Stuart looking into the camera, with Murdoc a few feet behind him smiling. Then he noticed one of the kids nearby and gave him a little smack to the head, turning away as if he wasn't the one to do it.

They were going to film bootie browns scenes next and that required mainly Stuart dancing and other shots of the rapper. Murdoc went back to the tent tp watch from there. He wanted to see how the twins were doing without bring surrounded by his band mates.

"Hey guys. Thanks again for coming to watch. I'm sure this wasn't as much fun as you thought itd be. Feel Good Inc. may have been more fun...." he laughed and sat down. "Uh, when we are done here, we can go back to the studio and hang out more, we can even play you a few songs live." He smiled, hoping that'd be interesting enough for them.

Stuart wasn’t ready for that kiss either. But he felt on cloud nine even with both of them sweat burned and tired. He smiled from ear to ear. Murdoc was turning into a soft little thing. He could do anything with Stuart that night he would be pleased.

After being covered in sunblock Stuart felt a bit more ready for another take. But it needed to be the last or he would be burned seriously.

Stuart was happy with those close ups. He glanced to Murdoc from time to time and hoped no one made a close up of them kissing. It would be really embarrassing since the kiss in MTV award. He gave Murdoc one last smile before recording his dancing scenes. Of course he didn't feel like dancing anymore sweating and melting the way he was but we'll the show must go on. And that kiss gave him the strength he needed

Roberto and Raul were watching him by the tent. "Are you kidding Murdoc? We would never have the opportunity in life to see a video shoot of our idols!" Roberto said excitedly. He was years younger than Murdoc so he was easily amused.

Raul nodded "it would be really nice, we can go back home later, we have a hotel room to be overnight and go back to Crawley tomorrow so no problem if you want us to stay a bit longer, big brother!" He said happily "I bet the fans will love Dirty Harry video.... we already love it.... alive would be so nice!" They never had the opportunity to go to a live show. But they playing only for them in long studios sounded like a dream.

Murdoc bit his lip happily as they said they'd love to go and called him big brother. He was also happy to hear they had a hotel room. He would feel bad if they had to drive late at night or something, especially if they ended up drinking.

"Oh you two could have stayed with us as well! Next time, yeah? You see how big it is." He laughed and looked over to watch Stuart. He watched the way the singer looked so happy. He loved to see the kids big goofy grin on his face. He was so easy to read, which made the bassist so happy. He liked being able to read people, made him nervous when he couldn't.

"He looks like he's having fun at least." He chuckled, saying it to Raul and Roberto but he kept his eyes on the kid. "I actually.... really like the kid......" he said, finally turning to them. He looked at them.

"Which... which one of you is getting married again?" He said sheepishly. "Sorry, Abigail mentioned it real quick and with everything going on I forgot."

Just a moment love I'll do the grocery here with my husband reply in a bit

Raul answered him "we didn't want to bother...." actually Abigail told them to look for a room if they wanted to say a bit longer. She thought it was actually a nice idea for them to get more into Murdoc.

"I bet he is.... besides the sun he looks really happy Murdoc..." he agreed placing a hand on his shoulder with a smile. He knew Murdoc liked Stuart truly.

"Oh it's me.... I'm getting married." Roberto came next to him showing his ring finger proudly. "In about  some weeks...." he blushed a bit. "I want to show you my fiancee too if you'd like, brother bet he will like you...." as they both know he was with Stuart was the least he could show him in return.

Raul looked at Murdoc "I still didn't find the love of my life I guess...." he shrugged.

Murdoc looked at the ring on his finger, it was a nice ring. He imagined a similar ring on Stuart's finger. He thought it would look cute.

He looked at Raul, "Ah don't worry about it. Look at me, I'm almost 40 and mine was right in front of me for like 8 years and I'm only realizing it now." He smiled. He used to think that kind of talk was horrible. He always thought relationships were pointless, however.... when he became close with Stuart, now he couldn't imagine a life without it....

He looked back up at Roberto. "Congrats mate. That's so awesome. How.... how did you know? Like, how did you know he was the one you wanted to marry?" He asked. He made a mental note to send a wedding gift.

Raul chuckled to him "I thought your relationship with him was totally different, till we saw that kiss.... so I think it was not just for the fans, right? You’re really together...." he smiled gently. Murdoc didn’t seem the person his mother told him about the breakdown. "Don’t worry I'll be patient...."  he looked at Roberto "I had much fun helping this one here...."

Roberto blushed a bit.... "Well Murdoc...." he looked at his finger thinking about this question. "Raul helped me out about that... It was a bit hard for me telling my father that.... well I wasn’t straight and probably wouldn’t give him grandchildren.... Mom no, she was really understanding ‘cuz I was into boys since always.... after Raul she was the first person I was able to tell. " he chuckled

 "We met each other when I was 15 and of course my father thought was a phase.... that would pass and.... we were dating for almost 6 years now.... till we decided to marry." he smiled passionately thinking about him "His name is Andre. and.... He proposed me. He did it in a lunch on a Sunday at home. Every one of the family was there and I was really embarrassed...."

Raul chuckled "he almost fainted, our family clapped and mom was delighted." he placed both hands on his shoulders and shook him playfully.

"But answering your question, brother.... I knew I had to marry him when...." he looked up thinking "when he saved me." he looked at him seriously. "I dunno if mom told you I'm a police officer, and one day I wasn’t working but its instinctive to me act in certain situations like I was ......" he shrugged "Once we were in a store.... and two thieves decided to enter there. I was dressed like a normal person but I could do something. When I was about to act, one of the thieves came to me and he had a knife." he looked down "I was totally trained to defend myself from that so i was okay.... but then Andre entered in front of me before i could think about anything.... and he got stabbed to protect me..." he smiled.

"That day I almost lost him and.... I questioned myself if I was actually a good policeman.... ‘cuz i couldn’t protect him how could I protect anyone?...." he folded his arms "What happened after was that both man ran away and Andre was there bleeding but he was smiling...." he looked at Murdoc again "He told me he was happy he could be the hero once......" he chuckled "That hour I knew I needed that man for the rest of my life.... to return the sacrifice he made for me...." Raul came to him placing a hand on his shoulder, that was a hard day “but to be honest I knew I would marry him since the first time he told me he loved me… it was just a prove…”

Murdoc nodded, "Our relationship was different. I'll be honest, I couldn't stand how clingy that kid used to be. I hated him, I was jealous. I'd spent years trying to start my own band. To be the frontman, never worked out. Then that blue haired, black-eyed god came in with the most beautiful voice I ever heard and I knew he had to be the front man. I'm no fool. I know what it takes. I know I had to step back...." he looked down, a little embarrassed about how he had felt.

"But, he never let it get to his head. He never tried to push me out or away. He clung to me, he still needed me even though he could do so well on his own...." he looked out at Stuart.

He looked at Roberto and listened to his story. He nodded. He imagined proposing to Stuart in front of his family. He cringed. That wasn't something he could do. Ever. He got too nervous to do something like that. He'd be too worried the singer would say no. But he wasn't sure he ever wanted to get married still. It was an video and he picked up 2D's small hints but he still wasn't sure.

"Well that's very nice Roberto. I'm glad it had a happy ending." He smiled at him. "You should definitely bring him by, I think we would all like to meet him. Him and Abigail and your father can all meet my family, yeah?" He wasn't used to calling his band his family. Stuart was rubbing off on him.

Roberto and Raul looked at each other. Murdoc was opening his heart a bit about Stuart.... it was something nice they would tell Abigail once they reached home. Roberto bit his lip Stuart was really lucky to have someone who cared so much about him. He actually missed Andre, he was clingy as Stuart sounded. But deep inside he knew that Stuart needed him, as much as Murdoc did even if he could do well on his own.

Roberto nodded. "Of course, Murdoc.... we're all family here." He said confidently, actually he didn’t know if his father would be okay with that but they could try. "Russel and Noodle are really nice people...." he in just a little time could already notice that. "Come to the wedding, they'll all be there..." he winked to him.

Raul teased "maybe one day will be us going to Stuart and Murdoc's one huh?" he nudged Murdoc playfully while talking to Roberto. "You two deserve a happy ending too..." he smiled.

Murdoc looked at them and gave them a smile.... they just got invited to a wedding. That was a first and something they didn't have to do.

"Are.... are you sure? Could I bring Stuart?" He asked nervously. He wasn't sure he could go to something like that being the bastard child by himself. Stuart would make it so much easier for him.

When Roberto and Raul talked about his and Stuart's he blushed immensely. His whole face was beat red. He liked the idea of them having a happy ending as well, but he couldn't picture it. Now soon anyways. He looked to where Stuart was and saw him coming over. He smiled at the man.

"Of course, you can bring him Russel and Noodle too if you want, big brother...." Roberto said "You invited all of us to this shooting it's the least we can do in return...." he shrugged.

Soon both man's attention were turned to the singer that was coming. They didn't notice how he was red and embarrassed.

"Hey everyone I thought I was gonna die between takes...." he told excitedly taking off his helmet. He was sweating and the waist part of his trousers were a bit wet from sweat. His face was pink together with his shoulders and upper arms. "The director told me and the kids we are done filming they are thirsty and tired..." he was the biggest child among then.

He grinned and looked to Murdoc "Muds are you all right?" He noticed how he was red "Is it the sun, love.?" He placed a hand on his face worriedly.

Stuart himself was totally sunburned. Even with sunblock he would need a cold shower or sorta. Even touching made his skin scream.


	44. Brothers

Murdoc swallowed, noticing how sweaty the singer was. Also noticed how red he was. He quickly stood up, trying to keep the attention off his read face. "Dammit! Stu, you're all fucking burned!" He growled. He wasn't so much mad at Stuart as he was mad at the director for letting him stay out that long. He should have been paying better attention.

He looked at the twins, "I'm going to take Stu home real quick and get some soothing aloe gel on him before he gets too bad. Thank you for the invite and the talk. Noodle and Russel will take you back to Kong and we can all meet there, yeah?" He smiled. "I don't want you missing the little after part Bootie Brown's throwing. But this tomato needs some taking care of first. Come on Stu." He said, hooking his finger in a belt loop on his pants and dragging him out by that. He took them to one of the SUVs waiting to take someone else somewhere.

He had Stuart and himself get in the back. He turned to the driver, "Take us to Kong. Thanks mate." He said, handing Stuart a water bottle. The guy turned around and shrugged, driving off with them.

He turned to Stuart. "Why the bloody hell did you stay out so long?!" He hissed.

Stuart didn't even understood what happened. He could barely wave goodbye to the twins.

Once in the car Stuart took the water bottle and looked at it, too scared to look at Murdoc when he hissed. "I'm sorry." He squeezed the bottle nervously "we had to remake some things.... the director said it wasn't good enough and I had to stay a bit longer...." he mumbled. Actually some children that we rent behaving well were the problem too.... But he preferred blame himself.

He came smiling to hide the fact he was sunburn and not feeling well ‘cuz of much time under the sun, he didn't want to make Murdoc mad. But it didn't work as he could see. He couldn't even lay with his back against the seat. "I wanted it to be perfect.... for you." He whispered.

Murdoc growled, upset he couldn't even touch the kid at this point. He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Christ, Stuart. I don't want you burned. That would be perfect for me, you know?" He hissed again.

He saw Stuart was scared and he took a deep breath. "Sorry Stuart, I'm not mad at you. I just don't want you hurt...." he said, trying to smile at the kid. He brushed his hair from his face and tried to see the extent of the damage.

When they got to Kong he dragged the singer to one of the bathrooms in the Studio as that was closer than his Winnie. He turned on the water to the shower, putting it nice and cool, but not too cold.

He helped Stuart get the rest of his clothes off. He was red on just his top part, the rest of him still white. "You need to get in the cool water to stop the skin from continuing to burn." He helped the singer up and into the shower. While he was in the shower, he went out of the bathroom to search for some aloe Vera gel. He knew they had some because the kid always burned.

Stuart was totally silent while Murdoc did that. He felt guilty for doing it and looked at whole time to the floor. He would say thank you for all his help but he couldn't. He couldn't even look in his eyes

He nodded trying to go under the water. He felt his skin burning but wouldn't yell or bother Murdoc. Eventually he managed to stay under the water without a sound. He bit his lip not to cry. Why he was that sensitive? He hated that.  It wasn't a good idea stay so much time under the sun in a desert. He grabbed the shampoo thinking it was all his fault silently washing his hair.

Murdoc came back into the bathroom, "Hey! I found some gel, I can rub this on your burns when you get done. It'll help." He frowned realizing their night wasn't going to be as fun as he had anticipated. But he tried not to think about it. He really didn't want to hurt his singer.

When Stuart hadn't answered him, he pulled back the curtain slightly so he could see how the singer was doing, without Stuart noticing him. He noticed Stuart looked like he was going to cry, his heart broke. He closed the curtain and sighed. He'd gone too far again.

He started taking his clothes and boots off as quickly as possible. When he was naked, he got in the shower and grabbed the singer’s hands away from his hair. He held them softly so as not to hurt him.

He brought them up to kiss. "Sorry for yelling at you, love.... it wasn't your fault." He whispered.

"I ruined the night.... I'm aching a lot now and I made you mad. I'm so sorry Muds... I’m stupid." he said still looking down. "Ill finish the shower quick I promise...." he said trying to smile and not cry. He entered under the water to wash his hair.

His skin looked less red now but it was still burning. He thought that maybe the gel would help. He was desperate for some relief. He cooled the water for Murdoc as it was in a really cold temperature by now and turned around ready to leave to try drying himself alone.

Murdoc rolled his eyes and laughed gently. "Come here." He said pulling the singer close to him by his hips, where he wasn't burned. He kissed him gently, putting a hand in his hair and gently running his fingers through it.

"You didn't ruin the night. You're not stupid." He said after pulling away. "Don't talk like that." He growled and turned the water off. He didn't need a shower, he just got in to be with Stuart. He helped dry the singer’s unburned lower half and let the top half air dry so he didn't rub a rough towel over him and hurt him more.

He had him wrap a towel around his waste and he put one around his own. He held hid hand and walked him to his Winnie. He had the singer lay down on his front on the soft silk sheets and he gently rubbed the cooling gel into his back. He didn't even bother getting dressed yet, his singer was his first priority. "How’s that feel?" He asked.

Stuart was surprised when Murdoc pulled him back. He stood silently receiving his care and smiled. He nodded. He wouldn't talk like that anymore.

He felt Murdoc being so careful with him He couldn't help but smile. Even with his upper part burning he felt good. Stuart followed him to the Winnie and silently laid down.

Stuart shivered with the cold gel. "It.... feels so good love..." he whispered. It was so soothing . All he could have asked for relief. "Thank you so much...."

Murdoc smiled, knowing the singer was feeling better. He didn't think he did too bad of a job of taking care of the singer. He said he would after all and Murdoc isn't one to lie. Well, actually he is, but not to Stuart.

He quick got dress while Stuart lay down on the bed. Then he had the singer flip to his other side so he could straddle his thighs while he rubbed the gel on his chest and arms. When he finished he put a small dab on his fingers and booped the singer’s nose before rubbing some into his burned face.

"You're welcome, my love." He said as he got up off the singer and into the bathroom to wash his hands. "Now stay there a minute! Let it cool your skin." He yelled to him. Suddenly his phone started ringing. He looked at it and saw it was jimmy.

"Fuck...." he muttered. He walked out of the bathroom and towards the door to go outside. He yelled back at Stuart. "Be right back love!"

He answered his phone, "what?!" He hissed.

"That's not very nice. I'm just calling to see what your answer is Murdoc...." Jimmy said.

Murdoc frowned. "Fine. You can join. We'll get rid of Noodle. I just have think of when. Stop calling me." He growled. He heard Jimmy start to reply, but he closed his phone, hanging up. He stood there and squeezed his phone.

"You'll get her over my dead body." He whispered to no one.

Stuart moved himself without questioning to whatever direction Murdoc moved him. he giggled with that nose boop and his face went red. He loved the care he received by the Satanist.

Once Murdoc was outta the room he sat down to wait it dry. Stuart didn’t answer his yell he didn’t have a clue about what was happening. He silently stood up looking for his pills and some water, after the recording he felt his insides dried.

He looked through the window while drinking it and saw Murdoc talking on the phone and Cortez flying next to him. He smiled. By now the others should have arrived in Kong already. He wondered what Murdoc was planning to do with his brothers later.

He looked to one of the big mirrors he had there to see how his skin was. It looked slightly red but much better than he thought it would be looking. Maybe the night wasn’t ruined at all. He looked even a bit tan. He sat down on his bed again waiting for him to come back.

Murdoc was standing there gripping his phone, hard. He was trying to figure out what the hell he needed to do. Cortez cawed at him from the Winnie roof and he looked up.

"Oh yeah? What would you do in my case?" He asked the bird. Wishing, more than anything, he could actually talk. He needed some help and he had no idea where to go. He shook his head and walked back inside after he felt a little more calm. He did not want to alert Stuart and make him worry.

When he got in, he saw Stuart sitting on his bed. He gave him a big smile, "Hey, love, how you feeling? Did the gel help?" He flopped down on the bed next to him and watched the singer.

"You still look slightly burnt. " he murmured.

"Hiya Muds...." he said happily "I'm feeling better.... think this burning will turn into tan...." he winked to him. At least a less pale in the end "think that in some time it will heal completely...." he said with a smile "Are you okay....? You look nervous...." he tilted his head worried with him and placed a hand on his face. He knew when Murdoc used that smile to hide something.

Murdoc clenched his jaw and leaned into his touch, closing his eyes.  "Yeah.... I'm okay love. Just a long day I suppose." He lied. He couldn't tell Stuart he was panicking about Jimmy. About how Noodle might be in danger. He didn't want Stuart to worry about it at all. This was his thing to deal with.

He put a hand on Stuart's back. "You ready to go see if everyone is here yet? You look much better." He sat up and gave Stuart a gentle kiss. "Make sure you drink water tonight too...."

Stuart innocently believed in him. "Long day for all of us I guess...." he agreed. "I think I am.... just need to put some clothes on and them I'll go...." he smiled to him and leaned closer to kiss his forehead "thanks for taking care of me Muds...."

Stuart stood up and went to the door of the Winnie. He grabbed his outfit to put into the wash .machine and go to his room to get dressed "I meet you in the living room with the others, love...?" He smiled sweetly to him

Murdoc nodded, "Yeah love, I'll meet you there in a bit okay?" He gave him a sweet smile. He admired Stuart just a little longer. It helped him feel a little better.

After Stuart left he stared up at the ceiling of his Winnie. He could feel himself start to panic slightly. He had no idea what he was going to do....  he needed to get rid of Jimmy.... permanently. He didn't have a problem doing that with him threatening Noodle though. He contemplated all the ways he could do it. He just had to find the perfect time.

After a little bit he got up and made his way to the living room. Everyone was there talking and chatting. He put on a smile and walked up to them. "Well, I'm glad you all came back, I throw a mean after party!" He chuckled.

Russel sighed, "I have to admit.... he does...."

Stuart went to his room. He was happy that Murdoc wasn't that mad with him anymore. It was just accident. He put on something nice as Murdoc didn't know if they were about to do something. He took some moments putting on some cologne and combing his hair.

Raul and Roberto were at the living room for a while now just chatting with the others and waiting Murdoc to come. Raul nodded to his statement "Is 2D okay?" He asked worriedly "you two run off so quick we couldn’t say a thing." He chuckled.

The twins weren't thinking of a party but oh well.... maybe going to a pub and having a good time for them would be enough. But at this point they would do whatever Murdoc wanted.

Murdoc smiled, "Oh yeah, the little blueberry is doing just fine. Gave him a bit of love and attention and he perked right up. He's getting ready now." He said. He walked by the couch, ruffling Noodles hair on the way by and went to his stash of alcohol he had in a small cabinet. He pulled out bottles upon bottles of different types of liquor and put them on the table in the middle of the room.

"Now this.... is my kind of party. Do you boys drink? Anything specific?" He smiled wide. He wanted to get drunk and he wanted to get Stuart drunk if he could, he wanted to just have fun.

"I'll go make a call for some food. Hey!" He yelled at Noodle making a grab for one of the bottles of tequila. "You are not old enough to drink young lady.... although, a sip wouldn't kill ya...."

"No." Russel said without a second thought. He gave Murdoc a look, one that said he'd kill him if he even considered it. Murdoc looked at Noodle and shrugged.

"Sorry love! Gotta wait." She frowned and went back to her game on the couch. He snickered and walked to the kitchen to order in the food. He ordered seven large pizzas, he knew Russel and even Noodle could eat a bunch. Might as well have too much than not enough.

Raul and Roberto looked at each other. "Brother, only Raul drinks. I don't." he usually drank a bit but without his fiancée he didn’t feel like drinking ‘cuz he wanted him around to do it together with "But I can join you all even not drinking...." he said standing up and going to the table.

"This one here quit drinking some time now...." Raul clarified pointing to Roberto. "But I still do it like an old Opala...." he chuckled. "I like anything, what's here is actually much more than i could imagine......" he chuckled. "Normally I drink vodka but for me anything is good...." he said before Murdoc went to the kitchen.

Stuart came around noticing that amount of bottles in front of him and swallowed hard.... Murdoc would do exactly what he was thinking he was. He immediately thought he wouldn’t drink. Three drunk man would be too much trouble. Maybe four if Russel joined them.

He came behind Murdoc giving him a hug.... "Hey love..." he whispered into his ear with a large smile when he was hanging up the phone. he smelled like the gel and cologne, had a large smile on his face "what are you guys planning to do...?" he asked innocently kissing the back of his neck, knowing already what they would do.

Murdoc understood they might not drink as much, but it'd still be a fun time. When Stuart came up behind him and whispered into his ear, he felt a shiver run down his spine. The singer smelled good too. He turned around and saw he looked all groomed and handsome. Murdoc was impressed and felt a little underdressed.

"Well, well, well. You look so good, I could eat you.... literally. You're lucky there are others here, or I'd bend you over that kitchen table right there...." he smiled up at the singer.

"But if that's not an option, I plan on drinking and having a fun little party. I want you to drink too, Stuart." He demanded, giving the singer a serious look. Then his faced changed to one that was more pleading.

"Please don't make your boyfriend drink alone." He said. He knew if he threw the boyfriend thing in there it would tug at his heart strings.

Stuart looked at him back. his pleading look was really cute, he could do it.  But he had to remember as Murdoc said they weren’t alone.

"Okay, okay.... I can do it...." he wrapped his arms around his shoulders "But you know how i get when I drink, right love....? You'll have to satisfy me later." he said in a darker tone pressing him against the sink. As the singer was taller than him, he looked a bit intimidating. "You're the host, so you have to take care of the guests...." he teased running his fingers through his hair and looking into his eyes. For a moment, he looked around. Thankfully, no one. He could hear the noises coming from the living room.

He pressed his body against Murdoc's a bit more possessively and kissed him passionately. He pulled him close like his life depended on that his hands soon cupping his face. "Let's have fun, my boyfriend." he whispered pressing his forehead against his and laughing. "I'll obey you and drink what and how much you want me to, just know that you'd have to deal with it later...." he smiled sweetly. If Murdoc wanted him to drink he could be in charge of this too if he wanted.

Murdoc was dazed by the kiss and the dominating nature of the singer. He let out a shaky breath, and a smile. He loved it. He didn't mind the dominant singer that came out from time to time. Kept it interesting.

"Holy hell.... Stu.... I'll take care of anything you need. You name it." He laughed, a little breathless and gave him a wink. He was getting turned on, he'd need to cool it before going back into the room with the others.

"Come on love." He smiled, smacking the singer’s ass real quick and turning around to grab some cups from the cupboards. He was excited, it'd be like the old times when they used to drink, only now they got to have sex at the end of it. He also loved when they'd have drunk sex, it was some of the most wild stuff they've done.

He thought for a moment, before turning back to the singer, "What the hell did you used to do when we would drink together and you knew you liked me? You always get horny when you drink but I don't remember you making any adVances on me...." he commented. He tried to think back

Stuart was caught off guard with that question. "Muds if you want me to be honest, pills baby...." he said chuckling "I use to take some more than necessary before drinking ‘cuz even if i got turned on ‘cuz of you, I'd be too dizzy  or sleepy and not thinking straight to do anything with you.... Not even flirt." he bit his lip.

"Sometimes I got so horny that, remember that I always wanted to go earlier home when we were at parties or at your Winnie I got back to my room....? I said I was tired or sick.... Well I lied. I hid it from you and went to jerk off alone. " he said totally embarrassed. "‘cuz I knew if i tried to go with a bird the only person in my mind would be you and I'd ruin everything if i called your name...." not that it hadn’t happened at least once.

"Sometimes when my body would start to give me a hard on when drinking I blocked myself it so hard that I puked from panic...... sometimes from mixing...." he looked to the floor "I was afraid I would come to you horny and needy and drunk, you'd fuck me and after kick me out like woman you shagged.... I wouldn’t know how to deal with that...." he would be so heartbroken he couldn’t bear.

"I'm sorry, Muds.... but I swear the first time we shagged drunk I didn’t have had pills before... " it was when they first met after the hiatus. "I was "thinking straight" I can tell and missing you so much...." he was really red now.

Murdoc's eyes widened. His heart was beating fast and he felt bad for his little Bluebird. "That definitely explains all those times I thought you were just being a big baby......" he said, then continued, "I'm sorry love. I wish you had tried to make a move on me earlier, but I.... honestly don't know what I would have done though." Stuart was probably right. He probably would have fucked the singer and kicked him out. He loved the idea that the singer used to pine for him, turned him on thinking about the singer jacking it all alone thinking about him.

He put his hand on his face, "We'll just have to make up for all that lost time, yeah? Maybe we'll even do that tonight." He chuckled and winked at the singer. He leaned forward and kissed the singer’s neck, then kissed upwards towards his jaw, stopping to nip and bite gently, not too hard. He would save that for later.

He reached up to kiss his lips and even slipped his long tongue inside. He loved the taste of the singer, it was his and his alone.

"You guys, whats- whoa! What the hell guys?!" Russel came into the kitchen, interrupting their little intimate moment. Murdoc didn't pull away right away, instead pausing then giving the singer another quick kiss as he slowly slid his tongue out of his mouth. He then turned to look at Russel.

"Do you mind?! Christ, learn to knock!" He snapped, a glare sitting on his face. Russel frowned then looked confused.

"This.... is the kitchen.... there's no door to knock on." He shook his head, then looked at 2D. "Man, what if Noodle walked in and saw that? I'm an adult and I'm scarred, think of poor little Noods." He said, half joking, half serious as he walked in to grab the cups from Murdoc.

"Fuck off Russ, if I want to kiss my boyfriend, I will kiss him however I like and whenever I like. Thanks, now piss off." Murdoc said, glaring at Russ.

Russ just sighed and shook his head, "You're an idiot Muds." He walked out of the kitchen, leaving them alone again.

Stuart was hearing his explanation when Murdoc suddenly started to kiss him. he felt shivers down and up his spine. He nodded to his promise, he wanted to have much fun drunk tonight with his lover. Stuart was just scared of making a move earlier and be dumped. so again he kept all to himself.

He flinched when he heard Russel coming. For a second again the dolt forgot they weren’t alone. Would be difficult for him not get turned on when drunk with Murdoc complicating things for him like that in front of other people. Should he grab his pills? No.... today he would learn how to deal with his desires. He was focused.

Stuart was slightly embarrassed but he looked to Russel "Sorry Russ...." he shrugged hot really sorry. Russel and all others knew they were a couple. And couples snog right....? They would have only to be cautious with Noodle around. "We were about to take the cups to the room, are you gonna join us drinking?" he asked simply as nothing had happened.

Murdoc rolled his eyes at Russel and crabbed Stuart's hand firmly. "Worry not my sweet little blueberry. I'll take care of all your needs later tonight." He said with a smile. He made a playful biting motion, snapping his sharp teeth together and winking. Oh, how he was excited for tonight.

"Come on love." He said walking out with him behind Russel. Someone had brought out nonalcoholic drinks and, after the cups were set out, everyone grabbed what they wanted. Russel had a little bit of alcohol, but not much. Murdoc chose to grab a bottle of rum and forgot the cup. When Russel wasn't looking he let Noodle have a sip. She shuddered and gagged from the taste and he laughed.

He looked at Stuart, "What would my little blueberry like to drink?" He asked, going to pour him a cup of whatever he wanted. They had a little time before the pizza got there.

Stuart blushed when Murdoc grabbed his hand and made that motion. He felt he was screwed for sure.

Stuart laughed when he noticed Noodle taking a sip. It was horrible. He knew that. He turned to Murdoc "Well my love. Whatever you want me to drink. And how much.... like I told you" he said with a smile trusting Murdoc much more than he should.

Roberto didn't drink only picking a glass of juice for him and Raul was already with his vodka with some juice in it.

Murdoc smiled, "oh love, you are giving me too much power. Here." He mixed some pineapple juice with a bit of tequila." He handed it to the singer. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

"I’ll get it. Drink!" He commanded to 2D, "that pineapple juice will be delicious for me later, if you know what I mean." He whispered so only the singer could hear.

He then went and grabbed all the pizza, struggling to bring all the boxes back to the table. He looked at the twins as Noodle, Russ dug into the slices. "I hope you boys like pizza! I ordered a ton." He smiled at them.

Noodle looked over at the twins. "You two are not as mean as Murdoc." She said laughing as she stuck her tongue out at Murdoc.

Murdoc looked at her, offended. "Excuse me! Who let you try some rum?!" He argued.

"What?!" Russel boomed, obviously upset.

"Oh shit...." Murdoc panicked and hid behind Stuart.

Stuart blushed hard with his lewd comment but nodded and began drinking in small sips as it was really hard. With just that glass he would be drunk. He knew it.

Raul and Roberto smiled to the large amount of pizzas. They weren't really expecting for that but if they said they weren't hungry they would be lying. They thanked Murdoc and began eating.

Raul was about to answer her when they started arguing. Stuart frowned deeply to him. "Let's not fight Russel. It's a party." He looked at Noodle "she didn't even like it...." he couldn't deny that Murdoc gave her the drink. He frowned to Murdoc too. He was already talking too much without even being drunk.

Russel shook his head and continued eating his pizza. Noodle giggled and turned back to Raul. "You two are from Stoke-on-Trent, like Murdoc? Or somewhere else?" She asked, taking a bite of her piece of pizza.

When she talked to the twins, Murdoc moved to the front side of the singer, a giant smile on his face. He took a big swig of rum, then gave the singer a quick peck on the lips. He whispered to him, "Are you mad? I don't like it when you're mad. You're too beautiful to be angry." He chuckled and gave him another peck on the lips. He was in such a great mood, he didn't think anything could ruin it.

Roberto shook his head to Noodle "actually were from Crawley.... the same place as 2D...." he explained.

"Probably in the time Murdoc went there to look for our mother that he and Stuart met and the whole accident happened...." Raul explained to her "Only Hanibbal and Murdoc are from Stoke.... and.... the thing about being mean is that we're not sons of the same father I guess...." he told her a bit sad.... Abigail told them about how Sebastian was and what he turned himself into.

In the other side, Stuart took another sip. He wasn't a fan of tequila at all but wanted to please Murdoc. "Of course I'm not mad Muds.... you're just talking too much.... and even if i like your voice I much rather hear it screaming and moaning my name" he booped his nose really close his face whispering. "You're bloody gorgeous have I already told you that? I'm really luck to have you all for me..." he said with his tongue a bit slippery from alcohol.

He leaned even closer him into his ear "can't wait to take off your clothes my love, and make you mine...." He bit his earlobe, taking another sip and laughing.

Murdoc gulped, his breathing getting faster. "Well...." he was actually left a little speechless, his blood traveling away from his brain to a lower region. He hadn't expected the singer to be so dominating already, he was in love.

He looked up at Stuart, "I think I'm falling in love with you again." He chuckled and gave him another kiss. Then he turned around and grabbed the singer’s arms to wrap around him as he pressed his back against the singer’s chest. He felt as if he was getting wrapped in wings. He had a giant grin on his face as he took a few more swigs of alcohol.

Noodle, meanwhile, was listening to Roberto and Raul, eating more pizza. "Murdoc never talks about his father. How was your father? Nice? Your mom sounds nice. What do you do for a living?" She rambled off questions, curious to know more about the guys that claimed to be Murdoc's siblings. They seemed to different from Murdoc.

Stuart just blushed hard and loved his reaction. He didn't do anything on purpose. "Oh are you? Im glad to hear that.... Mudsie I fall in love with you thousands of times in just one day" he laughed dumbly taking another sip of his glass feeling already drunk. He wrapped his arm around his body and kissed the back of his neck pressing him close. "You're the most precious thing to me...." he whispered "And I love you so...." he slurred nuzzling his face on his back.

Roberto noticed how the young girl was curious. He wouldn't let her without answers. "Murdoc doesn’t talks about his father ‘cuz he was a demon with him...... as our mother told us. "He explained softly "I'm a police officer and Raul is a dentist. And we both were like always huge fans of your work."

Raul took another sip of his drink "Juan is a nice man. He always treated our mom right.... and taught us to treat the person who is with us right too." He looked at her "he just didn't.... accept well the fact Roberto was getting married with a man and.... when our mother told him about her other son he was a bit upset she hid it for all those years you know....? He even showed him the photo of her and Murdoc she had into her wallet.... it will be a process till he accepts that is the truth or till she proves it...." he said sadly. It was Abigail's voice against their father. How to prove that? Maybe DNA test could work... The only person who could say something about the was 6 feet under already.

Murdoc listened to their conversation as he snuggled with Stuart. He was starting to feel light headed. "Yeah, that drunkard wouldn't remember anyways. He hardly remembered he had kids." He took another gulp of his drink.

"Little Noodle, you think I'm mean, you should have met my father. He was truly mean. Look at him wrong and he'd give you a slap to the side of your head." He told her.

She was watching him curiously. Almost studying him. "So.... like you used to do with 2D...." she said, watching him. She meant no ill will, but she also wanted to understand why the two were together if Murdoc used to do that to him. He didn't forgive his father, why would he expect 2D to forgive him.

Murdoc's mouth fell open. He hadn't expected to be called out in front of everyone. He pursed his lips and thought before answering.

"You're right.... I used to.... I used to take my anger out on him sometimes. But I regret that every day and I'm trying to make it up to him...." he said, taking another sip of his drink.

Russel watched in surprise. He didn't think he'd ever admit to something like that. He looked at Noodle, she was smiling at Murdoc.

Roberto and Raul looked at him surprised too. They looked at each other and smiled.

Stuart was hearing the conversation as well and what Noodle said deeply hurt him. He had scars that didn't fade from the time Murdoc was mean with him some traumas. He knew pretty well the past and didn't need to be reminded about it. He would panic anytime Murdoc get mad with him nowadays and if he raised his voice he would cry and apologize. But having Murdoc assuming that he was found that for real made him forget about Noodles words.

"He's making it up to me Noods.... " Stuart said in a serious tone. "In any and each possible way Murdoc is better for me than he used to and I have to recognize that." He told her with a smile "I forgave him and we're really trying to make something good together.... he’s doing much better than what we used to do...." he shook him lightly "right love?"

Roberto said "I agree.... He had the guts to go to our mother's house to talk to her...." if it wasn't enough changing for Noodle and Russel nothing would be.

Raul turned to him "You father can even be mean big brother but you're improving......" he said honestly.

Murdoc shook his head, "Nah, I didn't have the guts to go to my.... uh.... our mother’s house until Stuart went with me...." he shrugged, too buzzed to really be embarrassed at this point.

"If it wasn't for Stuart, I wouldn't have been able to do a lot of things.... he's my rock.... no, wait, my tree actually." He giggled as his little joke about how tall the singer is. He tipped his head back, hoping the singer would give him a quick kiss.

"Holy shit.... Murdoc. This is. Wow." Russel says, looking from the twins and Noodle to Stuart and Murdoc then back. "I've never seen this man affectionate over anything. Well, except maybe a bottle of whiskey. This is.... odd. I feel like I'm in a twilight zone episode." He whispered, looking at Noodle, who nodded in agreement.

Stuart didn't get about rock and trees.... He was a bit drunk now to understand but.... He felt it was something good to say. He kissed Murdoc as soon as he tipped his head. Taking a bit longer than a quick kiss.

Stuart as well didn't get the Twilight. He just laughed more and tried to joke "guess now I'm his bottle of whiskey...." he held him close hiding his face ok his back and hiccupping.

Raul that had drank a bit too decided to talk "Well I think things chance for good when you’re in love.... not only with Murdoc but this one here changed too.... when he met Andre he stopped being a lazy and not worried about anything lad to focus in the studies and turned himself into a police officer...." he said pointing to his twin.

Roberto nodded "Yeah if it wasn't for Andre I wouldn't be employed now...." he agreed.

Murdoc smiled, "Thanks excellent mate! I'm really happy to hear it worked out well with you two." He held onto Stuart's arms around him. He almost forgot Roberto was a police officer, he reminded himself to watch what he said. Murdoc wasn't always into illegal activities but he may dabble in one or two things from time to time.

He looked at Roberto, "I'm really happy it went well with your parents, you know?" He was slurring a bit. "Parents can be so unpredictable, and kids depend on their parents and what they say." He looked to Noodle.

"I think we make okay parents, yeah? The three of us? Well, not really parents, Noodle can take care of herself pretty well actually." He chuckled. Noodle was turning a little red from embarrassment.

Stuart smiled again "Yeah Noods we like to be your "parents".... he slurred “At least I do.... till now we made a good job right....?" He held Murdoc "for 3 misfits.... the only big mistake was the time when you got Murdoc's hair shaver and destroyed your hair.... you remember that mate?" He poked Murdoc "it was horrible when we recorded 5/4!" He laughed and hiccupped hugging him.

 Noodle was well She was smart healthy and pretty independent. She looked like she got the best of the 3. Strong as Murdoc caring as 2D and wise as Russel.

Raul turned to Noodle "they adopted you....? What happened?" He asked curious to know who the hell would give little girl to live in a studio in the middle of a cemetery with 3 dysfunctional man.

Roberto told everyone "We plan of adopting a child or a baby as well.... when we're able to.... our mom will love grandchildren...." he was drunk but he meant that. It was their dream actually.

Murdoc snorted hard when Stuart mentioned her cutting her hair. He remembered when she walked out of the bathroom with bald patches all over her head. He'd laughed so hard, as did Noodle actually. She didn't care and that's what he liked about her. Russel did give him a bit of a hard time though. Even Russel laughed at the memory now though.

Murdoc smiled at the adoption mention from Roberto, "Th-then I'll be an uncle." He chuckled like a drunk idiot. He liked that idea, more family to add to his growing family. "You.... I bet you would do so well with a baby.... how can a baby be any s-safer than with a police officer as a parent?" He held up his bottle of rum as if to raise a toast.

Noodle was red still from their comments, but answer Raul, "Yes, adopted. I came here when I was 10. I was shipped here in a FedEx box because I was originally a part of a secret government project to make children super soldiers. The rest of the children were killed. I didn't know how to speak English when I first arrived and I didn't have any memories. I went on a mission to find out more about myself over the last break. My memory came back and I could speak English again." She smiled proudly. Russel nodded.

"Yeah we used to have to translate for her.... I don't think we did a good job with that." He chuckled, even more when Noodle agreed.

"Yeah you'll I promise when it happens we can bring he or she here or you come to visit together with Andre...the best green uncle" he raised his glass of juice to toast with him with a chuckle. "Yeah.... But we were thinking about a toddler more, brother....as they're more difficult to be adopted...."

Stuart nodded. "My parents thought about adopting once Muds.... I agreed totally but my father didn't...." he chuckled. Probably was ‘cuz if it Rachel kept all his baby stuff.... after having Stu she couldn’t get pregnant anymore. So they focused on the singer.

Raul's eyes widened.... killed? So she was the only one left? She was lucky he could tell. "Oh I see.... at least you were able to recover your memory...." he smiled to Russel "But well even being difficult you tried your best.... that's what counts. "And you seem really independent like they spoke.... Is it true that that last albums and videos were all your idea?" He asked curiously. Meeting Noodle he couldn't believe that tiny girl was really capable of all that. They should feel like proud parents now.

Murdoc usually wanted to take credit for the last album, and some parts he did help Noodle with, since he had experience. But he did feel proud of her, and it came out more with him being drunk.

"It's very true!" He slurred. "She had most of it done by the time we even showed up! She just needed us to work some of our magic with our parts. I even had some of my Mexican buddies helping me. I got to sing the White Light song." He chuckled remembering back to when they had recorded it.

He looked at the twins, "oh I forgot, I don't know if you knew. I was in a Mexican prison for a year and a half before this. Broke out with my two Mexican buddies and as payment, they got to play on the album." He took another sip and turned a bit to look at Stuart.

"How are you doing so far?" He whispered so only Stuart could hear. Meanwhile, Noodle told the twins about all she'd done for the album.

Roberto nodded "we received the news in my department Murdoc.... you're very famous to be unknown in a prison...." as he was a police officer he should know about the prisoners. He and Raul smiled to each other, Murdoc really spoke like a proud parent.

Stuart looked st him and whispered back "w-what do you mean Muds....? I'm a bit dizzy......" he told him honestly and pulled him close "And a bit hard here too...." he told him laughing lowly. From where Murdoc was between his legs. He could feel the little tent forming there.

"I'm behaving...." he said calmly, just joining the conversation and not wanting to ruin anything for Murdoc but him laughing and rubbing his trousers were making everything difficult to the singer. "I know our party will be later.... " he took the last sip of his forgotten cup of tequila and kissed his lips for some seconds. It it was another time Stuart would be close the time that he woukd leave he others to stay alone. But he didn't have his pills and had a bit more of self control.

Murdoc chuckled when he noticed the hard on pressed against his ass. He wiggled his ass a bit just to tease the poor boy. He couldn't help it, he was a big tease and he was excited, especially after the kiss.

He whispered to him, "Just a little longer my love. The wait is part of the fun." He winked. "And believe me.... it'll be worth it. Promise." He wiggled his ass one last time. He was getting a little hard too, but he had to control himself a little more since he was in front.

He laughed at Roberto having heard the news. "Glad to know I was famous enough to have the news told here." He chuckled. "You being related to me isn't going to hurt your reputation, is it?" He asked, his worry being a little more apparent from him being drunk.

Stuart suppressed a low moan bowing his head. And to punish Murdoc from his bad behavior he bit the back of his neck. It wasn’t hard or to hurt was just to tease him.

"Don’t worry about time my little Blackbird....I'm not in a hurry" he whispered slurring "I love seeing you having fun with us and with your brothers... Has been a while since we had a reunion like this......" he chuckled. No one was fighting, no arguing they were talking about random subjects like friends, or more like a family....

Roberto looked at him "Not at all brother, we don’t have the same surname and the only people that know we're related are you here mom and dad." he explained softly. The only living Niccals were Murdoc and Hannibal, and he didn’t have any children that Murdoc knew. Raul and Roberto didn’t know much about Hannibal at all, Abigail didn’t mention him, only when he was a child. "And even if they knew, they would be happy to know that my brother is a famous bassplayer with his own band...." he chuckled.

Raul added "yeah they would probably want you to sign something or take pictures...... ask for free show tickets...." he shrugged drunkly. Outlaw or not, Murdoc wasn’t doing anything wrong now and he already paid his debt with society

Murdoc suppressed a moan from the bite. He might fold quicker than Stuart. He tried to listen to his brothers and pay attention. It helped that he was drunk, he could play off anything he did with being drunk essentially.

He cleared his throat. "W-well if I can be of any assistance to my dear brothers, please let me know. Concert tickets or anything else you need, feel free to ask!" He said joyfully. He was happy at the thought of getting to be shown off as a successful brother.

They talked and joked for a few good hours, Murdoc teasing Stuart every chance he got, while the singer teased back. He learned a bit more about his brothers, while his brothers got to hear all about each of the bands back stories.

He started to get excited when he saw everyone getting partied out. Noodle was already asleep. Russel was close. Murdoc looked at the twins.

"So.... was meeting the band everything you dreamed it would be?" He asked. Him and Stuart had moved to sit on the couch at some point. Their hands were clasped together and drunk 2D was leaning against Murdoc.

Roberto and Raul noticed how the couple was teasing each other. Roberto did this pretty often with his fiancée so he could tell when he saw other couple doing the same.

"Much more we could have asked for, Murdoc" Raul slurred drunkly. Even drunk he noticed it was time to leave. He had been a good host to everyone.

"Thank you, Murdoc we hope we can meet you soon again...." Roberto said standing up and helping his twin do the same. he leaned closer them "you, take care of our big brother right?" he said to Stuart.

"You don’t have to say twice" he said excitedly and kissed Murdoc's head affectionately. "I bloody love this old green man a looot...." he slurred laughing and tried to stand up "let us lead you to the door and wait for the cab...." he offered a hand for Murdoc stand up. He was without balance and needed the bassist to lean on.

Murdoc chuckled, and took his hand. He got up and allowed himself to be used to balance by his tall boyfriend. He didn't mind at all. He held onto his arm the singer wrapped around him.

He walked with them to the doors, even Russel joined, seeing as they were going to leave. They all exchanged goodbyes as the cab pulled up. Before they left he told the twins, "You are both always welcome here with us. Say hi to your parents for me. I don't want to impose on Abigail's marriage or anything, so if your father is ever cool with me, I'd like to say hi someday.... maybe at the wedding? Stuart and I will for sure be there." He was drunk but trying to keep himself from slurring.

After they had left, Russel turned and went to grab Noodle to take her to bed. He said his goodnights and the two were finally alone. Murdoc looked up at Stuart, still holding him up.

"You still up for some fun, or do you just want to go to bed?" He chuckled.

Roberto chuckled before leaving "our parents...." he said with a playful smile and left.

After everyone went away Stuart finally felt he could breathe. "Bed?" he chuckled. he pretended he looked around to see if someone was there....  of course there was no one, he just felt like doing it. He pushed Murdoc to the nearest wall smirking.

He pressed his body against the Satanist's and grabbed his hand roughly placing it on his already evident boner "Tell me if I look sleepy, Mu’doc...." he chuckled going to his neck to finally  kiss and bite it. his hand was tangling his hair in the back of his head."Fuck love, I waited whole night to have you.... I'm as drunk and as horny I used to be in the past...." he whispered into his ear after nibbling his earlobe.

He pulled away a bit "And definitely I am not going to jerk off alone today...." he said with a serious and demanding tone looking into his eyes and licking Murdoc's lips. "I want you." His hand rested on his waist and he pulled him closer.

Murdoc chuckled and growled seductively, especially when the singer pulled him closer. He immediately became turned on, he loved this drunk dominating Stuart. The feeling of his lips and teeth at his neck while a hand grabbed his hair was intoxicating.

"You.... are definitely not jerking off tonight. You can have me any which way you please blueberry. Giving you my ass is the least I can do for all you've done for me." He whispered, a little breathless. He stuck his tongue out playfully.

He rolled his hips forward pressing his erection into Stuart and giving out a small little moan. His hands were on the singer’s hips, gripping tight.

He leaned forward, his lips right near Stuart's ear. "I expect you to fuck me so hard, the world can hear me screaming your name...." he smirked. It was a small challenge, one he hoped the singer was up for.

Stuart was drunk but he had the same plans as the Satanist.... ".... Hold my shoulders, love...." he ordered him and lifted the bassist wrapping his legs around his waist and holding his ass with his both hands. For a moment, the drunk singer thought about going upstairs to his room but if he did that Noodle and Russ would definitely hear Murdoc screaming. Bad plan.

He began kissing his neck and focusing hard in not fall with the Satanist on his lap while they went to the Winnie. The alcohol gave him all the confidence and strength he didn’t have usually and Murdoc telling him what he wanted was a plus turning on. He opened his door with his foot and threw Murdoc on his bed. He stood up and combed his hair with his fingers "Love, where are your toys....?" he smirked deviously.


	45. Toys

Murdoc held onto the singer like his life depended on it. He laughed and moaned into the singer’s kiss, delighted at the singer carrying him to the Winnie. It was the cutest and sexiest thing ever. He was sure they would have fallen, but Stuart did a good job actually.

When the singer threw him onto the bed he was just as breathless as Stuart probably was. His pants were too tight, he needed to get them off soon. A giant grin was on his face and he gripped the sheets beneath him in excitement. He smiled even wider when Stuart asked about the toys.

"They're in the box in the closet love." He said without hesitation. He started to undress.

Stuart nodded and tried to walk to the closet, panting as he was tired of carrying Murdoc but was feeling in heaven. He looked to what was inside it curiously, his vision was blurry so he had to be sure about what to grab. His smile grew.

He came back holding the leash, the cuffs, lube and a whip. He was creative that day. His eyes were white and confidence in high levels. Now he liked the idea of Murdoc being a pet. He snapped the whip so he could get Murdoc's attention. He remembered with his drunk self about the colors and the reward/punishment rule. "In front of me, knees on the floor." he ordered. Murdoc would be punished tonight for all the wrong things he did with Stuart these last days.

Murdoc was in the works of taking his pants and underwear off when he heard the snap from the whip. He looked up and his eyes widened and he felt his cock twitch, his heart started racing. Stuart looked completely different but it was the hottest thing he's ever seen. He swallowed.

He got up slowly, kicking the jeans the rest of the way off him quickly, now completely naked. He rolled off the bed in his haste and crawled over to Stuart. Then he got up on his knees and sat up straight, ready. He probably looked like an eager puppy.

Stuart smiled widely placing the things on the table. Murdoc even stopped talking. "Love tonight I want you to be my pet...." he whispered seductively putting the collar around his neck not too tight not to hurt. "You’re lucky you weren’t using the collar.... ‘cuz I didn’t ordered you to take off your clothes." he said seriously clenching teeth but them smiled.

He looked at Murdoc admiring him for a moment with the collar around his neck looking hopeless. He bend down and kissed his lips deeply as a reward after he obeying. He made sure a trail of saliva was left connecting both mouths. He really wanted Murdoc.

“Love, now I want you to undress me… the most lewd and sly way you can…. Show me how much you want me…” he slurred. He felt like in a dream, he could actually order Murdoc around. “After you do it, you’ll have to wait for me kneeling next to the bed and no touching, darling.” He ordered slipping pet names. In his dreams when drunk and horny he praised Murdoc with pet names all the way.

When Stuart started demanding him around with the collar on, he could feel his cock twitch again. He loved the feel of the collar on him. When he kissed him, he moaned into his mouth, breathing hard and feeling dazed when Stuart pulled away. He noticed the saliva still connecting them and smiled.

When Stuart told him to undress him and told him what to do after he nodded eagerly. "Yes sir." He whispered. He got himself up close to Stuart and started by grabbing the bottom of Stuart's shirt. He lifted up and started kissing his exposed skin below his navel. He licked the rest of the way up to his navel.

Then he slowly stood up and lifted the shirt up to his chest and then started kissing his chest and nipping at his nipples. While doing this he pulled Stuart's shirt off the rest of the way.

He pulled away slightly and looked up at Stuart, hoping for praise as he started nipping and sucking on Stuart's nipples more. He made sure they got nice and wet. He wanted to show Stuart exactly how much he wanted him.

‘Sir?’ He thought to himself. Was all he wanted to get going. He was never called that way before in sex.

Stuart was gonna be mean asking him if he was allowed to tease him but he couldn’t. Murdoc really wanted him, for a moment he thought about losing control and begging him to continue but he decided against it, frowning with a sly smile. He grabbed the back of his hair making Murdoc face him and brushed his lips against him just to tease, licking them. He loved his lips. He went to his neck and bit it on the sweet spot he knew Murdoc had, praising him just a bit.

He went quickly to his ear, whispering "I'm still dressed, love...." he pulled his leash a little so he could go down, choking him a bit, not rough "I ordered you to undress me...." he whispered in a serious tone. once Murdoc went a bit down he showed him how hard he was pulling his hips a bit in front of his face "It’s getting really uncomfortable.... can you fix that for me love...?" he pulled the leash again.

When he pulled his hair, Murdoc grunted. When he felt the singer just barely press their lips together, he tried to move forward to complete the kiss, but the hold on his hair wouldn't allow that.

Then the singer bit his neck and he let out a deep, throaty growl. He was in heaven. He was breathing hard, his entire body wanting to move to touch the singer, but he knew he needed to wait.

Stuart whispered to him then yanked his leash down to the front of the singer’s pants. He saw how hard the singer was. He smiled and looked up the singer pressing his mouth and side of his face against Stuart's erection beneath his jeans. He licked his jeans in a slow motion, while keeping his eyes on Stuarts. He swallowed and smiled wider when the singer pulled the leash once more.

"Yes sir...." he whispered, answering his question. He brought his hands up to unbuckle his jeans slowly. He used his teeth to pull down the zipper, his eyes still on Stuart's.

When he got the zipper down, he grabbed the top of his jeans and pulled them down along with his underwear. Stuart's erection sprung out and he pressed it against his cheek, smiling and sticking his tongue out to lick the shaft gently.

Then he forced himself to look down so he could take Stuart's shoes and socks off real quick, then took the rest of his clothes off. When he got Stuart completely naked, he looked up at the singer, eagerly, forgetting the other part of Stuart's command for a moment.

Stuart just looked at him savoring his actions. He felt a giant relief after Murdoc took his underwear off. For Stuart he was a fucking tease, but he wasn’t a good bottom at all. He smirked. "What have I told you lastly to do, love....?" he said placing both hands on his waist. And grabbing the whip that was laying on the table. He slowly passed the leather part of it on his face, teasingly.

He pulled the leash again roughly "And I allowed you to lick me....?" He shook his head "You did it on purpose I can tell.... ‘cuz you’re a naughty old man...." he slurred sounding angry but he was really happy. For him Murdoc deep inside wanted to be punished and Stuart would give him what he wanted even if he wasn’t being a good boy. "My man." he pulled it even harder and held it for a moment to cut his air. His face was inches from the Satanist and he could smell the tequila scent coming from him, his eyes white as snow.

To be merciful he ruffled his hair as a tiny reward. He sat down on the bed still pulling him by the leash forcing him to come along. “Now I want you to lay down on my thighs with your belly down and ass up and keep your arms always behind your back.” He told him smiling and playing with the whip. Soon his smile faded. “I’ll punish you, my love.” He pulled his leash roughly making him bend and frowned “hurry up.” He ordered harshly.

Murdoc started to pant as the singer pulled on his leash. He tried to lean into Stuart's hair ruffle but it was too quick. He was breathing harder now and felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. His cock was aching, and he loved every minute it. "Sorry sir...." he said breathlessly, apologizing for not listening properly.

He frowned and bit his lip hard, feeling himself turn beat red when Stuart told him to lie down over the singer’s legs. His eyes flicked from whip to Stuart and back to the whip. His heart was pounding out of his chest and he started trembling in anticipation.

He smiled till Stuart ordered him to hurry. Then he quickly did as Stuart told him. He quickly crawled up onto and lying over Stuart's lap as directed. He was breathing harder, almost panting, excited.

Murdoc behaved and Stuart noticed his red face. Oh that was so cute. However, focus. He needed to do what he needed to do.

Once with Murdoc on his thighs he gently caressed his back, running his nails up and down a bit, just massaging, playing. He looked to his tattoos for a moment and tried to praise him a bit, but in this position was a bit hard.

 He squeezed his ass admiring the view he had of a totally vulnerable Murdoc. He bit his lip. He wanted to punish him but he was afraid he could hurt Murdoc as it was his first time and he was drunk. He looked at his hand with the whip and hesitated. Thankfully, Murdoc couldn’t see him hesitating.

 “Love, please, tell me if I can go harder okay.” He remembered Murdoc saying he loved to be punished so he wanted to please him. “I’ll do it 5 times and you count it. After that you apologize to me or no fucking at all, sweetheart.” He lifted the whip and closed his eyes, focusing in feel a bit angry about Murdoc.

He thought about the hour when he dragged him outta the store and he fell and hurt his knee. The time when he yelled at him for burning under the sun and that now he disobeyed his command. It was enough from anger. He hit hard on his ass. Well, the hard he thought Murdoc would please and wouldn’t hurt him. He waited him to count or tell if he was okay or wanted more. He pulled the leash so it would be more evil as Murdoc would be choked counting.

Murdoc was still shaking in anticipation as Stuart caressed his back and grabbed his ass. Looked down at the ground waiting.

Then Stuart told him to count and apologize. He nodded his head, "Yes, sir...." he said, biting his lip. He suddenly felt the whip hit his ass hard. He savored the pain, letting out a whine that was choked out by him pulling the leash. The skin stung where he hit it and he trembled. He could hardly get a breath out, but he knew he needed to count out.

"One...." he whispered out breathlessly. His hands went to the collar, and his tongue hung out in delight, drool starting to drip down it. "Harder...." he managed to get out.

From where Stuart was he could see he was.... drooling.... ? His cock twitched under him. Murdoc really liked to be punished huh? Stuart made the second even harder, his hand now trembling in anticipation after seeing the sweet marks he left on his skin. It was a delightful sensation once he discovered he didn’t want to stop anymore. he harshly grabbed the hand that was going to the collar placing it again on the right place "I said hands on back" he smacked him a third time even angrier.

Murdoc did well his four times, but to be honest Stuart wanted much more than 5. He did it so hard he could already see the marks swollen… he smiled rubbing his fingers against them admiring his work. Each time Murdoc jumped and he felt the urge to go even harder. He hit him one last time, hardest of all thinking about all the humiliations he made him go through forgetting the urge to ask him if he was okay. He had the safe words he could use. He waited him to count so he could praise the Satanist.

He had just discovered the mean and dominant part of him that was sleeping soundly till now. He wanted to fuck Murdoc much more now and make him come screaming his name. Screaming he was his. He loved the man squirming under him, he loved his trust and the power he gave him. He loved everything about him, even if it was Stuart breaking him. he would place everything back into place with his love.

Murdoc whimpered with the next hit. He counted it out. It was hard and exactly what he wanted. He loved the throbbing from the hits. When Stuart took his hands away from his collar and put them behind his back where they were supposed to be, he nodded enthusiastically, telling Stuart he understood.

His tongue lolled out and drool dripped down after each hit. He trembled in anticipation and from the adrenaline of each hit. He let out a small whimper when the singer touched the whelps forming.

"Oh fuck...." he whispered, shivering violently. The throbbing was delightful. He wanted more. He counted after each hit as best he could, jumping after each hit. The pressure on his throat mixed with the shaking and pain made him breathless, so he had to try hard to get it out.

After Stuart hit him for the last time, Murdoc cried out a bit. It was a hard hit and it stung so good. "Five......" he whispered out, his body going limp as he lay there, exhausted from the experience. His dick was hard and pressing against Stuart's thigh. He could feel precum dripping from it.

He gathered himself for a moment before moving again. Then he slid off Stuart's thighs, getting on his knees. He could feel his ass throbbing, especially if even the slightest thing brushed against the marks. When he was between his legs he looked up at Stuart, his eyes glossed over with love and lust. He would do anything for Stuart right now. Anything the singer asked. He started the next command Stuart had given him.

"I'm sorry.... I’m so sorry...." he whispered. He made a motion towards Stuart's cock, wanting to lick it, but he knew he didn't have permission. He looked up pleadingly at Stuart.

Stuart could say he almost felt bad for what he had done. But now it was time for a reward. Murdoc seemed okay and he was in the command still. He smiled to him fondly. He let go of the leash.

That pleading look almost broke his heart, him obeying his order to apologize.... it made his heart race...... he knew now Murdoc really trusted him. He leaned closer the Satanist kissing his lips multiple times "You did so well love.... I'm proud of you... And I forgive you, don’t worry......" he whispered looking into his eyes. "I love you Mu’doc.... so much" he told him "don’t you ever forget that...." he wiped the drool falling from his chin and kissed his forehead. He looked at him once again noticing Murdoc was hard as rock. Maybe pain was something he was really into, it made him not regret anymore what he did.

 He tried really hard that Murdoc forget about the pain in his back, as a little voice in the back of Stuart's head was telling him he shouldn’t have hurt Murdoc. Maybe his conscience… but alcohol put it back to sleep.

He sat back noticing he was eager to suck him. He spread his legs a bit and offered him his reward "suck me.... make me nice and wet so i can fuck you hard the way you deserve from being a good boy for me...." he whispered to him caressing his face. His eyes went back to black.

Murdoc smiled at all the caressing and sweet touches. His heart was racing and he swallowed. He slowly leaned over and put Stuart's cock in his mouth quickly. He made sure to make it sloppy and drool filled. The spit was running down Stuart's cock as he bobbed his head up and down quickly.

After a few minutes, he took in his cock fully, swallowing it. He choked and gagged a little, keeping Stuart's cock down his throat. He slid his head back a little, gasping but keeping Stuart's cock in his mouth. He looked up at Stuart, hoping he was doing okay. He moaned around Stuart's cock, taking it in more.

Stuart moaned loudly when Murdoc took his length.... "Oh fuck love.... you're so gorgeous.... Your mouth is so perfect...." he praised him caressing his hair. He didn’t force Murdoc to anything or pulled the leash.... he just enjoyed the moment. He looked into his eyes for a moment and his thumb rubbed his cheek. He smiled fondly than moaned again.

He felt he was really close after all the work Murdoc had with his skillful tongue. He could be mean and cum leaving him horny and helpless.... but no he couldn’t do it. He loved Murdoc too much to do that. He took off Murdoc's mouth from his cock slowly and bend over looking at him. His eyes were full of love, lust and devotion. He never felt so much adoration for a person ever before. He licked his lips, his heart on his throat, so in love with the man kneeling in front of him.

"You.... want me...... to make you mine, Muds....?" he told him in a low tone "Tell me how bad you want me to fuck you.... And I'll make you cum so good...." he looked down to his hard cock "I can help you with that, love...." he smirked evilly. Brushing his fingers really ghostly on his cock to tease him... His nose was inches apart from Murdoc's. He held him chin with his other hand. "Huh Muds....?" he whispered lowly rubbing his nose against his.

Murdoc whimpered when Stuart had him pull away from his cock. He worried for a moment that he'd done something wrong. Then he saw the singer’s eyes. He knew Stuart was having a good time by the look in his eyes.

He nodded eagerly, breathless, his heart beating out of his chest. He wanted to cum so bad. He wanted Stuart to make him cum and scream. He wanted the singer to make him his.

"Please...." he begged breathlessly, "Please make me yours... please." He tried to get closer to Stuart, he wanted some type of release. "Please fuck me.... I need it. I need it more than anything Stuart. I'll do anything. I'll beg, take more hits, whatever. Please Stu." He pleaded, his eyes starting to water. He bit his own lip in anticipation.

Stuart loved hearing him begging that way and his eyes watering.... Murdoc was totally his. But as he was totally in control he wanted to make Murdoc go over the edge.

He laid the Satanist really carefully as his back was really sore and pecked his lips. "I won’t hit you anymore love.... you're good for me..." he clarified him, no more needs to punish. He went back to the table while Murdoc was still laying adverting, "no touching" when he left. He went back with the cuffs and the lube quite quick ‘cuz he was already feeling sorry for Murdoc.

When he came back He tied his hands to the back part of the bed above his head, not too tight as he didn’t want to Murdoc hurt his wrists if he tried pulling. He managed to put the leash on the back of the bed tied as well "Love, if you lift your body from the mattress or try to lift your head, you'll be choked okay...?" he smirked. "I want you to be good." He straddled on the Satanist, laughing a bit drunk.

"I won’t tie your legs but i want them spread for me all the time, did you get that? If you try to close them I'll punish you, again. If you do well you will be able to touch me kiss me do whatever you want afterwards" he warned grabbing the lube and kneeling in front of him lubbing himself and after Murdoc. "Are you okay with all that? I wanna hear out loud." he ordered pressing a finger inside him.

Murdoc listened to everything eagerly. He tested the restraints just slightly, seeing how tight they really were. They indeed would choke him it he tried to move much. He smiled and nodded, promising to be good. His crotch was aching at this point, he could feel his cock leaking precum.

Murdoc swallowed, "Yeah.... I'll be good baby. I promise." He grunted as Stuart pushed a finger inside him. He arched his back, he could feel the collar starting to choke him slightly. He loved it. Everything felt a hundred more times intense as he was being choked. He may have just found himself a new kink.

He lowered his body to breath. To be able to breath, enjoying Stuart's finger. He let out a low moan. He couldn't look up to look at Stuart without getting choked, so he just looked at the ceiling and had to rely on touch. He tried to remember to keep his legs spread.

Stuart chuckled. The leash part he wasn’t really thinking about .... but well it worked. He spread his legs and pressed himself into him. He moaned lowly doing that. He knew Murdoc was eager so he quickly replaced his fingers with his cock but was careful to go inside him.

After some moments, he was totally inside Murdoc. He waited some moments so he could get used to the sensation. He wanted to fuck him so bad, but he found that teasing him was really fun. Maybe a new kink big Murdoc Niccals melting only for him. As he had his hands free he decided to play with him a bit more.

Once inside him he managed to kneel and keep Murdoc's ass a bit lifted. he could totally see himself inside  Murdoc, his legs totally spread for him, something that he wasn’t used to look at.... it was so fucking hot. He looked up, Murdoc's face was red and he couldn’t look at him without being choked.... he giggled.

Soon he wasn’t moving still he began playing with his nipples pinching them and scratching his skin on his sides to tease him a bit more. Stuart was playing with Murdoc unable to touch him, as drunk as he was it felt amazing and very interesting. he bit his lips holding back his own moans and held Murdoc's cock giving it a good stroke and moved his hips once inside him he knew that in that position he would hit his prostate in another way but he was still able to fuck him. it was something delightful. He wished he could have done this long ago.

He held him by his thighs ready to move but wanted to make Murdoc cry wanting for him. He knew next time he would be totally screwed in sex, Murdoc would murder him. But for now he just looked at him "who you belong to, Muds....?" he asked teasingly his tiny nails digging into his thighs ready to fuck him. "Say it and I'll be merciful with you...."

Murdoc hissed when the singer entered him. It hurt a little to be stretched suddenly like that but he got used to it quick and it felt delightful. He moaned and stuck his tongue out again, panting.

He tried to look up at Stuart but couldn't. He growled a little frustrated, pulling on the restraints. He got even more frustrated as the singer grabbed his cock. He let out a low moan, arching his back a bit. He got frustrated when the singer wasn't fucking him. He tried to fuck himself by moving his hips but he was stopped by the restraints again and he ended up choking himself.

He relaxed and panted, looking up at the ceiling, "I belong to you Stuart. I love you Stuart. I belong to you and only you, no one else." He pleaded. He couldn't read Stuart's face since he couldn't see it. He pulled on the restraints once more, upset. "Please Stu. I'm only yours! Please fuck me." He cried out.

Stuart was almost laughing seeing Murdoc that way.... his idea actually worked so he began slamming inside him mercilessly after all this humiliation. He couldn’t tell he wasn’t turned on by it.

Soon he was over the Satanist completely fucking him hard and kissing him the best he could. He was rough and sloppy doing that as his head was dizzy from alcohol. He marked Murdoc he best he could. Biting his neck his shoulders he even bit his lower lip so hard it cut, never stopping thrusting into him. He could say he missed Murdoc touching him but was all part of the plan.

His hands kept him close all the time, hugging Murdoc by his shoulders. He moaned his name and multiple times "I love you" against his ear. It was like a gratitude mantra. He wanted Murdoc cumming for him and screaming his name. He lifted his head a bit to look into his eyes.... Murdoc made the sweetest faces when Stuart fucked him, he was so beautiful. he hid his face again against his chest.

Murdoc grunted loud when the singer slammed into him hard. "Ah! Fuck yes, Stuart!" He yelled out, panting and arching his back as much as he could without choking himself. He needed to be able to breathe with as hard as Stuart was fucking him.

When Stuart leaning over him and started fucking him hard, kissing him, he moaned into his mouth. He tried pulling on the restraints around his wrists as much as he could muster but of course they wouldn't budge.

He loved when he started biting him. He felt every single one of the bites and moaned out Stuart's name with each and every one of them. When he tasted the blood from Stuart biting his lip, he smiled in pure bliss.

The entire time Stuart thrust into him he moaned out louder each and every time. He moaned in unison with Stuart, also moaning out, "I love you". He didn't try to keep his voice low at all. He screamed it out. He screamed out his love for Stuart, he screamed out Stuart's name, and he screamed for the singer to fuck him harder and make him cum because he was his.

"Oh fuck yes Stu! I'm gonna cum, please let me cum!" He cried out, panting. There were tears in his eyes, a few spilling out. He wrapped his legs around the singer’s waist, trying to push the singer further into him.

Stuart noticed how badly he wanted him. And Murdoc would have him. He nodded enthusiastically and whispered into his ear teasingly, noticing his tears "Love of my life.... please cum for me...." and nibbled it. His hands looking for some support on the bed at this time as he was thrusting him in full force. His legs around his waist were amazing, he knew for sure he was as deep as he could inside him.

That was what Murdoc was from him, nothing less. His soul mate, his lover, his best mate. All in one man.... his loud moans and his name in his voice was all Stuart could have asked in his life. He smiled when he felt his orgasm coming. He felt so loved so complete. "Oh fuck Mu’doc...... I can’t..." he warned

Murdoc growled out, feeling himself start to cum after Stuart told him it was okay. "Oh fuck, Stuart I'm yours!" He cried out. He could feel himself shoot sticky, thick ropes of cum over him and Stuart.

He arched his back, feeling himself choke as he pulled on the restraints, but he didn't care. The intensity of the orgasm was too much to try to focus on anything else. He tightened his legs around the singer, wanting him to cum deep inside him.

Stuart didn’t have to be told twice, he came hard and hot inside Murdoc with a choked moan. He bit his neck hard suppressing his loud moan the best he could deep inside him. He felt his own eyes watering. It was really pleasuring. He held him close almost passing out over him. "Mu’doc Mu’doc...." he said panting.... "You're all mine...." he agreed with him.

Soon, after some moments he recomposed himself ‘cuz he couldn’t let Murdoc the way he was. He needed to see if he was hurt. He carefully and still panting pulled off him and took off the cuffs and the collar rubbing his wrists and neck in a caring way "Love, are you okay....?" he whispered looking worried. He wiped Murdoc's tears smiling to him.

Murdoc was panting, still reeling from his intense orgasm. He felt the singer wipe his tears and he looked at him smiling. He couldn't talk for a minute. He looked at the singer lovingly.

"Yeah...." he said breathless, "yeah, I'm okay love. Thank you so much.... That was.... mind altering ." He laughed and hugged the singer close to him, nuzzling into him. He was sore and his body throbbing all over from the bites, whips, and everything else.

"Thank you Stu.... I love you so much...." he whispered and repeated over and over again, hugging him close.

Stuart hugged him back lovingly.... "I love you too Muds.... may I take care of you now....?" the best way he thought about apologizing with him and telling him how he was happy with him was pampering him now. "I know you're sore..." his tone of voice was the most soft of all. he caressed his black hair.

 "God you're a blessing in my life...." he whispered tightening the hug. He meant that. now he had sobered up a bit. "Please, please never leave me...... I can’t function without you...." he kissed his head multiple times, his dominant self, leaving him fast being replaced for a needy and sweet one.

Murdoc pet the singer’s back smiling wide. "I will never leave you Bluebird. We're meant to be...." he whispered. "Uh.... yeah you can take care of me love. If you really want." He chuckled.

He was the happiest he'd ever felt at that moment. He almost didn't want to let the singer go. He felt so much love, he was almost a little overwhelmed. He pet the singer’s back and hair a few more minutes.


	46. Romantic

Stuart smiled to him back happy he was allowed to take care of him. He stood up and took a deep breath going to hold him again in his lap. He carried the Satanist back to the bathroom to wash him. If he could he would make to the bath inside as he thought Murdoc wouldn’t be able to walk.

He gently put him on the floor, like millions of times before he did that with the singer. He turned the shower on and sat behind him, allowing Murdoc to lay against him changing roles a bit. He stood there a bit only holding him unable to say anything after all that happened. He grabbed the soap and started washing him sweetly, praising him a bit. "I.... love you." he whispered with a smile kissing his face.

His hands were careful and weak, so different from the rough blows he gave Murdoc. His slow brain was trying to process everything that happened and trying to not feel bad seeing him hurt and bruised by Stuart's hands. he couldn’t help but feel guilty and a bit bad. He looked at his neck with hickeys and couldn’t even imagine how his rear was. He felt something was wrong and wanted to apologize to Murdoc. He was just confused for his first time.

Murdoc laughed when the singer picked him up and brought him to the bathroom. He had the biggest smile on his face as Stuart sat behind him. He was quiet though and Murdoc could tell he was...... upset or something was wrong. He turned around to look at him.

"You okay Stuart?" He was worried he may have overwhelmed the poor singer. Scenes like that could be tough for the first timers. He grabbed his hand and kissed it gently.

Stuart jumped when he heard his voice.... "I'm just thinking Muds.... I'm just......" he looked at him. "Feeling bad I hurt you." he said all at once and bowed his head embarrassed. "I'm stupid.... that's all... " he whispered focusing in washing him. "I'm not processing what happened...." he confessed. "Please don’t be mad at me...." he grabbed the shampoo a moment.

Murdoc's face fell hearing him. He wasn't able to process everything he did. He should have seen that right away. Stuart was more of a sweet soul, he wouldn't be completely comfortable hurting Murdoc. He turned around and got on his knees in front of Stuart. He stopped himself from hissing from the pain. He put his hands on either side of Stuart's face and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Hey.... Stu.... don't feel bad, yeah? I wanted the pain. I wanted you to do all that to me. I never felt like it was out of my control, you know? Otherwise I would have told you to stop......" he kissed his forehead.

"But you know Stu.... those safe words are for you as well even when you're dominating. If you don't feel comfortable, tell me. But I can absolutely tell you I wanted you to do that to me. I relished in it." He gave him a sweet smile. He didn't know why he liked it.... maybe he felt he deserved it? He didn't bother trying to analyze it.

"Please Stuart. Talk to me." He whispered, giving him another quick kiss.

Stuart listened to his words carefully. Murdoc was right he wanted that. His brain that was slow and not processing. He nodded to him looking into his eyes feeling slightly embarrassed for acting like that. "Just gimme a time to assimilate all that Muds.... please...." he felt so good hurting him before.... why all of a sudden it didn't feel right anymore?

He looked down "You.... hurt me so many times before in life... that i felt right what I was doing with you. I got angry.... i wanted to be mean with you....but... I wanted to do right to please you." he shook his head finding odd the way he was talking about his own self. He didn't know it it was the alcohol or himself. " Why you like so much to be hurt in sex, Muds....? I mean you were beat up all your life.... you weren't suppose to like pain...." He whispered lowly. It was a stupid question but oh well. He bit his lip.

For the singer sex was something much simpler than domination and submission.... Murdoc was opening the doors of this whole new world to him that his brain didn't get the idea yet.

Murdoc's shoulders slumped when he heard Stuart talk about Murdoc hurting him. He thought he understood the problem. Stu was trying to cope with why he felt the way he did. He had liked hurting Murdoc and he was worried it was because of residual feelings from Murdoc hurting him.

"Shit...." he whispered, leaning in and kissing his forehead after brushing his head back. "Christ, I'm so sorry Stuart. I should have thought about that...." he should have realized Stuart might second guess his choices after a scene like that. He didn't perform the proper aftercare for Stuart. He also didn't know how to answer him for the second part of his answer but he'd try. He sighed, preparing himself, he needed to explain this to the singer.

"Look.... what happened between us is what is referred to as a 'scene'. It's a mindset you get into specifically for some instances of BDSM sex. You're experiencing a drop. It's suddenly experience immense sadness or confusion after an intense scene when all the endorphins and adrenaline is gone. What you did was not because you suddenly wanted to hurt me Stuart. You just used that to do what you knew I wanted. I know you Stuart, you wouldn't ever want to hurt me like that. What we do in a scene is not a reflection of who you truly are." He kissed his forehead again.

"I don't know why I like to be hurt. I like to be the submissive from time to time as it allows me to give up a degree of authority and control in a situation.... one where I allow that to happen as opposed to having it forcefully taken, you know? I like to go a step further and get hurt because.... I think a part of me thinks I deserve it, but mainly I think it's because I like being able to trust someone on that level. I trusted you Stu. I trusted you to hurt me, but not.... torture me, does that make sense? It's the type of close bond I think I always needed...." he whispered. He looked down a little embarrassed. He never tried to analyze it, but as he talked it just made sense.

Stuart began listening to him once again. He felt bad he could have messed up something. He bit his lip and his shoulders fell too. He got the idea of scene. And it was exactly what he was feeling.... confused and sad in his first time. And he wasn't suppose to feel like this. He was just overthinking again.

Murdoc was right, if he was sane he wouldn't dare to touch a strand of his hair without permission. He just felt the urge to hurt him but it was not his real self, right? It was alcohol arousal and Murdoc begging him, right?

"I think I understood Muds...." he whispered back "You.... showed me that you're not submissive just in bed I can tell you.... you like to be spoiled and.... treated well in real life too....especially by me" he smiled caressing his face "I'm doing all this ‘cuz.... I want you satisfied.... I'll learn how to deal with it eventually I promise. If you please lemme take care of you afterwards...." maybe with time he would see the marks he left him as something good and not mean.... maybe. Maybe he would stop feeling guilty for hurting him. Stuart was already so hurt in life that making other people suffer was something he wasn't used with a person who really wanted to be hurt.

"We can keep this close bond if you really like it...... but I'll never think you deserve this okay? It's all part of the...... game if I can call this a game. I was a bit mad at you at first.... I must say. I needed to think about another stuff to make me want to hit you....But...." he was just confused.

He looked at him "I see when you.... are satisfied and.... delighted after you punished me.... I just.... thought I’d feel the same seeing the marks on you.... but besides love marks.... I don't feel good seeing you hurt ‘cuz of something I did.... so please lemme take care of you and.... gimme some time to process all that." He was being honest. Murdoc wanted to be hurt and he gave him that. But he didn't feel the way he thought he should afterwards. He just couldn't understand why.

The other thing that made him even more nervous was that he wouldn't feel good doing that and Murdoc wouldn't be satisfied without it... Maybe look for another person that can do better, that can do sober.... no, no time for that. He swallowed and looked to his cross going to grab it to play as he was really nervous now. He sighed lowly "Was I good Muds....? I did well....?" He said not looking into his eyes. Maybe he did good the problem was just what was happening after.

He felt stupid and ridiculous for all that. He just didn't want to see what be did to Murdoc. He felt guilty. It was all his rational part talking to him now he was sober. He would have to work on that.

Murdoc frowned, a bit sad. The singer said he wanted to take care of him, and he'd definitely let him do that if that's what it took to feel better for him. He kissed the singer’s forehead again and nodded.

"Love, you were perfect. I loved every minute of it. You were one of the best I've ever had. Really." He smiled and pet Stuart's wet hair.

He turned back around and sat on his ass again, gingerly. He tried to keep himself from sharply inhaling from the pain caused by the whip marks. They felt wonderful but he wasn't going to say that right now. As he turned around, he made sure to let Stuart keep playing with his necklace. So it stayed in place, with the cross now behind him as he sat facing forward again.

He kept looking forward, waiting for Stuart to calm down and do what he felt he needed to take care of him. He wondered for a moment if there was something wrong with him for liking this kind of stuff. He really like it though. He shivered just thinking about how intense his orgasm had been. He shook his head, he'd think about that later.

He leaned back against Stuart, hoping Stuart was doing okay. His hand went down and rubbed one of Stuart's thighs gently, trying to remind him he was okay.

Stuart smiled a little to his compliments. Feeling a little better. At least he was good. He took some deep breaths to calm himself down. There was nothing wrong with feeling pleasure with pain.... He was just traumatized and not used with that due to the way he was raised. But he shook his head and tried not to think about that. He would act like nothing had happened.

He stood up and offered Murdoc to do the same, maybe sitting wasn't a good thing when you got hit in your ass, he should have thought better.

Once with them both standing he offered him a fond smile and grabbed the shampoo again to wash the Satanist's hair. But he didn't say a word. Just thinking about what happened. He swallowed what he was feeling bad and focused in take care of Murdoc. He just hoped He liked it. His touches were gentle and calm, really different from what had happened before. He rubbed his neck where he pulled the leash and kissed his both red wrists.

He really wish he felt good of what he did. But for him someone who had already suffered from beating so much in life like Murdoc... He didn't deserve more in Stuart's head... He entered in front of him when Russel wanted to punch him.... he was confused. Well he would deal with that eventually. He bit his lip and smiled once more looking shyly to him. "You.... said you wanted to mark me... But... I think I marked you...." he tried to joke in a low tone, forcing a giggle.

Murdoc smiled and reached up to the bite marks he'd left. He couldn't see them but he could feel them. They throbbed slightly. He knew, if he looked at them, he'd see the bite marks with a gap where his teeth were missing.

"I never want them to go away...." he whispered and grabbed Stuart gently by the chin, bringing him down so their lips can meet. He gave him a sweet and gentle kiss. He put his forehead against Stuart's. He wanted to comfort the singer, he could tell the singer was still upset.

He looked into his eyes, "You, love, are the most wonderful person I have had the pleasure of hitting with my car." He chuckled. "Listen to me Stuart. You are a sweet, kind individual. You are the complete opposite of me and that's why we work so well. I enjoyed what we did, but please just remember, you can tell me no. Okay? I won't ever make you do something you don't want...." he whispered.

He barely pressed his lips against Stuart's and whispered, "You are my singer, my best mate, my love." He was feeling really intimate right now. He usually was after a good scene, it was rare.

Stuart couldn’t help but giggle with his joke. "Well I bet you didn’t hit many more people after me.... guess I'm special...." Stuart looked to him "Not at all Muds...." he booped his nose.... "You're lovely and sweet when you want too......" he winked to him. Stuart could be really rough and Murdoc really soft.... that's why they fit so well together. He had just found out it, and it was a lovely surprise.

 He placed a hand on his face. "I'll remember, promise......" he whispered to him. Then he heard his sweet words.... "See......?" He whispered back with a smile. "We're not that opposite, my Muds...." he wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "I love you...... I want to spend the rest of my life with you...." he looked at him fondly all his fears washed away. he looked down to his marks passing his fingertips on them. They looked a bit odd without front teeth.

He looked back to Murdoc.... "Muds... Can you.... bite and.... Mark me too......?" he looked to him pleading. "I-I'd really like it...... but if you don’t want that's okay too......" he looked down "I missed it...." he confessed blushing hard.

Murdoc smiled devilishly at the singer’s request. "Of course my little Bluebird, I'll mark you whenever and wherever you like. Brace yourself love." He warned. He brought the singer’s chin down again to kiss and kissed them in a soft and gentle manner. His right hand came up and went into his hair. His other rested on Stuart's waist.

He grabbed a handful of the singer’s hair, giving it a small tug, but not in a painful way. He pulled Stuart's head back for better access to his neck. He kissed his chin up to his ear, then moved down the singer’s neck.

He gave a deep growl, pulling Stuart's hips closer to him, then he kissed his neck and started sucking on one spot. After a minute of gently bruising the area, he bit down leaving a deeper, darker bruise, but didn't break the skin. He did this several more times to the singer, leaving another mark on the opposite side of his neck, one on his collarbones, and one on each shoulder. When he was done, he pulled back and admired his work.

"I've been waiting to do that what feels like forever...." he smirked.

Stuart shivered with his touches. He wanted that too, and he didn’t allow Murdoc to bit him in sex at all, now he was realizing that. He moaned lowly and whimpered a bit needy. He closed his eyes and allowed Murdoc to do whatever he wanted with him.

He felt his and without those marks he wouldn’t be complete. he smiled, Murdoc was really sexy doing that and he couldn’t wait for the next time he bottom to him.... the Satanist knew which buttons to push to make him melt. He controlled himself not to feel turned on again.

"I'm....  sorry you didn’t have the chance to do it shagging me...." he whispered still feeling his body shake with those bruises. He bowed his head resting it on his shoulder "I missed you...." he told him with a smile. Murdoc could have done much worse he wouldn’t mind at all.

his bites were like his signature, and Stuart was a black page for him to draw. "But I think that all the time we weren’t allowed to do it...... only made me want you even more...." he said softly caressing his hair as a thank you.

Murdoc wrapped his hands around the singer and held him close. "I want you all the time, but waiting to mark you really made it even harder Bluebird. You're mine...." he whispered into his ear and nibbled it.

With Stuart leaning close to him, he brought his mouth down to the singer’s shoulder and made another mark. While doing that his hands moved from his waist to his ass. He squeezed it a few times.

"I could ravage you right now Stuart.... he whispered into his ear. He rolled his hips forward into him. "I could fuck you from behind and bit your neck as I did it. Make you mine over and over again. Would you like that Bluebird?" He said in between kisses on his neck. He loved how much the singer needed him.

Stuart shivered with his touches and words. Murdoc knew how to push the right buttons. He instinctively moved his hips forward against Murdoc. one of his legs went to the back part of the Satanist's ones pulling him close clumsily.

"I'd love to...... " he whispered back. "I love when you mark me...... when you make me yours......" he purred "please love.... I did good for you.... “ He said really needy now. Rubbing his lower part against Murdoc.

Murdoc growled, he loved when he was able to turn the singer on. It made him feel powerful. He suddenly turned the singer around and pushed him up against the wall. He pressed his chest against the singer’s back and whispered into his ear.

"You did very good my love. Now you get rewarded." He pulled back for a moment and opened the shower curtain looking for lotion. He found some and quickly put a big glob on his hands. He pressed himself back against the singer.

"Hold on love, this may be a little rough." He warned as he stuck two fingers into the singer, stretching him out slow, but faster than usual. His other hand pushed the singer’s head gently into the wall and held him there so he couldn't move.

"Let me know if you need me to stop." He said quickly. He really wanted the singer to be as honest as possible because when Murdoc got rough, he was really rough.

Stuart felt the cold wall against his face. He smiled. He couldn’t deny that he missed this dominant Murdoc as well. That man was the best of both worlds. He just nodded to his statements.

He moaned with those two fingers. His hands went to the wall so he could have a little more balance.... he spread his legs and lifted his rear, desperately needing him. He wiggled a bit on his fingers blushing really hard "Muds...." he said lewdly then bit his lips. For now he didn’t want to stop. He was more worried about Murdoc than falling on the slippery floor. "Please...."

Murdoc smirked, "oh you are a naughty boy." He whispered into his ear. He inserted a third finger, slowly. He moved them in and out slowly while he teased his shoulders with little nibbles but no bites.

"How bad do you want me in you Stuart?" He asked. "Tell me exactly what you want me to do......" he teased. His hand remained on his head so he couldn't move it. He pressed his erection against the singer’s ass to tease him as well.

Stuart moaned with the third finger.... “Your naughty boy...." He whispered again wiggling his hips "I want you to fuck me.... please.... " he bit his lip "rough slow hard soft.... Anyway you want is what I need Muds...." He said really needy. "Just... Please...." one of his trembling hands went to the back part of the Satanists thigh and pulled him close against his ass

"I want your cock up in my ass...." He hoped it was precise enough for Murdoc and bit his lip hard saying things that sly. He didn't know what came to him.... maybe all that dominance made him crave for some submission.

Murdoc snickered and pressed his fingers further up into Stuart, spreading him. "You are my naughty boy, Stu. But you were so good telling me what you wanted so I suppose I should reward you, yeah?" Without waiting for an answer, he took his fingers out, lines himself up with his entrance and pushed in.

He put his hand over the singer’s mouth and pulled him back a bit so the singer’s back was up against him and he could press himself as far as possible into Stuart. He enjoyed his muffled moans and squirming. He didn't even wait for the singer to adjust, he just started thrusting in and out of him. He licked and nibbled the back of his neck as he did so.

Stuart screamed behind his hand and moaned his name loudly.... He felt his knees giving in and his rear hurting. He thought how Murdoc was able to do that after the whip. He was really a sex god and Stuart missed him for long enough.

His eyes stung with tears as Murdoc began moving inside him. Soon he was screaming his name and crying in pleasure much like Murdoc did before. He held the best he could against the wall and lifted his hips so Murdoc could access his was fully. He bended down completely given to him.

After some time of choked moans, he managed to say "Please bite me Muds.... Oh God... pull my hair...." He began drooling and his eyes were half closed. His prostate being hit hard was driving him crazy and soon the pain was bearable.

Stuart felt so good to be inside, and his muffled cries and moans sounded like music to his ears. Murdoc kept slamming into him as hard as he could. He wanted to bite the singer so hard as many times as he could but he wanted to save it for the end. He wanted to tease the singer just a little longer.

He stopped thrusting, fully inside the singer and got up to his ear. "I want you to remember one thing Stuart. You're mine. Your love is _mine_. Your voice is _mine_. Your soul is _mine_. Now I want you to say it. Who do you belong to?" He whispered in a low gravely voice. He nibbled the singer’s ear lobe.

Stuart nodded frantically to his statements how could he forget? "You...." He gasped "you... I belong to you and only you Mu’doc...." He closed his eyes  "I fucking love you so much it hurts...... I love your voice, your body, your-fuck- cock Mu’doc.... it feels so good inside me...." He whispered shivering while more tears fell from his eyes. "Please love.... I can't be no one else's......" He confessed pressing his ass against Murdoc.

Murdoc smirked wildly, that was exactly what he wanted to hear. He pulled almost all the way out of Stuart, and at the same time he placed his lips against the back of Stuart's neck. Within a second, he bit hard into Stuart's neck, drawing a little bit a blood while also slamming hard into the singer. He came hard, thrusting into him a few more times as he held onto Stuart's neck. His hands were gripping Stu's hips hard.

He even released a loud moan while cumming. This orgasm was almost as good as the one he just had. He was shaking slightly from the intensity.

Stuart cried even more when he felt his skin breaking from Murdoc's bite. he felt like passing out when Murdoc came inside him. He didn’t need much more to cum too. soon he moaned his name and once again came that night.... His mind was totally blank when it happened.... He pressed his face against the cold wall and looked for one of the Satanist's hands holding it firmly looking for some support with his knees giving in. "Muds.... I'm gonna fall..." he whispered warning. He was feeling dizzy and the sting around his neck felt so good now.... he only hoped Murdoc felt as good as him. He was smiling dumbly with his face covered in tears.

When Murdoc finished and heard the singer warn him that he was going to fall, he squeezed his hand and pulled out of him. "Hold on, love." He said, as he helped lower the singer back to the sitting position on the shower floor. He felt a little wobbly himself so he sat behind Stuart and had him lean back into him.

He was breathing hard and smiling, his arms wrapped around Stu, embracing him tightly. "Fuck, Stu. That was amazing...." he whispered. He looked at the singer’s neck and saw it still bleeding. He wiped away the droplet’s of blood forming on the surface. The bite was dark red and bruising quickly. That one looked painful. "Sorry love, that bite must have hurt...."

Stuart helped him go to the floor again. He couldn't help he ate little pizza and drank a bit more than he should. So he felt weak. Last time he came twice at least he was laying on the bed not standing.

Once on the floor Stuart managed to calm himself down a bit. Once his adrenaline was down He felt the sting on his neck. He gently rubbed his fingertips on it... It looked really hurt. Everyone would ask about that. He smiled.

"I didn't even feel it Muds...." He chuckled. He was really busy having an orgasm. "I liked it.... don't need to apologize my love.... I like when you mark me...." He purred against him. "Thank you Muds.... you're the best.... i never thought I’d have a boyfriend so bloody good in sex."

Murdoc chuckled and hugged Stuart tighter. "You're not too bad yourself love." He said, putting his head on the singer’s shoulder. After a while, he grabbed the shampoo and washed both their hair. He absolutely loved Stuart's hair. He could play with it all day.

When they were finished, he helped Stuart up and helped him dry off. He dried himself off, careful of his ass marks. They stung from any rough brush. He looked at Stuart's bites in the mirror and grinned from ear to ear with them. He'd never really been marked like that before. He liked it.

Stuart took some time looking at his marks as well.... no one had even been that rough with him. He grabbed his hand and pulled him close....

He took a moment looking to them on the mirror. He held him by his waist "I think we're a beautiful couple Muds.... don't you think....?" He joked looking at his face through the mirror. "I have a beautiful boyfriend...." He purred rubbing his face against his hair as he was taller. In the mirror, they could see their height difference clearly. This and a lot of other details.

Murdoc looked at both of them in the mirror together. It was the first time he'd seen them together, especially half naked. He hadn't even watched their kiss yet on the live show. He blushed a little, it was odd seeing himself together with anyone like this, especially Stuart.

Murdoc gave Stuart a small smile. "You look incredibly pale." He chuckled. He liked it though, the bites showed up well on his skin. He hoped everyone gets to see them and know Stuart is his. He brought his hand up and ran it through Stuart's wet blue hair. Jt was even darker when wet.

Stuart giggled seeing him blushing. Murdoc was really lovely sometimes.

"Bet you enjoy it huh?...... a sheet of paper for you to paint as you like...." he joked And looked at him. He leaned into his touch closing his eyes.... "Muds...." he whispered. "I'm so in love with you...." he smiled.

Murdoc smiled wide, "oh shit.... you're going to make me soft Stu." He laughed and kissed him. "Hell... I already am. So much has changed over the last couple weeks......" he thought back to when he had first come back.

He looked up at Stu with a smirk, "You were a little fucking shit when we got back together." He chuckled. He'd oddly liked it though. He thought it was kind of hot of the singer. "You remember that?" He asked.

Stuart giggled adorably. "I have to agree with you.... we changed a lot.... but for better innit?" He looked at the Satanist next to him. He was so short without his heels.

He blushed hard in embarrassment. "I-I do.... and.... well I almost screw my change to make a movement to you being.... and asshole..." he told him smiling now "I'm sorry for that...." he smiled running his fingers through his head. "I know you prefer when I'm dominant in bed.... but in life I know how I can turn into a jerk...." he leaned closer kissing him. "I'm glad we get back together Muds.... and.... I hope we don't have to be apart again.... ever...."

Now things changed. It wouldn't be a hiatus.... they could break up or something if they were apart. Especially if Murdoc is arrested again.

Murdoc thought for a moment. "Would you wait for me if I got arrested? I mean.... it's almost inevitable unless you're planning on babysitting me all the time." He snorted.

"And don't be sorry. I kind of deserved it actually. It is fun to see you with a little spunk, you know?" He grinned. It was true. His dominant side was a huge turn on for Murdoc, mainly because no one ever truly dominated him like that. He had a few people who tried, but they were never as good.

He looked at the bites on his neck again. "Your little bite is missing it's front teeth." He teased. He loved it though, made it very unique. There was no question who it was from now. He ran a finger over them again, the grin on his face growing.

"I didn't know people needed baby sitter not to be arrested, love..." he joked back ruffling his hair childishly. "Of course I would you twat.... me and Cortez would wait for you...." he purred sweetly

"I dunno what came to me Muds.... ‘cuz I .... didn't do anything amazing but.... I think I have this reaction once I'm without you. To cover what I really feel.... by being an ass" he shrugged.

He touched his bites blushing "I.... actually never thought I could really mark without my teeth...." he confessed. They looked odd but Murdoc seemed to like them. "You really like my smile without teeth Muds? I mean I could have gone to dentist to look for new teeth y'know?" He looked again to the mirror imagining him with his smile complete. Imagining if he would like better or more beautiful with front teeth. Or even less a freak.

 He said something that was true. Stuart knew he could have treated his fractured eyes before it turned irreversible and put new teeth in the place of those missing.... maybe golden ones, he had money for that. It would be less difficult to talk to eat and maybe to bite. But he decided to leave it.

Murdoc chuckled, "Yeah well you being an ass was kind of sexy, not gonna lie Bluebird." He winked at him. "And would you really wait for me? I don't think you could, you could barely wait for me to fuck you in that shower." He teased and let out one of his nasally laughs.

Murdoc frowned when the singer talked about getting his teeth fixed. He didn't like that at all. "Your looks are what make you unique and partly why you're my front man. The girls go wild for it......" he looked down embarrassed and mumbled, "I go wild for it too...." he knew he would be upset if the singer changed his looks. He'd fallen in love with those looks. Plus how his eyes changed color was just.... wonderful, really.

"Muds who in the world would I shower with if not you....?" He joked back "of course I mean it.... I was eager for you to fuck me ‘cuz it was you, love...." he winked to him. Stuart wouldn't change him for another quick fuck. At least not at this point.

He looked at him blushing after him admitting he would go wild. "I find valid me being unique.... but the girls, fuck them...." he chuckled and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close "Why have girls if I can have a personal sex god only mine huh....?" He leaned closer his ear "I love that I can make you go wild my blackbird...." he said teasingly and nibbled his earlobe.

Murdoc shivered at his whisper and chuckled. "Easy love, work me up and I'll push you up against a wall again." He winked at him and grabbed his hand, walking them out of the bathroom and over to his room. He put on a pair of underwear and flopped down onto his bed, watching the singer with a smile.

"Get dressed nice and slow for me yeah? Make it nice.... " He smiled, biting his lip as he teased the singer. He admired the bites on his neck and shoulder. "You, my love, look absolutely stunning." He growled playfully. He was in a good mood, this day had been nearly perfect.

Stuart shrugged. He wouldn't mind be pushed up against the wall at this point. "How is your back my love....?" Stuart asked innocently.

He decided to put his underwear back again. He found it laying on the floor where Murdoc undressed him. He grabbed it going down slowly and up slowly, giving Murdoc a nice view of his ass in the process.

He put the cloth I'm the right place carefully covering his flaccid cock. "Thank you Muds for making me stunning...." he teased him a bit joining him on the bed. He laid next to Murdoc giving him a long and nice kiss.

Murdoc smirked, "My back is okay, I need more than that to make me unable to move." He winked and blew him a kiss, then laughed. He bit his lip and smiled as he watched the singer bend over and slowly put his underwear on.

"Well, Stu, you definitely didn't need me for that, you already were. I just brought out your potential." He chuckled as he gave the singer a kiss. Half way through he pulled the singer closer so he was practically lying on top of Murdoc. Then he wrapped the singer into a gentle hug.

"So.... what else do we need to film?" He asked as he held the singer. He wasn't completely tired yet  so he thought they could chat a bit.

Stuart loved that sweet hug. All he could ask after a good sex.... "Us? Nothing my lovely boyfriend...." he teased "Dare and El Mañana are Noodle's videos we don't appear in them and.... this way better not appear for sure..." he chuckled pointing to the hickeys and big marks they had "but you mentioned something about an interview in group too...." he told him sweetly playing with his cross lying on Murdoc. Not many scheduled but oh well.... "Guess we have a bit of free time...." he whispered.

Murdoc pet the singer’s hair, "oh yeah.... i think we just have to make a slight appearance in Noodles Dare video. El Mañana......" his eyes widened for a moment as the ember of an idea started to burn. El Mañana, the island. They were planning to destroy the thing for part of the shoot. If Murdoc could somehow get Jimmy on that island....

He bit his lip as he thought, forgetting about Stuart for a moment. He his mind was formulating plans left and right. Then he remembered Stuart and shook his head.

"Sorry love, just remembered something, Russel owes me money." He laughed nervously. He still didn't want to let Stuart know, the kid would get too worried, Murdoc had to take care of this.

"Anyways, since we have some free time, can I try taking you to dinner again? Promise I won't get drunk." He smiled and grabbed the singer’s hand to kiss it gently.

Stuart raised a brow to him. Murdoc was clearly lying. But about what? No not the time for ask for that....

Soon his mind was dragged to another thought when Murdoc mentioned dinner. His eyes shone and he smiled wide with the idea "so are you inviting me on a date Mudsie....?" He joked playing with his chest hair "maybe you can use the money Russ owns you and bring me somewhere nice...." he teased.

"We're about to reach...." he thought for a second... "Well some time we're together already." he blushed sounding like a teenage girl.... "How many years I know you Muds....? 8....?" he thought for a second and his eyes widened.... "Many years love......" He bit his lip "I think we can do nothing nice when we reach 10 years of friendship...." he joked.

Murdoc laughed, thankful Stuart hadn't mentioned his pause earlier, "Yes, Stuart.  I would like to take you out on a date. A few actually. Now thay we're a 'thing' I need to get used to it, yeah? And Mudsie, where did that name come from?" He rubbed the singer’s shoulder gently, enjoying just being close.

"Christ," he whispered after Stuart mentioned how long they’d known each other. "Has it been that long?" He tried to think back, it's definitely been a while. So much has happened over those last 8 years, he couldn't believe it.

Stuart giggled.... "yeah we're a thing.... not only here but.... I bet whole world knows...." he remembered their alive kiss and smiled. "I dunno, It's a sappier version of Muds I guess.... it's like Stuey for me...." he shrugged. "Do you like it....?" he asked hesitantly. Murdoc was called doc by his brother, Stuart just thought he could give him another tender nicknames. "I promise I won’t call you this in public...." he whispered cuddling him

"well for me if you consider my coma, seven years.... with the hiatus goes to 5" he couldn’t remember much about his coma year.... "but yeah, Muds.... eight crazy years with some pauses...." he said fondly. "Thanks for...... never leaving me.... Even apart I never forget you...." he just felt saying that. They couldn’t ever leave each other at this point unless something big and serious happens. " for being my lover.... and my best mate...." he kissed his chest.

Murdoc smiled and rubbed his back, "No love, it's fine, you can call me that. But only you." He said, booping his nose with his other hand. He thought it was cute. He ran his hand through the singer’s hair. After booping his nose he caressed his face and just admired him for a moment.

"Same to you Bluebird. I don't know what I'd do without you. I think we've had some pretty good times so far.... minus when he used to fight.... kind of." He felt bad. He remembered taking a lot of his frustrations out on the singer during their time together the first few years. He'd been so jealous of the singer though and it'd pissed him off. He'd never even considered dating him, even though he had considered fucking him from time to time.

Stuart giggled to his boop, he loved when Murdoc did that. He liked when they had things only them could do or knew what meant.... it was like their own language.

"I...... love when you call me Bluebird, Muds. Only you can do this too...." he said totally infatuated by the Satanist. He looked into his eyes for a moment. He found lovely how one of his eyes were deep red. "Well Muds.... even fighting i could have your attention so it was valid.... I was happy with it." he said softly. Now he could understand that their fights weren’t ‘cuz they hated each other, it was all a matter of attention.

"You were jealous of me since the beginning right?" he chuckled "I noticed how you behaved, but.... I never said anything ‘cuz you'd beat the sit outta me...." he looked at him with round black orbs "when you realized you were.... in love with me Muds....? That you wanted more than a quick shag...." he was curious about it. Asking with the innocence of a child.

Murdoc chuckled, "I have tons of nicknames for you don't I? Bluebird, Blueberry, Songbird.... Dents was obviously your biggest, most known one.... 2D. I haven't called you that in a while."

His smiled dropped as he thought about how the singer had wanted his attention so badly, he'd let himself get hit. He felt horrible about it. He just wanted to scoop Stuart into his arms and never let go of him. He had no idea how to apologize for all that.

"Yeah I was jealous...." he pet the singer’s hair. "I seem to get jealous easy don't I?" He thought about his outburst and how he'd gotten jealous of the life his half brothers got the chance to have. He was still slightly bitter, but not at them.

He pondered Stuart's question. "Well.... I'm not entirely sure Stu.... we'd been doing it a few weeks? A good month, yeah? Then you started talking and ended up crying about wanting more and a small part of me kind of felt the same, you know? So maybe when we first shagged? I liked being your first." He winked at the singer. "When did you fall in love with me?"

Stuart was almost forgetting he was 2D. The front man, the lead singer.... for him he only wanted to be Murdoc's Bluebird nothing else. He nodded agreeing.

"Yeah you get...." he chuckled. Was a part of his personality be jealous. "I was jealous about you too, Muds.... the difference was that I hid and cried when this happened.... I was too weak to yell and couldn’t get angry with you, so I hid" he chuckled bitterly "Whenever you brought someone home.... or when you flirt with someone in a party.... some of the days I told you i had a headache and hid in my bedroom, well I wasn’t that honest with you...." he smiled.

Stuart remembered him crying about it. That moment he was entirely sure Murdoc would deny him. That he had messed up everything falling in love, but.... what could he do? He was happy Murdoc didn’t kick him outta the room when he put his sweet heart out. Would he be able to be just a sex partner to Murdoc and nothing else?

"Well, Muds...." he thought about that too "Remember the day Noodle first arrived? She came to you some time after and hugged you... When we finally decided we would keep her...... and I noticed how you were touched by  that. I wondered if you ever received a genuine hug in your life besides from people you wanted to fuck......" he knew how he got touchy with people he wanted to shag, it was all interest. Horny and no connection.

"That time I wanted to be the one you could enjoy a hug, a real one y’know....? Not ‘cuz of sex...... I wanted you to feel less lonely.... “‘cuz you know how I love embraces.... But that time if I came to you offering one, oh boy, I’d be screwed" he confessed "I think it was the first time I knew I was in love with you, that I wanted to be the one you hug kiss laugh.... after that I hid all day in bedroom, remember?" he chuckled. It hurt but now he was okay with that.

Murdoc nodded, "I remember that.... that's why you hid? I thought you were in your room getting high...." he said. He looked at Stuart, feeling like an idiot. He'd been a real selfish git before, but he was right. Murdoc had never been interested in relationships or real human interaction. Noodle had been one of his first caring hugs, although he had still disliked it at the time. Stuart had been one of the first actual caring people he'd had sex with.

He looked down back at the singer and pulled him up and over so he was lying more on top of Murdoc. He then embraced him tight. "Shit, Stu.... I'm really sorry...." he whispered "How do I make it up to you?"

"Actually I was high.... but not for the reasons you were thinking...." he bit his lip ashamed. He used to get high to try to avoid his thoughts and work right. Some days they had recordings and interviews and things to do he couldn’t just skip or Murdoc would be furious.

"No.... don’t need to be sorry...." he smiled "it was me and my dumb heart all the time... you weren’t doing anything wrong...." he tranquilized Murdoc. "I'm sorry I hid and lied.... I just didn’t want to bother you with my sentimental bullshit..." he whispered. "Maybe giving me all the hugs and kisses you want is a good way of making up to me... " he smiled widely. Maybe Murdoc deserved all the blows he received and much more.

Murdoc hugged him tighter, then pulled away, and put his hands on either side of the singer’s face. He peppered his face with soft kisses, and then he gave him a deep kiss. "I think I can manage that my sweet Bluebird. Anything you need. I'll make sure you get it." He said with a sweet smile.

"You're not still getting high are you?" He asked, brushing his hair away from his face. He hated when Stuart got high. He remembered the first time he'd caught him high as a kite. He can't check pupils because, well, Stuart didn't have any to view. He was just dazed out and lethargic. It'd honestly pissed him off and he'd slapped the singer, noticing he didn't get much of a response. Then he'd punched his shoulder, still no real response. He knew what it was after that, it had scared him.

"I can’t remember the last time I got high Muds...." he told him honestly. recently he didn’t have any reason from that and he didn’t know if Murdoc cared about that.... he needed to deal with Murdoc always drunk and he didn’t like it. Now he was drinking less Stuart was popping less pills. He needed to be aware to everything that was happening ‘cuz he was living in a dream with Murdoc and didn’t wanna lose a moment of it.

"It’s not on my plans getting high anytime sooner...... not even drunk but today you asked me to...." he chuckled.

He smiled and brushed his hair back, "Good....  it used to scare the hell out of me Stuart. Is that how it was for you when I'd pass out?" He furrowed his brow, he'd never considered that.

"Suppose we aren't the greatest role models for Noodle are we?" He chuckled. That girl was so independent though, she would end up doing what she wanted anyways, but Murdoc still worried about her. She was a good kid.

"When you passed out the first time I was terrified...... you were puking and cursing.... while I heard you making noises it was okay.... but then you suddenly stopped...." his eyes widened "I really thought you died...... after that I always checked your pulse when something like that happened.... I even tried to wake up you once and I got a black eye......" he chuckled, Murdoc woke up furiously after Stuart tried to wake him up with a glass of cold water so panicking he was. “Once I tried giving you a shower.... I was hit again...." Murdoc hated when he saw Stuart trying to take off his covered in puke clothes.

"No, we're not Muds, and alcoholic an addicted and a lad full of ghosts in his head...." he shook his head "But she's a great girl and I don’t think she’s truly influenced by us...." he looked at him "She has a kind of filter, I guess to absorb only what’s good.... haven’t you seen all the times she smiled seeing us getting along and sappy....? She’s happy for us and I bet she noticed earlier than Russel" the little girl was really smart.... she would be an intelligent strong and beautiful woman. "Anyway she will always be that tiny girl who recorded with us “19-2000” and had a blast with her "Get the cool shoeshine" thing" he chuckled. Stuart really loved her.

Murdoc flinched with each story. He sounded like a total shithead; they were different from when he'd taken care of Stuart. "When you'd gotten too high to function, I'd have to pick you up and take you to a shower or bed, but you never hit me or anything. You were a dazed our mess." He thought about the times he'd been drunk and taken advantage of in bars he'd be in and would just end up rolling with it, but he wouldn't tell Stuart about those times. That's why he'd usually wake up flailing around.

Murdoc smiled when he talked about Noodle. "Remember when she had been scared to sing? You had to convince her and you promised to go out and sing with her. Made her feel better." He chuckled. "You're like her big brother." He ruffled his hair. "Wonder what that makes me?" He laughed.

"Yeah I get pretty zombiefied when I am high I can tell.... harmless...." he joked. "Thank God I had you to help me.... we both needed help I guess.... even at these shitty points we could count on each other huh?" He chuckled and kissed his lips quickly. "Thank you for taking care of me...." he blushed.

"I remember.... after singing I bought her some candy.... " he chuckled. His eyes shone with the thought he was like her bigger brother "that's nice since I don't have any siblings, Muds...." he thought for a second "You're the closest person she has as a father figure. Did you notice how tough our little girl is? She doesn’t cry, she's independent, strong, she stands for herself, she doesn't take no shit from no one...." he smiled "Remind you of someone, right love?" He was describing Murdoc.

Murdoc snickered, "Yeah she's definitely a tough little dove huh? But I don't think I have anything to do with it, she was raised as a super soldier. I'm just glad they didn't kill her like the others...." he said, thinking about a world without their Noodle. He didn't like it.

He looked down at the singer, changing tunes real quick. "You know...." he had to keep himself from laughing, "I could be your daddy." He winked and burst out laughing at his raunchy little joke. He never really had that kind of kink but he couldn't pass up the opportunity. He stuck out his tongue playfully

Stuart blushed profusely when he mentioned that. He bit his lip embarrassed.... "well I don't think daddies are fucked hard and moan loudly like a whore.... Muds...." he teased back. "It would make me yours.... What's the name again Baby boy?" He blushed even more.

"Never knew you'd be into this kind of stuff...." he said in his normal tone trying to control himself. He didn't know if it was a joke or not. His damaged brain didn't assimilate.

He thought about calling Murdoc his daddy a couple of times before already, but he didn't dare. He would call him sir, master, anything he ordered him in sex. He loved to be called sir.

Murdoc chuckled and kissed the singer’s forehead. "Nothing I ever say will turn you off of me huh?" He smiled and hugged him again. "I mean.... if you ever want to call me daddy during sex, as long as you make it sexy. I swear to Satan if you do it outside of sex I will slap you upside your gorgeous blue head." He joked.

He looked down at the singer and smirked, "I don't think you could even comprehend the kinds of kinks I have." He winked again. "You have a lot to catch up on my love."  He rubbed the singer’s back. He liked being close with him like this. They were just lying together, close. No sex. He'd never done that with anyone else. Ever. It usually scared the hell out of him.

"Well the last thing that you sounded a bit surprised was when I mentioned I found you hot with a knife.... and I meant that. " he blushed again. "And I’d love to call you Daddy...  but not in a million years in public" it would.be really embarrassing for both man. Russel would die making jokes about them. Next time Murdoc dominates him he would remember to call him daddy.

"We have whole life ahead to comprehend Muds.... before you I didn't even know I had kinks...." he chuckled. It was kinda true "You were a kink to me, love." He winked to Murdoc. "Can you please caress my hair Muds....? I like when you do it...." he asked with the sweetest of smiles.

Murdoc grinned wide, "Well I can't say no to a request from my blue haired beauty can I?" He brought his hand up and ran his hair gently through the kids hair in a gentle rhythm. He was glad the singer liked it because like liked doing it.

"So you like when I have a knife huh? Would you want me to tie you up and.... say.... I dunno, run the blade dangerously close to your skin?" He whispered seductively and growled. "Just the faintest movement of my hand would knick you.... that pretty little skin up next to a silver blade." He bit his lip, starting to get turned on imagining the singer tied up and squirming nervously from Murdoc dragging the point ever so gently down his chest. He would need to get a fake knife of course, but Stuart wouldn't know that.

"I’d love to Muds.... but the way I am it's not your movement that will cut me.... would be mine...." he chuckled knowing he was really clumsy and would get really turned on with that.

 He took a deep breath "actually you're allowed to cut me.... if you want......" he blushed. He wasn't thinking about only teasing.... he leaned into the caressing on his head. Stuart had his own secrets.

Murdoc cocked his head hearing that, one eyebrow up. "What do you mean, if I want? Do you want me to cut you Stu?" His hands stopped for a moment. He wouldn't mind doing what Stuart was in to, but he wanted to make sure it was for all the right reasons.

"Don't get me wrong, I'll do whatever kind of kink you want, but have you ever experienced that during sex?" He continued caressing him again. He'd only ever done it once, but it hadn't really been on purpose.

Stuart bit his lip for a moment. He felt like telling Murdoc. He slowly sit down on the bed.

"Maybe you never saw that, Muds.... ‘cuz my legs are haired and blue...." he showed him his thighs behind all hairs there were some cuts not ugly ones but his both thighs had cuts.... they were old and almost healed.

"It wasn't during sex, love.... ‘cuz I never trusted anyone to do it.... but I used to cut myself...." he did that on his thighs ‘cuz his parents would notice if he did on his wrists. And he was clumsy he would cut himself severely if he did that on his wrists.

"I felt good when I did it.... it relaxed me.... and actually sometimes turn me on...." he looked to the floor...."and i trust you enough to ask something like that.... I know you won't hurt me...." he find himself nervous and scared Murdoc would find him a freak. "I'm sorry...."

Murdoc swallowed, looking from the cuts to Stuart's face and back to the cuts. His heart was pounding, he was sure Stuart could hear it. He waited a moment, then slowly sat up, pitting a hand to the singer’s chest as he did so. As he sat up towards Stuart he gently pushed back with his hand so Stuart was forced to lay back on the bed.

As the singer lay there, Murdoc lifted up Stuart's leg to look at the cuts. He ran a gentle finger over them, glancing at Stuart for a second as he did it, before looking back at them. Then he gently kissed each scar he could see. Then he looked set Stuart's leg down and crawled over the top of Stuart. He leaned down and gently kissed him, his hand coming up to the side of his face and running his thumb over his cheek as he held him.

He pulled away and looked directly at Stuart. "I'll do it, but only on one condition." He whispered. He could understand the kink and it felt good to have the singer confide in him. "You have to promise me you won't ever do this on yourself ever again. We only do it for sex.... only I do it to you. Got it? And if it's not turning you on, I'm stopping immediately."

Stuart held his breath scared that Murdoc would yell at him for what he had done. Stuart nodded frantically and bit his lips. "I got it...." . He whispered, Stuart was so ashamed. No one knew about that.

"Have.... you ever cut.... someone.... Muds? Has anyone ever asked you to do that?" He asked with his face flushing in despair. He really hope he wasn’t the only one. He would find himself so weird. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before.... I'm sorry...." he said feeling overwhelmed with Murdoc over him.

Murdoc gave him a soft smile and moved the hand from his cheek to run through the singer’s hair. "Don't be sorry, you did that so long ago.... we all have our vices.... like I'm one to judge." He chuckled, trying to make the singer feel better. He knew he was feeling uncomfortable about it, he could tell by the way he was talking.

"And actually, yeah, I have. I personally don't like having it done to me, bad experience.... but I've done it to a few kinky partners. I'm not entirely uncomfortable doing it plus I know where not to cut and how deep.... if that's what you really want to do. You said no one's ever done it for you for sex so.... you might not like it." He warned gently.

Stuart tried to calm himself down.... He swallowed "See.... you know how to do it...." he whispered  " I wanna try with you.... if I don't like we always have safe words right....?" He looked at him less nervous than before and leaned closer giving him a kiss. That was one of his weirdest details and now Murdoc knew it.

Murdoc speaking in that tone of voice so experienced so comprehensive so caring so sure.... sent always shivers down his spine. He was such a tease that even those tiny explanations turned the singer on. He licked his lips mesmerized for a moment. What someone like Murdoc was doing with someone as naive as Stuart? "I trust you...... thanks for not mocking me...." he rubbed his nose against the Satanists.

Murdoc smiled and laid down onto the singer's chest. "Of course I wouldn't mock you. Thank you for sharing Stu." He smiled, but now he was a little nervous. He didn't want to hurt the singer and ruin a kink like that. It was a fragile one he needed to do with caution. It'd been a while since he'd done it, but he would definitely do it for Stuart.

He was also very happy the singer trusted him to that extent. He knew it took a lot of trust to tell someone that, but he trusted Stu to tell him what happened when he was 9 so he's glad the trust was mutual. He kissed Stuart's collarbone.

Stuart managed to place him back in the original position placing Murdoc on his chest this time  and covering then both with his sheets "You’re welcome love.... I bet will be an amazing first time...." he thought for a second "is there anything.... you have a kink or imagined me doing with you Muds... ?" He asked curiously running his fingers through his hair and kissing his forehead lovingly. Maybe there was a weird kink Murdoc would like to share or sorta.

Murdoc snorted at the sudden question. "Uh.... yeah, well one of them was the asphyxiation. I like being choked but I haven't really had anyone choke me or anything because I don't think I've ever trusted anyone.... I let you choke me a bit." He considered and smiled.

"Another would be getting fucked in public. Not in front of everyone, like behind something's fine, but the sheer thrill of it...." he gave Stuart a giddy grin. He liked the idea of it, quite a bit. That was something he'd never done yet.

"Choked huh?" He smiled "yeah I can do it.... but I would have to be really careful about cutting your oxygen... you mean with the leash, rope, hands....?" he told him softly

"And in public we did at your old school but we can try again somewhere else... Who knows a bit more.... huh? Can’t tell that i don’t like the thrill of it...." he shrugged both were good suggestions. "Thanks for sharing with me Muds.... I'd love to satisfy your kinks." He smiled widely. He thought he really could manage to do it. "I think I'd be totally satisfied in sex with you.... always" he confessed giggling.

Murdoc smiled, "Choked with hands...." he'd never trusted anyone enough to do that. It was too intimate for just anyone.  Usually if he choked during sex it was from choking himself.

"Yeah but I don't mean a hand job. I can fuckin get a tug anywhere. I mean getting shagged. Completely filled." He winked. He'd gotten blowjobs and hand jobs plenty of time before in alleyways, that wasn't as new as getting bareback fucked up against a wall. He rested his chin on the singer’s chest looking at him.

Stuart nodded. "Ill put this in  my 'to do' list, love." He giggled. "You pick a place and we see what we can do okay....?" He booked his nose lovingly. "Dating a bad boy has some advantages huh?" He joked.

His hand went to his face and hair caressing it.... "We could have started this delinquent life much earlier Muds...." he looked into his eyes.... "I love fucking you do you know that....? I never thought you'd actually bottom for me...." he confessed.

Murdoc snorted, "Really? I actually enjoy bottoming quite a bit, but no one ever asks and if they do, I have to be somewhat comfortable with it...." plus he wasn't will guys near as much as girls so he never really got a chance to.

"Hell, could you imagine us fucking after you woke up from your coma?" He laughed.  Murdoc had been too invested in getting a band started, and he was too jealous of Stuart. If he'd fucked him back then it would have been hate fucking.... which isn't actually that bad either. He contemplated the idea.

"Well if my first desire wasn’t that bloody milkshake, and I wanted you and i wasn’t severely bleeding, who knows?" he laughed "And yeah, I couldn’t imagine that the first man I'd fuck in life would be the big Murdoc Niccals.... And I actually asked for it...." he teased and kissed his forehead. "Hope you’re comfortable with a skinny clumsy lad...." He thought for a moment.

"Hey Muds.... what would happen if y'know.... we're dating now.... let's suppose I go into a coma or something again and when I wake up.... I lost my memory.... and I forget who you are." cuz it was almost what happened years ago, the difference was that they weren’t a couple before the accident. "What would you do....?" oh they weren’t going to sleep anytime soon now.

Murdoc smiled up at him, "Course I'm comfortable. When you get going you're not bad at all. It's quite hot actually...." he winked at him. He was actually really good. He wasn't sure but he thought maybe, since they were closer and trusted each other, it was better because of that. He'd never gotten to that point with anyone else.

Murdoc thought about his question. "Well.... I think it would depend.... if you woke up and hate my guts for some reason, I wouldn't force you to try to like me again. I mean, I would definitely try that Niccals charm," he gave him a charming smile, "But I wouldn't force it...." he looked down. He'd probably be hurt beyond all hell, but he couldn't say that out loud.

"But," he said continuing, "If you were willing to give me a shot, I'd seduce the pants right off you, literally." He chuckled. He thought about how nice it would be for Stuart to lose his memories of Murdoc abusing him before, but he knew it would still be heartbreaking if he lost everything they'd accomplished together. He hugged himself to the singer, upset at the idea.

Stuart rubbed his back a bit thinking about what he said. "I.... probably wouldn’t hate you.... I wouldn’t remember. The accidents that happened to me were your fault and I don’t hate you for that......" he said softly. "If something like that happened to you...... I'd be glad to show you our life to you aaall again love...." he chuckled seeing the bright side

"I think your jaw would fell knowing all the crazy stuff we did in life like it was the first time...." It would be really painful that only Stuart would remember or Murdoc wouldn’t believe they were really together before. "I'd try to conquer and make you smile with me everyday even with you asking me 'who’s the crazy blue haired black eyed freak who likes me so much?'......"

He kissed the top of his head. He knew Murdoc was upset thinking about losing him. it was understandable. "I would become a stranger to you.... and......we would have the chance to fall in love again...." he whispered to him calmly. "Once my mother told me this, Muds: Love is when you remain interesting even when you're longer a novelty." he looked into his eyes "And I'd keep loving you even if you don't love me back or even didn’t remember who I were anymore..." he smiled.

Murdoc looked up at him, incredibly sad suddenly. He thought about everything he would lose if he lost his memories. All the struggles he'd been through, while not particularly pleasant, made him who he was today. He'd lose his personality...... He'd lose his band...... he'd lose his band mates.... He'd lost his singer.... he'd lost his lover. It wouldn't be the same at all and the worse part is the idiot Murdoc who lost his memory wouldn't know any better. The only thing worse would be losing all those things and still having his painful memories in tact.

He nuzzled into Stuart's chest, hiding his face. "I think I would still fall in love with you, my blue haired, black eyed, god. Especially after I heard your angelic voice......" he whispered. He still wasn't great at being a sappy lovely dovely talker. What Stuart said to him was so sweet and he just couldn't say the right words back. He groaned in frustration and hugged Stuart closer. "Damnit, I love you Stu." He said, muffled.

Stuart giggled. Murdoc looked so adorable even thinking about situations that might never happen. But all he told the Satanist was true. He would try to convince Murdoc they were together.... if he fell in love with another person well...... he didn’t want to think about that.

His heart raced with his statement.... "I fall in love with you every day Muds...." he whispered placing him more comfortably on his chest. "I really find it beautiful.... when we actually feel how much our lives would be different if certain things had happened y’know? And the funny part is that.... most of the situations we think.... aren’t as good as what we're living now, love...... the way we get sad and scared thinking about losing each other, Muds, is touching for me...." he kissed the top of his head three times.

 "It shows how much we need each other....how much we make each other happy...." he lifted his head so he could face him "And how much I love you..." he smiled adorably. "I can’t think of my life without you in it, Muds.... It would be so...... lonely and boring" he said honestly and leaned closer the Satanist to give him a passionate kiss.

Murdoc blushed and joked, "You're making me a big softy. What will the fans think?" He rest his chin down on his chest. "Promise.... Promise me you won't leave me...." he whispered, looking into the singer’s eyes. He didn't want to sound needy, but he really needed the singer in his life. He hated being so dependent on someone as he had been raised to be the complete opposite. Now he had it and didn't want to let go.

"Would you really be bored without me Bluebird? I think you'd still have fun...." he whispered. "I know you missed me over our little hiatus with me in jail, but it looked like you met a lot of.... girls and made a lot of friends. That's just how you are." He chuckled.

"I dunno why being soft can’t be something good, love...... " he chuckled "I promise. And the fans can get used to that huh? Even more after our kiss...."

He thought for a second about what he said. "Love...... people come and go right....? They were all, distractions.... the only one I got close was Janet cuz I needed someone to rant about you and she.... had the patience for that...." he said honestly. "You had fun too before being arrested, drinking fucking and having a blast didn’t you....?" he run his fingers through his hair. "I bet when you were doing that, you weren’t thinking of me...." he chuckled, it hurt him a bit thinking about that but it was okay.

He cupped his face with both hands "Of course my life would be boring.... It would be black and white if I'd lost my partner in crime.... And I’m not talking about sex only.... you're my company, my mate, my bassist...." he smiled getting a bit emotional, they did much more than only shagging, they actually have much fun together. Even if they don’t shag anymore Stuart

Didn’t want to lose him. They had a strong bond. "Having fun or not.... I wouldn’t have you. And you make friends even in jail, Muds...." he chuckled remembering Carlos and Pedro.

He was sweet and he couldn’t help treating strangers right, he treated Murdoc's mom and her sons well, his nature was being polite and gentle. And people tempt to like him for that, even when he was clearly being just sweet not with second thoughts. He wasn’t charming like Murdoc.... he can’t lie and fake so people like him ‘cuz of what he is.... always been like that. but it didn’t mean he was interested in people who liked him.

Murdoc chuckled, "I can't be soft because I'm Murdoc Fucking Niccals. Fans find out I'm soft and, well.... I don't know what will happen but nothing good!" Smiled and winked at the singer to let him know he was joking. He really didn't care much, but it was fun to keep up that facade sometimes. He closed his eyes when Stuart ran a hand through his hair, enjoying the touch.

Murdoc thought back to when he'd been fucking all those prostitutes. He hadn't really been thinking of Stuart, at least, not in the same way Stuart was. He'd get pissed off about the thought of Stuart getting what he wanted so easily then rant about him. He even imagined hate fucking him a few times

Murdoc melted as Stuart cupped his face. It was such a sweet gesture, very intimate. "Well, without you I'd probably be dead or in jail, so I'll just say that right now." He chuckled and continued, "I make friends, but not really. I'm charming Stuart, but I don't really care.... you know? I'm just using my charm to get what I want.... you, on the other hand, are sweet my little Bluebird. Well, sometimes you can be a bit of a wanker......" he snorted and winked again.

Stuart smile rubbing his thumbs against his cheeks "Well I can’t say I didn’t fell in the Niccals charm too y’know?" he chuckled "But if you were only charm and nothing else.... you wouldn’t keep me around long love...." he told him honestly. If Murdoc was using his charm just to get the singer it wouldn’t last long.

"I can’t say I don’t like that my boyfriend is charming. though..." he chuckled "but he’s much more than that...." he whispered kissing his lips. "I can’t be charming even if I tried" he laughed. He knew he was too clumsy for that.

Murdoc smiled, feeling his heart flutter at the little movements of his thumb on hid cheeks. "You're a happy, goofy kind of charming." He snorted. "But that’s why I love you. If you were like me, I'd want to kill you." He made a biting motion, snapping his teeth together playfully.

"I love you.... you're my goofy charming Bluebird...." he whispered. He lifted up a bit and moved to kiss the singer. He smiled and stuck his tongue into his mouth, but instead of being aggressive, he just gently played with the singer’s tongue. He liked being close, it was something he'd never done before. His hands went up to play with the singer’s blue hair.

Stuart blushed and goofy smiled to Murdoc. It was fair. He had his charm too. 2 Murdocs wouldn't really work out.

He deepened the kiss the best he could allowing Murdoc to kiss him the way he wanted. He was slow and it made his sweet heart melt. His hands held his waist.... he could just gentle kiss the Satanist whole day if he could.

He slowly broke the kiss and hugged him close taking a deep breath inhaling the scent of his hair. He didn't want to be anywhere else in the world "want to sleep with me my love....?" He asked softly while his fingers tangled his hair. Feeling Murdoc that close naked was so good. He was so warm.

Murdoc smiled and hugged him. "You know I do.... tomorrow, I'm taking you out and taking you to dinner. We're gonna have a good time, yeah?"

He nuzzled into the singer and slowly drifted off to sleep. He was incredibly comfortable sleeping on his chest. He even had a dream of Stuart and him, but he couldn't remember exactly what it was about. It was blurry and vague. He clung to Stuart the entire night, sleeping so hard he drooled on his chest.

Stuart just nodded and did the same as the Satanist, drifting into a calm sleep without dreams.


	47. Music Store

The next morning he didn’t wake up well. Tequila made him have a terrible headache and hangover. He regretted a lot about drinking last night but oh well, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have the courage to dominate Murdoc.

Soon as he opened his eye,s he felt nauseated and had to run to the bathroom to puke, even before managing to put some pillows under him. He felt like all the juice, the alcohol he had and the pizza was coming back all at once. Once he managed to empty his stomach, he suddenly felt cold and started sweating.

He needed to grab his pills but he couldn’t walk properly. He managed to go to the sink and wash his mouth covered in puke and looked around for something to feel less cold. He quickly found Murdoc's purple cape and wrapped himself in it.

He felt weak and slipped till he sat on the floor shaking and with his head pounding from pain. Little tears came outta his eyes as he curled on the floor with his cape whining. He didn’t have the strength to call for Murdoc's help. He was dizzy and everything spinned.

Murdoc was almost thrown off Stuart's chest and suddenly awoken. He had only a slight headache but it was manageable. Being suddenly woken, he was a little dazed and didn't realize what was going on. He laid there as he heard Stuart run to the bathroom and hurl.

He rubbed his eyes and slowly got up with a groan. He walked over and looked for Stuart. When he saw him shaking and whimpering on the floor, his eyes widened and he felt fully awake. He run over to him.

"Shit! Stuart, come here." He helped the kid up and into the shower, sitting him down to lean against the wall in the water. He turned it on to a nice warm temperature after taking his cape off.

"Stay, I'll be right back Bluebird." He whispered petting his hair. He then ran off and got partially dressed real quick, before going to grab his pills. After getting them, he ran back to Stuart and undressed again.

He got in the shower adjusted the singer so he was leaning back against Murdoc's chest. He gave him a few pill, "Take these." He whispered, petting his hair soothingly.

Stuart half listened him and woke up a bit better when he was under the water. he let his body rest against the cold wall and closed his eyes placing both hands on his head.

Once he noticed Murdoc got back and placed him against his chest he grabbed the pills and swallowed them with the water from the shower. He didn’t care about it. He just wanted the pain to go again. He shivered and curled on his lap silently trying to calm down. His ribs hurt from hurling and his head was pounding.

He stood there crying from pain some moments.... "Hug me...... please...." he whispered feeling cold still and breathing shakily. “I’m sorry...." he closed his eyes.

Murdoc's heart broke at the shaking singer. He quickly turned up the water just a tad bit higher and hugged the singer close to him. He turned him so he was sideways against him and had him leans his head on Murdoc's shoulder.

He gently shushed him, "No, sweet Bluebird, no need to apologize." He rubbed his shoulder and kissed his forehead. He held him for a while, hoping the hot water would help his shivering.

Stuart soon stoped shivering and managed to calm himself down. After some minutes, his pills kicked and he felt better. He lifted his head a bit and looked into the Satanists eyes "Morning love...." he whispered "I think.... I drank a bit more than I should yesterday......" he said with a smile "Thank you Muds...." he caressed his face. " I'm much better now...."

Murdoc smiled, happy the singer was feeling a bit better. He kissed his forehead, "Good. It's not fun finding you shivering and whimpering on the floor. Downright scary really." He whispered and kissed his hand touching his face.

"You're quite a lightweight aren't you." He teased the singer. He kept his arms wrapped around him. "You okay to sit up so I can wash your hair?" He asked, petting his hair back out of his face.

If Murdoc knew how may times the singer found him doing the same and got desperate.... he wouldn't bring it up now. "I'm sorry love I didn't want to puke on you...."

"I think I am Muds...." he sat straight and smiled "god I messed up...." he chuckled. Maybe he would think twice about drinking again. "I would have to get used to drink again I guess...." he looked at him.

Murdoc chuckled, grabbing the shampoo. "Only if you want. Why did you drink so much? You could have put the drink down you know? Or given it to me, you know I'll always finish for you." He winked. He put some shampoo in the singer’s hair and massaged it into a lather.

"You don't have to get used to drinking if this is what it's going to do.... I know how sensitive you are to getting headaches." He said. He took some soap and booped the singer’s nose.

Stuart shrugged "I drank till I felt tipsy Muds.... maybe a bit more than I should...." he closed his eyes feeling the gentle touch of the Satanist "next time I'll give it to you...."

He listened to his words "oh you sound like a worried parent...." he booped his nose playfully. "I dunno if I didn't drink I would be able to do what I did to you last night...." he chuckled the alcohol gave him some confidence in the end. "It was so good...." he whispered feeling his rear still sore. "You're amazing love...."

Murdoc snorted, "Will it take you alcohol to get you that dominant again? Shit. May have to make it a once in a while things then." He winked at the singer as he started doing his own hair.

"Well.... I may sound like a parent.... but I did say you could call me daddy." He laughed. He was in a good mood now, especially since Stuart was feeling better.

He pulled the singer close for a kiss, "You're amazing." He whispered. "You do know that right?" He asked.

"I dunno if I need Muds.... but it helped finding the dominant person into this goofy self...." he pointed to himself again.

Stuart laughed blushing "Yeah you did......" he still could remember what happened the previous night. He shook his head "Will you call me baby boy then....? Or Babybird maybe...." he laughed louder feeling a bit better with Murdoc now.

"I try my best Muds...... I always want to see you smiling.... It shows your lovely wrinkles...." he poked his face again giggling. "You're beautiful."

Murdoc scoffed playfully, as if offended. "Excuse me? Wrinkles?! Just you wait, you'll get them soon too." He chuckled and started washing the shampoo out of their hair.

Then he kissed his forehead, "I will call you whatever you wish, my little chickadee." He massaged the shampoo out of his hair. "Fuck, I wish I had your hair." He smiled, admiring it.

Stuart chuckled ... He didn't have many wrinkles but one day maybe he would.

Stuart looked at him "Blue?" He ran his fingers through the Satanist's deep black hair "We can dye if you want…" he joked imagining Murdoc with blue hair "Just kidding.... I love your thick black hair Muds.... even your haircut...." he pulled his hair up "Only I can see you have brows" he chuckled.

"I think if you let your hair grow a bit longer it would be nice too...." he imagined Murdoc with some hair up to his shoulders for a moment.

Murdoc snorted, "If I let it grow any longer, it starts to curl a bit, actually. But that is true, you are one of the few to actually see my forehead, I suppose that's something. And yes, I love how it's blue, soft, spikey. You look completely badass, love." He smiled.

"You really think I could dye my hair? What color do you think would look the best?" He joked. He didn't think he'd look good with any color honestly, but if he got drunk enough, he may try.

Stuart couldn't help but imagine him with curly long hair.... he smiled like Grinch finding the vision adorable. "God you with curly hair.... " he blushed playing with his hair.

He looked at him for a bit "Well, Muds I tried dying my hair once brown and black, the most common colors and I tried to use bleach once and I turned.... blonde kinda.... " he chuckled it was horrible the result "How about red?" He thought about a color that contrasted with the blue of his own hair. "We would need to use bleach first cuz your hair is really dark.... or maybe we could dye just some strands of it.... white?" He snorted with the vision "I dunno Muds.... I'm so bloody in love with you that even if you were bald I'd love you...." he pulled up his hair again and kissed his forehead.

"Bet fans would like you appearing with a different hair in a show...." Murdoc was so eccentric that this would definitely fit him.

Murdoc thought about it, "You know.... I kind of like it. I like the idea of red.... maybe.... like.... I dunno, a dark red? What do you think? Or I like the idea of streaks maybe. Not white, hell no." He said, crinkling his nose at the thought. He hated the idea of white anywhere in his hair, it made him feel old.

"I do think fans would like it though...." he smiled. He looked at the now clean singer. "How do you feel about getting dressed now Bluebird? You feeling better? I'll get you some tea, yeah?" He said, hugging him close again and kissing his ear.

"Now I'm feeling much better and red would be perfect and would match your eye...." he said teasingly. He kissed the Satanists cheek and tried to stand up by himself actually doing it. "I can dye it for you anytime you want, love..." he winked to him.

He got outta the shower grabbing a towel "we can have breakfast together Muds.... And tea sounds lovely...." he smiled. He didn't feel really hungry now that he puked. But he felt like joining Murdoc to do anything to forget how bad that morning started

Murdoc nodded and got out, drying off as well. "Let’s go to the kitchen, I'll make you toast and tea. That way you can have something settle your stomach a bit." He said, walking out of the bathroom.

He found some clothes and got dressed, then quickly found some othes for Stuart and handed them to him. "Do you need any help or are you good?"

Stuart smiled warmly to all his care "No my guardian angel.... I'm good...." he chuckled a bit and got dressed. Once he was satisfied, he came to join Murdoc. He actually preferred help to get undressed than dressed.

His neck was covered in bruises and purples. The shirt he was wearing showed them all. He leaned closer Murdoc cupping his face with both hands and kissing him passionately. "Is your back okay....?" He whispered to him breaking the kiss...

Murdoc gave a small snort, delightfully surprised by the face cupping a kiss. "Yeah,  I'm okay.... how about you? It looks like some zombies tried to gnaw on you. You okay going out in public like that?"

He grabbed his hand and guided him into Kong. Halfway there he heard the caw from Cortez somewhere off in the distance. He would need to say hi to him later, probably feed him a treat.

When they got to the kitchen, Murdoc had Stuart sit down while he walked over to the toaster and put some bread in. Then he set a kettle of water on the stove. He'd probably just have toast as well actually.

"What would you like on your toast?" He asked, looking into the fridge. They were fully stocked for once, Russel must have gone shopping or something. He mainly shopped for Noodle.

Stuart just nodded to him. He had to be okay, Murdoc wanted to take him out to dinner would he deny just cuz of the hickeys? No.... He could use the zombies excuse.

Stuart tried to find where the caw came from but couldn’t find Cortez. He shrugged.

"Eggs and butter, Muds, please...." he said looking at him admiring all his efforts with him. He couldn’t ask better for a life. "Thank you love.... I can get used to you spoiling me this way huh?" he joked resting his chin on his hand.

Murdoc laughed, "As long as you spoil me in other ways, we'll be fine." He turned and winked at the singer. Then he grabbed a carton of eggs, butter, and a skillet. He started making him eggs.

When everything was done, he put it all together and brought it all to the singer. He sat next to him with his toast. He made sure the singer ate while he ate as well.

They ate in a comfortable silence. He finally asked, "how are you feeling love?"

Stuart was so focused in eating and not puking that he jumped when he heard his voice.... "I'm happy, Muds.... a bit sore but okay...." he looked at him fondly. "I'm loving the life we're living...." he blushed sounding terribly affectionate. "And you, how are you feeling.... Blackbird....?" he asked placing a hand on his knee. "Ever thought about you making me breakfast after a shower and a rough night of sex...?" he chuckled and took a bite of his toast, it was actually very good.

He never thought about that. Stuart normally was too drugged to anything and wouldn’t wake up till pass noon. Murdoc would wake up and start drinking again and would come outta his Winnie in a sour mood sending everyone to hell. He wouldn’t have breakfast and Stuart either. They forget to eat pretty often...... They looked like a real couple and in low key a family. having meals at the table wasn’t something common for them as well. Stuart could live with that.

Murdoc smiled and took a sip of some coffee he'd had. He shook his head, "Can't say I have, Bluebird. I never thought.... I'd have any of this honestly...." he whispered.

"And I'm okay. Sore for sure. Bruised obviously, but it's a good type of sore, you know?" He reached up and felt the bite marks on his neck. His grin widened as he felt them. The feeling of being marked by a lover was something he never really got to experience. He felt happy. In love. It was addictive.

He reached across and held Stuart's hand gently. "Did you ever think you'd be here like this?" He asked, taking another sip of coffee.

"Well I daydreamed.... not really like this cuz its too much to be true but...." he looked at their both hands together and smiled. His wrists were still red and marked. "At least we not fighting I thought one day would be possible, but all this.... must be a dream...." he chuckled and leaned closer giving him a kiss. He tasted like coffee. Stuart smiled wide looking infatuated with Murdoc.

"I just hope this doesn’t change y’’know? But if it does.... we would have sweet memories to enjoy at least...." he chuckled playing with his cross and forgetting about his toast for a moment. He looked to Murdoc "I love you." he whispered.

Murdoc smiled gently back at the singer. "I love you too." He whispered. He ran his thumb over Stuarts hand gently. He didn't like the thought of only having these memories. He wanted to have the real thing.

He nodded to Stuart's food. "Finish eating, we can go for a walk...." he said. He noticed it was a nice and sunny day for once and wanted to actually go walk with Stuart. He liked the idea. Maybe they'd drive into town and walk around there through some of the nicer parks...

Stuart raised a brow to his suggestion coming back eating. To see if he wasn’t joking he asked "Can we have ice cream?" he said with a smile showing the lack of his teeth.

He ate his toasts pretty quick more excited now. He went to the sink to wash the plate and gently kissed Murdoc's cheek wondering where would be the others now. He drank a bottle of water to prevent him from dehydration after drinking much and puking. "I didn’t know you like the sun...." he teased looking at the Satanist. It was actually a nice suggestion

Murdoc snorted, "You're kind of being a cheeky little shit today aren't you? I very much like the sun.... sort of. It's just usually cold and gloomy here. You've got a wonderful tan going, why can't I get one?" He laughed.

When they finished eating he grabbed his car keys and walked with Stuart to the car. He didn't see Noodle or Russ. They must have been sleeping still, or something. He didn't worry too much about it.

He guided Stuart into the Geep, then got in the driver’s seat. He started it and they drove off towards town. Murdoc had an old rock station playing in the background, quietly. He held onto Stuart's hand, the other on the wheel.

Stuart smiled raising his hands in surrender. He looked at himself, he was pretty tan after the recording, he didn’t even notice. It was nice and he wasn’t unpeeling at least. Seeing Murdoc in that good mood was still something odd. Normally Noodle would ask him to go outside for anything and he would decline. He was really changed.

Stuart followed him to the car with a smile. "Where you wanna take me, Muds?" he thought go for a walk was by foot maybe a fag or two. He squeezed his hand while he drove feeling a bit different as they were so much time in the Winnie that the jeep seemed odd now.

Murdoc smiled, "I'm gonna take you into town love. You wanted ice cream, yeah?" He drove them and parked near a park downtown. They could walk around the park and then walk downtown to the shops. They'd make a day of it.

He got out and walked to the side of the Geep to hold hands with the singer again and wlk down the path of the park. It was warm and the sun was shining across everything. It was wet still, as usual but the sun was helping clear that up. They slowly set down the path.

Stuart nodded, it was actually a good idea. Really different from what they did last night. it was actually he couldn’t remember the last time he did, even alone.

he walked hand in hand with Murdoc looking around for the birds and the nice landscape they had in front of them. There were some people here and there, some couples families.... he took a deep breath and smiled feeling better. "thanks for bringing me here Muds...." he whispered leaning on him while walking. "You’re the best boyfriend in the world...." he joked.

Murdoc laughed, "I supposed I am, Bluebird. One that takes care of his own." He puts his arm around the singer to pull him closer as they walked. He noticed a few people watching them, possibly recognizing them. He had an urge to put his arm down, like he used to all those times before, embarrassed. However, he stopped that urge and kept his arm around him. He wished the singer wasn't so bloody tall though, he'd kiss his forehead, but he can't reach without making a big fuss.

He enjoyed the clean air and the warmth from the son. He couldn't remember the last time he'd walked in a park. Now he was doing it with his boyfriend.... he was happy.

"Did you ever come play in parks as a kid?" He asked Stuart, squeezing his waist a bit.

Stuart noticed him hesitant about hugging him and people staring. Was Murdoc ashamed? Were people scared of him or finding odd his huge marks on neck? He didn’t mind. He wrapped his own arm around his shoulders to pull him close and kissed his cheek not caring about anything at all. He needed to look down to do it as Murdoc was smaller. He loved their height difference.

"I used to come Muds.... My parents used to bring me to be under the sun a bit when I had lack of D vitamin...." he shook his head and laughed "I enjoyed riding my bike and bringing Elizabeth for a walk..." he explained him softly "We could bring Cortez any time...."

"I just couldn’t use the playground ‘cuz my parents were worried I could fall and hurt me or something.... or that the other kids would hit me...." he looked around finding children playing in a playground near. "That’s why I suggested bringing Noodle for one when she was younger.... I though it was fun. She had fun, you remember?...."

His hand went to his hair caressing it while walking. He imagined for a moment Murdoc pushing him in the swing. It was similar to the one his father built him.

Murdoc smiled at the cheek kiss and felt a bit more at ease. He relaxed. "Yeah I remember bringing her. She had some fun, but she was more into doing her own thing, not as much about making friends." He smiled at the memory.

He looked at Stuart. "I would have protected you on the playground." He said proudly. He may not have been the biggest kid, but he was mean and he was a fighter when he needed to be. If he'd known Stuart and taken a liking to him as a kid he would have fought for him.

He snorted at the thought. "I don't think your parents would have liked me much. Could you imagine if you had brought home some ratty, dirty, little child that reeked of alcohol and cigarette? Well.... your mom might have made me take a bath."

"After some time I didn’t feel more bad cuz Noodle had no friends her age.... she always did well on her own.... I remember how happy she was riding her little tricycle around Kong when we gave her it...." he chuckled remembering, the girl never stopped riding it when she get it. Noodle was fine if she was lonely. Just like Murdoc.... Stuart sometimes would play hide and seek with her but she preferred videogames and her guitar

Stuart blushed "If my parents saw a bigger kid next to me they would freak out thinking you wanted to punch me...." Even if they wanted the age difference was just too big for them. "but I appreciate you would help me...." he said softly. "My mom would have called tutelary council, Muds.... or 911...." he joked. "I would be six and would be eighteen love.... how could I bring you home,? It was a crime...." He chuckled leaning closer him. When Murdoc reached puberty Stuart wasn’t even born.

"No I wasn't...." he stated then stopped in his tracks. His eyes widened and he smacked his palm against his forehead. He almost forgot he was that much older than the singer.

"Shit. I feel old...." he whispered, pursing his lips as his shoulders slumped. He can't even imagine hanging out with Stuart as a kid, he would be too bloody old. He continued walking with Stuart in silence, looking down at his boots as they walked. His good mood slightly dampened at the thought of not even being able to imagine having a slight bit of friendship as a kid.

Stuart noticed him sad. It wasn’t his plan making him feel sad...... They were just facts. Stuart frowned, he had to do something to make Murdoc feel better. He couldn’t see his blackbird sad cuz he was old. It was one of the biggest details that made Stuart love him.

"Hey Mudsie.... C'mon...." he said stopping him and placing both hands on his shoulders. "I don’t care if you're old...." he told him with a smile. "I'd love to have you as an older friend to help my parents take care of me when I was a baby...... you would be able to see me grow up right? Even change my diapers...." he was imagining Murdoc holding him on his arms as an older brother. "You know how I was a cute baby......"

He rubbed his shoulders "You'd be like an older brother for me, Muds.... and.... well, even if you couldn’t play with me in the playground you'd be the one who would bring me here to play as you'd be a grown up responsible for me. Y-you'd be able to help me in all the bad stuff I went through cuz you'd be older, love... I know you'd protect me. Y-you'd be like a hero for me." he tried to see the bright side talking no stop. He looked at him for a moment.

"I love you're older than me Muds.... don’t ever feel bad about it huh?" he leaned closer and rubbed his nose against his. "You lived much more... You can teach me a lot and I really appreciate that...." he without a care in the world kissed him deeply in the middle of the park.

Murdoc kissed him back, not caring about anyone else.  When they finished he leaned into the singer, holding his hand. "Yeah...." he sighed. "I supposed...." he brought the singer’s hand up to kiss. "Sorry, the realization struck me hard. I'm okay." He looked up and gave him a small smile. He was still a little bummed but he'd deal with it.

Just then they heard some people walking up, a couple, both in the early 20s. They were whispering to each other and the girl was smiling at them, looking excited. Murdoc turned to them.

"Hi! Oh my goodness, I'm so excited, you guys are part of Gorillaz, right?" she squealed, excited. She kept flitting her eyes to 2D. Murdoc frowned.

Stuart smiled to her sweetly. After telling so much good things to Murdoc he was really in a good mood, even for fans at this point.

"Yes we are, 2D the lead singer and Murdoc the owner of the band and my boyfriend..." he told them directly wrapping his hands tightly around Murdoc and leaning closer him. "How can we help you....?" he said trying to sound nice.

The girl squealed and the guy with her smiled, "Can we get autographs?" She pulled out a small notebook from a backpack and held it out for 2D first. Usually Murdoc would use his charm to take the notebook and sign first but he didn't feel like it right now. He was a little mad they were interrupted.

He looked around, noticing more people coming over, either recognizing them or coming to see what the girl was squealing about. He pursed his lips. He should be happy. But he just wasn't in the mood. He'd let Stuart take the lead on this.

Stuart noticed maybe they wouldn’t be able to continue the walk but what could he do? He looked at Murdoc and noticed he was angry. he plastered a big smile on his face and started signing whatever they wanted to see if people went away and left them alone. Start a fuss wouldn’t be something wise in the middle of a park.

After some signing, he looked at Murdoc apologetically. He hoped he just didn’t get mad with him giving them attention. He wasn’t happy too but he didn’t want to ruin everything to Murdoc's band being rude. He was just gentle. He didn’t flirt or was charming with anyone as he couldn’t. He just wanted them to leave. Even some girls asked for photos with him and he couldn’t say no.

Murdoc was getting more and more frustrated as the singer started taking pics, but he tried to keep his cool. He even had a few people talk to him about the Feel Good Inc video. Some of the women told him he looked sexy as hell in that video, which boosted his ego a bit and he even smiled a bit and started talking.

When the crowd finally started to thin, he felt a little better. He grabbed Stuart's hand and continued walking with him. "Sorry love. I know I shouldn't get so down about what could have been, I should live in the now, right?" He kissed his hand in apology. He still had a day to spend with the singer. His singer.

Stuart tried hard to keep things cool for Murdoc. he didn’t care about the fans at all but wouldn’t let him down. Finally people left letting them breathe. He had to agree with them that Murdoc was really hot. Hot and his.

Stuart grabbed his hand tightly.... "Don’t need to be sorry Muds.... I like when you tell me you wanted to be with me since the beginning, make me feel special...." he told him softly. "Plus I'll cheer you up whenever you need, love......" he whispered to him and kissed his forehead. "Sorry I paid attention to other people when we're having a day together, I just wanted them to leave...." he said frustrated. Normally Murdoc would be happy when fans came around, why wasn’t he this time? He asked himself.

Murdoc nodded and smiled, walking with him again. They were getting close to the end of the park and near the shops. He squeezed Stuart’s hand. "It's okay. Can't be helped."

 He walked with him to the side of the park and into the shopping area. "Where would you like to get to get ice cream? Any particular place? Here’s a place right up the way here that I've heard is pretty good." He pointed to a shop a couple places down.

Once inside the shop he looked around "show me your place Muds, I have no particular one......" he told him softly. "Do you wanna share a big one with me....?" he said with an adorable smile hoping no one would appear there and disturb them.

Murdoc snorted, "You want to share an ice cream cone? Or a milkshake?" He normally would have said no to something like that but he really knew he couldn't deny the singer.

He walked him to the place, and went inside. It was a cute little ice cream shop, that had seating all over. They got in line to get their food, Murdoc looking over the list. "What kind of flavor is your favorite?" He asked.

"I was thinking about banana split Muds...." he licked his lips "but if you don’t want no problem I can pick something else for me...." he said softly.

He looked to the flavors with Murdoc "I know it might sound strange ‘cuz no one likes it but I really enjoy Blue Ice...." he laughed "and it matches me hair...." he said proudly "what's your favorite, love?" he said looking to what they had. for banana split normally they'd have to pick like three flavors.

Murdoc smiled at his boyfriend. "We'll get the banana split then my love. If that's what you wanna do then we'll do it." He chuckled. He liked the idea of sharing a banana split with him. It sounded like such a Stuart thing to want to do...

He tried to think about what kind of ice cream he liked. He couldn't even remember the last time he had ice cream. "Uh.... why don't you choose for us love? I'm not very knowledgeable about ice cream flavors." He chucked nervously. It may have been years since the last time he had it.

"Well I sometime pick really strange flavors must say...." he warned him. "You can pick a table for us, I'll take care of the ice cream okay?" he told him with a smile.

Soon when was his turn to ask he ordered a blue ice one, pistachio one and chocolate cuz the third he couldn’t decide. He paid and happily went back to the table Murdoc had picked.

He sat down "Here love, hope you enjoy...." he told him offering Murdoc another spoon. "I dunno why but pistachio remind me of you.... I think ‘cuz its green...... so I put it together with my favorite, see?" he pointed to the ice cream half green half blue. "The other is chocolate.... I would pick rum raising, I know how you like alcohol, but I couldn’t decide, I'm sorry...." he said taking a spoonful of it and blushing.

Murdoc sat down happily and waited for Stuart. The kid came over with a banana split and told him the flavors. He laughed and took the spoon. "It's perfect, thank you love. I'm glad you like green nuts." He winked and took a spoonful. He took a bite of the pistachio and it takes really good actually. He continued to take a spoonful every now and then.

He watched Stuart enjoy the split. The kid had a beautiful naivety to him that made Murdoc just gravitate towards him. He was a simple but complex guy and he appreciated that. He took some of the chocolate on his finger and booped Stuart’s nose with it and grinned at him.

Stuart was so focused in trying to cut a piece of the banana with a spoon that he didn’t feel that finger coming. He blushed hard and giggled. Then he did the nasty thing he could do  with his tongue that was picking his nose. He actually could wipe the ice cream with it. "See? No hands...."

Now he was really a creep. He laughed and kept eating his sweet. he was glad that Murdoc enjoyed his chose of flavors, he would be  sad if he didn’t. "What you heard about it its true, love, I really enjoyed this place, I wish we can come back here another times..." he said softly finally cutting the banana and letting out a low victorious yelp when he did it.

Murdoc laughed really loud on accident when he licked his nose. He got a few head turns and he apologized to everyone around him. He turned back to Stuart still chuckling. He had forgotten that Stuart could do that.

"Why I am I the one that's known with the crazy tongue? You can do that!" He smiled. He could probably do that too but he had no desire to touch his nose with his tongue. "And of course Bluebird, we can come here anytime you want my love." He continued eating and chuckled again when he saw the singer happy over cutting the banana.

"I don't know if I've ever personally had a banana split.... you know that? We got them for Noodle before but I haven't had one. I'm not a big sweets guy." He said, taking another bite.

Stuart blushed hearing his laugh. He didn’t care about people around. He just wanted Murdoc happy and he could do it with his stupid ability. "You can do much more with yours Muds.... I think you can touch your forehead doing what I did...." he chuckled. He ate the banana.

"So another first time I guess...." he giggled. "Yeah she couldn’t eat it all and I had to share with her...." it was too big for her when they ordered, that was when Stuart found he liked banana split. "Why don’t you like sweets love....? I mean, everyone does... Sugar makes us happy...." he said like the scientific lad he was. "What you like more eating, sour, bitter, salty?" it was a stupid subject but with Murdoc it would be nice to debate.

Murdoc thought about it. "I'm not sure if I really have a favorite.... maybe salty, only because it goes well with alcohol. Want something to eat with alcohol? Have some salty chips and salsa. That's nice." He hummed. He did like meat too.

"I'm not sure why I don't like sweets. I didn't really get them much as a kid and by the time I finally had some, I think my taste buds were already dead from cigarettes and alcohol." He chuckled. His father never bought sweets and he never really got them from anyone.

"I like strawberries and other fruits.... that's my kind of sweets I suppose. Not chocolate or candy though." He thought about it more. The first time he really remembered having it was with a girl when he was.... 12 maybe? He was leaning against a wall at school and she had been trying to talk to him for weeks. Just little hi’s and goodbye's and finally she came up and introduced herself and gave him a chocolate. He had been a little flabbergasted, but eventually told her his name. She said she already knew. Nothing really developed from it.... but they did acknowledge each other every now and then the rest of the year.

Stuart listened his explanation. "Well my parents didn’t give me sweets ‘cuz they were afraid I’d get cavities.... so when I first had a chocolate bar I went nuts...." he chuckled. He found sad what he said about his taste buds and bit his lip.

his brows rose "Oh you like fruits Muds....?" he smiled goofily "I never thought you'd like fruits.... why didn’t you ever told me that....? What’s your favorite....?" he rested his chin on his hand looking at him imagining all sorts of things he could do with fruits to make Murdoc happy. Even him covered in strawberries he thought about. Next time he would think of a better place to eat with him. He just hoped he wasn’t upset with all his sweets.

Murdoc chuckled, "I didn't realize your parents were so over protective. That must have truly sucked sometimes. I mean, you told me before, but I don't think I really comprehended it fully. All that to protect you and I still hit you with my car."

"Uh.... yeah I like fruits. I like strawberries and grapes mostly. Actually.... I think blueberries are my favorite." He smiled and winked at the singer. "But I don't mind the sweets. Especially if it's watching you eat them." He took another bite of the ice cream.

Stuart nodded, it really sucked sometimes. He blushed and kept eating his sweet silently. It was delicious and soon he finished it. "May I feed you with fruits anytime Muds....?" he asked innocently “That’s okay if you don’t want...."

He looked down embarrassed with his request but he knew he liked fruits and it was something really nice for his damaged brain and the vision of him able to feed him was even nicer. "Maybe fruits while you’re drinking something...." he mumbled ashamed.

Murdoc's heart fluttered at the request. He bit his bottom lip and blushed. He loved the idea of Stuart feeding him strawberries or grapes. It made him feel extremely loved for some reason.

"I uh...... I would love nothing more Stuart...." he whispered a little choked up. He cleared his throat and rubbed his neck embarrassed. It sounded like such an intimate thing. He'd never had anyone offer to feed him fruits.

Stuart bit his lip too. "Y-you'd really....?" He thought it was a stupid idea. "cuz I was thinking of doing it when you're having a bath.... as you really like baths...." he looked down "I'm sorry.... I just want to do all sorts of things to make you happy...." he smiled a bit. He was in love and he couldn't help it.

He thought about going out and buying the fruits to surprise Murdoc. He thought it was too sappy and he wouldn't like it. He looked for his hands on the table and grabbed them nervously

Murdoc chuckled, noticing his nervousness as he held his hands. "No, I'd love it. Honestly. No one's offered to do that for me and it sounds so.... intimate.... close, you know? You might have to be careful though, might make me feel more like a god. Getting spoiled like that." He smiled wide. He really hoped him and Stuart could do that at some point. When he had no idea.

"Oh? In a bath? Even better!" He chuckled. "Believe me Stuart. Anything you do for me, makes me happy." He beamed at the singer. "You gotta remember love, I've never been in a relationship before. I really do appreciate the things you do for me because, almost 90 percent of the time, no one has done them for me before, unless it's something sex related." He squeezed his hands encouragingly.

"Well.... You took care of me today when I was puking and.... Made me breakfast and came here with me even when you don't like sweets... a-and you wanna take me to dinner...... " He looked at him blushing profusely "I just want to return all the good things you do for me.... cuz you changed so much you make me feel like a God...." he chuckled sounding honest.

Hearing those words made the singer's heart race. Yeah he could do much better than only sex. He could offer Murdoc all the attention he never had before. He felt special and rubbed his hands with his fingers giggling. Was all he could have asked for.

Murdoc's heart melted at the singer’s giggle, he could hear that all day. "Well you are my blue haired, black eyed God, so...." he winked. He kissed the singer’s hands and heard some giggling in a table nearby. It was filled with a group of older teen girls watching them. They were all giggling and smiling wide, obviously enjoying the sweet show.

He chuckled and turned back to Stuart, "Seems we are providing a romantic scene for some people." He took one of Stuart's hands and brought it up to his face to nuzzle against his cheek. Stuart's hands were soft, surprisingly. He was roughed by guitar playing, at least, not as bad as Murdoc. He liked it. He loved how opposite they were, yet the same.

"I love you...." he said, hearing one of the girls squeal.

Stuart blushed hard noticing their audience. At least they weren't flirting with them or anything. He looked at them and smiled. He nodded to Murdoc's statement.

Stuart caressed his face back smiling lovingly. Soon he decided to be bolder. He stood up and cupped his face with both hands leaning closer and kissing him.

"I could kneel here in front of you right now and propose you... But I don't think I'll give them that taste huh...." he whispered to him while he pretended he was hugging him.

He broke the hug and looked at him. "I love you too Muds...." He smiled.

Murdoc froze. Did the kid just talk about proposing to him? Was that the next step in their relationship? Was Stuart expecting that? Would Stuart really want to do that with him? He blushed and looked up at Stuart smiling. He decided to store those thoughts away for later.

"I think we gave them enough of a show, yeah?" He chuckled, noticing Stuart was done with his ice cream. He held onto his hand and stood, walking out with the singer after cleaning up their table. He squeezed his hand blushing again as he kept thinking about the singer proposing to him. He didn't believe him, there was no way Stuart wanted to get married, right? He kept trying to put those thought away but couldn't.

Stuart noticed Murdoc nervous but he was okay. He didn't mind about it...... He could propose Murdoc in an ice cream store, in the beach, in the Winnie, in the middle of a show, on the stage.... You name it. He knew he would say no of course and his heart would be broken.... but he could dream, right? Actually he once dreamed not long ago Murdoc proposing him, but that wouldn't happen either and he knew it. But deep inside he wasn't joking. He really wanted to marry Murdoc.

He followed Murdoc silently noticing he was squeezing his hand "What's the matter Muds....?" He asked innocently. "I did something wrong....?"

Murdoc looked up startled a minute. "Uh.... no! Sorry just thinking." He chuckled nervously. "I need to buy a few new shirts, wanna go with me? We can get you dome as well. I know this great shop over here." He pointed to a shop down the way.

He walked him over to it. It was an adult clothing store, but a more casual store. It had t-shirts and jeans and shoes, plus a few other things. It didn't have anything fancy, which is why Murdoc liked it. He wasn't hard to buy clothes for either, usually staying in the black or dark colores, with the occasional colored clothes.

Stuart nodded not really believing Murdoc really needed new clothes but joining him in whatever he needed.

Once inside the store he found the place Murdoc's style but not his… He usually wore more teenage shirts, colorful and with stamps. He sat down in a revolving chair turning around.

 "Want my opinion for new clothes love....?" He offered innocently. "Or want me to pick some I think you'd look good in....?" He was up to anything for Murdoc.

Murdoc chuckled, "You want to pick out my clothes? Sure, go find some things and I'll try them on." He continued looking through the rack he was viewing. There were a ton of black shirts and turtle necks here. Exactly what he liked.

He also needed some black jeans. He wandered off a bit. A worker came up to him, she smiled wide, "Hi hon’, do you need any help?" She asked. He smiled and shook his head, "No love, I'm okay. Thank you." He looked through more clothes.

She nodded and walked over to Stuart. "You need any help honey?" She asked.

Stuart was trying to find something for Murdoc till he realized he didn't even know his size. He swallowed hard nervous.

He looked to the woman offering him help  "I'm looking for clothes for my boyfriend...." He pointed at Murdoc "He’s over there.... but I dunno his size...." He told her honestly "I'm looking for basic shirts and jeans..."

He knew he was bigger than him due to his height. He started looking around for something to him but they were all too basic and too boring for him.

The girl smiled wide, "Oh, I saw him looking at medium sized shirts, here try this!" She pulled out a black shirt with a skull on it. She held it up for Stuart to see. "What does he think of this kind of design?"

"Oh!" She said quickly, taking the shirt with her and running a few feet over, grabbing a sweater. She brought it up to Stuart and held it up. It was a black and blue, sweater. "Does he like sweaters?"

Stuart looked to her choices of clothing, he looked at Murdoc. He would look beautiful in those. He grabbed the shirt and the sweater from her. "I think he will like those. Thank you lady...." he said politely with a smile going to Murdoc.

"Love, did you find anything interesting? I found those.... I dunno if you'd like...." he offered him with a smile. "You can try them and I say if I like or not" he winked to him playfully.

Murdoc blushed from the wink and looked at the clothes he grabbed. "Uh.... sure! Yeah, I'll put them in with mine."" He grabbed them and added them to his little pile. He gave him a quick kiss as a thank you and walked to the dressing room.

He started to change in the spacious room, putting on the jeans then the striped blue and black sweater. He looked at it in the mirror. "Hmmm not bad...." he thought. He walked out to  Stuart, "what do you think?" He asked.

Stuart was again playing with the revolving chair like a bored child till he saw Murdoc. His eyes widened. "I loved it Muds.... I don’t think I see you often with stripes but.... They suit you...." he leaned closer him and looked at the Satanist. "Oh one thing missing" he chuckled and pulled from under the sweater his upside down cross. "Now it's perfect" he told holding his hand and make him turning around giggling. He didn’t think Murdoc would like his chose of clothing but it was a nice surprise.

He looked around and the place was empty. He pushed Murdoc into the room again and stole a kiss from him. A deep and passionate one pressing him against the wall. He bit his lip in the end of the kiss and looked into his eyes. "But I still prefer you naked, love." he looked down "I think your outfit will be beautiful thrown on the Winnie's floor...." he teased giving him a quick kiss and going out again as nothing had happened.

Murdoc stood there, breathless after what just happened. He brought his hand up to his lips, touching them gently. He could still feel Stuart on his lips, and his words echoing in his mind. His face flushed red and he let out a small chuckle. He could feel his pants feel slightly tighter from being teased. He shook his head.

"Holy shit.... that was mean." He laughed to himself, now taking that off and putting on the black one with the stylized skull. He usually never wore things like that, but there was a first time for everything.

He chuckled again and went out to Stuart. "What about this one?" He asked.

Stuart turned around to see his boyfriend "oh, I think I never saw with a stamped shirt Muds...." he giggled. "I liked it, maybe with a coat will look even better" he said with a thumbs up. "You liked it love? I mean, it’s not your regular style huh?" he smiled to him. While watching the Satanist looking at himself. He would find him beautiful with anything he picked.

Murdoc shrugged, "I dunno...... why don't you try something on? I know its not your style but you would look good in black, especially with that blue hair...." he smiled.

He tugged on his shirt a bit, looking down. "Sometimes I really wish we could have been some type of rock or metal band. You would still sound amazing. And Noodle would finally get to shred on those guitars." He didn't get much of a say in that regard. Stuart never wanted to sing those types of songs so he never pushed the issue, especially when they first became a band. He wanted to make it all work, he went with the style Stuart had been comfortable with.

Stuart pouted.... "Hey I can try something on, you can pick for me......" he leaned closer him "But I don’t want this sad face, okay?" he kissed his cheek "I'm happy singing anything you want me to sing for you don’t worry about that...." he smiled sweetly to him.

"Remember, don’t think about the past Muds. What matters is now and now you have a huge success band, your band, which your brothers are fans, another album recorded and more videos and an interview on the way huh?" he kissed his forehead. "Don’t think about what could have happened, love, live your dream..." he winked to him and poked his nose going back to his seat.

Murdoc nodded, knowing the singer was right. He chuckled at the nose poke. "Fine, fine. You're right. Is there any shop you were wanting to go in at all today?" He asked, heading back to the dressing room. He needed to kill time because the restaurant he wanted to take the kid to was in this area. It was a beautiful place that he thought Stuart would love.

He undressed and quickly tried everything else on, just taking a quick look in the mirror to see if he liked it and it fit. Then he left and, with all his clothes, walked to Stuart and then to the cashier. He looked at Stuart as his clothes were being rung up.

Stuart followed him. He would try something on but decided against it. He could try another time or maybe steal one of Murdoc's new clothes. He loved doing that especially after sex. He loved the smell they had.

"We can go to that music shop here Muds.... I wanted to buy a new melodica for me or a small keyboard...." since he saw his keyboard from when he was younger he thought he could actually play in a small one he could bring anywhere. Maybe to the Winnie when he felt like. "The old one fell on the floor and broke...." he said sadly.

Murdoc smiled, "Perfect my love. We'll go to the music shop then." He said as he paid for his clothes. He walked out with the bag in one hand and Stuart's h and firmly in the other.

He walked them over to the music shop. It was massive. The place had two stories and the walls were covered in instruments of all kinds. This was their kind of place. This was perfect, he knew they could spend quite a bit of time here, especially his singer. He chuckled as the kid's eyes seemed to light up.

Stuart said a low "Wow" once he entered. Had been a while since the last time he could enter in a shop like that. He squeezed Murdoc's hand and smiled to him.

Soon an attendant came to talk to them "hello boys, what can I help you with?" she said with a sweet smile more turned to Murdoc than Stuart.

"I'm looking for melodicas and keyboards..." he said with a large smile "you want anything love...?" he asked Murdoc not really thinking if he wanted another bass besides el diablo or buy someone something. The young lady looked at him waiting for his answer

Murdoc's heart melted at the singer’s hand squeeze, he was happy his singer was happy. He gave the attendant his usual charming smile. "I'm probably just going to look around love, but thank you. We're more here for him, so whatever he needs." He pointed to Stuart.

There was no way he was going to get a new bass, since his was absolutely perfect, but he did think he could maybe get some gifts for his other band mates, and maybe something for Stuart, but he had no idea what. Looking around might help him decide on some gifts.

Stuart followed the lady till he found the area he was looking at with keyboards of all kinds little and big ones. He tried to talk to her about them but she seemed she didn’t understand a thing about keyboards what made Stuart slightly disappointed as he had already worked in a store years ago. He frowned and asked to try some models till he could find the best one.

He began playing "Tomorrow comes today...." to see which one he liked most, soon some people appeared clearly recognizing him playing. But Stuart didn’t mind, he just wanted to test the instrument before buying. it was a beautiful blue one that matched with his hair. Stuart was already thinking about a name for it, as he was jealous Murdoc's bass had a name.

Murdoc saw the singer go look at keyboards. He smiled and walked to the basses. He wouldn't get one but it didn't hurt to look. They were beautiful instruments anyways.

He heard Stuart start to play their song "Tomorrow Comes Today." He smiled wide and grabbed a bass. He timed it perfectly to be able to play the bass line with the singer’s keyboard. He slowly walked over to him, plucking his strings. He loved playing with his singer and he noticed people seemed to recognize the song, or liked it at least.

Stuart unfocused from the melodica to pay attention to Murdoc coming in his direction. He smiled and kept playing. He would definitely buy that melodica. He was just happy they could play together. Murdoc looked hot even not with el diablo or thrusting. He wondered if from now on he would be able to use the instrument for another songs.

He thought they didn’t have to be a rock band at all. They were perfect with the music they made, and no one could convince him otherwise. He began "Clint Eastwood" to see if Murdoc would follow him. He had a goofy smile in his face and it was red due to the blows.

Murdoc grinned wickedly and started playing the bass line to Clint Eastwood. He walked around to Stuart and got close, his eyes focused on the singer as he did so. He expected the singer to sing the song at least. He didn't care about the small sparse crowd watching them, it was another moment of just him and Stuart and the music.

He loved that smile on his beautiful face. That gap in his teeth. Those black eyes sparkling. It was truly beautiful.

Stuart looked at him back and once again he didn’t care about the people or anything, he smiled to him back and placed the melodica down. He was mesmerized again by him. he started "I'm happy I'm feeling glad...." and waited Murdoc to go ahead. He would only sing if Murdoc joined him. He stuck his togue outta his mouth playfully. They were a beautiful mess and the singer couldn’t have asked for nothing more in his life.

He leaned closer him only hearing the bass and swaying with the music.... he remembered their first date when he and Murdoc sang it drunkly. He giggled at the memory. They lived many things together recently.

Murdoc chuckled and continued to pluck his bass, "I got sunshine in a bag. I'm useless but not for long...." he sung. They were as close as the bass would allow them to be. He had to look up at his singer, but he didn't mind. He loved him and he knew it with all his heart.

He playfully stuck his own tongue out, letting it hang down. He heard a few giggles from the crowd but ignored them. He was only here for Stuart at this moment. It was theirs, and only theirs.

Stuart bolder decided to start the rap part of the song and placed both hands on his shoulders swaying as the song continued. He grabbed  a nearby pen and pretended it was a microphone to make Murdoc laugh. His eyes shone with happiness and he knew he had to be there among all places in the world.

Soon he got back playing his melodica happily in the solo part, always looking to Murdoc and sometimes closing his eyes. Soon when the song was over some people clapped to them. Stuart chuckled and bowed to thank them inviting Murdoc to do the same.

Murdoc snorted and grinned the entire time playing. His heart lept from his chest as he listened to the singer. He wasn't great at rapping, especially with his accent, but Murdoc loved it all the same.

When it came time to being done, the crowd clapping and Stuart bowing, he was in pure bliss. They truly belonged together making music. He bowed with Stuart and gave his charming smile. He turned back to Stuart.

"Good thing we didn't do Feel Good Inc. or we might have a mob on our hands." He chuckled, thrusting playfully with his bass.

Stuart blushed with his words and nodded agreeing. "We're in the middle of a store Muds...." He whispered to him.

To make him embarrassed and stop thrusting he leaned closer and kissed him. He placed his hand on the back of his head and stole another kiss shoving his tongue into his mouth. He smiled to him breaking the kiss. Some people of the crowd let out a "oh" other walked off and other smiled squealing.

Stuart went to that lady to really buy the melodica. "Decided what you'd want to buy love?" He asked as nothing had happened.

Murdoc froze during and after the kiss, his face flushing deeply. He could still feel Stuart's tongue. He wanted more. The singer was being an immense tease today and Murdoc thought it wasn't very fair. He'd have to do something as well.

He cleared his throat, "uh, yeah. Let me take a quick look!" He called out, going to look at the guitars. He found a beautiful electric one that was pure white. He smiled as he knew she didn't have one like that. She could doodle on it or add stickers if she liked.

He walked to the counter and told the lady which one he'd like and paid to have it shipped to the studio so he didn't have to carry it. He knew Noodle would like it. He also grabbed Russel a new pair of decent drumsticks. He knew, for a fact, Russel had broken his favorite pair throwing them at Murdoc.

Stuart's brows rose seeing he was actually thinking about the others too. it wasn’t something common for Murdoc buy gifts like that. He loved how generous he was being. "I bet Noodle will love it...." he said looking at the guitar he picked. He could already imagine it full of drawings and stickers. Maybe Stuart could even graffiti it.

Stuart paid for his melodica and named it Tia. He loved its sound so much and its color. He was really happy he could find the perfect one. He wish he could play it for Murdoc anytime. He asked them to deliver it to Kong as well, if he carried it, it could fall and break like the last one. "Where you wanna go now, love....? I don’t think I have anything else I want to buy here...." he said walking out the store.


	48. Hanging Out

He stopped for a moment looking a jewelry shop. Rocks and gems always grabbed his attention he loved how those things shone and were colorful. He stopped looking the rings and necklaces with his void eyes shining. "When I was younger I always tried to look for the most expensive ones in the showcase with my mother, Muds... Who found it first won...." it was a stupid game but Stuart never won. His mother was always quicker. He smiled to him

Murdoc chuckled as the singer mentioned the game him and his mother played. It sounded like something he would definitely do. He wrapped an arm around his waist as they looked at the jewelry. He liked how Stuart looked in the light.

"Truly beautiful...." he whispered, talking about the singer’s eyes sparkling. He brushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed it. "What’s the most expensive one in there now?" He chuckled, looking at the case. He was never a huge fan of jewelry, the necklace being one of the few he wore constantly. He usually could never afford it before.

Stuart blushed with his kiss and had to focus in the prices of the jewelry, narrowing. His eyes weren’t that good for that and the numbers were too small. He pointed to one, than he found another more expensive... Then he found a third one. He got angry and happy when he found another. He giggled as he was playing like a child. It took five chances till he found the right one.

"Look, look Muds... It’s that one" he pointed to a ring that was made from gold. It was a single one and had beautiful little crystals on it, or were them diamonds? It matched with a gorgeous necklace made from gold as well. The pendant was a rock Stuart liked very much, it was a blue-greenish one or a green-bluish one, he couldn’t decide the color but it was beautiful either way. He leaned closer the case staring at it.

There were more beautiful sets than that one, cheaper than it too, but Murdoc asked for the most expensive. "It’s beautiful innit, love....?" he asked him with a smile and a soft voice.

Murdoc looked at the ring and necklace set. It was a gold band with clear diamonds down the middle, getting smaller as they fanned out. The necklace had a bluish green sapphire  hanging from a gold thin chain. He chuckled.

"You really can't stay away from the blue and green can you?" The set together was nearly 10 grand. He gave a whistle. "I think you found the most expensive thing my love." He said. He made a mental note to save up to be able to buy the kid something like that sometime. He didn't have enough money for that at the moment, but once more albums sold for Demon Dayz and they got the checks, he'd be able to.

"Do you really like jewelry Stu? I never see you wear it." Murdoc asked.

Stuart blushed it was really the most expensive one he felt proud for the first time he found it first.

"My.... Mother used to wear it, Muds. I always saw her with gorgeous necklaces rings and earrings when we went to birthday parties or weddings, some were my grandmother's and some my father that gave her... I wondered if I could use them, one day but she told me it was something for woman use and.... that when I grow older I could give something like that to my girlfriend or wife .... that happened to be you..." he chuckled "She told me I was too clumsy and couldn’t use it without breaking it or ....losing, and it was really expensive, the gold and silver ones she had...." he explained him softly. His father had a good taste for jewelry and always made Rachel happy with them.

He looked back to the case "But I always found it beautiful, Muds.... if i could afford to pay I'd wear. I like anything that shines, fireworks, Christmas lights, candles......" he looked at the Satanist "That's why I like so much your cross love.... you're gorgeous wearing it" he chuckled. he always played with it cuz he really liked it. "And you, Muds, like jewelry....?" he whispered going to play again with his cross.

Murdoc shook his head, "Nah, I could never afford it and just never thought about it...." he smiled and pulled the singer closer then grabbed one of his hands and examined his long fingers. He looked at the jewelry, then back to his fingers.

"You would look good in a band.... a thicker gold band that maybe has some jewels set into it. I don't think you'd do well with any jewels that stuck out of it like those gaudy wedding rings birds love. Wedding bands are the way to go, more subtle, more personal." He said without really thinking. He was making more an observation than anything.

If he was to get Stuart and him one for.... reasons, he'd get matching black bands with intricate Celtic designs throughout and it would contain only three jewels. On one side would be a blue sapphire, the other a green sapphire and the middle would be a blue/green sapphire. Fuck diamonds, he didn't like the monopoly on them, they were way overpriced and impersonal.

Stuart blushed when he grabbed his hand looking at Murdoc while he spoke. "Y-you really think, Muds....?" he asked with a smile biting his lip. Murdoc finding something in him beautiful always made Stuart happy. "S-so I agree with you.... One day I'll buy one for me ...."

He said innocently believing in Murdoc's taste more than in anyone's and not getting what Murdoc meant. He just wanted to make him happy using something Murdoc found beautiful in him. Stuart changed positions with his hand grabbing it and kissing it sweetly looking at him. Sometimes he couldn’t understand why a person intelligent and with good standards like Murdoc would be with someone like the goofy singer who had childish games and actions. was easily delighted and simple to please with anything.

Murdoc chuckled, "Yes, I mean it love." He raised an eyebrow when the singer said he would buy one for himself. He was sometimes a bit thick, but it was okay. He didn't need to know everything the Satanist was thinking.

He held his hand and walked him into the store. He went up to the counter. "Excuse me, can we get our finger sizes measured real quick? I'm curious......" he said being as vague as possible.

Stuart joined him into the store and was so mesmerized about all the other shining stuff there that he didn’t even hear what Murdoc said.

He took some moments to process what he said and became excited "I always wanted to know my size Muds...." he showed the woman his hand. Her eyes widened, it was a beautiful and soft pair of hands, a bit tanned. They could easily use them as model for their rings "Ring finger please" he asked her and she raised a brow. How old would be that tall lad to ask her that?

"Sure sir" she looked at Murdoc "are you looking for something specific?" she frowned not believing they were looking for wedding rings for themselves "for your brides?" she smiled. Stuart tilted his head unsure of what to answer her.

Murdoc laughed, "Nah, love. Looking at just rings sizes for us. Suppose if I ever wanted to marry this bloke, would probably be good to know his size yeah?" He said it in a way that was true but almost sounded like it could be just a joke if you didn't pay attention. He didn't know if he was fully on board with the idea of marriage but it was good to be sure.

He held out his hand to get the size. "Always good to be prepared, yeah?" He said, winking at the woman and wrapping an arm around Stuart. "Btw.... do you guys do custom jewelry here......?" He asked subtly.

Stuart looked at him giggling nervously. If Murdoc ever asked his size, he wouldn’t be able to tell him as he himself didn’t know. He didn’t know Murdoc's size either.

The woman nodded "Of course sir...." she held his hand looking at his big claws. She wanted to have nails that long. Something in his tone told her they were a couple. Something in the way the singer looked at him in adoration and that hug. She smiled.

She grabbed a pair of golden rings she thought fit their fingers to see their sizes. She did that on purpose, the model ring wasn’t even silver. "We do custom jewelry here too, what are you thinking about, necklace, rings?" she asked curiously.

Once she slipped the matching rings on their fingers Stuart's eyes widened and for a moment, he grabbed Murdoc's hand and placed them two together just admiring. His eyes shined seeing both hands with rings. He found that was the most beautiful sight he had a while. He bit his lip. It was much more beautiful than the jewelry his mother had. He smiled to the woman "It fits." he giggled "I think that’s our size..." he whispered a bit emotional like the sweet dolt he was.

He turned to Murdoc with his eyes a bit watering "Why custom, Muds? Want something for you....?" yeah he was dense.

Murdoc lifted an eyebrow. "Uh.... sure.... yeah I'm looking for something for.... me." He chuckled. He looked at the bands together and smiled. They looked good together at least, but was marriage really necessary for the rings? Couldn't he just.... give him a ring and that'd be that? He'd have to still think about that.

He looked at the woman. "It'd be a ring.... rings......" he quickly added so only she would hear. He looked at Stu.

"Alright I think we got sizes, let’s get going, yeah?" He rubbed his shoulder. "Which means we have to give the ring back my love." He whispered in his ear and kissed his forehead, smiling at how cute the singer was right now.

Stuart pouted sadly for a moment not wanting to leave his ring. But oh okay, he couldn’t buy it now. He took some more moments looking at their hands together till he gave her back the rings. That was a vision he wouldn’t forget. "Thanks lady..." he whispered. She nodded to them giving Murdoc a card of the store so he could go there later and make his order.

He smiled to Murdoc when he heard rings. Would be one for him? He stored this thought for later. "At least now we know our numbers huh?" he leaned closer him walking outta the store. "Thanks for all your patience with me, love. I behave just like a child sometimes.” he chuckled rubbing the back of his neck.

Murdoc smiled and jumped up a bit to kiss him. "It's quite alright love. I liked going in there. It was.... informative." He said, sticking the card into his back pocket. He liked the idea of making them rings, it sounded sweet.

He guided the singer next to a pet shop. He figured the guy had to like pets, he was too much of a puppy to not like pets. It was another good way to kill some time before going to dinner. The pet store was also pretty big too. A huge variety of pets everywhere.

Stuart followed him to the pet store. Again his eyes shone seeing the variety of things inside. "Oh God Muds can we please enter... ? We can buy something for Cortez or I dunno...." he said excitedly. The only pet he could think about was Cortez and since he lost Elizabeth he always missed a little pet for them. But must be one that could be carried around cuz they were hardly ever home and it would need care. He squeezed his hand with pleading eyes biting his lips, he looked adorable.

Murdoc laughed and nodded, "Go for it, my love. Look around. I'll probably look at the reptiles." He said pointing over towards them

 He wasn't much of an animal person, or fuzzy animal really but he does like snakes and lizards. He thought Stuart looked adorable, looked just like a child.

He ruffled his hair, "Let me know if you find anything you like." He said, walking over to the reptiles. He looked at each of the reptiles, enjoying each on in its own uniqueness. They were cool creatures, really misunderstood really.

Stuart yelped happily and walked into the store looking everywhere he could for nice stuff. There were many toys, collars, dog and cat food, scratchers, birdcages and pets in general. He looked through the collars and remembered how Murdoc wore his and looked hot. He blushed and swallowed hard.

He walked past the puppies and kitties giving them tiny scratches on their heads. There were even a furless cat there he stood a little more time looking at. Then he walked to the bird part of the store. There were many beautiful and colorful birds there, unfortunately all caged. He remembered Cortez, what would he like? He looked through bird food. There wasn’t anything specific for ravens but he thought that some mixed seeds would make him happy so he grabbed a package.

Cortez couldn’t use a collar or a leash, or tiny clothes made for animals, but he liked shinning stuff... So Stuart thought for a second. He went to the toys store and grabbed rattles, clappers, little balls made from metal that made noises, anything he could find that shone.

Soon he was with lots of stuff in his hand and went back to where Murdoc was. "Look love, think Cortez will like it?" he said excited like a child. He stopped looking to the lizards. They looked gorgeous. "I think they would look better with fur...." he laughed "They  would be fluffy and cool to cuddle.... don’t you think Muds....?" he looked closer "It has your skin tone..." he laughed seeing the green ones and leaning closer his boyfriend. "I saw a hairless cat over there, love, it looks like a lizard someway......" he chuckled

Murdoc chuckled, "Those cats are pretty great aren’t they? I love the hairless ones. I never really thought to get one though.... they need a lot of care. And excuse me?!" He played as if he was offended. "Are you saying I'm like a lizard?" He laughed and winked, flicking out his tongue like a snake.

He looked at all the stuff Stuart had, "Well.... looks like my boyfriend has been pretty busy. Let’s go buy this stuff yeah?" He chuckled and guided him to the counter, taking some of the supplies to help him out. He was warmed by how much stuff the singer was willing to get for Cortez.... the bird definitely deserved it.

As they were being rang up, he looked at Stuart. "You ready to eat or did you need anything else? We got time to put this stuff in the car real quick then come back" he looked out and saw it was getting more dusk out.

"Of course you're not a lizard Mu’doc.... I'm just saying your skin reminds me of one...." it was a compliment for Stuart. He pouted. "And tongue." He shivered.

He was happy with his little treats for Cortez. He just hoped the bird would like them too. He walked out happily from the store. "I'm ready Muds.... actually I'm hungry...." he told him excitedly. "Where you wanna bring me? Is it a surprise....?" He said with a big smile walking to the geek with him.

Murdoc smiled. "That's a surprise love. Oh.... shit.... I'm sorry love. You know what I forgot? I forgot to tell that music store how to get directly to the door at our studio because of the zombies. Would you be okay taking these things to the Geep real quick? I promise I'll meet you at the end of the park if I don't get back to you earlier." He handed all the bags to Stuart before he could answer. He felt bad doing that but he had something to do and Stuart couldn't know.

He ran back to the shops, looking as if he went into the music store, but he really snuck his way over to the jewelry store when Stuart wasn't looking. He went up to the counter and talked to the girl from earlier about the custom rings since she remembered their sizes. He told her the exact type he wanted with the sapphire gems and the black bands. He then had them engrave 'My Bluebird' on Stuart's ring and 'My Blackbird' on Murdoc's. He knew Stuart would love them.

Stuart smiled and nodded to him. He didn't feel bad at all. He really thought it was something important that Murdoc might have forgotten. Soon he was at the park waiting for him. He looked for a nice spot to see the sun going down. He sighed seeing the sun leaving.... He was smiling. He had an amazing day with Murdoc and he just hoped Murdoc felt the same. He wondered if Russel had bought strawberries or grapes in his last grocery. He just wanted to thank Murdoc for everything he had done for him.

He leaned against a tree and patiently waited for him.

Murdoc came out of the shop and went running to find Stuart. He was happy, the lady told him they would be ready within a month and she'd call him when they came in. He found his singer resting against a tree, watching the sunset. He sat down next to him.

"You do okay taking the bags back? Sorry about that Stuart." He smiled and leaned his head against the singer shoulder, watching the sunset as well. They still had a little time.

Stuart was so spaced out seeing the sunset he didn't notice Murdoc coming. "Uh oh hey love.... I did .... don't need to be sorry.... "He smiled to him sweetly and wrapped an arm around his shoulders

 "You arrived just in time Muds...." he looked forward "this is the best part...." he told him holding his hand and playing with his fingers

"When we can count till the sun goes down completely see....?" He pointed to the horizon.... "3....2......1 And poof" he chuckled "the sun is gone. And.... another day that I could fall in love with you once more.... goes by...." he whispered kissing his hand. "Thanks for today blackbird...." he leaned closer and kissed his cheek.

Murdoc blushed as as the singer told him such sweet things. He chuckled, "How the hell are you still so adorable? You continue to surprise me each and every day Bluebird. You know that?" He kissed his nose sweetly, running a hand through his hair. He looked deep into his eyes.

"I love you.... you know that? Truly...." he held his hand. "You're very welcome for today, I wish I could do it every day." He smiled. "Are you ready to eat? I imagine you're hungry, it's been a long day hasn't it?" It was one of the best long days. He was almost too excited to show him the rings. He would have to make sure he didn't accidentally tell him too early.

Stuart giggled finding adorable him blushing cuz of his words. He bit his lip when Murdoc looked at him that deep. "I am ready, my love...." he smiled "lead the way captain...." he chuckled and leaned closer kissing him. He cupped his face with both hands and kissed him sweetly and passionately.

He broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around him tightly. "Mine...." he whispered "I love you......" he nuzzled his face on his chest.

Murdoc smiled and pet his hair, as he hugged him back. "I love you so much......" he whispered as they just hugged for a few minutes, enjoying each other. After a few moments, he helped Stuart get up and walked with their hands clasped together.

He walked him to a very nice restaurant, one that required reservations. They were a little underdressed but thankfully, it didn't matter. Murdoc had reserved one of the private tables for them. One that was in it's own little room with a view. It was quite nice actually. They could say or do what they wanted without worrying about people bugging them. Murdoc had looked everywhere for a place like that and had been ecstatic when he found it.

Stuart joined him in the way to the restaurant. His jaw fell when he saw how it is. He bit his lip hard, when Murdoc made the reservation for that? He shook his head, the place was stunning.

They entered and the singer looked to the floor all the time too ashamed of looking up. He felt undressed for the occasion but extremely happy. They sat down and he looked at the bassist. "Muds this is.... amazing." he whispered seeing the view they had. "You did all this...... for me....?" he bit his lip again and held his hands on the table.

Murdoc, grinning, held the singer’s hand and gave it a few squeezes, "I did Bluebird. All for you. Because I love you. You're the sweetest person I've ever met and I owe you my life. I owe you everything really. You mean the world to me and I'm just so glad you like this private room." He chuckled, bringing his hands up to kiss.

"I want to give you everything. Truly." He whispered to him. He looked over at their view, taking it all in. A waiter came up and handed them their menus and gave them their water.

"Anything special to drink besides water, gentlemen?" He asked. Murdoc shook his head. Of course, he wanted alcohol but he needed to behave. He looked at Stuart to see if he wanted anything besides water.

Stuart's lip quivered with those words. He hid his face so the waiter wouldn't see him getting emotive looking through the window. He couldn’t answer.

Stuart was awake from his thoughts when he heard another voice that wasn't Murdoc's "Oh.... er" he saw he didn't want  anything. "Juice? An orange one..." he said in a low tone trying to smile. He wouldn’t drink too to enjoy with Murdoc. And last night drinking already took the best of him. "Thank you" he looked at Murdoc again. Now he really felt like a god.

Murdoc smiled wide, seeing how adorable the singer was. He squeezed his hands gently after the waiter left. "So.... has being with me been everything you had hoped and dreamed so far?" He laughed. He really hoped he wasn't too disappointing so far. The kid really deserved someone nice, which took Murdoc too long to figure out.

"And did you think ole' Muds would bring you somewhere so fancy?" He smiled. He knew that had to at least have been a surprise to Stuart. He'd never been to a place like this before, but he could definitely get used to it.

Stuart blushed again "much better than anything I could have dreamed Muds.... this place is amazing.... And I don't even know when you had time to book it...." He chuckled. "I really don't deserve this much, love.... I'm glad you're really that happy with me...." he said honestly.

"I never thought you'd be this romantic too...." he rested his chin on his hand thinking that Murdoc was more the type of just fucking and drinking "Am I a good boyfriend ....?" He whispered.

Murdoc smiled over hearing how happy the singer was with the place and everything else. He stared back at Stuart lovingly; this place really put one in a more romantic mood.

"You're a better one than I deserve.... you're perfect." Murdoc stated without hesitation. They were both like a couple of odd puzzle pieces that didn't fit in the set, but fit together perfectly. He gave him a sweet smile as he also rested his chin on his hands to look at Stu.

He scoffed playfully at his comment about Murdoc not being romantic. "Excuse me. I can be VERY romantic. I just.... it's kind of embarrassing." He chuckled.

"You're dealing pretty good with embarrassment huh?" Stuart teased. "I think I wouldn't be able to do something this romantic to thank you...." he chuckled "why this place, my love....? Any especial reason?" He asked curiously looking into his eyes.

It was a special place but he didn't know if it was a special date.... even Murdoc wasn't drinking so he could tell things definitely changed.

Murdoc smiled charmingly, "well, you know, I do what I can." He winked at the kid. "And.... I don't really know. I mostly picked it because of this room. Now no one will bother us, and I knew we wouldn't exactly be dressed for the place. I thought it would be a good romantic place just for us yeah? I would cook for you.... but I can't cook." He laughed.

"I wanted to treat my boyfriend. You deserve it." He smiled. The waiter came up and asked them if they were ready to order. Murdoc looked at the menu curiously. "Uh......" he had never eaten anywhere this fancy before. "I'll get the duck with risotto...." he said slowly. The guy nodded and looked at Stu.

Stuart laughed as well. It was actually a good choice Murdoc made. They were in a private place just the two of them. Normally dates didn’t work out well cuz of other people, maybe this time would be different. "Anytime we should try cooking something together huh? it would be funny no one knowing how to cook trying to make a meal...." it was a dumb idea but well, they always ate what Russel mate or junk food, it was nice doing something different. "I bet i can remember someone my mother's recipes...."

He looked up to him not understanding much of what was written "I'll have the same as him.... please "He for sure never had duck before and he didn’t know what was a risotto, but oh well, he would eat fancy as he was in a fancy place. Nothing could not be tasty. He was much more interested in deserts "Look Muds, here they have fruit salad with ice cream...." he pointed to the picture with many strawberries and grapes.

Murdoc smiled when the singer showed him the menu with all the deserts. Of course, the kid with the sweet tooth was focused on deserts, but Murdoc did take an interest in the fruits. He was happy knowing the singer took an interest in what he'd told him just earlier.

"First, little bird, you have to eat dinner. Have you ever had duck?" He asked curiously. He'd sure as hell never had it before. He heard it was good so hopefully, he chose right.

"No Muds.... I heard it’s a greasy meat somewhere...." he looked up and placed a finger on his lips thinking. "Have you ever had duck, love....?" he looked down "And what’s a risotto...?" he asked ashamed of his lack of knowledge in food. "Are you sure you'll not gonna drink today my love....?" he said in a low tone grabbing his hands on the table again. He was a bit nervous cuz the place was really fancy and he felt undressed and stupid not knowing half of what was written

Murdoc chewed his bottom lip a bit. "It's supposedly good if you have it cooked properly. And hell no Dents. Do I look like I have eaten a meal that costs more than 20 quid my entire life? That duck alone is worth more than probably most of the food in our studio" He snorted. He didn't know if that was entirely true, he was just trying to prove a point to the singer, who grabbed his hands and looked at him asking him about drinking.

He furrowed his brows, "Well of course I want a drink, I always want a drink Stuart. I just am.... restraining myself. For you...." he looked down. "You know how I get when I drink. This isn't the time and place...." he mumbled.

Stuart chuckled.... "Well you're the owner of your own band.... so you don't look like you're poor...." he looked at their hands "Well if I wasn't in the band.... I probably wouldn't be able to afford that too... so.... thanks Muds...." he said with a fond smile. He wouldn't have money for these expensive and fancy places in a regular job.

"I was just curious...." he mumbled looking down. He was just excited so he started asking and talking too much. "Thanks for that too... " they could drink another time.

Murdoc looked up and bit his lip. He ruined the mood. He stood up and walked around the table to Stuart. He lifted up the singer’s chin and he leaned over and kissed him deeply. He put his hands into his hair and ran them through lovingly. Then he pulled away just slightly.

"Sorry Bluebird. I'm just really wanting to behave for you… you know how I get. I'm more than willing to have some wine or Champaign with you if you'd like. I just wasn't sure, with everything that happened last night." He whispered and smiled at the singer.

Stuart was surprised with that act. "D-don’t be sorry love... You did nothing wrong.... I'm just nervous and asking too much...." he smiled to him caressing his face.

"I'm not that good after last night.... I think I'm not much of a tequila drinker in the end...." he chuckled

 "I'm really happy you don't drink the way you used too.... I know we're celebrating now but... I just remember the times you used to drink a lot and.... It wasn't cuz you were happy y'know?" He bit his lip, sometimes he would just pass out drink and ramble about his father or his childhood it was so sad.

He cupped his face and rubbed his nose against his broken one adorably. "I love you... let's drink together later huh? I'd love to shag you drunk again, let’s have our expensive we-can-pay-for-it dinner" he laughed and ruffled his hair

Murdoc beamed at him and nodded. He felt a small shiver of excitement at the thought of drunk sex again. He'd had a lot of fun the night before, even if Stuart had freaked out a bit. But Murdoc liked that too because then he got to be the one to comfort him, with more sex of course, but that was beside the point.

"I love you too. You have yourself a deal." He winked and grabbed his hands to kiss real quick before going to sit back down.

"Oh.... and a risotto is like.... a rice with a broth and a bunch of other fancy things." He laughed, waving his hand around. "I'm not entirely sure, I just hope it's good, yeah?" He laughed.

"It sounds good Muds.... Well much more than things I'm used to eat normally...." he told him honestly. "I eat so much junk food love .... I dunno how I'm this skinny" he laughed looking at himself a bit. "Will I be always this skinny Muds....?" He asked curiously not really thinking "cuz I know how you like to feed me and take me out to eat" he chuckled. It wasn't something common, he usually skipped meals and was too drugged to remember to eat sometimes.

Murdoc shrugged, "You are fairly skinny anyways. I'm sure you'll always be pretty skinny, even if I keep feeding you. You're like Noodle. No matter how much you eat, you keep it off. I've got a bit of a belly...... on the other hand." He put his hand over his stomach. He wasn’t big or anything, but he definitely wasn't fit in any way. He pursed his lips. Maybe one of these days he'd work on that.... he never really wanted to diet or exercise. He supposed as long as Stuart was still interested in sex, there was no way he'd go without that.

"Well you had this belly since you were younger?" He folded his arms looking at him with a smile. He thought that maybe it came with his age.

He giggled seeing he was looking at his belly. "Don't worry love.... I like your beer belly.... it's sexy..." he winked to him playfully. If he was closer he would pinch it. "I like to bite it when I'm going to blow you....” he told him fondly touching his hand with his fingertips. Stuart really liked it and didn't mind if he wasn't fit.

Murdoc smirked, "Well. As long as you like it." Just then, a couple waiters came in to serve them their duck, risotto and the sides of bread and veggies it came with. It looked fancy and delicious. Murdoc wondered if there were people who ate like this all the time. It was too expensive for his taste to have constantly and it looked like it wouldn't mix well with alcohol.... he looked up to Stu.

"How does it look love?" He asked, hoping he liked it. He was a little nervous about it. This wasn't what he usually ate.

"Fancy" Stuart giggled poking the food with his fork. It looked delicious but he didn't know half of the things that were in that rice.

He took a bite and it was actually very good. His brows rose surprised. "Try it love.... it's.... different...."he chuckled.

He was up to different things once in a lifetime.... he just hoped He wasn't allergic to anything and Murdoc liked it.

Murdoc smiled and tried some. He nodded, pleasantly surprised. "Damn.... that's not bad at all. It's probably the nicest food we'll eat.... ever. " He laughed and held his water up to toast.

"To us.... the weirdest, craziest, couple of love birds to ever live." He looked Stuart in the eyes. "I know I've said this before, but thank you Stuart. Thank you for bring there and loving me even when I didn't deserve it. I still don't actually. You're kind to me when I need it, you're a wanker when I need it and I have come to love you when I never really thought I'd love anyone." He could feel his cheeks flushing slightly from embarrassment. "Thank you Stu.... thank you for loving me and, well, letting me love you, yeah?" He smiled.

Stuart bit his lip hard and came to Murdoc in a sincere way evolving him in the most warm and honest hug he could. He couldn't toast back. He sighed trying to hide his emotions a bit. He pulled off him and looked into his eyes.

"To us Muds.... the oddest and freakiest couple on earth." He whispered to him with a large smile. "I.... don't have anything here to offer.... But...... I offer you my heart and my soul if you want......" he leaned closer and kissed his forehead his cheeks his wonky nose and then his lips taking time in it. He bit his lip hard "I.... wish one day.... I could marry you... the man of my dreams...." he said in a tone barely above a whisper chuckling nervously going back to his place and his food "You're wrong in just one thing Muds.... You deserve to be loved.... and I just hope I can continue to be your Bluebird.... forever y'know....? It would make me really happy...." he looked down to his food eating it silently.

It was silent for a moment and Murdoc just smiled. "You're so fucking cute.... I want to...." he took a deep breath, embarrassed about what he was going to say next, "make love to you.... that's what they say right? I love you so much." He reached across and grabbed his hand. He shook a little bit about what he was going to say next.

"And.... I uh.... I wouldn't say no...." he looked at him sheepishly, hoping Stuart knew what he meant. He wouldn't say no to Stuart asking him. He squeezed his eyes shut trying to calm himself. He had no idea what Stuart would make of him saying something like that.

Stuart smiled to him back "i wouldn't say no to you either...." he told him back blushing. He wouldn't say no to Murdoc even if he proposed him in the middle of an argument. Murdoc was being so sweet so gentle so caring that night.... he would never forget that surprise and how he made him feel.

When Murdoc closed his eyes, he wiped his tears quickly so he wouldn't see them and giggled nervously. 'He wouldn’t say no.... He wouldn't say no!' His mind screamed to him. He bit his lip while his eyes watered again. He thought his idea was so.... simple so stupid. He would never accept. He squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes silently sniffling. Soon he was smiling. That was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Right in front of him for 8 years. "Muds...." he whispered.

Murdoc cracked his eyes open slowly. "Yeah?" He gave him a fond grin when he saw Stuart smiling. He heart was beating out of his chest, he really loved the kid. How'd he miss him for so long? He was always there....

"I'm really happy I get to share this dream with you Stuart. My dream, our dream now. You are what made it come true...." he whispered. He kissed his hands and nuzzled them against his face.

Stuart just held his hand.... he leaned closer him.... "Muds look I'm not proposing you or anything but...." he swallowed hard "Just answer sincerely.... would you marry me?" He whispered quietly for him. "One day.... not now... But would you like to....?"

Since they didn't have a proper proposal to date the singer just wanted to hear if he would or not. He was dying to ask that and hoped Murdoc wouldn't get mad.

Murdoc chuckled and swallowed, "I would Stu. Someday, yeah? I never really.... got marriage you know? Don't get me wrong Stuart, just uh, help an old man understand, yeah?" He chuckled nervously hoping he wasn't offending Stuart. "Maybe I'm just a little cynical you know? Why do people get married.... exactly? Or I guess.... what's appealing about marrying me, you know?" He squeezed his hands and gave him a soft smile.

Stuart nodded understanding with a smile "Of course Muds.... I was just asking...." he told him softly. "Thanks for answering me, love." he said letting his hand go and going back to his food silently.

For him marriage was something that after he saw his parents together he thought it actually worked and was about love and trust. That was what he had with Murdoc in the end… For him there was no age for that. And after hearing Roberto he got interested in it. But why? Maybe for Murdoc there was no purpose in marriage. And that was okay. A tiny part of him felt hurt with his answer.

"That's delicious Muds.... I hope we can come back here one day" he gave him one of his biggest smiles. It was like Murdoc said yes. He would try to avoid this topic cuz he was just too in love and much younger than Murdoc.... he would keep things as they were not rushing

Murdoc's shoulders slumped a bit and he chewed on his lip. He felt like he said something wrong, which he didn't intend for at all. Stuart didn't answer his question, which, maybe Murdoc shouldn't have asked it now. He swallowed and looked down at his food, hating the loss of contact.

He poked his duck, thinking. He hated his father the most at the moment. All he could think about was how he'd made Murdoc too cynical. Maybe if he'd shown Murdoc some type of affection he wouldn't be screwing things up right now. He always had a knack for doing that it seemed. He didn't want to seem like he was against it, he just.... needed a little help.

Stuart took some time to think about an answer to Murdoc's question. His slow brain didn’t make it easier for him. He looked up at him with a gentle smile noticing how Murdoc was a bit sad with his reaction.

"Muds..." he tried to start "I dunno why people get married.... mostly for money or having a conservative Cristian family with two kids and a puppy...." he joked playing with his duck. "For me.... I think that's what happens when two people love each other.... very much, they get married y’know?" he bit his lip "I...... am really in love with you, that's why I asked. I wasn’t expecting you to say yes or anything. I'm not saying if we don’t get married I would be mad or sad with you." he was being really honest.

"What's appealing about marrying you?" he chuckled "What's not appealing love...." he grabbed his hand again looking apologetical that he left it before "You're handsome, really charming, you're amazing in bed doing wild sex or making love to me, you're funny, very clever, you take care of me much more than my parents did, and above all, you changed. You can be a little cynical and that’s okay, but you're a better man now than when I first met you and there’s no money in the world that can buy that Muds...." he looked down at their hands together

"Love is what makes us change for better I guess.... that's.... that's why I want to marry you.... so .... we can be better people to each other and...... treat each other well and improve in life." he thought he might be saying something dumb. "Besides I'd really love to introduce you to people as my husband and use your surname" he blushed really hard now. In other times, Murdoc would punch him so hard in the face for even think about that "t-that was why I got so happy seeing our hands with rings.... I'm romantic and very stupid Muds.... I'm really sorry"

"I just want to spend the rest of my life with you y’know? Married or not, dating or not, even just shagging or only mates...... those are only labels." he rubbed his hand looking nervous "I can’t lose you, Mu’doc." he said seriously "I don’t function without you." he looked into his eyes.

"I know I made a fuss about telling everyone about us...... that we are together. But I'm not sorry for that." he frowned "I just.... was afraid someone could come and take you away from me.... if for everyone you were single.... " he squeezed his hand again hating this thought. "There are...... many other people around there much better than me.... and.... ." he looked at Murdoc "In the beginning I didn’t know if you would really want me or fight for me, cuz.... I didn’t think I was worth for you and I'm sorry." his low self stem issues were a burden sometimes.

he let his hand go again looking at his food. "We don’t have to do anything you don’t want or find pointless, love. I'm just terrified that someday I might lose you." he whispered going back to eat. Murdoc was really important for him and he was used to have him around so he couldn’t help try to grab him and never let him go. With dating or marriage.... his fear blinded him to see that his Blackbird even with the cage's gate opened wouldn’t fly away? Would he? He sighed. He was overthinking again after those dreams and the witch. Something kept telling him something could take them apart.

By the end of Stuart's speech, Murdoc was beat red. Is that how the kid really felt? All that? That's what marriage meant to him? Murdoc understood a little better now.

"You're worth everything to me......" he whispered, getting a little choked up. He brought his hands up to hide his red, embarrassed face. He was so happy to hear all that. He had to wait a minute before he could speak.

"Hurry up and eat.... we.... I.... together......" he stuttered out. He wanted nothing more than to touch the singer right now. More than a hand. He wanted to kiss the singer’s entire body, touch, show Stuart just how much he loved him. Show him just how much he needed him in his life.

When it came to this sort of talk, he was no good. He became too embarrassed over it, especially talking about it in a place like. He brought his hands down and peered up slightly at Stuart through his bangs, his face still red.

"Thanks Stu...." he chuckled nervously and smiled. "I love you too...... more than.... more than you can ever know.... Stuart. You.... I've never known anyone like you....  I couldn't live without you. You're my Bluebird, you're my singer, you're my love.... you're my life Stuart." He hid his face again embarrassed and smiling.

Stuart heard his adorable giggle and smiled sweetly to him. His heart beat fast and he found lovely how Murdoc was blushing hard. He knew he had problems with verbal communication.... Murdoc was much more about non verbal.... and the singer didn't mind it. He didn't care if he didn't get an answer. He just wanted Murdoc happy and be honest with him and about how he felt. Thankfully no one was there to see how embarrassed he was besides the singer. He felt blessed.

"Don't mention it love...." he told him in a whisper "we can do anything you please after here.... I'm all yours. Forever." he winked to him going back to his food. He could feel his own face blushing a dark red and a funny sensation in his stomach. Was that how we suppose to feel when in love? He giggled alone.

"But can I have a dessert or you wanna leave as soon as I finish. .?" He looked at him owlishly. He wanted to feed him like he said he would with those fruits. No one would see them into that private room would?

Murdoc smiled wide, "Of course, whatever you want love. I'd wait for you forever...." he was so happy, he wasn't worried about anything. As long as he was with Stuart, that's all that mattered to him.

He looked back down at his food smiling. He started eating more, it was delicious, maybe even better now. "I think......" he said aloud suddenly. "You and I were meant to be together. You know? It's perfect. I needed a singer, you needed someone who recognized the potential in your voice. We're complete opposites but still.... similar, you know?" He grinned wide, taking another bite of his food.

"Do you believe in fate? I never used to but.... I could have ran my car into another window, yeah? Or never done it at all. It just.... all aligned perfectly, you know?"

Stuart smiled to him "I believe Muds.... but I believe even further...." he stopped eating and began talking "even if I didn't have the voice of a singer or even a beautiful voice or you didn't want to form a band.... even if you didn’t know how to play the bass or anything.... we would still be together if we met y'know believe that? Even if the accident never happened.... and I had my original eyes.... even if you had a normal nose, Muds...." he looked at him fondly rambling "We would meet in a bank's queue or.... in drinking in a pub.... or in the grocery store...." he chuckled "maybe I would never ever dated Paula if you came first huh? It would happen love.... even if I was working in that store and you had another dream or job and came to me to ask about why my hair was blue.... we would be mates.... I would like you.... I know that...." he giggled totally in love.

"Maybe a relationship it would take more time to happen but...." he said seriously "even if you Weren't into dating stuff and preferred kissing and fucking random people being single... I would have asked you to date me...." he blushed "even if you dumped me...." he laughed "You're one of a kind, Muds.... and I'm glad I can show you every day how much you mean to me...." he said finishing his risotto.

Murdoc chuckled, imagining all the possibilities he described. "Could you imagine me with a normal nose?" He snorted and nodded, "but I agree. I think you and I were meant to be.... something. We were meant to be in each other’s lives." He pushed his food away, having finished most of it now.

"You're one of a kind Stu. You really are. And I'm the lucky one that gets to be with you." He smiled sweetly. His heart felt so warm and he felt so happy. He was the luckiest person in the world right now. It felt unreal. Just then, the waiter came in.

"Everything going okay, gentlemen? Tastes all okay? The waiter asked, taking Murdoc's plate.

Murdoc nodded, "Yeah, mate. Really good. Stu here wants to order desert, yeah?" The waiter nodded and looked at Stuart to zee what he'd like.

Stuart narrowed his eyes trying to imagine him with a normal nose.... "well Muds I think it would be long like your father's... Or similar to your mother's? I dunno...." he actually liked his wonky nose a lot.... he wouldn't change it like Murdoc wouldn’t change his eyes to normal ones he bet. "I think it's perfect the way it is...."

"Yeah it's awesome!" He said happily to the waiter "compliment the chef for us please...." he always wanted to tell that in a fancy restaurant "I want number 5...." he told him as he had memorized the dish of the fruit salad before. He just hoped the waiter got it. "You want anything else to drink my love?" He asked Murdoc.

Murdoc shook his head. The waiter nodded and left to go place the order. Murdoc kept his gaze on Stuart, his eyes watching him lovingly. "I'll drink when we get home." He whispered and winked, resting his chin in his hands again.

"So which desert did you go for?" He forgot to look at the menu to see which number the singer was talking about. "Is it messy?" He chuckled and then smiled deviously, hatching a lewd plan to tease the singer.

"You know.... we have chocolate syrup at home.... I could be your desert instead." He laughed and stuck his tongue out playfully. He'd never had anyone lick syrup off him before. Murdoc was never a fan of chocolate, so he never had the syrup.

"You'll see when it comes my love...." Stuart purred looking for his hand to hold it lovingly. "And your idea is really good.... but only if you don't mind staying sticky afterwards...." he chuckled "You're really hairy Muds.... but you covered in chocolate sounds interesting...." he stuck his tongue out thinking about sucking him off with chocolate taste. He folded his legs under the table getting a bit aroused.

"I know you don't like sweets but if you wanted to cover me with it and lick it.... I wouldn't mind at all...." he chuckled "or cover me with something you please licking... " he looked at their hands trying to avoid his dirty thoughts and biting his lip.

Murdoc's eyes widened in amusement as his grin widened. He was getting excited and he was happy Stuart seemed to be too. "Well you know, that's definitely a possibility...." he growled seductively. "I could do whip cream and strawberries all over you instead of chocolate." He snorted, he needed to behave a little better since they were still in public.

That thought was going to go out the window though because he's Murdoc Niccals. He brought their hands up to his mouth and he slowly brought one of Stuart's fingers into his mouth and started slowly sucking on it, keeping his eyes on Stuart the entire time. He loved playing like this.

Stuart bit his lip even harder "I-it sounds really interesting, Blackbird...... we just need to buy these stuff.... the rest you may leave it up to me.... I promise id be a good desert...." he chuckled nervously. He knew there was a reason why Murdoc wanted a private place.

Stuart shivered when he did that.... his eyes widened and he crossed his legs even harder to hide his boner. His order could come anytime now and he couldn't be saw like that.

He looked into his eyes "I want you to suck something more interesting than my fingers when we reach home love......" he whispered and smirked. If Murdoc could do it he could do too. He moved his finger slightly into his mouth to tease him. He knew how he provoked Murdoc whole day throughout the stores.

Murdoc grin turned to a seductive smirk. "Oh.... oh Bluebird." He laughed. "Do you really want to play this game here? Because I guarantee I will win...." he winked. He was trying to play it cool, like he didn't have a hard on. He knew the singer did, he saw him squirming. Murdoc wanted to tease him since the singer had teased him all day and he couldn't retaliate.

Just then, the waiter came in, bringing the fruit and setting it down between them. He hardly even noticed the two, staying professional. "Here we go, enjoy." He said, before turning around and leaving.

Murdoc looked down at the fruit. "You got fruit?" He smiled and lifted an eyebrow.

Stuart didn't even care about his threatens or challenges. He knew Murdoc would win. He didn't mind about teasing.... he would fell for him and beg like he always did. And the reward would be amazing he knew. He was just glad that after much time he could still manage to tease him. Thankfully, Murdoc wasn't tired or sick of him or his body.

His eyes shone seeing the fruits coming. There were bananas, kiwis, grapes, and strawberries sliced. There was a small amount of ice cream next to it but thankfully, he could manage to keep them apart. It was a vanilla ice cream apparently, simple but looked delicious for his sweet tooth.

He stood up and leaned closer him nodding about the fruits. He felt so happy that for a moment he forgot his hard on. He carried the chair and sat down next to Murdoc.

He grabbed the fork, put a strawberry in it and offered Murdoc to eat "Say A......" he joked lifting the fork to his mouth with a large smile.

Murdoc watched the singer curiously, and then blushed profusely when he held the fruit up to his mouth. He looked from Stuart to the fruit and back at Stuart, a smile spreading across his face.

He opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out slightly. This was the most unexpected but sweetest thing anyone had ever done for him.  He felt a warmth blossom in his chest.

Stuart smiled even more widely when he actually accepted the fruit.... once he ate it he took a spoon of ice cream for himself. "You all teasing me and all I wanted to do was spoil you huh?" He joked a bit chuckling.

He gave him some more fruits interlaced with ice cream for himself. Some fruit were covered in ice cream other pure. He left some ice cream on the plate as well.

 He had an idea closely to finishing the meal. He smiled and placed a strawberry in his mouth between his lips and offered Murdoc with a smile. It was actually hard for him to do that cuz he didn't have I front teeth.

Stuart was actually managing to be a little sexier and less clumsy.... right?

Murdoc was in heaven the entire time 2D fed him. He watched the singer fondly, feeling nothing but love. When he placed the strawberry between his lips for Murdoc to grab he leaned forward, his hand moving to 2D's hair and gently running his fingers through it. He grabbed the strawberry, biting into it and kissing the singer passionately.

His other hand went to the singer’s thigh, squeezing it slightly. He was breathing hard and pushing himself into Stuart just a bit, getting excited. He pulled himself away before he couldn't stop and looked at him breathing hard. He put his forehead against his.

"Amazing......" he whispered breathlessly. His hair was still petting Stuart's hair.

Stuart was feeling shivers when Murdoc came to him. He was so happy his idea actually worked and he didn't look awkward or anything. He smiled giving him a quick peck on his lips. His face while being fed was amazing.

He and another idea. He couldn’t deny he was excited too. He grabbed a spoonful of the last ice cream he had and put it into his mouth. He leaned closer Murdoc and kissed him, an iced kiss vanilla flavored with all love and desire he had.

He cupped his face and shoved his cold tongue inside his mouth suppressing a small moan. Murdoc tasted like the fruits and something more He was infatuated with.

Stuart was happy none of them was drunk and they would remember all that clearly afterwards.... he broke the kiss slowly breathing hard with his heart racing "I.... I just hope now you like.... better sweets, Muds...." he said panting and blushing.  "I love you." He looked into his eyes and bit his lower lip. He wanted more. He couldn't wait to have Murdoc.

Murdoc was breathing hard and blushing with a smile, he was hard, and he wanted Stuart now. "That kiss was hot.... I think sweets are growing on me...." he whispered.

He kissed the singer’s forehead and stood up, adjusting his jeans a bit. He grabbed Stuart's hand after slamming down a bunch of cash onto the table. He knew it was way more than their bill, but he didn't care at all at the moment. He wanted, no, needed to get the hell back home before he jumped the singer here.

He guided the singer out of the restaurant quickly and started going back to the Geep. He actually contemplated, fucking him in the park since it was dark and empty, but he wanted to lick whip cream off the singer more than anything right now. The park would be another time...


	49. Travel

Stuart just followed him blushing hard after everything he did to him. He couldn't believe he was that bold.... what came to him? He looked out all the time holding his hands playing with his fingers to be less nervous. Murdoc really made him do stuff he didn't even think he was even capable of.

After a while driving he pulled his hand and placed it on his jeans showing him how he was turned on and smiled to him.

Murdoc’s eyes widened and a smile spread across his face. He smirked and palmed the singer’s jeans a bit. He bit his own lip, trying to contain himself as he let out a shaky breath.

"Fuck Stu...." he whispered, pulling into the driveway of Kong and screeching to a halt. He quickly got out and walked over to Stuart's side, pulling the door open and grabbing the singer from his seat and throwing him over his shoulder. He walked him to his Winnie and threw him on the bed.

"You.... get undressed. I will be right back." He demanded, walking back out of the Winnie and into Kong real quick. He went to the fridge and found chocolate sauce and whipped cream. He quickly walked back, excited.

Stuart helped when he was carried that way inside long.... he was really excited with all that, much more after the amazing day they had together. He wouldn’t mind if all their days were just like that.

As the obedient bird he was he got undressed quick eager for Murdoc. Whatever idea He had he would be pleased. He sat down on his bed and began touching himself thinking about Murdoc a bit. He was really desperate.

Murdoc made it back quickly, holding up the sauce and whip cream, smiling as he saw Start sitting there touching himself.

"Oh eager are we little bird?" He chuckled and put the sweets down and quickly undressed. Then he walked over slowly pushed the singer back onto the bed. He took the whip cream and put a little on Stuart's nipples then a bit down his stomach to his navel.

He leaned down, smiling and looking up at the singer. He gets close to his belly button and sticks his tongue out, slowly licking the cream off of him. One of his hands moves to lock hands with Stuart, while the other goes to the singer’s hip.

Stuart just nodded pouting. He couldn’t deny he was eager.

His eyes widened seeing Murdoc coming over him. He was eager too, he could tell. Stuart looked down locking gazes with Murdoc and bit his lip. That man on him was driving him crazy already. He giggled when he licked his navel, it was a funny sensation. "Muds...." he whispered and squeezed his hand, his hips going up a little, inviting him.

When he felt his tongue on him he shivered.... eye contact was one of his weakness. Murdoc knew that. He tried to be bolder and once he let go the cream he grabbed it and passed a little on his neck and collarbone...... He would pass where he wanted Murdoc to lick. He let out a playful smile and giggled. He was loving his idea, another first time. "I love your tongue, have I ever told you that?" he whispered running his fingers through his black hair.

Murdoc chuckled and continued to lick the cream away from the singer’s body. When he got close to his nipples, he nibbled and sucked on them while cleaning them off. He was partially lying on the singer as he did so, he could feel his hard on against his stomach.

He moved to the other nipple and did the same thing. He used his tongue to flick the nipples and looked up at the singer. He loved his little nipples. He lifted himself up slightly and licked his collarbone and neck where Stuart had put some already.

When the singer was clean, he got fully above him and leaned down, kissing him as sweet as he could, then moved to a more passionate kiss. He tasted so sweet to Murdoc, he could do that all day.

Stuart shivered and let out low moans calling his name while Murdoc worked with his abnormally long tongue. Every time he touched him with it he would squirm.

He returned the kiss eagerly. Murdoc tasted sweet and that was the best idea they had so far. He lifted his hips to touch him further and slowly managed to turn him around and soon he was straddling the bassist with a large smile on his face. Both erections were one against another and he moaned lowly when he noticed that....

he was quick to grab the other sweet that thankfully Murdoc let it close them.  He did the same Murdoc did to him. Making a trail from his neck to his chest, till his navel. But before he started licking he came to his face and cupped it kissing him passionately.

Soon he went to his jawline then cheek then his neck licking it and taking time cuz the sauce was much more difficult to fully remove than the cream, but it wasn’t a problem, Stuart liked to take time doing that. one of his hands went to his nipple squeezing it as well, his other hand he pressed the other side of his neck so he could bite and lick as much as he want, cuz it wasn’t something easy without front teeth.

Murdoc let out soft little moans and growls as the singer kissed his cheek and neck. When he started biting, he let out breathless little moans saying Stuarts name and encouraging him to continue. His hand was in the singer’s hair, massaging and petting.

He was so hard, he kept trying to rub his erection against Stuart. "Please...." he whispered. Stuart's tongue was so teasing and it felt so good. The kid gave him tiny little licks and they were so sweet. He loved how different his bites felt too, with his teeth missing. It was unique and it turned him on more. He could feel precum leaking from his cock. He swallowed.

Stuart noticed how he was needy. He wouldn’t let his boyfriend waiting. Soon he managed to go down all the way till his waist line, licking and cleaning everything like a good boy. he licked into his navel playfully but his aim was a bit lower his beer belly.

When he reached the middle on his legs he smirked looking at him. He took the sauce again. He dropped a small amount of it on Murdoc's cock and soon engulfed him. He could feel his precum dripping and with chocolate, it tasted heavenly. He started a sweet blow job focusing in making Murdoc nice and wet as he deserved for an amazing day. His hand went to grab the Satanists’ giving it a light squeeze.

Murdoc let out a low moan when he put his mouth over his cock. He arched his back and gripped the sheets with his free hand, gripping Stuart's with the other. His hips went up slightly into the singer’s mouth, but he tried to keep them down.

"That feels so good Stu...." he let out breathlessly. He bit his lip, watching the singer take him in. He looked amazing with those black eyes staring back at him. He felt his face redden. He brought a hand up and stroked the singer’s cheek fondly.

Stuart bobbed his head up and down hearing his words. he placed a hand on the one on his cheek caressing it.  He loved the way he was blushing cuz of him.

He let him go with a loud pop "Muds.... you said you wanted to make love to me......" he whispered still stroking his cock.... "What you want me to do love....?" he asked softly still holding his hand. He crawled over him silently straddling him again. "I'm all yours...." he whispered into his ear and looked into his eyes.

As the last time he dominated in sex he gave Murdoc the opportunity to do it now.

Murdoc smiled at his words and didn't even hesitate to spring into action. He grabbed Stuart’s hips and rolled them over so he was back on top. He looked into the singer’s eyes.

"I love you...." he whispered, their lips brushing together for a moment before he kissed him passionately once more. He tasted of chocolate, he pulled away and licked the singer’s lips sweetly.

His hand comes up and he cups his cheek, his thumb moving back and forth gently. He stared into the singer’s eyes. "You're so beautiful......" he said, moving his hand up to push away some the hair on his head to view his face completely. He was going to take his time and prove to the singer he was making love to him.... that he loved him.

Stuart let him do what he wanted. He felt his hairs shivering with his words and closed his eyes welcoming his kiss. His lips quivered when licked and he opened his eyes again.

Stuart bit he lip. the way Murdoc was full of desire in one hour and the next one he was caring and lovingly made his heart melt.... he had really learned how to go slow and caring.... that meant the world for him. "Thank you Muds......" he whispered and grabbed the hand that was taking his hair outta his face placing it on his chest. His heart was beating like crazy.

 "I love you too...." he rubbed his nose against his. He was painfully hard at this point but he didn’t care, he wanted to take time in making Murdoc feel loved. He needed much more than the singer. He blushed  and swallowed hoping he could feel his heart beating.

He took his hand going to kiss each of his fingers looking into his eyes "I love your hands...." he whispered.

Murdoc smiled sweetly, loving feeling how fast the singer’s heart was going. He was happy he wasn't alone. He grabbed Stuart's hand and brought it up to his own chest to feel it beating like crazy.

"Feel that? That's from you.... that is the love I feel for you...." he whispered and kissed his hand. He leaned down and kissed Stuart's neck gently. He nipped and bit at it, moving down to his collarbones. He nibbled on those and gave them sweet kisses.

Instead of moving directly down his chest, he got up a bit and moved down to Stuarts cock. Licked the tip before gently taking it into his mouth. He bobbed his head slowly up and down, his hands holding onto the singer’s thigh to keep him steady.

Stuart closed his eyes with a goofy smile feeling his heart race.... "All for me...." ne nodded feeling deeply in love. He moaned lowly again feeling his kisses and bites gripping the sheets under him.

Stuart yelped and placed a hand over his mouth when he felt his warm mouth around his length to suppress a loud moan. "Muds.... Mu’doc....mhhmm" he moaned caressing his hair and face sweetly. "I love you...." he whispered. "I love you so much...." his other hand found him on his thigh

Murdoc kept sucking Stuart off at a slower pace, really giving Stuarts's cock attention. He pulled away with a pop. Then he placed his arms underneath Stuarts thighs and lifted his hips up. He went down and licked the singer’s entrance gently. He got it nice and wet while sticking his tongue and trying to pleasure the singer. He gripped his thighs while he did this.

When he was done, he pulled away, flicking his tongue at the singer and winking. "You taste amazing...." he growled seductively... He set the singer’s hips back down and went to grab his lube. He put some on a finger and, after rubbing his finger around Stuart's entrance, he gently inserted it.

He went in with ease and moved his finger around, trying to find his prostate. While doing this he went back down to sucking Stuart's cock gently. All doing this while keeping his eyes on Stuart's.

Stuart moaned even louder now blushing hard feeling that exposed even being his boyfriend who already touched and kissed him all over.

He blushed even harder hearing his compliment. His hand went to his mouth and he bit it giggling nervously. When he felt that finger, his back arched instinctively. "Mu’doc.... " he moaned louder feeling him moving his finger inside him. He wiggled his hips a bit to help him as he was really eager. He held the sheets again for his dear life.

His breaths were totally unsteady now and he was panting "Please.... please...." he whispered even lower. And his legs trembled. He was really craving for Murdoc.

Murdoc smirked, "Eager aren't we my sweet Bluebird?" He smiled and stuck another finger in. "You feel so amazing Stuart. I love how enthusiastic you are...." he stuck another finger in, making sure the singer was completely stretched.

When he felt he was ready, he leaned over him and put his face right above to Stuart's, looking straight into his eyes. He watched his eyes as he slowly slid himself into Stuart. He grunted and let out a shaky moan.

When he was completely inside he stopped and looked at the singer again. He brought a hand up and stroked his cheek lovingly. "I love you so much Stuart. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.... you make my heart race every time I see you. Every time I wake up with you my heart begins to beat rapidly for you again. I love you Stuart Pot. And I would do anything for you. Anything." He whispered, stroking his cheek more.

Stuart just mumbled "It’s because it’s you Muds.... no one else ever made me feel like this.... ever in my whole life Mu’doc......" he said breathlessly.

He bit his lip hard once Murdoc entered him, closing his eyes shut with tiny tears forming on the corner of his void eyes. He spread his legs and allowed him to go as deep as he could.

Once he was fully inside him, he felt that hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes again hearing his words. He blinked twice and his tears fell. He was so mesmerized by those mismatched eyes he couldn’t put it in words. His mouth open and closed, thinking about what to say next. . He couldn’t even answer his sweet words.

"Mu’doc.... please stay with me.... I want..." he swallowed "I need you.... for the rest of my life Muds.... every day...... please......." a huge lump came in his throat and he swallowed "I want to sleep with you and wake up on your side...... please I can’t go on without you.... Mu’doc......" he whispered shaking his head to the sides with a unsteady and a little desperate voice. He was feeling overwhelmed with emotions now.

Murdoc put with hands on his cheeks and steadied the singer's head. "Bluebird...." he shushed him gently and lovingly, stroking his cheek. “I'll be with you forever...." he pulled put and pushed back into the singer gently. "I love you...." he said gently, thrusting in and out of him again just a little bit harder this time. He kept stroking his cheeks while he did this. He wiped his tears away gently and kissed his nose.

"I love you more than life itself." He thrusted into him again. Stuart's insides felt heavenly. Doing it slow like this while whispering sweet nothings to Stuart was the best feeling in the entire world. "You're mine.... only mine Bluebird." He kissed his forehead and thrusted out and back in once more.

Stuart moaned loudly when he began moving, his mind going blank for a moment. he felt shivers down and up his spine and his tears kept falling.... he didn’t know why but he couldn’t hold it back.... he whispered his name and wrapped his legs around Murdoc wanting desperately that he went deeper.

His arms wrapped Murdoc rubbing his back "Only yours Mu’doc.... only...... yours." he trembled again whispering. Each thrust his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Murdoc was doing so slowly like he never did in his whole life. He cupped his face again and kissed him, as slow as his thrusts.... now he felt loved and cared.... the happiest man on earth. "I love you so much.... so much......" he broke the kiss and let his head fall against the bed again.

Murdoc chuckled and savored every thrust. He continued to wipe away the singer’s tears and kissed his face and his as often as he could. He started thrusting just a little faster.

"I love you so much Stuart." He said between pants. "You're the love of my life." He moaned out. He loved the close contact between them, his heart was beating wild and his breathing heavy. He wanted nothing more than to show the singer sweet gentle kisses and love as they made love. He'd never been this close with anyone before and he'd never taken sex this slow.

"Only you, Bluebird." He whispered and kissed him again. "Stay with me.... forever." He whispered again as he felt himself getting closer. He nibbled the singer’s bottom lip playfully, moaning into his mouth.

Stuart let out soft and low moans.... his words made him each time closer the edge.... "Please Muds...." he said in a whisper when the thrusts became more intense. "Please I wanna cum for you...." he said not really thinking and moaning a bit louder as he felt his orgasm coming.

He returned the kisses eagerly feeling his whole body spasming with Murdoc. "forever...." he whispered a couple of times interlaced with "i love you" his name and "only yours..." in one moment Stuart held his face with one hand and made him look at him. "Fuck.... you're so beautiful when you make me yours my love......" he whispered and went to kiss him.

Murdoc smiled and kissed the singer back passionately. He thrust into him a little harder as he felt his orgasm about to hit him. He felt every part of Stuart, every shiver of his body, every breath the singer took, every time he held onto him. Murdoc felt it all. He loved it, he loved Stuart.

He gave him several hard thrusts as he came. Moaning into the singer’s mouth as he did so. He thrust he whispered, "love you" into his mouth, gripping him tightly. His orgasm hit him with an intensity he'd never felt before, he shook as it rolled over his body.

"You're mine." He growled as it started to slow, but he kept thrusting. He didn't ever want to leave Stuart. He wanted to be in him, be with him, be a part of him forever. He was the love of his life and he wanted to be one with him.

Stuart felt his orgasm coming the moment he whispered "Love you" with his husky voice and griped him tightly. He moaned brokenly and hold him back while he cum in a strong and pleasurable way. He loved all that closeness.... it was as good as BDSM, maybe much more. He was sure that moment Murdoc wouldn’t be no one else's in his life.

Stuart managed after some moments to turn to the side and hold Murdoc closely, hiding his face on his chest, and pulling him outta him. He squeezed his body and took a deep breath. He wrapped his legs around him too pulling him close. He closed his eyes shut and his whole body shivered.

Murdoc smiled and chuckled as Stuart essentially wrapped himself around him like wings wrapping around his entire body. He felt loved and safe. He snuggled into the singer’s body and closed his own eyes. He felt the singer shiver and he wrapped his arms around him as well, squeezing him gently.

"Fuck I love you...." he whispered into his chest. He felt high, like he'd just taken a ton of drugs and it was the best high he ever had. He kissed his head and snuggled into his hair. "I can't wait anymore.... I don't think there's any way I can wait a whole month...." He whispered bringing his arm up and petting his hair.

Stuart heard his words and didn’t understand.... "Wait a whole month....? What for, Muds.... are we going in a tour again....?" he asked lifting his head and his black orbs stared Murdoc full of curiosity closing his eyes feeling his hand on his head. He was naive and didn’t get what he was saying.

Murdoc looked down at the singer and turned so he was on his back with the singer lying on top of him, pulling him up slightly so their faces were closer. He put his hands on either side of his face. He considered if he should do this or not, but.... he wanted to. He needed to.

He pulled him close and kissed him and smiled wide. "I hope you don't hate me for not waiting.... I don't have everything I need but I don't want to wait." He took a deep breath.

"Stuart.... you mean the world to me. You are always there for me, you give me a hope I've never felt before.... you fill my heart with a love so large, you don't even know how much it means to me. I've never cared about anyone Stuart. I hardly cared about myself.... I grew up not knowing what it meant. I didn't want to know what caring about someone felt like. I always thought it was pointless. Now I know the feeling. I do know what it's like to care and to love. Now I can’t imagine a world without you.... the one person I've ever loved like this.... I want to spoil you.... I want to love you. I want to give you all you never had. I want to be the one to let you be comfortable being yourself.... because I love you. I want to discover the world with you...." he swallowed, he was nervous and shaking slightly. He felt like he was sort of rambling and hoped Stuart was keeping up. He looked him in the eyes, unwavering.

"M-marry me......? Marry me Stuart?" He whispered nervously. "I'm sorry I don't have the rings yet.... they won’t be ready for a month...." he added.

Stuart straddled on the Satanist and grew nervous when Murdoc started speaking. His eyes only widened when he heard his words and new fresh tears came to his eyes. He bit his lip and hid his face with both hands.

When he heard the last words his face turned into a grimace and he sobbed loudly. He was crying like a baby at this time. He threw himself on Murdoc and started crying heavily...... he sobbed and cried his heart out that moment. He nodded frantically lots of times and wrapped his arms around him.

"I-I never thought .... In my life.... someone would love... me.... this much Muds...." he confessed trembling "Of course I marry you...... don’t worry about rings or...... or anything love.... My soul is already attached to yours...." he sobbed again and kept crying. Hugging him. He cried loudly ‘till all the pain of the years of abuse got outta him. ‘till all bad memories about Murdoc left him. ‘till all the yells and hits he got left him. All memories came all at once and he let to get them out. It was an ugly breakdown.

He fell to the side and hid his already red and puffy face. "Muds.... you bought me rings......?" he asked between sobs. "Thank you love that's r-really sweet...." he curled himself placing his head against his chest looking for his hand to hold to try to calm himself down. his eyes stung and his head hurt a lot after crying that much.

He thanked Buddha or who knows Satan...... for having  such a lovely fallen angel to call his.

Murdoc was surprised by the sudden sobbing mess of the man he loved in front of him. It was almost a little frightening at first. He wasn't sure if he had done something wrong suddenly. But Stuart started talking and saying such sweet things. When he heard that, he nodded and smiled, hugging him close and just petting his hair and letting him cry it out.

He started to get a little teary eyed as well listening to him let it out. He turned his head and kissed Stuart's head and rubbed his back gently. When the singer fell to the side and asked about the rings he turned and pet his cheek and side of his hair.

"I ordered them today.... the ones I had described before...... but there's something special on them that I didn't tell you and I hope you'll like it when they come." He smiled and chuckled. Then he sniffled a bit, rubbing the tears away from his eyes. He sat there looking at Stuart for the longest time.

Finally he whispered, "You're so beautiful...."

Stuart held him close trying to calm himself down. He let out some occasional sobs and whines after a while.... he wiped his eyes and managed to look at him with a large smile "No no.... you are.... A beautiful blackbird all mine" he chuckled still crying a bit. "I'll marry you......" he laughed nuzzling his face on his chest like the happy child he was. "I know I'll love them Muds.... thank you.... thank you so much......" he whispered.

He lifted his head to look at him "So.... you’re my fiancée now...?" he bit his lower lip with a smile from ear to ear. "God I'm so happy...." his voice was hoarse and broken from crying but he didn’t care. he placed a hand on his face caressing it "Muds...." he called him passionately like he always did staring into his eyes.

Murdoc smiled and blushed a bit at him calling him a fiancé, petting his hair. "I...... I guess I am. As are you mine love...... are you okay now? You kinda of worried me. I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction." He laughed softly.

"You make me so happy Stuart...." he stared at him in a comfortable silence for a while. "I suppose.... we'll have to tell people, yeah?" He chuckled nervously. He was so giddy and happy from the adrenaline of the moment. He was even shaking a bit still. A shaky hand pet his hair comfortingly.

Stuart nodded "I was just thinking Muds.... about all we've been through...... all these years and I broke...... y’know? So many bad stuff happened between us.... they came all at once, I dunno why.... I never thought even in my wildest dreams you saying something like that to me......" he chuckled "It’s much better than my fantasies, love...." he whispered with his hands trembling too. Murdoc asked him totally sober. How good was that? "I'm actually happy you couldn’t wait...."

"we can tell whenever you want, if you want to wait the rings to come.... that's okay for me...." he knew how it was gonna be difficult for him. "I bet your brothers will be thrilled with that ..." he pecked his lips smiling. "Love you my soon to be husband...." he yelped looking at the ceiling and closing his eyes sighing.... "I must be in a dream...... I don’t wanna wake up anymore Muds...." he said honestly.

Murdoc laughed, loving how excited his singer was. He couldn't believe that word. "Husband...." he whispered out, rubbing the singer’s back once more. He was nervous at the thought of telling people, especially before the rings. He didn't want to worry about anyone else at the moment. He just wanted Stuart all to himself.

He looked at Stuart and pushed the blue hair out of his face. "We should go.... on a vacation...." he swallowed, hoping the singer would agree... "Jamaica." He blurted out. He knew how his mind worked. He didn't want to deal with the pressure of telling everyone, he wanted to avoid it. He wanted to avoid the questions and the judgment. He'd just dealt with it all by telling everyone him and Stuart were dating and by seeing his birth mother. He needed time with just Stuart. He gave him a small squeeze, hoping he'd agree.

"Its not like they need us here. Our parts are pretty much over. They can just add us where needed when we get back yeah?" He said, kissing his forehead.

"Yeah love, husband.... unless you wanna be the wife...." he laughed blushing.

Stuart heard his idea. "Jamaica?" He repeated "Sounds amazing Muds.... I love traveling with you...." he told him happily "Normally people travel after the marriage in honeymoon but.... we're not much like everyone else huh?" He joked turning to the side to face him. His head resting against his hand.

"It's your band love, if you say it it's said." He poked his nose. "Anywhere with you I’m happy." He thought a second "How long you wanna spend travelling with me, love?" If they could they would travel tomorrow if it depended on the singer.

Murdoc felt relief from the singer agreeing. He pulled him in for another hug. "Husband is fine. If anyone's a wife, it's you." He chuckled and kissed his head. It was a foreign word to him. One he'd need to get used to, just like the word love.

"Let’s leave as soon as possible. We can be there for a week or two.... I don't think it would mess much up. I love the idea of spending time with just you." He brought Stuart's face up to look in his eyes.

"I want to make love to you under the stars.... on the beach, the sounds of the ocean and gulls being the only things we hear till I make you moan out my name in that sweet voice of yours." He laughed and winked. "What do you say?"

Stuart placed a hand on his chest looking insulted "How dare you....I don't even know how to cook" he chuckled.

He stopped joking and looked at him. Sometimes Murdoc said the most romantic things in the world. He whispered not even blinking to look at him. "I want that.... please.... “ he placed a hand on his cheek  "I'd  never say no if you want to make love to me Muds...... I love you so much...." he chuckled "I want to go around the whole world with you..."

Murdoc leaned into his touch, closing his eyes and smiling. "Good Bluebird. I'll get us some tickets tomorrow, yeah? Then, hopefully, we can head out the next day or something. I think it will be fun. We can get some sun and get away from this wet, rainy place." He chuckled. He kissed his forehead and leaned back, looking at the ceiling.

The gravity of what just happened to him hit him hard. He grinned wide and started laughing excitedly. "We're gonna get married Stu. We are going to get MARRIED!" He shouted out loud laughing. He pulled the sing close to him and squeezed him into a hug.

"I didn't believe, in a thousand years, that I would ever say that." He said excitedly. "How did I get so lucky?!"

Stuart nodded excitedly "Oh god we are gonna do this so...... fast! Sun, sea, sand.... my Mu’doc......" He was excited for traveling with Murdoc and not family anymore.

When he shouted the singer yelped but joined him in his happiness. "We are Mu’doc!" He agreed laughing "and I bet id be cute in a long white dress" he teased.... "Maybe with a gorgeous white lingerie under...." he teased.

"I didn't believe either Muds...." he sighed "I can’t wait to tell you 'I do" love...." he confessed. Hugging him back.

Murdoc laughed and kissed his nose. "You getting some more sun should be interesting. I want to see you in your swim trunks." He chuckled and held him close. That reminded him, he may have to buy swim trunks himself.

He looked Stuart in the eyes and started singing Stairway to Heaven to him. He didn't care if he sounded like shit, it was an intimate moment and he wanted to Stuart deserved the world at the moment. Murdoc couldn't give him that exactly but he was going to make the kid happy any ways he could think of.

"Oh my God I can’t remember the last time i wore them...." he said chuckling. He was really excited to travel.

Stuart started laughing when he started singing. He could tell he sounded like shit but he didn’t care. He was happy. Soon even tired cuz of the sex, he stood up and grabbed his hand and wrapped an arm around his waist. He didn’t know how to dance, even more naked but he would try for Murdoc.

He started to sing even louder than Murdoc, with an unnecessary accent and in a ridiculous tone. He just wanted to make him laugh. Some new tears pricked his eyes but he didn’t care. He returned the dancing Murdoc did in his bedroom with the happiness of a child.

Once the song was over he stopped swaying and pressed his forehead against the Satanist's wrapping his both arms around him and keeping him close "we're getting married Mu’doc...." he whispered and laughed "You'll be mine forever...." he bit his lower lip and closed his eyes.

Murdoc laughed when Stuart got up to dance and sing, pulling him up with him. Even if the kid was singing in a ridiculous manner, he still sounded amazing to Murdoc. He kept chuckling and dancing along with him, his heart just swelling with love.

They pressed foreheads together and he looked at the singer lovingly. "You're right...." he reached up and wiped some of the tears threatening to spill over onto the singer’s cheeks. He always thought his eyes sparkled most beautifully when he was crying. The reflection from the tears made his eyes sparkle more in any light. He caressed his face, rubbing his cheek with his thumb.

"I'll be yours forever Bluebird. And you'll be mine...." he smiled and looked into his eyes. "You're so good to me Stuart...." he whispered and gave him a sweet kiss. "I hope I can be the same for you, love." He swayed a bit with him, even with no music. It was so easy to do with him, to just get lost in the moment.

Stuart chuckled again nodding to him. Now he was really figuring out what was about to happen. He leaned closer him and hugged him, resting his forehead on his shoulder and sighing. "You’re the best, Muds...."

After some minutes only hugging each other Stuart decided to come back to bed and took Murdoc with him by his hand. he laid down and placed his head resting on his chest.

"Love.... can you imagine my family and yours coming to the party?" he asked softly "I mean, my mother meeting yours and.... I dunno...." he was just dreaming awake. "my parents never thought I would get married one day I bet.... I think your mother would be happy......" he thought about Hannibal too but, that wasn’t the case now. They could tell the twins when they went to their wedding. Maybe getting some ideas.... Stuart felt a warm sensation inside him thinking about this stuff. He run his fingers through his hair.

Murdoc laughed, "No. Actually, I can't imagine everyone together for a party. Or I can but it'll be.... odd. Your father will be glaring at me the entire time while your mother is sobbing from how happy she is. Abigail and the boys will be happy, or if they will even show up at all.... it depends how upset her husband is about this whole hidden child 20 plus years. Then don't even get me started on Hannibal. If he even shows up...." he didn't have much hope with his brother.

He looked at Stuart, "Do you have grandparents or any extended family you would want to invite?" He hated the idea of being surrounded by all these people that could possibly hate him but he also wanted Stuart to be happy. He'd do whatever it took then.

Stuart thought for a second "Well love, I think my mother's parents are still alive.... but my father's I never met...." he stuck his tongue pressing the lack of his teeth adorably. He usually did that to think. "But I think I have some aunts and uncles, maybe nephews, cousins...." he looked at him "I'll invite whole family, who wants to come comes...." he shrugged. "Who doesn’t want to come clearly is not happy for me or doesn’t care about me... So why bother? I just want there people who are happy for us Muds...."

"You think Abigail has another relatives Muds....? That you might wanna know?" he asked softly kissing his temple.

Murdoc laughed bitterly, "I doubt it. Her own parents made her give me up, I don't think I'm quite ready to deal with that as well.... you know?" He chewed on his bottom lip a bit. He snuggled into Stuart.

"Besides, it doesn't matter. The only that matters is you and me. If it ends up bring just you and me, and probably Russel and Noodle, then fine by me. I don't need anyone else...." if he was being honest that would be so much easier for him. The thought of confessing his love before a whole bunch of friends and family seemed intense and a little scary really. He was most worried about screwing it up and making the singer cry somehow.

Stuart didn't think about that detail. He was just too happy to bother now. "Oh I'm sorry...." he bit his lip too. He was thinking about other people besides Abigail's parents but that's okay.

"And well you're right.... I'm just thinking too much.... our family is just Russ and Noods I guess...." he agreed with him holding him close the other people were either Stuart's or Murdoc's family only.... well not if they get married.... they would turn all into one family only Pot-Niccals. That made the singer shiver for a moment.

 "I thought for a second that you might want to marry in Jamaica when you mentioned it...." he chuckled "marrying in a beach doesn't sound bad does it?" He winked to him "Why Jamaica Muds....? I think we've never been there before...." he asked curiously.

Murdoc chuckled at the singer. "You are an eager one. I thought for sure, with how excited you are about inviting family, that you'd want to wait and plan some glorious thing." He honestly didn't know if he was ready for something that soon. He was thinking in a couple months or later. They were moving so fast and Murdoc was afraid he'd panic if it went too fast.

"I just wanted to spend some time with you.... you know? Just you and me.... these last couple weeks have been about everything and everyone else. While marrying you on a beach does sound like a romantic thing I'd do." He winked and smiled.

"Jamaica just sort of popped into my head, you know? It sounds like a good place to vacation right? Get away from everything. Get far away from all the people and just have you and me, yeah?" He brushed his fingers along the singer’s cheek gently. That's all he wanted, just him. He didn't really give a damn about any of these other things they were doing. A wedding, talking to family, all that was mostly all for Stuart, because that's what his singer wanted. He would do anything to make him happy. He leaned closer to the singer and kissed him sweetly.

"Glorious? If I had a glorious brain maybe.... but I have a broken one.... I'll need your help love...." he chuckled "let's take it slow.... as we are already going really fast innit?" It wasn't a problem for him at all but maybe Murdoc would be nervous. He already wanted to tell everybody he was proposed by Murdoc Niccals.... but he would hold his tongue till the right moment. They still need to give explanations about the MTV kiss...

Stuart smiled widely when he agreed with his beach idea. He loved beaches. "I'm.... really happy you want that much to have me only for you Muds.... I mean really glad" he blushed hard "I would never think you'd have the patience to be with me only so long.... I mean.... I'm annoying and I talk too much...." he chuckled nervously. He never thought Murdoc would bear him for long as he was really childish and irritating sometimes.

He kissed him back eagerly "only us Muds.... the way you want. I bet it's gonna be an amazing trip." He laughed. "Specially the making love parts...." he bit his lip nuzzling his face on his chest. "Oh Mu’doc thank you so much for hitting me with your car and picking me up to your band...." he said almost yelling and hugging him

Murdoc laughed loudly about his comment regarding hitting him. "Well it was the best damn thing to ever happen to me...." he hugged him back and rubbed his back. He looked at the singer and smirked, "I'm going to shag you so much in Jamaica, you'll be lucky to be able to anywhere." He booped his nose and flicked his tongue out. It would be a great time, and possibly a good time to write music.

"We should write the next album together yeah? I'm sure Noods and Russ wouldn't mind right? I really want to write with you again Bluebird, like we used to. " he kissed his head. They had done surprisingly well writing everything together, and he missed that. A lot actually. He was proud of Noodle and all she'd done for this album though. It was quite impressive, really

Stuart smiled hide. He wouldn't mind being shagged a lot.

"We should, boss.... or you wanna still leave your band to our 15 year old daughter to take care of huh?" He teased. "Let's give her some deserved holidays... I'd love to work with you again...."he said kissing all his face.

Murdoc smiled wide and pulled the singer close, nuzzling his face into his neck. "I love you Stu. I don't know what I would do without you...." he whispered. He held him like that for a while, rubbing his back until he started to drift off to sleep.

He slept hard, not even remembering any of his dreams. He felt like he slept for days. He woke slowly with a groan. "Christ...."

Stuart slept well too, like a baby. He woke up a bit dizzy next morning and with a pounding headache. He heard Murdoc groaning "Morning love, something wrong?" he whispered to him pulling him close. "Oh fuck my head......" he groaned in pain.

Murdoc looked at Stuart. "You okay? Need your pills?" He asked, slowly sitting up with Stuart in his lap. He rubbed his back. He took a mental note that he needed to get an extra set of pills for Stuart to make sure he had enough for a trip.

Stuart just nodded weakly "My pills and a lap......please...." he whispered placing both hands on his head. He felt like everything happened the night before was a dream from so much pain he was feeling. "I'm sorry I forgot to take them yesterday.... and I cried a lot......" he curled himself.

Murdoc nodded and kissed his head gently. He set Stuart to the side on the bed and got up to grab his pills. He grabbed them out of the bathroom and grabbed some water to drink as well. He brought a few pills to Stuart and gave him the water.

"Here love." He whispered. Before sitting down he remembered to put on a pair of underwear then sat down next to Stuart and pulled him back into his lap. He had Stuart rest his head on his shoulder while he pet his hair gently.

Stuart took his pills and grabbed Murdoc for his dear life. He kissed his neck and thanked him for all his care. "Muds...." he managed to say after a while "Did you really proposed me or I dreamed that....? Sorry love my head is killing me...." he began playing with his cross to unfocus in his head.

Murdoc smiled and played with a lock of hair. "Oh, you don’t remember how I had 30 white doves fly across the night sky with a banner that asked you to marry me? Then we ate by a candle light dinner then made sweet love by the moonlight?" He asked in a completely serious tone to mess with Stuart. He pretended to act offended.

"I'm hurt Stuart. Very hurt." He said, trying not to crack a smile.

Stuart's eyes widened hearing that.... "The part of the dinner that we ate duck, me feeding you fruits, and the sweet love I remember.... but doves?" He frowned and focused in remembering "Damn I can't remember...." he pouted sounding angry "Should have been beautiful.... but I remember you proposed me here after the sweet making love.... I said yes after a collapse...." he whispered "I'm sorry Muds...." he kept playing with his cross curling himself.

Murdoc rubbed their noses together and chuckled. "I'm joking, Bluebird. Everything you said was what happened. Everything i said was a lie. But I did propose." He tilted the singer’s chin upwards and kissed him sweetly.

"You bawled like a baby." He smiled and nuzzled his face into the singer’s neck, kissing and nibbling. His hand came around to his thigh and rubbed it gently, his other rubbing his back.

Stuart blushed hard ashamed and giggled. "Smartass...." he whispered and let out a low moan when he nibbled his neck. "S-so are we really gonna get married.... and you want to travel with me....?" He whispered asking him suppressing moans.

Murdoc nipped a little harder then replied, "Of course I do, to both. Just you and me Stu, that's all I want. No family, no band, no fans, just you and me. I'm going to make you mine each night and we'll remember it fondly whenever we look back on it, yeah?" He chuckled came uo to nibble on his ear, his hand moving closer to his groin.

"Then, when we get back, I'll be able to give you your ring and it'll look beautiful on that thing finger of yours." He whispered into his ear.

Stuart nodded frantically to all his statements and pulled him close. "Yes please...." he whispered and shivered pulling him closer. "I can't wait for this to happen...." he bit his lip. "Anything as long as it is with you......" he looked at him pleadingly with his black orbs. "You promise?" He lifted his hand with his pinky up "pinky promise Muds...." he smiled fondly.

Murdoc chuckled and brought his hand up from his thigh to wrap his pinky with his while still nibbling and kissing his neck, moving down to his collarbone now. "Promise." He whispered.

His hand went back to run down his smooth inner thigh towards his groin. He growled playfully against his neck. He was feeling playful. "Satan, you're so beautiful." He purred. "My fiancée is beautiful."

Stuart shivered hearing that word.... "Muds...." he moaned lowly now even forgetting his headache. He smiled tilting his head to the side allowing him to go further. He shifted a bit and was even closer Murdoc now. His hands went to his hair running his fingers through it. "Your fiancée...." he whispered back.

"Mine...." Murdoc growled a little more aggressively. He suddenly shifted the singer so his back was against Murdoc’s chest and his ass against his erection. He regretted putting on underwear now. He nibbled the back of his neck and sucked on it then kissed down his shoulder and back up. His hands were on Stuart's hips, holding him down a bit

Stuart shivered again. However, this game they both could play. He wiggled his ass against his erection. And grabbed his hand by the wrist placing it on his own erection. As he was naked it was actually easy to see how he was. "Good morning love...." he whispered full of desire.

Murdoc moaned as he shook his ass, placing his forehead on the back of Stuart’s shoulders. He felt Stuart's cock and smirked. He brought his hand up to his mouth and spit on it. Then he brought his now wet hand down to Stuart's cock and started jerking him off while kissing his neck and growling again.

Stuart moaned a bit louder feeling what Murdoc wanted to do. He pratically sat down on his erection squirming. His hands went to Murdoc’s thighs squeezing them slightly "Muds.... Please.... " he whispered and his head fall back next to Murdoc's head sighing from pleasure.

Murdoc smiled and flipped them around so Stuart was on his hands and knees. "Stay." He commanded. He quickly grabbed the lube and threw his own underwear off, his erection springing forward. He out some on his fingers and stuck two fingers, scissoring and stretching him out while also nibbling and kissing his cheeks.

Stuart moaned again and lowered his upper part. He rested his still hurting head against the mattress and gripped the sheets under him making his ass be really up. "Please Muds......" he asked again a bit more needy now. "I know you want this as much as I do...." he joked

Murdoc gave a choked laugh, "Do I come off as not wanting this ass?" He gave his ass a slap with his other hand and squeezed it while his other and fingered him a little more before adding the third finger, stretching him out quicker.

Stuart started laughing but soon stopped when the third finger came. He moaned loudly and arched his back instinctively. After a moment, he relaxed again his face flushing red. He spread his legs inviting him

Murdoc chuckled and pulled his fingers out. He then added a little lube to his cock and got behind Stuart on the bed. He watched himself line up right by Stuart's entrance. He spread his cheeks with his hands and watched himself slowly enter the singer to the base. He let out a shaky moan as he did so.

Stuart gripped the sheets tightly letting out a broken cry. He never thought he would wake up this way in life. He felt jus legs turn into jelly "Mu'...doc...." he moaned lowly getting used to this sensation "I love you......" he whispered.

Murdoc smirked and leaned down so he was flat against Stuart's back, hid hands on Stuart's hips. He put his mouth next to Stuart's ear. "I love you.... You're my fiancée...." he growled, biting his ear for a moment. Then he pulled out a bit and growled, "Mine." Had he slammed into Stuart.

"Mu’doc!" He yelled when he slammed his prostate that hard. His hands bailed into fists and he gasped. "Please make me yours love...... Please" he begged and moved his hips a little totally given to Murdoc. "Your fiancée... Your singer.... Yours...." he moaned. "Only yours..."

Murdoc lost it with him begging. He sat up straight for better leverage, holding onto the singer’s skinny hips. He started slamming into him hard and fast. He grunted with each thrust, feeling in pure bliss each time he rammed into the singer. "You're mine Stu." He said with a grunt. "Fuck you're tight." He growled out, throwing his head back.

Stuart blushed hard hearing that. His body contacted involuntarily to his slams. He started moaning louder "Oh god.... right there Mu’doc.... Oh fuck...." he cursed a bit more when he accelerate the pace. He hid his face a bit when his moans became too loud.

Murdoc saw the singer hide his face. He reached down and grabbed a handful of hair pulling his head up slightly. "No, you don't get to hide those pretty little moans of yours love." He said continuing to slam into him. He was close and he loved hearing the singer’s moans.

Stuart cried with his hair being pulled. He obeyed and didn't hide anymore yelling and moaning his name like a whore each time Murdoc entered him. He felt he was close too after some moments "Please.... I wanna -fuck- cum Muds.... Please don't stop...." he begged

He reached around and started jerking the singer off as he got closer. "When I cum, I want you to cum. I want you to take it all my little cum slut." He purred, running his other hand to slap and squeeze Stuart's ass. He slammed into him hard a few more times and felt himself on edge. "Cum, Stuart!" He moaned out as he thrusted into him a final time and released himself inside him, still jerking him off.

When he started jerking him off that was it. He couldn't hold back anymore. He came as soon as Murdoc called him a slut and slapped him, it was so good...... he came moaning his name with a broken voice and shaking violently. He couldn’t hold back with Murdoc teasing him that way. "Oh fuck Mu’doc...." he whispered while waves of pleasure hit him post orgasm.

Murdoc was breathing hard, shaking from the orgasm and gripping Stuart's hips hard. "Oh fuck...." he said shakily trying to keep himself upright. He saw and felt the singer shaking and panting from the orgasm. He smiled and ran a hand up his back gently petting him. "Good boy...." he said before pulling out of him and collapsing next to him. He looked at Stuart's exhausted face.

Stuart shivered when he was called a good boy.... he felt proud of himself. The singer managed to turn around and face Murdoc letting out small gasps trying to catch his breath. "God Muds...... you're the best" he said laughing. "Are our days be this way in Jamaica? cuz I'm up for that...." he teased.

Murdoc smiled and gently stroked his cheek. "Oh, you know they will be. I told you, you wouldn't be able to walk." He chuckled and winked. Then he pulled Stuart closer for a kiss. "I love you...." he whispered, running his hand down his cheek and shoulder, resting it on his hip.

Stuart chuckled "Well when I'm not able to walk any more we always have you...." he purred and kissed him back "I love you too......" he whispered "what are we gonna do today my fiancée....?" He asked curiously.

Murdoc sighed happily. "Well.... we have to get ready for our trip.... which means I gotta go book some things.... while I do that.... you can tell out band mates what’s going on, yeah?" He smiled, hopeful Stu would agree. He wasn't sure he could take telling them the news this time incase Russel wanted to hit him.

"Oh I can.... but what you want me to tell Muds? The truth or you just want to tell them were traveling....?" He asked hesitantly. He didn't know if Murdoc was okay with the whole marriage thing or wanted just an excuse. He knew maybe Noodle would be fine but Russel would be mad for sure.

Murdoc thought about it. "You...... tell them what feel right at the time...." he said hesitantly. He wasn't sure what to do with them. Of course, they'd find out eventually but.... he wasn't entirely sure how they'd react. He rubbed his hand up and down Stuart's bare hip, just thinking. Touching Stuart soothed him.

Stuart nodded thinking about what to tell them. He bit his lip... he wasn't sure of what to say. "Right...." he whispered. He started overthinking.... and if it went bad? If they mock him? If they were really going too fast....?

A part of the singer wanted to tell them the truth but he decided against it. He knew they were his family but.... maybe when the rings come and after the trip, he would tell them. He looked at Murdoc. Maybe when he felt like telling them together. "Y-you want me to tell them right away, Muds....?" He whispered nervously.

Murdoc bit his lip, noticing the singer’s hesitance. He brought his arm up and rubbed his shoulder gently. "Not if you don't want to love, really. You can tell them whatever you please love. Tell them we're going to the moon if you want. They just.... like you a little more." He chuckled nervously. "They won't trust me if I told them we were going somewhere for a while, you know?" He brought his hand to stroke the singer’s cheek again.

Stuart's face fell... "yeah they'll probably think you'll hold me captive or something...." he chuckled nervously. "I can do it...." he said sadly with his head bowed and went to look for his clothes "but at least we can tell Cortez right? I mean if we train him he could bring the rings for us in the ceremony...." he chuckled and tried to lift mood a bit, he still had to show him the gifts he bought for him.

Murdoc sat up, nodding slowly. He watched Stuart noticing his mood. "Are you okay?" He whispered, grabbing the singer gently by the wrist and pulling him over as Murdoc sat on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arms around the singer's waist, looking up at him . "Please don't be upset love......" he whispered sweetly.

"I'm not upset Muds...." he lied. "It's just.... nothing is easy for us right?" He chuckled. "I just want to be happy with you.... y'know.... and I know they're family but...." he sighed "Russ is gonna want to punch you.... maybe Noodle will understand...." he looked at him sadly "I'll just tell them we're traveling.... once we're back I tell them what's gonna happen.... Okay? When we have the rings.... " He smiled "I just wanted that they liked you more.... or my choices.... "

Murdoc put his face forward and started nipping at his stomach then giving it kissed. "Don't lie to me, I know when you're upset." He teased, looking back up at him. "I love you Stuart. That's all that matter right? They'll come around, just give them time." He kissed his stomach again going around his navel and to his hips. He bit his hipbones gently.

"Right.... thanks for hearing me Muds.... I love you too...." he whispered back  lovingly sand shiver with his touches. "I'll clean myself...." he warned him going to the bathroom. He needed a time alone.

However, before he just stood up "How are you feeling about all that love....? I think I didn't ask you this...." he placed a hand on his shoulder "is all what you've dreamed of?"

Murdoc chuckled, "Stu, I never dreamed of this kind of thing ever happening to me. It's all new and I'm really just winging it. No planning for me Stu. But I have enjoyed it all so far." He stood up and hugged him.

"I love you Stuart and before a few days ago, marriage never really crossed my mind. Ever. But I don't think it's a bad thing my love." He pulled away and swept the hair from his face. "I've enjoy every minute of being with you, I'll go to hell and back for you. And so far I'm enjoying being engaged." He winked and smiled.

"Engaged...." Stuart repeated. He never imagined he would be engaged one day.... with Murdoc Niccals of all people. He smiled goofy and let out a soft giggle. "Now you’re really stuck with me for life huh?" he hugged him back. Fondly.

I'll just take a quick shower and I'll tell them.... if you need anything for the trip please let me know...." he broke the hug and went slowly to the bathroom. "Oh, one last thing." he turned around "I love you Murdoc Pot..." he teased and entered the bathroom with a wink.

Murdoc snorted, "Well, I think we'll be stuck with each other regardless, so might as well be married right?" He teased. Even before any interest in the singer, he still thought they'd be together forever because he needed his singer.

He watched him walk to the bathroom and laughed loud when he called him Murdoc Pot. "Oh I don't think so! I'm not gonna be a Tusspot, you're going to be a Niccals!" He yelled back. "Stuart Niccals, you little smartass, better get used to it!" He called back as he got dressed and went out to have a smoke, a smile on his face.

"Oh so I see Niccals isn’t a cursed name anymore so far huh?" he said after going outta the Winnie cleaned and dressed. He took a quick shower thinking about all that happened so far. he thought about what he could tell the others and imagined their trip to Jamaica. He shivered remembering how intense his orgasm was earlier.... he wanted it to happen every day they were there.

"Stuart Niccals.... I can get used to that...." he laughed leaning closer him. Cortez soon appeared and cawed loudly as he had missed both man.... Stuart leaned closer him and scratched his neck "bet he will miss us when we're out huh Muds....?" he told the older male.

Murdoc smiled and wrapped his arm around the singer, pulling him close. He got close to his ear, "Mr. Stuart Niccals.... would you want me to whisper that into your ear as I bend you over like the little slut you are?" he purred into his ear, teasing him. "I'd like that...." Cortez cawed loudly behind them, ruining the moment. Murdoc jumped and shooed the bird away.

"Bloody bird. He'll be fine." Murdoc stuck his finger in his ear and looked to make sure there was no blood from a ruptured eardrum. He glared at the bird. Cortez only cawed in amusement.

Stuart chuckled lowly "You can call me anything you please while you fuck me...... Daddy...." he whispered back teasingly wrapping his own arms around his shoulders back and licking his earlobe.

When he heard Cortez he flinched "Oh little buddy think you want to know the news don’t you....?" he said softly to him "Me and your owner are getting married...." he said excited as a child in a park "And you're invited to the wedding huh?" he winked to him happy to tell the first "person" the news.

Murdoc got an instant hard on from Stuart calling him that. He had to stand there and breathe for a moment to let it go down before trying to talk. He cleared his throat.

Cortez cawed several times. Murdoc knew that bird didn't understand a single thing Stuart just said but at least he acted happy. That'd make Stuart happy. Murdoc wrapped his arm around Stuart again.

"Yeah, and keep it up and we'll be serving you at the wedding dinner, you damn chicken." He teased. His ear was still ringing.

Stuart noticed how he liked that nickname. He could tease him back successfully. He smirked to that.

He nudged Murdoc's rib playfully "Don’t talk to him like that Mu’doc, he's the first person we talked to and he's happy for us...." he frowned joking and pointing to the bird, which was cawing and jumping around them, soon he broke the hug.

"I'll bring the stuff i bought him here and talk to the others okay? You may book and do whatever you need for our travel.... " He smiled and winked to him. He leaned closer again "I'd love to stay here and fuck with you again, Daddy.... but let's save it for Jamaica huh?" he grabbed his collar roughly and stole a passionate kiss from him.

Murdoc moaned slightly into the singer’s kiss. He was turned on by that simple word and he loved it when Stuart used it. When they pulled away from the kiss, he felt a bit dazed. He gave the singer a goofy grin.

"Y-yeah.... I'll, uh.... go book.... stuff...... thing.... yeah?" He barely got out, while smiling. His blood had rushed to another part of his body, it was harder for him to think. He looked up at Stuart. "I love you......" he said in almost a whisper. The singer really did hold his heart.

He turned to slowly make his way to the Geep to go book some airplane tickets, hotels and all the good stuff. He felt a little better by the time he got to the car.

Stuart laughed internally when he noticed Murdoc stuttering that much cuz of him. He bit his lip thinking how he would feel when he used that word properly in sex. He would be a good boy for him.

He followed Murdoc to the Geep where stuff was and grabbed everything. The packages from the clothing store and the stuff he bought Cortez. He kissed Murdoc one last time and whispered "I love you" to him going inside.

He walked to the Winnie and took some time there, putting Murdoc's clothes in the right place and others to wash. He looked through the shirts and jeans and found everything beautiful.... He had really a good taste in clothing Stuart couldn't deny. He thought about them lying on the floor on Jamaica and smiled. He would definitely wear them afterwards.

Then he went to Cortez. He gave the bird a good amount of bird food and he seemed happy eating it. He offered him the toys and he looked even happier. He was sad they couldn't take it to Jamaica.

In the end, he decided to go inside looking for Noodle and Russel to talk to them after putting clothes to wash. His heart was racing and he felt a lump on his throat. He was really nervous to tell them.

Murdoc watched Stuart grab everything and head back inside. He smiled wide, excited for the trip. He knew they'd have a blast. It'd be nice to have Stuart all to himself.

He got in the Geep and made his way towards town to go to a travel agency. He thought that'd be the best place to go to book everything. He wanted it to be perfect with zero hassle if possible.

While doing that, Noodle and Russel were in the living room watching tv and Noodle was strumming her guitar while leaning up against Russel. Russel looked as if he was going to fall asleep.

Stuart reached there greeting everyone. "Hiya people.... " he said with a smile "Are you busy.... ? I have to talk to you...." He said hesitantly sitting on the couch. "Another announcement I guess...." He chuckled nervously.

Russel and Noodle looked at each other then back up at 2D. "What's up D?" Russel asked hesitantly.  He was always nervous with an announcement from the two boneheads. However, 2D seemed happy so that was a good sign at least. Noodle smiled, sat up and put the guitar down to show she was listening. She looked up at 2D waiting.

Stuart swallowed hard. He could see the looked of them to his hickeys and purple marks. "We're going to travel.... to Jamaica.... for a couple of days. Murdoc's idea and.... He asked me to talk to you two. We are gonna leave our parts in Dare's video recorded and we'll be here back to the interview and El Mañana shooting." He just hoped the didn't ask why this sudden travel right now. He fidgeted with his fingers.

"And by the way, Murdoc bought you a new guitar Noods.... it's a pure white one. For you Russ the bought new drumsticks.... they should arrive here in some weeks...." He explained softly.

Russel and Noodle listened to what he had to say and grinned at each other when he mentioned Murdoc got them something.

Russel lifted an eyebrow curiously, "So.... why are you guys trying to butter us up with time by ourselves and gifts? What'd you two do?" He snorted, joking. Noodle giggled and nodded. She was excited for a new guitar, and it was a pleasant surprise to get it from Murdoc.

Russel noticed the hickeys on Stuart's neck, the bites looked rough and a little painful. "Everything okay D?" He said more seriously while he pointed to the hickeys. He wasn't as worried about Murdoc taking advantage of the kid, but he still had to ask.

Stuart blushed a bit "I'm okay really.... Murdoc gets a bit bitey if you know what I mean...." He rubbed the back of his head. "He has similar ones and .... He went out to book stuff to our trip......"

He looked at them.... "Guys what I'm gonna tell is serious and.... I don't want you mocking me or Murdoc and Russel not threatening him." He told him seriously.

He looked down nervously. "Murdoc proposed me......... And...... I said yes....... And...... I'm engaged....... or we're......" He bit his lip "I was scared of telling you......... And would wait till the rings came....... yeah he ordered a pair of wedding bands......... And that's the reason why we're traveling...... He wants to spend some time with only me............" his voice was just a whisper now. He wouldn't be able to wait and see they were suspicious about them leaving.

Both Russel and Noodle's mouths fell open to the floor. They looked at each other and then at Stuart. No one said a word. They were completely speechless. Neither of them expected the two to move so fast and for 2D to agree?

"Marriage......? With Murdoc....?" Russel repeated slowly. He looked at Noodle then back at Stuart. "Are you sure man? He made your life a living hell before....  what if he starts doing it again?" Noodle remained silent the entire time, mouth still hanging agape as Russel talked.

Stuart looked down "there's only one way to know Russ...." He sighed "And if I said no now when would I be able to say yes huh?" He joked but it was true.... when he would be proposed again by Murdoc?

"It's a risk I'm willing to take.... And if it doesn’t work.... well.my fault...." He didn't want to hear "I told you so". Even believing Murdoc changed and him showing everyday he did it there was still the possibility of not working.

"I know we're going fast and all that...." He looked up. He just wanted his family happy for him but all he could see was surprised and concerned faces...

Noodle and Russel looked at each other once more. It's like they had telepathy, they could tell what the other was thinking. Noodle gave Russ a quick nod and Russel sighed then smiled at 2D.

"Hey D. Congratulations man. We're happy for you." He said while Noodle nodded with a wide smile.

"Very happy!" She said with a big grin.

"Look D, we don't mean to rain on your parade. It was just a big shock, it's Murdoc you know?" He stood up and laughed going over to 2D with Noodle, both giving him a big bear hug.

Stuart smiled receiving those hugs. He felt relieved they weren't mad or sad for him. "If it was a shock for you, imagine for me...." He whispered back. Really Murdoc proposing him was really unexpected to say the least.

"Thank you guys...... for being so understanding..." He smiled and wiped his eyes quickly. "He just didn't want to come and tell you that cuz.... He was scared of your reaction.... but it's all true I swear...." He bit his lip scared they would think Murdoc made him go there and say all that.

Russel laughed, "Yeah, that's probably smart. That idiot opens his mouth and says the dumbest shit sometimes. But if you're happy, we're happy D. Just don't...... Let him go back to his old ways yeah? He's actually been pretty decent lately. I think you've done some good for him." He ruffled 2D's hair. Whatever the kid was doing with Murdoc, it was working.

Noodle nodded enthusiastically. She thought the same thing. Murdoc was drinking less and much less belligerent. It was turning out to be a much easier album than the last one. Noodle was quite happy.

Stuarr nodded. It was a difficult request. Actually, he coming back to his old ways wasn't something Stuart could prevent from happening. But he would try. As long as Murdoc wanted to treat him well.

He smiled "he's doing something good for me too Russ...." He whispered back sounding honest Murdoc was really making him happy so far.

"Thanks for the support guys.... we'll see you in some days...." He said softly. He hoped Murdoc talked to them too soon.

Russel nodded and looked at Noodle, "Another night of pizza and movies? He asked her, to which she nodded and smiled wide. She jumped up and down a bit, excited.

Russel turned back to 2D, "Alright man, we'll see you guys later. Have fun." He said, turning back to the couch with Noodle.

Meanwhile, Murdoc was on his way back with plane tickets and a whole packet of information regarding their rental house on the beach he got and places to go. He drove up and parked, sprinting to his Winnie to try to find Stuart. He had to tell him they were leaving tonight.

Stuart smiled and nodded. He went to the Winnie to wait for his fiancée. He was smiling from ear to ear.

He entered it and wrapped himself in his Cape smiling wide laying on the bed. He didn't know when they would leave but he thought that was soon. He was totally trusting Murdoc for this trip to be the best of their lives.

Murdoc slammed the door open happily, looking around for the kid. He found him wrapped up in his cape. Murdoc stopped and smiled, looking down at the singer.

"Well.... Don't you just look adorable?" He chuckled and laid down next to him, facing him. "So.... guess what. We're leaving tonight. Are you excited?" He smiled wide, excited for their trip. All he thought about the entire time was getting Stuart to himself for a while.

"Holy fuck!" He exclaimed happily "Really Muds? This must be a dream!" He laughed and covered him in kisses.

"I told them the truth, and they were totally supportive with our engagement...." He said with a smile. "So I think we need to get ready for the trip" he said jumping from the bed with his Cape looking like a superhero. The purple of the cape contrasted with his blue hair and it looked awesome together with his black eyes.

Murdoc chuckled and watched the singer. "Ah, my little blue superhero. I'm glad you're so excited." He got up and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Now get ready or I'm gonna fuck you in that cape." He whispered, smirking.

He then looked around the room for that backpack he used when he came back from Mexico. He found it and started grabbing whatever he could grab. He looked at Stuart.

"You know.... I don't have a bathing suit...." he chuckled. "You think they'll have some down there? I mean, I could go full nude but...." he flit his tongue out playfully.

Stuart frowned "we just need to buy one for you Muds.... No naked...." he leaned closer him "only I can see your knob...." he said in a low tone.

"I need to grab my things in my room.... your new clothes are in your closet babe.... don't forget to bring your toys if you wanna play with me..." he smirked and winked to him.

Murdoc laughed and threw his hands up in defeat, "Of course love. Sorry!" He thought it was cute how he was possessive. He nodded and made a note to buy one. "Only yours love. Better give it attention though." He laughed and winked.

Murdoc blushed a bit. "How uh.... how we getting those on the plane? Who's bag?" He smiled wickedly. What if they look in the bag? At the airport?" He thought it'd be wild and fun if that happened but Stu would probably die of embarrassment.

Stuart shrugged "Put in mine.... I don’t care. I look much less suspicious than you...." he laughed "Or you can don’t bring anything...." he leaned closer him with the cape cornering him against the table "I know my fiancée has lots of ideas of what to do to fuck me even without toys huh? He's a sex god what can I say...." he teased and  kissed his neck.

"Fuck Murdoc, we're gonna have a blast...." he whispered holding him with the cape "thank you so much...."

Murdoc's eyes widened and he gulped as Stuart cornered him. He shivered when the singer kissed his neck. "Y-yeah......" he choked out, a little unable to speak due to the blood rushing elsewhere.

He smiled and cleared his throat, "Yeah, I think we're have a lot of fun.... fiancée." He laughed. He liked using that with him. "We'll skip the dildos and such,  but I'll bring the cuffs and ball gag and lube, yeah? Not quite as embarrassing." He put his forehead against his, then pecked his lips. "Also make sure you bring your pills, okay? I also picked up some extra bottles for you while I was out. They're in the car."

"OH that's true... many people don't even know what is a gag...." He laughed and shrugged. Not so long he didn't know what was that too. "The blindfold too huh?" He winked to him "maybe your candles.... all those things no one can recognize as sexual in the airport...." Stuart was really interested in sex at this point seeing how Murdoc was sensitive to him.

"Oh really Muds?" He beamed "thank you for taking so much care of me...." he said hugging him and kissing all over his face. "That's one of the reasons I'm marrying you...." he let him go.

"Well we need sunblock swim trunks, sunglasses.... flip flops.... what else honey?" He asked looking around "Oh, bring your new clothes.... I wanna wear them too...." he winked to him playfully.  He walked around with his Cape happily.

Murdoc nodded, "Good point! I'm really surprised you want those.... but I love it." He chuckled. He made a note to grab those items. He was getting excited at the idea.

Murdoc smiled and hugged him back. "Well, you know, I've been taking care of you since we met. Now I'm just a little nicer about it." He chuckled nervously.

When he started naming off everything and mentioned taking his clothes. "Why do you want to wear my clothes suddenly? Not that I mind, of course." He laughed and admired him in the cape. "That looks really good on you......" he whispered.

Stuart looked at him "I.... Don't have any black shirt.... you bought and.... I think it would be nice.... I mean.... you told me my hair.... and I liked that sweater " he looked down.... "I'm sorry" He said blushing hard.

"And besides I like the smell you leave them... Especially after sex." he chuckled "but if you don't want I can stop...." he mumbled covering himself with his Cape.... "I can't help if you have a good taste for clothing, Muds...." and if he let’s him steal his clothes. Murdoc would never steal the singer's clothes.

Murdoc got close to the singer and caressed his cheek. "Easy, I was just curious." He leaned up and kissed the singer deeply. "I'll wear anything you want, do whatever you want, and you can wear it right after. I'd do anything for you."

He pet his hair a little and smiled, "I'll be sure to pack all those clothes. Make sure you pack all of yours yeah? Everything you want. I'll.... try to find my flip flops and all that." He chuckled. He gave the singer one more smile and turned back around to continue packing.

Stuart shivered with that kiss. He smiled and bit his lip happily "anything we don't have we can buy love...." he was really happy Murdoc was up to do anything for him.

"You know how many hours is the flight Muds?" He was a bit impatient but oh well " I'll pack my things in my room... you want anything from the inside, fiancée?" He smiled.

Murdoc gulped when he talked about the flight. He wasn't the biggest fan of riding in planes, made him extremely nervous and anxious. He wasn't sure how he was going to make it through the entire flight.

"We leave at 6 from London, so we should probably head out soon to get to the airport, maybe eat before hand. Then we head to Montego Bay. It's a...... almost a 24 hour flight......" he smiled nervously. He knew he could do it if he drank, maybe a few small bottles of something?

Stuart's shoulders sunk. "Oh.... long, innit. .?" He said sadly. "Okay.... I'll think about something we can do till we reach there.... maybe a game or something...." he sighed. He didn't want all this hours in a plane... they could go somewhere near and as good as Jamaica.

"And I know you don't like flights.... so .... if you need something for that let me know..." he said defeated. Murdoc in a 24 hour flight drunk. That was gonna be shit. But maybe he had something he could give Murdoc to sleep or sorta. He would pass out on pills. He wasn’t patient himself. He was about to leave to pack his stuff. 

Murdoc nodded slowly. "But you should see Montego Bay. The guy that helped me book the flights and the place showed me a bunch of photos and.... Wow...." he smiled. "It's so sunny and beautiful. Better than this rainy wasteland. The water is blue.... just like your hair." He smiled even wider thinking about it.

"I'll uh.... I’ll be fine. I'll just bring a couple mini bottles of vodka with me, just enough to settle the nerves, you know? I promise I won't go nuts, yeah? Maybe, uh.... we could join that mile high club I hear everyone going on about." He chuckled and winked at the singer.

Stuart smiled "that's okay Muds.... I bet it’s awesome.... I meet you in some minutes and we can call the Uber...." he kissed his cheek and left.

He entered fast into Kong and went straight to his bedroom. He took a quick shower a bit sad about so much time in a plane and Murdoc nervous. He packed all the things that mattered and his pills that Murdoc mentioned he should bring.

He was ready in about half an hour totally clean and with a smile on his face.  "I'm ready when you are...." he said in a soft tone.

Murdoc had a shower before finishing packing, safely securing all the sex toys they were bringing into his bag. He smiled while packing, thinking of the wonderful time they'd have together. It'd be worth the nearly 24 hours on a plane. Stuart didn't even realize just how beautiful it was going to be.... he smiled even wider, excited to see his expression. He knew he couldn't be too drunk for that.

When Stuart came to him, ready to go he was wearing his giant smile. "Oh yeah! Let’s go love." He slung the large backpack over his shoulder and grabbed the singer’s hand, giving it a slight squeeze.

He walked with him to the Geep so they could drop all their stuff off before going to say goodbye to the other two. He kept hold on Stuart's hand the entire time as they walked in. They found the two still sitting and watching a movie marathon. Noodle had set her guitar down at some point.

"Hey guys...." he said. "We're off." He was a little nervous seeing them after the reveal. They both turned towards them. Noodle smiled and waved while Russ nodded.

"See you guys. Have fun." Russel said, turning back to the TV. Noodle nodded and looked back as well. They were both too engrossed by the TV to really care.

Stuart placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly and smiled. He had already talked to them before.

He began walking in front of the Satanist to the jeep and caressed Cortez one last time as a goodbye. He would miss the bird.

He sat down on the passenger’s seat and waited Murdoc to come around with a smile.

 

Murdoc got into the Geep and started it, he gripped the wheel for a moment before looking at Stuart. "We're gonna have fun, I promise." He said, giving the singer a smile. He was worried the singer didn't want to go anymore. He just wanted to reassure him.

He started driving them to London. It was a short hour drive. He put on a simple classic rock radio. He thought of all the things they'd do there. They were going to be there for an entirely full week, 7 days.

When they got to the airport, they were an hour early before they needed to check in, two hours before the plane left. He looked at Stuart. "Wanna go get something to eat in there? I think it'd be good for us too eat before the flight, you know?" He smiled and put a hand on the singer’s thin thigh and squeezed gently.

Stuart nodded to him when he said they were gonna have fun and squeezed his knee. he kept with his hand on his knee all the way there. It was a silent and calm travel.

"Oh I'd love to Muds.... you can pick the place...." he said with a warm smile and squeezed the hand on his thigh. He leaned closer and kissed him cupping his face with one hand. "I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too, Bluebird." He smiled and kissed him back. "Come on. We'll go to the small bar and grille inside." He grabbed his bags as Stuart grabbed his.

He was beginning to get a bit nervous as they entered the airport. It was crowded and he could see and hear the planes coming in and taking off. He swallowed and continued walking to the restaurant with Stuart, his head down.

When they got there, they found a table and they set their bags and stuff down. He kept taking quick glances at the bar. He wanted a drink so bad. He sat there shaking a bit and fidgeting.

Stuart noticed his fiancée nervousness. "Muds what's the matter ....?" he asked in a low tone with his eyes full of concern. Of course, he knew Murdoc wanted to drink. He had the right to tell him he didn’t want that? He was nervous too. He never got a travel that long before in life he could tell.

"Please talk to me." he whispered and held his hands over the table. He noticed his shaking hands and his smile faded. He rubbed his hands thinking if the travel was really a good idea. He knew Murdoc didn’t like crowds and planes. He looked into his eyes.

Murdoc jumped at Stuart talking, and felt the singer grab his hands. He looked back into the singer’s eyes and smiled. He squeezed his hands and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm okay love. Just nervous is all." He chuckled nervously. "To be honest, I just.... want this to go really well. I know it'll be all worth it when we get there. Believe me."

A waiter came up just then, "Hey guys, what can I get you two to start?" The guy poured them some iced water and smiled. Murdoc looked at the menu real quick next to him. He hadn't expected thr waiter that quickly, but it was an airport, they were probably used to being quick.

"I'll just.... uh... take your chicken penne. Stu?" He looked at him. He thought pasta might be best if he was gonna drink. It'd help him from getting too drunk.

Stuart took a quick glance on the menu when it came. He decided to join the Satanist with his choice of pasta. Maybe something heavy would help him sleep. "Spaghetti.... please and water...." he said with a shy smile still worried about Murdoc and how long the trip would be.

Once he left, he grabbed his hand again looking at them. "I know it would be worth Muds.... I'm just nervous too, I'm sorry." he said quietly. Play with his hands always kept him calm. His hands or his cross. He would be better when they arrived there he could tell.

Murdoc chuckled and played with the singer’s hands as well. He brought them up and gave them a kiss. "Well as long as we have each other right? You're lucky you're so damn cute Stu." He winked.

"Christ, 24 hours on a plane. Good thing we really like each other, otherwise we might drive one another nuts." He laughed. He did get on a plane before when they had to go to the US. That was about an 8 hour flight. He'd gotten severely drunk and didn't remember half the flight though.

"This is gonna be like a prove I guess...." he chuckled lowly "If we can survive that, we can go through anything...." he tried to sound optimistic like always. "How are you gonna make it through all that love....?" he laughed "I brought cards.... a notebook...." he bit his lip "we'll have to find a way to kill time...."

He knew that even sleeping they couldn’t sleep twenty four hours straight. And he wasn’t thinking about sex now he was so nervous. "And I guess it was all you wanted right? Time only with me...." he looked at him.

Murdoc nodded with a smile, "Of course. I will enjoy my time with you. It's the other sorry sods we'll be surrounded by. But we'll find something to do. They have movies and such, we can do that.... or actually, maybe we can start thinking about the new album, yeah?" He said excitedly.

"Oh Stuart, I can't wait till we get there. Seriously, you're gonna love it. I got us out own little private place by the beach, no one around for miles." He winked and flicked his tongue out playfully. He wanted to try to cheer the kid up, if possible. He seemed just as nervous as Murdoc.

Stuart smiled a bit more "Really? Sounds amazing Muds...." he whispered thinking about it "think we'll have a good time there.... just me and my fiancée......" he looked at their hands. He never spent so much time with his one person. He thought Murdoc would book somewhere near the city or something.... it made him shiver him only with Murdoc. Russel's words kept appearing in his mind "don’t let him go to his old ways." he was a bit nervous about that too, but wouldn’t show Murdoc.

"New album sounds good... but I don’t have any idea for now.... so much time working for Noods made me a bit rusty...." he chuckled being nervous "I can sing for you at the beach if you'd like me to...." he blushed a bit. They would have plenty of time to do other things about they're relationship and shag a lot.

Murdoc snorted, his dirty mind taking over again, "Oh you'll be doing quite a bit of singing love. Kidding. Well, not really, but I would love it if you sang to me, songbird." He massaged his long fingers.

"How the hell did you get so talented? When did you learn you were good at singing?" He asked, still looking at his fingers. He learned he couldn't sing fairly early. That's when he'd tried to sing his own songs he'd written. He was impressed by the singer’s talent sometimes, actually, all the time really.

Stuart sighed. "Church, love." he blushed "My mother used to make me sing in the church choir.... she said my singing voice was so better than the speaking one... And other people agreed.... I.... never believed her since I didn’t really like my voice at that time when i was reaching puberty but......" he shrugged. "People told me I should sing but... I never heard them...." he didn’t know why he heard Murdoc though.

"after that stupid milkshake i asked you the night of the accident, you asked me to sing for you and play the keyboards  right? there i could see I was still able to sing well.... something different from religious songs.... "he chuckled "I think I sung something from Human League right?"

Murdoc chuckled, remembering that night. "Yeah I remember being in the hospital with you that night I'd taken you to the hospital to clean your face up and make sure you were alright. Your mom mentioned something about being able to hear your singing again. Thought she was just being.... motherly, you know? Then you were able to go home after they patched you up and you wanted to go with me for some reason...." he smiled thinking about how he had thought the kid lost his marbles.

"Yeah you sung 'Don't you want me'." He playfully gagged. "I hate that soft pop crap, but you sang it so nicely. I knew then I'd have to have you. In addition, you played the keyboard and guitar. What a catch, yeah?" He winked at the singer and took a sip of water.

Stuart laughed. He remembered he wanted to go with Murdoc even his mother telling him to go home with her. Were he familiar with Murdoc already? Did he already thought he was someone good? He couldn’t remember now. However, it was the best choice. Maybe if he had just followed his mother home Murdoc would have never listened him singing or playing.

 "Jesus it was the first thing you heart me singing right? How could you hire me after that....?" he said jokingly. He looked around, many people, but he wanted to be ridiculous and keep Murdoc smiling. "You could have run some idiot not talented but you had to hit Stuart pot...." he said proudly of himself.

He started singing for him changing the lyrics a bit to fit into they're story. Curiously this song told much about them the singer could tell. He stuttered in the beginning but he remembered the lyrics from the heart.

 

_"I was working as a attendant in a instrument's shop_

_When I met you_

_You picked me out, you ran me over and turned me around_

_Turned me into someone new_

_Now eight years later on I've got the world at my feet_

_Success has been so easy for you_

_But I don't forget it's you who put me where I am now_

_And you can put me back down too"_

 

He didn’t know that he could actually do it while singing. He hoped Murdoc would follow him in the chorus. He squeezed his hand like the adorable dolt he was trying not to laugh too loud

Murdoc burst out laughing and listened to the singer change the lyrics, once more showing him how talented he could be. He absolutely hated the song, but he knew it well, since it'd been the first song he'd sang for him. He decided to play along with his singer.

"Don't, don't you want me? You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me. Don't, don't you want me? You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me." He sand with him, not caring if people were staring. It didn't matter when he was with Stuart. It was just the two of them and that was it.

He reached across the table and caressed his cheek. "That is why I brought you into my band. You sound like an angel, you know? And I could have hit some untalented idiot but I did hit you.... lucky me." He chucked and winked. He was feeling a little less nervous.

Just then the food arrived. Everything looked really good, and really filling. So he knew he'd have that and if he still needed to drink he'd be fine.

Stuart loved his laugh. All he wanted to hear now.... he made him laugh when he was nervous about traveling, he thought he could do anything now.

He purred into his touch like a puppy.... he wasn’t that stupid, he could make Murdoc smile. He looked at his food ever more hungry now. "It looks delicious honey, you never pick bad places don’t you?" he said starting to eat. As it was with much sauce soon Stuart was dirty with it and still smiling. Pasta was another thing it was difficult to eat without front teeth, he couldn’t cut it.

Murdoc watched him eat, snorting at how dirty Stuart got from the sauce. He was like a child, trying to gnaw on pasta without front teeth was apparently difficult.

"You've got sauce all over your face." He laughed, gesturing to his entire face. "That's why you need smaller pastas, like this." He held up a penne Noodle with some melted cheese and held it over to Stuart's mouth to try some.

"I'm usually not too big on pastas since they're so filling and I usually wanna nap after having some, but, well, this is the perfect time isn't it?" He chuckled, wiping some of the sauce from Stuart's face with his thumb and licking it off his finger.

Stuart was happy to try his pasta. Maybe he was a bit dumb and asked the wrong type. but he could live with that. "Yours is very good, love...."

"I agree.... I'm not a fan of sleeping in planes but I'll have to.... we need to reach there rested right....? Maybe sleeping with you makes me feel better...." he smiled feeling his thumb against his face. he put it into his mouth and licked a bit. "Thanks for the help, Muds...." he said adorably.

Murdoc smiled slightly. "Yeah, we should definitely make sure we're rested, gonna be busy humping like rabbits." He snorted. He wasn't holding back at this point, he was ready to be there and have the time of their lives.

He decided to help Stuart out and grabbed a knife and cut his spaghetti Noodles smaller for him. He then stole a few and took a bite. Then he'd give Stuart some of his every now and then. He finished a little earlier than Stuart and excused himself for a moment to go to the bar. He was going to buy a bunch of mini bottles but said fuck it and bought a small bottle. He needed it to last the 24 hours. It was a smaller bottle, one he could drink sips from every now and then. He didn't want to get black out drunk.

Stuart watched him coming back with that bottle and his blood ran cold. He swallowed hard thinking about him drinking all the way there. But he didn’t express it. He just smiled and stood up grabbing his stuff and smiling. He was totally uncomfortable with Murdoc drinking but he trusted him he wouldn’t do anything silly. "May I sit by the window Muds?" he asked innocently trying to avoid bad thoughts.

Murdoc tucked the bottle into his jacket. And grabbed his bag. "Of course, but only if I get a kiss." He smirked as he walked with Stuart towards security and they got in line. He held Stuarts hand, smiling and trying to hide his nervousness.

When they got to the front where they had to put their bags, coats and shoes into the scanner and walk through. Murdoc also made sure to take off his cross. He walked through, nervous they'd try to confiscate his alcohol if they found it. He started to work his charm on the female security guard.

"Well hello love, you know I always enjoy a woman in uniform, yeah? Especially one with cuffs." He told her, smiling wide and doing his usual nasally laugh. The lady laughed and told him to keep going. She didn't notice the alcohol in the jacket, so he felt victorious as he put his stuff back on and waited for Stuart to go through the metal detector.

Stuart followed him rolling his eyes to his charm. Fortunately he didn't have anything from metal. So he just walked through uncomfortable and in silence. He was just hoping his toys wouldn't be found. Murdoc had cuffs in his bag too.

He was being charm to keep his alcohol he knew that.... two things he didn't like. But okay he should be going

But then he turned to the woman of before and grabbed Murdoc in a passionate kiss making sure she saw it. He hated his charming self and just narrowed his eyes to him and to her walking to the right gate with his bag.

Murdoc was surprised by the sudden kiss, having had his heads in the clouds over his victory. He saw his narrow eyes and raised an eyebrow. He watched the kid walk towards their gate and, after a moment, quickly walked after him to catch up...

"Hey, Stu, you okay? What was that look for? We got through security yeah? Without them seeing any of our stuff! We should celebrate, and I know exactly the way to do it." He took his vodka bottle out partially and took a quick swig before shoving back into his jacket. He was extremely nervous now, but this should definitely help.

Stuart just smiled. "Yeah Muds... I'm okay. they didn't find anything....  let's go to the gate okay...?" He said in his normal tone. And looked at the bottle "I don't think I want to celebrate." He forced a smile. "It's gonna be a long trip." He sighed while walking.

Finally they reached the gate and he sat down with his stuff looking in the panel when the flight was gonna be.

Murdoc flopped down next to him, only slightly noticing Stuart's mood. He was too nervous to really notice. He looked up at the same panel.

"It looks like we leave in 20 minutes. So in 10 they should start boarding." He said, pursing his lips. He wasn't looking forward to boarding with all the other people. He didn't even realize he was taking another quick swig from his alcohol.

He turned to Stuart and grabbed his hand, giving it a small squeeze. His leg was bouncing nervously and he looked around at all the people around. He actually didn't mind the crowds it was just.... being enclosed with them on the bloody flying death trap. He shivered nervously.

Stuart noticed him nervous and didn't want to bother him talking a lot and unnecessarily. Murdoc wasn't silly. He made the reservation and paid the tickets. No one threatened him to do that. Now he had to face the consequences. And it was a long trip.... the singer just hoped it was worth the wait.

He just held his hand back and swallowed his nervousness. He gave him a small smile but the smell of alcohol totally disgusted him. He placed his hand on his lap still holding it protectively. "In 10 minutes we go." He said in a low tone and kissed his hand to soothe the shivering.

Murdoc smiled at him and focused on his breathing, which was starting to get slightly quicker from the nervousness. He focused on the touch of Stuart's hands and his sweet kiss. Stuart always made him feel better.

After 10 minutes they heard the boarding calls. He stood up with Stuart and took a deep breath. He held onto his hand as they boarded. They were in the middle of the plain and they had the window and middle seat. Murdoc, of course, gave Stuart the window and he sat in the middle, with an empty seat next to him waiting to be filled. This was a fairly large plane, so there were also an island of seats in the middle of the plane, then the other side.

As they sat down after putting their bags up, he looked at Stuart. "You know, I never got that kiss for giving you the window seat." He chuckled, trying to distract himself. He was nervous to see who sat next to him on the other side.

Stuart smiled to him once he sat. He looked at Murdoc and kissed his lips cupping his face passionately. He hated the taste of vodka he had but okay. He wouldn't complain. He sweetly smiled to him "thank you for letting me stay in the window my fiancée...." he said softly and held his hand again "If you're nervous.... just hold me okay...." he whispered to him trying to sound comforting. "I'm right here."

He liked to try to be protective for Murdoc. As he had always been protective for him. He was curious about the other person too. They would share 24 with him or her.

Murdoc felt better after Stuart's kiss. He held him tightly. He took another quick swig of his vodka and then laid his head on Stuart's shoulder as people were filing in. He didn't focus on any of them, he didn't care.

Suddenly he could tell someone sat next to him and he looked over. It was a young lady with a baby, looked like a one year old.

"Great......" he mumbled and buried his face into Stuart's shoulder. Now he got to deal with that as well. He could feel himself getting a slight buzz, which helped his nerves a bit.

He heard the baby cooing and turned his head just to barely look at the baby. It was drooling and smiling at him. The lady smiled at the baby and then smiled at Murdoc and Stuart.

"Hi...." she said softly. "I'll try to keep him quiet...... he's a good baby. His name's Vance. He seems to like you." She chuckled softly, looking at Murdoc with a sweet smile.

Stuart was about to wrap his arms around Murdoc when he saw the baby. He would smile to him but he thought he would scare him with his uncommon appearance. Stuart smiled to.Murdoc and squeezed his hand. "Yeah he liked you Muds...." he reassured him with a sweet smile. "Say hi to Vance...." maybe the baby could be a good distraction for Murdoc nervousness now.

He smiled to the lady trying to be polite.

Murdoc growled low, so only Stuart could hear him. He wasn't a fan of children at all, Noodle was lucky he could stand her at all. Course, she wasn't like other children and she could kick his ass.

He sighed and turned to the baby, sitting up slightly, away from Stuart's shoulder. He looked at the baby who was smiling a big toothless grin at him as Murdoc bit his lip. The baby made grabby hands at him.

"Oh, he really likes you. He's usually not comfortable around men. With his dad never around, he's usually stuck with just me...." she said a little sadly, which Murdoc picked up on. He looked from her to the baby. He lifted up a hand and sort of waved and gave a small smiled.

"Uh.... hello Vance." He said. The baby stared at him a moment then gave a shriek of happiness, smiling wide. Murdoc flinched back, wondering if the kid broke or something.

The lady laughed, "Oh my! Vance is a happy baby." She giggled and smiled at Murdoc and Stu. "I'm Vanessa by the way. Nice to meet you." She was struggling to hold the baby as it leaned towards Murdoc.

Stuart even offering him to talk to the child he knew Murdoc wasn’t the most childly person. However, Vance was really adorable and they needed to keep things cool for a long trip. really long one. The mother didn’t seem to notice how he smelled like vodka and Murdoc seemed less nervous with him.

Stuart looked at his interaction with the baby curiously. Or he was a good baby or he really liked Murdoc. Either of the options were good. He giggled and looked at Vance a little more confident now. And the woman seemed nice and not flirtatious. she will notice they were a couple.... and didn’t seem to recognize them as Gorillaz'

He turned to Murdoc resting his head on his shoulder and smiling to the baby "hello Vance.... I'm Stuart, He's Murdoc, my fiancée...." he said softly "See I don’t have teeth just like you...." he showed his gap hoping the baby wouldn’t cry and offered him his long fingers so he could play with them. he smiled to Murdoc. he thought Vance would play with his cross like the singer did.

"Nice to meet you, Vanessa...." he tried to sound polite "your baby is really adorable and seemed to like Muds." he would ask about the baby's father but it was far too personal for a stranger to ask. He grabbed Murdoc's hand after he flinched seeing the baby smiling and kissed his cheek. Anything to keep him distracted from drinking would be nice.

Vanessa smiled and talked to the baby again in a sweet baby voice, "Hear that Vance? They're getting married. And Stuart doesn't have any front teeth." She cooed as the baby bounced on her knee and gave a couple happy squeals and gnawing on his own hand and drooling everywhere. Vanessa giggled and continued, "Yeah! No teeth, just like you!" She booped his nose and the baby babbled.

Murdoc felt Stuart grab his hand and he grabbed it back, he noticed that people were filtering in less and less. The plane would be leaving soon and he needed a drink, but he couldn't do it in front of this lady and the baby.

Vanessa looked at the two, "It's nice to meet you Murdoc and Stuart. You seem really nice, thank you...... people can be a little.... um.... judgmental, I suppose when I say the father isn't around...." she looked at the baby, a little sadly again.

Murdoc felt a little pain in his heart seeing the girl sad about that. She seemed to love her baby though, that was good at least. She gave Vance a toy ring to chew on and he chewed on it while watching Murdoc, who lifted an eyebrow. He wondered why the hell the baby was watching him so intently. He swallowed nervously.

Stuart nodded his head "May I ask what happened the father isn’t here?" he asked in a soft tone. "People judge us all the time, lady.... We're used to...." he said with a low chuckle but in a sad voice. He smiled to the baby and then to Murdoc. He found funny how he was staring at his fiancée.... was cuz of his nose? Or his teeth? Stuart couldn’t blame him, he would be looking at Murdoc whole day if he could. "Thank you for not judging us either...." he tried to be gentle

Stuart carefully with his fingertips touched the baby's hair with a goofy smile. he didn’t like the woman sad about the father. he squeezed Murdoc's hand, the plane would be moving soon and he would be even more nervous he knew that. he lifted his hand and kissed it, waiting for Vanessa's answer.

Vanessa smiled, "Oh no, no judgment here. I think it's sweet really. Love is a beautiful thing and should always be cherished. And his father was just a guy I had met at work. I work as a waitress.... we had a thing and Vance here was made and then his father left me. I don't.... really know where he is now. So I'm going to see my parents now." She played with the little toy as the baby cooed.

Instructions started playing over the speakers on all the safety features of the plane. Murdoc swallowed, and they felt the plane start to move onto the strip. He tensed and held onto Stuart's hand tightly. He started breathing harder and closed his eyes. He was not near as drunk as he would have liked to be right now.

"Oh.... is he okay? Nervous flyer?" Vanessa asked concerned. She looked at Stuart and then to Murdoc. Murdoc didn't hear her, he was too busy trying not to panic.

Stuart nodded to her explanation. He didn't know what was like to be abandoned by a parent.... But he knew Murdoc knew what it was like to be abandoned. he looked at him, He was about to panic.

Stuart bit his lip "Muds is.... a nervous flyer I can tell...." he wasn't drunk but he was about to panic "I'll try to call him down lady, talk to you in a minute." He said softly to her and Vance. The baby seemed frightened to fly so different from Murdoc.... But he frowned not understanding why the man was so nervous.

Stuart shifted in place and put Murdoc's seat belt on that he didn't remember to put as he was too busy panicking. He took off the arm part of the seat to pull him closer and placed his head on his shoulder. His arm he wrapped around him and rubbed the Satanist's arm. He didn't know what he was doing but Murdoc panicking was something that broke his heart. Even if he was a almost 40 years old man.

"Focus in my breathing and in my heart beat okay?" He whispered to him and kissed the top of his head. His free hand held the Satanist's trembling one and he started singing for him after he closed the window so Murdoc wouldn't see anything that was happening. At this time he was almost totally laying on him.

Stuart sung in a low soft tone and kissed him repeatedly. He gave small squeezes in his hand and told him he loved him. He just hoped what he was doing helped him more than alcohol would do and Murdoc didn't mock him from being so sappy and worried. He was actually happy Vanessa and Vance came to prevent him from drinking.

Murdoc could tell Stuart was moving around, but he didn't really notice much more, trying to keep himself from completely breaking down. He felt his head being placed on Stuart's shoulder and an arm wrapped around him.

He heard Stuart say to focus on his breathing and heartbeat. He tried, he swore he could only hear his own and it was getting faster. He heard Stuart's soft singing and started focusing on that. That and the kisses and Stuart whispering sweet nothings in his hear.

The plane started to speed up and take off. When he felt it take off and that small drop, he bit his lip hard and pushed himself into Stuart. He would have started swearing if it weren't for the baby. He hated flying so much and he felt like an idiot for acting like this.

"Sorry...." he whispered through clenched teeth, his eyes clamped shut still. He wished the floor would swallow him up. He felt so embarrassed as he sat there trying not to panic, like a child.

Stuart shook his head. He thought for a moment that Murdoc would start crying if he didn't help him. He didn't mind doing it. He again lifted his hand and kissed it.

He squeezed him tightly when the plane was taking off. He knew Murdoc had some childish fears and he didn't bother helping him. At least he could help.... worse would be if he paniked together with him. He focused in keeping his mind in place.

He pulled his two legs over one of his and kept him close. "Don't be sorry Muds.... I love you." he whispered to him rubbing his back like the Satanist always did when he was in panic. He found cute Murdoc that way. Some years ago he would never be able to comfort him like that.

After some moments, his hand went to his head caressing his hair hoping it would help Murdoc stop panicking. He could stay forever with him like that. He kissed his cheek.

Vanessa watched the two smiling. The baby was trying to grab her hair and was cooing. She thought it was sweet how Stuart was taking care of Murdoc. Murdoc seemed incredibly embarrassed, but it was only the three of them that could see him. She rubbed the babies back and let them be.

Murdoc finally started calming down. His breathing was becoming slower, as was his heart beat. He was still slightly on edge, but he was feeling a little better. He just laid against Stuart for a time, embarrassment taking over and now he didn't want to move. He was enjoying the attention Stuart was giving him, he wouldn't lie. All the stress and adrenaline and little bit of booze he'd managed to get actually made him feel a bit tired. He started to doze in and out.

Vanessa looked over at them and whispered to Stuart, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but you two are the sweetest I've ever seen...." she smiled. "It seems like you really love him." She said to Stuart, still whispering. The baby was gnawing on the toy ring, still cooing from time to time.

Stuart was focused in Murdoc when he heard her voice. He blushed hard looking at her.

"Thank you lady...." he whispered to her back. As he was taller it was easy placing Murdoc under his chin and talking to her. He placed the older male comfortably on his lap the way he could. Now Murdoc was totally turned to him. He let his hand go and wrapped his both arms around him kissing his head and keeping him close in a protective hug... Noticing his breath was calmer and steadier he thought Murdoc would be sleeping in no time. Was that lady shipping them?

"I love him very much, Vanessa...." he told her honestly while rubbing his back hoping Murdoc wasn’t hearing. "We're traveling to celebrate he proposed me.... we were dating for a while now and we've known each other for years.... actually we're in a band.... I’m the singer and he's the bassist" he smiled blushing even more. For him was so easier telling strangers than telling family. As she said something about her light he had to do the same for her telling something about them.

"And I'm sorry about his father...." he told about Vance "Are you gonna ask your parents for help or something?" He tried to talk to her hoping her parents were good people. He smiled.

She listened to Stuart intently as she grabbed a bottle from her handbag to feed Vance. He sucked on it hungrily and she turned back to Stuart. She chuckled as she saw he fully wrap his arms around him.

"Well congratulations. It sounds like you two are very happy and I'm happy for you." She adjusted the baby a bit then looked back at Stuart.

"Yeah, my parents live in Jamaica and when I told them about what was going on, they told me to come live with them so I can take better care of Vance. I'm taking him down there and I'll head back and finish packing and shipping the rest of my stuff to move." She looked down a little sad. "It'll be tough leaving London. I've lived there all my life...... but we do anything for the ones we love, huh?" She said softly, looking at Vance and stroking his cheek as he drank.

Stuart saw the hungry baby and smiled. He thought if they found Noodle at that age they could take they’re of her properly maybe not......

He listened to her story and as Murdoc didn't move a muscle he thought he was sleeping already. "Well.... if they accepted and want better conditions to Vance I think it's something good you're doing for him. So it's valid.... Even if he's not with his father.... I bet you're an amazing and strong mother to take care of him alone...." he whispered encouragingly positive with strangers too. Who knows she could find another man that would be up to assume Vance? "When he's older you can come back to London.... with a better job who knows?"

"I...." he tried to start telling her a bit about their lives "me and Muds.... we tried to reach for his mother he didn't see in 40 years.... she abandoned him with his father.... And was difficult for my fiancée deal with that.... his father wasn’t the best person y’know? So it’s better keeping the people who loves us around and leave the rest right? " he rubbed his back. Maybe the father didn’t love her or the baby so why matter?

"But yeah I think we .... do anything for the ones we love...." He agreed thinking about when Murdoc faced his parents for him. It was really touching.

Murdoc's head drooped a bit against Stuart's chest as he started to drift into a deeper sleep. Vanessa smiled wide, "Thank you Stuart. It's nice to finally tell someone and not be judged. Thank you for calling me strong, somedays I don't feel like it.... and I suppose I can always come back. Maybe we'll travel elsewhere. Europe.... maybe America?" She took the bottle from Vance for a second so he could catch his breath a bit. She giggled at him and kissed his rosy cheek then gave him back the bottle.

"You're very right Stuart. It's better to be around the people you love. I'm sure it was difficult for him...... I bet it helped having you there. He seems to be really fond of you." She leaned forward a bit to look at the sleeping Murdoc. She laughed softly.

"I know I haven't met either of you two long, so forgive me if I'm wrong, but he doesn't seem like the type to be so.... willing to be comforted like that.... Is he the type to keep things to himself? He must really care about you if he is letting you do that." She looked back down at Vance and back at Stuart with a smile.

"I just have a feeling. He seemed a lot like Vance's father. Sort of closed off and emotionally distant. You can tell when you see them react to a baby." She laughed remembering Murdoc flinching from the baby's happy shriek. Most people cooed and cawed over Vance.

Stuart managed to put him in a comfortable position against his chest kissing his head and whispering a good night to him.

"Don't mention it.... Who am I to judge? I have fractured eyes blue hair and no front teeth.... I thought you'd be scared of this couple of freaks, or your son would cry...." He chuckled lowly "Mothers are strong.... I guess." He told her softly thinking about Rachel and Abigail. He smiled see in their interaction. He was really a happy baby. He thought his father should have a good temper even not assuming him.

"He's fond with me, Vanessa.... cuz he didn't have a family or love when younger y'know? The first genuine hug he received was from our guitarist when she was 10.... She’s like a daughter to us." He smiled remembering tiny Noodle bouncing around and smiling happy for their engagement. He loved that girl.

 "So he attached himself with me.... And that's okay.... I don't mind taking care of him sometimes...." he said caressing his hair looking down "he already took care of me a lot when we first met...." he remembered the accident but wasn't sure to tell her the details why he had those void eyes.

"Mu’doc totally keeps things to himself. I guess I'm the only one to.... know his weakness y'know? He allowed me among all people...."he blushed.

"Why were you with a closed off and emotionally distant person Vanessa? You seem to be totally the opposite of it...." he chuckled and caressed Murdoc a bit more. He was the totally opposite of Murdoc. Maybe that's why they fit so well together. Suddenly he wanted to know more about his father.

Vanessa's eye's shot up in surprise. "His first genuine hug was from your guitarist? I don't know how long you've been in a band together but that still seems like too long for a hug...." she looked at Murdoc. "Poor guy...." she whispered and looked down at Vance, thankful she never had to give him up. She couldn't imagine him never receiving a hug till he was older. Broke her heart.

"How did you two meet?" She asked curiously, "If you don't mind me asking...." she added. She wasn't sure how comfortable he was telling her this but she figured they could get to know each other well since they'd be together for 24 hours. She blushed when he asked her about Vance's father.

"Oh.... well, he was.... very charming." She chuckled, "he knew how to charm his way into a woman's heart, that's for sure. Then we had some fun together for a while and I accidentally got pregnant. When I told him he just sort of.... shut down. The charming mask fell and he looked.... different. He told me to terminate the pregnancy or he'd leave and I told him I couldn't......" she looked at Vance. "And I'm glad I didn't.... I just felt.... something and knew I needed to have this gorgeous little angel. He's so lovely...." she caressed his cheek some more smiling and then sighed. "So he left and I never heard from him again. I guess it just.... wasn't meant to be.... you know?" She looked up at Stuart.

"Yeah.... Mu’doc didn't had an easy life I can tell you......" he said sadly. Thinking about all Murdocs been through Always made Stuart sad. "He's almost 40 and the band is 8 years old.... so you can count for that...." of course, he had other types of affection in life like sex and all.... But he wouldn't be bothered to tell her about that now. It wasn't genuine. He thought that Noodle maybe didn't receive a hug in 10 years as well.... that's why she must be this restrict to physical touch just like Murdoc.

"It was an accident Vanessa.... he ran over me with his car... And that's why I have those black eyes and no front teeth..." he smiled and pointed to his face "he took care of me for a year cuz I was in a coma...." he explained vaguely "I fell in love with him afterwards ..." he chuckled. It wasn't a good start he knew.

He nodded to her sad story. Sometimes Stuart was thankful he couldn’t get pregnant. Murdoc wouldn't accept a son.... or would he?

"And you're dealing okay with that....? I mean he was a jerk not assuming.... But you can fall in love with someone nicer and that will work out well... And that will like Vance.... I mean who doesn't like Vance....?" He chuckled and poked the baby's nose. "At least you have your family, lady...." he whispered looking at her. "He will be fine with you.... you didn't abort that was the nicest choice you could have made for him...." he thought if they didn't assumed Noodle where she would be now. He swallowed hard still trying to be positive.

He couldn't help but think if Vanessa liked his father or was just sex and fun.

She listened to his story, "Really? That's how you met? Interesting.... it's sweet he took care of you...... I can't believe he'd gone so long.... that's horrible. Children are precious." She said smiling at Vance as he finished his bottle. She put the empty bottle down and put him over her shoulder to burp him. She looked back at Stuart.

"It's good he has you now. That's what matters. I always try to look forward and stay positive. You have to sometimes...... when Vance's father left, I was distraught. I didn't know how I was going to take care of him, but I decided I wasn't going to give up. I buckled down and worked extra shifts at my job till I couldn't anymore. I had Vance and I thankfully had a ton of friends that could help me out so I could go back to work a little right after. It's been so exhausting though.... that's why I'm going to my parents. I liked Vance's father a lot. I'm not so sure I loved him. I thought I did, but when I look back, I don't think I truly did. I'll find someone I love, just like you. It may take a while but it will happen." She smiled and chuckled as the baby burped and she held him close in her arms once more. The baby starting to close his eyes, getting sleepy.

Murdoc cuddled into Stuart more, twitching slightly. He started lightly snoring. Stuart was comfortable to sleep against and Murdoc was exhausted from the excitement of the day.

Stuart chuckled hearing his burp. "And you say sometimes you don't think you're a strong woman huh? He joked. She sounded like a super strong woman to the singer. He wouldn’t be able to do all that if he was in her place.

He looked at Murdoc. He was able to do all the things he thought he couldn't for him. Would he keep doing it? Murdoc moved and snorted. Stuart smiled. Of course, he would. No matter what he wanted Murdoc with him so much. He kissed his head and whispered he loved him into his ear.

He felt he had a big baby on his arms. What she told him was true. Murdoc would never show no one how he was weak or soft. Only Stuart knew that. And he loved it. The side of Murdoc he thought it didn't exist.

"Thanks for sharing your life with me lady. Vance has an amazing mother with him. You'll be okay." He smiled sweetly "I hope things work out for you in Jamaica.... or wherever you want to be...." he looked again at Murdoc "it took me 8 years to have him.... so.... the love of your life can be right in front of you and.... you just can't see...." he whispered thinking about Murdoc.

She nodded, "And thank you Stuart. I hope you're right and I hope we can chat more when Murdoc wakes up.  Vance really seemed to like him." She whispered, noticing Vance starting to sleep. She pulled out a neck pillow from her bag and then grabbed a few small traveler’s pillows from the overhead compartment that could be used for anyone on the flight. They were small but at least they did the trick when someone was tired.

She handed two to Stuart so he could use it to lean against the wall to sleep when he was ready. Then she sat back down and pulled out a big baby blanket and wrapped it over her and Vance. It was only about 7 but she always slept when the baby slept. She cuddled with Vance and slowly fell asleep with her baby, leaving Stuart on his own a bit.

Stuart stood a while awake thinking about their talking. He thanked her for the pillow and tried to lay down the chair a bit so he was more comfortable. He took some of his pills to sleep faster and cuddled with Murdoc kissing his face and caressing his hair till he fell asleep still holding him.

Maybe this way time would move faster than awake. And Murdoc felt terribly comfortable on him.

Murdoc slept hard and woke up a little disoriented. When he woke up, he realized he was snuggled against Stuart. He could tell he was a little sore being curled up as he was. He blinked a bit and remembered he was on a plane. He slowly opened the window Stuart had closed and it was completely dark out, which he was thankful for, helped settle his nerves slightly. He closed it again and looked up at Stuart. He was asleep, his head back against a pillow and his mouth open. Murdoc chuckled and leaned up, gently kissing his cheek.

He looked around a bit and noticed.... Vanessa was her name? He couldn't remember exactly. Vanessa and Vance. Vanessa was asleep while Vance was awake and babbling to himself softly. Murdoc sat up and stretched, making sure not to wake Stuart. He tried to ignore the baby but his gaze kept flickering to him as he laid there, chewing on his toy. Murdoc took out his vodka bottle and took a swig. He was still a bit on edge, especially when the plane bounced from turbulence. He looked around and noticed most everyone else was asleep.

They hit a bit of turbulence and Murdoc gripped his seat and closed his eyes. "Christ." He hissed as he waited for it to stop. He took another swig of vodka and put it away. He looked over as the baby started babbling a bit more, almost whining. He noticed the kid had dropped the toy during the turbulence. He hesitantly reached down and grabbed it, giving it back to the baby.

Vance wasn't interested. He started squirming and letting out little whimpers, threatening to crowd. Murdoc panicked. He tried cooing at the baby, but it proved unsuccessful. He didn't want the baby to cry and wake everyone up. He slowly picked the kid up out of his mothers arms and held him a bit awkwardly. The baby looked at him and smiled. He sat the baby on his lap and the baby started playing with his cross straight away. Murdoc pursed his lips and swallowed nervously. Children made him nervous...... but he supposed he could do this for a while....

Stuart noticed the turbulence. He was sleeping lightly cuz it was actually too early for that. So he noticed Murdoc wasn't on his chest anymore. He heard him nervous cuz of the turbulence and Vance whining. He saw him drinking but wouldn't do anything about it. He felt a bit angry.

He slowly opened just one eye to see what was happening. And the vision melted his heart and made his anger go away. He bit his lip and thankfully it was dark so Murdoc wasn't seeing him. His pitch back eyes couldn't be seeing in the dark.  He suppressed a sigh...... Murdoc confused with a baby was the best sight he could have. He wanted to kiss him and hug him. Murdoc had a really soft side even babies seemed to enjoy. He thought that little kid could ruin the trip but he did the opposite.

Would he dare to disturb the moment? No.... The baby was playing with his cross. It was so cute.... he wasn't the only one who liked doing that huh? He just hoped the baby didn't start crying and Murdoc could handle that. He wished he could take a picture. He didn't move.... if Murdoc needed he could ask him for help. And he didn't want Vance smelling of vodka when his mother wakes up and picked him.

He kept pretending he was asleep just admiring them. He felt a warm sensation in his heart if they had a baby. Murdoc would be a good father he thought. He was just curious why that baby found Murdoc so familiar.

The baby sat on his lap a little more comfortably and played and chewed on his cross for a while. Murdoc growled and rolled his eyes. "Do you do anything besides drool and chew on stuff?" He whispered to the baby. Vance only looked up at him and babbled a bit as he continued to gnaw on the upside down cross.

Murdoc put his head back and sighed. He wasn't sure why he had this baby, it wasn't his. But he didn't want Stuart to wake up. Murdoc didn't even remember falling asleep. The baby continued to babble at him, he looked down, eyebrow raised.

"You talk a lot.... what the hell do you have to talk about?" He asked. The baby just gave a slight smile and kept talking to him. He grabbed Murdoc's finger and squeezed it, throwing it around as he held onto it. His other hand kept the cross to his mouth to chew.

"That cross get's no respect...." he chuckled and thought about how much it gets touched. The baby started moving a bit to crawl up his chest, standing with Murdoc's help. He smiled and eagerly grabbed at Murdoc's nose, then felt his face with his little hands. Then he grabbed Murdoc's hair and pulled.

"Ow! You little shit." Murdoc hissed, tearing the kids hand away from his hair. The baby started whimpering and was on the verge of crying. Murdoc flinched and panicked. He put the kids hand back in his hair and let the kid yank and pull on it, holding his wrists gently in the hopes of easing the pain. Vance squealed happily while Murdoc growled.

Stuart bit his lip harder to Murdoc's comment on the baby. Sometimes the singer just chew stuff and drooled.

He kept staring at then taking deep breaths to pretend he was asleep. He was having a conversation with a baby...... He thought about his big brain conversations with Cortez in prison. At least the bird didn't drool. But didn't answer as well.

He played with his finger. Well Stuart liked his hands too. He was finding himself really similar to a baby at this point. He thought why Murdoc didn't get angry with his childish attitudes more often. This attitudes showed the singer He was really changed.... even with a baby from a stranger.

Then the baby came to his face and at this point was hard not to laugh. When he pulled his hair and Murdoc cursed was it. Stuart chuckled lowly and shook his head. He leaned closer whispering to him "Muds you aren't much of a parent person are you....?" He said softly trying not to laugh too loud "need help with Vance, love?" He offered softly noticing Murdoc was in pain with those pulls.

He found really cute and touching how he was allowing the baby to do anything with him so he wouldn't cry. Sometimes Murdoc would do anything for Stuart not be sad or cry. That baby told more about themselves than the singer thought it could.

He looked at the mom thankfully sleeping. She wouldn't be happy noticing they steal her baby while she was unconscious. He kissed his cheek for being so lovely with the kid. He hated his smell but he knew alcohol helped him being that patient in the end.

Murdoc flinched when he heard Stuart and felt a little embarrassed being caught. "Sorry, Stu. I was trying to keep him from waking you." He looked at Vance. "Bloody little wanker is a hair puller apparently." He growled.

The baby looked at him and cooed again. He then tried to pull Murdoc closer by his hair so he could chew on it. Murdoc refused to get closer and instead attempted to distract him with the cross again. Thankfully, Vance seemed to like it better. He grabbed it and started chewing on it again, bouncing happily as the bassist held up.

Murdoc shook his head and looked at Stuart. "Should I keep holding him? You wanna hold him? I don't want to put him back in her lap or he might wake her. She's sleeping like she hasn't slept in years, I'd feel kind of bad waking her...." he whispered, looked at her then back at Stuart. He had no idea what to do with babies and he didn't know if Stuart knew anything either.

Stuart chuckled "don't be sorry you look totally adorable avoiding him from crying not having a clue of what to do......" he said softly.

Stuart's jaw almost fell. Was he really hearing what he thought he was? Murdoc caring about a stranger? About a mother? His face went red, his eyes shone and he smiled adorably feeling a warm sensation blossoming into his heart for Murdoc's kind hearted action. He loved the man next to him.

 "I think..." He pushed the button on Vanessa's chair so she was laying down a bit better now. he wrapped an arm around Murdoc and placed him on his chest again " you should keep him. He seems to like You better.... if you put it in my lap he will start crying without you and your shiny cross." Vance looked really happy in his arms. He even forgot his toy. Stuart booped his nose "can't blame you.... I love playing with his cross too...." he whispered to the baby.

"Fr some reason he likes you Muds.... leave Vanessa sleeping." He kissed the top of his head "Are you sleepy?" He asked softly. "If you don't mind we can try to make him go to sleep again on your lap.... i can sing him a lullaby or something...." he suggested shifting to a better position keeping Murdoc with him. "This way he will stop pulling your hair, blackbird...."

Murdoc saw Stuart's face in the dim light. He could see him stay quiet looking at Murdoc with a look of.... love? He tried to think of what he said that would warrant that look. But before he could ask, Stuart pulled him to his chest and talked with Vance.

"Yeah, I don't know why he likes me. He's annoying.... a big drooling mess." Murdoc growled looking at him. When he was leaning against Stuart’s chest the baby was sort of lying on his chest playing with the cross and watching both guys.

"Maybe you should try the lullaby. I bet he'd like that. Keep the little bugger from pulling my hair......" he mumbled, feeling comfortable against Stuart's chest. He looked at Vance. "You're about to get a private show, you better be happy. His voice is amazing." He told the kid. Vance just gave a small little smile and banged Murdoc's cross up and down. Murdoc frowned and shook his head.

That little act of kindness and empathy was enough to make this whole travel worth. Stuart noticed that Murdoc now could be really nice with other people besides himself. And the feeling of this happening was amazing for him. But he would keep his satisfaction to himself. He felt proud of is fiancée and sure about who he was gonna marry.

He looked down and his big round baby's eyes made him smile. "Don’t talk about him like that Mu’doc.... he's just a baby.... I am an annoying mess." he chuckled "Vanessa told me you remind her of his father.... maybe Vance thinks the same." he shrugged "we talked a bit when you fell asleep holding me after the plane took off...." he whispered chuckling lowly. He didn’t know if he was interested in what they talked.

Stuart thought about lullabies.... he didn’t know much by heart so.... he sung what came to his mind and heart at that moment. He was deeply happy and in love with the man laying on him. his heart fluttering with joy. he thought Murdoc maybe wouldn’t like, but Stuart loved this song.

 

_Love of my life, you've hurt me_

_You've broken my heart and now you leave me_

_Love of my life, can't you see?_

_Bring it back, bring it back_

_Don't take it away from me, because you don't know_

_What it means to me......_

 

He started lowly. He placed Murdoc in a position that he was singing against his ear, so he whispered but loud enough Vance could hear. It wasn’t really a lullaby but he hoped he was a fan of Queen. With one hand he caressed Murdoc's hair and interlaced the song with kisses on his head, and the other he used his fingertips to brush Vance's hair from his face and try to drift him to sleep.

He smiled while singing. He was singing to that baby but especially for Murdoc. He thought music could make everyone happy.... and his voice was a gift that he should use to make people happy. Even if it was really different from Freddie Mercury’s one.

Murdoc blushed hearing they'd talked while he was curled up on Stuart. That was an embarrassing moment for him, he's glad no one really saw except those two. He was curious as to who Vance's father was then. How did Murdoc remind her of him? He'd ask later.

He smiled when Stuart started singing queen. It was beautiful in his voice and it made him shiver when he did it in his ear. It was so gentle and sweet. Vance seemed to like it too, plus the head rubs. He laid his head down on Murdoc's chest while still chewing on the cross and looking at the two while mumbling a bit.

Murdoc felt comfortable against Stuart's chest. He even forgot for a moment they were on a plane. He enjoyed his gentle touches in his hair. He felt loved. Stuart had an amazing effect on him like that. Something he'd never experienced before. He didn't even want the alcohol right now, he felt calm for once. His own eyes started to close a bit as Stuart sang. He kept flitting them open a bit to see Vance closing his again too. He finally dozed off with the baby on his chest dozing as well.

After about 5 mins, Vanessa, who'd been awake just a few moments before the two fell asleep, finally spoke up. "Wow...." she whispered with a chuckle, "that was amazing.... you two have a way with kids...." she looked at Stuart. She had panicked for a moment waking up till she saw the two with Vance. She didn't mind. She'd slept really well for the first time in a while, she'd take it.

Stuart enjoyed that moment with those two. Even Vance being an unknown baby he could deal with that. Murdoc was calm and slept so fast.... he wish he could do it more often.... he loved to sing to Murdoc to sleep. He noticed her speaking and flinched a bit.

"Thank you lady.... Sorry for stealing your baby... He would start crying and Murdoc decided to take care of him for you...." his face was a deep red and he chuckled nervously. "Muds saw how you were tired and didn’t want to wake you up..." he told her in a whisper. "I think they slept again...." he looked at Vance drooling with his cross in his little mouth still and Murdoc snorting. His hand rested on Murdoc's hair and he kissed his head. He felt so proud responsible for them.

"Want me to give him back to you....?" he asked in a low tone with a smile "he seemed to calm down on my fiancée’s lap...." While Murdoc seems to calm down on my lap' he thought. He chuckled. He just hope Vance wouldn’t cry when they left him in Jamaica.

Vanessa just shook her head and laughed. "No, it's okay. He is a good baby but has so much energy, I don't get a lot of sleep, so it's great to see him sleeping like this." She thought they all looked so sweet together, it was adorable.

"Have you two thought about kids?" She whispered, adjusting her chair and putting the pillows away for now. She grabbed a small snack out of her bag and started eating. She offered some to Stuart.

"I never thought I would have a kid.... I was never interested. My parents always wanted grandkids but I just was never interested. He was an accident but he wasn't a mistake." She whispered, almost to herself. "Do you think your fiancée would be interested in adopting? Is he good with your little guitarist?" She asked.

Stuart blushed hard but nodded to the snack grabbing some to avoid his nervousness. "No.... actually we never even thought about marriage till one day ago....I'm still processing I'm getting married." he chuckled. Actually Stuart had, but Murdoc no.

"Oh Noodle? yes he's her favourite, they get on well she's Japanese and 15 now actually. We're like her guardians y’know? Like we adopted her. Muds tells me I'm like her older brother, I tell him he's like her father.... And there's our drummer maybe an uncle...." he laughed. "she's pretty independent and as she came to us as a child we never really took care of a baby...." he explained softly. "You should see her face when I told her I was engaged.... I love that girl."

He heard her explanation "well, I'm 27, Muds is 39.... he told me he thought he was too old to marry... so I guess he probably thinks he's too old for adopting kids too, Vanessa.... but i never talked to him about that really" he looked at him "But he has a way with them as you could see..." he chuckled.

"As we're a band, lady, it’s kinda difficult keeping a baby.... with all travels and recording and interviews...." he couldn’t believe she never heard about them. And how would them explain a baby to the press? "but we did a pretty decent job with Noodle.... she didn’t have no one.... no past.... she didn’t even spoke English when we first met her.... so it was difficult communicating with just one word or two...." he whispered.

"But no, your baby isn’t a mistake...." he looked at him. "it just .... didn’t work between you and his father that's all...." he tried to sound comforting "some things happens for a reason, Vanessa." he said seriously. "Meeting Muds was an accident.... literally." he laughed.

She chuckled, "I think you two would make wonderful parents. You both compliment each other perfectly. And yes he does have quite a way with children." She nodded. She was happy for the both of them.

"I could see how it'd be difficult to have kids though with your lifestyle.... and... he's 39? And you're 27?" She looked between the two. "That's crazy.... you both look much younger.... do you use a special kind of lotion?" She whispered.

Then she processed what Stuart had said earlier. "You guys got married yesterday? And you decided a trip was good?" She laughed quietly. "You guys seem very spur of the moment, must be fun, right? Do you have rings yet?" She looked at their fingers, she would have loved to see some. She wished she had someone like that.

"Forgive me for asking so many questions. I was just wondering, how did your guys parents take the news? I remember when I had to tell my parents.... they were furious with Vance's father, but not me. It was a relief they were so supportive of my choice." She smiled.

Stuart chuckled. Murdoc would be happy to know she found him younger "this one here is always telling me he's old and all that.... only twelve years right?" he chuckled and blushed. She sounded so nice to them. "No lotions.... just music and lots of junk food..." he looked down and bit his lip "and love." he whispered.

"No, he proposed me yesterday, Vanessa.... he ...... kinda came to me with the desire of having a time only with me and ...... Made this whole trip in like, a day?" he looked up. Was exactly that what happened. Well they had money, "I accepted to marry him and to travel.... How could I say no....?" he laughed "See?" he showed her his hands "We don’t have the rings yet.... they'll come in a month.... he ordered so it will be a surprise.... then we'll get married properly..." he explained softly "he told me I could make the ceremony, but I’m not that clever y’know? Many details.... my brain isn’t the same after so many car crashes." he chuckled.

He pursued his lips "Parents.... we.... didn’t talk to them about marrying yet... not them not the fans, just the drummer and guitarist.... it all happened so fast we didn’t have the time" he looked down. "My parents kinda don’t get on well with Muds cuz.... he put me in a coma and for a year after the accident so .... I was apart from them.... and me waking up was another accident" he looked at her

"We managed to travel to see them in Eastbourne and sort things out.... it kinda worked...." he smiled "Muds' father is dead and he didn’t know about his mother since he was a child. he tried to look for her when he was twenty and she had another family with a husband and twins living in Crawley.... he chose not to disturb that." he caressed his hair talking about Murdoc to her with his eyes shining

"I convinced him to try to visit her again this year and she was really welcoming.... we found out that the twins, his half brother's are our fans...." he laughed, "Her husband was the only one who didn’t accept the idea yet I guess.... so if we decide to have a wedding we'll definitely invite them." he thought for a moment "Oh he has another brother.... from his father.... Hannibal Niccals...." he almost forgot him. "He lives in Stoke but doesn’t know about the wedding as well.

She smiled wide when Stuart whispered the love part of looking young. Her heart melted, this Stuart was absolutely fond of Murdoc. She was sort of jealous, but it only made her want to find her love.

"He ordered rings? That's so sweet." She giggled in a whisper. "Well, I hope it goes well with your parents. It sounds like Murdoc's mom will be fine. I can understand why your parents may be hesitant to like him.... I know I would find it difficult to like the person who hit my child.... even if it was an accident. But if he was happy.... I would try hard to accept it. And you two seem very happy. " she nodded.

She flinched when she heard the name Hannibal Niccals from Stoke. Her baby's father was from Stoke originally.... but he wasn't a Hannibal Niccals.... but Niccals sounded familiar. She shook her head, pushing it aside.

"Well I am very happy for you two, and a little jealous." She chuckled. "You two are just so adorable.... from what you've told me, he seems to really love you Stuart. Never let go of that. It's a precious thing." She slowly and quietly got up as she said that. She turned to Stu as she stood in the isle. "I'll be right back, I'm gonna stretch my legs and use the bathroom." She whispered. "Thank you!" She said as she walked away real quick.

Stuart nodded to all she said. She was jealous? He smiled wide.... it wasn’t something nice to feel but he felt flattered his life was something good for other people's eyes. He felt he made the right choice in marrying Murdoc. "Don’t worry take your time" he told her with a smile. He felt like he could talk to her all night long if she wanted.

he looked down and the baby was still drooling and holding his cross tightly. Vance was smiling, was he dreaming? He smiled at the sight. He quickly grabbed his phone from his pocket and took a photo of Murdoc sleeping with the baby and him behind to put it in his collection. He saved it with the subtitle of "Trip to Jamaica, me, Muds and Vance: Parents (?)" he would never forget that day.

He noticed it was a bit cold too, Murdoc was shivering on him. he placed a hand quickly under the seat and found the blanket the company gave the passengers. Soon he covered Murdoc and Vance hoping they would feel better. he whispered into his ear "I love you so much Muds...." and kissed his temple still caressing his hair gently waiting her to come back. his other hand he grabbed Murdoc's.

Murdoc twitched and grumbled a bit in his sleep, but was otherwise unmoving. He was comfortable now and he wasn't going to move for nothing. He dreamed of Stuart and himself together.

Vanessa came back after a bit and felt relieved they were still sleeping and smiled seeing the blanket. "Are you okay in that position? It's been a while. Do you need anything?" She whispered. She loved seeing her baby sleep, he was so adorable. She appreciated the help from them. She was sure they'd hate her for bringing a baby onto a plane.

 She rester her head in her hand and watched them fondly. "So when would you want to get married? What kind of wedding would you have?" She asked excited. She loved weddings. "How did he propose?" She smiled, imagining it was in some romantic way.

Stuart liked him being questioned this way. He loved people interested in his life.... especially when the questions involved Murdoc. "No I don’t need anything. When they wake up I go to the bathroom...." he said softly. he wanted to go now but wouldn’t disturb Murdoc and Vance, and the position wasn’t good too, but he would deal with it later. "But thanks for asking Vanessa...." now he felt comfortable too, even with a stranger.

"Well we'll be traveling for a week or two, Muds didn’t tell me exactly.... after that we will be recording and giving an interview and maybe start working in a new album...... " he looked at her. "So maybe some time after we receive the rings I guess...." he chuckled it seemed so soon.

"I suggested him to marry at the beach and.... he didn’t want to invite many people.... as its difficult for him telling his feelings in front of people...." he kissed his head quickly "He agreed but nothing decided yet...." he thought about him asking.

"Well, Muds is still.... learning how to be romantic y’know....? The day he ordered the rings he told me at night he couldn’t wait a month to propose me and he asked me...." he blushed remembered being covered in whip cream and Murdoc in chocolate sauce. He shook his head. "I cried and said yes...." he said simply. He wouldn’t mention his huge breakdown. Besides Cortez, Noodle and Russel she was another person he told the truth.

"You wanna get married Vanessa? Like with all that?" he asked curiously with his big round void eyes.

Vanessa smiled wide. "Oh my Gosh, that sounds adorable. He couldn't wait.... how cute." She could understand why he may not want to invite a lot of people. If he sounded as guarded as it he seemed, he would definitely not want to do that.... but it was fair. Standing up there would probably be super hard when you only show affection openly to a single person you trust.

"You cried? Does he ever get uncomfortable when you do that?" She chuckled. She could imagine him not knowing what to do. He had flinched at a baby screeching happily, he was not the type to deal with emotions. She thought it was probably cute.

"Yeah, I'd love to get married someday. I want to settle down and find someone to help me with Vance and love him as much as I do. If that doesn't happen, well...." she sighed, "what happens, happens, yeah? Nothing I can do but try. You two are very inspirational though. I must say. You're very cute together.... I bet he's really sweet on you,  huh?" She smiled sweetly, looking at Murdoc. "Do you ever.... worry he'll leave? Do you ever doubt everything?" She asked seriously, all of a sudden. She was curious to know how he dealt with thoughts like that.

'yeah cute....' was all Stuart could think about. "yeah I cried...." he thought for a moment looking at her "let's say me and Muds weren’t the.... best when it came to friendship in the past y’know...? We’ve been through some tough times and... when he proposed me, I felt like a huge burden had left me and I broke.... I was happy of course.... but all came at once it was overwhelming my dream coming true...." he tensed a bit remembering "Muds started to treat me well not long ago, lady.... we used to fight a lot in the past...." he wouldn’t say Murdoc abused him. the accident was already bad enough to talk about.

"Now he gets.... he hates seeing me cry.... before it was cuz he made me cry sometimes.... now he can’t stand seeing me sad...." he told her fondly "Muds changed to better.... I'm proud of him..." he said blushing. He couldn’t tell him this in person. "And usually I cry cuz I'm happy or emotive... y’know? Not cuz I’m hurt anymore...." he told her proudly.

He blushed even more when he was hearing her words. "Thank you Vanessa... "He whispered "but you’re young, strong, beautiful of course you'll find someone in your life" he told her with a confident smile and winked. He had learned that with Murdoc. He thought she was even younger than him.

He looked down at Murdoc too. "he's learning how to be sweet, lady...... it’s difficult for someone who doesn’t know what love is...... and never loved in his whole life...." he whispered "we've been.... through a hiatus recently, we were apart for almost two years.... and I missed him so much, so much......" he told her sweetly and held Murdoc tighter

"We weren’t together that time still, but we had worked together before.... but yeah, at this point I don’t think I can go ahead without him...." he looked at her "he's my best mate after all.... and.... I’m not worried he will leave, I'm worried if something might tear us apart...." his was whispering now, his heart on his throat. He was really admitting his fears for an unknown person. "But I don’t doubt his love or his loyalty.... I don’t think that even almost forty Murdoc had felt love for anyone in his life...." he told her honestly. He knew how Murdoc was crazy about him and how all the time he told him he loved him he sounded terribly needy and desperate sometimes. "He says... He would do anything for me Vanessa.... But I think I could give him my life if he needed..." he blushed a bit shaken.

She blushed and smiled at his compliments. She giggled at his wink. He was truly a sweetheart. She could see why Murdoc may have fallen in love with him.

Her eyes widened by his words, "Wow.... that's so.... just wow. Stuart, you are truly in love and it's so.... inspiring." She smiled wide. "I'm sorry your friendship didn't start out so strong.... did he not like you at first? I can't imagine that at all. And then to have it turn into that kind of love? Just wow...... " she smiled fondly.

"And if you love each other that much, I know that even if you are torn apart, you'll still find each other again......" she smiled and noticed the baby was stirring a bit. She didn't think he'd sleep long but she was happy she got to talk with Stuart. She could see them being friends.

The baby opened his eyes slowly and then looked around. He started whimpering a bit so Vanessa decided to pick him gently and take him to the bathroom to change and walk around a bit so he wouldn't cry. She told Stuart she'd be back in a bit.

Murdoc stirred a bit, feeling the baby gone. His head jerked up suddenly and he looked around suddenly, scared the baby fell off of him. He looked around and then looked up at Stuart. "Where's the kid?!"

Stuart shook his head "no I bet he didn’t... He was jealous of me at first.... cuz I had everything and he fought so hard to achieve his dream and failed so many times...." he said sadly looking at Murdoc snoring on him "he thought it wasn’t fair for me it was easy.... so he stole my girlfriend once.... and was over jealous about me...." he chuckled.

"i think he liked but he couldn’t deal with emotions y’know? he sometimes hurt me.... and...." he stopped for a moment "he wanted my attention and I wanted his.... but Muds used to drink a lot and I’m addicted to painkillers and things didn’t work .... but... i think love was always there deep inside.... we were just too.... scared of showing it and be dumped" he looked at her slightly shaking. "he wasn’t the dating guy y’know? He used to shag and throw away.... just like true rock stars...." he chuckled "he settled down with me I guess...."

He told her that and the baby woke up. He nodded to her leaving and Murdoc woke up. he giggled to his despair "Vanessa took him to change the diaper, love.... no one stole him......" he said softly "you were so cute sleeping together I couldn’t wake you up...." he teased him. "she thanked us from taking care of him.... she said we'd be good parents, Muds.... we were talking while you were sleeping...." he said stretching himself a bit and groaning in pain. His bony limbs were hurting cuz of the uncomfortable position. He found terribly fond Murdoc worried about Vance.

Murdoc settled down when Stuart said the kid was with Vanessa. He groggily got up off of Stuart and back into his own seat, rubbing his eyes. He looked at Stuart with a yawn.

"Did you chat with her? How would she know we'd be good parents?" He asked. He looked around and noticed she was nowhere to be seen.

Just then the plane hit a bit of turbulence and Murdoc felt the anxiety start again. He grabbed the bottle from his jacket and took a few small gulps, not knowing when he'd be able to do it again.

He looked at Stuart as he put the bottle away. "How are you doing, love? Sorry I keep sleeping on you...." he said, a little embarrassed of himself. "You're very comfortable to lay on." He chuckled.

Stuart was happy he woke up but he hated him drinking. he sighed. "yes she's lovely.... i was talking to her about our story, our family, the marriage.... she saw how you dealt with her son...... how you took care of him when she was sleeping and i sung for you to sleep.... she told me we would be good parents and asked if we wanted kids.... adoption. I talked about Noodle." he said in a low emotionless tone not looking at him. Trying to not sound angry. "I'm fine.... I just want to keep you both comfortable....it doesn’t bother you sleeping on me, Muds..." he whispered and looked through the window avoiding him.

He could use the singer instead of drinking. He could hold his hand or chat or anything besides getting drunk. He knew he could do better. He folded his arms and tried to see anything out the window but it was all pitch black and he sighed defeated.

Murdoc could tell the singer was mad, but he wasn't entirely sure why. He tried to think if he had done something. He put his arm around Stuart and pulled him towards him. He cupped the singer’s jaw gently and turned his face towards him.

"Hey.... what's wrong?" He whispered. "Tell me......" he added. He gave the singer a sweet kiss and looked at him. He was now noticing a giant drool stain on his shirt; he could feel the wetness of it. He ignored it though; he'd deal with it later. Right now, he was worried about his singer.

Stuart would laugh at his wet shirt but he kept his emotionless face. "I hate when you drink unnecessarily, Mu’doc" he narrowed his eyes "when it's not the time and place for that. We're in a plane and next to a mother and a baby and you smell like booze. You used charm to bring this here and I didn’t like it. You were holding her baby Mu’doc." He said seriously

 "you should be glad she didn't notice or if she did she didn't say anything. "He sighed "anyway you already did so I hope you enjoy the rest of your vodka.... You could have used me to feel less anxious or nervous or I dunno.... you're not alone in this flight." He said sadly. "But that's okay I know how you don't like flying and heights... I'm just being annoying, I'm sorry." He looked down and changed the arm, which was holding him to hold his hand looking through the window again silently.

Murdoc's shoulders dropped. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He sat there looking down at their hands for a moment, unsure of what to say and processing all of what Stuart said. He hadn't expected his drinking to be the issue, actually. He supposed he wasn't wrong about the baby and the alcohol together. He could understand that. He also could understand why he might be upset about him not using Stuart....

He felt slightly guilty. He hated himself more when he thought he should have a drink to calm his guilt...... he clenched his teeth then bit his lip for a few minutes before getting the courage to say anything. He thought about getting mad. About getting offended but knew that wouldn't be right. They were on a plane.... nowhere to go and he couldn't yell. He pushed that feeling down and sighed before talking.

"I'm sorry Stu.... I'll stop, yeah? No.... no more alcohol okay? I'm sorry.... I'm just so used to it. I'm used to using alcohol to help me, okay? Please don't be mad...." he whispered, slightly embarrased. He pulled his hand away from Stuart, stood up, and walked towards the bathroom.

"I'll be right back...." he mumbled before Stuart could say anything. Be passed by Vanessa on his way there. She was happily chatting with a flight attendant and didn't notice him. He went into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He gripped the sink tightly and glared at himself.

Just then, some turbulence hit and he gripped the sink tight and started to hyperventilate a bit. "Christ." He growled, getting pissed. He backed up against the wall and slid down slowly, next to the toilet.

He grabbed the bottle out of his jacket and looked at it, gripping it tightly. He battled with himself. All he had to do was down a whole bunch and it wouldn't matter. He wouldn't feel this guilt, he wouldn't have to worry about what Stuart thought, he would be able to get through this plane ride......

But then he'd have to worry about Stuart after. He'd hurt him.... he knew that.... this wasn't the time nor the place to pull that shit. He growled and swallowed the lump in his throat.

He unscrewed the cap and just sat there like that. He could smell the liquor.... he could practically taste it.... he growled again, sighing and lifting it up and dumping it into the toilet. He hated wasting it but if he didn't he'd drink it.

He stood up slowly when he was done, flushed the toilet after using it, and walked back slowly to the seats. Vanessa was still chatting. He didn't look at Stuart as he sat down and looked down at his hands.

Stuart was about to answer him but he couldn't do anything as Murdoc stood up. He felt slightly guilty. He thought Murdoc was gonna yell at him or curse him or do something. But he apologized.  He felt his stomach flipping from guilty. He was getting a bit panicky Murdoc would do something bad when he stood up and left.

He didn't ask him to throw it away or anything. He was just sad Murdoc had to deal with his problems drinking. But well he dealt with his own using pills.... so who he was to judge?

Then Murdoc came back Stuart was fidgeting with his fingers nervously and stopped to look at him "Y-you.... threw it away....?" He asked whispering. He couldn't believe he did that just cuz he was upset with his drinking. It was a bit too much. He looked at him.

Murdoc kept his head down, hiding his eyes behind his fringe, shaking just ever so slightly. He crossed his arms and hunched his shoulders, almost pouting. He was slightly embarrassed to have been called out on his actions. He knew Stuart wasn't wrong, it just hurt to be reminded he was wrong.

"Yeah.... gone. Down the drain...." he mumbled. He dug his long nails into his arms trying to calm down a bit. This whole day plane ride was filled with embarrassment and now he didn't get the comfort of alcohol. He was a little mad at himself for panicking like a child. He was damn near 40, he should be able to handle a plane. He hunched his shoulders deeper.

Stuart’s shoulders fell. He didn’t have to go that far from him. He was happy of course but now Murdoc was in a bad mood And looked really nervous and upset without alcohol. He didn't know how much drinking could help him.

He bit his lip and opened his arms awkwardly. "Hug?" He whispered. "Thank you for all that and I'm sorry...." he said all at once looking desperate. There were so many more hours .... would he be able to deal all that without alcohol? Would Murdoc decline his hug?

No, he would help Murdoc no matter what. Stuart would be there for him. Was he mad at Stuart? Was he mad at himself? He was scared of his body language. He didn't mind taking care of him. He swallowed hard hoping he could at least comfort Murdoc someway. He should have kept his big mouth shut.

Murdoc turned to look at him slightly, one of his eyes showing below the fringe to look at Stuart. He looked at the kid for a moment, deciding on what to do. He really wanted that hug.... He then unfolded his arms and leaned over, wrapping them around Stuart and mushing his face into his chest.

He shook a bit, still upset with himself and still embarrassed. However, he couldn't pass up a hug from Stuart, especially when he said it in such an adorable way. Was Stuart really sorry though? He didn't really need to be. He was hurt by Murdoc's actions and he was justified in saying so. He nuzzled his face into his chest.

Stuart held him closely and tightly. He kissed his face and hair multiple times silently. He rubbed his back and placed his both legs again over his. He was really happy and would do anything in his power to keep Murdoc well after the "sacrifice" he made him. Even if he had to stay all night awake.

Now he knew how much power he had over the Satanist. "T-thank you...." He squeezed him "I love you...." he whispered.

Murdoc kept his face into Stuart's chest. He swallowed and replied back, muffled. "I love you too....... obviously......" he said. He was still sort of pouting and embarrassed. He hugged Stuart tighter.

Just then, Vanessa came back and saw the interaction. She made no noises but looked at Stuart and mouthed the words, 'Is he okay?" The baby was sucking on a pacifier, silent and watching the scene as well. Vanessa didn't want to come back if they were having some sort of moment.

Stuart moved his hands to the sides in a "more or less" movement mouthing the words. He waved to Vance smiling. He looked adorable with his paci.

He wouldn't mind if they came back at all. He knew they wouldn’t disturb them. Maybe the baby would be a good distraction for Murdoc without booze.

 He kissed his head again holding him protectively. He didn't know when Murdoc would calm down or start to feel better. "Wanna talk to me about it, Muds?" He whispered to Murdoc lowly.

Murdoc shook his head like a child. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to say he fucked up. How to admit that. He wanted the ground to swallow him up instead, but he knew that wouldn't happen.

Vanessa nodded to Stuart answer and sat down in her seat. She bounced the baby on her knee as he babbled and drooled with the pacifier in his mouth. She had some toys for him to rattle around and play with.

Murdoc heard the baby and decided there was only room for one child here. He sat up a bit, his hands still around Stuart, but a little looser. He kept his face down, his eyes covering his fringe, too embarrassed to even look at Stuart. "Sorry...." he whispered again and swallowed.

Stuart kept him close when he shook his head a bit sad he didn’t want to talk. He wasn’t expecting Murdoc telling him he was wrong. Actually he just wanted to make him more comfortable with him talking about what happened.

Stuart was looking at the baby when Murdoc decided to talk. he looked to him fondly noticing how embarrassed he was. he placed a hand on his cheek and lifted his face a bit so he could look at him. he leaned closer him and kissed him. sometimes Murdoc was a big child too.

"Don't need to be sorry Muds.... what you did was really touching...... Thank you. I'm here to suppress alcohol okay? So use me for comfort when you need." he rubbed his nose against his. "We sill have many hours of flight so we better stay cool and enjoy together.... right love?" he whispered to him back brushing some strands from his face "God you're so beautiful...... Vanessa asked me if we use a lotion or something to keep ourselves looking so young when I mentioned our ages......" he chuckled and kissed his forehead running his fingers through his thick black hair lovingly.

Murdoc nodded, unsure of what to say. Was nervousness a good enough excuse to drink like he did? Then Stuart called him beautiful and he blushed slightly, but enjoyed the feeling of his finger sunning through his hair.

"I'm just.... nervous...." he whispered. "I don't like my little panic attacks I'm having...." he looked Stuart in the eyes. He felt weak when he had one of those attacks. "The alcohol numbed it...." he said. Vanessa felt bad for the guy as she listened to him.

Just then, some turbulence hit and Murdoc grabbed onto Stuart's arms tightly. He clamped his eyes shut and swore heavily in his head. He was starting to breathe harder and clenched his teeth. He cursed himself for not keeping the alcohol.

Stuart felt his heart broke. He felt sorry for Murdoc. For a moment he didn’t know if he was able to comfort Murdoc during his multiple panic crisis in a long trip. He swallowed hard and held him close. Again placing him on his lap carefully and holding him close. When they come back home he would allow Murdoc to keep his alcohol.

He hoped he could numb it too without alcohol. He decided to give him full attention now and leave Vanessa for a while. He glanced her quickly with a apologetical look. He hugged Murdoc for his life and kept kissing him every now and them. He felt bad at him that nervous. He kept caressing his hair and whispering sweet nothings to him rubbing his back.

After some moments he grabbed his cellphone and texted a quick message to show Vanessa. "Can you ask the flight attendants if they sell anything alcoholic here? Anything besides beer. I'm having some trouble with Muds here.... please and thank you...." he showed her the message and put the previous photo of Murdoc and the baby as his screensaver. He immediately regretted telling Murdoc he hated him drinking. He hated much more him in panic.

Vanessa saw the message and nodded. She got up with Vance and went to go find a flight attendant. They could have some emergency Xanax or something too maybe? Or maybe she could and someone that did. She'd find something.

Murdoc held on to Stuart, "Christ......" he hissed through clenched teeth. He hated himself more than anything in that moment. He should be fine. He should be able to ride a simple plane and bloody deal with it.

He was working to control his breathing and shaking. He focused on Stuart and his voice, holding onto him tightly. He knew this was going to be a long flight. He didn't even know how much longer they had. He cursed himself for choosing a place so far away. His heart was racing and it felt like it was going to explode. He clutched his chest for a minute, trying to focus on calming it down.

"Bloody ridiculous......" he growled. Just then Vanessa came back a few mini bottles of alcohol and a few Xanax she managed to scrounge up from some kind passengers. She showed Stuart, not wanting to interrupt.

Stuart was really nervous at this time. He wasn’t enough to calm him down he could tell.... this made him frustrated and sad with himself. But now he had to focus in helping Murdoc undoing what he did wrong. But he swallowed all the bad feelings down. He wouldn’t bear Murdoc breaking in front of him.

He looked at Vanessa and mouthed, "Thank you so much" with a caring smile. He looked at Xanax and swallowed. He wouldn’t offer Murdoc that with alcohol. It would be really dangerous especially in a plane. He put the Xanax into his pocket and would use himself if he needed it. He didn’t drink. But at this time he thought he couldn’t sleep and leave Murdoc alone.

He grabbed the bottles, wasn’t much but should help Murdoc by now. He put the others inside the bag in the front seat and offered him one. "Take it, Muds.... I'm really sorry." he whispered to him. And kissed his forehead smiling warmly. He hated that, but he would learn how to deal with it. "H-hope it helps...."

Murdoc was finally started to feel a little calmer he leaned his head against Stuart's shoulder taking a moment to collect himself as he came down from his panic attack. He became more aware of his surroundings and heard Vanessa came back.

Suddenly, Stuart offered him the alcohol, kissing his forehead. Murdoc looked at the alcohol bottle and listened to Stuart. He frowned and pursed his lips. He pushed Stuart's hand away.

"No...... I don't want it. I'm fine now." He said a little shakily. He'd love nothing more than that bottle right now, but Stuart's words kept playing in his head. He felt embarrassed each time. He dug his head into Stuart's neck instead and wrapped his arms completely around him, hugging tightly.

Stuart sighed but wouldn't argue. if he said he was fine he was fine...... he placed it in the front bag and looked through the window again. He was feeling sad with himself but he wouldn’t say a thing. He just held Murdoc close and kissed his head again silently placing him comfortably on his lap. Anyway, if Murdoc needed they had the bottles for now. He rubbed his arm gently, still really angry with himself and frustrated. He felt stupid for asking the lady. He felt guilty.

He looked at Vanessa and smiled a bit. She was really kind looking for those bottles for him. He just hoped Murdoc wasn’t doing that just to make him happy. He rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb.

Vanessa smiled sympathetically at him. She knew it was difficult to see the one you love having problems and you're unable to fix it. That’s exactly what having a baby was all about. She bounced Vance up and down on her knee playfully.

"I'm going to do it without alcohol.... because you're right......" he said looking at Stuart. "Just.... I dunno.... talk to me or something." He whispered, looking at at Stuart and bringing his chin down for a kiss. "Please?" He whispered a little desperately.

He was so embarrassed, he felt like a child. He was so happy most everyone was still asleep or not paying attention. He just laid his head on his shoulder and played with Stuart's long bony fingers.

Stuart offered him his fingers to play.... he didn’t know what to do so he opted to stay silent. He always thought he spoke to much and made Murdoc angry. Once Murdoc talked to him, he felt his heart breaking again. He had to think quick. He didn’t care if he was right... But Murdoc was begging him for help. He wouldn’t tell him no and would try his best.

he kissed him passionately and looked into his eyes. His tone of voice was needy and desperate.... it made him even sadder. He nodded to him and kissed his nose with a smile. "When.... when did you learn to play bass, Muds....?" he whispered the first thing that came to his mind.

Maybe playing twenty questions was a nice thing for now. He run his fingers through his hair and looked to him fondly. "When you discover it was your instrument, my love...?" he asked just like Murdoc did when he asked him about singing.

He caressed his face. Actually he wanted to know when he could afford to buy a bass. he pulled the blanked over both man so Murdoc could feel safer and comfortable. When they first argued Murdoc curled himself into a blanked to feel better. He remembered  it.

Murdoc snorted a little at the question. He couldn't think of a time anyone had really asked him that. He thought about his answer as he continued to play with his singer’s hands.

"I wanted to play bass since I could remember.... I saved up and bought my first one when I was.... 16.... I think." He tried to remember, it was so long ago. "Got some old piece of shit beat up one from a pawn shop, but it was my first bass and it was good enough, you know?" He chuckled.

"My dad stole that one and sold it, of course, so I waited till I was out of that house before I got another. It was a little better. I saved up all my money to get it. Used that for a little bit then made that deal with Satan, so I sold that old one. EL Diablo sounds like a dream." He chuckled. He was forgetting all about the plane as he went back to the past.

"I always liked the rocking bass sounds of all those old rock and metal songs. I always wanted to be a part of that. Even without the rock or metal I think we've made some pretty iconic bass lines, yeah?" He said, looking up at 2D. He felt like a damned fool snuggling under a blanket as a grown man with another grown man. He'd normally never even consider doing anything like that in public.... ever. But, well, he was a little desperate with his mini panic episodes. He did like being close with the singer. His singer. His fiancée. It was helping.

Stuart listened his explanation smiling. He was happy he seemed to be forgetting about his panic and nervousness. he nodded in the right times and kept caressing his hair and face looking into his eyes, giving him full attention and keeping the blanked over him. He took a quick glance to Vanessa and she was doing just the same with the baby to calm him down. Murdoc hopefully couldn’t see where he was looking at due his lack of pupils. He would try to comfort him even more. He would even not sleep that night to keep Murdoc well.

"Yeah you do...." he agreed with him enjoying hearing the story. "Even not in a rock or metal band, Muds.... you have to agree that our bass lines are really good.... especially the ones Noodle made for this last album...." maybe talking about music would make him feel better. "i think we make our music pretty well without all that bla bla bla commercial that others do...... I think we're pretty original in our ideas... That’s why people should like us...." he kissed his lips quickly to avoid new fears cupping his face and smiled.

"you never talked to me about your previous bands, Muds.... did they were all that horrible? Have you ever made any show? at least one of them...." he couldn’t believe all of the bands he tried making were all failures, something must have worked at least, or Murdoc would have given up his dream

"I mean.... you hated going on stage cuz of other people's orders.... so with your own band you should have had the sensation to be the boss.... right? When did this dream of having a band started? tell me everything, Love...." he whispered and looked into his eyes. He had to try to make Murdoc think about music and his good past.... maybe this way he would focus in another thing feeling nostalgic and would forget about the plane and alcohol.

Murdoc chuckled at the questions. He liked the attention, he wouldn't lie. He even cuddled ito the singer more and still held and played with his hands.

"Yeah.... I taught myself. I think I stole a few music books from the record store to learn a bit. I know when I plucked those first strings, I was in love. And yeah, I think we're really original. That's what’s so awesome about us." He smiled proudly.

He thought about his previous bands. "They were all shit. I don't sing for a reason, Stu. I sang for all those and played bass and learned after, like, my tenth band that it wouldn't work. Plus my bands mates were usually pretty scummy anyways." He shrugged a bit.

"I knew, though, that I wanted a band when I heard Lynyrd Skynyrd live. The crowds, the screaming, the fame. I knew I loved music but I never thought hard about being in a band. It seemed impossible at the time. I had no money, no friends, and only my good looks and smarts. I only had half the pieces. It takes all the pieces to make it work.... but I kept trying. And it paid off." He smiled up at Stuart.

He leaned up and kissed him sweetly, but passionately. Then he pulled away and looked at him. "When I saw you stand up in the car park I knew you were my front man. I knew that’s what was needed. You were the second piece to my puzzle and the rest just sort of.... fell together, you know?" He smiled at Stuart. "Tall, skinny, blue spiky hair and black eyes. I knew people would go nuts over you. I went nuts for you too." He laughed.

Stuart noticed the mood lifting a bit. Good it was working at least. He liked Murdoc relaxed playing with his fingers. He nodded to his explanations. Murdoc was really clever he could see.

His eyes widened, ten bands? And he didn’t give up? Wow.... Stuart would have given in the second. At least with Gorillaz it wasn’t that hard. They only had to change the name from Gorrila to Gorillaz and find another guitarist. Paula was pretty scummy anyways.

"Lynyrd? Oh that's nice.... I think I've never been to a show before I...... well took part in my own band shows" he chuckled he couldn’t remember any occasion he had gone to a show before. well it was nice, the first time in a show you'll be on the stage and not in the crowd.

He blushed with that kiss and with  his words. even scared Murdoc was so sweet. he fondly smiled and caressed his face. "Thank you my love… I think we should go to a show anytime huh? one not ours.... You can pick the band, how that sounds? I'd love to kiss you in the crowd." he said blushing even more. It would be nice stay on the other side at least once

"Have you ever wondered or wrote a song about yourself....? Like something dedicated from you to you..." he chuckled "I dunno, to celebrate you made it after so many failed bands or to feed your big ego.... something that is almost only bass.... or more rock like you enjoy.... we can always change what we create huh?" he started to think about other songs, maybe a single or a new album.

Murdoc smiled, "I'd love to go to a show with you Stu." He thought about what band they'd go see. Most of his favorite classic rock bands aren't even around anymore or if they are, they're old as dirt now. A slayer concert would be fun.... mostly just to see Stuart have to mix with that kind of crowd. He chuckled to himself. The boy would definitely be out of his element.

Murdoc felt a little turbulence and that feeling of being dropped filled his stomach. He stiffened and held onto Stuart's fingers a little tighter trying not to focus on it. He closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed.  He could feel his breath quickening and he started to shake slightly. He quickly looked back down at Stuart's fingers, trying to calm himself. He thought about what Stuart had asked him.

"Uh y-yeah.... yeah." He tried to continue. "I, um, I have written a song like that actually." He chuckled. "I didn't think any of you would be willing to play it." It was a self-indulgent request of a song and he knew it would be shot down in a heartbeat.

Stuart smiled. He could imagine him already using one of his black shirts going to a metal show. He giggled, wasn’t a place he ever wondered going to. But would be a pleasure joining Murdoc in one show. Who knows after they  could go together in a show of a band which Stuart liked huh? Maybe have some ideas for their own shows....

Stuart noticed him about to panic and again he held him close and let him squeeze his fingers. He thought that maybe if he could give Murdoc something to play would be easier. He looked at Vance and he was chewing something to calm down. He pressed his face against his chest so he could hear his heartbeat and know Stuart was there with him. He kissed his face again and told him he loved him to calm him down. He hoped those turbulences stopped soon. He placed the blanket over him more tight, protecting Murdoc from everything.

"Oh you did...?" he said softly once the plane stopped moving. "Can you tell me more about it, my love?" he whispered to him and run his fingers through his hair looking into his eyes. "I’d love to know what’s it like...." he smiled fondly.

Murdoc steadied his breathing, clenching his teeth, embarrassed again. He hated having to be consoled like a child. He licked his lips and tried to take a deep breath. He focused on Stuart's heartbeat and his sweet kisses.

When he felt better, he nodded and continued, "Y-yeah.... uh...." he tried to laugh nervously. "It’s.... um.... Murdoc is God cause, well, you know...." he didn't feel like a god right now. He was completely ruining the presentation of it. He tried to continue.

"Um.... actually, I also have a few others that i thought might work for this album, but since it's already out.... I suppose they'd have to go on a sides album, like we did for our first one. I think Noodle had quite a few demo songs we could finish to put on it, but I had one that would work for our reject false icons campaign, you know? And uh.... you just gave me an idea on how to finish it actually ...." he thought back to what Stuart had just mentioned earlier.

Stuart would in another situation frown and mock him with this title finding it egocentric and ridiculous. But he couldn't. Murdoc was far too vulnerable right now. It wasn’t fair and he wasn’t drinking. That was a huge improvement. Even looking nothing like a god apparently. However, that was the nice point his god allowed him to take care of him when he needed. It made Stuart feel special and capable. That was an action on a god really.

He remembered the campaign. They would have to make a video for that too. All happened so fast Stuart's broken brain forgot about that. "Oh I did....?" He smiled "hope you finish it soon love.... In addition, about Murdoc is God.... It's your style of song writhing something like that.... I would totally record it, I dunno about the other 2." he chuckled.

 He wanted so bad to joke about him being a god now.... But he wouldn't dare. Murdoc was doing so well. "And yeah I think we can work in the campaign and a side album once we're back home right....? I want to help you.... and maybe help Noodle too." He said softly looking into his eyes. He kissed his nose. He was adorable in panic. "Maybe we can have some inspiration doing the trip right?" He tried to sound positive.

Murdoc smiled at the thought of him singing his song. He knew Stuart would do a great job with it. It would be interesting trying to convince the other two to play it as well. Maybe Stuart could convince them.

Murdoc nodded. The trip.... Jamaica.... he needed to remember those pictures so he couls remember this awful plane ride would be worth it. See Stuart there would be worth it.

"If you had told me back when I bought my first bass that I'd be here now, I wouldn't have believed you. Not for a million dollars. So much has happened that I wouldn't believe...." he looked at Stuart's hand and imagined his ring there. He imagined it on his own hand too. He was excited to see them there. He looked back up at Stuart.

"Did you ever imagine you'd be here? When you were, I dunno, in high school? Living this kind of life?" He asked.

Stuart snorted looking at their hands. He was imagining the rings there too.

"No, love.... I imagined I'd keep working in that instruments shop.... And who knows one of the girls that went there I would fall in love.... or maybe a pretty lad...." he chuckled and interlaced his fingers with his. "Getting married, having kids.... But live with a minimum salary and.... not afford to buy duck for a meal...." he chuckled again. "Maybe keep singing in the church choir...... And play keyboard for fun...." he lifted his hand and kissed it.

 "In high school I was more worried about wank and drawing than anything really.... I didn't think about the future that time, Muds...." he looked at him fondly. Stuart never had to fight for anything in his life. All came easy.... he learned with Murdoc to fight. To be persistent. To be strong. With his example.

 "You gave me all that Muds.... fame, money, prestige...... the opportunity to do something I love and I'm good in it.... to live. This is priceless." He whispered. " This plus having you are the reasons why I smile everyday.... you changed my life in an amazing way...... something that i never wondered could deserve...." he kissed his forehead again.

"Even if we loose everything.... the band, fame money...... I'd still fight to have you...... All the other things I can lose and survive Muds. Without you I can't." He said honestly.  He just hoped Murdoc felt the same.... cuz he fought really hard to achieve his dream. He might not like this possibility

He looked a bit more serious "There was a time, Muds.... I only lived waiting for death. You know I tried to off myself.... And I deeply regret I did that....  I would never have met you... And a life without you....? I can't imagine anymore...." he smiled buzzing his face on the Satanists hand

Murdoc frowned when he reminded him how he had tried to kill himself. He hated thinking about that. A life without Stuart was...... unimaginable. He wouldn't be able to stand it.

He cupped Stuart's face and pulled him down  for a kiss. He kissed him deeply and put his forehead against his. "I wouldn't want to live in a world without you, Stuart Pot. I'd fight for you any day...... I'd KILL for you...... I'd die for you too. Understand?" he whispered and looked straight into his eyes.

After a bit, he chuckled. He lowered his voice so only Stuart could hear him. "I can't imagine you married and singing in a choir. How sexy would that have been to have us meet later, you the church choir singer and me the old, rocking Satanist." He smiled slyly. He liked the idea of turning Stuart into a sinner. He laughed at the idea. He did sort of corrupt the poor boy anyways. But Stuart didn't see it that way. He saw it for the better. He was an optimistic one anyways, something Murdoc never appreciated till recently.

His kissed him back passionately. He loved how Murdoc was a little less tense now. He nodded to what he said looking into his eyes. He was really his guardian angel.

"I can't imagine you going into a church and not instantly burning once you step into it love...." he lowered his voice and chuckled.

"But I wouldn't invite you to see a rehearsal... would you ask me out on a date?."  he purred. "I think you'd make me finish my marriage to escape with you to Jamaica...... or Mexico......" he run his fingers through his hair slowly.

"I would have picked you married or not.... I would fell for your charm huh? a young Christian lad waiting for the marriage virgin to shag...... never learning nothing about BDSM...." he chuckled even more.

Murdoc laughed when he said he'd combust. "Yeah you're probably right actually. I would...... but I'd still go in if it meant seeing you, even if for a brief moment." He winked at Stuart.

Murdoc thought for a moment. "I think I would run into you somehow...... see you somewhere, hearing you sing and I just wouldn't be able to get over it, you know? I'd follow you and try to see you at the church. I wouldn't go in, but I think you'd catch me watching you. You'd be kind to me. I'd fall in love...." he got close again so only Stuart could hear.

"Then I'd fuck you in one of the pews." He chuckled into his ear. "Then I'd steal you away from whoever you were with. You'd be mine." He growled seductively. "We'd run away...... just you and I...." he smiled, pulling back a bit to look at him. He liked that idea. Running away. With just him. He loved the lifestyle but sometimes the thought of just the two of them sounded.... wonderful. He kissed his chin a few times.

"OH you'd run into me....?" He chuckled thinking he would get run over again "so you'd be a stalker huh? My parents wouldn’t allow that..." He laughed even more. "This sound like those Disney movies.... I'm the princess in the highest tower of Jesus' home and you came blindly in love in your.... I dunno.... demon with wings to rescue me...." he laughed and snorted with his ridiculous laugh. "You could appeared disguised as a priest...."

He nodded to the possibilities he gave him. "Lucky you, you didn't need to steal me away from no one huh? You were my first.... you didn't even had to ask for me to stay with you...." he chuckled "and that was the best choice I could have made......" he whispered and nuzzled his nose against his kissing his lips again. "Thanks for making me a sinner...." he whispered. He grabbed his hand and kissed it multiple times laughing and hugging him tight.

Murdoc laughed, "I think I'd steal you away from anyone in any storyline we can imagine." He pet his hair and looked into his eyes. "I'd fight for you any day. I don't care who it is...." he whispered. He never thought he'd want to be so intimate on a plane, but he was so in love. This was such a euphoric feeling....

"I like to imagine that we'd always find each other, yeah? I think it's kind if meant to be...." he could kick himself in the ass for talking in such a corny way. He would have kicked his own ass only a year ago. He thought about Stuart a lot in jail but.... he wasn't aware of the feelings he possibly had. He wished he had.

He was lost in his thoughts looking at Stuart  until he heard people stirring. He suddenly realized it was early morning and Stuart hadn't really slept yet, had he? "Stuart.... have you slept yet? Why don't you trade spots with me?" He asked. He felt bad. Stuart looked a little tired.

Stuart nodded. He agreed with Murdoc and was really happy they thought the same. Plus he talking those cliché things was so cute.

 He really didn't notice it was day already. He bit his lip "No.... I didn't. Just a little till you woke up. I wanted to make sure you were all right... I’m sorry." he mumbled lowly embarrassed. At least Murdoc made it through the night.

"I just need to use he loo and stretch a bit if you don't mind." He wanted to do that since last night. He grabbed the blanket folding it and storing it under the seat.

He talked to Vanessa "Can you please excuse me? I need to go to the bathroom...." he looked at Vance "good morning little boy...." he said softly. Even tired and aching he never stopped smiling.

Vanessa stood up with the baby quickly. She had been trying to ignore them and give them their privacy for the most part but she did hear some of it. She thought they were adorable. She had also thought it'd been sweet that he'd comforted Murdoc.

After she stood up and Stuart walked by she put a hand on his arm and whispered, "Do you have anything to help you sleep. You really should take something...."

Murdoc watched Stuart get up and Vanessa whisper to him. He wasn't worried, just curious. Vance was staring at him as she held him on her hip. He drooled and smiles at him. Murdoc stuck his tongue out at the kid, which only seemed to amuse the baby.

After Stuart left Murdoc quickly stole his spot against the window and grabbed the blanket and pillows. He situated himself so when Stuart came back, he could lean up against Murdoc and sleep.

Vanessa watched him and smiled wide. She giggled. "You two are so cute. You're very sweet on him and I can tell you he really loves that." She laughed as Murdoc just blushed and looked down at the blanket he was holding.

"Y-yeah...." Murdoc whispered. He was embarrassed. He had forgotten people were around for their little moment. Vanessa just giggled.

Stuart heard her question. Did he really needed something to sleep? He had those Xanax in his pocket but.... would he use it? No he wouldn’t do that.... Murdoc stopped drinking so he would just take his regular pills. He wasn't in panic at all and if he got lethargic he wouldn't be able to help Murdoc.

He went to the bathroom. Peed.... washed his face and looked at himself in the mirror. He was terrible. An exhausted mess. But he was happy. He helped his fiancée. He just hoped Murdoc could be able to stay the rest of the trip dealing with his panic attacks while he slept.

He took some of his painkillers and went back to the seat. He walked past Vanessa and sat down with a smile. He looked at Murdoc with the blanket and pillow "are those for me love....?" He asked lowly now really noticing how tired he really was.

Murdoc smiled and nodded. He reached for the singer and pulled him back so he would rest against Murdoc. He put the pillow up behind Stuart's head and had him rest it against his shoulder. Murdoc then wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, kissing his head.

He leaned his head against his and whispered, "Sleep.... I need you to have your strength when we get there." Nuzzled his face into his hair and kissed him. A hand came up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Sleep and we'll be there before you know it...."

Stuart purred happily on him. He took the pillow off ready to hug it and be even closer the Satanist. He nuzzled his face against his chest and nodded to his asking. He was tall so he wanted to be as comfortable as Murdoc was laying on him. "If you need anything please wake me up...." he said seriously.

He looked up one last time and looked into his eyes "do you love me, Muds....?" He whispered childishly. He grabbed his hand holding it tightly and waiting for his answer.

Murdoc chuckled and looked back at him with a sweet smile, "I love you.... so much more than I can describe my love...." he whispered. He kissed his forehead and pet his hair. "I love you more than life itself...."

He looked up and saw Vanessa smiling widely at her baby. But she reacted to each time he spoke. He blushed hard but smiled. He was kind of glad someone else got to witness it. He didn't do it in public often, and if he did it was for people he didn't know a damn thing about. He loved the kid though.... he didn't care who knew it.

Stuart smiled and bit his lip hard. His face was as red as the Satanist's "I-I love you too...." he stuttered and kissed his lips one last time amazed by how honest he sounded. "Good night Muds...." he tried to joke. And hoped he really looked for him if he panicked.

He shifted to a comfortable position still holding his hand. And kept some time looking at the baby and waving for him. Soon he closed his eyes and fell asleep. Holding his hand tightly against his chest.

Murdoc kissed his head and continued to nuzzle him as he fell asleep. As the singer slept he just held onto him and tried to make sure he stayed asleep. He didn't really chat with Vanessa like Stuart did. He was more afraid of waking him up. He did watch them a bit though. That baby was cute. He would admit that. He'd look at Murdoc once in a while and giggle. Murdoc would smile back slightly.

Every time they hit turbulence, he tried to stay still. He kept from squeezing him, and just buried his face into the singer’s hair, taking deep calming breaths as he did. Stuart smelled so.... calming. He smelled like peppermint and caramel. He could smell him all day. It was truly relaxing and helped him a lot. He even dozed a few times

He knew they were getting close. He could see the stewardess telling people to put their seatbelts on and everything in it's upright positions. He brushed the singer’s hair back and kissed him. "Love......." he whispered.


	50. Jamaica

Stuart slept really well considering it was day and he was a bit too tall to where he was. his legs to be comfortable needed to be on Vanessa's lap but he wouldn’t do that.

He heard some sounds and felt Murdoc tensing a couple of times, together with Vance laughing. He instinctively held his hand when he tensed. Sometimes he wasn’t really sleeping. He mumbled and snorted while sleeping.

Then finally he heard his voice together with the metallic ones telling them to fasten the seatbelts. The singer opened his eyes slowly and looked around. "Oh, morning Muds...." he said with his usual smile sitting down and fastening his seatbelt. "Are we here already....? God I slept a lot, didn’t I?" he chuckled and held his hand. He placed Murdoc's chair in the upright position ready for his panic while the plane would land.

"Thanks for letting me sleep on you love...." he whispered and kissed his cheek. He turned to Vanessa quickly and smiled to her and the baby. He was really a good baby all travel.

Murdoc nodded and smiled when he kissed his cheek. "Yeah, of course love." He said, trying to prepare himself and his area for the landing. He didn't dare look out the window, he didn't care how much people were chattering about how beautiful it looked. He already knew that, ir was getting there alive that mattered to him.

He sort of hunched over in his seat and swallowed. He tried to control his breathing again as he felt his chest tightening from panic. He didn't have his face full of Stuart's hair so he had to try to make due.

While Murdoc was beginning to panic, Vanessa held her phone closer to Stuart for him to read. It said, "I took some pictures of you two sleeping together, can I send them to you? I thought you might want them." She then clicked to her photos and had one of them snuggled together. Murdoc's face buried into Stuart's hair, partially asleep, while Stuart slept. She thought they looked cute and thought the taller man would appreciate the pictures.

Stuart noticed that he was nervous and closed the window. He didn’t care if it was beautiful, he wanted Murdoc well for the landing. He looked at him fondly and held his hand.

He looked at Vanessa and his eyes shone "Yes, please" he said excitedly. "I'll send you my number in one moment Vanessa...... Thank you so much. You're a really lovely shipper." he looked at Murdoc as he was saying he had to take care of him. He said knowing Murdoc wouldn’t even hear.

He again wrapped an arm around him and kissed him passionately. He placed his face against his chest "focus in me okay? I'm right here." he whispered and kissed his head a couple of times. "Just one more Muds.... You can do it." he said encouragingly. He had gone well the whole trip, it was the last. "I love you." he knew he couldn’t hear but it was okay.

Vanessa nodded and smiled. "I appreciate you boys letting me sleep." She chuckled as she looked down at Vance and stroked his cheek. She made sure all of her things were packed up and ready to go.

Murdoc was breathing harder, trying not to be so loud. This was so embarrassing; he didn't want to draw attention from more people. He felt Stuart put an arm around him then kissing him. He hadn't expected that.

When he put his head on his chest, he pressed into Stuart, trying to focus. He grabbed Stuart's other hand with a shaky one of his own. "Just once more......" he repeated to himself over and over. He could feel the plane descending more towards the runway.

When it did land, he had never felt so much relief. He relaxed a bit in Stuart's touch. He didn't lift his head up till they came to a complete stop, however.

Stuart just looked to the closed window trying to focus on that. He wanted to see the beautiful landscape that was on the other side. But he couldn’t let Murdoc down. He waited patiently the plane stop completely and lifted his head once again kissing his forehead "See? You made it......" he whispered lovingly. "Welcome to Jamaica, love...." he hugged him tightly. "Are you okay?" he said softly and caressed his face.

He looked at Vanessa and Vance was totally at peace. That baby was really a blessing. He just waited Murdoc be okay so he could talk to her.

Murdoc sat up and sat back in his seat, looking up at the ceiling. He was breathing hard but it was beginning to calm, as was his shaking. "Thank Satan...." he whispered. He looked over at Stuart and laughed. "See....  I told you I could do it.... just give me a moment so I can be ready to see your face when we get off this plane...." he closed his eyes, a giant smile on his face. He was so happy the plane ride was over.

Vanessa smiled at the two. "It was nice meeting you two here. You're an adorable couple and I wish you two the best of luck in the future! And, congratulations on your engagement by the way. I'm honored to have been one of the few told so far." She chuckled and Vance gave a shriek of joy, making Murdoc flinch, startled.

"Bloody hell, that kid's got a set of lungs......" he growled. He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. People were starting to file out of the plane, it'd be their turn soon. He was excited.

Stuart laughed while giving her his number to receive the photos. "We thank you Vanessa. We hope your life gets really better with your baby and that you find the love of your life soon...." he looked at Vance "hope I can see you when you're older huh?" He poked his nose while laughing about Murdoc scared of his yells. He would talk to Murdoc about calling her to the wedding.

"Here's my number you may call us for help or just to say hi, thank you for the photos.... I'll add them to my collection" he winked to her than turned back to Murdoc. "Calmer Now love?" He whispered to him placing all the bottles inside his backpack and getting ready to leave the plane when it is their turn. He kissed his cheek and put the Xanax into the backpack too.

He grabbed his cellphone and put one of her pictures as screensaver and another as a wallpaper. It was stupid but he liked being able to put his fiancée is something personal as his mobile. He would shoe Murdoc the photos but he thought he wouldn’t be interested. Stuart treasured them.

After exchanging goodbyes with the boys, she left with Vance to go meet her parents waiting for her. She was happy to have made some friends and hoped they'd make it as a couple. She definitely planned on calling someday.

Murdoc watched her leave with the baby. They hadn't been a bad pair of people to sit by at least. He looked at Stuart. "Yeah, I'm good now. Let’s get off the blasted death trap, yeah?" He said, standing up and stretching, some of his joints popping away the stiffness.

He was a little jittery, excited to see the place. They'd have a driver that was going to take them to their private little beach house. Nearby was a little shopping area for supplies and then there was a city a little farther down if they wanted to party. He liked the idea of going dancing with Stuart. They grabbed their bags and started heading out. They were the last two to be leaving. Murdoc grabbed the singer’s hand and squeezed it gently.

"You excited?" Murdoc asked. He at least hoped he was. He'd tried to plan everything out carefully with the agent in the short amount of time. It was expensive but the royalty checks were coming in for the album so it wasn't a problem.

Stuart followed him outside. He nodded frantically "Of course I am.... after so many hours I couldn’t wait more" he said happily after stretching himself. "What did you plan for us today, love?" he asked while they walked outta the plane. He looked around noticing how different it was from grey and rainy London. "I guess it was worth the wait right?" he chuckled and kissed his cheek.

He knew Murdoc should have planned everything with care. He felt special all the time. And yeah the travel was much easier than he thought it would be. He wanted to get into the water as soon as possible. And he hoped the place he booked was as a dream as Murdoc sounded.

Murdoc was grinning wide. The place was warm, sunny, smelled like the ocean, and put him in the best mood. It made that hellish plane ride worth it. They walked from the plane into the airport, where a man with a sign that said "Niccals" was waiting for them.

"There he is.... Come on Stu, he's gonna take us to where we're staying! It's about a mile out of town along the beach. We'll get to see some of the area on the way." He grabbed his hand as they greeted the man who was going to drive them. He led them to the car and they put all their stuff in the trunk and got in.

He held Stuart's hand as they drove and watched the little city go by. It was kind of touristy but it was still cute and rustic. It was bustling with people. You could see the beautiful blue ocean in the background. Murdoc couldn't wait to get in the warm water with Stu.

Stuart was looking around like a tourist, with shining and curious eyes and the mouth hanging opened. It was so.... tropical he could say. Once in the car he felt an odd yet good sensation in his belly from anxiety. He held Murdoc's hand tight and smiled to him.

Inside the car the found a paper. An informational paper about the island. "Look Muds...." he told him showing the paper. "Look at those Beaches...." he said in amusement.  "Where are we going to stay....?" he asked curiously. Walter Fletcher, Doctor´s Cave Bay, Hip Strip, he found this name a bit suggestive and blushed, Pier One.... Those were all names of beaches, one more beautiful than the last. All with waters as blue as his hair." Ha, look  love, there's a Bob Marley's Museum here.... “he pointed to where was written 'Bob Marley Experience & Theatre'. He didn’t know fi Murdoc was into Museums or reggae, but he was a legend for sure

 "And there's one named 'Laguna Luminosa' what does that mean Muds?" he didn’t know anything about Spanish but he knew Murdoc did. He loved when he spoke in Spanish, even if it was a little.... he looked at him. maybe while sex it could be a real turn on, but he wouldn’t dare to ask for something like that. He was too ashamed to ask for the man who's driving the car about those places so instead he decided to read about them.

Murdoc chuckled, glad to see the singer so excited.  "It's Laguna Luminosa because it has little microorganisms that glow a beautiful neon green and blue. Would you like to go swimming there? They have tours." He squeezed his hand. He imagined Stuart swimming in the neon and thought he'd look beautiful.

They drove a little ways out of the main part of the city, and on the road right next to the beaches. When they got a ways past the big resorts to more secluded areas, the driver pulled into a little private beach. It was separated from the road by a vast expansion of palm trees, making it a little more private.

After driving down the little road to the other side of the trees, it opened to a beautiful private beach. There weren't any houses nearby for miles and only a couple people walking by on the beach near the water, heading away. There was a little grey beach house that looked just big enough for the two of them. Murdoc knew how it looked inside. It had a nice little kitchen, a bedroom, a really nice bathroom, a living room and the outside had a very large and spacious patio deck with chairs and an umbrella already set up. There was a fire pit in the sad a ways down from there towards the water. The water itself was a gorgeous blue that rivaled Stuart's hair.  Murdoc smiled wide, happy it looked just like the pictures.

"Of course! I want to do everything I can with you!" He said giggling.

When they approached to the less crowded area Stuart felt that it should have costed a small fortune for Murdoc. It was really beautiful and totally desert. His heart was racing thinking he actually thought about everything to make him happy. He felt special.

He looked at Murdoc "You did all this? For me?" He bit his lip and his eyes almost watered while he spoke whispering. "This is gonna be the trip or our lives!" He said excitedly hoping no fan would find them there or anything. He didn't want to think about job or music or anything at all. He just wanted to relax with his fiancée. He remembered Vanessa and thought about how it was like to live in a place like that. It sounded amazing see the blue ocean everyday. Vance would be tanned in no time.

He looked at the house and the water. From where they were they could easily swim naked like Murdoc mentioned cuz no one would see them. Or even fuck on the sand. He blushed with his dirty thoughts. "Look is it really as blue as me hair Muds....?" He asked showing his head to him playfully to avoid his thoughts.

Murdoc just rolled his eyes and laughed. "Of course it is! Just look, love." He put his arm around Stuart and pulled him close, kissing his blue hair. Sometimes that kid asked the goofiest questions, but that's part of what he loved.

He got out, thanked the driver as they grabbed their bags, and walked to the beach house. Murdoc had to input a little code he was given and they were in. The inside of the place was a cute little place, exactly as described. It was more open, with the living room and kitchen right next to each other, then the bedroom was down a little hallway with the bathroom. It was sort of nautical themed, which Murdoc loved even more. He loved the ocean, but the UK didn't have beaches like this.

He put his bag down and turned to Stuart, with his arms held out. "So...... what do you think, love?" He smiled wide, hoping Stuart like it. He thought he'd like the cozy little house and beach all to themselves.

Stuart entered and let his arm go, looking around "Holy fuck Muds...." he said excitedly going from room to room. Touching and absorbing everything. "That's amazing.... You're really romantic.... I couldn't have thought about a better place to stay...." he grabbed his things going to the bedroom to drop it and jump on the bed. He knew he wasn't that clever to pick such an amazing place in so little time.

Once in the bedroom he opened the curtains that were blocking the windows so he could see the landscape better and opened the windows to smell the sea. It was gorgeous. The sun lighted the whole room and it was blue inside due to the ocean. "Muds love come here to see what you'll be seeing while we're shagging!" He yelled and laughed still jumping on the bed like a child. "At night the moon should look so close we can touch it, common my fiancée!" He yelled again.

Murdoc chuckled to himself, listening to the singer yelling excitedly and jumping up and down like a child. He walked in and laughed at the sight. He looked out the window, Stuart was definitely correct. It was a gorgeous view but Murdoc doubted he'd be looking out it much when shagging.

He looked at the singer, "You know, that bed could be doing so much more for us love." He teased. He was elated to see Stuart so happy. Even this was worth that hellish plane ride. He leaned up against the door frame and enjoyed all of the view.

"So.... I have a bunch of tours and things to do if you're interested in any of them. I was thinking we could hang out today to rest from the travels, but it is completely up to you love." He smiled at him and grabbed their bags and put them all to the corner to grab later. He flopped on the bed where Stuart wasn't jumping.

Once Stuart was tired he landed on the bed kneeling on it. He leaned closer Murdoc "well we still need to buy your swim trunks.... as you don't have any.... let's rest after the trip so and look around.... maybe some pictures, here is so beautiful Muds.... you picked the right place.... and it was worth after 24 hours flying...."

He wrapped his arms around him and kissed the back part of his neck. "I'm all yours Muds.... we can do anything here...." he  whispered into his ear, turned himself around and straddled on his lap looking at him "thank you so much for all that.... really. You make me so sure that I need to marry you...." he leaned closer and kissed him passionately. He missed this calm and happy Murdoc after so many hours with him in panic.

Murdoc finally felt himself fully relax as Stuart kissed him. He brought his hands up and placed them on either side of his face, using his thumbs to stroke his cheeks. He pulled away just a little and looked into his black orbs.

"You're definitely correct. I need swim trucks." He smiled, "and if you don't mind, I have a few places then that I'd like to take you over the next seven days, yeah? You're gonna love it." He kept stroking his cheeks as he brought him down for another quick kiss.

"I'm so happy you like it...." he whispered as he ran his hand through his hair. 'You were worth that hellish plane ride. I wouldn't do that for anyone else." He had the singer tilt his head up slightly as he kissed his jaw up to his ear, and then started on the other side.

Stuart beamed and blushed.... "Lucky me...." he knew he wouldn’t do it for no one else.... but hearing those words made him really happy. "Love, can I change my clothes to more comfortable ones before we leave....? It’s really hot and I need more sunblock or we're not gonna have more seven days." he chuckled playfully.

He looked into his eyes leaning into his touch. He felt so happy so safe.... he hugged him tightly. "You're so precious to me, Muds...." he whispered. "I could do anything for you, really...." he chuckled kissing his neck.

Murdoc nodded and slapped the singer’s ass, "Yeah, Yeah, we don't need your pale ass getting burnt. Change and we can go." He laughed and sat up, helping the singer off him. He was fine, he was in a pair of jeans and a black tee, he wasn't going to change till absolutely necessary. He couldn't remember the last time he wore shorts.

He got up and made his way outside, calling back, "I'll be outside! I'll call a taxi and have a smoke. Just come out when you're ready Stu." He grabbed a cigarette and lit it, taking in the scene around him as he slowly inhaled. This was one of the few rare moments he actually felt calm. It was nice. All the thoughts of what they could do together ran through his head. He knew this would be a trip of a lifetime. He just had to keep from fucking it up.

He looked around as he puffed on his cigarette. This was so much different from the UK. He thought even he might tan here. The warmth from the sun and the beautiful blue, clear waters made him want to sit there and stare all day.

Stuart yelped and frowned to that slap. He chuckled once he was standing up and nodded. He walked to his backpack once Murdoc was out and looked for some short shorts and a sleeveless shirt. He rubbed some sunblock on his arms, face, and put his sunglasses on. He smiled to him on the mirror and put on his flip-flops. He thought he was looking okay.

He walked out and thought that maybe Cortez would love that landscape. it was so beautiful.... he could look for some fishes to eat. "How do I look, babe?" he said doing a pose, white as snow in a place where everyone was tanned or dark skinned. he looked like a tourist trying to look nice, but he didn’t care. He leaned closer Murdoc with a smile. "Lead the way captain" he said grabbing his hand

Murdoc squeezed Stuarts hand and walked with him over to the taxi. "You look better since you got that slight tan from dirty hairy. Still a little pasty, yeah?" He teased and laughed. They got into the back of the taxi and Murdoc told the guy to take them into the city to shop.

After they were on their way, Murdoc leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. "You look good by the way." He said just loud enough for only Stuart to hear. He thought he looked cute. Touristy but cute. He held his hand as they drove back into town, enjoying the sites once more. The man drove them to a little walking mall with what looked like miles of shops, food places, or whatever was needed. The beach was just right on the other side of the road and everything was fairly busy. Not too bad, but still annoying.

They got out of the taxi after Murdoc paid the man and he looked at Stuart. "You ready to check these shops out? They have to have swim trunks somewhere for me, right?"

Stuart entered the taxi with him. Once inside he giggled and blushed to his compliment "Thank you love...." he whispered back.

Once they were out he looked around. It was crowded, a bit too much to Murdoc's taste he could tell. "Sure Muds.... I think we will find the perfect one" he winked to him. Be thought he would look nice in a black or a red one. "Did you find your flip flops?" He asked him while walking.

Murdoc held onto Stuart's hand tight. "Stay with me, yeah?" He said as they walked into the nearest shop that looked like it sold clothes. He didn't want them to spit up at all, if he lost Stuart, he'd get pissed.

As they walked in Murdoc noticed how all the clothes were incredibly touristy. He growled and rolled his eyes at all the idiots buying everything and wearing it. Then he remembered he was going to be doing that soon and frowned. He took a deep breath.

"Alright Bluebird. Here's the deal. Let’s try to find me something black yeah? None of this shit here." he said pointing to a pair of trunks that had blue ocean waves with yellow background and a surfboard. "Got it? I also need flip-flops apparently. Let’s get it and get out of the touristy hellhole yeah? I want to check out more authentic shops. And stay in the store." He said, letting go if Stuart's hand to search through all the swimwear.

Stuart nodded to him. Of course, he wouldn't let him alone anywhere.

Once inside the store Stuart knew it was gonna be difficult. "Black huh....?" He frowned. They all had stamps or were colorful.... "Why did you have to be a Goth in Jamaica Muds?" He joked looking around for clothes.

Soon he was looking through the clothes when he felt someone closer. He looked and there was a young blonde lad looking like a surfer of something near him. He was thin but had some muscles and his skin was tanned.

Stuart was holding some clothes he might think they fit Murdoc. A black a red a dark grey one and a dark blue. He was about to pick the dark green when he appeared. Stuart smiled to him as he was really cordial. "Oh.... hi .... can I help you?" He said with his girly voice.

"Of course handsome, you're not from here right....?" Stuart shook his head. "And you're really cute.... what's your name....?" He said clearly flirting. "Stuart" he said in a low tone feeling intimidated by that lad. He looked around for Murdoc to ask for help but he was a bit too far.

"Stuart beautiful name...." he purred taking a step further. "T-thank you...." he said taking a step back. "Are you alone...?" He shook his head again "I'm with my fiancée...." the guy looked around "who? I don't see anyone...." Stuart swallowed hard.

Murdoc sarcastically laughed and called back, "It's not Goth, it's bloody metal you wanker!" He continued looking through the clothes, glancing towards Stuart every now and then.

He was sorting through some flip-flops when he looked over and frowned. There was a tanned boy toy near his singer and he was closing in. Needless to say, he was beginning to get enraged.

He tightly gripped the flip-flops and walked to Stuart. Neither seemed to notice him coming up to them, since he did so rather calmly. He grabbed Stuart's arm as the guy began to get closer. He pulled him back behind him and got in the guy’s face.

"Hey, Bay Watch, fuck off. He's mine." He growled through clenched teeth, close enough to the man, he could smell the ocean on him.

The guy just laughed. He was taller than Murdoc and a bit intimidating "He said he is your fiancée... But I don't see any rings.... And you not closer to him.... not your name is written in him...." he said seriously to the green man. "You should take care of your.... property, old man." He teased.

Stuart felt hurt with his words and the tight grab Murdoc gave his arm. He knew he was angry and defending him from that guy. However, something in the way he spoke made him feel bad. He wanted to defend himself alone.

"Plus I don't think he would be interested in someone your age.... You're like what, 70?" He mocked him and shook his head "I can't believe this cutie is with a mummy.... You British are so stupid...." he looked at Stuart. He noticed by his accent. "You could do better..." he said seriously.

Stuart was getting scared he would put up a fight "Muds.... let him go okay....? We can go to another store...." he whispered and tried to hold him by his shoulder.

Murdoc became angrier and angrier as he the guy spoke. He had to look up at the guy, similar to how he did with Stuart. It made his stance a little less intimidating, but he tried to stand tall and look intimidating himself.

He let go of Stuart's arm but kept Stuart behind him in case this guy wanted to get a little physical. He wasn't going to let the guy talk to him or Stuart like that. He got closer to the guy, growling and pissed.

"Hey, arsehole." He hissed, "First of all, Stuart isn't my property, I don't have to do shit to show anyone else he's mine. He knows it and that's all that mattered. Second, fuck you, I'm 39 you piece of bloody jerky." He spat. He kept his glare on him, hoping this was working. This guy was definitely taller and Murdoc hadn't been in a fight in.... a while. He was shaking slightly from the adrenaline.

The guy laughed "Well I think you're lucky to have him with you.... cuz you're disgusting. And you" he pointed to Stuart that shivered "could do so much better. It's a shame you're with this green goblin." He smiled proud of himself as He was younger and better looking than Murdoc. He didn't care if Murdoc was angry. He should be in his early twenties. "Better watch your blueboy, elder. Here he will be hunted...." he said and turned around leaving the store.

Stuart froze in place holding the clothes he picked to Murdoc. He was about to cry and looked down mumbling a sorry.

Murdoc kept himself as tall as he could. He felt like he kind of won...... maybe? He huffed at the ridiculous statement of the guy, till he heard the singer mumble a sorry. Murdoc turned around quick and saw Stuart sheepishly holding the clothes he had and looking down while mumbling a sorry.

He pursed his lips and walked over to him, putting a hand on his arm. "Hey.... Stuart.... it's okay love. You're okay." He put a hand on his cheek and kissed him gently then put his forehead against his and looking straight into his eyes. "We're okay, yeah? Don't listen to that twat. Let’s enjoy our day, yeah?" He whispered. He hid his anger so as not to worry Stuart.

Stuart swallowed and looked at him. He nodded. "Sorry I was just doing my stuff when he came to me I swear.... I got scared. Thank you for saving me." he showed him the clothes "I-I could find you something.... Y-you wanna try....?" He shyly smiled to him. "I found some flat colors without any detail.... think you'll look good wearing them...." he blushed a little less scared.

Murdoc smiled and kissed him gently. "I'm sure I'll love them. Let’s just buy these and go, yeah?" He grabbed the clothes from Stuart and brought them to the front. He was still fuming! Afraid to let the singer out of his sight. That guys words kept echoing in his head.

After the clothes were bought, they walked to the next one. It was a small handmade art shop. They had tiny little things locals made they were actually very nice. He found a hand carved and sanded wood ring. It had a sea turtle carved into the top and hand painted. He liked it and had an idea.

He grabbed Stuart's hand gently and had him hold his hand out. He grabbed the ring and slid it on his ring finger. It looked like it fit perfectly. "What do you think?" He asked gently.

He looked closer to it noticing the details. It was really adorable. "It's really nice, Muds.... but I'm keeping this hand to you ring...." he laughed and looked at his hand thinking about the other ring. "But if you want me to use I can on the other hand.... we can both wear one...." he offered. He liked the idea of matching things with Murdoc, from any kind, didn’t need to be jewelry.

Murdoc looked up at him, "Well I know that. This is just so maybe people don't mess with you, yeah? I'll wear a matching necklace.... or would you prefer I did a ring instead?" He looked back at the case and noticed they had both, plus a few other items. He turned back to Stuart.

"This will just replace my rings until they get here." He smiled at him and hoped that was okay. He was sort of paranoid after that blonde kid. His comments on how old Murdoc looked and Stuart not being 'marked' properly by Murdoc really got under his skin. It's not like he was going to brand him or anything, and he still had his love bites on him...... Murdoc shook his head, pushing those thoughts away.

Stuart noticed by how he was speaking that what that asshole told him messed with Murdoc a bit. "I prefer a ring, love, necklace you already have your cross, and I really like it." he said softly.

He looked to the other rings and found one that would look pretty in Murdoc. It was made from a darker wood and it was a bit thicker than the one Stuart was wearing. He grabbed his hand and slipped it in his finger. "Think now people won’t mess with us...." he whispered and lifted his hand kissing his finger.

Stuart was a bit sad eventually. He knew he didn’t do anything wrong, he was just minding his own business. He didn’t know why people always came to him. Man or woman. "I'm sorry about what happened Muds.... I'll try to defend myself next time. “he said looking down to their hands "I don’t find you old or ugly and I'm only yours okay......? With or without rings... I just panicked." he confessed feeling weak. He looked at him trying to reassure Murdoc. He stood up for him and he knew how that guy got under his skin.

Murdoc watched as he put the ring on his finger. He liked it already, especially with the little kiss. He looked up at Stuart after his adorable little apology and brought his other hand up and caressed his cheek.

"Hey.... it's not your fault, no need to be sorry love. I scared that guy off didn't I?" He chuckled nervously. He knew he really didn't but he didn't care. He looks Stuart in the eyes. "I told you I'd fight for you.... this was just a little bump in the road, yeah? We'll have fun." He smiled wide.

"Now come on beautiful, we have other places to be." He said, grabbing Stuart's hand as they went to pay for the rings. They left and walked hand in hand to another store. This time this one was more of a touristy shop for knick-knacks. He looked at all the items they had for people to buy that said "Jamaica" on it. He was hoping there would be more authentic items to buy.

Stuart just smiled and followed him to where he was going. He felt a bit better now with his ring.

He entered the next store looking around for something nice for Noodle or Russ.... something that reminded Jamaica. Soon he was looking around apart from Murdoc.

He was absentmindedly looking for shirts around when someone got closer him. "This is not your size sweetie, need help?" A young lady appeared getting closer Stuart. Red haired and with big breasts. She was wearing a bikini and a skirt and didn't look like she was working there.

Stuart blushed "actually I'm looking to give them as presents to my family...." he explained softly "Oh? Family? You have kids....?" He shook his head "married....?" She smirked "Not yet...." he tried to show his hand. She just laughed. "This ring? She should be poor... " Stuart bit his lip hard looking around for Murdoc.

Murdoc was looking at some hats and watching two tourists casually have a conversation about Jamaican politics and how they should be more like the US. He frowned. He couldn't figure out why a person would pay to come to a place just to bitch about it. He rolled his eyes.

He looked over to find Stuart looking around for him in a panic. He wondered why, till he saw the girl watching him like he was her next meal. He growled and walked over to save his fiancée again.

"Christ, what's going on now?" He said standing next to Stuart, arms crossed, glaring at the red head.

"Can I help you?" He said, not too kindly. He couldn't get directly in her face like he could for the guy, but that didn't mean he was going to be nice.

The girl laughed "Who are you old man? The one that gave him that stupid ring? You should be miserable to propose him with this piece of crap...." She pointed to his hand. Stuart hid it scared "Are you who he's going to marry....?" She mocked and laughed. Stuart frowned and decided to go to his side "Yeah he is, any problem?" He tried to look intimidating and sure of what he was doing.

The girl giggled "Well I just thought you were interested in something different and younger...." she said wiggling her big breasts. And her big booty. Stuart blushed hard ashamed and went nearer to Murdoc.  "Than this ugly full of wrinkles man...." she frowned to Murdoc.

Murdoc looked at her flabbergasted, "Ex-fucking-cuse me?! Why does everyone here think I'm THAT old! I'm 39 for fucks sake." He was getting angry, but he knew he couldn't yell at her, not here. He couldn't help but look at her breasts, they were quite large and he wasn't immune to that.

He shook his head and wrapped an arm around Stuart. "Why don't you take your ugly ass back to the street corner and leave us alone, you filthy tramp." He hissed at her and turned to walk away with Stuart. He was incredibly pissed off, he knew he'd yell if he stayed another moment.

Stuart noticed him looking at her breasts and felt even worse...... he didn’t dare to look at that whore. He just curled himself and left the shirts he was holding following Murdoc. He bit his lip and felt unbelievably ashamed. He didn’t mumble sorry or anything. He just waited Murdoc to be less pissed off.

The girl just laughed and turned away from the boys "I noticed you staring at me old man, I bet you miss a young and hot chick's body huh....? He's a cutie but tall and awkward.... you're freaks." she teased from the distance. This made Stuart feel even worse and ugly. He didn’t miss it right? She was just teasing to hurt him. Right? He didn’t say anything and just wanted to go back home.

He hugged himself and looked at the ring. He didn’t find it ugly or poor or anything. Was something Murdoc gave him and he loved it even simple. He took a deep breath.

Murdoc walked out of the shop with Stuart. He heard her comment about him staring. He was completely embarrassed and pissed. He hadn't meant to stare at her at all. He could tell Stuart was upset, and that made his anger go away slightly. He needed to fix this. He looked for an alleyway and gently pulled the kid with him towards it.

Once there he turned to Stuart and put his hands on his face and gently stroked his cheek with his thumbs. "Hey.... I'm sorry Stuart.... I promise I didn't mean to look at her. She had huge tits, they were just there, okay? Old habits yeah?" He tried to reassure him. He knew there was no reason to lie about it. He looked apologetically at the man.

"I'm sorry...." he pleaded gently and bit his lip. He hoped he hadn't just ruined their entire trip on the first day.

Stuart just nodded. "That's okay Muds...." he whispered. he tried to forget him staring. He kept looking down feeling not young or attractive. "Y-you wanna go to another store or anything....?" he looked with eyes full of sadness. he knew he wasn’t guilty for anything but what they told him hurt.  He tried to avoid this topic and bit his lip not to cry. 'old habits' his brain repeated to him.

Murdoc didn’t ruin a thing but those people did. He wanted to go ahead and have fun but he was just too scared they would flirt with him again. The ring didn’t work what they would do now? He waited Murdoc's answer.

Murdoc slumped his shoulders after seeing the singer so sad. He caressed his cheek a little more, then pulled him down for a kiss. He made this one incredibly sweet and passionate. He tried to pour all of his love into it as he ran his fingers through Stuart's hair.

After a bit, he pulled away slightly and looked up at him. "I love you Stuart. Don't forget that yeah? You're the only one I'd do this with...." he whispered. He brushed hair out of his face.

"You're cute, handsome, and sweet, but you're also a bit of a smart ass and goofy as hell," He chuckled, "but that's what I love about you.... you're mine and I'm yours.... fuck those people. They don't get to have you." He said. He had an idea.

"We got my swim trunks and flip flops, let’s get the hell out of here. We have a private house and a beach all to ourselves. There are no band mates to interrupt and no randoms trying to dig their little claws into you. You're all mine." He leaned in closer, "I want to fuck your brains out.... then I want you to do the same to me, yeah?" He whispered and grinned.

Stuart listened to his words and looked around for a moment. He changed positions with him and kissed Murdoc with desire. He pressed a knee in the middle of his legs and tried to show how much he wanted the Satanist in that kiss. "I-I love you Mu’doc.... much more than you'll ever know......" he whispered to him. "Let's go outta here huh?" he said rubbing his nose against his. He felt a bit stronger and bolder to do something like that.

He grabbed his hand practically dragging him outta the shopping. He was hurt and sad but determined to show Murdoc he could do better than any lad or bird which appeared. He just hoped Murdoc didn’t miss woman. He called a taxi. "When we get home can we swim a bit....? I'm really tense after all these people on me...... after we can I dunno...... drink something or...." he smiled to him "Just you and me right?" he was tired of too many people around.

Murdoc was surprised by the sudden boldness Stuart showed and a little dazed. He just smiled goofily at the singer and nodded. "Y-yeah.... let’s go, love." He followed Stuart happily. He loved when the singer did stuff like that, really kept him on his toes.

Murdoc nodded to his question as they waited for the taxi. "Yeah. Let's go swimming. Sounds like a wonderful idea love." He said, squeezing Stuart's hand reassuringly. A tax pulled up and Murdoc gave them the address. As they drove, Murdoc leaned over and put his head on Stuart's shoulder. He was happy to see those little incidents hadn't ruined their trip.

When they got back to the little house, Murdoc helped carry the bags in and set them on the coffee table in the living room. He pulled out the swimsuit and looked at it. It was a good find for him. Honestly, he wondered if he could just go nude or not. He wondered if it really mattered here.

Stuart once he entered home he sighed. He was tired of the day already and just wanted to relax in the warm water with his fiancée. He went straight to the bedroom with his head bowed. "I'll change my clothes and I meet you at the beach love...." he said with a smile.

Once in the bedroom, he looked at himself on the mirror for some time. Was him that unattractive? Was he old? Was a woman better than him? He sighed and plastered the best smile he could on his face not to worry Murdoc. He rubbed a bit more of sunblock on his arms shoulders and face put his swim trunks on and walked out, going to find a good spot for them and wait for Murdoc.

He sighed and tried to avoid bad thoughts. He looked at the ring he had and to the waves crashing. They were so blue. He should draw the landscape on his notebook later. He looked up and saw birds. It was a stunning vision really. Murdoc picked up a nice place.

Murdoc nodded and watched Stuart go into the bedroom. He frowned; he could tell the singer was upset still. He bit his lip and sighed. He decided to get changed, the ocean would be good for Stu.

He went into the bathroom, changed and got ready. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. He didn't see any wrinkles, he had no idea what those two shits were talking about. He didn't look a day over 25 in his opinion. Even Vanessa thought he looked young. He did, however look odd in only swim trunks and flip flops, but he didn't care, there was no one here to see except Stuart. He put some sunglasses on and smiled wide. He was going to go cheer Stuart up.

With his ego back in check, he walked out and grabbed a few towels for them and a couple beach chairs that they could lay back in from the patio. He hauled them over to where Stuart was.

"Hey there, I'm looking for my fiancée, have you seen him?" He joked. "He's tall, skinny, handsome. He's also got these gorgeous blackout eyes you could stare into forever. They're loving and kind, way different from anyone's eyes I've ever met before. He also has this blue hair that's just gorgeous and spikey. It's as blue as that water out there...." he laughed and pointed at the water. "I love to run my fingers through it, it's crazy how soft it is...." he kept playing along as he set the chairs up, acting as if he was describing Stuart to a stranger.

"And he's got the most gorgeous singing voice you'd ever heard. You'd think he was an angel. He has this thick cockney accent, but he sings so smoothly, it's truly divine." He sat down and laid back in the chair, watching Stuart.

"So.... have you seen him? If you do, tell him his fiancée’s here and he loves him, yeah?" He chuckled.

Stuart was looking to the ocean sadly when he heard Murdoc's voice. First, he didn't realize with who he was talking to. Of course, his damaged brain didn't processed. Soon he noticed Murdoc was talking about himself and he shook his head laughing.

He started blushing once Murdoc didn't stop complimenting him. He bit his lip. Did Murdoc really saw him like that? It was really nice and Stuart could notice clearly how he wanted to cheer him up. He felt thankful for that.

He bowed his head and just look up to see Murdoc talking about himself confidently. He stood up and sat on his lap, laying on him and caressing his face and hair. "Oh I think I saw him here. He walked that way." He pointed to a random direction. "He said he was looking for a distinct man.... He has one eye black and the other red...... has a thick black fringe.... a hairy chest....some tattoos...." he began caressing his chest. "Wears an iconic upside down cross necklace...." he played with it "he's really charming y'know? Any man or woman can be at his feet with just one smile or laugh...." he chuckled and caressed his cheek. "He's British and has a really rough voice.... a sexy one. And he's shorter than him...." he chuckled "but he likes to look bigger......"

 "Oh and he mentioned his cock is huge .... And he loves riding it...." he said looking into his eyes, of course a random person wouldn't say something that intimate. He just wanted to stroke his ego. "He said that he likes to bite as well.... that's why his neck is always covered in love bites...." he touched his neck that was still sore "And that he has a long tongue.... that makes each kiss an unique experience...." he whispered taking off his glasses. "Oh and a weird looking nose..." he poked his nose. "But he said he's really in love with him and wouldn't change him for the world...." he looked to the direction he pointed before "poor sod, I hope he finds his beloved one quick...." he chuckled looking at him.

Murdoc laughed and pulled Stuart in for a kiss. His ego was thoroughly stroked and he was so happy. He kissed Stuart deeply, using the tongue he described to enter his mouth and play with Stuart's tongue. He ran his hands down the singer’s back gently, rubbing it. He bucked his hips into him playfully.

He pulled away slightly and smiled at him. "You.... are the best thing that's ever happened to me...." he whispered. He liked being able to lay out in the open like this with Stuart, not having to worry about any distractions. It was just him and Stuart. They were the only two in the world at the moment.

He brought his hands up and caressed his cheek. "I love you so much Stu. You've done so much for me, I'm happy I got to do this for you. And I'll be damned if I'll let anyone ruin this...." he whispered and he truly meant it.

Stuart chuckled back. He was happy Murdoc felt better now.... he always managed to make him feel better even being dumb. He kissed him back passionately, cupping his face.

He listened to his words and blushed hard leaning closer Murdoc with a smile. He grabbed the hand with the ring and placed them two together. He looked at the hands. The rings were simple but meant so much. Only they knew what it meant.

 "No one will ruin this Mu’doc.... this is a dream come true for me...." he whispered to him. "I just wanna forget all the problems and enjoy this amazing view with my fiancée......" he looked at him. "I love you Mu’doc.... with all my heart.... And I can't wait to be a Niccals too ..." he chuckled and kissed his forehead.

Murdoc smiled and nodded. "I love you too, Bluebird. I am looking forward to looking at all the amazing views with you.... forever." He kissed him again, then he looked past the singer at the water. It was near time for the sun to set in another hour or two so they still had some time.

"Want to go in the water? You ever swam in the ocean?" He asked, sitting up with Stuart. He rubbed his back and held his other hand that had the rings. They looked good together. He listened to the waves gently crashing along the shore and the scavenger birds flying around looking for something to eat, crying out every now and then. It was serene.

Stuart nodded. "I used to swim when little, Muds.... but has been a while already...." he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed. He wasn’t sure if he still knew how to swim.

 He sat up with him and looked to the ocean. It was really inviting. He stood up offered a hand to Murdoc with a gentle smile. "Our private beach love...." he chuckled.

Murdoc grinned wide and stood up with the help of the singer. Then he bent down and wrapped his arms around the kid’s skinny thighs and heaved him up and over his shoulder. He grunted and got Stuart situated over his shoulder, making sure he had a tight hold. He slapped a hand over Stuart's ass, while his other arm was wrapped around his legs.

"Don't squirm." He chuckled as he walked with Stuart towards the water. This was tougher than he had anticipated. He got him to the water and slowly walked in with him till he was about knee height. Then he gently set him down and reached up and kissed him.

The water was warm and inviting. He smiled and grabbed Stuart's hand and walked out till they had water up to their hips. He looked down and could see small little colorful fish swimming around. He made a note to buy snorkel gear to see the fish next time.

Stuart yelped when Murdoc came to him that way. He wasn’t expecting that. He didn’t struggle at all he actually liked that surprise a lot. He just smiled and let him be carried. He slapped his ass back when he was upside down as a payback and laughed.

Once they were in the water, he started admiring the fish around. He looked at Murdoc and smirked. The singer jumped into the water dragging Murdoc down together with him holding his hand. He was really happy right now and even not able to see the fishes under the water he knew they were there. He could see their colors.

As he was taller he pulled Murdoc close pulling him on his lap and wrapping his legs around his waist under the water. He looked into his eyes and held him by his hips. "I wonder if that lad found his lover by now......" he joked running his fingers through his wet hair mesmerized by him.

Murdoc laughed and held onto the singer and put his arms around his neck. He kissed him passionately, his lips tasting salty and brushed back Stuart's wet hair. "You know.... I think he did. It took him a while, but I think he did." He looked into the singer’s eyes.

"Thank you Stuart...." he said softly. "Thank you for coming here with me. Thank you for telling me you love me and putting up with me. Thanks for everything, really...." he felt embarrassed being sappy again, but he really wanted to tell Stuart. He always wanted to tell the singer how much he meant to him and he knew he didn't do it enough.

"I look forward to the future.... I think it'll be exceptional...." he smiled. He gently caressed his face and kissed his lips once more. He couldn't think of any other place he'd ever want to be right now. This was it.

"I'm so lucky.... I'm in a beautiful place.... with a handsome guy.... who likes me." He chuckled.

Stuart bit his lip looking at him once he broke the kiss. He was so happy. "I-I'm happy for him, Muds...." he whispered and pressed his forehead against his.

He blushed hearing his thank yous and closed his eyes, just enjoying the warm sensation of the water around them slightly moving with the waves. He felt in heaven.

"A handsome guy who loves you.... with all his heart." he whispered "So much, so much...." he hugged him. He broke the kiss slowly and looked at him in the eyes. The landscape around them was stunning, breath taken even.

"Mu’doc... Will...... will you marry me?" he whispered seriously and cupped his face looking into his eyes. He wanted to memorize that moment forever. He wished he could freeze them right there. "Please.... I promise I'll be a good husband...." he joked softly rubbing his nose against his gently.

Murdoc let out a choked laugh, surprised by the singer's joke. "Well.... only if you promise me one thing.... I demand a kiss from you every morning and every night. Would that work?" He caressed his cheeks and smiled.

"And I promise I'll do whatever it takes to keep you happy all the time we are together. How does that sound, love?" He asked. He never imagined he'd be here at any point in his life, he was so happy. The water was warm, but he shivered from the how happy he was.

"Even when we fight Muds?" he asked innocently "My mother used to say that one secret to keep a marriage afloat is not take problems to bed...... when you're going to sleep. Need to solve all of them before going to sleep" he said seriously. His parents never slept angry with each other. Stuart learned that.

"It sounds amazing, love...." he whispered "I couldn’t ask for more...." he bowed his head placing his forehead on his shoulder. "Muds...." he whispered like a mantra. "I really want to make you happy.... for life... for all the years you weren’t happy, love.... So you can forget all you suffered. I want..." he swallowed "I want to be with you for forty years or more.... this way you could say you were more happy than sad in your life...." he said innocently. At least forty years to make Murdoc forget the other miserable forty ones.

Murdoc smiled and wondered if that was true. "Yes, even if we fight. I want us to solve our issues...." he whispered. He thought about the time they had gone to bed angry before. He'd slept like hell and ended up crying. He closed his eyes thinking of how embarrassing that was.

Murdoc listened to him explain how he wanted to make him happy to outweigh all the years he'd been miserable. He chuckled and looked at the singer. He was so sweet.

"I don't think it needs to be 40 years starting now.... I think it should be 31 years after the time we had met. How does that sound?" He kissed his forehead. "I've been fairly happy since then.... maybe I couldn't even tell myself but it's true. Ever since meeting you my life has been nothing but better." He whispered.

Stuart chuckled "If forever was a number I'd pick it...." he whispered. he looked at him and bit his lip "You... were really happy and your life better after you meet me Muds....? I mean.... you didn’t seen really happy, sometimes...." the grip around Murdoc tightened involuntarily. He couldn’t agree if Murdoc was really happier after he met the Satanist. there were so many fights, abuse, yells, punches.... he tried to avoid but it still hurt sometimes, especially when Murdoc got angry and yelled or raised his hand. ir made him go back to older times. Times he needed to overcome.

"God.... we didn’t even reach one year together and I'm thinking about forty.... how silly am I?" he said and quickly wiped a tear that appeared when he chuckled.

Murdoc saw the singer get sad suddenly after feeling Stuart squeeze his grip on him. He used his thumbs to wipe the singer’s tears. "Hey.... I.... I know I never showed it.... and I never realized it till later, but I was happier. I just didn't know how to properly deal with it." He looked down and then back up at Stuart. "I took it out on you.... I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have done that and I know I can never make it up to you.... but I'm definitely going to try, yeah?" He kissed between his eyes.

"I know we haven't talked about vows or, well, any of that kind of stuff." He whispered, embarrassed. He was not the type to talk about that kind of stuff so openly. He wasn't used to it and the thought of possibly having to stand in front of a group of expecting people at a wedding sounded terrifying, but he didn't care. He'd do it for Stuart.

"I vow to, uh.... make you the happiest person in the world. And I vow to make up all the years of...." he swallowed, "all the years of pain I caused you...." he whispered.

Stuart listened to him carefully. he nodded and his lip quivered. unfortunately he wanted to cry. he felt again his broken pieces mending with his words. he sniffled and smiled fighting hard not to break. He was terrified about Murdoc going back to his old ways, even not being sure he wouldn’t. He shivered with this possibility.

"Vows....?" he repeated. He listened to his… He didn’t think he would be able to think about vows not sounding stupid or cliché.... he didn’t stop to think about them. But them he remembered once he heard in a movie....? Beautiful vows....

"Muds...." he looked at him seriously "I'm not the cleverest cookie of the jar or anything but.... I heard once in a Tim Burton's Movie.... beautiful vows, from.... Corpse Bride I think...." he frowned trying to remember.

 

_"With this hand, I will lift your sorrows_

_Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine_

_With this candle, I will light your way into darkness_

_With this ring, I ask you to be mine"_

 

He smiled, his brain was broken for some things, but he could manage to remember. He chuckled and some more tears fell. Tears from happiness this time. “I could conquer the world with just one hand as long as you were holding the other, Muds... I love you...." he heard that in another occasion but he needed to use it there. It was the moment. he held the hand with the ring noticing he was shaking. "I'll think about better vows, love, I promise.... Original ones...." he chuckled nervously. "And.... I know you will, love, you're already improving a lot.... I'm sorry I tensed.... just.... bad memories...." he whispered.

Murdoc nodded and kissed him passionately again. He pulled away for a second, "We'll make plenty of new ones...." he said quickly before kissing him again. He used his hands to grip the singer’s hair and gently pull his head back so he could kiss his chin and down his neck. He was salty from the water.

When he got done, he kept his face buried in the singer’s neck. "I love you so much...." he whispered and continued kissing him in about the same spot over and over. Then he nuzzled back into his neck.

"You're so sweet. I love you so much. I don't deserve you...." he said a little choked up. He brought his arms down around his shoulders and hugged him. "I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry...." he said shakily. Now he felt like crying.

Stuart hugged him and nuzzling his face into his hair. He closed his eyes shut, and felt the urge to cry too. He felt his heart racing and aching for a moment. He turned his head to the side and opened his eyes to see the sun going away. He took a shaky breath. "T-that's okay Muds.... I already forgave you.... I'm.... I'm sorry too...." he whispered keeping him close.

"You mean so much to me...... Please... Please don’t ever leave me Mu’doc...." he shook again pressing him against his skinny body. "I-I don’t care if you think ...... You don’t deserve me.... just please.... love me okay?.... All I ask you." he said a bit shaken and caressed his hair. "My Blackbird...." he whispered.

Murdoc just nodded and squeezed his arms and legs around the singer a little to show he was listening. He was too choked up to talk without making it apparent. He just enjoyed the touch and the voice of the singer. It meant the world to him right now

When he finally felt okay enough to talk without crying, he whispered, "Forever.... I'll love you forever Bluebird...." he sniffled and took a deep breath. He felt his eyes stinging again. He squeezed the singer tighter and buried his face into his neck, silently cursing himself and hoping he wouldn't cry. He felt awful, he always did when Stuart thought about all the shit he used to do to him. Then he was reminded that he didn't deserve the mercy of the singer. He didn't deserve anything like that.

Stuart noticed Murdoc tensing around him. He felt his heart aching. He decided to do what he could do better to calm him down. He cleared his throat a little and decided to sing. He started swaying with him, one hand on his hair another around his waist. No one could see them, it was like Stuart was lulling him or something. Under the water, he was so light to carry. He felt so happy.

 

_"Blackbird singing in the dead of night_

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_

_Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to be free...."_

 

He sung with a broken voice from crying. He couldn’t stand Murdoc that sad. He walked around with him slowly holding him like a mother would hold a son. If he wanted to cry he wouldn’t do it alone.... he kissed his hair while singing with a soft voice. His heart was beating so fast Murdoc could hear.

Murdoc shivered and felt the tears starting to pour out of his eyes. He squeezed the singer harder and tried to stifle his own cries. He could feel Stuart's heart racing with his own.

"I'm sorry." He said in a choked sob. "I'm so sorry...." he repeated several times over and over. Every time he'd hurt Stuart ran through his head. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve any of this happiness. He felt as if he was falling into a pit and couldn't get out, getting buried beneath every shitty thing he'd ever done. He was afraid of the thought of becoming his father. He didn't want to be miserable and alone, dying by himself. But he didn't deserve happiness. Stuart deserved better.

Stuart slowly shook his head. "That's okay Muds...." he whispered to him while walking with him around and looking at the sunset. He felt his heart breaking while Murdoc cried.

"You wanna tell me why you're crying....? What’s hurting, my love?" He asked after a while hugging him tightly. "If you don't That’s okay...... I’m always here......" he sniffled again rubbing his back and caressing his hair allowing him to cry As much as he needed. "I love you Mu’doc...." he sobbed alone and held him even closer humming the song lowly.

Murdoc swallowed and after a moment spoke softly, "I.... I just think.... I'm never gonna be able to make it up to you.... and I still don't deserve you." He rubbed his face into his neck, his tears mixing with the salt water. He was quiet for a little longer before speaking again.

"I don't.... I don't want to.... become my father." He sobbed quietly. "That's all I was for those years. I couldn't accept happiness and I just made you miserable with me because that's all I knew. I'm sorry...." he continued to sob.

"How could you be with me? I don't know why you don't hate me, I really don't. I'm a bastard...." he whispered. His heart beat out of his chest as he spoke. A part of him was worried Stuart would suddenly agree.

He walked to and sat down on a rock with Murdoc still on his lap. He carefully pulled him outta his chest and looked at him. He was still sobbing with bloodshot eyes and trembling.

He grabbed his hand and whispered. He had tears running down his face too. He tried to start "Mu’doc.... you are already making up to me. Everyday. You don't yell at me, you don't hurt me, you don't even drink as much as you used to. You don’t...... punch me… You are improving. And this is the best make up you can do for me okay?." He sniffled and squeezed his hand "it's not about deserving Mu’doc.... is about love. And my heart chose you. Among all people Mu’doc. You are the one I love." He sobbed "I don't want anyone that's not you. I don't need anyone better.... Or.... younger...... a woman......" he looked at him "I want you Mu’doc you, only you understand? My lover my best mate and my husband" He sobbed again but was determined to go ahead.

"You're not your father.... you're not gonna end up like him. Mu’doc even if I die trying I swear I won't leave you alone ever again. Even if you hate me.... you're not your father and Niccals isn't a cursed name...." more tears run down his face falling on the water "You want me to be a Niccals Mu’doc.... You wanna marry me how can I hate you?" He said with all pain and hurt he was feeling.

"I don't care about what you did.... it.... it still hurt that's true but it would hurt much more losing you...... “ He clenched his teeth hating this possibility. He felt his whole body shiver "I wanna forget.... I wanna start over.... I want you as my family......" he whispered "Please don't talk this way about you Muds......" he hid his face with his hands "I see so much good in you...... " he whispered and  sobbed. "I wish you could see yourself through my eyes...."

Murdoc sniffled and shook as he listened to Stuart. When Stuart finished, he hugged the singer close to him. "Thank you Stuart...." he sobbed and wiped his eyes. He always knew how to make him feel better. He felt like an ass for breaking down on their damn vacation though now.

He looked at Stu and saw him crying as well. He sniffled and brought his hands up to wipe the singer’s tears away. He looked so sad when he cried and it broke his heart. Murdoc hated himself even more, he felt like such an ass.

"Shit Stu.... I'm so sorry.... please don't cry. I didn't mean to bring this trip down.... I think I'm just tired from today...." he whispered. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love you so much. Never forget that Stuart...." he whispered and brushed his hair away.

"Mr. Stuart Niccals, yeah?" He cracked a smile, hoping that'd cheer him up. "I like the sound of it." He stated. He really did. It fit him pretty well actually. He brushed wet hair away from his face.

He sobbed quietly and stood like that for some moments till he felt himself calming down a bit. It was difficult for Stuart keep his shit together when he saw his beloved ones suffering. And he loved Murdoc a lot. He wasn't crying cuz he was sad. He was crying cuz he felt terrible Murdoc didn't think he deserved love.

It was difficult dealing with someone who found himself unlovable, unlikable. And it hurt Stuart deeply. He nodded to his thank you. He looked up to Murdoc still trembling.

"Don't be sorry Muds.... that's okay." He said quietly. "You didn't bring anything down.... Im happy you told me what was wrong." He placed a hand on his cheek "love.... I know you're not tired of today.... you're tired of a whole lifetime suffering." He whispered and sniffled. "I won't forget I promise...."

He smiled "Yeah this will me my name when I say I do...." he chuckled. "I love you." He mumbled quietly and leaned closer kissing his lips passionately pressing his body against him.

Murdoc kissed him back, deeply. His hands now in the singer’s hair, running through it. He loved their close contact, he wanted more. He wanted to be connected with Stuart.

"Please Stuart.... more." He gasped out between kisses. As he sat on Stuart's lap, he wrapped his legs around him and pulled himself as close as possible. He loved being this close to Stuart. He never wanted to be this close to someone, ever, till he met Stuart.

"I love you so fucking much." He said breathlessly.

Stuart nodded while kissing him shoving his tongue inside his mouth. He knew Murdoc wanted more by his body language.

He stopped a moment and noticed the sun was about to set. He looked at it and chuckled. "One more day goes by.... and I'm still so fucking in love with you...." He whispered and pulled him closer. He kissed his jawline and started to go down his neck. "What you want more love....?" He whispered against his ear.

Murdoc felt his heart warm when he said he was in love with him still. He shivered from the whisper on his ear and closed his eyes. His arms wrapped around his neck, he pulled him as close as he could.

"I want more of you.... I want to feel you in me." He pleaded. "Please...." he rolled his hips into Stuart. He smiled. "Show me how much you love me." He nibbled his earlobe.

Stuart smiled and nodded. "So hold me babe...." He said placing him comfortably on his lap and holding his ass with both arms, while his legs were wrapped around his waist and his arms around his shoulders. He found amazing how he was crying in a moment and the after he was totally submissive and thinking about sex. "I want to make love to you Mu’doc...." He said again into his ear.

He started walking towards home still holding the Satanist on his lap outta the water. While he walked Murdoc could see the sunset clearly as he was facing it while Stuart was facing the house. He took some deep breaths when the water was gone and he need to deal with gravity. His words gave him strength to go ahead.

The singer walked silently kissing his neck every now and then and entered with him at home. He thought that if he threw Murdoc on the bed they would wet everywhere with salt water and have no place to sleep. So he carried him to the bathroom.

He placed the Satanist into the shower and pressed him against the wall snogging him deeply and needy. He opened the warm water going under it.  He pressed his lower half against him showing how hard he was already. "You really want me, love......? cuz if you do we can finish this fast and go to bed or I can make you mine right here. You chose, my fiancée..." He whispered into his ear. Than pulled out to look into his eyes.

Murdoc smiled, his eyes still wet, as he watched the sunset while Stuart surprisingly carried him back inside. He held on tight to him, excited and kissing his neck every now and then.

When he put him down and started kissing him against the wall, he kissed back excitedly. He whimpered when he pulled away. He quickly took his swim trunks off and  threw them on the floor of the shower. He was hard and grabbed himself, stroking himself slightly.

"Now.... make me yours now.... please." He begged. "Make love to me...." he whispered and swallowed, a little embarrassed. He looked down and bit his lip. He never really asked anyone besides Stuart to make love to him.

Stuart's eyes widened. The man in front of him was so needy and so hard cuz of him he couldn't believe. "Stay still" he said lowly and quickly went out the bathroom. Going to the bedroom to look for his lube. As a precaution he knew Murdoc would bring his but he grabbed his one too. It was easy inside his bag.

He went back running and took his swim trunks off as well. He was completely naked and looking to Murdoc as he was his next meal. He quickly lubbed his cock and turned the shower off. He wanted to hear his moans without any background noise.

He quickly turned him around making him face the cold wall and grabbed him by his hips rubbing his hard cock against his entrance while lubbing it as well.

He bit his neck from behind and whispered into his ear "how bad you want me Muds huh....?" He pressed himself again against him.  "How bad you want me to make you mine......?"

 His hand ran over his bare stomach going up to his chest pulling him close. The hand that was on his hip stroked his cock softly while he singer cornered him.

"You should look at yourself now my love...... you're looking so fucking gorgeous for me......" He whispered and licked his earlobe. "I love you so much...... you're only mine."

Murdoc was kept there, breathing hard as he watched the singer leave, staying still like he commanded. He stroked himself slightly, to keep himself hard. He was shaking slightly, excited.

When Stuart came back, he smiled wide, seeing the look of pure lust on his singer’s face. He watched curiously as the singer turned the water off, then had him face the wall. He chuckled and pushed his hips out away from the wall for easier access.

When he felt his cock against him, he inhaled sharply, expecting him to push in but he didn't. He felt the bite at his neck and moaned out, his hands against the wall gave him nothing to grip. His hands all over him were over stimulating and so pleasurable, he felt his cock twitch, excitedly, especially when Stuart touched it.

When he whispered into his ear he whimpered slightly, "I'd give anything for you to make me yours right now. I love you. Only yours. Forever." He begged breathlessly. He turned his head as far to the side as he could to try to look back at Stuart with that pleading look. "Please...." he said softly.

That pleading look was all he needed to push himself inside the Satanist. He pushed it slowly feeling each inch of him entering his lover.

He grabbed his hips while doing that letting his cock free. He moaned lowly his name shivering feeling Murdoc's walls around him. He was so tight. One of his hands went to Murdoc's one interlacing their fingers against the wall.

"I love you......" He whispered into his ear and thrusted into him the first time. "You're mine...." He did the same again. His fingers grabbed his hand squeezing it while he tried to prevent his knees from giving up so much pleasure he was feeling.

He started thrusting him in a steady pace moaning his name and kissing the back of his neck gently.... "Fuck, Muds.... you're so beautiful.... I'll marry a fucking handsome man...." He said breathlessly slamming himself against his prostate and whispering sweet nothings to him.

Murdoc gasped and let out a small whine, mixed with a moan. "Fuck...." he let out, feeling himself get stretched suddenly. It hurt just a little at first but Stuart moved slow enough, he became used to it quickly. He leaned forward, pressing his face against the wall for support.

When Stuart whispered in his ear and thrusted into him the rest of the way, he let out a loud moan. "I'm yours!" He moaned out, feeling his fingers interlock with Stuart.

Every time Stuart thrusted into him, his own moans slipped, and intertwined with his singer’s. He loved Stuart's moans, they reminded him of his singing. He liked the thought of them having their own little lust filled duet together. It sounded more sensual.

He felt his cock twitch and he could feel it starting to leak precum as the singer continuously hit his prostate. He could feel the pleasure of it over stimulating him and driving him wild. The sweet kisses and whispered only added to it.

"You'll be Stuart Niccals." He said breathlessly, between moans. "I'm yours.... you're mine." He growled out.

Stuart smiled hearing that name again.... 'Stuart and Mu’doc Niccals huh....?' He imagined and it made his cock twitch. Sounded so beautiful, so powerful. He loved the idea of belonging to someone that much.... even more being Murdoc above all people.

He started to slam even harder into him till he decided to be bolder. From where he was he couldn’t see Murdoc's face while fucking him. And he didn't like it. He turned himself so he could face the older male and with a strength that came from god knows where he grabbed his legs and lifted them, having full access to his lower part spreading his legs obscenely. Even wanting to make love he knew how Murdoc liked rough sex. "Hold my shoulders, love. "He ordered.

He looked deeply into his mismatched eyes with his void ones full of lust and adoration for a moment.... when he felt he could actually move and hold him "I love you...." He whispered again pressing him against the wall and thrusting him again.

Now at the new position he could face his fiancée and rub his body against his cock in every thrust. He felt in heaven. The adrenaline and Murdoc pleases made him that bolder. "Fuck......" He moaned lowly kissing his neck roughly. He wanted to mark him. He wanted to make him his. He needed. "Moan my name...... moan the name of who you belong to...." He ordered.

Murdoc was surprised by the sudden change in direction he was in. He wasn't sure how the singer managed to do that, but he enjoyed it either way. He smiled and did as the singer said, putting his hands onto his shoulder.

He heard the singer tell him he loved him and was suddenly thrusted into, surprising him again. "Oh fuck!" He moaned out. He felt the singer hitting his prostate over and over again and his cock was getting rubbed between them but it wasn't enough. He couldn't let go over Stuart's shoulders so he was stuck in a mix of pleasurable pain. He wanted release so bad, but he didn't want it to end. He was slowly leaking precum from his cock.

He was panting and moaning, his tongue was hanging out as he did so. He lifted his head up so Stuart could get to his neck. "Stu.... Stuart!" He moaned out as best he could. He brought his face down and looked at him, "I belong to Stuart." He said breathlessly between grunts as the singer continued to pound into him.

Stuart smirked a bit wider. His idea worked and he was almost going over the edge doing that. He looked up to Murdoc while thrusting him. "Kiss me.... please......" he looked into his eyes.

"Kiss me my fiancée...." he whispered needy. He couldn’t touch Murdoc and it was torturous for him. He starred him with his big black orbs. He moaned louder seeing how he had marked his neck already. "Fuck Muds...." he said trying not to cum but it was hard not to.

"I love you...... And... I -fuck- belong to one man only......-ah- Mu’doc...." he whispered never stopping thrusting him. His eyes stung with tears. He felt so overwhelmed by emotions now. Maybe he didn’t know how to make love properly like Murdoc did. Slowly and meaningful. But he felt his heart on his throat beating only for the Satanist. "I belong to you......" he choked a moan.

Murdoc was panting and moaning; he nodded and leaned forward to kiss the singer. He moaned into his mouth, he knew he was close. He let out a small whimper, ready to cum.

He pulled away and was panting hard, "Oh fuck! I love you Stuart, I'm gonna cum." He said between moans. He dug his nails into the singer’s upper back. "Please don't stop." He begged.

Suddenly he came hard, he closed his eyes and shot his head back. Then he arched his back a little and let out an incredibly loud moan that was a mix of swearing and Stuart's name. He shot thick ropes of cum up onto his stomach and chest as explosive waves of pleasure overtook him.

Stuart didn’t stop, he couldn’t.... he wanted to make him cum so bad. He needed to hear him to cum. he moaned loudly some moments after Murdoc came releasing himself into the Satanist as deep as he could. He bit his neck hard when he did that.

Even still feeling the sweet waves of pleasure he let go of his legs placing them gently on the floor. His arms felt like jelly now and he leaned closer hugging Murdoc tightly. He needed to use him as a support or he would fall.

He looked blindly to hold his hand and squeeze it. He took both hands with interlaced fingers to his chest. His heart was racing like crazy and he was panting. He closed his eyes and kept Murdoc close. "I......... I love you......" he whispered quietly resting his head on his shoulder.

Murdoc was panting hard as he was set down. His legs weren't jelly but his back hurt a bit being up against the wall. He smiled and held the singer close. It was times like this, when they were both naked, still, and close, it made him realize just how tall Stuart was and how short he was. Without his boots he was only 5'7", which made the top of his head come up to Stuart's shoulders. He wasn't the best at helping hold him up, but he tried hard.

He rubbed the singer back and smiled, feeling his heart beating fast. His own was as well.... he tried too. He smiled, "I love you too." He said, nuzzling into the singer's chest. "I love you so much.... you don't even know." He whispered.

He could feel his own cum dripping down his front, he'd cum a lot. He could actually feel Stuart's sliding down his thigh now too. He could also feel the bite mark on his neck. He loved all those sensations, they made him happy and they made him feel loved. He nuzzled into Stuart's chest, helping to keep him up.

"You okay?" He asked as he rubbed his back.

Stuart didn't answer. He let go of his hand and cupped his face with both hands going to kiss him passionately. He put all the passion he could and all the care he felt about the Satanist. Trying hard to make him forget all he said about Stuart should hate him and he didn't deserve any love. Or that he thought he would turn into his father. Those are things that would never happen since the singer was alive and with him.

Stuart didn't care if he thought this way about himself. He knew Murdoc needed and deserved love. And he wanted to be his love. He wanted Murdoc to be his. He broke the kiss and silently looked at his face starring him with his big black orbs. He nodded. " And you, okay...?" He whispered running his fingers through his hair gently. "Want me to shower you, love....? I can do a massage too......" He asked softly. He really needed to show he cared, Murdoc's words didn't get outta his head.

Murdoc loved his kiss, he felt so loved from it. It was passionate, sweet, and caring all together. He felt a little dazed from it, grinning and blushing slightly when it was over. He'd never been kissed like that before Stuart, it still shocked him sometimes, but in a good way. He looked into Stuart's eyes staring back at him.

"Y-yeah.... I'm okay love." Closing his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair. He loved all his little touches. "I'd love that...." he whispered, eyes still shut and smiling. He felt amazing. "You're so good to me Stuart...... it still throws me off sometimes." He chuckled softly. He brought his hand forward and kissed the palm gently. He tasted like the ocean.

Stuart chuckled adorably and turned the shower on again. He placed Murdoc under it wetting him. "I try my best, my love. I don't wanna give you reasons to leave me.... so I need to be a good husband huh?" He booped his nose softly.

He grabbed the shampoo that was there already going to wash Murdoc's hair. He couldn’t let it salty or it would dry and be rigid. He conditioned it too. He started humming Blackbird once again happily washing him.

 While he did that he felt those bad thoughts about what Murdoc said slowly fading away. He needed to be sure Murdoc was right there and his. He touched him like he was made of glass.  With all the care in the world. He washed the cum oozing from him, and Murdoc’s cum. And each time he could he would kiss him and smile to him telling him he loved him.  That moment was totally dedicated to Murdoc and him only.

Once he finished giving him attention he grabbed the hand with the ring and kissed on the ring gently. "Mr. Stuart Niccals, enchanted." He bowed playfully. He joked and laughed. His arms were still aching from carrying Murdoc but he wouldn't show him.

Murdoc looked at him. "I don't think I could leave you Stuart.... ever, honestly...." he said as the singer booped his nose. He closed his eyes and smiled as the singer washed his hair and hummed to him. He laughed a little embarrassed and tried to turn away when the singer tried to clean the cum off of him. He was at the kid's mercy though and he let him do what he wanted. He smiled and kissed him back each and every time and told Stuart he loved him when he told him back.

When he was done and bowed, Murdoc laughed and brought him over to him, holding him close. He reached up and kissed him sweetly, then pulled away. "How the fuck did I get so lucky as to have someone as amazing as you......" he whispered and kissed his chest multiple times.

"You're my singer. My love. My fiancée. Soon to be my husband." He laughed. "Christ, I never thought I'd so those words in a million years.... I'm glad I am though...." he looked at Stuart's chest and ran his hand over it, analyzing the difference in skin color between them.

Stuart giggled seeing how he was embarrassed when he cleaned the cum. what could he do? He wanted to be gentle with him in every way. When Murdoc kissed his chest, he found it truly adorable, cuz now he could notice their height difference, that was cute.

Stuart smiled feeling his hand on his chest. They were really different, and he thought he was a bit less pale now "Oh so you noticed I'm a bit tanned huh? Guess your fiancée is even hotter now...." he mocked laughing and hugging him. "Only yours, Muds...." he whispered and kissed his forehead.

 "Why don’t you dry yourself and wait for me on the bed so I can massage you huh? After that we can order something to eat or go out to dinner.... anything you want, love." he offered softly. "I'll just finish my shower...." he kissed his cheek. "I want to give you full attention tonight huh?" he needed to spoil him till he forgot the sight of Murdoc crying like a lost kid, that was still hurting his chest.

Murdoc snorted, "I don't think I can let you get even hotter or I'm going to have to start beating people off with sticks." He thought about that guy saying people were going to be all over Stuart. He wasn't going to let that happen.... at all. Stuart was his.

Murdoc nodded to his suggestion of waiting for him on the bed. He smiled, "We'll stay in. I'll order something." He was excited at the thought of Stuart giving him his full attention tonight. It sounded like a dream honestly, he couldn't be happier. He truly felt loved.

He gave Stuart one final kiss and hopped out, drying off real quick and walking out into the house. It was nice not having to worry about anyone seeing you naked. He walked over to the phone, grabbing the phonebook to call a place that sounded good and would deliver. He ordered something simple, a pizza margherita from a nearby place. He would get something more authentic but he figured they may be eating on the bed so it needed to not be messy.

After he ordered he went and laid on the bed, waiting for Stuart. He was on his back, looking at the ceiling. He thought about the day and how much of a roller coaster it'd been. He brought his hand up to look at the ring and smiled. He loved that ring, mainly because it matched with Stuart. He was excited to get the rings he ordered, he knew Stuart would love them.

Stuart laughed to his joke. But he didn't think it was impossible for Murdoc run around with a stick threatening people. Some of them really deserved. Especially the ones who appeared that day.

He watched Murdoc going out and drying himself. He decided to take a shower properly. He needed to take care of his hair really carefully cuz salt water could make it less soft and it wasn’t an option. And he needed to wash the sunblock off his skin.

In some moments he was done. He walked out and dried himself, picking the swim trunks to put outside in the balcony to dry. He looked around for Murdoc and found him daydreaming or something on the bed. He smiled. The Satanist was looking at their rings. He felt special.

Silently he went to his bag to look for some underwear putting it on. It was a pink one but he didn’t care. He walked to Murdoc and kissed his lips softly looking at him "May I start honey? Lay on your belly please." He asked softly whispering into his ear. Before asking he grabbed his hand and kissed on the ring again. He had brought some lotion in case he got burned from the sun, but he thought it would be perfect for a massage.

Murdoc was surprised by Stuart's sudden entrance. He hadn't been paying attention to his surrounding, but instead staring at the ring. He enjoyed the little kiss Stuart gave him, it was sweet and tender. He always loved the man's kisses. He was always able to tell how much Stuart's loved him.

He smiled and did as Stuart told him. He rolled onto his stomach, laying his head down on his folded arms. "I can't believe I'm getting so spoiled. How lucky am I?" He chuckled, looking back at Stuart. He closed his eyes, a giant grin on his face as he waited. "You know.... I don't think I've ever actually received a massage like this before. At least.... not one I didn't pay for. Usually those ones, uh, ended a little differently." He chuckled.

Stuart smiled "Well let's say I want to spoil you all the spoil you didn't have in life...." he said playfully looking for his lotion.

He narrowed his eyes to his statement "lucky you I'm doing this for free... " he pinched a sensitive point on his back to make it hurt " and I don't want you to think about any other whores you paid for that understand? Not the way they ended. It's gonna be just me and you for now on so be a good boy and you'll be rewarded." He let go the pinch knowing it hurt.  It was just a warn and he was really jealous sometimes. He slapped his ass slightly angry.

"It can end well or not, depends on my mood..." he said putting a small amount of lotion on his hands and going to rub his back from his waist line to shoulders slowly.

"Ack! Sorry! I'm sorry!! I'll be good!" He cried out as Stuart pinched him. He growled, but then purred when Stuart slapped his ass. He sighed out as he felt Stuart start to rub his back. It felt amazing.

"Sorry...." he said softly, feeling a little bad about what he said. "You know I didn't mean anything by it. I'd take a massage by you any day over them. You know you mean the world to me. I would take your loving, sensual touches over someone treating me like a slab of meat, you know?" He whispered, hoping he was getting his point across to Stuart.

"I love you Stuart, and I appreciate what you do for me, love." He said, looking forward in front of him and closing his eyes.

Stuart smiled and patted his hair gently. He leaned closer and kissed his hair. "I love you too...... and you're not a slab of meat...." he whispered softly "you're the most sexy and handsome man I had the chance to date...." he said squeezing his shoulders softly to ease the pain of the pinch. He kissed where he pinched.

His hands went to his arms. He carefully unfolded them replacing them for a pillow as he could massage his arms. His back was really tense. One side more than the other. He thought it was cuz of carrying the bass.

"And now I have the chance to marry." He whispered enjoying the touch of his skin. He felt each of his ribs and his spine. He blushed noticing how much more muscles he had in comparison to the singer. He was older and his skin felt different. But it was warm and good. He started to kiss his back hoping his massage was better than the paid ones as he was a bit too clumsy

Murdoc purred as he massaged his shoulders then kissed them. He smiled and tried to relax as much as he could. He felt in heaven, even more when he did his arms. Nothing he'd had before felt like this. He hummed a little.

"Yeah, and I get to marry the handsome front man of my band." He chuckled. He shivered when he felt all the little kisses on his back. Stuart was surprisingly gentle and calming when it came to this massage. Murdoc could be there forever. If he wasn't careful he would probably end up falling asleep to this.


	51. Marriage

It was silent as Stuart massaged him. He decided it was a good time to maybe ask some questions. "So.... have you thought about the wedding at all?" He asked, barely above a whisper.

Stuart blushed. They spent so much time together he even forgot about the band and front man stuff...... it would be nice a band where the singer and the founder were actually a couple. He thought about how they would their fans about that. Or if they would tell. Murdoc probably won't want to tell the fans about a wedding at all.

Stuart even stopped massaging him for a moment when he asked that. "Well Muds.... to be honest it's all I think about...... But I dunno even how to start. " he chuckled nervously "I only took part in some of my family in life.... and it looks like something really tiring to organize." He said going to his legs squeezing them.  "But now that you ask it think we should do it only civil y'know? Not in a church." ‘cuz he knew Murdoc was a Satanist and he a Buddhist... it didn't make sense just ‘cuz his parents were Catholic. "Call Russel, Noodle and.... maybe just them." He bit his lip "nothing religious related or with lots of people.... I know you don't like that.... we just need the people we love there and the ones who agree our decision right?" He whispered. "If it was on a beach we needed to chose carefully who to call ‘cuz not everyone would be able to go outta England to a beach y'know?" He knew their families lived in England and wouldn't be able to travel to a wedding. Was there any beautiful beach in the UK? He couldn't think of any as beautiful as the Jamaica ones.

"Not too many people means less food and less trouble...."he chuckled "id love a big chocolate cake with miniatures of me and you on the top.... something related to blue and green as a decoration... our favorite colors.... some red roses.... Cortez bringing our rings or maybe Noodle and me dressed in a white suit and you in a black one...." he started daydreaming. "We need a judge to do it, not a priest or anything.... after we can throw a party if you want...." he said vaguely. "We could have  a stage and play for the guests.... instead of that stupid dance they the couple do in the weddings...." he thought that he would want nothing more than be able to sing with his lover. "Who knows stairway to heaven huh? It's our song......" he chuckled. Or it could be the song playing in the background when Stuart entered down the aisle.

"Love, who you want to go with you down the aisle?" cuz he knew normally who would go together with the bride was the father. Would Murdoc want his mother to do that or something? "After we go to your brother's...... maybe we can learn something from it right?" He was positive.

Murdoc thought about it. "Well.... who's going to be the one given away? I think I should stand at the front, um.... I don't think I would have anyone walk up with me...." he pursed his lips. He didn't think he could ask his mother he just met to walk up with him. He was sort of alone in that aspect of his life.

"But then you could have your parents walk up with you to give you away to me, yeah? It'd be a good signifier of me being accepted into your family, you know?" He said, as he looked at the wall, feeling every muscle relaxing as he continued to rub his back.

"I agree with everything else you said. But I do think I would be fine if you invited as much of your family as you wanted." He said. He knew he'd be nervous as hell, but Stuart really liked his family and Murdoc wasn't going to make him forget about his family for him.

"I uh.... " he started, a little embarrassed at the thought. "I would like to dance with you while Stairway to Heaven played.... that's all I want...." he didn't really care what else happened at their little reception part after. He wanted to dance with Stuart. His face was beet red and he hid it into the pillow.

Stuart felt a bit sad... "your mother could do it.... well its just an idea." he said lowly. he liked Abigail and he wanted to show his family Murdoc actually HAD a family. especially to his father.

"I can ask my father.... but i think my mother will make a fuss if she doesn’t give me away...." he chuckled, his father probably would be pissed since he doesn’t really like Murdoc.  He didn’t even know how to tell them about the wedding yet.

"I'll call my parents Muds.... I don’t know how the rest of the family think about the accident.... my parents should have talked about it to whole family......" he whispered thinking that everyone might dislike Murdoc. Well maybe only his father's family not Rachel’s part. he swallowed hard thinking about that.

"Oh would you like, love?" he said with a smile. he loved the idea too. "It would be a pleasure dancing with you in our wedding but...." he stopped for a moment and bowed his head ashamed "I dunno how to dance..." he was really embarrassed thinking he would ruin everything being clumsy.

Can you teach me how to dance properly, Muds....?" he knew they already danced stairway to heaven once, but they were alone.... maybe in public Murdoc would freak out ashamed. He caressed his hair. "And what you think about the wedding? Is there anything you wanna add? Do different?" he needed to know his opinion too.

Murdoc shrugged, "I guess I could ask her.... I just.... I dunno. I don't know if she'd want to do that.... you know? I've known her for, like, a week...." it would be nice. It'd mean he wasn't going to be surrounded by Pot's...... but they weren't Niccals either. His brother wouldn't come. He'd say he would, then forget or not bother.

He bit his lip as he thought about a whole room full of people that may hate him for what he did. He swallowed. That was.... terrifying honestly. He still hadn't forgiven himself, how could he expect them to forgive him. They weren't Stuart.

Murdoc smiled and flipped himself around so he was facing Stuart. He interlocked his fingers with Stuart's and kissed them. 'I can teach you to dance any day my love. But I think you did just fine in your room." He looked up at Stuart, straight in his eyes.

"You know what I want?" He whispered, reaching up and caressing his face. "I want you. That's it. We could marry in a castle, on a beach, on a boat, or in a swamp. I don't care. I want you in a white tux, me in a black tux, and I just want to look in your eyes as I say, 'I do.' We will be the only two in the world at that moment. I don't care how many people hate me there, how many think it's a mistake, how many are there only for a goddamn party with free booze, I don't care. I just care about you. That's it and that's all I will ever care about in that moment." He whispered.

"I could ask her for you...." he mumbled quietly. Abigail was a nice person and he knew for sure the twins would want to go. Hannibal on the other hand.... probably won’t.

Stuart sat down on the bed to hear his words. He bit his lip and squeezed his hand. It was all he wanted to. Stuart had already accepted him in his heart. And at this moment he didn’t really care about other people's opinions. What mattered were him and Murdoc.

He leaned into his touch and whispered looking into his eyes "I do." smiling imagining Murdoc in a black tux. He would look hot. "you're all i care in my life...." he whispered. "Thank you for loving me...." he leaned closer and rubbed his nose against his. "think will be a lovely ceremony...." he chuckled. "I never thought I’d have you as my fiancée discussing wedding details......" he laid on his chest hearing his heart "this must be a dream......" he whispered

Murdoc smiled and pet his hair as he laid on his chest. He watched as the singer rose and fell with his chest as he steadily breathed. He felt like the luckiest man in the world.

"Your massage was wonderful btw. Thank you. I feel so relaxed now...." he purred and closed his eyes, smiling. He jumped when he heard a knock at the door.

"Oh shit the food, hold on love." He said, slowly rolling Stuart off of him and hopping up to grab it. He quickly realized he was still naked, so he quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. Then he got the food and brought it back to Stuart. It was a large Italian styled pizza.

"Bon apetit." He chuckled as he sat on the bed with the box. He grabbed a slice and held up the tip to Stuart to take a bite. "Tell me how it tastes my love." He said.

Stuart for a second thought that Murdoc would see the door naked and he chuckled. thankfully he didn’t.

When he came with the pizza back, his stomach growled. He blushed finally noticing how he was hungry. He bit it and it tasted amazing, even not being one of his favorite flavors. "It's delicious Muds.... thank you. "He said with his mouth full of pizza. "try some..." he encouraged picking a slice for him.

"Let's go outside for a walk later, love... I bet the stars on the beach should look stunning...... after we can watch a movie, drink something or I dunno...." he blushed "I want to do anything as long as its with you...." he confessed softly sounding terribly fond.

Murdoc chuckled and took a bite. He was right, it was so good. He brought his slice back and started eating. He listened to Stuart's suggestions and nodded.

"I agree. I bet it looks amazing. I'd love to take a walk with you love." He said, taking another bite. He smiled at the cute little blush the singer gave. "You look adorable, you know that?" He looked down and swallowed, remember how others thought he was adorable today as well.

"I'm sorry about today.... I am sorry you had those people all over you. I'll make sure nothing happens to you, yeah?" He whispered, looking up at Stuart. He didn't like the idea of someone else touching his singer.

Stuart looked down to his pizza "That's okay Muds.... you helped me out.... I dunno what I'd have done to defend myself from that crazy people." he played with the pizza for a bit. "I dunno, they didnt look like they received no as an answer..." he could say he was taken that they wouldn’t believe.

"I seriously dunno what they see in me.... I mean.... I'm not that attractive, or at least I shouldn’t be...." he looked at Murdoc "I just wanted to be beautiful for you.... no one else..." he bit his lip. His life would be so much better if he didn’t catch everyone's attention in any place he went to. He should feel happy with that? ‘cuz he didn’t. He missed being the freak everyone ran away from those moments.

"It should be annoying for you having to deal with people around me when I'm just.... minding my on business...." he mumbled sadly. In Murdoc's place he would be heartbroken with that. not really angry, Murdoc got jealous and angry about those people normally, Stuart got sad. "I'm sorry, I swear I'm not interested in any of them......"

Murdoc chuckled, "Relax Bluebird. I know. I know you're going to attract some level of attention with your looks. Remember that's why I originally chose you as my front man. And it never bothered me before we were together.... well, actually it did. I was more jealous of you than anything else, but still. I know you're not interested." He leaned over and gave him a kiss. He tasted like pizza. He laughed and licked his lips.

"You know...." he said going back to eat his pizza. "It's actually sort of funny because back during one of my old bands, I had this friend named Billy. He was the guitarist. Him and I used each other for a quick shag once in a while, but he was a hundred times worse than I am when it came to jealousy. He was kind of an asshole, but also charming as hell too. He used to hate it when I had all the girls one me." He chuckled, still eating his pizza every now and then. He looked at Stu.

"I used to have a perm. It was afro like hair, could you believe it?" He laughed, making a gesture of how big his hair used to be. He didn't actually have all the girls on him, but he had more than Billy, and Billy hated that. He bit his lip thinking back to it.

Stuart raised a brow. Someone overjealous about Murdoc? that should be funny.... even more being a lad. He thought only girls were like that. He felt a bit better now. Slightly jealous himself but oh well

"I can’t even imagine someone a hundred times worse than you in jealousy...... And you really have something with guitarists huh?" he chuckled and bite his pizza remembering Paula. he thought Murdoc was the most jealous person in the world but this Billy sounded worse.  he should run around with a stick to hit the girls. "Were you in a relationship with him at least so he could have a reason to be jealous about you....? How you deal with that?" he asked curiously.

"Perm?" he laughed out loud "Jesus Christ Mu’doc.... should look terrible.... " he took the last bite of his slice "I can’t believe birds would go all over you if you had a bloody poodle on your head..." he laughed even more. "Glad you decided to change it.... you should see me when i bleached my hair.... I bleached even my brows...." he raised them "I looked like I had none.... no brows and no chicks for Stu...." he joked.

Murdoc snorted with a mouth full of pizza and started coughing, accidentally choking on it. He bent over coughing, trying to get the little bit of food out of his airway. Once he did, he started laughing again, his eyes watering. He laughed so hard his ribs hurt.

When he finally felt okay enough to talk, he looked at Stu, "Oh fuck, Stuart. That sounds hilarious, I bet you looked sickly. And yes, it was a bloody poodle, but I'll have you know, that was the hairdo at the time!" He laughed and winked.

Murdoc thought back to Billy, it'd been a while since he'd thought about him. "Nah, we weren't in any relationship. He'd just come to me when he wanted to get his rocks off. Usually I'd be talking to some women and he'd come over, pissed and drag me out of there to fuck me in a nearby bathroom or alley or wherever. I think he was more just possessive." He shrugged. "He was a rough one. He helped me create the band so I don't know if he felt I owed him or something.... we'd get done and I'd be pretty sore, but then he'd take care of me.... sorta." He thought back to it. Maybe it was more of him using his charm than anything else actually.

"Anyways, he's in jail now." Murdoc said casually, finishing his pizza. He hadn't realized how hungry he was.

Stuart began laughing as well bit he wasn't eating pizza anymore. He grabbed another slice for him watching Murdoc laughing. He was happy Murdoc was laughing, even if it was cuz he didn't have brows. "I wish I had a picture to show you... " he wanted to see Murdoc in a perm too.

He nodded to his explanation about Billy. "Well, you were a tease since then I can tell, poodle boy...." he joked shoving him playfully.

He thought about Murdoc owning him something about Gorillaz. But that was clearly not the case. Murdoc loved him. And the singer knew that. He choked a bit when he heard jail. Murdoc never had good companies. At least Stu was one. "Yeah I think I like you being possessive about me.... it's hot sometimes." He shrugged. "Possessive and patient about those people." He sighed. "And I thought you didn't bottom to anyone huh....?" He narrowed his eyes eating his pizza. "He should be really rough for you couldn't tell him no...." he said lowly.

Murdoc shrugged. "I only bottomed to him. Not like I had much of a choice. Asshole wouldn't let me top...." he growled. "I uh.... I actually forgot about him, you know? He was more charming than I am, can you believe it? Very manipulative. Our thing was usually a fist fight before sex." He said, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it after he finished his pizza. "Dude was a real prick, but he did help me out a lot. It was kind of like I was in your role and he was in mine. At least I didn't do that to you when I was jealous. I thought it was normal, till I found out it wasn't." He said puffing on his cigarette. Although he did hit Stuart. He blew out the smoke of his cigarette as he thought about how much he'd probably taken personality wise from Billy.

He looked at Stuart, sitting back. "Yeah, everything was pretty rough and wild back then. I was on speed a lot, so I'm sure that didn't help. Glad I got off that shit." He said, taking another puff. "It was kind of weird though, having someone possessive like that over me.... I don't....  I don't ever want to get like that with you Stuart. I want to be possessive at a normal level, you know? Nothing unhealthy, yeah? That ever happens, hit me over the bloody head, yeah?" He said, puffing more on his cigarette and looking at Stuart.

'Possessive at a normal level' Stuart fought for a moment. Maybe it was really dangerous possessive at Billy's level. Billy didn't know how it was good bottom to a sex god, he thought.

"Hard to imagine someone more charming than you...." maybe his brother.... But Hannibal didn't come to the case. "I guess everyone has a good side.... or something...." he mumbled eating more pizza. He didn't know what to think about that. But if Murdoc forgot him he should too. He was glad Billy helped him tho.

Stuart couldn't really think about possessiveness. He was jealous ‘cuz he loved Murdoc since the very beginning. It was something related to feelings not manipulation. So his brain didn't understand how could someone be jealous not feeling anything about the other person. Sweet heart he had

"So I bet you don't want me to be too possessive if you too right? Only at normal levels...." he chuckled "I'll hit you if you try to threaten someone with a stick.... promise...." he thought for a second "which drugs have you already tried Muds.... and which ones were the worst or ok regret the most....? Did you reached the point of being addicted to any? I mean besides booze...." he asked curiously looking at him.

Murdoc snorted, "Baby, you can be as possessive of me as you want to be. I don't mind." He purred. "I think it's cute when you're possessive, but you don't get physical when you're possessive or jealous. You get pouty." He chuckled. "I wouldn't mind if you got a little physical about it sometimes.... you know I don't mind a little whipping." He laughed and winked at Stuart.

Murdoc was surprised by the drug question. He thought about it. "Might be easier to name the ones I haven't done. You know, the usual marijuana, opium, codeine, amphetamines, molly, coke, uh.... Christ, all the versions of all those. Uh.... I got addicted to the amphetamines. Was a little bit of a crazy time. I'd usually go on these crazy runs. I'd take it over and over and just.... never sleep, hardly ate for days on end, then crash hard. I felt like I could do anything. A million things at once."

"Molly was my favorite. It's sort of like a hallucinogen and amphetamine together. That one didn't last as long, however. I think the worst was Rohypnol. Used that as an aid to get off the amphetamines, but fuck, if I took too much it'd knock me out and I'd forget some of the time before I got knocked out. I couldn't ask a doc for help, I was taking it illegally obviously." He flicked the ash off his cigarette in an ashtray, nearly forgetting he had it. Then he took another puff and looked at Stuart, hoping he'd answered his questions okay.

"I mean, to be honest, I regret all of them. They all fucked me up somehow. I hardly remember the fuckin 80s and what I do remember it wasn't great. Billy was the one who actually got me hooked on a few of those. Prick...." he spat. He knew he should have never done that shit, he was lucky he was even alive.

Stuart leaned against the wall and folded his arms to hear his explanation once his pizza as done. He looked at him seriously. He just tried weed once and it was nice but together with his pills made him so lethargic he couldn't even stay awake.

"Wow, Muds....I'm glad you're alive and you regret all that...." he knew he couldn't survive to that if he did the same. "I think I can tell you that I tried this much in my life.... But from analgesics and antidepressants.... codeine, Vicodin, Percocet, tramadol, oxycontin, fluoxetine, Xanax...... at the hospital my mother worked I could have access to almost any medicine." He told him not proudly but it was the truth "some of them when I popped for fun had different reactions in me.... it was fun at that time but.... I could have died...."

he looked down "I played to discover.... how many pills or shots I needed to be high.... But not pass out. Stupid experiment, innit? Unnecessary to say that sometimes I passed.... and my mother thought I was tired...." he shook his head and laughed. "Not I surprise I was in my bedroom most of my teen years...." he didn't know how he didn't try any drug. Maybe cuz he didn't have friends to offer him.

"I just didn't mixed with booze.... it was far too dangerous to me.... and if you know what, I regret doing that...... the times I puked.... I couldn't remember anything.... thank God I was alone.... someone could have taken advantages on me if I was high and unable to speak or run away...." he said lowly

Murdoc nodded and got up to walk over to the singer, wrapping his arms around his waist and looking up at him. "That was dumb of you." He brought a hand up and brushed hair out of his face "I wish I could have been there with you instead. It sounds like we were two people that needed each other." He whispered. He reached up and kissed him gently. He didn't like the thought of Stuart alone and high, taken advantage of. He knew that feeling all too well. It wasn't something you wanted to remember.

He pulled away. "Although it does sound like if I had known you back then, I probably would have tried to use you to get high." He frowned. "I definitely was a different person then Stu. One you wouldn't have liked."

He looked at his face, "I hate when I find you high.... just like I'm sure you hate it when you find me passed out.... can we both agree to no more?" He whispered, caressing his cheek.

" I think I was unhappy and bored Muds... I'd never do this sober and thinking straight y'know? Especially happy as I am now...." He leaned closer him laying his head on his shoulder.

"I was a different person too, love.... I would have let you use me.... i actually could have even liked it.... at least id have attention from someone...." he said sadly and his his face on his chest. He was really lonely back then. When he was almost raped by that guy he was sober and could try something to prevent him.... But when he was high.... he was totally different and unresponsive. He couldn’t defend himself.

He looked at him seriously. "No.... I don't hate Muds...... I hate when you're drunk and.... being an ass.... when you pass out I feel......" he looked up "heartbroken.... sad.... desperate...." he was being honest anger wouldn't help Murdoc passed out. He caressed his chest hair to calm down."i feel like I failed.... ‘cuz I would have prevented you from drinking till passing out y'know....? But I feel relieved too.... at least you are just blacked out but safe...."

Murdoc pet the singer's hair and smiled. "I love you Stuart. I was at a hard time in my life. You deserve someone who isn't like that.... and I'm trying hard not to be, you know? I want to be exactly what you deserve love. No more of that shit, if I can help it. Okay?" He grabbed his face between his hands and had him look up at him.

"And don't ever let anyone use you.... got it? Not even me. No more of that shit. You need to stand up for yourself Stuart. You're a handsome individual with skills. You could have the world if you wanted. Don't shoot any lower, understand me?" He said sternly. He wanted Stuart to know he was worth more. He didn't want him to ever go back to that old Stuart that got high. He pet his hair and rubbed his cheek.

Stuart nodded to his statement. He felt like he was being honest. He really meant those words. He looked at him deeply. His eyes stung with tears slightly he wasn't used to someone telling him those words. He was used to being told how he was stupid and a clumsy hollow head.... actually Murdoc who used to tell him that, hearing something different was actually really nice coming from him.

"I-I will Muds...." he promised and nodded. "I want to have the world only if I can have you with me......" he said softly being honest. He kept looking at him fondly. He most of the time didn't think he was a skilful handsome human being. But if Murdoc told him he was he would believe him. He leaned closer sitting on his lap curling like a ball.

Murdoc smiled and rubbed his back for a little bit. He looked outside and saw how lit it was outside with the moon. It'd be perfect to walk outside together. He leaned down to whisper in Stuart's ear.

"Would you like to go for a walk now love?" He ran his hand through his hair. He wished he would have waited to propose now.... but they wouldn't be here if he hadn't proposed in the first place so he supposed it didn't matter. He might do it again when he had the rings next time.

Stuart smiled and nodded frantically "please Muds!" He looked through the window and it was really stunning even with his not so good vision he could see the stars and the moon. He quickly stood up and waited Murdoc to do the same. It was so romantic outside. And they were totally alone in that house. "Let’s turn off all the lights...... so we will only see the sky...." he offered him softly.

Murdoc laughed and grabbed a flashlight. He then also grabbed a few other things from his bag, just in case they'd need it. He also grabbed a giant blanket so they could sit out side together. He put it all in a small backpack so he could just sling that on his back.

He grabbed Stuart's hand and they turned off all the lights and walked outside. It was quite, the small lull of the water and some wind blowing over the landscape could be heard. The stars were gorgeous and the mood reflected off the water beautifully. It was all breathtaking.

Stuart's eyes widened and he smiled wide. It seemed like a dream. So different from their home. He squeezed his hand while walking outside "Muds...... it's beautiful......" he whispered mesmerized. The sound of the waves crashing, the salt smell.... it was all perfect.

He looked up to the stars and chuckled. It was so stunning he couldn't even believe he was there. His hand went to his mouth covering it. All the stars and the moon reflected into his void eyes. And he was showing his gap so wide he was smiling.

He looked at Murdoc and whispered "Thank you my love...."

Murdoc nodded, smiled and whispered, "You're most welcome my love." He gave his hand a slight squeeze, glad the singer was happy. He walked with him and stood in a spot between the ocean and their house.

"You want me to lay the blanket out and we can look up at the stars together?" He asked. He would prefer that as to actually just walking because he was only in flip-flops and walking in the dark was a pain in the ass, plus Stuart was clumsy. It was only a matter of time till he tripped to. He chuckled to himself.

He looked at him and silently whispered a "please" as he didn't want to ruin the moment by making any noise. He could be singing by that as he was really happy bloated even. "I want to look up at the stars with the man I love......" he whispered to him smiling. Stuart was totally mesmerized by the sky at that time. He thought again he could stop the time with him right there.

Murdoc smiled and set the blanket up, laying down and having Stuart use his arm to rest his head on. He looked up at the stars, incredibly mesmerized. He looked over at Stuart and could see the faint glow of his outline. He looked happy, from what Murdoc could see.

"Can you...... can you sing?" He whispered. He didn't know if Stuart would want to, but his singing would make this moment perfect. It was all he could ever ask for. If the world ended right now, he'd be in the perfect spot, with the perfect person, in the perfect moment.

Stuart smiled even wider.... " of course I can my love...... anytime.... is there anything specific you want me to sing my love......?" He whispered to him and grabbed his hand caressing it softly. Murdoc's eyes were shining so beautifully, especially his red one.

Murdoc smiled wide. "Can you sing, Shine On You Crazy Diamond?" He whispered. He thought it fit in perfect here. He brought his hand up and kissed it softly. "Hearing your voice will make this night perfect...."

Stuart smiled. he knew that by heart,, he loved the album where this song came from. he nodded to his request and silently began.

_Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun._

_Shine on you crazy diamond._

_Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky......_

 

He sung looking at him and forgetting the stars for a moment. He was so beautiful for the singer. He wanted that moment to never end.

 

_Shine on you crazy diamond._

_You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,_

_Blown on the steel breeze._

_Come on you target for faraway laughter,_

 

He smiled and run his fingers through his hair singing.

Murdoc turned to him, enjoying his fingers running through his hair. He closed his eyes and sang along with just a small part of the next song. He knew this song by heart, having listened to it constantly when he was younger.

"You reached for the secret too soon. You cried for the moon. Shine on, you crazy diamond."

He grabbed Stuart's hand and put it on the side of his face, against his cheek and he nuzzled it. He was so in love, he never thought he'd ever get to experience anything like this in his lifetime. Ever. He still felt like he was in a dream and he'd wake up, back to when he was taking care of Stuart in his coma.

Stuart found cute the way he grabbed his hand to caress his face. It was something childish, but Murdoc had those moments he just needed care. He caressed his face slowly.

He loved hearing Murdoc singing together with him. Their voices were so different they made a good duo for the singer. He leaned closer him and kissed his lips gently when he stopped singing. He wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer singing into his ear just for him.

He was surprised when the singer pulled him close. He smiled and wrapped his arms around him as well. He nuzzled his face into Stuart's chest and snuggled close to him. He kept thinking about all the firsts he got to do with the singer, snuggling being one. Being sung to like this was definitely one of them.

Him singing in his ear sent a shiver down his spine. His eyes stung with tears, but they were happy tears. He felt ridiculous for wanting to cry at a moment like this. He hated crying, he really did. He also thought happy tears were ridiculous, he didn't want to ruin this moment by crying like an emotional mess. He hugged Stuart tighter.

Stuart began singing into his ear just to sound more intimate. He didn’t want to turn him on or anything. He noticed him a bit shaken and hugging him close. He smiled. Murdoc looked so cute now. He looked he was about to cry. Was it something bad?

He shifted Murdoc so he was with his face against his chest and he rubbed his back and kept singing for him and kissing his hair every now and then. He run his fingers through it.

"I love you...... Thank you for existing Mu’doc...." he whispered to him calmly kissing his forehead. "I'm so happy I'll marry you, love......" he said honestly into his ear whispering with a half broken voice. it was really a touching moment for him.

Murdoc snorted. "I don't think anyone's ever thanked me for existing, Bluebird. You really know how to stroke my ego.... Thank you for existing as well. Thank you for having such a lovely voice...... Thank you for loving me.... even when I'm an ass." He mumbled into his chest.

"I'm so lucky I get you all to myself...." he whispered. He looked up at the singer and kissed his lips softly. He didn't want it to end. He didn't want to share him with anyone. He held him closer, as if that's exactly what he planned to do too.

Stuart chuckled softly before kissing him.  "Well another first time I guess...." he rubbed his back "don't mention it love......" he whispered sniffling his hair. It still smelled like the ocean.

"Only for you Muds...." he poked his nose playfully going back to watch the stars "thank you for bringing me here.... it's breathtaking really...." he pointed to the sky "Look, look Mu’doc it's a shooting star...... make a wish make a wish...." he said closing his eyes and putting his tongue out playfully. He frowned thinking about a good wish.

Murdoc chuckled as he saw Stu close his eyes and stick out his tongue to make a wish. He didn't believe in that kind of stuff, but he would play along with his singer. He smiled and lifted himself and kissed Stuart's forehead. "You're too bloody adorable." He whispered against his forehead.

He laid back onto his back and looked back up at the stars. He reached his hand out, as if he could grab a cluster of them and hold them in his palm. "Can you imagine there's so many worlds out there that we'll never know about? That'll never know about us? Or our band? Poor sods." He laughed.

Stuart was focused in his wish when he heard Murdoc complimenting him. He blushed with that sweet little kiss. He made his wish before he got unfocused. Something about him and Murdoc never leaving each other...... and things working out for them.

He looked at him while he lifted his hand and smiled. he chuckled "I bet there are many......" he laid on his back looking at the stars with Murdoc "Many worlds that won’t know I'm marrying the most incredible and charming man that ever lived...." he teased grabbing his hand.

"At least in this world we found each other..." he joked smiling. "You know any names of constellations, Muds....?" he asked still looking at the stars.

Murdoc snorted, "Actually I know quite a few of them. I usually looked at the stars a lot as a kid so.... I took the time to learn them. Here in Jamaica, you can see the tail of Draco...." he followed a few stars in a small line that is hidden by the horizon. "It's right next to Usra Minor, which is visible there.... Ursa Major is just to the left." He pointed. "Lynx is just above that.... oh there's Andromeda in the Pegasus constellation." He said excited. He never had a reason before to name out the constellations he learned. He always thought they might be helpful to know if he was ever lost.

He turned to Stuart. "Sometimes, when I was younger, I'd walk the streets of Stoke at night. It'd be hard to tell where I was and I got lost of a few times.... even if I didn't really want to go home.... so I looked up one night and saw the stars and started doing some research. I remember hearing how those constellations where always the same groups of stars and some could help point you in certain directions, you know? That way, if I was away from that sodding house, I could eventually make my way back." He said, putting his hand up again, as if to touch them.

Stuart smiled wide. He didn't think Murdoc would take time as a child to see the stars. But it was a sweet surprise. He thought stoke was too polluted to see the sky. He followed with his bad sight where Murdoc was pointing at trying to memorize those names. He could see the constellations he was explaining. He was even more mesmerized by the sky after that. He bit his lip as a curious child. Imagining the sky full of drawings. Murdoc was even more intelligent than he thought. He was even more in love now.

He looked at Murdoc when he turned to talk to him. He walking through those streets alone sounded so.... sad to think about. He probably would do it drunk or after being beat up.... to escape his father and his miserable life. He tried to avoid those bad thoughts focusing in him. He knew for sure that time Murdoc didn't want to find a way back to his house.... that wasn't a home really.

"So.... if one day we're apart.... they can use them to find us back together I think... our way back home right?." he tried to sound romantic but it sounded much better into his head. He decided to lay on his chest to watch the starts. He did as Murdoc trying to grab one. There was one shining more than the others, he focused on it cuddling with Murdoc hugging him tight still thinking of him as a child.

Murdoc combed his fingers through the singer's hair gently, lovingly. He laughed, "I get what you mean Bluebird. It's a romantic gesture." He purred. "I like the idea of being able to find each other again if we get lost...." he wrapped an arm around Stuart and kissed the top of his head.

He chuckled to himself, "I used to think that kind of romantic crap was just that.... crap. I hated it. I used to be disgusted at the thought of depending on someone.... needing someone.... having to rely on someone. I never had to before, why the hell would I ever need to? I like it though.... I like this." He hugged him closer. "I always saw how much my dad went through women when I was younger, I thought that was just the way it was. I thought love was a scam.... or a fairy tale...." he whispered.

Stuart closed his eyes listening to him and feeling his fingers through his hair. It was so soothing. He thought about what he said.

"Well Muds.... I think...." he stopped a moment trying to put his thoughts in order. He never thought about that really. "I think I'm romantic y'know?" He chuckled "Even when I was high.... and alone....young dumb and thinking no one cared about me" he tried to sound dramatic "I wanted to have that special person to be with me.... just like I watched my parents together.... I wanted to have someone like they had each other y'know....? I thought i needed someone to take care of me and put up with my stupidity" He lifted a bit from his chest to look into his eyes.

"The problem was that.... I never thought no one would be interested is someone as slow and as stupid as me...." he looked down "Someone who's not.... clever, strong.... or charming.... just a lad.... a blue lad who likes zombie movies and keyboards..." he smiled "I thought I had so little to offer that I’d never find someone who would fall in love with me.... But...." he looked at Murdoc "I always believed in love tho.... never thought was crap. I just thought it wasn’t for me... or for people like me." he said lowly. "When I was high I even had dreams about having someone...."

"Are you happy now that you...... depend on someone.... need someone.... I mean, me....?" It was odd for the singer knowing someone needed him. Especially someone as self sufficient as Murdoc. The difference between what Stuart saw when little and what Murdoc saw was evident. But they both found true love.... Even not thinking they deserved.

 "You wanted to find love, Muds....? Or you still think it's all.... Y'know.... fake?" He bit his lip. Maybe Murdoc didn't know what was love ‘cuz he never felt. Or he assumed he was in love with Stu even not knowing what it was. "’cuz I know it seems like a dream now.... a fairy tale. And I'm really happy loving you." He blushed.

Murdoc laughed at him saying he was the romantic type. Stuart could be, he supposed, but he was a little too unaware sometimes to let anyone else on that he's romantic, but that's also why he loved him. He gave Murdoc a chance to be the romantic one for him. Murdoc listened to him and pet his hair as Stuart talked. Stuart had always had dreams like that.... Murdoc wondered just how lonely it was to hope and not have it. He was lucky to never want it until it was thrust upon him.

Murdoc caressed his cheek gently, nodding. "I am happy Bluebird. And I don't think it's crap anymore. I can see why everyone would want something like this, you know? It's so much more than I thought it would be. I had to learn a lot with you, like how to trust you more and how to be more dependent on you and more reliable for you. Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever say that to you. But when you confessed and cried, my heart just sort of.... started beating, you know? It's like when you said the words, it clicked for me. And I couldn't be happier." He whispered, looking down at him and smiling. "Is it everything you hoped and dreamed?" He chuckled, brushing a strand of blue from his face.

Stuart smiled to him back and leaned into his touch. He listened to him. His eyes watered, he chuckled and hugged him tight "Yeah it is Muds.... Much more than I thought I'd deserve." He nuzzled his face into his chest "I'm so glad you're happy...... that I can make you happy...." he sighed. "I love you so much......" he whispered squeezing him "thank you for everything......"

Murdoc smiled and rubbed his back. "I love you too Bluebird.... no, thank you love." He whispered and looked up into the night sky. It was quiet, warm, and peaceful. He couldn't think of a better moment in time.

After a time he started humming the song 'Simple Man'. He wasn't sure why it popped into his head, but it was a nice song, so he felt the need to him a long. When it got to a certain set of lyrics near the end, he decided to sing them out to Stuart. He kept looked at the sky as his hand pet his hair.

"Boy, don't you worry, you'll find yourself. Follow your heart and nothing else, and you can do this, oh baby, if you try. All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied. And be a simple kind of man. Oh, be something you love and understand, so baby be a simple kind of man. Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can" he closed with kissing Stuart's hand.

Stuart listened to him singing. He wasn’t expecting something like that but it was an adorable surprise. Murdoc would only start singing if he felt really safe. He hoped he was feeling safe now with him.

 

_Baby, be a simple, really simple man_

_Oh, be something you love and understand_

_Baby, be a simple, kind of simple man…_

 

"Oh yes, I will...." he whispered softly looking into his eyes "You really like Lynyrd don’t you, Muds....? I have a favorite from them...... and It's not "Free Bird...." but...." he smiled "I'll show you only if you dance with me...." he pouted and folded his arms. H was feeling playful right now. "I bet you know which is" he laughed. It wasn’t a really famous song of them, but Stuart loved it.

Murdoc smiled, "I like them, yeah. They're one of my favorites that are more appropriate to sing to you. Unless you want me to sing Dios to you." He laughed.

Murdoc slowly got up with Stuart. "Fine, fine. You know I'll do anything to hear you sing." He said as he brushed any sand off of him. He put his hands on Stuart's waist and had him rest his arms on his shoulders, which wasn't hard since Stuart was so much taller. Then he looked into his black eyes, only partially lit by the moon.

"Alright love. I'm ready." He whispered, giving him a sweet kiss.

"God I'm half naked and you’re naked dancing on the beach alone..." he shook his head "God this must be love or not?" he teased and blinked to him. maybe dancing on the sand wouldn’t be the best idea, but oh well.

"Well I wanna sing for you my favorite.... and after when we head to bed, one I used to listen that...." he blushed "I think now I know what the lyrics meant a bit better......" he whispered and bit his lip. He would actually dedicate it to Murdoc just was ashamed of telling him.

He did the same as the Satanist holding his waist and his shoulders, something much easier to him considering their heights. He tried to sing a position that his feet would be firm on the sand but it was too soft. Okay, let's focus in not falling. He started shyly hoping Murdoc knew the song at least.

 

_My daddy told me always be strong son_

_Don't you ever cry_

_You find the pretty girls, and then you love them_

_And then you say goodbye_

_I never dreamed that you would leave me_

_But now you're gone_

_I never dreamed that I would miss you_

_Woman won't you come back home_

 

He swayed remembering the melody of it. It was a happy and dancing one.... unfortunately the album didn’t have the best backstory.... the whole accident and all that. But the song had a happy melody. He wish they were really listening to it and not only Stuart singing. The waves crashed and that song always made Stuart want to fly high or something.... it was so soothing, and it was a love song too in a way.

Murdoc chuckled. "I told you I'd be naked if I could. I don't care. I'm with you, that's all that matters." He gripped Stuart's hips firmly as they walked out together further into the sand. He knew how Stuart was a little clumsy and, with him being naked, he didn't want to fall either.

Murdoc was curious which song he would sing. He knew most of Skynyrd but there were still quite a few to choose from that could be sung here. He waited, ignoring the waves in the background and all other sounds. Right now, it was just Stuart he focused on.

When he started singing, he knew the song immediately. He smiled wide and swayed with him, just listening to Stuart's soothing voice. Stuart could sing all the words in a dictionary and Murdoc would still love it. He knew, the second he heard him sing way back after his coma that his voice was all he ever wanted. He put his head on Stuart's shoulder.

Stuart knew the moment he smiled he recognized the song. He was so happy now. Stuart hugged him and stopped swaying for a while. He just looked at the sand and sung for him into his ear lowly.... he caressed his hair lovingly and kissed his temple multiple times keeping him close.

He held him like he was the most precious thing in whole world. And for Stuart he really was. Naked in the middle of a beach...... deeply in love. They could marry right that moment he wouldn’t mind at all. After a while when the music stopped he just embraced him and focused on their breathings. Their hearts racing. On how much he loved the shorter male.

Murdoc held him close as he sang into his ear. He shivered at the closeness, the intimacy of it. He loved the singer’s hands in his hair and his soft lips against his forehead. He wanted to stay here forever, to be in his arms forever. He still thought of his arms like wings, they were so much longer than Murdoc's, he felt like they fully wrapped around him with ease. He usually hated being so short, but he really didn't mind it now.

He lifted his head and brought his hand up to Stuart's chin and tilted him down towards him. He gave him a long, deep kiss. He slipped his tongue into his mouth and played with his. He just focused on being with him, his taste, his smell, his touch. He'd never felt so connected with anyone before. Stuart was his and only his.

He pulled away ever so slightly, and whispered, "I love you...."

Stuart was in trance with that kiss he kissed him back with the same passion and looked into his eyes after he broke the kiss. He caressed his face gently smiling "I love you too...." he whispered rubbing his nose against the Satanist's.

"Let's get back inside love......? Or you still wanna see the stars....? I think we can have an amazing vision from the bedroom's window...." he whispered to him. "I wanna make out with you before we sleep...." he blushed a bit sounding that honest.

Murdoc just chuckled, "You wanna make out with me huh? You know Murdoc Niccals will never say no to that." He kissed his lips again, then turned to clean up the blanket and grab his bag. He then held Stuart's hand and walked with him back to the beach house.

"Come on love." He said softly, as he walked with him to the bed. He laid back on it with Stuart on his chest. They had the same amount of light shining in from the moon, and he could see the outline of Stuart's face. He combed his fingers through his hair, smiling and just enjoying the moment.

Stuart chuckled "well Stuart Niccals can’t say no to that either...." he teased watching Murdoc pick all things up again into right place. He walked with him back inside.

He gently laid with the Satanist and he was right, the vision from the bedroom was stunning. He slightly turned his face with his fingertips whispering I love you against his lips and going to kiss him passionately pulling him closer on him. He wrapped his ridiculously long legs around him and cupped his face with one hand deepening the kiss.

Murdoc kissed him back, his hands moving to Stuart's side, rubbing up and down gently. His skin was soft, or at least softer than his own. His kiss was soft but passionate, he could tell it was filled with love. He pulled away after a few moments to catch his breath.

"You, my love, are an excellent kisser. Maybe it's the lack of front teeth." He teased and kissed his nose. "Do you ever want to get new teeth?" He asked, suddenly curious as to why he hasn't. "Don't you miss having teeth?" He chuckled and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

Stuart laughed at his statement catching his breath. "Maybe it is...." he said quietly. He never thought he was a good kissed at all.... lack of experience maybe. Paula never told him that.

"Well...... My parents told me that I could get new teeth if I wanted and try to treat the hyfema...." he frowned "But you were so excited about me being front man...... that I thought that if I changed something in my teeth my voice would change too or something...... " he looked at him "You know how I pronounce the s right? It wasn't like that before the accident...." he chuckled he had a ‘sh’ pronounce since then, fink, somefink some words really changed. "I didn't want to ruin getting into your band changing my appearance so I never suggested getting them fixed and...... You never complained so I just managed to learn how to do stuff without them.... some still difficult tho...." he licked where his teeth were suppose to be. "Well sucking cock without them isn't difficult I must say...." he laughed. There were lots of things lack of teeth turned hard for the singer to do. But Murdoc didn't need to know.

Murdoc felt a little guilty. He really liked Stuart without the teeth. He thought it fit his image really well and everyone knew it. He stroked his cheek with his thumb. He wasn't sure if having teeth would do anything to his voice, but he was so used to it now, it would seem weird if he suddenly got teeth now.

"Well.... I love you without your teeth, I think it fits your look, but I wouldn't say no to you getting fake ones if you wanted. I think you're handsome with or without them...." he whispered. "I had to take care of you when you still had them, remember?" He was, of course, very loosely using the words "take care of." He still felt bad about not taking proper care of the kid. He bit his lip, feeling like a total ass.

Stuart looked at him with his big black orbs while he caressed his cheek. He chuckled "My love.... I keep falling flat on my face all the time.... if I get new teeth they would be broken in a heartbeat." He joked but it was half-true. He blushed at his compliment.

"I'm not taking new ones Muds.... I'm already used to be without them. And if you think it fits my look how am I suppose to change that huh? You're my husband." He sweetly smiled and booped his nose. "I want our wedding pictures with me as I am....smiling and showing my gap proudly" he said honestly "thank God I just broke two...... if I had broken more id definitely have to put fake ones... " he chuckled.

"And I know you took care of me with them.... but .... That time I didn't eat much did I?" He chuckled but it wasn't funny. "How did I look with my teeth Muds?" He wished Murdoc had taken a picture or something.

Murdoc blushed when be called him his husband. It always threw him off. It was probably the one word he never thought he'd be called. Stuart's nose boop only made it sweeter.

"No, you really didn't eat much. We had to put a, uh, feeding tube in you." He cringed, remembering seeing him like that the first time. It had freaked him out a little, seeing him choke on the tube, automatically, as it was put down his throat. He shivered, but then he focused his thoughts on how he'd looked.

"You had looked good obviously. Your blue hair and your ridiculously gorgeous blue eye and all your teeth. I bloody hated you at the time, but looking back, you were still quite handsome." He said, also remembering all the shit he'd done to him in that state. His shoulders slumped, disappointed in himself.

"Yeah.... I know you hated me." He whispered sadly and laid on his chest again. He thought that if he never came outta the coma Murdoc might never had fallen in love with him.... that made him feel a bit sadder thinking about.

"Muds.... I know you didn't like taking care of my in coma but...... were you mean with me....? Like did you ever did something with y'know...  my body....? Just ‘cuz you were angry of being stuck with me?" He whispered playing with his chest hair. He knew it wasn't his fault he was in a coma.... He just wanted to know how much Murdoc hated it at that time. Or if he did something really hideous with the singer back then.... or it was all anger but he didn't take on the singer.

Murdoc stiffened at the question. He knew they'd have to talk about it in more detail someday, but he didn't think it'd be today. He bit his lip, remaining quiet, unsure how to start. He went back to petting his hair slowly.

"Look.... I know it doesn't excuse anything, but I want to start off by saying I wasn't.... wasn't in the right frame of mind. I had just spent ten years trying to get multiple bands off the ground and running. The one before I had crashed into you had been going okay, with my guitarist Billy, yeah? But then he went to jail and the band just fell apart...." he said slowly. He couldn't look at Stuart.

"Then I ran into your window. Into you. I needed a band. I was desperate. I didn't think anyone would be there.... but there you were. And when I got out to check on you, you were bleeding and I thought you were dead. I thought I would be in jail for life.... at least that would have been easier than continuing on with my shit life, right?" He swallowed, feeling sick that he had thought like that.

"Then, I got stuck in that shit life with a million hours of community service, and then.... you.... but not alive you, it was coma you. I was already barely able to take care of myself. I had no money, my apartment was a shithole.... and they expected me to take care of you. How was I supposed to find a job between all that?"

"Anyways...." he continued cautiously, "I.... may have taken out some aggression on you. I didn't outright beat you, but a slap, a shove, neglect...." he turned his head and looked to the side, unable to look at Stuart.

"I used to hate you.... when I'd come home after looking for a job or when I got a job, exhausted and I had to take care of you.... and I couldn't eat since I didn't have money.... I couldn't sleep because I had to take care of you.... I could go out with friends cause of that either.... I'd sit you on my couch and you'd stare out with your dead eye.... I'd go over to the couch and.... shove you onto the floor.... I'd eventually pick you back up and put you on the couch next to me again, but.... I hated you." He whispered. He felt awful, but he knew he needed to tell him the truth.

"There was one time.... only once.... I ever let my guard down with you.... I, uh, may have been doing some.... dirtier things for money and I got beat up and mugged. So I came home and there your dad was with you. He brought you up, said I looked like hell, then he talked to you.... he usually did that every time he dropped you off with me, but this time.... I dunno. It hit me harder. He told you he loved you, you'd always be his son, and he'd always be there for you. After he left I looked at you, hating you for how your father could say such nice things to you, even in a bloody coma, falling on deaf ears.... I broke down.... violently. I cried for a while. I grabbed you by your shirt collar and yelled at you, tears streaming down my face, then I dug my face into your chest and just.... cried." He said. He brought a hand up to his eyes, covering his face. He hated himself more than anything in the world right now.

"I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry...." he whispered with a shaky breath.

Stuart listened to him speaking but didn't dare to lift his head. He knew Murdoc wouldn't be looking at him and look at his face now would only make him much less comfortable than he already wasn't to talk about that. He respected his moment. It was him who asked for it.

His heart broke hearing Murdoc wanted rather be in jail than living his life. How miserable was him? And he wasn't even living with his dad anymore. Stuart curled thinking about that even not wanting and knowing that it was Murdoc's fault he felt like a burden. Like he had ruined a life of a person that was already ruined. Why did everything had to be difficult for them.? Why couldn't they just met up under another circumstances.... ? Everything needed to be so tragic. He felt even sadder.

He knew Murdoc should have hit him. He couldn't remember but he did this after when he was fully awake so he was suspicious he wouldn't do it while he was unconscious. He wouldn’t be able to defend himself and would be easier for Murdoc to focus all his anger on him. He sighed at least he didn't do much. Stuart was expecting for that answer already.

 He imagined Murdoc unable to eat and unable to sleep or have a social life ‘cuz of him and he felt even worse.

He hearing he hated him made his chest ache. Those were words not even joking he would want to hear from Murdoc. But that was the truth and another time in his life.

He heard about his father and his heart broke a bit more. He knew his father loved and cared about him. But it should have really hit Murdoc as his father hated him. He pressed his hand on his chest where Murdoc was at that occasion. Like he could feel him still.

He heard his apologies and tried to answer "that okay, Muds.... it's past.... I forgave you...... And I'm glad you told me the truth." He whispered to him and pulled him close feeling his heart in pieces. He even felt like crying. But wouldn't do it now. Murdoc would feel even worst.

Murdoc felt his eyes stinging as he heard Stuart say he forgave him. His hand was still hiding his face. He didn't want to cry again, not twice in one night. The whole intimacy of the night was really throwing his emotions into a frenzy. He was feeling so disappointed in himself at the moment.

"I'm sorry...." he said again in a whisper, his hand shaking slightly, while he sniffled, trying to hold it back. "Christ.... You didn't do anything and I still hated you.... then you woke up and I found out you had the most beautiful voice and...." he clenched his teeth, "you idolized me. You shouldn't have.... after all I did. I think I kept abusing you cause I felt you should hate me.... I didn't want to admit it...." he whispered, his voice choking up slightly.

"I didn't deserve it.... I don't deserve this now. For an entire year, I hated you.... I didn't have a good reason. I'm so sorry Stuart. I'm so sorry." He choked out, hand still over his face. He was shaking slightly.

His heart broke a bit more hearing Murdoc abused him ‘cuz he wanted Stuart to hate him. He bit his lip hard he would be abused forever ‘cuz he would never hate Murdoc. He wasn't capable.

He quickly changed position with him and put his against his chest and holding him tightly. He noticed Murdoc was shaken. And he really regretted what he had done.

Stuart didn't know what to say again to him. With his face against his chest he wouldn't be able to see Stuart was at the verge of tears as well. Murdoc would feel a bit less lonely. He caressed his black thick hair and decided to do what he could best. Sing.

 

_Ain't no need to worry_

_There ain't no use to cry_

_'Cause I'll be comin' home soon_

_To keep you satisfied_

_You know I get so lonely_

_That I feel I can't go on_

_And it feels so good inside, babe_

_Just to call you on the telephone, I said_

_Ooh baby, I love you_

_What more can I say?_

_Ooh baby, I need you_

_I miss you more every day_

 

At the chorus, he was slightly crying. Whispering into his ear and fighting back tears not to make Murdoc upset. He needed to comfort him. To make him see he was already forgiven. Hate wasn't the answer. Would Murdoc be happier with Stuart hating him more than loving? It couldn't be. He held him tighter and hid his face on his hair thinking too much.

Murdoc felt the change in positions and held onto his chest close, shaking and trying to hold back tears. He felt his hand caress his hair and he felt a little better. The comfort of his touch did a lot for him. He sniffled and a few tears came forward and spilled onto his shirt.

Then he heard singing. He loved his singing. It sent chills down his spine and he held onto him tighter. He could tell Stuart was upset, on the verge of tears. When he finished singing, he crawled up a bit to put his face into the singer’s neck and wrapped his arms around his neck and hugged him.

"I'm sorry...." he said one more time, then added. "I love you.... I would take it all back if I could...." he nuzzled his neck and held onto him tight. He was so thankful for Stuart and everything he did for him. If it wasn't for him he'd still be on the streets.

Stuart knew that comfort at this moment was essential for Murdoc feeling better. Actually was the only thing he could do to make him feel better. He felt Murdoc trying to hold back tears. Maybe it was a moment for him to let them fall. He just hoped his singing was helping something for Murdoc. We wasn't mad at all.... the truth just hurt a bit.

He noticed Murdoc coming to hold him by his neck and sniffled. He hugged him back needy. "No Muds.... I'm sorry...." he whispered back. "I'm so glad I could find you in my life.... you  have no idea......" he sobbed "I love you so much.... Please don't ever leave.... you're important to me...." he broke the hug and looked into his eyes.

"I don’t want you ever going back into that miserable life.... ever.... I promise I'll make you happy.... And...." he looked deep inside his eyes "You'll always be my best mate......" he said as a promise. Even if they were apart or not together anymore, Murdoc would never be alone like he was back there. Ever. He felt bad cuz Murdoc was miserable and he only made this worse entering his life. He felt like a failure.

Murdoc sniffled and looked up, a few tears escaping once more. He put his hands on either side of Stuart's face. "But you already have.... I'm so happy Stuart. We've done so many things together that I never imagined doing. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me...." he said between little sniffles. He kissed him gently.

"If it weren't for you, I'd still be on the streets trying to find my band. I'd be miserable.... I love you so much and I wouldn't trade meeting you for the world. I just.... wish I could take back the nasty things I did...." he whispered, petting his hair and looking into his eyes. He wiped the singer's tears away from his face gently.

"You're my best mate, and I promise I'll try to make up for what I've done to you...... I want you happy, no matter what...." he whispered, running his hand through his hair and brushing away more tears. This isn't what he wanted at all, but he knew he needed to tell him the truth. "You're the love of my life, Stuart. No one else has ever, or will ever have that position besides you." He whispered, kissing up his chin several times.

Stuart smiled and tried to calm Himself down but it was hard with Murdoc telling him all those sweet words. He kissed him back and he sobbed quietly again rubbing his back.

"No Muds.... enough pain and suffer for us...... we're getting married...... we deserve happiness once we found each other right?..." he looked at him "all that was missing in me was...... you. Now i can see it." he smiled. "And I forgive all the nasty things.... if you’re really sorry you won't do anything mean ever again will you....?" He said looking into his eyes and sniffling.

He hugged him again placing Murdoc's face on his chest and sniffling. "My husband...." he gently whispered while he laid down with him. Keeping him protectively into his arms. He kissed the top of his head whispering multiple times "My love.... My life.... My Muds...." trying to calm himself and Murdoc down.

Murdoc smiled as he nuzzled his chest  "Your Muds.... my Bluebird...." he said back. He brought his hand to his face and wiped his eyes. "You're husband." He whispered. It still seemed foreign to him, but he'd slowly get used to it. He kissed the singer's chest a few times and laid his head back down on it. He looked up at Stuart, admiring him.

He was tired from the day, his eyes were tired from crying, and he was comfortable on Stuart's chest. He could hear his breathing, hear his heartbeat, he loved listening to it. He was the only one who got to hear it. He wrapped his arms around him and held him close as he closed his eyes slowly, falling asleep to the sounds of his steady heartbeat.

Stuart heard his whispers and smiled calming himself down and slowly stopping crying. He smiled to him when he wiped his tears. He nodded "only yours" and laid his head back down on the pillow again.

He looked down seeing Murdoc kissing his chest and chuckled. He wished he had more chest hair for him to play. It would be bluer and different.... maybe Murdoc would like as he liked odd things. He looked down to him and kissed his forehead.

Soon he began singing again till Murdoc fell asleep. He fell too after some moments.... He kept the Satanist close and caressing his hair. He knew he was tired from crying and from telling the truth.... He wasn't as used to cry as the singer. But a part of Stuart was happy he let it all out. And deep inside he had already forgiven him.


	52. Songs

It was silent as Stuart massaged him. He decided it was a good time to maybe ask some questions. "So.... Have you thought about the wedding at all?" He asked, barely above a whisper.

Stuart blushed. They spent so much time together he even forgot about the band and front man stuff...... It would be nice a band where the singer and the founder were actually a couple. He thought about how they would they fans about that. Or if they would tell. Murdoc probably won't want to tell the fans about a wedding at all.

Stuart even stopped massaging him for a moment when he asked that. "Well Muds.... To be honest it's all I think about...... But I dunno even how to start. " he chuckled nervously "I only took part in some of my family in life.... And it looks like something really tiring to organize." He said going to his legs squeezing them.  "But now that you ask it think we should do it only civil y'know? Not in a church." ‘cuz he knew Murdoc was a Satanist and he a Buddhist... It didn't make sense just ‘cuz his parents were Catholic. "Call Russel, Noodle and.... Maybe just them." He bit his lip "nothing religious related or with lots of people.... I know you don't like that.... We just need the people we love there and the ones who agree our decision right?" He whispered. "If it was on a beach we needed to choose carefully who to call ‘cuz not everyone would be able to go outta England to a beach y'know?" He knew their families lived in England and wouldn't be able to travel to a wedding. Was there any beautiful beach in the UK? He couldn't think of any as beautiful as the Jamaica ones.

"Not too many people means less food and less trouble...."he chuckled "id love a big chocolate cake with miniatures of me and you on the top.... Something related to blue and green as a decoration... Our favorite colors.... Some red roses.... Cortez bringing our rings or maybe Noodle and me dressed in a white suit and you in a black one...." he started daydreaming. "We need a judge to do it, not a priest or anything.... After we can throw a party if you want...." he said vaguely. "We could have  a stage and play for the guests.... Instead of that stupid dance they the couple do in the weddings...." he thought that he would want nothing more than be able to sing with his lover. "Who knows stairway to heaven huh? It's our song......" he chuckled. Or it could be the song playing in the background when Stuart entered down the aisle.

"Love, who you want to go with you down the aisle?" cuz he knew normally who would go together with the bride was the father. Would Murdoc want his mother to do that or something? "After we go to your brother's...... Maybe we can learn something from it right?" He was positive.

Murdoc thought about it. "Well.... Who's going to be the one given away? I think I should stand at the front, um.... I don't think I would have anyone walk up with me...." he pursed his lips. He didn't think he could ask his mother he just met to walk up with him. He was sort of alone in that aspect of his life.

"But then you could have your parents walk up with you to give you away to me, yeah? It'd be a good signifier of me being accepted into your family, you know?" He said, as he looked at the wall, feeling every muscle relaxing as he continued to rub his back.

"I agree with everything else you said. But I do think I would be fine if you invited as much of your family as you wanted." He said. He knew he'd be nervous as hell, but Stuart really liked his family and Murdoc wasn't going to make him forget about his family for him.

"I uh.... " he started, a little embarrassed at the thought. "I would like to dance with you while Stairway to Heaven played.... That's all I want...." he didn't really care what else happened at their little reception part after. He wanted to dance with Stuart. His face was beet red and he hid it into the pillow.

Stuart felt a bit sad... "Your mother could do it.... Well it’s just an idea." he said lowly. He liked Abigail and he wanted to show his family Murdoc actually HAD a family. Especially to his father.

"I can ask my father.... But i think my mother will make a fuss if she doesn’t give me away...." he chuckled, his father probably would be pissed since he doesn’t really like Murdoc.  He didn’t even know how to tell them about the wedding yet.

"I’ll call my parents Muds.... I don’t know how the rest of the family think about the accident.... My parents should have talked about it to whole family......" how whispered thinking that everyone might dislike Murdoc. Well maybe only his father's family not Rachel’s part. He swallowed hard thinking about that.

"Oh would you like, love?" he said with a smile. He loved the idea too. "It would be a pleasure dancing with you in our wedding but...." he stopped for a moment and bowed his head ashamed "I dunno how to dance..." he was really embarrassed thinking he would ruin everything being clumsy.

Can you teach me how to dance properly, Muds....?" he knew they already danced stairway to heaven once, but they were alone.... Maybe in public Murdoc would freak out ashamed. He caressed his hair. "and what you think about the wedding? Is there anything you wanna add? Do different?" he needed to know his opinion too.

Murdoc shrugged, "I guess I could ask her.... I just.... I dunno. I don't know if she'd want to do that.... You know? I've known her for, like, a week...." it would be nice. It'd mean he wasn't going to be surrounded by Pot's...... But they weren't Niccals either. His brother wouldn't come. He'd say he would, then forget or not bother.

He bit his lip as he thought about a whole room full of people that may hate him for what he did. He swallowed. That was.... Terrifying honestly. He still hadn't forgiven himself, how could he expect them to forgive him. They weren't Stuart.

Murdoc smiled and flipped himself around so he was facing Stuart. He interlocked his fingers with Stuart's and kissed them. 'I can teach you to dance any day my love. But I think you did just fine in your room." He looked up at Stuart, straight in his eyes.

"You know what I want?" He whispered, reaching up and caressing his face. "I want you. That's it. We could marry in a castle, on a beach, on a boat, or in a swamp. I don't care. I want you in a white tux, me in a black tux, and I just want to look in your eyes as I say, 'I do.' We will be the only two in the world at that moment. I don't care how many people hate me there, how many think it's a mistake, how many are there only for a goddamn party with free booze, I don't care. I just care about you. That's it and that's all I will ever care about in that moment." He whispered.

"I could ask her for you...." he mumbled quietly. Abigail was a nice person and he knew for sure the twins would want to go. Hannibal on the other hand.... Probably won’t.

Stuart sat down on the bed to hear his words. He bit his lip and squeezed his hand. It was all he wanted to. Stuart had already accepted him in his heart. In addition, at this moment he didn’t really care about other people's opinions. What mattered were he and Murdoc.

He leaned into his touch and whispered looking into his eyes "I do." smiling imagining Murdoc in a black tux. He would look hot. "You're all I care in my life...." he whispered. "Thank you for loving me...." he leaned closer and rubbed his nose against his. "think will be a lovely ceremony...." he chuckled. "I never thought I’d have you as my fiancée discussing wedding details......" he laid on his chest hearing his heart "this must be a dream......" he whispered

Murdoc smiled and pet his hair as he laid on his chest. He watched as the singer rose and fell with his chest as he steadily breathed. He felt like the luckiest man in the world.

"Your massage was wonderful btw. Thank you. I feel so relaxed now...." he purred and closed his eyes, smiling. He jumped when he heard a knock at the door.

"Oh shit the food, hold on love." He said, slowly rolling Stuart off of him and hopping up to grab it. He quickly realized he was still naked, so he quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. Then he got the food and brought it back to Stuart. It was a large Italian styled pizza.

"Bon apetit’." He chuckled as he sat on the bed with the box. He grabbed a slice and held up the tip to Stuart to take a bite. "Tell me how it tastes my love." He said.

Stuart for a second thought that Murdoc would see the door naked and he chuckled. Thankfully he didn’t.

When he came with the pizza back, his stomach growled. He blushed finally noticing how he was hungry. He bit it and it tasted amazing, even not being one of his favorite flavors. "It's delicious Muds.... Thank you. "He said with his mouth full of pizza. "Try some..." he encouraged picking a slice for him.

"Let's go outside for a walk later, love... I bet the stars on the beach should look stunning...... After we can watch a movie, drink something or I dunno...." he blushed "I want to do anything as long as its with you...." he confessed softly sounding terribly fond.

Murdoc chuckled and took a bite. He was right, it was so good. He brought his slice back and started eating. He listened to Stuart's suggestions and nodded.

"I agree. I bet it looks amazing. I'd love to take a walk with you love." He said, taking another bite. He smiled at the cute little blush the singer gave. "You look adorable, you know that?" He looked down and swallowed, remember how others thought he was adorable today as well.

"I'm sorry about today.... I am sorry you had those people all over you. I'll make sure nothing happens to you, yeah?" He whispered, looking up at Stuart. He didn't like the idea of someone else touching his singer.

Stuart looked down to his pizza "That's okay Muds.... You helped me out.... I dunno what I'd have done to defend myself from that crazy people." he played with the pizza for a bit. "I dunno, they didn’t look like they received no as an answer..." he could say he was taken that they wouldn’t believe.

"I seriously dunno what they see in me.... I mean.... I'm not that attractive, or at least I shouldn’t be...." he looked at Murdoc "I just wanted to be beautiful for you.... No one else..." he bit his lip. His life would be so much better if he didn’t catch everyone's attention in any place he went to. He should feel happy with that? Cuz he didn’t. He missed being the freak everyone ran away from those moments.

"It should be annoying for you having to deal with people around me when I'm just.... Minding my on business...." he mumbled sadly. In Murdoc’s place he would be heartbroken with that. Not really angry, Murdoc got jealous and angry about those people normally, Stuart got sad. "I'm sorry, i swear I'm not interested in any of them......"

Murdoc chuckled, "Relax Bluebird. I know. I know you're going to attract some level of attention with your looks. Remember that's why I originally chose you as my front man. And it never bothered me before we were together.... Well, actually it did. I was more jealous of you than anything else, but still. I know you're not interested." He leaned over and gave him a kiss. He tasted like pizza. He laughed and licked his lips.

"You know...." he said going back to eat his pizza. "It's actually sort of funny because back during one of my old bands, I had this friend named Billy. He was the guitarist. Him and I used each other for a quick shag once in a while, but he was a hundred times worse than I am when it came to jealousy. He was kind of an asshole, but also charming as hell too. He used to hate it when I had all the girls one me." He chuckled, still eating his pizza every now and then. He looked at Stu.

"I used to have a perm. It was afro like hair, could you believe it?" He laughed, making a gesture of how big his hair used to be. He didn't actually have all the girls on him, but he had more than Billy, and Billy hated that. He bit his lip thinking back to it.

Stuart raised a brow. Someone overjealous about Murdoc? That should be funny.... Even more being a lad. He thought only girls were like that. He felt a bit better now. Slightly jealous himself but oh well

"I can’t even imagine someone a hundred times worse than you in jealousy......and you really have something with guitarists huh?" he chuckled and bite his pizza remembering Paula. He thought Murdoc was the most jealous person in the world but this Billy sounded worse.  He should run around with a stick to hit the girls. "Were you in a relationship with him at least so he could have a reason to be jealous about you....? How you deal with that?" he asked curiously.

"Perm?" he laughed out loud "Jesus Christ Mu’doc.... Should look terrible.... " he took the last bite of his slice "I can’t believe birds would go all over you if you had a bloody poodle on your head..." he laughed even more. "Glad you decided to change it.... You should have seen me when I bleached my hair.... I bleached even my brows...." he raised them "I looked like I had none.... No brows and no chicks for Stu...." he joked.

Murdoc snorted with a mouth full of pizza and started coughing, accidentally choking on it. He bent over coughing, trying to get the little bit of food out of his airway. Once he did, he started laughing again, his eyes watering. He laughed so hard his ribs hurt.

When he finally felt okay enough to talk, he looked at Stu, "Oh fuck, Stuart. That sounds hilarious, I bet you looked sickly. And yes, it was a bloody poodle, but I’ll have you know, that was the hairdo at the time!" He laughed and winked.

Murdoc thought back to Billy, it'd been a while since he'd thought about him. "Nah, we weren't in any relationship. He'd just come to me when he wanted to get his rocks off. Usually I'd be talking to some women and he'd come over, pissed and drag me out of there to fuck me in a nearby bathroom or alley or wherever. I think he was more just possessive." He shrugged. "He was a rough one. He helped me create the band so I don't know if he felt I owed him or something.... We'd get done and I'd be pretty sore, but then he'd take care of me.... Sorta." He thought back to it. Maybe it was more of him using his charm than anything else actually.

"Anyways, he's in jail now." Murdoc said casually, finishing his pizza. He hadn't realized how hungry he was.

Stuart began laughing as well bit he wasn't eating pizza anymore. He grabbed another slice for him watching Murdoc laughing. He was happy Murdoc was laughing, even if it was cuz he didn't have brows. "I wish I had a picture to show you... " he wanted to see Murdoc in a perm too.

He nodded to his explanation about Billy. "Well you were a tease since then I can tell, poodle boy...." he joked shoving him playfully.

He thought about Murdoc owning him something about Gorillaz. However, that was clearly not the case. Murdoc loved him. And the singer knew that. He choked a bit when he heard jail. Murdoc never had good companies. At least Stu was one. "Yeah I think I like you being possessive about me.... It's hot sometimes." He shrugged. "Possessive and patient about those people." He sighed. "And I thought you didn't bottom to anyone huh....?" He narrowed his eyes eating his pizza. "He should be really rough for you couldn't tell him no...." he said lowly.

Murdoc shrugged. "I only bottomed to him. Not like I had much of a choice. Asshole wouldn't let me top...." he growled. "I uh.... I actually forgot about him, you know? He was more charming than I am, can you believe it? Very manipulative. Our thing was usually a fist fight before sex." He said, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it after he finished his pizza. "Dude was a real prick, but he did help me out a lot. It was kind of like I was in your role and he was in mine. At least I didn't do that to you when I was jealous. I thought it was normal, till I found out it wasn't." He said puffing on his cigarette. Although he did hit Stuart. He blew out the smoke of his cigarette as he thought about how much he'd probably taken personality wise from Billy.

He looked at Stuart, sitting back. "Yeah, everything was pretty rough and wild back then. I was on speed a lot, so I'm sure that didn't help. Glad I got off that shit." He said, taking another puff. "It was kind of weird though, having someone possessive like that over me.... I don't....  I don't ever want to get like that with you Stuart. I want to be possessive at a normal level, you know? Nothing unhealthy, yeah? That ever happens, hit me over the bloody head, yeah?" He said, puffing more on his cigarette and looking at Stuart.

'Possessive at a normal level' Stuart fought for a moment. Maybe it was really dangerous possessive at Billy's level. Billy didn't know how it was good bottom to a sex god, he thought.

"Hard to imagine someone more charming than you...." maybe his brother.... But Hannibal didn't come to the case. "I guess everyone has a good side.... Or something...." he mumbled eating more pizza. He didn't know what to think about that. But if Murdoc forgot him he should too. He was glad Billy helped him tho.

Stuart couldn't really think about possessiveness. He was jealous cuz he loved Murdoc since the very beginning. It was something related to feelings not manipulation. Therefore, his brain didn't understand how could someone be jealous not feeling anything about the other person. Sweet heart he had

"So I bet you don't want me to be too possessive if you too right? Only at normal levels...." he chuckled "I’ll hit you if you try to threaten someone with a stick.... Promise...." he thought for a second "which drugs have you already tried Muds.... And which ones were the worst or ok regret the most....? Did you reached the point of being addicted to any? I mean besides booze...." he asked curiously looking at him.

Murdoc snorted, "Baby, you can be as possessive of me as you want to be. I don't mind." He purred. "I think it's cute when you're possessive, but you don't get physical when you're possessive or jealous. You get pouty." He chuckled. "I wouldn't mind if you got a little physical about it sometimes.... You know I don't mind a little whipping." He laughed and winked at Stuart.

Murdoc was surprised by the drug question. He thought about it. "Might be easier to name the ones I haven't done. You know, the usual marijuana, opium, codeine, amphetamines, molly, coke, uh.... Christ, all the versions of all those. Uh.... I got addicted to the amphetamines. Was a little bit of a crazy time. I'd usually go on these crazy runs. I'd take it over and over and just.... Never sleep, hardly ate for days on end, then crash hard. I felt like I could do anything. A million things at once."

"Molly was my favorite. It's sort of like a hallucinogen and amphetamine together. That one didn't last as long, however. I think the worst was Rohypnol. Used that as an aid to get off the amphetamines, but fuck, if I took too much it'd knock me out and I'd forget some of the time before I got knocked out. I couldn't ask a doc for help, I was taking it illegally obviously." He flicked the ash off his cigarette in an ashtray, nearly forgetting he had it. Then he took another puff and looked at Stuart, hoping he'd answered his questions okay.

"I mean, to be honest, I regret all of them. They all fucked me up somehow. I hardly remember the fuckin 80’s and what I do remember it wasn't great. Billy was the one who actually got me hooked on a few of those. Prick...." he spat. He knew he should have never done that shit, he was lucky he was even alive.

Stuart leaned against the wall and folded his arms to hear his explanation once his pizza as done. He looked at him seriously. He just tried weed once and it was nice but together with his pills made him so lethargic he couldn't even stay awake.

"Wow, Muds....I'm glad you're alive and you regret all that...." he knew he couldn't survive to that if he did the same. "I think I can tell you that I tried this much in my life.... But from analgesics and antidepressants.... Codeine, Vicodin, Percocet, tramadol, Oxycontin, fluoxetine, Xanax...... At the hospital my mother worked I could have access to almost any medicine." He told him not proudly but it was the truth "some of them when I popped for fun had different reactions in me.... It was fun at that time but.... I could have died...."

He looked down "I played to discover.... How many pills or shots I needed to be high.... But not pass out. Stupid experiment, innit? Unnecessary to say that sometimes I passed.... And my mother thought I was tired...." he shook his head and laughed. "Not I surprise I was in my bedroom most of my teen years...." he didn't know how he didn't try any drug. Maybe cuz he didn't have friends to offer him.

"I just didn't mixed with booze.... It was far too dangerous to me.... And if you know what, I regret doing that...... The times I puked.... I couldn't remember anything.... Thank God I was alone.... Someone could have taken advantages on me if I was high and unable to speak or run away...." he said lowly

Murdoc nodded and got up to walk over to the singer, wrapping his arms around his waist and looking up at him. "That was dumb of you." He brought a hand up and brushed hair out of his face "I wish I could have been there with you instead. It sounds like we were two people that needed each other." He whispered. He reached up and kissed him gently. He didn't like the thought of Stuart alone and high, taken advantage of. He knew that feeling all too well. It wasn't something you wanted to remember.

He pulled away. "Although it does sound like if I had known you back then, I probably would have tried to use you to get high." He frowned. "I definitely was a different person then Stu. One you wouldn't have liked."

He looked at his face, "I hate when I find you high.... Just like I'm sure you hate it when you find me passed out.... Can we both agree to no more?" He whispered, caressing his cheek.

" I think I was unhappy and bored Muds... I'd never do this sober and thinking straight y'know? Especially happy as I am now...." He leaned closer him laying his head on his shoulder.

"I was a different person too, love.... I would have let you use me.... I actually could have even liked it.... At least id have attention from someone...." he said sadly and hid his face on his chest. He was really lonely back then. When he was almost raped by that guy he was sober and could try something to prevent him.... But when he was high.... He was totally different and unresponsive. He couldn’t defend himself.

He looked at him seriously. "No.... I don't hate Muds...... I hate when you're drunk and.... Being an ass.... When you pass out I feel......" he looked up "heartbroken.... Sad.... Desperate...." he was being honest anger wouldn't help Murdoc passed out. He caressed his chest hair to calm down."I feel like I failed.... Cuz I would have prevented you from drinking till passing out y'know....? But I feel relieved too.... At least you are just blacked out but safe...."

Murdoc pet the singer's hair and smiled. "I love you Stuart. I was at a hard time in my life. You deserve someone who isn't like that.... And I'm trying hard not to be, you know? I want to be exactly what you deserve love. No more of that shit, if I can help it. Okay?" He grabbed his face between his hands and had him look up at him.

"And don't ever let anyone use you.... Got it? Not even me. No more of that shit. You need to stand up for yourself Stuart. You're a handsome individual with skills. You could have the world if you wanted. Don't shoot any lower, understand me?" He said sternly. He wanted Stuart to know he was worth more. He didn't want him to ever go back to that old Stuart that got high. He pet his hair and rubbed his cheek.

Stuart nodded to his statement. He felt like he was being honest. He really meant those words. He looked at him deeply. His eyes stung with tears slightly he wasn't used to someone telling him those words. He was used to being told how he was stupid and a clumsy hollow head.... Actually Murdoc who used to tell him that, hearing something different was actually really nice coming from him.

"I-I will Muds...." he promised and nodded. "I want to have the world only if I can have you with me......" he said softly being honest. He kept looking at him fondly. He most of the time didn't think he was a skilful handsome human being. However, if Murdoc told him he was he would believe him. He leaned closer sitting on his lap curling like a ball.

Murdoc smiled and rubbed his back for a little bit. He looked outside and saw how lit it was outside with the moon. It'd be perfect to walk outside together. He leaned down to whisper in Stuart's ear.

"Would you like to go for a walk now love?" He ran his hand through his hair. He wished he would have waited to propose now.... Nevertheless, they wouldn't be here if he hadn't proposed in the first place so he supposed it didn't matter. He might do it again when he had the rings next time.

Stuart smiled and nodded frantically "please Muds!" He looked through the window and it was really stunning even with his not so good vision he could see the stars and the moon. He quickly stood up and waited Murdoc to do the same. It was so romantic outside. And they were totally alone in that house. "Let’s turn off all the lights...... So we will only see the sky...." he offered him softly.

Murdoc laughed and grabbed a flashlight. He then also grabbed a few other things from his bag, just in case they'd need it. He also grabbed a giant blanket so they could sit outside together. He put it all in a small backpack so he could just sling that on his back.

He grabbed Stuart's hand and they turned off all the lights and walked outside. It was quite, the small lull of the water and some wind blowing over the landscape could be heard. The stars were gorgeous and the mood reflected off the water beautifully. It was all breathtaking.

Stuart's eyes widened and he smiled wide. It seemed like a dream. So different from their home. He squeezed his hand while walking outside "Muds...... It's beautiful......" he whispered mesmerized. The sound of the waves crashing, the salt smell.... It was all perfect.

He looked up to the stars and chuckled. It was so stunning he couldn't even believe he was there. His hand went to his mouth covering it. All the stars and the moon reflected into his void eyes. And he was showing his gap so wide he was smiling.

He looked at Murdoc and whispered, "Thank you, my love...."

Murdoc nodded, smiled and whispered, "You're most welcome my love." He gave his hand a slight squeeze, glad the singer was happy. He walked with him and stood in a spot between the ocean and their house.

"You want me to lay the blanket out and we can look up at the stars together?" He asked. He would prefer that as to actually just walking because he was only in flip-flops and walking in the dark was a pain in the ass, plus Stuart was clumsy. It was only a matter of time till he tripped to. He chuckled to himself.

He looked at him and silently whispered a "please" as he didn't want to ruin the moment by making any noise. He could be singing by that as he was really happy bloated even. "I want to look up at the stars with the man I love......" he whispered to him smiling. Stuart was totally mesmerized by the sky at that time. He thought again he could stop the time with him right there.

Murdoc smiled and set the blanket up, laying down and having Stuart use his arm to rest his head on. He looked up at the stars, incredibly mesmerized. He looked over at Stuart and could see the faint glow of his outline. He looked happy, from what Murdoc could see.

"Can you...... Can you sing?" He whispered. He didn't know if Stuart would want to, but his singing would make this moment perfect. It was all he could ever ask for. If the world ended right now, he'd be in the perfect spot, with the perfect person, in the perfect moment.

Stuart smiled even wider.... " of course I can my love...... Anytime.... Is there anything specific you want me to sing my love......?" He whispered to him and grabbed his hand caressing it softly. Murdoc’s eyes were shining so beautifully, especially his red one.

Murdoc smiled wide. "Can you sing, Shine On You Crazy Diamond?" He whispered. He thought it fit in perfect here. He brought his hand up and kissed it softly. "Hearing your voice will make this night perfect...."

Stuart smiled. He knew that by heart,, he loved the album where this song came from. He nodded to his request and silently began.

 

_Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun._

_Shine on you crazy diamond._

_Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky......_

_He sung looking at him and forgetting the stars for a moment. He was so beautiful for the singer. He wanted that moment to never end._

_Shine on you crazy diamond._

_You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,_

_Blown on the steel breeze._

_Come on you target for faraway laughter,_

_He smiled and run his fingers through his hair singing._

 

Murdoc turned to him, enjoying his fingers running through his hair. He closed his eyes and sang along with just a small part of the next song. He knew this song by heart, having listened to it constantly when he was younger.

"You reached for the secret too soon. You cried for the moon. Shine on, you crazy diamond."

He grabbed Stuart's hand and put it on the side of his face, against his cheek and he nuzzled it. He was so in love, he never thought he'd ever get to experience anything like this in his lifetime. Ever. He still felt like he was in a dream and he'd wake up, back to when he was taking care of Stuart in his coma.

Stuart found cute the way he grabbed his hand to caress his face. It was something childish, but Murdoc had those moments he just needed care. He caressed his face slowly.

He loved hearing Murdoc singing together with him. Their voices were so different they made a good duo for the singer. He leaned closer him and kissed his lips gently when he stopped singing. Hee wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer singing into his ear just for him.

He was surprised when the singer pulled him close. He smiled and wrapped his arms around him as well. He nuzzled his face into Stuart's chest and snuggled close to him. He kept thinking about all the firsts he got to do with the singer, snuggling being one. Being sung to like this was definitely one of them.

He singing in his ear sent a shiver down his spine. His eyes stung with tears, but they were happy tears. He felt ridiculous for wanting to cry at a moment like this. He hated crying, he really did. He also thought happy tears were ridiculous, he didn't want to ruin this moment by crying like an emotional mess. He hugged Stuart tighter.

Stuart began singing into his ear just to sound more intimate. He didn’t want to turn him on or anything. He noticed him a bit shaken and hugging him close. He smiled. Murdoc looked so cute now. He looked he was about to cry. Was it something bad?

He shifted Murdoc so he was with his face against his chest and he rubbed his back and kept singing for him and kissing his hair every now and then. He run his fingers through it.

"I love you...... Thank you for existing Mu’doc...." he whispered to him calmly kissing his forehead. "I'm so happy I’ll marry you, love......" he said honestly into his ear whispering with a half broken voice. It was really a touching moment for him.

Murdoc snorted. "I don't think anyone's ever thanked me for existing, Bluebird. You really know how to stroke my ego.... Thank you for existing as well. Thank you for having such a lovely voice...... Thank you for loving me.... Even when I'm an ass." He mumbled into his chest.

"I'm so lucky I get you all to myself...." he whispered. He looked up at the singer and kissed his lips softly. He didn't want it to end. He didn't want to share him with anyone. He held him closer, as if that's exactly what he planned to do too.

Stuart chuckled softly before kissing him.  "Well another first time I guess...." he rubbed his back "don't mention it love......" he whispered sniffling his hair. It still smelled like the ocean.

"Only for you Muds...." he poked his nose playfully going back to watch the stars "thank you for bringing me here.... It's breathtaking really...." he pointed to the sky "Look, look Mu’doc it's a shooting star...... Make a wish make a wish...." he said closing his eyes and putting his tongue out playfully. He frowned thinking about a good wish.

Murdoc chuckled as he saw Stu close his eyes and stick out his tongue to make a wish. He didn't believe in that kind of stuff, but he would play along with his singer. He smiled and lifted himself and kissed Stuart's forehead. "You're too bloody adorable." He whispered against his forehead.

He laid back onto his back and looked back up at the stars. He reached his hand out, as if he could grab a cluster of them and hold them in his palm. "Can you imagine there's so many worlds out there that we'll never know about? That'll never know about us? Or our band? Poor sods." He laughed.

Stuart was focused in his wish when he heard Murdoc complimenting him. He blushed with that sweet little kiss. He made his wish before he got unfocused. Something about him and Murdoc never leaving each other...... And things working out for them.

He looked at him while he lifted his hand and smiled. He chuckled "I bet there are many......" he laid on his back looking at the stars with Murdoc "many worlds that won’t know I'm marrying the most incredible and charming man that ever lived...." he teased grabbing his hand.

"At least in this world we found each other..." he joked smiling. "You know any names of constellations, Muds....?" he asked still looking at the stars.

Murdoc snorted, "Actually I know quite a few of them. I usually looked at the stars a lot as a kid so.... I took the time to learn them. Here in Jamaica, you can see the tail of Draco...." he followed a few stars in a small line that gets hidden by the horizon. "It's right next to Usra Minor, which is visible there.... Ursa Major is just to the left." He pointed. "Lynx is just above that.... Oh there's Andromeda in the Pegasus constellation." He said excited. He never had a reason before to name out the constellations he learned. He always thought they might be helpful to know if he was ever lost.

He turned to Stuart. "Sometimes, when I was younger, I'd walk the streets of Stoke at night. It'd be hard to tell where I was and I got lost of a few times.... Even if I didn't really want to go home.... So I looked up one night and saw the stars and started doing some research. I remember hearing how those constellations where always the same groups of stars and some could help point you in certain directions, you know? That way, if I was away from that sodding house, I could eventually make my way back." He said, putting his hand up again, as if to touch them.

Stuart smiled wide. He didn't think Murdoc would take time as a child to see the stars. But it was a sweet surprise. He thought stoke was too polluted to see the sky. He followed with his bad sight where Murdoc was pointing at trying to memorize those names. He could see the constellations he was explaining. He was even more mesmerized by the sky after that. He bit his lip as a curious child. Imagining the sky full of drawings. Murdoc was even more intelligent than he thought. He was even more in love now.

He looked at Murdoc when he turned to talk to him. He walking through those streets alone sounded so.... Sad to think about. He probably would do it drunk or after being beat up.... To escape his father and his miserable life. He tried to avoid those bad thoughts focusing in him. He knew for sure that time Murdoc didn't want to find a way back to his house.... That wasn't a home really.

"So.... If one day we're apart.... They can use them to find us back together I think... Our way back home right?." he tried to sound romantic but it sounded much better into his head. He decided to lay on his chest to watch the starts. He did as Murdoc trying to grab one. There was one shining more than the others, he focused on it cuddling with Murdoc hugging him tight still thinking of him as a child.

Murdoc combed his fingers through the singer's hair gently, lovingly. He laughed, "I get what you mean Bluebird. It's a romantic gesture." He purred. "I like the idea of being able to find each other again if we get lost...." he wrapped an arm around Stuart and kissed the top of his head.

He chuckled to himself, "I used to think that kind of romantic crap was just that.... Crap. I hated it. I used to be disgusted at the thought of depending on someone.... Needing someone.... Having to rely on someone. I never had to before, why the hell would I ever need to? I like it though.... I like this." He hugged him closer. "I always saw how much my dad went through women when I was younger, I thought that was just the way it was. I thought love was a scam.... Or a fairy tale...." he whispered.

Stuart closed his eyes listening to him and feeling his fingers through his hair. It was so soothing. He thought about what he said.

"Well Muds.... I think...." he stopped a moment trying to put his thoughts in order. He never thought about that really. "I think I'm romantic y'know?" He chuckled "Even when I was high.... And alone....young dumb and thinking no one cared about me" he tried to sound dramatic "I wanted to have that special person to be with me.... Just like I watched my parents together.... I wanted to have someone like they had each other y'know....? I thought I needed someone to take care of me and put up with my stupidity" He lifted a bit from his chest to look into his eyes.

"The problem was that.... I never thought no one would be interested is someone as slow and as stupid as me...." he looked down "someone who's not.... Clever, strong.... Or charming.... Just a lad.... A blue lad who likes zombie movies and keyboards..." he smiled "I thought I had so little to offer that id never find someone who would fall in love with me.... But...." he looked at Murdoc "I always believed in love tho.... Never thought was crap. I just thought it wasn’t for me... Or for people like me." he said lowly. "When I was high I even had dreams about having someone...."

"Are you happy now that you...... Depend on someone.... Need someone.... I mean, me....?" It was odd for the singer knowing someone needed him. Especially someone as self sufficient as Murdoc. The difference between what Stuart saw when little and what Murdoc saw was evident. But they both found true love.... Even not thinking they deserved.

 "You wanted to find love, Muds....? Or you still think it's all.... Y'know.... Fake?" He bit his lip. Maybe Murdoc didn't know what was love cuz he never felt. Or he assumed he was in love with Stu even not knowing what it was. "Cuz I know it seems like a dream now.... A fairy tale. And I'm really happy loving you." He blushed.

Murdoc laughed at him saying he was the romantic type. Stuart could be, he supposed, but he was a little too unaware sometimes to let anyone else on that he's romantic, but that's also why he loved him. He gave Murdoc a chance to be the romantic one for him. Murdoc listened to him and pet his hair as Stuart talked. Stuart had always had dreams like that.... Murdoc wondered just how lonely it was to hope and not have it. He was lucky to never want it until it was thrust upon him.

Murdoc caressed his cheek gently, nodding. "I am happy Bluebird. And I don't think it's crap anymore. I can see why everyone would want something like this, you know? It's so much more than I thought it would be. I had to learn a lot with you, like how to trust you more and how to be more dependent on you and more reliable for you. Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever say that to you. But when you confessed and cried, my heart just sort of.... Started beating, you know? It's like when you said the words, it clicked for me. And I couldn't be happier." He whispered, looking down at him and smiling. "Is it everything you hoped and dreamed?" He chuckled, brushing a strand of blue from his face.

Stuart smiled to him back and leaned into his touch. He listened to him. His eyes watered, he chuckled and hugged him tight "Yeah it is Muds.... Much more than I thought I'd deserve." He nuzzled his face into his chest "I'm so glad you're happy...... That I can make you happy...." he sighed. "I love you so much......" he whispered squeezing him "thank you for everything......"

Murdoc smiled and rubbed his back. "I love you too Bluebird.... No, thank you love." He whispered and looked up into the night sky. It was quiet, warm, and peaceful. He couldn't think of a better moment in time.

After a time he started humming the song 'Simple Man'. He wasn't sure why it popped into his head, but it was a nice song, so he felt the need to him a long. When it got to a certain set of lyrics near the end, he decided to sing them out to Stuart. He kept looked at the sky as his hand pet his hair.

"Boy, don't you worry, you'll find yourself. Follow your heart and nothing else, and you can do this, oh baby, if you try. All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied. And be a simple kind of man. Oh, be something you love and understand, so baby be a simple kind of man. Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can" he closed with kissing Stuart's hand.

Stuart listened to him singing. He wasn’t expecting something like that but it was an adorable surprise. Murdoc would only start singing if he felt really safe. He hoped he was feeling safe now with him.

 

_Baby, be a simple, really simple man_

_Oh, be something you love and understand_

_Baby, be a simple, kind of simple man_

 

"Oh yes, I will...." he whispered softly looking into his eyes "You really like Lynyrd don’t you, Muds....? I have a favorite from them...... And It's not "Free Bird...." but...." he smiled "I’ll show you only if you dance with me...." he pouted and folded his arms. He was feeling playful right now. "I bet you know which is." he laughed. It wasn’t a really famous song of them, but Stuart loved it.

Murdoc smiled, "I like them, yeah. They're one of my favorites that are more appropriate to sing to you. Unless you want me to sing Dios to you." He laughed.

Murdoc slowly got up with Stuart. "Fine, fine. You know I’ll do anything to hear you sing." He said as he brushed any sand off of him. He put his hands on Stuart's waist and had him rest his arms on his shoulders, which wasn't hard since Stuart was so much taller. Then he looked into his black eyes, only partially lit by the moon.

"Alright love. I'm ready." He whispered, giving him a sweet kiss.

"God I'm half naked and you’re naked dancing on the beach alone..." he shook his head "God this must be love or not?" he teased and blinked to him. Maybe dancing on the sand wouldn’t be the best idea, but oh well.

"Well I wanna sing for you my favorite.... And after when we head to bed, one I used to listen that...." he blushed "I think now I know what the lyrics meant a bit better......" he whispered and bit his lip. He would actually dedicate it to Murdoc just was ashamed of telling him.

He did the same as the Satanist holding his waist and his shoulders, something much easier to him considering their heights. He tried to fing a position that his feet would be firm on the sand but it was too soft. Okay, let's focus in not falling. He started shyly hoping Murdoc knew the song at least.

 

_My daddy told me always be strong son_

_Don't you ever cry_

_You find the pretty girls, and then you love them_

_And then you say goodbye_

_I never dreamed that you would leave me_

_But now you're gone_

_I never dreamed that I would miss you_

_Woman won't you come back home_

He swayed remembering the melody of it. It was a happy and dancing one.... Unfortunatelly the album didn’t have the best backstory.... The whole accident and all that. But the song had a happy melody. He wish they were really listening to it and not only Stuart singing. The waves crashed and that song always made Stuart want to fly high or something.... It was so soothing, and it was a love song too in a way.

Murdoc chuckled. "I told you I'd be naked if I could. I don't care. I'm with you, that's all that matters." He gripped Stuart's hips firmly as they walked out together further into the sand. He knew how Stuart was a little clumsy and, with him being naked, he didn't want to fall either.

Murdoc was curious which song he would sing. He knew most of Skynyrd but there were still quite a few to choose from that could be sung here. He waited, ignoring the waves in the background and all other sounds. Right now, it was just Stuart he focused on.

When he started singing, he knew the song immediately. He smiled wide and swayed with him, just listening to Stuart's soothing voice. Stuart could sing all the words in a dictionary and Murdoc would still love it. He knew, the second he heard him sing way back after his coma that his voice was all he ever wanted. He put his head on Stuart's shoulder.

Stuart knew the moment he smiled he recognized the song. He was so happy now. Stuart hugged him and stopped swaying for a while. He just looked at the sand and sung for him into his ear lowly.... He caressed his hair lovingly and kissed his temple multiple times keeping him close.

He held him like he was the most precious thing in whole world. And for Stuart he really was. Naked in the middle of a beach...... Deeply in love. They could marry right that moment he wouldn’t mind at all. After a while when the music stopped he just embraced him and focused on their breathings. Their hearts racing. On how much he loved the shorter male.

Murdoc held him close as he sung into his ear. He shivered at the closeness, the intimacy of it. He loved the singer’s hands in his hair and his soft lips against his forehead. He wanted to stay here forever, to be in his arms forever. He still thought of his arms like wings, they were so much longer than Murdoc’s, he felt like they fully wrapped around him with ease. He usually hated being so short, but he really didn't mind it now.

He lifted his head and brought his hand up to Stuart's chin and tilted him down towards him. He gave him a long, deep kiss. He slipped his tongue into his mouth and played with his. He just focused on being with him, his taste, his smell, his touch. He'd never felt so connected with anyone before. Stuart was his and only his.

He pulled away ever so slightly, and whispered, "I love you...."

Stuart was in trance with that kiss he kissed him back with the same passion and looked into his eyes after he broke the kiss. He caressed his face gently smiling "I love you too...." he whispered rubbing his nose against the Satanist's.

"Let's get back inside love......? Or you still wanna see the stars....? I think we can have an amazing vision from the bedroom's window...." he whispered to him. "I wanna make out with you before we sleep...." he blushed a bit sounding that honest.

Murdoc just chuckled, "You wanna make out with me huh? You know Murdoc Niccals will never say no to that." He kissed his lips again, then turned to clean up the blanket and grab his bag. He then held Stuart's hand and walked with him back to the beach house.

"Come on love." He said softly, as he walked with him to the bed. He laid back on it with Stuart on his chest. They had the same amount of light shining in from the moon, and he could see the outline of Stuart's face. He combed his fingers through his hair, smiling and just enjoying the moment.

Stuart chuckled "Well Stuart Niccals can’t say no to that either...." he teased watching Murdoc pick all things up again into right place. He walked with him back inside.

He gently laid with the Satanist and he was right, the vision from he bedroom was stunning. He slightly turned his face with his fingertips whispering I love you against his lips and going to kiss him passionately pulling him closer on him. He wrapped his ridiculously long legs around him and cupped his face with one hand deepening the kiss.

Murdoc kissed him back, his hands moving to Stuart's side, rubbing up and down gently. His skin was soft, or at least softer than his own. His kiss was soft but passionate, he could tell it was filled with love. He pulled away after a few moments to catch his breath.

"You, my love, are an excellent kisser. Maybe it's the lack of front teeth." He teased and kissed his nose. "Do you ever want to get new teeth?" He asked, suddenly curious as to why he hasn't. "Don't you miss having teeth?" He chuckled and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

Stuart laughed at his statement catching his breath. "Maybe it is...." he said quietly. He never thought he was a good kissed at all.... Lack of experience maybe. Paula never told him that.

"Well...... My parents told me that I could get new teeth if I wanted and try to treat the hyfema...." he frowned "But you were so excited about me being front man...... That I thought that if I changed something in my teeth my voice would change too or something...... “He looked at him "You know how I pronounce the s right? It wasn't like that before the accident...." he chuckled he had a sh pronounce since then, fink somefink some words really changed. "I didn't want to ruin getting into your band changing my appearance so I never suggested getting them fixed and...... You never complained so I just managed to learn how to do stuff without them.... Some still difficult tho...." he licked where his teeth were suppose to be. "Well sucking cock without them isn't difficult I must say...." he laughed. There were lots of things lack of teeth turned hard for the singer to do. But Murdoc didn't need to know.

Murdoc felt a little guilty. He really liked Stuart without the teeth. He thought it fit his image really well and everyone knew it. He stroked his cheek with his thumb. He wasn't sure if having teeth would do anything to his voice, but he was so used to it now, it would seem weird if he suddenly got teeth now.

"Well.... I love you without your teeth, I think it fits your look, but I wouldn't say no to you getting fake ones if you wanted. I think you're handsome with or without them...." he whispered. "I had to take care of you when you still had them, remember?" He was, of course, very loosely using the words "take care of." He still felt bad about not taking proper care of the kid. He bit his lip, feeling like a total ass.

Stuart looked at him with his big black orbs while he caressed his cheek. He chuckled "My love.... I keep falling flat on my face all the time.... If I get new teeth they would be broken in a heartbeat." He joked but it was half true. He blushed at his compliment.

"I'm not taking new ones Muds.... I'm already used to be without them. And if you think it fits my look how am I suppose to change that huh? You're my husband." He sweetly smiled and booped his nose. "I want our wedding pictures with me as I am....smiling and showing my gap proudly" he said honestly "thank God I just broke two...... If I had broken more id definitely have to put fake ones... " he chuckled.

"And I know you took care of me with them.... But .... That time I didn't eat much did I?" He chuckled but it wasn't funny. "How did I look with my teeth Muds?" He wished Murdoc had taken a picture or something.

Murdoc blushed when be called him his husband. It always threw him off. It was probably the one word he never thought he'd be called. Stuart's nose boop only made it sweeter.

"No, you really didn't eat much. We had to put a, uh, feeding tube in you." He cringed, remembering seeing him like that the first time. It had freaked him out a little, seeing him choke on the tube, automatically, as it was put down his throat. He shivered, but then he focused his thoughts on how he'd looked.

"You had looked good obviously. Your blue hair and your ridiculously gorgeous blue eye and all your teeth. I bloody hated you at the time, but looking back, you were still quite handsome." He said, also remembering all the shit he'd done to him in that state. His shoulders slumped, disappointed in himself.

"Yeah.... I know you hated me." He whispered sadly and laid on his chest again. He thought that if he never came outta the coma Murdoc might never had fallen in love with him.... That made him feel a bit sadder thinking about.

"Muds.... I know you didn't like taking care of my in coma but...... Were you mean with me....? Like did you ever did something with y'know...  My body....? Just cuz you were angry of being stuck with me?" He whispered playing with his chest hair. He knew it wasn't his fault he was in a coma.... He just wanted to know how much Murdoc hated it at that time. Or if he did something really hideous with the singer back then.... Or it was all anger but he didn't take on the singer.

Murdoc stiffened at the question. He knew they'd have to talk about it in more detail someday, but he didn't think it'd be today. He bit his lip, remaining quiet, unsure how to start. He went back to petting his hair slowly.

"Look.... I know it doesn't excuse anything, but I want to start off by saying I wasn't.... Wasn't in the right frame of mind. I had just spent ten years trying to get multiple bands off the ground and running. The one before I had crashed into you had been going okay, with my guitarist Billy, yeah? But then he went to jail and the band just fell apart...." he said slowly. He couldn't look at Stuart.

"Then I ran into your window. Into you. I needed a band. I was desperate. I didn't think anyone would be there.... But there you were. And when I got out to check on you, you were bleeding and I thought you were dead. I thought I would be in jail for life.... At least that would have been easier than continuing on with my shit life, right?" He swallowed, feeling sick that he had thought like that.

"Then, I got stuck in that shit life with a million hours of community service, and then.... You.... But not alive you, it was coma you. I was already barely able to take care of myself. I had no money, my apartment was a shithole.... And they expected me to take care of you. How was I supposed to find a job between all that?"

"Anyways...." he continued cautiously, "I.... May have taken out some aggression on you. I didn't outright beat you, but a slap, a shove, neglect...." he turned his head and looked to the side, unable to look at Stuart.

"I used to hate you.... When I'd come home after looking for a job or when I got a job, exhausted and I had to take care of you.... And I couldn't eat since I didn't have money.... I couldn't sleep because I had to take care of you.... I could go out with friends cause of that either.... I'd sit you on my couch and you'd stare out with your dead eye.... I'd go over to the couch and.... Shove you onto the floor.... I'd eventually pick you back up and put you on the couch next to me again, but.... I hated you." He whispered. He felt awful, but he knew he needed to tell him the truth.

"There was one time.... Only once.... I ever let my guard down with you.... I, uh, may have been doing some.... Dirtier things for money and I got beat up and mugged. So I came home and there your dad was with you. He brought you up, said I looked like hell, then he talked to you.... He usually did that every time he dropped you off with me, but this time.... I dunno. It hit me harder. He told you he loved you, you'd always be his son, and he'd always be there for you. After he left I looked at you, hating you for how your father could say such nice things to you, even in a bloody coma, falling on deaf ears.... I broke down.... Violently. I cried for a while. I grabbed you by your shirt collar and yelled at you, tears streaming down my face, then I dug my face into your chest and just.... Cried." He said. He brought a hand up to his eyes, covering his face. He hated himself more than anything in the world right now.

"I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry...." he whispered with a shaky breath.

Stuart listened to him speaking but didn't dare to lift his head. He knew Murdoc wouldn't be looking at him and look at his face now would only make him much less comfortable than he already wasn't to talk about that. He respected his moment. It was stistt who asked for it.

His heart broke hearing Murdoc wanted rather be in jail than living his life. How miserable was him? And he wasn't even living with his dad anymore. Stuart curled thinking about that. Even not wanting and knowing that it was Murdoc’s fault he felt like a burden. Like he had ruined a life of a person that was already ruined. Why did everything had to be difficult for them.? Why couldn't they just met up under another circumstances.... ? Everything needed to be so tragic. He felt even sadder.

He knew Murdoc should have hit him. He couldn't remember but he did this after when he was fully awake so he was suspicious he wouldn't do it while he was unconscious. He wouldn’t be able to defend himself and would be easier for Murdoc to focus all his anger on him. He sighed at least he didn't do much. Stuart was expecting for that answer already.

 He imagined Murdoc unable to eat and unable to sleep or have a social life cuz of him and he felt even worse.

He hearing he hated him made his chest ache. Those were words not even joking he would want to hear from Murdoc. But that was the truth and another time in his life.

He heard about his father and his heart broke a bit more. He knew his father loved and cared about him. But it should have really hit Murdoc as his father hated him. He pressed his hand on his chest where Murdoc was at that occasion. Like he could feel him still.

He heard his apologies and tried to answer "that okay, Muds.... It's past.... I forgave you...... And I'm glad you told me the truth." He whispered to him and pulled him close feeling his heart in pieces. He even felt like crying. But wouldn't do it now. Murdoc would feel even worst.

Murdoc felt his eyes stinging as he heard Stuart say he forgave him. His hand was still hiding his face. He didn't want to cry again, not twice in one night. The whole intimacy of the night was really throwing his emotions into a frenzy. He was feeling so disappointed in himself at the moment.

"I'm sorry...." he said again in a whisper, his hand shaking slightly, while he sniffled, trying to hold it back. "Christ.... You didn't do anything and I still hated you.... Then you woke up and I found out you had the most beautiful voice and...." he clenched his teeth, "you idolized me. You shouldn't have.... After all I did. I think I kept abusing you cause I felt you should hate me.... I didn't want to admit it...." he whispered, his voice choking up slightly.

"I didn't deserve it.... I don't deserve this now. For an entire year I hated you.... I didn't have a good reason. I'm so sorry Stuart. I'm so sorry." He choked out, hand still over his face. He was shaking slightly.

His heart broke a bit more hearing Murdoc abused him cuz he wanted Stuart to hate him. He bit his lip hard he would be abused forever cuz he would never hate Murdoc. He wasn't capable.

He quickly changed position with him and put his against his chest and holding him tightly. He noticed Murdoc was shaken. And he really regretted what he had done.

Stuart didn't know what to say again to him. With his face against his chest he wouldn't be able to see Stuart was at the verge of tears as well. Murdoc would feel a bit less lonely. He caressed his black thick hair and decided to do what he could best. Sing.

 

_Ain't no need to worry_

_There ain't no use to cry_

_'Cause i'll be comin' home soon_

_To keep you satisfied_

_You know I get so lonely_

_That I feel I can't go on_

_And it feels so good inside, babe_

_Just to call you on the telephone, I said_

_Ooh baby, I love you_

_What more can I say?_

_Ooh baby, I need you_

_I miss you more every day_

 

At the chorus he was slightly crying. Whispering into his ear and fighting back tears not to make Murdoc upset. He needed to comfort him. To make him see he was already forgiven. Hate wasn't the answer. Would Murdoc be happier with Stuart hating him more than loving? It couldn't be. He held him tighter and his his face on his hair thinking too much.

Murdoc felt the change in positions and held onto his chest close, shaking and trying to hold back tears. He felt his hand caress his hair and he felt a little better. The comfort of his touch did a lot for him. He sniffled and a few tears came forward and spilled onto his shirt.

Then he heard singing. He loved his singing. It sent chills down his spine and he held onto him tighter. He could tell Stuart was upset, on the verge of tears. When he finished singing, he crawled up a bit to put his face into the singer’s neck and wrapped his arms around his neck and hugged him.

"I'm sorry...." he said one more time, then added. "I love you.... I would take it all back if I could...." he nuzzled his neck and held onto him tight. He was so thankful for Stuart and everything he did for him. If it wasn't for him he'd still be on the streets.

Stuart knew that coMfort at this moment was essential for Murdoc feeling better. Actually was the only thing he could do to make him feel better. He felt Murdoc trying to hold back tears. Maybe it was a moment for him to let them fall. He just hoped his singing was helping something for Murdoc. We wasn't mad at all.... The truth just hurt a bit.

He noticed Murdoc coming to hold him by his neck and sniffled. He hugged him back needy. "No Muds.... I'm sorry...." he whispered back. "I'm so glad I could find you in my life.... You  have no idea......" he sobbed "I love you so much.... Please don't ever leave.... You're important to me...." he broke the hug and looked into his eyes.

"I don’t want you ever going back into that miserable life.... Ever.... I promise I’ll make you happy.... And...." he looked deep inside his eyes "You'll always be my best mate......" he said as a promise. Even if they were apart or not together anymore, Murdoc would never be alone like he was back there. Ever. He felt bad cuz Murdoc was miserable and he only made this worse entering his life. He felt like a failure.

Murdoc sniffled and looked up, a few tears escaping once more. He put his hands on either side of Stuart's face. "But you already have.... I'm so happy Stuart. We've done so many things together that I never imagined doing. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me...." he said between little sniffles. He kissed him gently.

"If it weren't for you, I'd still be on the streets trying to find my band. I'd be miserable.... I love you so much and I wouldn't trade meeting you for the world. I just.... Wish I could take back the nasty things I did...." he whispered, petting his hair and looking into his eyes. He wiped the singer's tears away from his face gently.

"You're my best mate, and I promise i'll try to make up for what I’ve done to you...... I want you happy, no matter what...." he whispered, running his hand through his hair and brushing away more tears. This isn't what he wanted at all, but he knew he needed to tell him the truth. "You're the love of my life, Stuart. No one else has ever, or will ever have that position besides you." He whispered, kissing up his chin several times.

Stuart smiled and tried to calm Himself down but it was hard with Murdoc telling him all those sweet words. He kissed him back and he sobbed quietly again rubbing his back.

"No Muds.... Enough pain and suffer for us...... We're getting married...... We deserve happiness once we found each other right?..." he looked at him "all that was missing in me was...... You. Now i can see it." he smiled. "And I forgive all the nasty things.... If you’re really sorry you won't do anything mean ever again will you....?" He said looking into his eyes and sniffling.

He hugged him again placing Murdoc’s face on his chest and sniffling. "My husband...." he gently whispered while he laid down with him. Keeping him protectively into his arms. He kissed the top of his head whispering multiple times "My love.... My life.... My Muds...." trying to calm himself and Murdoc down.

Murdoc smiled as he nuzzled his chest  "Your Muds.... My Bluebird...." he said back. He brought his hand to his face and wiped his eyes. "You're husband." He whispered. It still seemed foreign to him, but he'd slowly get used to it. He kissed the singer's chest a few times and laid his head back down on it. He looked up at Stuart, admiring him.

He was tired from the day, his eyes were tired from crying, and he was comfortable on Stuart's chest. He could hear his breathing, hear his heartbeat, he loved listening to it. He was the only one who got to hear it. He wrapped his arms around him and held him close as he closed his eyes slowly, falling asleep to the sounds of his steady heartbeat.

Stuart heard his whispers and smiled calming himself down and slowly stopping crying. He smiled to him when he wiped his tears. He nodded "only yours" and laid his head back down on the pillow again.

He looked down seeing Murdoc kissing his chest and chuckled. He wished he had more chest hair for him to play. It would be bluer and different.... Maybe Murdoc would like as he liked odd things. He looked down to him and kissed his forehead.

Soon he began singing again till Murdoc fell asleep. He fell too after some moments.... He kept the Satanist close and caressing his hair. He knew he was tired from crying and from telling the truth.... He wasn't as used to cry as the singer. But a part of Stuart was happy he let it all out. And deep inside he had already forgiven him.


	53. Hummingbird

In the next morning, Stuart woke up before Murdoc. It was early and he thought he was still tired from last night. He decided not to wake him up. Slowly he put some pillows under his head to replace the singer and decided to go outside.

He grabbed his notebook and decided to draw something. He wanted to remember Jamaica more than with just photos. He walked outside and could hear again the waves crashing and the birds singing. It was cold cuz the sun didn’t rise yet He took a deep breath and started drawing the landscape in front of him.

 After some moments, he decided he would draw him with Murdoc but in a different and unique way. He wouldn't draw themselves as people but something that reminded of them. He smiled and focused in the sun rising and his drawing. He hummed a random song and smiled. He from time to time looked at his ring and felt surer of what he was doing.

Even alone, he knew Murdoc was close.... He was safe and nothing bad could happen to him. His heart was at peace. He had some bad dreams about Murdoc neglecting him in a coma but he wouldn't focus on this now or let Murdoc know. He focused all his sadness into doing something beautiful to celebrate them together. That they remained together. That they found each other and helped themselves.

Murdoc slowly woke up, finding himself snuggling with a pillow instead of Stuart. Turns out he had drooled on that pillow as well. He shook his head, trying to wake up, his eyes still heavy from sleep. He swallowed, his mouth dry. When he moved he could tell he had been in the same position all night. He groaned as he sat up, his joint popping and stretching.

He looked around groggily, trying to figure out where Stuart went. He slowly got up, realizing he was still naked and putting on a pair of underwear at least. He rubbed his eyes again and walked to the main part of the little house. He still didn't see Stuart. He was a little worried. If the kid got lost, he wasn't sure how he'd find him, and with all those people pawing all over him yesterday....

Murdoc quickly looked in the bathroom and kitchen, not seeing him. He opened the door and felt a sense of relief as he saw the singer sitting on the beach, doodling in his notebook. He sighed, smiled and walked over to him. It was cool out still, the sun only barely rising. He walked over and to Stuart quietly and bent over, kissing the top of his head.

"Good morning love." He whispered, flopping down beside him and resting his head on his shoulder, looking at his notebook. "Whatchya doing?" He asked.

Stuart started and almost ruined his drawing so focused he was. "Oh good morning my fiancée.... Sorry not waking you up, thought you were tired from yesterday" he smiled wide showing his gap teeth. He kissed his forehead when he rested his head on his shoulder and caressed his hair. "drawing." he said proudly.

He showed him his drawing. "See is the beach...." he pointed forward to where they were. The drawing showed the sea the sand and the horizon with the sun appearing timidly. "I brought my color pencils...." he showed him the box of pencils. Under it there was another part of the drawing, he was a bit ashamed of showing. "This two here... Are us, see?" he pointed to two little birds, one blue, and one black "Flying together.... Free.... And happy...." he smiled to Murdoc. "Like how it should be." he whispered.

Murdoc studied the drawings and smiled. "They're wonderful Stuart. A Bluebird and a Blackbird, flying free. It's a wonderful thing love. Beautiful drawings." He said, lifting his head up and kissing his shoulder. He rest his head back on his shoulder and just watched him, his head little foggy still.

Murdoc yawned, "Yeah, I was.... Really tired actually. Apparently a stressful plane ride and crying will do that to you. Who knew?" He joked, snuggling into him a little more. He probably could have slept longer, but he should much rather be with Stuart.

While he watched him draw, he also looked out into the ocean, the waves crashing against the beach in a calm and soothing manner. It was peaceful. There was no one around, just the two of them.

Murdoc decided to break the silence. "How are you doing? How'd you sleep?" He asked in a hushed tone.

Stuart's brows rose, he was really impressed with Murdoc’s good mood. It was an amazing surprise actually after all they've been through last night he should be hating himself or embarrassed of what he had done. But he was surprisingly happy and calm. Stuart wished everyday was like this. He accept the kiss on the shoulder blushing.

Stuart giggled with his joke. It was really tiring and besides waking up really early he was tired too. He wondered why Murdoc didn’t sleep more. He looked to the sea with Murdoc stopping his drawing a little. "I'm okay, Muds.... Just had some bad dreams and woke up early.... That's all...." he mumbled sadly "that's why I came here.... To do something nice about what bad i felt earlier..." he looked at his drawing ready and felt proud, that was much better than whining and bothering Murdoc cuz of a nightmare. "you sleep well, my love?" he wrapped an arm around him, feeling the sun starting to get hotter and the wind that came from the sea messing their hairs.

Murdoc was silent a moment before speaking, "What kind of dreams? And yeah, I slept hard. I woke up sore. I don't remember any of my dreams either." He yawned and snuggled into him more. He figured Stuart had bad dreams regarding what they talked about last night. Murdoc felt.... Calm about their talks from yesterday. He cried.... A lot.... More than he ever does and it felt good, actually. Stuart really calmed him down and now it was all out in the open instead of him holding it back.

He watched the waves a little longer, the calming sound of it made him feel better for some reason. He decided he would be happy while they were here. It was a time to connect with Stuart more, which partially scared him, since he'd never connected with anyone on that level before. He never got farther than a quick fuck for anyone so all this was new ground for him.

Stuart held him close.... "Dreams with you......" he whispered "I was in coma and...... You tried to....... Y'know.... To ra-." He bit his lip avoiding the word. "I tried to prevent you...... But you were drunk, angry.... And...... My body didn't answer......" He shivered. "I-I’m sorry Muds...... I know this never happened......" He looked at his drawing for a moment avoiding those thoughts. Murdoc in his dream didn't seem like he was now...... He seemed bad and cruel...... Into his eyes all Stuart could see was hate. And he had a sick smile of satisfaction on his face. HE swallowed quietly. This would never happen it was just a bad dream.

Murdoc sat up, looking at Stuart horrified. He swallowed down the bile that threatened to come up. "Stuart.... You know I would never...." he whispered. An image popped through his mind of Stuart, lying there in his coma and him.... He shivered and pressed his palms against his eyes. The mere idea of it made him sick, he'd never thought of anything remotely like that when Stuart was in his coma. He looked up at Stuart, panicked.

"Is.... Is that what you thought I would do to you?" He choked out. Even the thought that Stuart may be worried about something like that with him, put him in a panic. "Stuart, I wouldn't.... I'd never. NEVER." He growled out, teeth clenched, trying to control his shaking. The thought that he slept so well and Stuart dealt with that all night made him feel sick.

Stuart curled himself "no of course not Mu’doc...... I dunno why I dreamed that......" HE looked down, he needed to say the truth. HE wasn't accusing Murdoc of anything but it sounded like he was. He got away from Murdoc’s body.

Maybe the thought crossed his mind...... Since the time that he was almost raped by that guy much earlier. He knew how he felt when he was high on pills.... Coma was just a more severe and almost permanent state of what pills made with him. Totally unresponsive and harmless...... Murdoc couldn't have social life....couldn't eat.... Sleep.... Didn't have TV ...  Couldn't have anything...... And he was beautiful through Murdoc eyes.... Was easily accessible .... Murdoc was lonely...... Stuart wouldn’t feel anything or remember.... And rape doesn't leave marks easy to see...... He shook his head to those thoughts. It was all anxiety talking to him.

"Maybe my subconscious thought about that. But I didn't!" He almost yelled frowning deeply looking at Murdoc. "You asked me what I dreamed so this is your answer......" HE bit his lip. "I'm sorry." Murdoc would blame him ‘cuz of a dream? He pulled his knees to his chest and bowed his head. HE felt terrible. Of course Murdoc didn't rape him when he as in coma!

Murdoc swallowed and looked at Stuart. "It's fine.... It was a dream...." He said slowly. He was afraid to touch him, he wanted to hug him, but he wasn't sure how Stuart felt after that type of dream. He had already put his head on his shoulder and that seemed okay.

He gently took his hand into his own and stroked the top of it with his thumb. Then he held it up to his cheek and nuzzled it. "I wouldn't ever do that to you...." he whispered, looking at him sadly. "I never even had a notion of anything similar to that when you were in your coma Stu. I'm not a monster.... I know what it's like...." he said, in an even quieter tone. "I'm sorry...." he said after a while, unsure of what to say to him to make him feel better.

Stuart looked at him with his eyes full of fear. He let him grab his hand and looked into his eyes. Suddenly fear and despair took him over.

"That's okay Muds.... It was just a dream...don’t need to be sorry." he whispered back holding his hand. "I almost discovered what it was like......" He whispered lower and hid his face with his hand to that memory. "Can.... Can I have a hug, Muds....? I'm so sorry.... Sorry I even thought about that....I know you're not a monster.... I'm sorry.... Please don’t be mad." HE bowed his head "it was difficult to know you really hated me, being sure that you really disliked me that time.... Even if it wasn't my fault the accident.... I thought.... I dunno......" He took off his hand from his face

"i thought I could just have been.... Useful.... Even useless in a coma. My body... At least for you, so you wouldn’t hate me." HE bit his lip hard. For him at least Murdoc could take advantages as he wasn’t conscious. He was scared it was true. That was a deep and dark thought he thought he would never have the courage to tell him. HE put both hands on his head pulling his hair. "Sorry.... Sorry...." HE felt bad thinking about it this sick way, that Murdoc was capable or something so devilish with himself unable to scream for help or defend himself. But Murdoc needed to know the truth about what he thought.

Maybe Stuart had a real deep fear about Murdoc he wasn’t even aware. And put into words was very painful.

Murdoc swallowed, his throat dry. He just looked at the singer, slightly horrified by what the kid was thinking. He wanted Murdoc to not hate him, regardless of the price it cost. And deep down maybe Stuart thought Murdoc would take that type of deal. He was shocked, quite honestly. And a little hurt.

"Stuart.... Look at me." He said suddenly and quite sternly, he needed to clear this up, no matter how hurt he felt about right now. "You need to have a little more self respect for yourself.... You shouldn't even consider that an option for someone, most of all me, to like you. You hear me? I hated you Stuart and Satan knows I would take it all back now if I could, but it's over now. There's nothing either of us can do about it now. I'm trying.... I'm trying to make it up to you though. I love you now, and I never want to even hear that you would consider letting anyone do that to you just so you could be useful. You hear me Stuart? You're the singer of Gorillaz. You're so much better than that, understand?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat, "And if you even have a mere thought that I would even consider doing that to you...." he felt sick at the thought. Sick and hurt. "That means you don't feel safe around me.... I don't want to force you to be with me if that's the case and I don't want you feeling obligated to...." he whispered, when a sudden realization popped up in his head. "Fuck Stu.... Do you feel like that now?" He asked. He was now worried Stuart was with him just so he wouldn't hurt him. He looked at him sadly.

Stuart's black orbs widened when he looked at Murdoc "no!" He started crying "no Muds.... I'm here cuz I love you....... Oh God I'm a fuck up......" He threw himself against his chest. "I just been through years of you abusing me...... " he sobbed "In trying to overcome the memories.... But them I had this dream....... You hated me...... Im sorry i know you changed......" he curled himself crying heavily "Oh God Muds.... How can you marry someone so screwed in the head like me......?" He sobbed again.

He gripped his shirt tightly not wanting to let him go. "I shouldn't have said anything...... I ruined the trip....... IM so sorry." He whispered. "I was in love with you for so many years...... And you acter like you didn’t like me...." he gross sobbed. "I'm with you cuz I want to be with you...... It's.... It's past......it just hurts.... Please don’t leave me.... I don’t feel this way" he let out a choked sob being honest.

Murdoc was slightly surprised by him suddenly clinging to him crying. He felt awful. He held him close and listened to him sob. He felt even worse by his explanations, he felt like a monster. He pet his hair and shushed him gently, trying to get him to calm down before he spoke again.

"Stuart.... Calm down.... Please...." he said quietly, hoping he'd calm down. He sighed. "You're right. I abused you and for that I'm sorry. I told you why yesterday, but it's still no excuse. It was wrong of me to hate you.... But it happened and Satan knows I'm trying my hardest to make it up to you." He pulled the singer's face up to look at him, wiping his face with his thumbs.

"There's nothing wrong with you.... You hear me? You are just responding to that abuse.... It's a natural response. Christ, I'm so sorry Stuart.... I swear.... I swear I’ll do everything in my power to make it up to you. I know I’ll never fully, but I'm going to try. I was a real bastard. I didn't see what was right in front of me. You're so precious to me Stuart. I want to give you everything.... I swear I will. Please though.... Please promise me you'll respect yourself more? I know I always put you down, but you're truly a wonderful person and you deserve everything." He held him close, hugging him tight. "I love you so much Stuart, I'm so sorry.... For everything.... I'll try to make it up to you.... I promise...." he whispered, feeling like the biggest ass in the world. He pet his hair and kept him held tight and close to him.

Stuart took some deep breaths to calm him down. He was letting out all he hid inside for a long time. It was ugly and heartbreaking but his dream was as well. Well, better let it all out and tell the truth than keep hiding forever. I such a little amount of time they experienced many strong emotions and the singer felt drained. He wet his chest with his tears and only stopped cuz he could manage to focus on his breathing and heartbeat.

He listened carefully to what he had to say and nodded. He couldn’t manage to answer now. He had an ugly breakdown and felt awful he made Murdoc think he was with him ‘cuz of fear. The singer knew that by now he should feel awful.... He really didn’t like that was a natural response "I-I promise Muds...." he whispered "I won't think about myself this way anymore..." he sniffled.

"and you don’t put me down.... Has been a while that we help put each other up...." he let his shirt go and looked at him with some tears still falling from his eyes. "we'll find a way together, love..." he grabbed the hand with the ring. "I just don’t wanna lose you.... If i lose you.... Id lose myself...." he mumbled and let out a shaky breath resting his head against his chest again and looking at their hands together playing with them and calming down.

Murdoc held the kid, petting his hair. Even though Stuart was so much taller than he was , the way he was curled up, sobbing, made him seem smaller and it also reminded Murdoc that he was only in his mid 20s. Murdoc felt old again and felt like the biggest ass again. He pulled him into him, hugging him closer, putting his face into his hair.

"I'm so sorry I made you feel that way...." he whispered, watching Stuart play with his hand. His heart ached, he knew he was a little physical with the singer before, but he never tried to rape him and he didn't know he'd made him so.... Afraid. He closed his eyes, cursing himself in his head. He was just like his father.

Stuart lifted his hand and kissed it putting it against his face and nuzzling it. "I needed to be honest with you...." he said quietly not looking to him yet "you were yesterday so.... I forgive you.... And I hope you can forgive me too for thinking this way...." he still let out occasional sobs. "You.... Proved me you could be different.... And you really are, Muds.... But my fear is almost irrational......" he stopped looking forward to the beach "that's why when you raise your voice.... Or curse.... Or raise fists.... Or get angry.... I get so desperate...." he whispered.

"You're making me the happiest man on earth.... And this is past.... I just need to understand this and ...... Give me more value huh?" He looked at him. "I’ll learn how to do it.... I promise I’ll be good.... For us, our future......" he smiled sweetly with his face red and puffy from crying "I'm sorry I broke down and started the day in a bad way, love.... I'll work to make it up to you for that...." he leaned closer and kissed his lips quickly wiping his tears afterwards.

Murdoc listened to him speak, he felt happy that Stuart was going to value himself a little more, the kid deserved it. He was happy that Stuart was happy now. He couldn't shake this nagging feeling in the back of his mind. ‘You’re becoming your father....’ it kept telling him. He shook his head, focusing on Stuart.

He kissed him back and also wiped his face. "It's okay.... It's out in the open now, yeah? We can move past it and, uh, heal right? That's what they say, right?" He smiled at Stuart and ran his hands through his blue hair, admiring his face.

"Why don't we go inside and eat? I'll make some breakfast, and we can go to some of the events I have planned." He said sweetly. He really wanted to move on from this subject.... Quickly.

Stuart nodded "events.?..." his face lighted up "do I need to wear something specific, love....? I'd love to have lots of fun with you...." he nuzzled his face on his chest completely forgetting about the sad moment they were having.

He grabbed his notebook and color pencils and stood up "Let's eat!" He said excitedly. He wouldn’t let Murdoc down again. He offered him a hand with s gentle smile

Murdoc shook his head, smiling. "Just something comfortable." He let Stuart help him up, and they walked together back to the beach house, hand in hand. Their whole conversation kept playing in his head, regardless if he wanted it to or not.

When they got to the house he turned the oven on and got out some bacon, toast, eggs, and veggies. This place actually had a maid and person that bought groceries and supplies, so he could get whatever he wanted, within reason. He got the bacon going as that would take the longest. He also got out a small selection of fruit and walked up to Stuart and had him sit on the couch. He sat on his lap and held up a blueberry for him to eat.

"A blueberry, for my blueberry." He purred.

Stuart was immediately excited with the idea of events.... Even if it meant more people than the two and probably flirtatious people. But oh well.... He was more ready now for that than before. He felt good and better after talking to Murdoc all he felt he needed.

He followed him to the kitchen and was surprised that inside it there was food.... Actually they didn’t even need to buy pizza the day before, they had plenty of food there. He sat on the couch and waited. Once Murdoc came with that blueberry, he blushed deeply. It was an action so soft so tender.... He wasn’t expecting that. "Thank you my love...." he said gently and ate the Blueberry happily. "What are we gonna have for breakfast, my fiancée?" he asked playfully with his stomach already growling.

Murdoc smiled, thinking he could easily make the moment dirty, but he refrained. He had activities planned for them and they needed all their strength for the day. Sex would be later. Plus, he wasn't sure he if wanted sex at the moment, after their little talk.

He snuggled into Stuart's lap more and fed him a few more fruits, popping a few into his own mouth. He blushed slightly at the 'honey'. He wasn't used to names like that yet. "Well, I have bacon in the oven, but that is going to take about half an hour. I'll get an omelet going for us, with some cheese and veggies and some toast. Sound good?" He asked. He wasn't entirely sure he knew how to make all this but he'd seen it done a few times before so he felt he had the general idea at least.

Stuart's eyes shone "All that?" He beamed and giggled "Oh God...  This way I won't lunch...." he snuggled with Murdoc smiling from ear to ear. "You're spoiling me...." he nudged his arm playfully "is our lives gonna be like this from now on Muds....?" He asked "’cuz I really want that...." he whispered.

"Should be me giving you fruits...." he pouted. If he was in another mood he would want to shag Murdoc in this half hour while the bacon was into the oven. "Muds what are we going to do today? You're letting me know or it will be a surprise....?" He asked curiously.

Murdoc kissed him gently, "Good, I don't want us to worry about food later. Once we start our activities, I don't want to be interrupted." He laughed. That was true. He wanted them to have as much fun as possible and stay energized. Plus it'd just be easier to eat here.

"Well.... My cooking skills are limited so.... I can't say our days will always be graced with me cooking." He chuckled, popping in a few more fruits. "And our adventures today are a surprise. You'll have to wait and see." He smiled slyly.

He held out the fruit bowl, "You can still feed me fruits.... I-if you want, that is...." He whispered. He wasn't sure if Stuart was up to doing that with him since their talk, but he kind of hoped he would, just a little. He still kind of felt like he'd done something bad this morning, some love from Stuart would make him feel a little better, but he couldn't ask for that. Not after the dream.

Stuart giggled.... He was just playing with him. He blushed when he smiled slyly...... He wasn't thinking about anything sly to do during the day. "One day or two is fine for me muds.... The others we can eat out.... I like dates." He said shrugging.

He was excited about surprises... This made him forget about the whole dream and whole bad experience. He was easy to forget and forgive, plus it was only a dream. Would never happen in real life. He grabbed the bowl of fruits. "Is there whip cream in the fridge, babe....?" He asked curiously "if not I'd love to feed you..." he said looking at him.

He giggled to his stuttering. He didn't know why he was nervous. He managed to stood up and place Murdoc on his lap changing positions so he would feel a bit more connected to Murdoc. He kissed his lips cupping his face And pulling him close. He wanted to forget what happened before and make Murdoc a bit more comfortable. He broke the kiss and hugged him "let's make a good day Muds......" he whispered

Murdoc shook his head, "No, no whip cream.... But I think we should get some." He laughed and winked at him. He had the idea for an entire desert tray they could make on each other. He wanted to eat marshmallows off Stuart.... Maybe he'd suggest that later.

He was a little surprised by Stuart placing him on his lap. He didn't know if Stuart would go for it or not. He loved the kiss and kissed back tenderly. He just wanted to be close with Stuart, he loved him so much. He nodded to Stuarts whispered suggestion. That's all he wanted. He wanted to give Stuart the best day possible. One he deserved. He wanted to give him a new experience every day.

The singer let him go after the hug and silently started offering him the fruits. He didn't even remembered the discussion of earlier. All he wanted to do was focus on Murdoc and in making him smile.

He gave him the fruits on his mouth smiling and caressing his hair. He loved his thick black hair. He could do it whole day. "I love you.... But I bet you already knew it...." he joked and winked. "Thank you for our breakfast, love.... You're the best...." he would really focus in making a good day for them both.

Murdoc hummed in agreement, enjoying being fed fruits like a prince. "Ah, yeah, I may have had some idea." He teased and smiled at him. This was everything he could ever ask for. Stuart and him, all alone together and in love.

"Of course, my love. Anything for you." He said sweetly, getting up and giving Stuart a fruit flavored kiss. He then walked back to the kitchen, checked on the bacon and started making the omelet’s. While making everything, he only burned himself twice, which he felt was pretty decent. He played it off though, so as not to worry Stuart. They weren't bad burns or anything.

When he finished and the bacon was done, he made up a plate for both him and Stuart. He then put them down next to each other on the table and smiled at him. "Breakfast is ready, Bluebird." He felt pretty proud of his food. He managed to make an okay omelet that only broke slightly. The bacon was bloody perfect.

Stuart waited silently finishing the colors in his drawing after he sat at the table. It was beautiful. Those two birds really fit the landscape and he drew some coconut trees to complete it. He took some glances in Murdoc’s direction seeing how he was doing.

He unfocused when he heard him telling the breakfast was ready, he beamed again hungry. He put his notebook aside and changed it for a plate with an omelet and bacon. He looked quickly to his hands and found them burned but he wouldn't ask.

He tried some "God Muds...  It's amazing..." he complimented "Thank you!" He started eating happily Is there anything to drink in the fridge love? I can serve us...." he asked softly trying to be gentle

Murdoc nodded and sat down to eat. "Yeah, I think there's orange juice, water, and milk. Maybe something else? I would love orange juice love." He said, taking a bite of some bacon. He rolled his eyes up in pleasure. He loved bacon, it'd been a while since he really had some.

He peered over at Stuart's drawing while he was up. He liked the two birds in the sky, representing him and Stu. He loved his little Bluebird and he was happy to be his Blackbird. He was excited to take him to their first fun activity. It had to do with birds and he knew the boy would enjoy it. He'll hate it. He heard in his head. He blinked and shook his head, unsure where that thought came from. Stuart wouldn't hate it.... He shrugged and continued eating.

Stuart nodded and stood up going to the fridge to grab some juice. He went to the fridge and put two glasses for them, going back to the table and offering Murdoc his. He kissed the top of his head with a sweet smile thanking him again for the food. He noticed he was a bit spaced out.

He sat down again and blushed noticing he was looking at his drawing. It wasn’t his best but in his opinion it was acceptable. It was the result of him trying to avoid bad problems and he though he did a pretty good job for someone who was miserable inside.

"So.... After breakfast we leave, Muds?" he tried to take his attention off his drawing as he was feeling embarrassed "Y-you like it....?" he whispered. Murdoc’s acceptance always made his heart jump with joy, when it came to music, to drawings, to anything. He took a sip of his juice looking at him.

Murdoc jumped a bit as Stuart asked him a question, having been lost in his thoughts. He quickly smiled and thanked Stuart for the juice, taking a sip of the juice. He then smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, we'll go. We just have to meet to have a shuttle take us, it's about a 20 min ride, and I guess it's a bit bumpy. But it's deep in the mountains, so it'll be fun." He grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently.

"And yeah, I love it Stuart. It's very creative. I'm proud to be your Blackbird." He said sweetly as he took another bite of his eggs. He smiled and looked out the window, making sure it was still going to be a nice day, no rain.

Stuart blushed beet red. He bit his lip and giggled embarrassed. Sometimes his sweet words threw him off. "I-i'll finish here and change my c-clothes.... And..." he looked at him "let’s have fun...." he winked to him.

A mountain? It sounded interesting. Stuart didn't know Murdoc was into those kind of rides but he bet he would love it. "I’ll bring my camera" he smiled softly going back to eat. "Is it whole day, love....? Or well be back after lunch?" He tried to sound totally interested in his plan. He didn't want Murdoc disappointed.

Murdoc smiled, "The thing we are going to do is till about the later afternoon, then we'll go do something else tonight. Sound good?" He finished eating, drank the rest of his juice, and took his plate to the sink. He walked over to Stuart and gave him a kiss then walked to the bedroom.

"Finish eating! You'll need your energy today love!" He called back. He put on a black tank top and a dark pair of jeans with his boots. His usual. He also had a pair of sunglasses. He grabbed a hat he'd brought in case Stuart wanted it.

Stuart nodded and finished his meal. He ate a bit more than he normally would do to make sure he would have energy for the day. He took a second glass of juice and went to the bedroom to change his clothes.

This time he decided he would look less like a tourist. He stole one of Murdoc’s new shirts, a plain dark red one one with no patterns and a blue jeans, nothing especial. He grabbed his wallet a camera and a bottle of water. "Love better shoes or flip flops? Do I need to pass sunblock?" He wanted to be really ready for the surprise. He smiled sweetly and leaned closer him "You look handsome, my blackbird...." he purred kissing him on the lips and grabbing his top to do it.

Murdoc was brushing his hair a bit when Stuart came in to change. "You'll want shoes and you will probably be okay on sunblock, but if you're worried I can help you put some on. " he chuckled. He turned to look at Stuart when he pulled him in with the kiss after the compliment. Murdoc went into a lovesick daze and smiled after the kiss. He loved when Stuart was sweet to him.

When they were ready, he called the shuttle and they got into the little van. They were by themselves thankfully, but the driver was very talkative. He had a thick accent.

"So! Where are you two from?" He asked. Murdoc frowned a little and loomed out the window. He wasn't in the mood to talk. Right now. He just wanted to get to where they were going.

Stuart noticed once they were into the cab Murdoc wasn't in the mood to deal with strangers. He would do it for him. He decided to put shoes on and bring his flip-flops into his bag in case he needed them. He put on some sunblock and brought it along too.

"We're from England." He said softly and grabbed Murdoc’s hand to calm him down caressing it gently "We're spending holidays here...." he wouldn't say to a stranger they were a couple and would get married.

Murdoc held his hand and smiled at Stuart. He was truly a kind heart when Murdoc wasn't. He looked back put the window, enjoying the view as they got into the mountains. It started getting bumpier as the road turned to dirt and had a ton of holes and bumps.

The driver didn't seem to notice, having probably driven this road a million times. "Oh? England? Wow, never been there myself. But it looks amazing. You have the queen there, yes? You've met her?" He asked, looking at Stuart in the rear view mirror. Murdoc snorted at the question.

Stuart giggled too "No we haven’t.... But it’s our first time here too..." he said smiling. Was a typical question he was making.

He leaned closer Murdoc resting on him "what are you planning for us huh?" He whispered into his ear looking into his eyes. The landscape out there was really breathtaking. He squeezed his hand smiling.

Murdoc smirked, "You'll have to wait and see love." He whispered back. He liked having this little bit of power of Stuart. Surprises were more fun when they remained as such. He held his hand, squeezing it.

"Oh, how do you like Jamaica so far?" He asked excitedly. They hit a large bump and Murdoc fell back into Stuart's lap. He looked up at the singer and chuckled. "Oh yeah, careful back there. Roads are very bumpy this way. We are almost there." The guy said, laughing as well.

Stuart blushed when he came to his lap. He spread his legs and let Murdoc sit in between them. He rested his hands on his thighs and kissed the back of his neck without the driver noticing "Oh we're loving it...... Beautiful beaches many places to visit.... It's really different from where we came from...." he explained softly smiling to Murdoc. He hoped he was comfortable in his lap.

Murdoc just smiled and stayed in his lap, enjoying the little kiss. He didn't think the guy really cared much. Probably didn't get paid enough. He agreed with everything Stuart said about Jamaica and the guy seemed to as well.

"Oh yes, many beautiful beaches. Where we are going, you're going to love. I promise." he said joyously. Murdoc nodded in agreement with that as well. When the guy finally pulled over to a spot, Murdoc knew they had to walk just a few minutes back into the wooded area.

When they got out, he could hear what sounded like hundreds of birds around in the trees. He smiled wide. It sounded beautiful and chaotic all at once. He grabbed Stuart's hand, and guided him down the trail.

Stuart went outta the cab and was mesmerized by the sounds.... It sounded like hundreds, no millions of birds. His eyes shone looking up to see the birds and where the noises came from. He grabbed his hand and squeezed it smiling from ear to ear.

He couldn’t believe in so much beauty. He smiled and looked at Murdoc, he really loved him. He didn’t dare to say a word not to ruin the moment.... But again he felt like singing so happy he was. What the driver said was right, they were gonna love it.

Murdoc smiled, seeing how happy the singer was. He set off down the path with Stuart, hand in hand. He they heard all the birds the entire way. They came out to a large sanctuary. He was glad they found it so easy.

"Here we are!" He said happily, taking Stuart into the building. The inside looked like part of a vet clinic, another part had a huge atrium full of birds, another had a sitting area. There were other parts, but Murdoc couldn't see it all.

They were greeted by a woman. "Hi there! Are you the Niccals group?" Murdoc nodded and the lady smiled. "Oh good! So first of all. Welcome! This is a hummingbird sanctuary. Well, hummingbirds and other birds too if they're hurt. We help them get better and send them on their way. We also just feed the ones out in the wild as they need to consume a lot of food for their little bodies. You guy get the privilege of helping feed some of those hummingbirds! How does that sound?" She asked.

Stuart was looking around almost stumping and holding Murdoc’s hand for his dear life. He looked when he said they were there. It was so beautiful he just let out a "wow...." he smiled and entered it with him.

He stopped and looked to the woman, Murdoc planned all that? He couldn’t believe. He heard her explanation.... It was like a hospital to heal birds. How cool was that? The first hospital he wasn't scared or feeling sick to enter into. Stuart was excited to see it all. He couldn’t believe that something that nice existed.

 They were so colorful so tiny and cute. "It sounds amazing, lady...." he squeezed Murdoc’s hand "I wanna do it.... Can I be first Muds?" he asked the Satanist excitedly. "how do you take care of the injured ones?" he asked already imagining them in tiny UCIs.

Murdoc laughed and nodded. "Go for it my love." He said, pushing Stuart forward to follow the lady. She smiled at him and gave him a small bottle with a little red nipple filled with a special sugar water that the birds will shove their long beaks into. The lady then guided both of them out to the deck area that was filled with tons of flowers and had hummingbirds everywhere. They all flocked towards Stuart with the bottle. The lady gave one to Murdoc as well.

"There are quite a few today, so I’ll let you both do it at once!" The lady said happily, telling them to sit down on the benches and letting the birds come to them. Murdoc sat right next to Stuart, little hummingbirds flocking all over them, taking turns. The lady handed them a few more so they could hold multiple since the bottles were fairly small.

"Depending on how hurt the bird is, we'll keep it in our atrium and make sure it gets all the love and care it needs to live on it's own again. We have a giant macaw in there that had it's wing torn almost completely off by poachers. He happily stays with us and socializes with the other birds now. He can't live in the wild anymore, unfortunately." She said.

Stuart smiled even more going forward. Those tiny creatures amazed him. He grabbed the small bottle and found funny its shape. Once in the outside with these flowers he was mesmerized. It was so beautiful his eyes shone and his jaw fell. Stuart giggled when they came to him. He felt like a flower, a blue flower.

He sat down on the benches with Murdoc, he didn’t think he would be interested in feeding them. But he seemed pleased with what he was doing together with the singer and Stuart couldn’t ask for more. He looked at the tiny creatures and smiled, taking glances at Murdoc as well. He hoped he was having fun with him.

He heard her explanation. He frowned sadly to the macaw "Can we see it, lady?" he tilted his head like a child. He wanted to give the big bird love and care too even now that it was healed. "Are there many birds that cannot live in the wild anymore? There no way of getting hid of hunters? Do you get many injured ones per day?" he asked, curious as a child. "Do you take care of injured hummingbirds too? I want to know everything ...." the way they are so small should be something difficult to do.

Stuart filled the woman with questions, anxious and very happy to be interacting with the little ones .... The big birds also had their beauty, he didn’t understand how there could be people who hunted them. Perhaps they were valuable for their beauty.

Murdoc chuckled to all the questions Stuart was asking. He was happy the kid was curious. He didn't know if he would be or not. He watched all the humming birds coming up to eat from the multiple tiny bottles he held. They were truly beautiful creatures, their wings fluttering a million miles a second. They were the only bird able to fly backwards, they were quite interesting. A few perched on him, which made him smile wider.

The woman smiled and started answering Stuart's questions. "Of course! When we are done here, we will give you a tour of the atrium. It's filled with quite a few that are, unfortunately, going to live here the rest of their lives as they're too injured to return to the wild. I'll tell you more about them when we get to the atrium." She said, grabbing a few bottles of her own and helping to feed the hoard of hummingbirds. Quite a few wanted to sit on Murdoc for some reason. A bunch were curious about Stuart's blue hair.

"We have laws that make what the hunters are doing illegal since most of our birds are protected, but they still do it unfortunately. We have people who roam some of the most populated areas and call in any suspicious individuals who may be poachers. They'll get rid of traps set up and anything else that may harm the birds." She said. Murdoc nodded, he was interested in the amount of work they were doing to prevent poachers. She continued to his next question.

"We do have a few injured hummingbirds. Mainly they just get tired and a little starved so we just nurse them back to full health again and send them on their way. They require a lot of food as they have tiny bodies but a fast metabolism." She chuckled. "That's why we have so many flowers and feeders out here they can drink from."

All those birds made the singer remember Cortez, will he be all right when they come back, or back into nature thinking they abandoned him? This thought made him sad. He could see from where he was that Murdoc was quite pleased with those tiny creatures as well. It was something really interesting to see. He was so impatient this morning an the hummingbirds seemed to make him happy.

Stuart heard his explanation while some small birds messed with his hair. He giggled. When he saw it, Murdoc was covered in them. He would make a silly joke but he instead grabbed his camera and took a photo of him covered him birds. He hoped Murdoc didn’t mind...

Stuart found amazing how thing worked in there. He thought in England there wasn’t anything even closer to this. It seemed a lot of work and lots of money to save those little creatures using Murdoc as a bench. Stuart nodded to her last explanations and smiled, it seemed a paradise for them. "May I see around, lady?" he wanted to see the flowers and memorize how it looked like in case he wanted to draw later. There were even more flowers then when he went to Janet's flower shop.

Murdoc noticed Stuart taking a picture and decided to smile for it. He knew the singer would want to look back at them and he wanted to be smiling for them at least. He did like having all the little birds on him too, he wouldn't lie. They were small and cute and seemed to like his green skin for some reason.

The lady nodded to Stuart's question. "Of course honey. Feel free to walk around. I actually have some food that you can give out to some other birds we have around here. It's healthy, vitamin rich food for them, so it's helping keep them healthy. Would you like to do that? Or just look around?" She ask.

Stuart beamed again "Oh I can do that too? Of course I'd love to!" He squealed. "I want to feed as many birds as I can then we can walk around the atrium, right love?" He asked Murdoc the little tree. "I want to take pictures of the place, am I allowed, lady." He asked just like a child and not an almost 30 years old lad.

"My fiancée can join us?" He looked at Murdoc wondering if he rather stay with the hummingbirds and let Stuart see the rest of things on his own.

The lady laughed, "Of course, take as many pictures as you need. Just no flash please. It tends to startle them." She said, going to grab the special food she talked about. Murdoc has a huge amount of humming birds around him and he was beginning to panic slightly, feeling a little overwhelmed.

"Uh.... Yeah, can you help me out a bit?" He asked. "Then I can walk with you as you feed the birds before the atrium." He wanted to walk around with Stuart and enjoy the place as well. He didn't want to be alone with all these birds, the thought honestly terrified him for some reason. He looked at Stuart pleadingly.

Stuart tried not to laugh too hard but it was so cute how he was overwhelmed cuz of birds. On his own head he could feel some birds flying too.... They seemed to like Murdoc’s skin and his blue hair.

Stuart slowly got closer Murdoc not to scare the little things. It would be a really bad first impression and he didn’t want that. He grabbed all the bottles from his hands "I'm sorry guys but this one here is a rare specimen of human tree and it's taken...." he said waving his hand carefully around Murdoc to make them fly away, gently. He winked to him.

Once all birds were gone he leaned closer him and kissed his lips placing a hand on his face "hmm, your kiss is almost as sweet as the water of those bottles...." he chuckled and grabbed his hand holding the bottles with the other "Thank you, my love." he whispered and smiled to him showing his lack of teeth proudly.

He offered the lady the almost empty bottles back grabbing his camera ready to take photos. He turned to Murdoc "you mind taking pictures of me, or with me, Muds?" he asked blushing, he didn’t know if Murdoc would mind appearing in the pictures with him. But he was so happy and whole place was so beautiful and happy.... He couldn’t help.

Murdoc nodded and smiled, thankful for his savior from his little bird prison. "I'm glad you like it love. I thought you would." He chuckled, grabbing the special food from the lady, who told him to follow the little trail to the giant garden they could walk through.

He turned back to Stuart and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him close. "Sure. I'd be happy to take photos with you, of you, whatever you want. I'm yours to do with as you wish." He chuckled and kissed his neck as they began walking down the trail. He could see hummingbirds and other bigger birds flying around. Near the garden down the way.

Murdoc noticed a bunch of tiny little warbler birds, a few sparrows, and even some cuckoos. There were a ton he didn't recognize. He tried to point out the ones he knew to Stuart as they walked, his hand still on his hip.

Stuart wrapped an arm around his shoulders to follow him. He didn’t know the names of many of them but they looked amazing with his sizes and colors...... The thing that made him sad was that they would never be able to go back into the wild.... Some he could still see the wounds. "Lady the work you do here is a blessing, really..." he leaned closer one of the birds to take pictures "you’re like their guardian angels...." he chuckled.

One of the birds caught his attention. It was a small blue one.... It was really tiny and didn’t seem it could fly. Stuart leaned closer it silently and the bird actually didn’t run away. Was it like that or.... Anything else? He turned to the lady "and this little one here.... What happened to him....?" he said with his eyes full of concern.

The lady just looked at the bird. "Oh! That's our little friend, Ife. It means someone who is born with an innate desire to love and be loved. He's the most friendly bird we have. He was never even hurt either. He just showed up one day and he's been a friend ever since." She explained.

Murdoc grabbed some of the food she gave them and put some in Stuart's hand. They then held their hands out together to offer the bird food. "He sounds friendly; let’s see if we can feed him together, yeah?" Murdoc whispered.

Stuart looked at her. At least he wasn’t injured or something, he wanted to stay cuz he wanted. He smiled. "Hey little Ife...." he whispered.... He could talk in his normal way that he wouldn’t fly but he was hesitant he would scare the little thing away. That should be Stuart's name.... He felt the exactly innate desire.

He grabbed the food together with Murdoc and it was a very touching moment. The little blue thing didn’t fly away and slowly came to their hands to eat. Stuart smiled to him "good boy..." he whispered and looked at Murdoc. He felt the luckiest guy on earth. "See.... He’s really friendly, love...." his feathers were so shiny and so beautiful.

Once the food was over he dared to do another thing. He grabbed his camera really slowly and Ife didn’t fly. He tilted his little head to look at it. Stuart managed to take the best angle to the photo. He felt so happy. "Thank you Ike." he told him.

Murdoc chuckled, he was happy Stuart liked the birds. He gently grabbed the camera, stepped back, and took a picture of Stuart with the bird. He smiled and admired the two for a moment. "You look.... Beautiful...." he whispered. He knew that would be a wonderful picture. He watched as the bird flew off to a nearby branch. Murdoc took the opportunity to get close to Stuart again and wrap his arm around his waist.

They continued to walk towards the garden the garden was massive, bushes and bushes of flowers on either side of the bath with flowers to feed the little bird and they could hide in and nest in. It was gorgeous and colorful and it smelled amazing. It was breath taking. This would have been a great place to propose. The lady had to go check on some other feeders around the area so she left them alone to walk through the garden.

Stuart looked to the photo in the camera and it was really beautiful. He smiled. "Thank you Muds..." he whispered to him following him to the garden with his arm around his shoulders.

Outside his jaw fell again. It looked like heaven. He wanted to go to a place just like that when he died. He squeezed Murdoc’s hand while walking "wow, my mother would melt in this place...." he said looking around. Rachel loved flowers and he knew it. "I can’t put in words how thankful  I am that you brought me here, Muds...." he said in a low tone. He would start taking pictures but he thought it was a better moment to have some connection with Murdoc. He chose that place for him, he felt special and an arse to have had that dream.

Murdoc smiled and squeezed his waist. "I'm glad you like it Stu. I don't think the pictures I saw did any justice to the true beauty of this place." He walked them through the garden slowly, finding a bench along the way. He offered the seat to Stuart and sat next to him, holding his hand. He looked around.

"Stu.... I love you.... I love you so much.... I know this vacation started off a little rough but I want to make this the best moments of our lives together. Start it off well, you know? I would do anything for you Stuart and I want you to know that. I want you to rely on me. We aren't single individuals or even just band mates. We're getting married...." he swallowed and squeezed his hand.

"I know I don't have much experience around married individuals. I only have my dad and we all know how he was.... But I want to be better. I don't want to be him.... I love you and I want to give you everything you never got.... What you deserve...." he whispered, looking at Stu.

Stuart gave him full attention. He smiled. It was really an amazing place he chose. He sat on the bench and looked at him holding his hand.

He smiled even more when Murdoc told him he loved him. He nodded to his intentions.... He wanted to do it better too.... Even if some things needed to be said. He shivered when he heard they were getting married. He knew that but hearing sounded much more authentic. He bit his lip.

"Muds...." he whispered "I watched my parents together for years.... And I want to do just the same with you.... For years and forever. " he squeezed his hand "I want to forget all the bad that happened in our past and just focus on the future." He said looking into his eyes. He cupped his face with both hands "cuz my heart belongs to one man only. I love you Mu’doc Niccals...... " He leaned closer and kissed him.

The place was beautiful and the couple was completely in love. Stuart broke the kiss and smiled "Thank you so much...." He whispered pressing his forehead against his. He chuckled "We're getting married Muds.... Married. ." He smiled and his eyes stung with tears. But he wouldn’t let them fall. He was happy.

Murdoc smiled and kissed him back, his hands resting on the singer’s arms on the side of his head. "I love you Stuart...." he whispered when he pulled away. "You're the love of my life...." he said.

"Honestly I thought there wouldn't be someone like that in my life.... I'm glad it was you. I'm thankful." He said nuzzling his hand gently. "I can't imagine a life without you now, Stuart. I promise to be the best I can be for you. It's what you deserve." He said, looking into his eyes and smiling wide. He felt this moment was so intimate, being alone in a beautiful place.

Stuart smiled hearing his words. It was a peaceful place and a beautiful landscape around them. "I believe you, Mu’doc...." he said honestly "I can't imagine either.... Let’s work together to make it happen right?" he chuckled. "My blackbird.... I love you so much." he whispered.

"Need you for the rest of my life...." he leaned closer and hugged him. "Please don’t ever leave me...... I'm just like Ife......born with an innate desire to love and be loved...." he repeated he woman's words and nuzzled his face on his shirt. "love and be loved by you...." he whispered and blushed.

Murdoc chuckled and blushed, wrapping his arms around Stuart tightly and hiding his face in his hair. "I didn't think it was ever possible to love someone this much, you know? It truly baffles me every day how I can end up loving you even more and I love it so much." He whispered and pet his hair.

All felt right between them again. The entire issue this morning about the dream seemed like a lifetime ago already and Murdoc was happy about that. He just wanted to show Stuart how much he loved him and how much he meant to him. He really wanted to make up for everything. He hugged him tighter.


	54. Laguna Luminosa

Stuart chuckled and blushed "You're an adorable sap...." He joked keeping him close. Seeing Murdoc that soft was something he really thought it was something that would never happen. He slowly broke the hug and looked at him with his black orbs full of passion and devotion.

 "Would you mind if I go take pictures around Muds?" he whispered to him. "I'd like to pick some spot here to take a picture of us together...." he blushed again. He loved photos and he thought Murdoc would look really handsome I the middle of the flowers. His skin would look beautiful.

Murdoc laughed, "I think you turned me into a bit of a sap." He rubbed his back until Stuart pulled away and looked at him. He loved those black eyes. He loved them ever since the second he saw them.

He smiled and shook his head to Stuart's question. "Not at all. Go ahead love. I'm gonna take a look at some of the birds." He stood up and let Stuart go do his thing while he did his own. He looked at some of the birds in the bushes, none being really that big.

"Cortez is huge compared to you little birds." He chuckled. He knew the feeling of being small though. Being small, these birds were able to live in those bushes, something Cortez couldn't do. But then again, these birds probably couldn't take a man's eye out like Cortez did so.... He was lost in his thoughts.

Stuart nodded and stood up. He walked around with his camera taking photos of all birds he could. The hummingbirds were the most difficult ones as they never stopped. And there he could see there were differences between the species of hummingbirds. He chuckled. He tried to photograph the flowers too, as many colors as he could.

After a while photographing he looked at Murdoc, and he saw he was lost in his thoughts, absentminded. He took spontaneous photos of him too, he looked so handsome seeing the birds. His heart raced, he was definitely in love with that man. He took a selfie of himself as well with Murdoc in the background and sent Russel and Noodle to tell them where they were and that they were okay and having fun. He hoped they  were having fun too. Stuart thought they  were in a honeymoon before the wedding. Or kinda.

After a while, walking around he found another gorgeous little bird. His eyes widened, it had all the colors of the rainbow on its feathers. Different from Ike he flew away when Stuart got close, but he was really mesmerized by his beauty. He tried to follow it to a good picture, focusing in that. The little colored bird followed another one.... A little black and shiny. He could follow them whole day. Maybe if he could feed them again they would get closer. He couldn’t wait to tell Cortez how many birds he met.

Murdoc eventually noticed the singer chasing a beautifully colored bird. He laughed quietly, so as not to scare the birds near him. He shook his head with a smile and walked over to where he was.

"What are you chasing that bird for." He asked, coming up and putting his arm around his waist. He looked at the little bird, now that they were closer and saw how it had a variety of colors all over it. "It's got a blue head, just like yours." He laughed and ruffled Stuart's hair.

Stuart was focused chasing it. "cuz it's beautiful, Muds, I wanna a picture" he pouted. "I’ll draw it later with my colored pencils...." he smiled widely finally taking its picture. He squealed from happiness and the little bird flew away. "See? It's gone but the picture is still here and mine." he showed him it. "Am I a good photographer, love?" he asked playfully. Of course he was an amateur but he was improving. He showed the other photos to him, the photos of himself too.

Murdoc laughed when he squealed. "I'm glad you got it." He looked at all the pictures Stuart took so far. "You take wonderful photos my love." He blushed when he saw the ones of him. He tried to grab the camera. "Hey! Delete those! When did you take those?!" He didn't think he looked good in such a vulnerable picture where he's talking to bloody birds and looking at flowers.

Stuart was quick to hide the camera from him. He hugged it and started to take steps back "If you want it love, you'll have to steal the camera from me, I won’t delete them...." he stick his tongue out "I have much more embarrassing ones in my phone...." he laughed. It was true, Murdoc already knew that. "I took them when you're not looking at, silly...." he joked. "They’re not that bad...." he pouted.

Murdoc’s eyes widened. He'd forgotten about the other embarrassing photos, but he was curious if there were others he didn't know about now. He tried to slowly step towards Stuart and snatch the camera away again. "What other photos do you have that are embarrassing?" He asked, as he was unable to grab it again and he didn't want to wrestle Stuart in this garden. He wasn't really upset about them but now he was more curious.

Stuart smiled and lifted his long arm holding the camera with it. That height Murdoc couldn't reach for it. He thought he was playing with an younger brother. He laughed seeing how he was shorter than himself "Well.... I took a photo of you and Vance too at the airport when you were sleeping, actually Vanessa took some too.... They're my current screensaver and wallpaper.... I took those now.... The one with you covered in birds.... I took a selfie too that you appeared behind me...." he said all of the ones he could remember.

"you get distracted pretty often Muds.... It's funny and beautiful taking photos when you're not paying attention.... You make the cutest faces when you think no one is looking, and you have a pretty smile too with those fangs you have...." he giggled and blushed "should take pictures of me like that too." he shrugged, it was a good "revenge" is his opinion. He kept holding the camera up. "And I don’t plan to stop it anytime soon...." he laughed

Murdoc glared at him for holding the phone hi where he couldn't get it. "Well that's just not fair...." he pouted. He listened to the ones Stuart talked about, remembering them. He blushed at his compliments and nervously looked down.

He never thought about taking pictures of Stuart. He didn't really take pictures but he knew there were plenty of options before he could have taken some nice photos. He had a sly idea. He gave Stuart a charming smile.

"You know.... You make the cutest faces too." He got up close, not even worried about the phone. He pulled Stuart down for an incredibly sensual kiss. His tongue slipped into his mouth and played with his.

Stuart almost dropped the camera when he snogged him. He thought about once or twice taking pictures after shagging or even before or during...... But he never thought Murdoc would like this idea. It would be embarrassing. And he thought the idea of a "porn movie" was just a joke.

Anyway, he kissed him still holding the camera high. He wouldn't fall in his charming tricks.... He took some steps further and pressed him against the bench. He kept kissing him with his arm up. His other hand gripped his shirt and he deepened the kiss pressing a knee against his crotch.

After some moments making out he broke the kiss and looked at him. "Cute." He said in a low tone. He smiled adorably with his face blushing. He took some quick steps back and took a picture of him "Say X" he laughed. The photo was terrible but he knew Murdoc would be too dizzy after that kiss to run after him with his camera. He wondered where the woman was by now.

Murdoc wasn't expecting him to be so on guard and he didn't expect him to push him on the bench nor the knee to the crotch. He moaned from it and kissed him harder. His jeans felt a little too tight.

When he pulled away, Murdoc was in a bit of a fog, the blood all rushed to his groin. Then he saw Stuart take the photo and he growled. "I'm going to take a photo of you the next time I make you cum." He said a little breathlessly. He waited a moment for his hard on to go away and finally stood up. His attempt at trying to grab the camera was frustrated and he even got a worse photo of him. He laughed and shook his head.

"Come on, let’s keep walking." He said, grabbing his hand and walking through the garden with him again.

Stuart blushed profusely. He wasn't upset.... Just curious about his cum face. He knew Murdoc’s one was adorable and fucking hot. The sounds he made were really sensual. However, he wouldn't think about that and have a hard on in the middle of a garden and ruin everything.

He grabbed his hand back and his bag "You're really adorable Muds...." he giggled "thank God only I know that...." he interlaced their fingers walking like a teenage girl in love. " Let’s take pictures of us in more intimate moments huh? Sounds nice...." he shrugged.

Murdoc laughed and brought his hands up to kiss. "It better stay like that. You're one of the very few who knows. To everyone else I'm a god." He winked. "Oh you want to take pics when we're shagging or.... Are you talking more sweet moments? Because, if I'm being completely honest, I have always wanted to make a video of us shagging. Your moans are like music and your face is the best...." he chuckled and decided to keep teasing him.

"Me taking you from behind, I could have a camera in front of us capturing your moans and all your little noises and faces you make. Then I could be holding one and showing how your ass swallows me up, yeah?" He knew he was being way too lewd right now, but he wanted to get Stu back for the boner he had to endure a few minutes ago. But he wasn't lying either. He wanted to do that for a while now.

Stuart swallowed. It sounded a lot...... Hot. Moreover, he never thought Murdoc would want someone as clumsy as him to take part in a "movie" bit it would be special, something theirs. "I.... Might have to be drunk to do it, love...." he blushed and felt warm inside.  He needed alcohol to be less shy. It was actually a good idea. He tried to avoid the dirty thoughts and keep his cock soft.

He knew he was trying to tease.... He would play this game as well. He smirked. "Well.... Thankfully only I know how the sex god loves to be bottom for the clumsy dumb skinny lad and moans like a whore when I'm making him mine." He said seriously leaning closer his ear. "And that he loves to be punished.... By me..." he laughed, maybe a bondage video could be nice. "Would be really interesting seeing your rear red from blows and you apologizing for me in a video." he bit his neck while walking.

Soon he was back to his normal self "But well he likes to make love to me too.... And that's one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seeing in my life...." he grabbed his hands with the rings putting on over the other and admiring "the sex god likes to be loved and go slow too... Huh?" He kissed his hand. "Let’s make videos and take as many pictures as we can love.... I want to see it all when we're older...." he bit his lip blushing hard he could easily see then together after 10, 20, married and happy.

Murdoc smirked at seeing Stuart blush to his comments. He wasn't expecting him to turn it around on him. He blushed a bright red when Stuart mentioned how he liked to bottom and moan like a whore, especially when he got close to his ear, practically whispering. He shivered and bit his lip. His cursed himself internally when he felt his jeans get tight again. He imagined just how degrading a video like that would look and he loved it. He cursed himself again for having all these crazy kinks.

He was definitely down for the videos and pictures Stuart mentioned. He smiled fondly, "Yeah.... I like to go slow sometimes.... Especially when I want to take care of you. He smiled and kissed him. "You really think we'd want to see them when we're older?" He asked as they walked. His hard on was going down, thankfully now.

Stuart thought for a moment.... "Yeah Muds.... I mean..." he looked at him fondly "look what we lived in this 8 years we know each other right....? Noodle grew up.... Many shows we made... Our first kiss.... We dating.... Marrying...... All those things are stuff I wanna remember forever and ...." he looked at his camera

"Photos are a nice way of doing that, right, like you could freeze that moment in time.... Imagine when we have white hairs we see the crazy shit we did when young wild free and in love ...." he chuckled

 "If.... If we fight one day and want to I dunno break up or .... Divorce" he never thought he would use this work with Murdoc of a people "we can always looks back to what brought us together and.... Find reasons to try again.... To continue...."

He never thought about they apart really but if it happened, good memories were a way of getting back together and having strength to go ahead.

Murdoc scoffed and smiled, "I don't know about you Stu, but I don't plan on ever getting grey hairs. Murdoc Niccals does not get old." He puffed out his chest a bit, as if proud of himself.

"But you do make a good point I suppose. But would we really want to look at our old sex tapes when we're old and wrinkly and can't bone cause we'd break a hip? To see that you used to get satisfied all the time by this hot piece of ass," he gestured to himself, "would only make you sad that we couldn't do that anymore, right" he laughed. He was bringing out his full ego but he didn't care.

Stuart laughed. He knew his ego would appear sooner or later. "I think it would be nice.... You like nostalgic stuff don't you?" He chuckled "especially if it's something about us right?" He knew how Murdoc loved remembering good stuff from the past.... Now they would have memories together to remember.

"Actually no Muds.... Cuz when we're not able to fuck anymore love will remain y'know....? Feelings remain even if the body doesn’t follow." He blushed "I’d still love you even if we don't shag.... And I know a sex god won't ever be not able to good old fuck huh?" He joked And nudged him playfully.

Murdoc stop shagging? No this was a though that would never cross Stuart's mind. It was easier Stuart not able to fuck anymore and Murdoc looking for other person to shag than keeping him. On the other hand Stuart would be with him even if he wasn't able to shag anymore...... This was just a detail compared to all he felt towards the Satanist.

Murdoc chuckled, "Yeah yeah, I know we'd still be together if we didn't shag. I doubt I would ever come to that. I think I enjoy sex a little too much." He truly didn't ever see himself stop having sex, but he also didn't see himself get old either.

He grabbed Stuart's ass and gave it a bit of a squeeze. "I know for a fact I couldn't stop touching this ass." He laughed and moved his hand up to his hip and pulled him close, kissing his cheek. "On a more serious note, I don't think I could leave you anyways then Stuart. You are the love of my life." He said fondly. "And i'll be happy to look at those videos and pictures and see how we used to be while also looking forward to creating new memories, you know?"

Stuart nodded. He was happy they agreed in something. He leaned closer him wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He stopped him and kissed his lips passionately.

"You are the love of my life." He said seriously. "And I think we should bring some.... I dunno white doves to our wedding on the beach.... What do you think....?" He joked laughing.

Murdoc chuckled, "I want nothing but black ravens all over at our wedding. They can pick pocket for us." He chuckled. "I’ll be curious to see how your father takes our wedding. I'll bet you 40 bucks he freaks out when we tell him and then I bet you another 40 he'll glare holes into me the entire ceremony." He had been wanting to talk about Stuart's father for a while. He was nervous about the reveal to them when they got back. Stuart's father was his biggest obsticle.

"If.... If your parents were totally against it.... Would you call the wedding off?" He asked hesitantly.

Stuart looked at him "Deal.... 80 bucks." He knew his father would get mad for sure when he received the new. He looked at him seriously. "No." He said firmly "I'm almost 30 Mu’doc they don't control my life or my choices anymore...." He narrowed his eyes "If they don't approve they should just.... Not come to the ceremony y'know? Leave us be...." He shrugged.

"Even hating you or something I’ll stay their son...... Their only son. That married you." He said lowly sounding sure of his decision. The idea of his parents hating his choices was what hurt deep inside Stuart not really they hating Murdoc...... He could hear his dad already shouting and saying how it was a stupid idea and he not allowing him to do it cuz Murdoc would ruin his life.

"Don't worry about that, Muds...." He told him quietly. " Not my parents or anyone will prevent the wedding from happening" he smiled " the only people who can do that are you and me...."

Murdoc smiled and took a deep breath. He was always worried Stuart would second guess his decision. He always talked about how much he loved his family and how much he wanted them to be at the wedding. "I just.... Worry that I couldn't give you the wedding you want, you know? Would you really be happy if your parents didn't show? You'd be thinking about it all day. You'd be miserable Stu." He said.

"We do have some time and everything, so I'm sure I could convince your father eventually, you know? I just don't want you miserable during the happiest moment of your life, yeah?" He said looking down at a bush of yellow flowers. One was on the ground, probably accidently cut or broken at the stem somehow. He bended to pick it up and put it in Stuart's hair.

"Mu’doc" he called his attention smiling after the flower was put in his hair "I know I have all my dreams of a perfect wedding but...." He looked at him and grabbed his hands "life isn't perfect." He smiled "me and you aren't too. I appreciate you're worried but.... What's the point in convincing him to come just cuz I want? My father has the right not to want.... And I need to respect that as long as he needs to respect I'm marrying the man he dislikes." He sounded really mature.

"I want people there who agree with what I'm doing.... I don't need to convince no one, Muds.... You apologized to him.... All was said and done.... Of they don’t approve... Their loss. I don't live with  them love, i live with you, you’re my life now. They had their chance already." He smiled "it will hurt a bit, but it's not cuz of you. Hurts me my parents not supporting my decisions. So don't worry.... Will be the best moment of my life...." He reassured him.

Murdoc nodded and smiled. He tried to lighten the mood. "Now.... What are we going to do about your height? Can you kneel? Cause I'm the one standing at the alter first, I need to be taller." He joked.

They kept walking and after a bit, Murdoc gave Stuart some more food to feed some birds. When he was doing that, Murdoc took the opportunity to snap a few photos of his own with his phone. He smiled at it, understanding the beauty behind photos.

"Of course I can kneel.... But I won’t" he laughed. He didn’t care about the difference in heights.... It was visible since always. And they knew about that. "Maybe you can wear higher heels...." he said playfully.

Stuart noticed Murdoc taking photos and didn’t bother.... He thought he was seeing how it was a nice hobbie, photographing.  He smiled in them. He asked himself where the lady would be by now. He looked at a specific spot and found they would take the best picture there "Muds, Muds.... Can we sit right there to take a picture of us? I can set the timer.... I want to see how i look with this flower in me head" he said jumping up and down excited. Yellow was a good color to contrast his hair.

He placed Murdoc in the correct spot and positioned the camera. "Ready, love?" he would put ten seconds and run to be next to him. "It will take three photos, so if you want to change positions, better do it fast" he warned

 Murdoc snorted at his higher heels comment. "Seriously? You think I'm going to wear anything else besides my Cuban heels? Oh I don't think so." He knew the height thing was already established, but it would be hilarious seeing Stuart try to be shorter. He shrugged, being taller was a dream and only that.

When he wanted to take the photos, Murdoc was a little unprepared. "You wanna take pictures together?" He wasn't sure they really had pictures together, except on stage now. Stuart, however, was excited to take pictures, especially with that flower, so Murdoc obliged. He smirked when Stuart told him about the three positions, he was going to have a little fun.

When the first one was set to go, he took a normal picture, a small smile on his face Next to Stuart, his hand resting on top of the kids. Next he got closer to Stuart and right before it went off, he kissed Stuart's on the cheek. Then for the third he quickly got up and sat on Stuart's lap sideways, his arms around his neck and he cupped his chin and pulled him to Murdoc to kiss deeply. After it went off he still kept kissing him.

Stuart did the three positions on purpose. He knew Murdoc was unprepared but he would be creative. And he loved his idea. He kissed him even deeper when the photos were done cupping his face and showing his tongue inside his mouth. He felt incredibly loved. He thought the photos would be amazing.

He broke the kiss slowly "see how photos can be really interesting....?" he whispered panting. He pressed his forehead against Murdoc’s and smiled "I love you...." he whispered fondly. His heart was racing.... His whole soul happy in Murdoc’s presence. Even the flower on his hair fell with his kiss.

Murdoc chuckled, "Yeah  I can see how they would be interesting love." He stroked his face gently and stared into those big black voided eyes. "I love you too Stuart." He whispered and gave his cheek a final kiss before getting off of his lap.

"Shall we head out and see the atrium. I think the garden is almost done." He asked, bending over to grab the flower that fell out of his hair and set it back in. "Unless, of course, you wanted more pictures?" He asked. He was willing to wait all day if that's what Stuart wanted. He thought the atrium would be fun though. All those birds up close.

Stuart smiled goofy to that flower back into his hair. He felt special and hoped some hummingbird would go to it on his head. This would make him so happy. He grabbed the camera to see the three photos they took. "No Muds.... They were amazing.... " he blushed, the third was really interesting, the way he was kissing the singer and the flowers. He loved it.

"Let's go to the atrium so, love...." he said standing up and grabbing his hand. He was curious about it too.... Maybe taking more photos with Murdoc.

Murdoc smiled as he saw the singer give a wide smile from the flower. He tucked some blue hair behind his ear affectionately. He felt like a huge softie, brushing hair behind his lovers ear. He would scoff at himself if it didn't feel so damn good. He liked seeing the kids smile.

He walked with him out of the garden, which brought them back to the building with the atrium. He walked in with him and the lady was sitting at her desk, smiling when they came in.

"Oh! How was it? Did you two get some good pictures and get to feed some birds? They're quite lovely aren't they?" She said cheerfully. Murdoc just nodded in agreement and looked at Stu.

"Oh yeah, this one here got a ton of pictures. It was quite nice." He said.

Stuart smiled wide to her" Yeah we did it lady.... They're so colorful and so tiny.... Especially that one that has all the colors of the rainbow. I Love  it!" He said excitedly. "Thank you for helping the little ones.... It's truly beautiful what you do in here...." he squeezed Murdoc’s hand and smiled at her. He was loving that flower in his hair and the way Murdoc was so soft with him. That was the best idea he could have had. "Is there any other place here we can visit lady?" He wondered if they didn't see anything.

She laughed and nodded. "Follow me and I’ll show you to the atrium where we let our less injured birds hang out till they recover. She had them follow her down a hall to a massive enclosed space with windows and everything that the birds couldn't fly to or anything fly in. It almost looked like the outside, filled with small trees and bushes full of the native flowers. There were birds everywhere, quite a few mainly hanging on branches and in the bushes, quite a few of them unable to fly around.

Murdoc’s mouth fell open, even he was impressed. The birds seemed a little more open to people walking up to them or near them. The lady gave them more of the food to feed everyone.

"Go ahead and walk around, just be mindful where you step since some like to bounce around scavenging on the floors for food." The lady said, she went to water some nearby bushes.

Stuart's mouth fell as well there were so many injured birds.... He felt sorry for them, especially the ones who couldn't fly. They were birds.... They were born to fly. It was beautiful and truly sad at the same time.

He walked around leaving Murdoc for a moment. He watched his step and carefully got near as many birds he could.... He felt so bad for them. He got closer especially a yellow one, one of the birds who were unable to fly. He showed him the flower he had on his head. "See it's yellow as you...." He bird tilted his head and looked to the flower. Stuart smiled absentminded.

"See, Muds....?" He showed him the bird "Pretty friendly innit?" He said caressing the small bird. He looked at the lady "what are the most common injuries you find? You have like.... A cemetery for the ones that can't be saved?" He whispered to her sounding sad. For the singer even birds deserved to rest at peace. They should deal with some losses too.... He kept caressing the small bird leaning closer Murdoc. He felt so stupid for caring about those creatures.

The lady nodded, "Yeah, actually, we usually have a pretty high success rate of birds that survive, but we do have a few that don't make it unfortunately. We actually cremate them and spread their ashes in the garden to be with the other birds."

Murdoc partially listened, but he was distracted when he thought he saw someone else in the atrium, but when he turned his head to get a closer look, there was no one there. His eyes wandered for a few minutes, waiting for someone to pop up, but no one did. It gave Murdoc a bit of a chill, so he turned back to listen to the lady and try to ignore the paranoid feeling he felt.

Stuart nodded to her accompanying her explanations. "That's a nice destination of the ones that don't make it...." he smiled for the little bird in his hand. He looked at Murdoc "Hey babe are you okay....?" He asked softly placing a hand on his shoulder noticing hi. Again spaced out. This was starting to worry the singer a bit....

Murdoc was like that years ago.... When he came to him drunk and ranting about his life.... He usually spaced out and the singer tried to listen to him and bring him back to reality.

Murdoc jumped when Stuart place a hand on him. He looked at Stuart, stuttering. "O-oh, uh, what was that love? Sorry.... I.... Thought I saw someone...." he said, looking around again. He looked back at Stuart, "Did you see anyone.... Um, never mind. I think it was just a bird." He waved his hand, as if waving the thought away.

"Anyways, shall we take a look around? I think you can get some good pictures over there." He pointed in the opposite direction he had been looking earlier to a beautiful set of trees and bushes with a variety of birds.

He looked up at Stuart, a hint of desperation in his voice, "Want me to take your picture?" He wanted to get away from that area he had been looking as quickly as possible, it still gave him a paranoid feeling he just couldn't shake. He hoped Stuart would agree.

Stuart frowned. Murdoc was acting strange all of a sudden. "No I haven't seen anyone love...." he answered him. He looked at the direction Murdoc was looking at and there weren't even birds there. He was confused.

Murdoc was right, good pictures should be taken from where he was pointing at. But Stuart kept worried about him. He looked at the other direction trying to focus on the landscape. He looked back to Murdoc.

He leaned closer leaving the woman for a moment to grab his fiancée’s attention. He looked into his eyes seeing his desperation and placed a hand on his face reassuringly. "Muds...." he called him with his soft angelic voice trying to bring him back into reality. He leaned closer and kissed him. It was a tender soft and meaningful kiss. He broke it and looked into his eyes "it's all right. Focus on me okay?" He couldn't lie to Stuart. He got desperate for a moment.... The singer didn't know why but his mission was to make him calm again.

He kissed his forehead cupping his face. He smiled. "Let's look around my love." He whispered grabbing his hand to walk around. "You can join me with my pictures huh?" He wondered that now leaving the Satanist alone wasn’t a good idea. He went to the direction Murdoc pointed

Murdoc was saved from his paranoid thoughts by Stuart's sudden kiss. He focused on just those soft lips and kissed him back gently. He nodded softly to Stuart telling him to focus on him. He closed his eyes when he kissed his forehead. This was helping more than he thought it would. He happily held Stuart's hand, giving the other direction one last look before turning his back to it.

When they got to the spot, Murdoc didn't feel near as paranoid and he could focus on other things, like how Stuart looked magnificent in front of him surrounded by birds. He smiled and took Stuart's camera and took a few photos of him. Stuart was a natural in front of the camera, Murdoc was a little jealous sometimes.... Or maybe all the time.

"Did you want some pictures of us together?" He asked, handing the camera back. "This really is a great spot." He looked at a few of the flowers he hadn't really seen outside.

Stuart smiled and tried to catch his attention as long as he could so Murdoc could feel better. When he noticed he was asking for photos together but not sounding desperate he smiled. "Of course my love...." he said excitedly leaning closer him.

He asked kindly the woman to take a picture of them while he positioned Murdoc in a beautiful part of that spot. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and waited for Murdoc to wrap around his waist. He looked at him smiling softly. "Say bird, Muds..." he joked kissing the top os his head. That photo would definitely show their height difference. He was still with the little yellow bird on his hand. He looked at the camera and Stuart giggled

Murdoc smiled and wrapped his arm around Stuart's waist. He felt warm when the singer kissed the top of his head, he didn't even care how short he looked compared to Stuart, it was a sweet moment.

"Bluebird." He said, grinning wide and gripping his waist firmly as the lady took the picture. She handed it back to them and he looked at the preview picture with Stuart. They both looked like an actual couple. It almost seemed surreal to him. They really needed to take more photos together.

He turned to Stuart, "So did you like this place Stuart? I really hoped you would, my little Bluebird." He gave him another quick kiss.

Stuart smiled seeing Murdoc back to normal. He didn’t think he could have such a quick and good effect on him. He looked at the photo and blushed, Murdoc was smiling like never before. He wasn’t ashamed of being a softie. The little bird and the flower on his head on the picture turned everything much more interesting and genuine.

He looked at Murdoc "I loved it, Muds.... You guessed right...." he giggled. He kissed his wonky nose and went to set the little bird free in a safe spot on the floor as he didn’t fly. He went back to him and wrapped the Satanist in a tight hug "I love you, Muds..." he whispered into his ear "Thank you my love...." he felt like being soft now with Murdoc. Who would say one day they would be feeding birds as a couple about to get married. He giggled again. It was really surreal.

He broke the kiss "Hope someday we can do another trip like this....  Lots of trips together.... I wanna know the whole world with you.... I wanna show everyone the amazing husband I have that take so much care of me. " he said honestly looking into his eyes. He didn’t even mind the lady near them. He was too happy to bother. He looked at their hands "I wanna show everyone my gorgeous ring when it comes...." he chuckled.

Murdoc blushed profusely at all the sweet things Stuart was saying. Of course he wanted all of that as well, he just wasn't sure he could voice it so openly in front of someone else they didn't know. How the hell was he supposed to do it at a wedding? He was embarrassed, but in a good way. He was still happy with Stuart and wouldn't change anything, plus the lady didn't seem to mind, she just went back to watering some of the bushes.

He looked back at Stuart. "It's a good thing you're so good at saying they sweet stuff.... I'm so bad at it in front of others...." he whispered, blushing more. "How do you do it?" He asked more seriously.

Stuart smiled and rubbed his shoulders "you make me do it...." he whispered looking at him "when I look at you I feel I can do anything, Muds.... You inspire me..." he giggled. It was true, he admired Murdoc a lot and since always.

"You make me so happy that.... Those things just come to me y'know? It's like a spell or I dunno.... Sometimes I don't even think and the words come...." he shrugged blushing as well. Murdoc was so adorable. He kissed his forehead. "I never said those things to anyone before you Muds....you're the first. I didn't even know I could, I'm so dumb..." he smiled softly. He didn't even say things that sweet even to Paula.... He thought he was too stupid for that. And he swore he was in love with her.

 "It’s all for you and cuz of you, love." He let his shoulders go "I think I'm in love.... And those things happen when you love someone...." he rubbed the back of his neck "I'm sorry I make you embarrassed with that, but you make me feel so good...."

This time Stuart was trying to bring him back from his paranoid state but sometimes he just did cuz he felt like. Murdoc made him this way.

Murdoc chuckled, "Don't be sorry love. I love you too, I just wish I was better at saying it." He said. He had thankfully forgotten about his little paranoia a moment ago and was wholly focused on Stuart. He pulled him close, "I can't wait for you to see what else I have planned for you." He whispered.

He grabbed the singer’s camera and then leaned close to him so they could take a couple selfies. For a few of them he kissed Stuart's cheek, then kissed his lips. He looked at the preview pics then at Stuart. "Should we post a few of these? I bet the media has been going nuts since out kiss on stage and our complete absence...." he said, remembering the kiss on stage.

Stuart was hearing right? He wanted to post? He squealed, "Oh God Muds.... Let's post it!" He said excitedly "you can pick the photos you want .... A-all of them are good.... I mean y-you’re handsome...." he started stuttering so happy he was. He thought Murdoc would be ashamed of showing them.

"Muds you can't express with words but posting a photo it's a wonderful way of showing it...." he jumped up and down "on your profile or mine.... Or the band's official?" He said looking through the photos they had. "Should we say we're traveling or something....?" He knew the photos needed a subtitle.... Would Murdoc allow him to put anything? He bit his lip.

Murdoc laughed, surprised by the singer’s excited mood over posting a photo. "How long have you been wanting to post something? You should have said something. Let's put one on your profile and I’ll put one on mine. We'll each pick our favorite, yeah?" He really loved seeing Stuart so enthusiastic to show the world how they were in love. He actually felt a little bad that Stuart had been holding all this back for him.

"You can choose whichever photo you like, I don't mind. Do.... Do you want to announce the entire news.... The engagement?" He asked nervously. He wouldn't mind, but he was a little nervous at the possible backlash the singer might receive.

"You're okay with the possible consequences?" He asked quietly.

Stuart thought for a moment.... "are you okay?" He asked seriously "id love to post but...... We would have to really talk to the press about it.... You're aware....?" He looked at him "or you want me to talk about it alone if we're questioned? Or we can leave them speculating...." he said looking into his eyes a bit nervous.

"Muds we have to do what we think it's better.... So I want to hear your opinion too...." he said differently from the last time, less scared and much more certain, not letting Murdoc decide by himself alone. "I wanted to post it for a while now.... But I didn't ask you cuz I thought you wanted to wait till we have the rings...." he bit his lip "but I want to post the photo, saying we're getting married and everything.... The "he proposed me" thing" he blushed hard

 "What do you think my fiancée?" He placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled. "I promise I’ll deal with all hate and retaliation the best I can...." he said certain but a bit scared about the band's image.... In the end it was Murdoc’s band and he didn't want to ruin their fandom or anything cuz of a marriage.

Murdoc looked at his singer. He saw how much he had wanted this, he didn't want to be afraid of it anymore. He was Murdoc Niccals, the man who sold his soul to Satan and drunkenly conjured up demons at parties, why be afraid of this? He grabbed his hand and kissed it. "Post them. I'm happy. We're happy. That's what matters right? Let’s choose some photos yeah?" He smiled wide.

"We, as a couple, will still talk to them when we get back and have the rings. We can give them a little teaser now?" He winked at him. He was kind of excited to do this. "Just.... No crazy embarrassing ones, yeah?"

"You're right Stuart. We're getting married. We love each other, what's to hide?" He said, bringing him down by tugging on his shirt collar and kissing him deeply.

Stuart smiled and kissed him back. He broke the kiss and hugged him tight nodding. He hid his face on his shoulder "I-I love you...." his voice was broken. "I really do...." he whispered.

He broke the kiss and looked at him with tears in his eyes. He was really shaken. "Thank you......" he whispered. "L-let's pick the best ones to announce our engagement right?...." he chuckled and his tears fell. He quickly wiped them. "There’s nothing to hide right? I mean.... You're not embarrassed of me.... And" he sobbed. "Sorry Muds.... I'm just happy... You want to show you're with me...." he sniffled "when we have the rings we think about how to tell everyone.... My parents yours the fans...." he knew that fans would already know but their families was better talk in person or.... Send invitations.... They would have to figure out if they would have time for that when they came back

He was really shaken that Murdoc was that determined to tell everyone the truth.... He always had to do it alone.... And Murdoc was scared. Hearing him determined made his weak heart melt.

Murdoc hugged Stuart back tightly, feeling a little more guilty as the kid sounded like he wanted to cry, then he did. He felt even worse when Stuart said he wasn't embarrassed of him. His heart broke as he wiped the singer’s tears away.

"No love, I was embarrassed of you. It was myself. I didn't.... I didn't think I deserved someone as amazing as you and.... You didn't deserve this mess of a person. I was so worried everyone else would think that, hell, I'm sure there will still be some who do. I was the bastard bass player that.... That always hurt you. I was so worried that I'd get a chance to be loved by you and then everyone else would convince you of how you shouldn't be with me and it'd get taken away...." he whispered. He wiped more tears from his cheeks.

"I love you too Stuart.... So fucking much. Please don't think I was ever embarrassed of you...." he smiled and kissed his face. He felt awful at how much both of them have ended up crying  so far on a trip that was supposed to be happy.

"Let's choose those photos yeah? Which ones do you think would be best? Ones that show we're in love, right?" He chuckled and gave him a gentle kiss.

"No.... No one knows who you are, Muds.... The amazing and lovely human being you are.... " he whispered sniffling and calming down. "I don’t care what they think.... The only person you should be worried in making happy is me.... And the same here...." he smiled. "I'm happy, Muds.... I really am.... I'm sorry I'm crying...." he whispered.

He focused on the photos forgetting what he was feeling for a moment. He should be happy, they would post beautiful photos of them. "Well...... I really liked the third photo we took in the garden, the one you're kissing me in my lap...." he blushed showing him which one was that. "The one we took here with the little yellow buddy.... And some of the ones you took now, the selfies...." he looked at him

"I think any of them show people we're in love.... What are your favorites?" he leaned closer him wrapping his long arm around his waist to see the photos. "May I write the subtitles, love? I show you before posting...." Of course he would write something that wouldn’t make Murdoc embarrassed. But that would tell the audience the news.

Murdoc laughed, "And I don't really want to show that side to anyone except you, but.... They're gonna have to learn I am a bit of a softie huh? And you're absolutely right Stuart. I should only be worried about making you happy.... You're my one and only. I know you're happy, you cry when you're happy too." He teased.

Murdoc nodded, looking at the photos. "I like that one in the garden as well...." he blushed a little seeing it again. He really needed to get over that fear of the world seeing him like that. It would be quite a shock wouldn't it? He looked at the rest.

"We can post one of the selfies where I'm kissing your cheek, then the one we just took with the little yellow bird.... Then how about this one." He grabbed the camera and faced it towards the two of them. He brought Stuart down to kiss and flipped the camera off at the same time. Very crude picture but he liked it. He chuckled and handed it back. "Only if you want. I was mainly teasing, just wanted a kiss."

"You can write whatever you like love. I trust you, you know?" He said, giving him a sweet smile. He really did.

Stuart nodded "If you want a kiss just come and get it, silly. I won't deny it...." he said softly. He was happy Murdoc was dealing better with his soft side.... That thing of having to show everyone he wasn't soft to keep his image was something stupid at this time.

"So.... I'll put the selfie and us with little yellow.... And the one we took now...." he said smiling. Actually he would post the one they were kissing on the lips to see he fans reaction. In the end they already kissed and everyone saw it.... It was just to prove they were together for real.... "i'll post in mine profile and tag you.... I'll think about something nice to write down.... I promise...." he smiled to him. "After I can read the comments if you like...."

He blushed profusely "there's one that.... I know we won't be able to take here.... Cuz we don't have the rings but...." he looked down to his camera "I wanted to show my ring.... Like that pictures woman take to show they're engaged...... Showing their hands.... With that stupid "i said yes" thing " he blushed even more "I know it's stupid and all that.... I won't post it. It's just to have with me.... If you don't mind...." he confessed. He was a really romantic lad in the end.

Murdoc nodded, "Good plan love. I'm sure you'll write something lovely...." he said softly. He knew the kid had a way with words sometimes, at least for these kinds of things.

He gave a small snort. "Do you really want to read it all? All the comments? " That sounded like a good way to torture themselves, unless they were maybe drunk....  He would think about it. He just worried Stuart would get upset.

He lifted an eyebrow to the one he wanted to take. "You really want to take something like that?" He teased him. "You're the one that's a softie, my little Bluebird."

"Oh stopit...." he said laughing nervously.... "It was just an idea...." he knew he was a softie. He blushed profusely "and yeah i want to read the comments...." he would tease Murdoc "I wanna know how many birds would cry cuz the pretty lead singer is taken...... And its gonna get married...... And the sex god isn’t available anymore.... Poor sods" he joked

"I know I'm pretty popular among girls.... I wanna see how they're jealous...." he winked to him trying to make Murdoc jealous.... Of course he wouldn’t, it was just another way of seeing the thing through a positive way. "Don’t you wanna see too Muds?" he chuckled

He knew bad comments would come, hate, not supportive, rage.... People saying how that was wrong and Stuart was stupid.... But he would deal with all.... Something told him they would be really supported among fans. He was sure about his choice. Even all happening so fast.

Murdoc chuckled nervously. "Yeah well all those birds crying are going to become murderous birds at some point. Murderous against me for stealing you. We'll see how that goes." He knew Stuart really didn't have much to worry about, there would be some for him, but most of it would go towards Murdoc. He still wanted to do it, but he knew it was gonna be rough if Stuart wanted to read the comments.

He smiled at the singer, "I know you're trying to make me jealous but it's not going to work. I have your whole heart and I know that. Nothing to be jealous of. I'm the best there is and you know that." He chuckled. He needed to be positive for Stuart, the kid wanted to know how their fans thought about them, so they'd find out together.

"When are you going to post them?" He asked, looking at a little black bird that flew and landed on a branch next to them. He held out his hand for some food and it happily hopped down to see him, picking at the food.

Stuart smiled.... Murdoc wasn’t jealous but it was a good thing actually. He was secure Stuart was his and showing him everyday how much he wanted them both together. It was all sutart could have asked for.

"As soon as we reach home babe, I need my computer for that...." he said softly. He wanted to post as soon as possible actually. "And I still need to think about my pretty text... Something that's really us both.... Y’know?" he looked at the little bird "after we can have fun reading the reactions.... Or you want us to do something else later, love? Any surprise planned?"

He asked softly. It was a beautiful bird. "and of course, I don’t care about those girls.... Just thought it could be fun...." he shrugged "focus in the laughable replies not the bad ones...." he said seriously. "Murderous or not they could actually.... What they say? Ship? Yeah, ship us...." he chuckled.

Murdoc gave a snorted laugh, "Where did you learn that word? I doubt people do that." He was curious now though. He wasn't sure if people actually shipped them specifically, but it wouldn't hurt to look.

He looked at Stuart, "Well.... We can head back to the beach house for a bit, then I wanted to take you on a.... Uh.... Surprise tonight, if that's okay." He said nervously. He had an idea of where to go with Stuart, but he really hoped the kid liked it. Planning all these events made him nervous, he always second guessed whether Stuart would like it or not.

Stuart's eyes shone again "another surprise? Oh my god Muds you're the best husband ever!" He said excitedly and kissed him. "Do I have to change clothes....? Take a shower....? Anything fancy?" He asked like a curious child. Murdoc could want to stay at the beach house and cuddle that he would be as happy as he was. Anywhere with Murdoc was special. "Oh I love surprises, you planned one for each day here?" He bit his lip and squeezed his hand.

He looked at the bird "see little black one? Isn't Muds sweet...?. He's making me another surprise.... Twice in a day!" He squealed blushing and in love. "And I dunno where I learned.... Should have listened to some teenager saying somewhere.... Or I read in the internet..." the singer had a really short memory.... But he remembered hearing it somewhere. He turned to Murdoc leaving the bird alone with a large grin on his face and that little flower in his hair. He looked adorable. An adorable dolt.

Murdoc chuckled and grabbed his hand. "You're lucky you're so fucking cute." He brought him down to kiss him. "Let’s head home and i'll tell you a little more about your surprise, yeah?" He started walking with him to the door of the atrium. He waved and thanked the lady immensely for the tour.

When they got outside, they walked to the same path and back to the road. That guy was waiting for them with his vehicle. They got in and went down the bumpy road again, much to Murdoc distain.

He turned to Stuart. "So when we get home, just where something comfortable still. I dunno if you want to change or not, if it smells like birds or not." He chuckled. "But bring a swimming suit and a towel." He mentioned casually.

Stuart wondered what Murdoc was planning with these things. He just smiled and nodded. "Well if I'm getting wet I don't think I’ll take a shower...." he chuckled and squeezed his hands "thank you for all the surprises, Muds...... Thank you so much...." he whispered looking at him. "I can post the photos after it if you want...." he said while they went through the bumpy road. He was shaking and a bit blushed so anxious he was. "All your surprises are good love.... I mean it." Seeing him trying that was the best surprise and gift he could have asked for.

Murdoc smirked, "well let’s see how it goes, yeah?" He held his hand as they got taken back to the beach house. He flopped down onto the couch and turned on the tv. They had a little time to kill before they left.

"You could probably post those pictures now if you want. Then we can read the replies when we get back." He said, trying not to sound too anxious about it. He was nervous, but that didn't matter. He wanted to do it.

Stuart entered the house and nodded. He entered the bedroom and grabbed his computer. He turned it on and while the photos were downloading, he saved the others in files and changed his clothes.

He didn't know exactly what to wear so he put his swim trunks under some shorts and another shirt with a light pattern. He thought he was okay and he grabbed the towel. He left the camera charging.

He looked through the window and the sun was about to set. The sky was beautiful. He finally posted the photos written "To our dear fans, me 2D and Murdoc are really together.... Like for real, dating. We're silent cuz we're traveling.... To Jamaica! Isn't that nice?! It was Muds' idea to celebrate. Oops celebrate? Yes celebrate we're getting married! :) He proposed me and I said yes >.< I love this green man ♡ We'll be back in a week to clarify all that.... For now enjoy the photos of the trip ;) You've been great, I’ve been 2D, see ya everyone!"

He thought it was sweet enough. He hoped Murdoc wouldn't be mad he posted one extra photo. He smiled proud of his work and went back to the living room "photos posted and I'm ready love.... When you want we may leave to my surprise...." he said softly and giggled.

Murdoc smiled and pulled the singer towards him on the couch, pulling him onto his lap. He kissed his neck and brushed blue hair away from his face. He looked at him fondly. "It went okay with the photos? I'll be curious to see what's said." He smiled and hugged him close.

He eventually pulled away and nodded, seeing it was dark out now. "Alright, we should be good. Let me go get some swim trunks on as well." He helped Stuart stand up, smacking his ass, then he went and got his swim trunks on and put some actual shorts on with some flip flops and a tank top. It was definitely warm enough. He was a little nervous from wearing that, he never usually did.

He came out and told Stuart, "Come on love." He grabbed his hand, grabbed a few towels, putting them in a bag with their other stuff and walked outside, calling a taxi. He looked out over the ocean as they waited.

Stuart nodded to him "Things are gonna be pretty good with the photos, Muds......" he guaranteed him. He followed Murdoc with his sight and didn't understand what he wanted. He was getting himself ready for the bad comments they would receive.

Once outside he looked at Murdoc rubbing his ass smacked "Where are we going, love....?" He asked softly grabbing his hand "is it far from here....?" He smiled fondly.  He wanted to kiss the Satanist again...... Much more than he did on the couch. He was feeling desire about him. But he would leave for later.

Murdoc smiled, "It's 20 minutes from here. You're gonna have to wait to see." He helped him into the taxi when it arrived. He mentioned the address and the driver nodded and started taking them to their destination. He wanted to spill it, but he could wait. He hated how he couldn't keep a secret from Stuart to save his life. He bit his lip excited.

When they finally reached the place, they were by a lagoon, covered by a trees, but a neon blue glow could be seen peaking through the trees. They walked into a shack that had a sign that said Luminous Lagoon.

Murdoc smiled wide and presented the place to Stuart. "Ta-da! We get to go on a 45 minute ride through this beautifully lit lagoon and then we get to swim in it! Then I get to take you to a romantic dinner here at the shack. There's a restaurant out back overlooking the lagoon." He said excitedly. He really hoped Stuart was excited.

Once they arrived there Stuart hid his face with both hands. It was stunning "Oh God...." he whispered. "It's so.... Beautiful.... Mu’doc.... And a dinner...." his eyes watered again.... "All this.... Only for me? Pinch me love.... I should be dreaming......" he joked.

He turned to Murdoc and jumped on his lap wrapping his legs around him and his arms around his shoulders. He kissed him tons of times saying thank you between each kiss and the next one. "Mu’doc seriously.... You're the most romantic lad in the universe.... I’m so lucky" he said after breaking the kiss "thank you for spoiling me this much...... This place is breathtaking.... I could marry you right now...." he hugged him again "Oh Muds... I love you so much...." he whispered. "I don't deserve this much...... But thank you......" he kissed his hair still in his lap.

Murdoc laughed and took in all his kisses and praises. "You're welcome love. Let’s go in shall we?" He was so pleased the singer was happy, that's what he truly wanted. He kissed his forehead and held his hand as they walked into the shack to buy a ticket.

They went to stand in line for the next boat ride. The boat was an open boat that had bench seats on either side of the boat to allow for people to look out. He held Stuart's hand the entire time, excited.

When they got on the boat, they sat to the back, alone thankfully. He sat excitedly as they waited for more people to get on the boat. He'd never done anything like this before, he couldn't stop smiling. When they started, they'd go through a near wall of trees and bushes to get to the luminating part.

Stuart looked around holding his hand for his dear life. He was mesmerized about everything. He LOVED shiny things since little. He entered the boat with Murdoc and could notice he was smiling a lot too. That was different for the singer as he wasn’t used to Murdoc smiling.... Well not till now cuz he was smiling a lot more with the singer.

"I can’t believe...... This is so romantic...." he whispered to Murdoc. Actually he wanted to yell and squeal but it would ruin the trip definitely. He cursed letting his camera home, but thankfully he brought his cellphone. "Muds, I want pictures, there’s anyone who takes underwater pictures here?" he asked curiously while looking to everything. He wanted to see how he looked with leg reflecting his black sclera, maybe Murdoc liked it.

Murdoc scoffed, acting offended. "Excuse me? I ooze romance, thank you very much." He was happy the singer liked it so much and he was most excited to swim in it with him. He knew Stuart would look amazing in the glowing water.

Murdoc shook his head. "I don't think so. Not that I'm aware of anyways." He cupped his face and had him look at him. Murdoc smiled and brought him down for a kiss. "If you want, I can always bring you back again before we leave." He chuckled.

The boat started moving and the announcer started greeting everyone and telling everyone a little about himself. Murdoc put his arm around Stuart and held him close, smiling. They were getting closer to the glowing water.

Stuart rolled his eyes to his comment. "Of course...... You're a softie...." he pinched his cheek playfully giggling. He kissed him deeply and looked at the Satanist fondly. He was really happy. "No problem, love, if we have time we can come here again anyday......" he told him softly.

Stuart didn’t want to be rude but he wasn’t really hearing what the guy had to say. He was focused in the water and Murdoc.... He wanted to swim soon. He was really excited. He bit his lip in anticipation squeezing his hand. "This is gonna be awesome love...." he whispered to him. "It's so shiny...." he wanted to put some of that glowing in a jar and bring home if he could.

Murdoc laughed and shot him a playful glare after he pinched his cheek. He nodded, "I suppose we can come here again, I’ll definitely need more alcohol...." he said, looking out on the water. He looked towards the blue glow that was getting closer. He wasn't listening to the guy either, but he didn't care really, he just wanted to swim with Stuart.

He chuckled to Stuart's comments. He was happy the kid wanted to swim with him. He shuddered thinking about how they hadn't really swam together yet, except yesterday and that ended with him bawling his eyes out. That wouldn't be happening here at all.

He smiled as they started to float directly near the florescent microorganisms, glowing a bright bluish green. With it being dark out, it was perfect

Stuart was even more mesmerizes looking at the water. He thought it was magical how shiny they were. He looked almost drooling while the man spoke no stop about the trip.

"Muds...." he whispered "I want to swim with you.... Can we?" he asked lowly. "Or just hug each other under the water...." he giggled "I just want to be closer to you, love...." he said honestly. The singer didn’t even remember about the accident when they last swam...... He could remember well of what happened afterwards. He shivered remembering how he made Murdoc his. He was actually in the mood for that right now but he would wait till the best moment.

Murdoc chuckled, "We'll get to, don't worry love. They'll take us to a good spot to swim, yeah?" He held his hand tight and kissed it. He wasn't listening to the guy at all now ajd he didn't think Stuart was either. Right now it was just the two of them.

"You look beautiful in this blue glow...." he whispered, looking at Stuart. He couldn't wait to swim with him and see him surrounded by that beautiful glow. Then to have dinner after. He was pretty proud of himself for picking something so romantic.

Stuart was a bit absentminded but Murdoc’s voice brought him back to reality. He blushed "O-oh I look? Thank you, my love...." he smiled proudly showing his gap teeth. "I think we would be beautiful kissing under this beautiful blue glow...." he leaned closer rubbing his nose against Murdoc’s.

 He was surprised how that was romantic and how Murdoc really wanted to surprise him and make him happy. He couldn’t wait for the last of the week. "You’re.... The light of my live you know that?" he caressed him face and ran his fingers through his hair. Stuart was doing things like no one was around to see.

Murdoc chuckled and placed a hand on his cheek. "You're the light of my life. Literally.... I always felt like I was in the dark.... Nothing truly mattered to me. Then I met you and it's like someone turned on a light. You were that light.... You gave me meaning...." he whispered and kissed him gently. "I couldn't live without you...."

He stared into his eyes, this was way more romantic than he thought it would be actually. "Christ I love you...." he whispered. "How did I get so lucky?"

Stuart blushed profusely "and.... And you tell me you're not too with words, huh?" He joked. He looked at him "Thank you Muds.... Those are really sweet words you're telling me.... I love you so much.... Please marry me fast...." he whispered needy

 "How did I get so lucky huh....?" He caressed his face feeling his heart melting...... He wasn't ready for his words.... "You’ll never go back to darkness as long as you're with me, love.... I mean it" he said seriously. He kissed his forehead. "My black bird...." he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against his and sighed smiling. He was so in love......

Murdoc chuckled, "I’ll marry you whenever you want, but it'd probably be best to tell a few more people." He caressed the singer’s face. He would marry him right now if he didn't think Stuart's parents would kill him. They'd want to be there and Stuart wants them there.

He nuzzled into Stuart's hand. He felt so loved. It was a warming feeling. Suddenly the boat seemed to stop and he realized they had reached the end already. It went by quicker than he thought it would. Helped to stare lovingly into Stuart's eyes.

He smiled when the announcer said they could jump into the water to swim. Everyone started stripping to their bathing suits, Murdoc did the same. He noticed a few stares at his upside down tattoos. He didn't care though. He looked at Stuart, smiling wide.

"Ready?" He asked.

Stuart noticed people looking at his tattoos.... He frowned to them and grabbed his hand ready to jump. He didn't care if the water was freezing. He kissed his hand and jumped with him laughing.

Once into the water he giggled and kissed him. "I thought it was colder" he wrapped his arms and legs around him floating with him. He rested his head on his shoulder.

Murdoc jumped in and floated with Stuart. They were surrounded by fluorescent blues and greens. Even though there were people swimming on a few feet away, it felt like they were the only two in the world again. It was dark save for the fluorescent glowing. He kissed Stuart gently.

This was a thousand times more romantic than he thought it would be. He wished he had prepared a little better. He actually felt a little nervous. He looked nearby at the blue and green glowing. He ran his hand through it and cupped a bit of the glowing water in his hands. It was amazing.

Stuart looked at him and at the water he grabbed. It was really shiny. "It looks like a fairy tale...." the singer laughed and looked into his eyes. He leaned closer and kissed him. He felt so happy he decided to sing for Murdoc.... He placed the Satanist hugging him and started walking. He sung their song.

The singer slowly started to wander around with him singing into his ear and kissing his neck from time to time.... He felt at peace. One of his hands rested on his hair and another around his waist. He wanted to say thank you for Murdoc for everything he did to him.

Murdoc held onto Stuart, surprised by Stuart suddenly and openly singing to him in public. He didn't care though. He just held onto him tighter, nuzzling into his neck, just listening to him serenade him. He could listen to this man all day. He felt so incredibly lucky.

He chuckled and knew that being so short had it's advantages sometimes. He wrapped his legs around him, so happy to have such a wonderful person in his life. They went through the water so easily together.

Stuart noticed how he was comfortable with him and smiled. He made his hand a shell and started to throw water on his head to soothe him. He could do it whole time if he was able to. He noticed how his hair was beautiful shining against the glowing water. He kissed his head softly.

After some time walking he looked up.... "Hey my love.... Think you could be interested in this...." he whispered to him softly pointing with his head to the moon and giggling. It was huge and seemed so close to them.... He lifted his long arm "I could grab it.... Just for you huh?" He pretended he would grab the moon. "Grab some stars to put on our wedding rings.... Anything to light out way.... " he said absentminded. He grabbed his hand and kissed it right on the ring. He was trying to be romantic too....

"You really want to be my husband....? Right now.... Under the moon and stars.... Surrounded by this gorgeous glowing water ... Would you want to be mine Mu’doc....?" He said looking into his eyes stopping for a moment to walk. He interlaced his fingers with him and smiled.

Murdoc felt so calm. He felt loved and felt so soothed in that position. He closed his eyes and just focused on his singing and his hands and the water. He never thought he'd love being in such a vulnerable position out in public, but he didn't care at all. Everything felt right.

When Stuart nodded towards the moon, he looked at it and laughed. "I'm sure you could grab it with those long lanky arms of yours. I would be honored if you gave it to me." He looked up at the moon and how Stuart was pretending to grab stars. He felt so giddy and happy, a giant smile on his face. Stuart was surprisingly romantic right now.

Murdoc squeezed his hand gently and kissed him long and deep, but as gentle as ever. He pulled away and put his forehead against Stuart's, "I want to be yours, right now. The moon as our witness, lit by the soft glow of the water. How nice would that be love?" He whispered.

Stuart giggled "it would my love.... But I have to tell you we have some other witnesses here...." he looked around to other people. Some of them looking at them narrowing eyes.

"But I definitely wanted to make you mine right here right now if we were alone...." he teased. "Your moans would be lovely in this dark and perfect night...... I bet you'd like a lot too right?" He smiled.

Murdoc didn't look at the other people around them. He didn't want to be reminded they were there. He didn't care honestly. It was just him and Stuart, that was all.

He blushed to his comments and hid his face in Stuart's neck, even if it was dark out. The the thought of being fucked by Stuart here got him a little more turned on than he wanted to admit. He nuzzled into him more and whispered with a smile.

"How bad do you want to make me yours?" He chuckled. He nibbled on his neck a bit, no sense in not having any fun right?

Stuart giggled lowly. He let Murdoc go a bit down against his body still holding him. "This much" he said when Murdoc’s body brushed his hard cock. Thank god his swim trunks could hide it.

"I want to make you mine..." he whispered walking with him around "till this whole lagoon stops glowing.... Till the moon and stars stop shinning Muds......" he pulled him out his neck and looked into his eyes "till the world ends Mu’doc.... I want you mine here, on a bed, in a car, on the floor behind the door or under a table..." he chuckled

 "I want you..." he said seriously and pressed his body against his "today and forever." He whispered into his ear. "cuz you.... Are.... Mine...." he nibbled his ear smiling. "My love, my husband, my life and my whore.... Understand, love?"   He said softly against his ear. "I could kill to hear you moaning my name with your sweet voice begging to fuck you harder right now...." he chuckled.

When Murdoc felt how hard Stuart was, he smiled wide. He had no idea the singer was going to be that dirty tonight, he loved it. The singer was being so romantic about it.... Romantic and dirty. It was perfect for Murdoc.

Then it shifted when Stuart whispered to him that he was his. For some reason that absolutely turned him on more than anything else. He went from half-mast to full hard on. He bit his lip, breathing harder into his neck, pushing closer against him. He let out a little whimper as Stuart talked to him a little more dirty, especially calling him his whore. Stuart was teasing him so bad right now, he couldn't stand it.

He whispered to him, "Yours.... I'll be as loud as you want and beg as much as you want." He nuzzled into his neck and nibbled and bit at him, marking him gently. He then licked from his neck up to his ear. He then nibbled his ear. "You're killing me Stu...." he moaned just loud enough for him to hear.

Stuart giggled "Let's see if you'll survive till we reach home...." he found a rock and sat down on it, a bit dizzy cuz his blood run all somewhere else.... He placed Murdoc in his lap and looked at him. "I hope you really be... Cuz I am thinking about this for a while now...." he confessed softly. He caressed his face.

"I’ll thank for all the surprises.... The way you deserve..." he run his fingers through his hair slowly, just admiring how Murdoc was red in the face and not breathing properly all cuz of him. He felt proud of himself.

"You should see you face...... So adorable...." he whispered. "Not as adorable as the one you make when you cum...... But...." he giggled "How about playing with the camera today....?' He asked trying to get rid of his hard on but still with Murdoc in his lap.

Murdoc swallowed and felt his heart pounding out of his chest because of everything Stuart was saying. He was making it difficult to get rid of his hard on, he was trying to hide it.

"Oh Stu.... You're making it a little hard to wait, you little cock tease." He laughed. He felt his face flush even redder as he talked about his face when he came. He hunched his shoulder a little embarrassed at being called adorable over it. His mouth hung open when he talked about messing with the camera.

"R-really?" He smiled wide. "Like how?" He asked excitedly. Would they film? Just take pictures? What would it be exactly. There was no way he was getting rid of this hard on any time soon.

"We may uh.... We may need to skip dinner." He whined softly. "Can we get it to go?" He pleaded a bit.

"Are you this needy Muds....? He looked around “We can found some place behind the trees and bushes hidden and I can fuck you if you want this much.... Than we have dinner...." he knew Murdoc loved the adrenaline of forbidden places or the possibility of being caught.... But it was a silent and a huge garden.... Maybe his idea would work.

"We can film it take photos.... Whatever you want.... I just need to drink a little first...." he leaned closer his ear "than you can fuck me too...." he teased even more "what you tell me....? You may decide what you prefer Muds...."

"Oh fuck, I want you to fuck me now, I even have lube in my bag, but.... You think I could keep quiet?" He whispered into his ear smirking. He rolled his hips into Stuart, moaning softly. He couldn't decide if he wanted to eat and deal with blue balls, get fucked now, or later. Too many options with very little blood supply going to his brain to think.

"I would love to fuck you later and have a camera...." he growled happily. "You gotta take me first at some point, because you just teased the hell out of me. Can't take it back." He pretended to pout, even crossing his arms in defense, glaring slightly.

Stuart chuckled seeing him that confused with his options. He was really turned on now and it was all Stuart's fault. He looked around and thankfully everyone were minding their on business. He smirked. He placed Murdoc on the rock "stay" he went quickly back to the boat and grabbed Murdoc’s bag. As he was taller it was easier to carry it not wetting.

He guided Murdoc to another distant part of the big lagoon and threw his bag on the land. He went out the water and dragged Murdoc along. He found a good distant spot behind a dense group of bushes. He smiled again.

He turned Murdoc around and offered him his shirt "If you think you'll shout, bite my shirt and don’t make a sound.... We're not that far from other people." He leaned closer his ear "and you don't wanna be caught do you?" He whispered pulling his swim trunks down making Murdoc face the hard surface of a tree's trunk. It was perfect even dark the moon could light them and he had the perfect vision of Murdoc’s back and ass.

He lubbed his now totally hard now cock and pressed it against Murdoc’s entrance. "Beg and I’ll be quick and merciless with you.... Just a quickie as I'm feeling generous.... At home you can be slow with me and my camera...." he pressed a little more "Now I want you to be my cockslut...." he said into his ear totally driven by desire. His other hand grabbed his hip roughly. He really wanted Murdoc.

Murdoc was more than surprised by how commanding Stuart was being. He was extremely excited at the moment as he held onto the shirt with Stuart's cock pressed up against him, how own face and hands against the tree like a dirty little slut. He shivered and smiled in a dazed bliss. He loved the hell out of this kind of sex.

Murdoc growled in excitement as Stuart asked him to bed. "Oh please.... Fuck Stu I’ll do anything. I'm your cockslut. Only yours." He moaned softly and shivered. He was already breathing hard and slightly panting in anticipation. He gagged himself with Stuart's shirt, he knew he was going to be loud. He wiggled his ass a little.

Stuart smirked. Murdoc agreed with him it was all he could have asked for. This and how he was behaving, shivering moaning and melting. Murdoc was totally his. He wiggled his ass and Stuart couldn't help but smack it. "Slut" he growled lowly.

He slammed himself fully into Murdoc all at once clenching his teeth not to be loud. "You're so fucking tight....  No matter how many times I fuck you...." he giggled and started thrusting him. He squeezed his hip and kept him close. If he pressed him against the tree he could cut himself and get hurt.

He softly pulled his hair while fucking him. "You're mine Mu’doc...." he whispered against his ear still fucking him. He bit his neck from behind and moaned lowly his name into his ear "i want to see you cum for me...." he whispered again.

Murdoc was happy he put the shirt in early because feeling Stuart push into him was slightly painful, mostly pleasurable. He gave a really muffled moan, biting down on the shirt, gripping his nails into the tree. And being called a slut and getting slapped right before. Murdoc was in absolute heaven.

Stuart just started fucking him as well, it felt so good to be so tight around him. He let out little moans into the shirt breathing hard. When he pulled his hair, he could feel his cock twitch excitedly. It was already completely hard and dripping precum.

"I'm yours...." he said, muffled through the shirt. He wasn't sure if Stuart understood him  but he didn't care. When Stuart bit him he gave a muffled whimper, knowing he was going to cum soon.

Stuart totally understood him.... He couldn't ask him to respond anything or Murdoc would start shouting he could say. He was close too after a while. They needed to be fast and the adrenaline kept him closer the edge all the time. He held as long as he could so Murdoc could enjoy too.

Stuart decided to keep him close hugging him and closed his eyes to feel how it was good inside Murdoc. He wrapped one arm around him and the other he looked for his free hand to hold against the tree interlacing fingers with him.

He moaned into his ear "Muds...... Love.... I'm close...." he shivered feeling his orgasm coming, it happened so fast his body didn't follow properly. He felt in heaven.... He could feel the wet bodies slamming one against the other, Murdoc under the moonlight.... Everything was perfect. He only with he didn't have to get Murdoc with that shirt so he could hear his lovely sounds.... But later at home they would have time for that. "I......I love you...." he choked a moan.

Murdoc could felt Stuart hold him closer, he loved the closeness, all the touches were so overwhelming for him. Then he interlaced his fingers and he whimpered, knowing he was close. When Stuart whispered in his ear and felt him stiffen slightly as he came, that's when he came as well.

He let out a choked moan that was muffled into the shirt. He bit into it hard. It was covered in drool too he realized. His orgasm hit him in strong waves as he shot his load all over the ground, his cock untouched.

When they were done, Murdoc grabbed the shirt from his mouth and put both hands against the tree, his knees feeling like they were going to give out. He whispered out, without even realizing, "Eres mi sol y mis estrellas: eres mi todo."

Stuart in another situation would have blushed and turned on at the same time with his Spanish.... But his time he could only smile and hold him close noticing Murdoc was about to fall. He understood want he said and his heart raced feeling loved.

He pulled himself out Murdoc carefully and turned himself to the other side so he could rest his back against the tree. He pulled this swim trunks back and kissed him "Are you okay my love....? Fuck that was really good...... The best lagoon I’ve ever been to." He asked softly with his face still red and panting.

He pulled his own back to place as well. He grabbed his shirt from his hand noticing it was totally drooled "How will I wear this in the restaurant love....?" He teased playfully. He knew he would do it in the end.... Maybe they would have to ask to go the food.

Murdoc rested up against the tree, trying to catch his breath, wiping the drool from his chin. "Y-yeah.... I'm good...." he blushed and put his hand over his eyes, wondering how embarrassing he just sounded, hoping to Satan no one heard him.

He stood up slowly, a little wobbly. He laughed at Stuart quietly. "That was really fun.... Thanks...." he smiled wide at him. He hoped they didn't miss the boat back. As they walked back to where the boat was he felt relieved that everyone was being sort of loud and having a good time. They would be able to just slide right into the water, unnoticed.

Stuart went back with him. His plan had worked. He sighed in relief. He thought it was really risky so he thought Murdoc could be proud of what he had done. He entered back into the water as nothing had happened and would bring his bag back when they needed to use the boat back.

He looked at Murdoc "less nervous now, babe....? May we have dinner or....?" he teased from inside the water playing like a child. He was satisfied with his little misbehavior. He was glad no one found them. "Did your...... Kink of fucking in public was.... Satisfied?" he chuckled lowly opening his arms to Murdoc enter the water together with him again.


	55. Post

Murdoc chuckled and got into the water with him, wrapping his arms around him and resting his head on Stuart's shoulder. "Yeah.... It definitely did Bluebird. Thank you. I'm just a little shaken now, give me a moment, yeah?" His arms and legs felt a little like noodles for a moment from the sudden exertion. He nuzzled into Stuart and held him tight.

After a few moments, he kissed Stuart's neck again. "I love you so much Bluebird. Thank you." He whispered, a wide smile on his face. That quick, dirty fuck was exactly what he wanted, he was in heaven. "We can do dinner and then it's your turn." He whispered into his ear, licking it then biting the lobe.

Stuart chuckled holding him. He went from a lascivious "Fuck me right now" to an adorable and sweet sap. He loved this detail in Murdoc. Started walking with him again giving him his really needed moment. He thought that he was responsible of taking care of Murdoc after sex.... He looked adorable all jelly and soft.

Stuart shivered when he said it was his turn. "Yes Daddy.... I'm missing you..." he whispered against his ear.  He was teasing but he really missed Murdoc fucking him and making him his. His dominant self was such a tease. "Let's have fun tonight right?" he smiled. "I'm all yours...." he said playfully rubbing his back gently "I love you so much.... You're the perfect husband...." he giggled. That was the perfect night too... He liked to be a delinquent. But only with Murdoc.

"Is it a romantic dinner, Muds....? Cuz my shirt is all drooled cuz of someone.... Really desperate that wanted a quick fuck...." he joked. "He was so needy ...... I couldn't say no to him...." he kissed his neck feeling playful after his amazing orgasm. He was in a great mood.

Murdoc melted at the word "daddy". He buried his face into Stuart's neck. "Ah, Christ Stuart. Don't get me hard again." He laughed. He really did appreciate how good Stuart was with him. He knew exactly how to get Murdoc going. He hugged him tight.

"Well.... It'll be romantic anyways because I'm a pretty romantic guy wouldn't you say?" He chuckled. "And he's only needy to get fucked by this beautiful tall guy who turns him on so much he can't contain himself." He smiled at him and kissed him deeply. "I love you Stuart...." he whispered.

Stuart chuckled "Okay, okay don't need to whine......" he teased "I love you more...." he whispered "Just please make me yours tonight and it will be officially the best night of this trip......" he begged kissing his cheek. "The beautiful tall guy needs to be dominated too sometimes...." he really wanted to beg and feel Murdoc making him feel good the way only he knew. "Please? I promise I’ll be good...." he smiled.

Murdoc gave a low seductive growl, pulling just far enough away that their lips just barely touched. "Oh, I’ll make you feel good love...." he brought his hand up and ran it through Stuart's hair, grabbing it gently and pulling his head back so he could bite his neck.

"How bad do you want to be mine?" He whispered. "I can't wait to take you home and make you moan like the little cockslut you are." He growled again.

"Everyone back in the boat!" The announcer yelled. "We have a wonderful dinner and wine selection back at the shack!" Murdoc smiled wide and caressed Stuart's cheek.

"Want a little wine? You said you needed to be a little drunk yeah? I think it's your turn." He chuckled and kissed him before heading back to the boat.

Stuart was about to answer and tease him a bit more when the announcer came again. Actually it was something good... He wouldn't have to deal with another hard on.

He smiled to Murdoc’s suggestion "wine sounds amazing...." he purred. He really need to be drunk to use the camera.... But he didn't mind at all. He grabbed Murdoc’s bag again going to the boat. Before he got up back he whispered into his year "I'm aching to have you inside me again, Daddy...." and bit his neck right under his ear and smiled getting on the boat again.

Murdoc blushed and had to wait a moment before getting onto the boat after Stuart whispered in his ear. Stuart's dirty talk was driving him wild. He hated himself for planning dinner here, he wanted to go home and make the kid squeal.

When he got onto the boat, his legs almost gave out on him again still a little shaky from the quick fuck. He saw people looking at him, probably wondering what his problem was. He laughed and stood tall. He just was fucked, he felt amazing. He sat by Stuart, a huge grin on his face, grabbing their towels and drying off, while handing Stuart his towel. They road the boat back, Murdoc leaning against Stuart happily the entire way back. He put the rest of his clothes back on as they arrived at the restaurant.

He walked in with him and they sat down at a little table at the edge of the deck by the railing close to the water. It was still beautifully glowing but they also had a small lamp at their table, giving them a small, romantic glow. He looked at Stu. "Not bad, yeah?" He smirked.

Stuart chuckled seeing how he was wobbly but didn't make any comment. He knew it was cuz of sex.... He felt even more proud of himself. He put his clothes back trying to wipe the drool with his towel. He leaned against Murdoc all the way back.

He followed him to the restaurant. It was a lovely place really quiet and romantic. Even wanting to be fucked a lot he was happy Murdoc brought them there. He could wait for shagging. Besides he needed to drink. And he wanted the night to be perfect for the two of them.

He looked at Murdoc leaning closer him "it's amazing my love.... Thank you again." He whispered grabbing his hand. "Couldn't think of a better place to be with you right now." He said honestly.

Murdoc laughed, "Our bed probably." He teased. The waiter came and asked them if they wanted any drinks to start off with. Murdoc ordered their most expensive wine and got them some type of lobster appetizer. He looked at Stuart and reached for his hand across the table to hold. He gently stroked it with his thumb and smiled fondly at him.

"So.... Why do you need wine to do a video?" He asked. He was wondering just how nervous Stuart was about it. "Not that I wouldn't mind having my little Bluebird a little drunk." He chuckled.

The waiter brought a beautiful bottle of red wine to the table, taking the cork out and pouring Stuart a glass of wine. Murdoc shook his head when the waiter offered him some. He was going to stay sober for Stuart.

Stuart blushed. It wasn't his bed or the singer's bed anymore. It was "our" bed. It was a stupid detail but he loved it.... It sounded like they were really a couple. A married couple. He bit his lip and giggles adorably. "Our? How about we have our bedroom too Muds? With a big bed for us....?" He asked about Kong.

He blushed as the lobster color.... It was the most expensive one and he never had lobster in his life. It was like duck but even fancier. He felt a little undressed for the occasion and nervous.

"Not that I need Muds.... But.... I think I'd be a lot less shy with it.... And with your dirty talk too...." he chuckled. He wasn't sure if he would be able to watch it afterwards sober.... He would die from embarrassment....

 "we could after evaluate out performance together so we can improve right?" He said scientifically chuckling. He was really provocative but the camera made him shy for some reason. He was used to sing to millions of people.... But Murdoc and him into a bedroom alone made him nervous. It was as he needed his approbation.... That's why he wanted to be bottom...... He didn't think he topping was something good to watch.

Stuart noticed he was gonna be sober. He thought he needed to drink till feel a buzz and not be drunk...or he would ruin everything "wow Muds.... I thought you'd drink too.... You're not shy for the cameras are you?" He teased squeezing his hand and taking a sip of the wine. It tasted normal.... Nothing really fancy.

Murdoc blushed at his bed comment, he hadn't even realized he had said 'our'. "Well.... It is our bed.... We share it. You.... Want to move into a single room together at Kong? Really?" He chuckled. "I mean.... We can but I'm not the best room mate as I'm sure you figured out. I'm messy for one thing." Not that the kid was any better but he wanted him to be sure.

Murdoc snorted at his drinking comments, "I know I don't need to improve on anything and I'm definitely not afraid of the camera." He winked and smiled slyly. He wouldn't mention this wouldn't be his first sex tape although, now that he thought about it, he didn't have any of him as a bottom.... Usually his sex tapes were always his idea. Stuart didn't need to know any of that though.

Murdoc squeezed his hand. "I love seeing you dirty. I don't want to be drunk for that. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't regret a video later after you sobered up." He said. He waited as the waiter brought their appetizer and Stuart started eating. He grabbed the bottle of wine and gave Stuart a little more.

"Besides. One of us had to make sure we get home safe and can work the camera." He chuckled, taking a bite of his food. "I'm actually surprised you get nervous in front of the camera. Have you never had a sex video before? Paula never asked? None of those other birds you slept with before? Plus, you're usually in front of a bloody camera all day when filming anyways." He said.

"I'd like to...... I dunno.... I mean.... You have your Winnie...." he said lowly taking another sip of his wine. "But I'd like to share a room with you...." he said the truth.... And he knew it wasn't necessary but it would be like another step in their relationships for the singer. "I'm not a good roommate too but.... As we will be married what's the point in separate rooms? If we live together already" He was already thinking about them putting stuff in place in a room that were theirs. Painting the wall and decorating.... He bit his lip. He was a bit too old fashioned.

"I won't regret, love.... I'm sure I want to do that...." he squeezed his hand again. He started eating as well when the food came. "Well...." he looked down "In not ready to see me doing another thing in front of the camera that's not singing or answering questions" he chuckled "I never had. . It's my first time and I'm nervous okay?" He said playing with his hand anxious "Not Paula not other bird.... Didn't ask or I didn't give the idea.... I thought...." he sighed " if I broke up with them, made them mad or if I they wanted to blackmail me... Paula included... They would put the tape on the internet or.... Show other people to embarrass me.... As I'm not that good in bed compared to others...." he blushed.

"You're the first one I trust to do something like that cuz.... You won't mock me.... Or you won't share with your friends...  It would be something for just two of us.... I mean you like me right?" He decided to be honest.

"Muds.... Paula never told me I was amazing in bed or.... That I was even good.... She usually didn't even cuddle with me afterwards.... Sometimes I made her cum and I didn't even could cum cuz she wouldn't be bothered to that cuz she was already satisfied... So .... How could I suggest a sex tape? She would laugh at me or compare me to her exes.... And the other birds I wasn’t intimate enough to ask something like that.... They would use it to brag they slept with 2D from Gorillaz or something." he kept looking down. He didn't know anymore why he was with Paula. He thought love was like that.  And he wanted to make Murdoc jealous maybe. Well everyone knows how the story ended.

"You already did it, right....? That's why you're not embarrassed I can tell...." he chuckled but it wasn't funny. He thought another partner's or quick shags could have already suggested that.

Murdoc listened to him talk, nodding a little. "Alright, alright, I’ll stop teasing you. I know you're nervous love...." he gripped his hand gently to reassure him. That's also a good point you made that I hadn't thought of. I suppose someone could try to blackmail you with it. And I told you Paula was absolutely rubbish...." he growled as he looked out at the water.

"But, my little Bluebird," he said, turning back towards him, "you are wonderful in bed, almost as good as I am." He winked and smiled. "And you're right. I wouldn't show it to anyone, unless you wanted me to, and even then.... You're mine. No one else gets to see any of those delicious things I do...." he purred and got closer so his voice was barely above a whisper. "Like when I like your belly button, you let out this cute little giggle. Or when I hit your prostate you let out this sweet little moan that's just pure music to my ears. Or how your voices changes when you top." He gave a lowly seductive growl. "I love all those little things plus more about you."

He leaned back a bit, using a more normal tone. "Besides, I don't think our sexual preferences should be a weakness. Look at me and all the crazy shit I'm into Stu. It would be way easier to try to embarrass me than it would be you, but.... I don't care if people know my kinks." He said, sounding a little proud.

"And well.... Yeah, I’ve shot a tape before. With women. As far as I'm aware, I haven't shot one with any of the few blokes I’ve been with so this will be new. Plus I haven't ever had a video taken of me being the bottom so...." be shrugged and brought his hand up to rest his head on and watch Stuart with a fond gaze. "First time for everything, yeah?"

Stuart heard the details Murdoc mentioned "Y-you said you'd stop teasing me...." He said dramatically and pouted folding his arms. He folded his legs too. He was embarrassed but turned on again. Thank God, they had a table between them. He blushed profusely. He didn't know the Satanist paid so much attention to him. He felt flattered. His voice changed when he dominate? That was new. He didn't even noticed.

"Yeah.... With you I discovered my own kinks too...." he smiled " but only cuz I trusted you...... If I didn't love you this would be totally meaningless.". He relaxed a bit.

"Oh no blokes?" He smiled showing his gap "Oh I'm glad I’ll be the first.... And.... You really wanna bottom to me to this tape....?" He whispered taking a big sip of wine. He was twice as nervous to top Murdoc. "So I guess it's a first time for all of us...." He giggled "with those women Muds.... Did you delete he video? Is it with you....?" He was jealous but curious "it was more than one woman.... Involved BDSM? Cuz I definitely want to have a BDSM of us...." the alcohol was having effect on him already

. "You punishing me or me punishing you.... Would be nice huh? You put me into your crazy shit I guess...." He laughed "and the worst part was that I loved ...." He licked his lips.

Murdoc chuckled at his fake pouting. "I’ll stop teasing you when I'm dead. Maybe I’ll even continue then my sweet bird." He winked. "I can't help but notice all those little details about you and how all of it belongs to me." He growled.

Murdoc shook his head and brought his hand up to caress his cheek. "Oh no Stu, I top this first time." He smiled wickedly. "You're mine tonight and I get to film it.... You'll be my beautiful little actor tonight. Then you can top and video another time, yeah?" He stroked his cheek.

"You know.... I may still have those videos somewhere in my Winnie. I never had a reason to get rid of them till now.... No BDSM. Hardly any birds I picked up for one night were interested in that...." he looked at Stuart, noticing how buzzed he was getting. He was getting excited.

"Next time we'll video you punishing me. Do just like you did last time and I would be your sex slave for life my love." He winked. "I would literally do anything for you...." he whispered, looking into his eyes. "You're the best Dom I ever had...." he shivered and stuck his tongue out.

Stuart blushed again.... The term actor made him even more nervous. He didn't notice but he finished his glass of wine already. He nodded agreeing with Murdoc. He would do it for him.... He missed his bossy self.

"Thank god you kept the tape Muds.... Who know where it would be if it stood with those birds huh?" He chuckled. Murdoc wasn't that dumb. He would keep it to not fall in wrong hands.

He recrossed his legs again. His idea was making difficult to get rid of his hard on. He shivered hearing his words 'best Dom' he repeated to himself. 'Sex slave' all those terms were totally new for him. He grabbed his hand and squeezed it looking into his eyes. For the singer was all a matter of trust. And Murdoc trusted him to be vulnerable, this made his heart race.

"You're the first lad I could top......" he smiled "You made me discover I could do it.... And I hope I can always make you satisfied, Muds, thank you. I-I’ll do my best next time...." he looked at him fondly. " But tonight this Dom wants to be daddy's whore......" he chuckled with his face red from alcohol and embarrassment. His tongue slippery from wine. But he meant that. He wanted to be dominated this night. "Y-you can punish me if you want...."

Murdoc noticed he finished his wine, he casually poured him another glass. He lifted a brow. "You think I gave a shit if those videos leaked? There was nothing overly dirty on them, just me fucking some chicks. It was a hell of a lot more boring than what I do with you Bluebird." He gave another wicked smile.

He purred and bit his lip at his comments. "You wanna be Daddy's whore huh?" He loved the idea of punishing Stuart. He hadn't really done a ton of punishment for Stuart. Nothing incredibly serious. He was overly excited and didn't want to wait.

He could see the singer fidgeting. He knew he was hard and it turned Murdoc on even more. He slipped his foot out of his flip-flop and brought his foot to his leg. He slid his foot up Stuart's leg towards his crotch slowly. "Open your legs." He commanded in a whisper.

Stuart noticed him pouring another glass.... Murdoc really wanted him drunk. He rose his arms in surrender. Of course Murdoc wouldn't mind a video leaking. He would be pleased to show how amazing he was with other birds. He was happy that it was boring compared to what they did. He felt proud.

Stuart nodded to his question. He wasn't ready to be punished it was alcohol speaking But too late for that now. He was craving for dominating Murdoc again. In anyway he wanted.

He looked down embarrassed and shyly opened his legs allowing Murdoc to do what he wanted. He blushed hard and took another sip of his wine silently. His cock was already painfully hard and he couldn't hide it.

Murdoc smirked at him listening. "Good boy...." he whispered and ran his foot up and he gently pushed on his bulge in his pants, smiling the entire time. He was ready to go, he didn't want to wait. They had ate enough right?

"Shall we go, my little whore?" He whispered, wondering if Stuart was going to be able to walk. He grinned evilly. He was an evil Dom when he had the chance. He played the part well.

Stuart hid his face with his hand and moaned lowly. "W-we can go, Muds...." he whispered. "Can you please lend me your bag...?. There's something here I need to hide...." he looked at his glass and downed it all at once smiling. "God I want you to fuck me right now so bad...." he whispered and sighed. He was loving how Murdoc was mean. He was totally up to obey him and be his pet.

Murdoc laughed, "Good. Let’s go." He could have been mean and had Stuart walk with his hard on but he would torture him enough later. He handed him his bag and grabbed the bottle of wine. There was still half a bottle. He left more than enough money to pay for what they had.

He stood up and wrapped his hand around Stuart's waist, keeping him close as they walked out, wine bottle in hand and the biggest grin on his face. He was about to fuck and film the most beautiful man ever, he was down right giddy.

He guided him to a taxi he called. They started to head home. He kept his hand on the singer’s thigh, rubbing up and down the entire time. He was grinning evilly the entire time.

When they got home he got him in the house and went full Dom mode. He turned to Stuart. "Clothes off. Now. Sit on the couch when you're done and wait for me. No touching yourself."  He walked into their room and grabbed some of the toys they brought, specifically the candles, the lube, the collar and a dildo. He bit his lip, trying to contain himself.

Stuart was having a real hard time trying to hold himself to gather. He was silent all the way back home noticing how Murdoc smile deviously. He could feel his desire and smell it from far. He swallowed hard in expectation. He was dizzy cuz of alcohol and really turned on. Tonight he would be the pet and he was excited about it.

Once they were home he just nodded and took his clothes off quick. He sat down obediently and waited for Murdoc. He was painfully hard and biting his lip with his face red and breathing hard in expectation.

Murdoc came out with the items, including Stuart's camera that was turned on and filming, as he was smiling wide. He was completely naked and sporting a hard on already. "Alright, my little whore. Let me introduce us love." He walked over and cupped his chin gently, the camera watching Stuart. "This beautiful creature here is Stuart Pot, soon to be Stuart Niccals. As you can see, he's my little whore and only mine." He growled. He moved the camera up and down Stuart to get a good look of him.

His hand cupping jaw came up and he moved his thumb into his mouth, gently prying it open. "Who's my good little pet?" He asked seductively. "Good little pets put on a collar." He gave him the collar to put on.

Stuart blushed even more but tried to act normal towards the camera smiling and allowing Murdoc to film him. His smile was goofy. He didn't say a word to introduce himself allowing Murdoc to do the job.

He mumbled a "me..." when he was asked and put the collar on after some struggle as he was drunk. He put it tight enough not to hurt. He smiled to Murdoc and the camera his cock already oozing precum but he didn't touch himself.

Murdoc caressed his face gently, looking at him through the camera, working hard not to jump him right now. "My pretty little pet. My pretty little Bluebird...." he ran his hand down to the collar, running his finger over it gently. "You look gorgeous with that collar." He whispered.

Suddenly he hooked a finger in the front loop and yanked him forward till Murdoc cock was hip against his cheek. He was still pointing the camera at him. "Why don't you show the camera how much of a cockslut you are for me? Show me how good of a pet you actually are yeah?" He chuckled.

Stuart was blushing like crazy at this point. He warned and he needed Murdoc.... But he would be a good pet and just kept smiling while shivers went up and down his spine.

He was took off his thoughts with that sudden pull. He noticed his cock against his cheek and smiled even more. He started a sloppy blowjob not caring if Murdoc was filming or not. He would do a good work despite the camera. He was a good pet right? He engulfed him, used his hands to help and licked from the bottom to top looking at the camera slyly. He stroked him with a smile mouthing "I love you" to Murdoc and after going back to suck him hungrily.

He decided after some moments to deep throat him and he almost choked with his cock. His movements were uncoordinated cuz of alcohol. He took him outta his mouth and proudly showed his work to the camera, drool dripping from his chin and a trail of saliva between his cock and mouth.

Murdoc let out little groans as the singer’s took him in his mouth. The hot and wet mouth was the greatest feeling for his hard cock. Then seeing the trail of drool and saliva from his mouth drive him wild. He brought his hand up to stroke his cheek again.

"What a good pet. Your mouth feel amazing my little whore.... Now hold still while I fuck your mouth pretty boy." He purred. He used this thumb to pry open Stuart's mouth, sticking his cock back inside slowly. He grabbed a handful of hair, gripping hard. He didn't move though, not yet.

"Grip my thigh love. If you let go, then that means you want me to stop, understand?" When he thought he gave the okay, he started using his grip to keep Stuart still while he moved his cock in and out slowly, and then picking up the pace. He didn't go to the back of his throat, not yet.

The singer nodded and grabbed his thigh for his life. Actually he needed it for support. He was dizzy from alcohol but happy to let Murdoc fuck his mouth. He opened his mouth the best he could sticking his tongue out so nothing would be on the way and Murdoc could fuck it properly. He closed his eyes.

He moaned lowly and choked desperate to be touched or fucked. His cock twitched. He was aching for Murdoc. His other hand held his other thigh and he squeezed it to show He was liking to be used. He wouldn't let him go. He wanted to. He needed it.... Anything to please Murdoc.

Murdoc growled animalistically, feeling him squeeze his thigh. He started to fuck his mouth a little harder, shoving her cock down his throat. He loved to hear his choked little moans, it turned him on and it took everything in his power not to cum.

When he felt he couldn't take anymore, he pulled Stuart away from him, still by his hair. He zoomed in on his desperate face, covered in saliva and precum. "Beautiful...." he purred and smiled wide. He let go of his hair and nodded towards the couch.

"Lay down on it." He commanded, grabbing the candle and lighting it.

Stuart smiled when he was complimented. He had tears in his eyes due to the hardness Murdoc was fucking his mouth. He loved it. He loved to be his whore.

He went to the couch and laid. He didn't know if he should be on his back up or his belly. He chose to be belly down hoping it was what Murdoc wanted. He heard the lighter noise his heart raced and his cock twitched in expectation. He felt a shiver up and down his spine. And laid down waiting.

Murdoc held the camera up and looked through it at the beautiful man lying on the couch, on his stomach. Perfect. He walked to stand right next to the kid, having put the candle down for a moment on the table in its little stand. He ran his fingertips gently over his pale skin. He was skinny and had zero muscle, making it looked so delicate. He wanted to mark it all like he had before.

He ran his fingertips down his spine till he got to his ass. Then he ran his hand over one of his cheeks, the skin still so soft and pale. Even with a tan previously, it was still much lighter against Murdoc’s skin. He smiled evilly.

Without warning he lifted his hand and brought it down hard against Stuarts ass. He watched and recorded as the handprint slowly appeared on his ass.

Stuart yelped with his slap and squirmed moaning. It made him rub his hard cock against the mattress and that was more painful than the slap. He hid his face and bit his lip, desperate for attention but not touching himself yet. He knew he was filming his reactions. His hands bailed into fists.

Murdoc watched him squirm and smiled delightfully. "Well I can't just leave you with one side like that." He whispered and slapped the other cheek equally as hard. He watched as it got it's red hand print. Watching the kid squirm was delightful.

Then he grabbed the candle and held it over Stuart's shoulder blade. "Alright love, you're gonna feel a slight burning from the wax, stay still." He demanded. "You know the safe words."

He held it over him as the red wax started dripping onto his pale skin. Murdoc thought it looked beautiful as it started gathering in certain spots. He bit his lip, getting excited.

Stuart squirmed again when he hit the other side. It was painful but he liked it a lot.

Even before he could decompose himself from the smack he mentioned the candle. He swallowed hard and prepared himself for the pain.

He nodded to his order and bit his lip even harder not to shout. The pain from the candle came together with tears in his eyes. It didn't hurt much but his neglected erection was even more painful.

He hid his face and stood still where he was trying to focus on the pain from wax. He shivered with each drip of it. He wanted to be fucked but as Murdoc was having fun with him He just allowed silently. His hands gripped the sheets.

Murdoc was in absolute bliss, watching him squirm. He knew the singer was wanting to get touched, but waiting was part of the fun, plus he was getting such nice footage.

After he had quite a bit of wax over a good part of Stuart's back, ass and thighs, he blew the candle out and set it down. He ran his hand over the sensitive skin. "How you doing love?" He asked gently.

He grabbed the dildo, which was smaller than Murdoc, and he lubed it up. He smiled at Stuart. "Turned onto your back and start fingering yourself to open that pretty little ass of yours. No touching your cock still." He grinned evilly.

Stuart whispered "I'm okay...." trying to keep himself together. He really needed to be touched right now and the pain on his back was pleasurable but he needed attention.

He turned around feeling dizzy from pain and alcohol and blushed hard. He wiped his tears quickly. He closed his eyes and with a trembling hand started shyly fingering himself spreading his legs. He moaned and whined from pleasure but he wanted more.... "Muds.... Please..." he whispered. He didn't want to use the colors... But it was hurting and he wanted to be pleased not hurt. When he turned around his back ached from the wax burning and he arched it with a grimace.

Soon he fingered himself with 2 fingers to be quicker. His other hand gripped the sheets or he would touch himself. He started moaning louder cuz he had found his prostate with his long fingers. He wanted Murdoc to do that for him.... But all he could do was squirm and try to get some comfort alone. He smiled imagining was Murdoc fingering him. His cock twitched and he wanted a kiss so bad .... "Fuck...." he cursed whining. "Please.... I need you...... So bad......" that dildo would be nice, but not enough. "I love you...." he whispered looking into his eyes.

Murdoc smirked and leaned over Stuart after setting the camera down where it got full view of them. He kissed him deeply and started helping finger Stuart. He knew the kid was in pain, but he wanted him to keep edging him. The ending was so worth it. If he was in too much pain, he knew the color codes and Murdoc would help him out.

When he felt he was stretched enough, he grabbed the dildo and slid it into Stuart and started fucking him with it. He kept kissing him and his other hand started playing with his nipples. He brought his mouth down and started sucking on the other nipple, biting and playing with it.

After he felt Stuart was nice and stretched, he pulled the dildo out and set it aside. He grabbed the camera again and got between Stuart's legs, lining himself right against Stuart's hole. "How bad do you want me?" He purred as he looked down at Stuart through the camera.

Stuart felt relieved when he kissed him. He grabbed his face and kissed him back needy moaning against his mouth. He moaned even louder with the dildo but it wasn't enough. He loved his hands on his nipples. He squirmed and shivered wanting to touch his cock.

When He finally came to fuck him He felt relieved...  He didn't care about the camera anymore, his drunk brain just wanted him so bad. "Please...." be whispered and his cock twitched again "Please Mu’doc I want you.... So bad I want your surname" he laughed "please fuck me as my husband.... Please Daddy, ravish me...." he didn't care if his needy words were recorded and slurred... He wanted Murdoc so much, he needed to cum. The waiting was just too painful. "I know you want too.... Fuck me, please...." he whispered against his lips placing the camera aside a moment cupping his face with both hands "I love you." He looked into his eyes.

Murdoc swallowed at his words, turned on even more by all of it. He wanted to fuck Stuart so bad. "I love you too...." he said in a grunted whisper as he slowly pushed himself into Stuart all the way. He kissed him deeply as he started to thrust in and out of him. He started off slow at first, then faster and harder. His hands came down and ran over his body. His skin was so much smoother than his own.

He remembered the camera and pulled himself upright, away from Stuart. He looked down at him with the camera, enjoying the moaning, whimpering mess he was as he slammed into him. He panned the camera down Stuart's ass, angling the singer’s hips up so he had a better view for the camera. "Lovely...." he whispered.

Stuart was glad Murdoc was dealing with the camera. He couldn't think about anything right now. Just how amazing Murdoc felt inside him and how he wanted that. He moaned squirmed and begged for more. He spread his legs obscenely and gripped the sheets tighter. He could feel he was close to cumming after so much teasing. And he wouldn't be touched for that.

"Oh fuck Mur'doc...... Harder please!" He moaned loudly and panted. The new position was really teasing. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he wanted to touch Murdoc so bad if he wasn't with the camera. This and him cumming inside him. It was all overwhelming

Murdoc didn't think he would last much longer. He kept pounding into Stuart, the camera becoming increasingly difficult to keep steady. He held Stuart's left leg up to his shoulder for an even better view of Murdoc fucking him. He started fucking him harder.

After a few moments he knew he was going to cum. "Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum, take it all." He growled and slammed into him a final time before cumming hard. "Cum Stuart. Now." He demanded. He worked to keep his camera on Stuart's face as he came.

Stuart closed his eyes and let Murdoc do what he wanted with him. His mind wandered around thinking about the dinner the glowing water.... All happy moments they shared that night. He was smiling dumbly and drooling.

When he heard Murdoc was about to cum he couldn't hold back anymore. He came deep into Murdoc and it made his sweet spot shout. He came as he ordered hard and good moaning and groaning his name. His back arched and his face was delightful to see. He closed his eyes shut so he didn't know Murdoc was still filming or not. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes after the orgasm hit him hard.

Murdoc groaned as he felt and saw Stuart cum. He kept the camera angled on his face and came down to view his twitching cock as it came, cum was everywhere. He loved it all. This was the dirty sex tape he always wanted.

He wiped some of Stuart's cum off his stomach with his fingers and shoved them into Stuart's mouth. "Suck on them, my dirty little whore. See how good you taste...." he purred. He kept the camera focusing on Stuart's face. "You're so fucking gorgeous...."

Stuart didn't reasoned what was happening he just sucked the fingers shoved into his mouth instinctively. He sucked and tasted.... It was actually good. Better when it was mixed with Murdoc’s.

Stuart smiled to the camera for a moment and then he grabbed Murdoc by his face kissing him deep. He wanted Murdoc to taste him too. He shoved his tongue into his mouth and shivered feeling Murdoc still inside him. "Oh fuck..."

Murdoc chuckled as he pulled him into a kiss and played with Stuart's tongue, tasting everything. Stuart was delicious to him, everything about him. He ran a hand up through Stuart's hair as they kissed passionately.

When he needed to breathe, he pulled away and smiled, running the camera view from Stuart's dazed face down his body to where Murdoc and him were connected. He bit his lip and slowly pulled out of Stuart, keeping the camera there. He made sure Stuart's hips stayed angled up.

"There's the money shot." He chuckled as he watched cum drip from Stuart and recorded it. "You're so beautiful Stuart.... So dirty.... You'll do great as a Niccals." He teased and turned off the camera, releasing Stuart's hips to relax and he laid down onto of Stuart, he didn't care about the cum. He kissed him again, more gently this time.

"So love.... Shall we get a bath going?" He whispered and looked at Stuart fondly. He brushed some of his blue hair back behind his ear.

Stuart was dizzy and dazed with pleasure. He didn't know what Murdoc was so interested recording but he let him do it giggling. He felt a bit empty when Murdoc pulled out him.... He let out a low moan when he was done. He looked at Murdoc passionately. He blushed and stopped laughing when He mentioned he would do good as a Niccals. "Next time is yoooour turn Mr. Niccals...." he hiccupped and giggled again.

Once he turned the camera off and came over him the singer smiled to Murdoc holding him and kissing his forehead "anything you please, my love.... After a fucking amazing sex.... You can ask for anything...." he booped his nose. "But I must tell you that I'm not really able to walk right now.... So you'd have to help me go to the bathroom...."

Murdoc loved how love dazed the singer looked, only amplified by him being drunk. "Anything for you, darling." He purred, giving him one final kiss before getting back up and putting his arms under Stuart's legs and behind his upper back. He picked him up bridal style and walked with him to the bathroom. He tried to make sure not to stumble or bash Stuart's head or gangly legs into the walls, but he did hit his own knee on the corner of the coffee table. A string of curses followed and he finally got him into the bathroom.

He lowered him to his feet real quick and grabbed a wash cloth, having Stuart turn his back to him. "Let me get this wax off you before we get in, yeah?" He admired the red wax panting his white skin before he rubbed it off. It came off easy and he was left with a bunch of light red marks where the wax had been. He noticed the hand prints were still slightly visible on his ass as well. He smirked.

When he cleaned him all up, he turned on the bath water and helped the drunk kid get in. He looked around and found some good smelling bubble bath crap. He didn't bother reading the instructions, instead just pouring it in till he was satisfied and bubbled began forming and a scent of lavender came up. He winked at Stuart and got in behind him so Stu could lean back against him.

Stuart chuckled when he hit his knee. He thought the clumsy one was him. He allowed Murdoc take care of him the way he wanted. He should be all red for sure. He shivered feeling the light burning sensation still there.

Stuart find amazing how it was smelling good....  " Oh Muds you chose just right!" He said nuzzling his face on his shoulder still drunk "my Muds.... My husband......" he whispered and leaned against him "you know I love you don't you....? I'd do anything for you.... Was I a good pet?" He looked at him curious.

"Oh.... Speaking of which...." he took the collar off Stuart's neck before he forgot, tossing it onto the nearby sink. He kissed his head and wrapped his hands around him, pulling him close.

"Yes, love, you were perfect. You're so fucking beautiful...." he whispered and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. "I love you so much, you don't even know." He chuckled and yawned. "Did you have a good day today? Was it everything you had hoped for?" He asked.

Stuart giggled. He was proud for his first sex tape being complimented by a sex god. He thought he had actually did a good work. "Amazing day, Love.... It was so perfect...... Thought I was living in a dream.... Those birds and the lagoon... " he slurred happily. "And now this amazing sex...... Muds.... You're the best... " he sighed happily. "Was it a good day for you, my love......?" He played around with the water for a bit still feeling himself sore cuz of sex.

Murdoc smiled, happy to hear Stuart had such a good day. He had wanted to give him a trip to remember. That's what truly mattered for him. He grabbed his hand and brought it up to kiss.

"You are the love of my life. Any day with you is amazing." He purred. He was feeling so good, he felt like being a little romantic. "You're going to be my husband soon, but you will always be the love and light of my life and I don't need a judge to sign a slip of paper making that official." He whispered, kissing the back of his neck.

Stuart blushed and turned around to see him. His mind was foggy but he totally understood what Murdoc meant. "Oh.... Muds...." he said lowly looking at him. "You saying those words.... Make This blue wolf's heart melt...." he smiled fondly caressing his face "I'm already yours since the first time I knew I was in love with you...... I was just lying to myself I didn't belong to you...." he giggled "Becoming Stuart Niccals just makes me happier.... I just want to have your love and care for life.... Married  or not.... I need it...." he bit his lip "I need you...." he hugged him, needy. He straddled the Satanist and hid his face on the crook of his neck.

Murdoc chuckled and wrapped his arms around him again as he sat on his lap. He pulled him into a tight hug and laid his head on Stuart's shoulder as his head was in his cook in his neck. "I need you too.... More than I describe little blue wolf...." he teased and kissed his neck. "You're more than I deserve and more than I ever thought I could get.... I’ll try to give you everything you need and want and so much more. I promise." He whispered.

"I believe you...." he whispered back. He loved the blue wolf but he wouldn't say that now and ruin the moment. For the singer he wasn't a wolf. He was more like a scared cat.

He felt the Satanist's steady breathing and his heartbeat inside the empty bathroom. He felt relaxed and loved. He leaned closer and kissed him gently. He thanked Murdoc for all he did that day into that kiss. Even had done a dirty sex tape, they were a couple.... A real one. And they were being really romantic with each other.

He was curious about the result of the video but suddenly he remembered the photos...... "Muds...." he whispered "want to see the comments of our photos we posted with me before going to sleep baby....?" He put a strand of his hair behind his ear "I need to sober up to see the result of our video.... You think it was good? I mean, it was all you wanted of a video......?" He asked looking into his eyes passionately.

Murdoc completely forgot about the photos. He froze for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, let’s take a look after the bath shall we?" He smiled and looked back at him. He was nervous Stuart would be upset over some comments, but he'd be here for him.

Murdoc smiled slyly at the mention of the video. "I can't wait to see it with you, you are so damn beautiful when you cum...." he purred, his hand coming up to caress his face gently. "That video was the best I ever made....  It was absolutely everything I could have ever asked for. You're the perfect little actor, you know that?" He chuckled and kissed him softly.

Stuart blushed with his compliments.... "Oh stop it.... I'm just a good bottom...you're the sex god here...." he said playfully "I'm glad I could made the best of your life with you....  I just hope when it's your time bottoming I could do the same good job.... Maybe I would have to be sober and you drunk...." he laughed thinking about the possibilities for another video.

He shifted positions with Murdoc and started massaging his back. He really wanted to thank him. His back was really hurting but he didn't mind giving Murdoc attention. "What are the plans for tomorrow honey....?" He asked happily grabbing the shampoo to wash his hair. He was excited to see the comments. Maybe it was his drunk self. His normal self would be really nervous.

Murdoc purred when he massaged his back. He closed his eyes and bit his lip, smiling wide. "That's for me to know and you to find out my love." He teased. He loved the feeling of Stuart's fingers massaging his scalp.

"What would you rather do, my little blue wolf? Any ideas love?" He asked, curious if Stuart was wanting to do anything specific. This day was the greatest day he'd had.... Ever. He never wanted it to end, but he was also excited to start a new one and make it even better.

He blushed again. "Y'know what? I really liked this new nickname you gave me...." he confessed honestly. The singer thought for a moment massaging his shoulders and back. "Well my love.... We have some waterfalls here.... That museum of Bob Marley I saw.... There are places for shopping, other beaches.... Parties, pubs...." he started talking nonstop about what he saw in that informative paper of before.

"But I wouldn’t mind if we stood in and walk along the beach and cook something together.... I really like collecting shells...." he chuckled "anything you want to do I'm up to Muds.... It's our.... Pre honeymoon I guess..." he joked massaging his neck and kissing it

Murdoc turned to look at him. "You know what, love? That sounds wonderful for a fourth day, yeah? Let me take care of you tomorrow and we can recuperate from our busy day...." he chuckled. Walking on the beach and chilling out with him all day sounded like a fantastic day.

"Could we.... Could we maybe make love on the beach tomorrow?" He said a little embarrassed. He didn't make love, he usually shagged, so saying it out loud made it embarrassing.

"Oh sure, love we can do it.... Maybe watch a film.... We could buy masks for scuba diving huh?" He offered. "Bet there are gorgeous fishes as the birds in here...."

He blushed and stopped massaging him for a second.... "You mean.... Slow and meaningful Muds....?" He whispered back "I-I'd love to.... I never.... I never really shagged or made love on the beach...... Not in a public one.... Or a private ..." he chuckled nervously massaging him again. The thought of them slowly fucking on a beach crossed his mind immediately .... The waves crashing the birds singing.... "In the sunset, love....?" He asked about the time he wanted to.

"Oh I like that idea Stu. Watching a movie, curling up together. We didn't really get to do that at Kong.... And I think you mean snorkeling love." He chuckled, leaning back and kissing him gently.

He grinned when he asked if they could do it while the sun was setting. "Of course. Out on the beach, for only the stars to see as I gently make you mine...." he whispered. "I wanna show the heavens how much I love you. How much you mean to me.... Now and for the rest of eternity, yeah?" He smirked. "How does that sound?"

Stuart bowed his head on his shoulder blushing "Holy fuck Mu’doc since when you become bloody Shakespeare?" He laughed and splashed him going to the other side of the bath "Jesus.... You're really, really the most romantic person I’ve ever dated. Y'know what? You should write the next Gorillaz' songs.... Full of romantic lyrics and sorrow.... Sad love songs...." he chuckled. "You are talented to say sweet words much more than I am huh?" He folded his arms childishly

"Just kidding love.... It sounds amazing.... I promise I’ll show the heavens that I belong to one man and one man only... " he smiled softly. "My dear husband" he looked at the water "god my parents will be crazy with me becoming a Niccals...... Their only son" he laughed

Murdoc chuckled, "Well thank you for the vote of confidence my sweet bird. I would be happy to write the next album about our love...." he looked across the bath at Stuart. He grabbed his feet and started massaging them.

"And when I look at you, the words just.... Just come to me, you know? You're my muse. You and your love for me just inspire the hell out of me Stuart. I want to give you the world." He winked at him.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'm sure they'll be enthused." He said sarcastically. "Your dad's gonna try and hit me again. I'm positive. Your dad had a good swing on him for being older...." he pretended to pout and rubbed his jaw where his dad had hit him.

Stuart wanted to kick him in the face for making him blush so hard.... Murdoc was skilful with words too what could he say? He hid his face with both hands. "A muse huh?" He smiled "You don't need to give the world for me Muds.... You are my world. Since I have you .... I don't need nothing else." He said honestly.

Stuart leaned closer and kissed his cheek where he was rubbing his jaw "don't think so.... I wouldn't let him." He winked to Murdoc. He meant that. He wouldn’t allow his father to hit him again. "The Niccals family does from 2 to 3 members...." he joked playing with the bubbles on the water enjoying his massage.

Murdoc gazed at him fondly. "And on behalf of the Niccals family, we welcome you little blue wolf." He chuckled. He knew if his father was alive and found out he was marrying a guy he'd probably kill Murdoc for embarrassing the Niccals name.... Like it wasn't embarrassing and cursed already.

He was lost in his thoughts when he heard 'don't want to marry you.' He looked up startled for a second. "I.... I'm sorry, did you say something love?" He looked a little hurt for a second, a bit of panicked paranoia filling his mind. It was the same he felt earlier that day.

Stuart looked at him smiling. He wondered if he would fit in a family of...... Black wolves. He started playing with the water again. "Oh, no, my love.... I didn't say anything...." he said softly. "Is there anything wrong babe?" He said concerned looking at the expression on his face. He placed a hand on his cheek caressing it.

Murdoc felt a little calmer as he caressed his cheek. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "N-no....  Sorry...." he laughed softly. "Must just be tired. Should we finish up and go look at those comments?" He pulled the singer closer by his feet and put some shampoo in his hair. He kissed him on the nose while he did so. Then he helped wash it out.

He got up and grabbed his hand, "Come, my angel. Let's go see what people are saying." He smiled and helped him up. He started drying Stuart off while he kissed him gently. Then he brought the towel up and dried his hair quickly before taking the towel and drying himself off.

Stuart blushed and giggled still a bit drunk "angel..." he mumbled quietly feeling in heaven.... Like a teenage in love.

He let Murdoc dry himself. He was really with all that attention. He felt special "Muds.... You think people will be supportive with our decision....? I mean fans....?" He asked looking at him while he dried himself. He wobbly walked to the bedroom forgetting the previous strange behavior of Murdoc. When he called him an angel, he forgot everything. He looked for clothes

Murdoc walked out, following Stuart after noticing the drunken stagger. He laughed and dried his hair. "I don't know. I think so.... Maybe.... I guess we'll find out huh? Crank up that computer and let’s find out." He threw the towel back in the bathroom and sat on the bed naked. He didn't care about getting dressed since he loved being naked.

He sat back on the bed, admiring Stuart as he just relaxed. "You're beautiful naked, why don't you stay that way? We don't have to worry about anyone finding us right? Let me enjoy you for a little bit, yeah?" He smiled charmingly at him.

Stuart looked at him grabbing his computer and sitting on the bed with it.... "Just cuz my beautiful husband asked me to...." he poked his nose accepting his offer to be naked. "Thank you Muds...." he was saying such sweet things. The singer wasn't ready.

He purposefully laid with his belly down showing Murdoc all the damage he made on his back, from the ads to his shoulder blades. He started to look for the post but he was dizzy "love would you mind reading for us....? I can't see straight..." he chuckled offering Murdoc the computer. He remained laying down with his ass up.

Murdoc smiled and took the computer after looking at Stuart's wonderful ass. He clicked on Stuart's profile and read what he had posted. He had.... A bunch of notifications.... Murdoc gulped, a little nervous to read, but he started clicking through them.

He started reading the comments out loud. "That's so sweet. I knew it.... I knew their stage kiss wasn't just a stunt. There was too much passion.... Blah blah blah...... They're so cute together...... " he laughed at some of these. "Who is the top? Oh love, most of these think you're the bottom. They aren't wrong. But some do think I'm the bottom...." he squinted as he read further down. "Murdoc’s the bottom because he's...... A dirty.... Nasty.... Pickle." Murdoc frowned and kept reading.

"I love you 2D.... Marry me instead, I’ll treat you better.... Didn't know you two.... Were a couple of fags." Murdoc pursed his lips. "Hmmm rude." He rolled his eyes. He kept scrolling.

"Murdoc’s an abusive ass and 2D deserves better...... 2D's a precious cinnamon roll.... Murdoc’s just using him for a quick fuck.... Congratulations 2D and Murdoc.... I'm so happy for you both......" these weren't as bad as he thought they might be.

Stuart was listening and laughing. "We switch...." he shrugged. He laughed even more at the dirty nasty pickle.... He needed to agree he was dirty and nasty. But the singer loved it.

He rolled his eyes to the next comment. He mocked the voice of "Marry me instead..." he looked to Murdoc over his shoulder "Yeah were a couple of fags...." he shrugged. It was true.

"Cinnamon roll" he laughed and snorted. He turned around "Better than I thought people would say, Muds.... " he sighed in relieve. "I think there are some private messages too......" he tried to scroll through his phone after unlocking it.

 One of the notifications made his eyes wide. "Muds I think you might want to see this . " he showed him the phone and it was a message from Paula.... "Oh God the whore is still alive...." he chuckled and shook his head. "Want to read it Muds...?. She sent not long ago to me......"

Murdoc growled, and pushed the phone away from him. "No.... I don't want to read it. I doubt it's anything good...." he pouted. "How is she not blocked on your social media?" He asked, a little pissed that she would have the balls to try to message 2D. He didn't want to have to deal with her again.... And why was she messaging 2D? He shook his head, he didn't care.... Kind of.

"She.... She isn't trashing me is she? Is she asking for you to take her back? No.... No.... I don't want to know. Never mind." He whispered and looked back at the computer at the other messages. Now he felt sour about each comment that was calling him abusive.... Or an asshole.... Or a bastard. He got even more upset at the people calling Stuart an idiot.... A dumbass. He started to panic slightly as his thoughts wandered back tp Paula. Stuart wouldn't go back to her.... But what if all these comments make him realize he is being an idiot.... A whole life of having to live with Paula and 2D at Kong flashed through his mind as his breathing quickened and he started to shake.

Stuart curled. "Muds I didn't even know she had social media to block her...... She found me and messaged me." Stuart was too sweet and slow to block people.  "I'm sorry I’ll block her now."

He took a quick look at the message. Paula was being a whore.... Saying that she was much happier with another guy.... That she never thought the two guys she shagged would end up together and  a lot of bad comments humiliating 2D saying how he was stupid in his decision to marry an abuser and telling Murdoc would cheat on him just like she did with Murdoc. He felt his heart squeezing and hurting and he decided to lie not to upset Murdoc. He regretted deeply having touched Paula. "She didn’t say anything serious Muds.... Really. And no she doesn't want me back.... She's with another guy. She didn't mention you."

Stuart locked his phone and looked at Murdoc. He was panicking. Something happened for that and he didn't know what.  "Muds...." he put a hand on his. "What's wrong....?" He asked him with a sweet voice. Maybe he read some bad comment that made him upset. He felt bad cuz it was his idea reading the comments.

He noticed Stuart's hand on his and jumped a bit, looking up at him suddenly. He tossed the computer next to him and grabbed Stuart's wrist, pulling him to Murdoc. He hugged him close and tight, putting his face into his neck, taking in his scent and his touch. He could feel himself calming down a little.

Eventually he felt calm enough to loosen up his grip. "S-sorry. I.... Uh.... Panicked a bit." He kept his face in Stuart's neck. "I just imagined you running off to be with her again......" he whispered. He didn't know why he felt so insecure about this issue, 2D was obviously his. "I'm just being an idiot.... Sorry. Thank you for letting me hold you." He said a little embarrassed.

Stuart startled when he was pulled and hugged. He wasn't expecting that. He held him back carefully seeing how he was paranoid. "You don't need to thank me love.... We're together right?" He slowly pulled his face off his neck to look at him. He placed both hands on his cheeks and made he look at him. "Muds.... Paula is past. Done. Over." He guaranteed him "I'm yours now. Only yours. " He smiled " I just thought you'd be interested is seeing her message"

"It's only us both against whole world Muds.... From now on just me and you. Understand that?" He kissed him sweetly. ,"she's blocked. Will never ever talk to me again." He guaranteed hugging him and placing the Satanist against his chest rubbing his back. He didn't believe how Murdoc was scared he would leave him easy like that. Just cuz of a message. But seeing Murdoc scared of losing him was something really pleasurable.

"I love you Mu’doc.... And I don't care about what people think...." He said not totally sure of what he was saying. It was just to comfort Murdoc.

Murdoc looked at Stuart and nodded. "I'm sorry.... I love you too. I just.... I don't know why I'm feeling like this.... I don't know why I worry. I know you love me." He gave him a soft smile and pulled him in for a gentle, but passionate kiss.

He pulled away and he put their foreheads together. "I love you so much...." he turned to look at the computer, "Some of those comments weren't too bad huh? If any of them want them to marry you instead, they'll have to get through me." He growled playfully at Stuart, like an animal. He wanted to change the mood back to something more fun. He wrapped his arms around Stuart and pulled him towards Murdoc, playfully biting his neck.

"You're mine. You're my tall blue wolf and I'm your mate. The alpha black wolf" He laughed, nuzzling into his neck.

Stuart looked at him fondly. "Muds.... It's normal be scared of losing someone.... Really. It shows you really care about me...." he ran his fingers through his hair. Some fear was necessary.... Would keep Murdoc taking care of him.

He laughed at his jokes trying to light the mood a bit. "Only yours.... Better feed me and pet me.... Or I’ll escape...." he joked kissing his forehead. "A couple of wolves, Muds...." he whispered. "No one would be so crazy to try to steal a wolf from another huh?" He kept joking rubbing his back. Anytime Murdoc need any reassurement about them Stuart would be happy to give him. He really liked animals, birds wolves.... It was really romantic.

"Don't worry love.... We'll take care of each other...  Let people be jealous and think what they want.... I'm happy we're starting a family." He whispered into his ear. "No one will ruin this.... Not my parents not Paula not fans...." he promised.

Now he was a bit more worried about his paranoid behavior. Stuart wasn't scared of losing Murdoc or at least didn't show he is cuz for him the normal was Murdoc not liking him. It was difficult for the singer's brain assimilate that Murdoc really liked him not only cuz he sung or he was useful after many years of abuse. However, cuz he was in love with himself. His personality and his body. He was giving his best to keep Murdoc around and interested in him. But always ready for the worse even being positive most of time. For him the bad situation that was normal.

Murdoc nodded, agreeing with Stuart. "You're right. No one will ruin it. I won't let them." He said into Stuart's neck. He loved putting his face there. He could smell Stuart little caramel and peppermint scent, which always calmed him. He started kissing his neck gently.

He grabbed the computer and put it on the bedside table, turned off the light and resumed cuddling Stuart and kissing his neck as they laid down together. He kissed down his neck to his collarbones. The kid was skinny enough that they stuck out. He kissed up and down them gently.

"I’ll make every part of you, the whole world will know you're mine. I don't care what they say.... I’ll never hurt you again.... I’ll always make sure you're loved. I’ll give you everything you want and more. You're the love of my life." He whispered and continued kissing his collarbones and shoulders.

Stuart melted with his words and his actions when they both laid down. He wrapped his arms and legs around him pulling him close. "You promise......?" He whispered. His hand went to his hair caressing it slowly while the singer looked to the nearest wall. He loved when Murdoc kissed his neck. He shivered with his touches.

"Please.... Just do it Muds......" he whispered hugging him tighter "there's nothing I want more than that.... I swear." He kissed the top of his head. He moaned lowly with his kisses and closed his eyes. "I just wanna be yours.... Love......"

Murdoc chuckled into his neck and then looked up at him. The moon lit the inside of their bedroom nicely. "No moaning or I will make you mine.... Again." He laid back and had Stuart lay on his chest while he pet his hair gently. He run his fingers through the now almost dried hair just feeling in love and calm again.

"You are mine. I promise." He whispered, looking down at him. "No one can take you away Stuart...." he caressed his cheek with his thumb and just gently went back and forth in a soothing manner. He stared at the man till his eyelids started getting heavier and they started closing on him. "Goodnight love...." he mumbled as his hands wrapped around Stuart and held him close as he slept.

Stuart did the same to him, keeping him close "sleep well my love...." he felt his head heavy due to alcohol, and soon he slept too.

He had sweet dreams about Murdoc and himself with birds, glowing birds around them.... He felt special. He dreamed about their wedding, how the birds flew in the sky and Murdoc’s voice telling him "I do". He mumbled his name while he sleep and wrapped his arms tighter around him. He was happy. Had been a perfect day.

Murdoc woke up slowly the next day as the sun started to peek into the window. He looked down and saw Stuart was still on his chest. He smiled and pulled him up closer so he could snuggle with him. He buried his face into the unconscious boys hair and smiled. He heard him mumble his name and thought he was awake, but decided it was just a dream. He chuckled and whispered into his ear quiet enough so as not to wake him.

"I love you Stuart Pot. You're going to be a Niccals soon.... I never dreamed I would get to marry someone like you one day...... I always hated the idea of having to be shackled down to one person, but I just hadn't met the right person. I always thought love was a joke.... Something I couldn't have because who would love the drunk, bastard son of Sebastian Niccals? I grew up not wanted, but I didn't care, or I tried not to.... Till I met you.... You broke me down into a million pieces and built me back up into something better. Thank you Stuart.... I promise I’ll make it up to you...." he kissed his forehead.

He liked confessing when he thought Stuart was asleep. It seemed so much easier. He was so full of love, he just wanted to spill his heart out to him. It was a little difficult though normally.

Stuart had woke up the moment he was pulled close for a hug. His head was pounding with a giant hangover. He would start complaining but soon he heard Murdoc’s voice. He listened to all he was saying pretending he was asleep. Those were really sweet words.... He couldn’t think of a better way of waking up, besides a blowjob, that was something much more Murdoc to do.

He mumbled "I love you" lowly only for Murdoc to hear. He would never forget those words and how sincere they sounded. He buried his face on his chest trying not to cry. He felt so overwhelmed with emotions and so happy. He sighed and his eyes watered. He couldn’t put in words any answer that was even closer to what he was feeling right now. He held Murdoc close shivering.

Murdoc was a little startled when he heard "I love you" from Stuart. Then the kid started burying his face into his chest and hugging him and shaking. He was a little worried and pulled Stuart closer. "Hey.... You okay love? Did you hear all that?" He whispered, brushing his hair back.

He felt bad if he upset Stuart, especially so early in the morning. He was just trying to be sweet with a sleeping Bluebird. "I'm sorry Stuart. Did I upset you?" He asked softly.

Stuart nodded then shook his head "I heard, Muds...." he whispered "You say such beautiful things.... And they sound so sincere, love.... " he said against his neck "Don’t be sorry.... I never heard words this sweet to me, never before in my life.... You didn’t upset me.... I'm just happy you feel this way...... Cuz I feel the same...." he kissed his neck.

 "This is better than anything I’ve ever had...." he chuckled "Thank you...... Good morning my husband...." he said in a low tone nuzzling his face on his neck. He looked for his hand grabbing it and interlacing his fingers with him.

Murdoc smiled softly and gave his hand a slight squeeze. "Good morning husband." He said gently. It was still a little foreign to him but he'd get used to it soon. He kissed him again and rubbed his back gently. He couldn't think of a more perfect way to wake up than with his love on his chest in a comfortable beach house.

"I'm glad you liked what I said. I meant every word of it Stuart. I hope you know that...." he whispered. He then stretched and rubbed his face before looking back at Stuart. "How did you sleep?" He asked, bringing his hand up to kiss.

"Like a baby.... " he smiled fondly. "I dreamed of our wedding, Muds...." he said happily stretching himself and looking at him. "There were so many birds in it.... It was so beautiful...." he closed his eyes remembering "you were so gorgeous in a black tux waiting for me...." he purred. "How did you sleep, my black wolf?" he joked yawning.

Murdoc laughed, "Too many birds’ sounds like a nightmare, imagine all the bird crap. But I'm sure I was gorgeous in my tux. How did my hair look? Should I keep it like this or change it?" He teased. He had no idea what the hell else he'd do with his hair.

"And I bet you looked stunning love. You'd wear a white tux? Even though white symbolizes purity and, well.... You're about as dirty as I am." He teased and kissed him deeply and passionately.

Stuart laughed "Purity.... You took it from me the first time we shagged your nasty pickle...." he joked nudging him. He run his fingers through his hair "The same tick fringe as always Muds...... It was blurry I dunno if you had another haircut or...." he pulled his fringe up seeing his brows. He smiled. "No, the guests didn’t had the pleasure of seeing your forehead...." Murdoc looked really different with his hair up.

"Are you planning on doing something about your hair, my love...?" he said looking at his brows. He chuckled, Murdoc was a lot more expressive with them showing. Maybe a lot angrier. He began playing with his hair, finding another toy to play with. "I Like your hair...." he whispered. "You have the same haircut since you were little right?"

Murdoc snorted, "Yeah my dick up your ass took any purity you had left." He winked. When he pulled up his hair to look at his brows, he wiggled his eyebrows up and down for him playfully.

"Yeah.... Essentially. I have a few scars up there...." he pointed to a couple different ones he had. "Got them when I was young.... Always hated them so I was happy to keep the bangs. Of course, now I don't care about the scars, but I’ve had my hair like this for so long I don't know how else I’ll wear it.... Should I keep my forehead hidden for your eyes only by sweet little bird?" He chuckled. He liked Stuart playing with his hair, it was a nice feeling.

Stuart narrowed his eyes to see what scars he was talking about.... "What happened, Muds.... You fell when younger?" The only thing the singer could think about was falling and hitting his head to earn scars like the singer did when younger. "Why you hate them...? They're faded.... There's no need to be ashamed of them...." he said softly.

He looked at him frowning for a moment and had an idea. He got up really quick and went into his bag. He had brought some hair gel and other things to his hair in case it was so damaged from the sun and the salty water he wanted to keep it in place. He came back smiling not bothering he was still naked.

"Let's see how you are with your hair up Muds..." he passed a small amount of hair gel on his hands and started to run his fingers through his hair putting it up. After his job was done he looked at Murdoc and he was so.... Different "I like that Muds...." he said pointing to the mirror so he could look at himself there. He blushed, Murdoc was really handsome after his little action.  "You look even .... Younger...." he dared to say.

Murdoc shrugged, "Let’s see.... I got one when my dad threw a bottle at my head. I usually dodged him, but the bastard caught me off guard that time. Another was when I was in middle school and tried to follow Hannibal to a high school party. It was dark and I tripped on a rock and my head slammed down into some other rocks. Went back home to clean up. Um.... Another was when Hannibal and I got into a bit of a scrap in the house and he burned me with his cigarette. Prick." He growled as Stuart fixed up his hair with the gel. He was curious to see how this turned out.

When he was done, he got up to look in the mirror. He was pleasantly surprised. "Wow Stu. You're right. I do look a bit younger. I look pretty damn good, huh?" He chuckled, turning to look back at Stuart and gave him a very seductive smile.

"What if I walked up to you as a total stranger looking like this. Would you let me fuck you?" He asked, a small laugh escaping at the ridiculous idea.

Stuart was sad hearing the origin of those scars.... He was already thinking it was something related to his childhood. He bit his lip and thought that he wouldn’t want hid hair the way he put it to hide his scars. He looked down.

He smiled from ear to ear when he heard Murdoc liked what he did. He nodded vigorously when he said he looked younger. "You look hot, love." He said honestly. "I'd give you 30.... Nothing else...." he chuckled. He was proud he made Murdoc smile early in the morning.

"Considering you're naked...... Probably." He laughed a lot laying on the bed. He placed a hand on his head it was killing him. " You'd use your charm to seduce a naive and virgin young lad....? How naughty you are.... Probably if I was drunk you'd have fucked me yes.... I think even sober" he joked sitting up again.

"And my hair, Muds....?" He shook his head to make it wave "What would look good with it....? A ponytail?" He laughed at his suggestion. He would let Murdoc do something with his hair in return.

Murdoc noticed how Stuart held his head. He walked over and grabbed his pills then walked back and handed him a couple. He sat down next to Stuart and pulled him into his lap. He kissed his neck gently.

"Mmm, if I saw a handsome naive kid like you in a bar.... Alone.... I'd seduce the fuck out of you." He whispered, nibbling his ear. "My little naive virgin. Daddy would treat you well." He teased.

He grabbed Stuart's hair and brought it up into a messy ponytail. "I think that would look adorable, but I love your wild blue hair. It's what makes you.... You, you know? I want that blue hair contrasting with your white tux...." he purred.

Stuart accepted the pills happily "Thanks, my love...." he whispered and swallowed them dry. He was hangover but at least wasn't puking. He was surprised and smiled when he was pulled into his lap.

He shivered and blushed hearing daddy. It was even more turning on when Murdoc talked about himself using this word. He smiled to him with a ponytail. He looked at him "how about......my nails Muds... They contrasting with my white tux too ...? I could paint them some color huh....?" He looked at his hands imagining it "it would look beautiful with my ring, innit....?" He tried to avoid his lewd behavior.

Murdoc looked at his hands as well. "I personally think you should paint them all pastels. Different colors yeah?" He chuckled and kissed his neck, wanting to continue touching him more. He wanted to be close at the moment, he didn't care much how.

"I love you Stuart Pot." He said looking at him. "You could come in wearing a burlap sack, I would still make you mine." He purred happily. He went back to nibbling on his neck, licking from the bottom of his neck up to hid ear and sticking his tongue in.

'Now he wanted to paint his nails in pastel colors to please Murdoc. He decided he would try it anytime. He tilted his head to make more room to him. He yelped when he stuck him tongue into his ear. "Mu’doc!" He placed a hand on his ear frowning.

As Murdoc was really touchy he decided be too. He turned around and straddled the Satanist. He run his fingers through his new hair and started kissing his neck back roughly. "You're such a tease this way, love...... Really handsome Y'know....? I'm so in love with you...." he whispered between kisses.

"Stuart Niccals for you...." he whispered into his ear licking and nibbling it. He sucked his neck leaving some hickeys in it as last night he couldn't do it. "I love you too babe...." he grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled his head up so he could face Murdoc. "You're mine." He purred against his lips.

Murdoc snickered when he pulled away from his tongue bath. He stopped and smiled wide when he straddled him, his hands moving to Stuart's hips. He hummed as the singer started kissing his neck roughly. "I love you too, he whispered back.

"My little bird is getting puckish, my little Stuart Niccals." He teased as he nibbled on his neck. A hand came up and rubbed his back as he marked him. He was a little surprised when Stuart grabbed his hair and made him face him. He shivered when he heard Stuart say he was his.

"Oooh.... Yes, Sir...." he growled seductively. "I'm all yours.... Forever and always sweet boy." He smiled and licked Stuart's lips playfully, smirking a bit.

Stuart smiled to him and pecked his lips. "Let's have breakfast and walk along the beach love....? What do you think....?" He said lowly caressing his face. "We need to rest.... Let's make love in the sunset.... Right?" He rubbed his nose against his and stood up. "Leave your hair like that huh....? Let's take some pictures...." he offered.

He leaned closer and kissed his forehead sweetly and whispered "I'm sorry." He felt hurt seeing his scars. He knew he couldn't have prevented them from happening but.... He felt like kissing it. He didn't hate Murdoc or his scars. Or was ashamed of them. He was happy he survived.

Murdoc chuckled and brought Stuart's mouth down to kiss gently. "My sweet love. There's nothing for you to be sorry about. All of my scars were stupid little accidents and because of those I kept this sexy ass haircut." He teased. He did remember having the curls for a while, but birds he picked up had always given shit about his scars, he got rid of that style and it seemed to do the trick.

"I would love breakfast and walking on the beach." He purred. "Do I have to cook? My recipe book in my head consists of what I made yesterday." He laughed and tapped his head as if it was empty.

He stood up with him and stretched, taking another look in the mirror. "You really like how this looks?" He asked again, turning to Stu.

Stuart chuckled. He was in an amazing mood that morning. "Is there anything there we don't have to cook babe?" He asked going to his bag to grab some clothes. He wouldn’t bother Murdoc cooking for him.

He looked to him seeing himself in the mirror and smiled. "I loved it, Muds..." he held him by his shoulders shaking him.  "You should do it in our wedding.... It would look beautiful with you black tux, love...." he kissed his cheek "your beautiful either way for me Muds.... Even if you were bald" he laughed putting some underwear on.

Murdoc laughed and grabbed some underwear as well, putting it on. "Hell no. Let's not go there. Bald would not be a good look for me." He did like the idea of fixing his hair up for the wedding though. That sounded like a good idea.

"Alright, I’ll keep my hair for pictures later. Maybe take a couple of selfies with you?" He said, walking out into the kitchen. He looked in the fridge. "You gonna post them?" He asked as he surveyed what they had.

"And it looks like we only have the fruit. Suppose we can do that. Wanna feed each other?" He smiled deviously as he pulled them out and handed the bowl to Stuart. "You can feed me nice and slow...." he teased and winked.

Stuart chuckled lowly imagining Murdoc bald. Definitely wouldn’t be good. He was just joking. He smiled even more when he mentioned taking pictures. He nodded and put some shorts on. "Well, I wasn’t planning on post, Muds... I think yesterday pictures already caused too much fuss...." he leaned closer him "I can’t imagine what people would say about your new hair.... If you look more like a bottom or a top with it...." he laughed.  "girls would go wild with you looking younger...." he nudged him and sat down at the table.

"I can feed you, my love.... But I need something greasy cuz I'm with a hell of a hangover.... " he pouted "can I have something greasy that’s not your hair, please?" he joked grabbing the bowl and sitting on his lap. He offered him a strawberry with the cutest face he could make "and a kiss, please....?" he smiled placing the fruit between his lips.

Murdoc laughed, "I'm not quite sure what it would take to make me look like a bottom to those people...." He looked at Stuart, "You really think so? I mean.... Girls go wild for me anyways, anymore and you'll have to start beating them off with sticks." He smirked.

He chuckled and popped the strawberry all the way into his mouth before kissing Stuart. "Oh it's greasy now is it?" He said, helping Stuart back up so he could get up. "I’ll make you more bacon, that way I can make you a BLT, sound good? Then while we wait for the bacon, you can feed me more fruits, just like the god I am." He winked and started the bacon.

When he was done, he sat back down and pat his lap for Stuart. "Why don't you come back and sit on my lap love?" He smiled devilishly.

Stuart laughed imagining him running around chasing girls with a stick. The stick would be thicker  than his limbs.

He nodded to Murdoc’s suggestion smiling. He was really kind cooking for him. He would feed Murdoc despite he was a god or not. He loved doing that.

He grabbed the bowl again and went to his lap sitting on it and offering him more fruits. He chuckled, Murdoc looked even shorter this way. Stuart tried to curl himself a bit to look less tall. "you like when I feed you love?" he whispered smiling to him.

Murdoc noticed how Stuart was scrunching himself down to make himself not look so tall against Murdoc. He laughed and hugged him close. "Stu.... I love when you just look my way, of course I love it when you feed me. You make me feel like a god." He smirked and bit down on a grape winking.

When the bacon was done, he got up with Stuart, giving his ass a little smack and grabbing the bacon to make sandwiches. He sat down with two, giving one to Stu. "Do you like feeding me?" He asked, curious if he was okay with doing that for him. He figured he better make sure before he asked again.

Stuart grabbed the sandwich thanking him for it. "I love to......" he smiled wide "I love knowing which type of sweet you prefer so i can treat you right.... Since you don’t like chocolate and sugar like me.... And sweets should make everyone happy, including you" he blushed.

"I think I must spoil you y’know? You take so much care of me.... You treat me so well.... Its the least i could do as your husband. " he shrugged "feeding, dancing with you, massages, singing for you, a good sex.... I'm not that skillful but I like seeing you smile...." he took a bit of his sandwich looking away embarrassed. "Is there any other thing you'd like me to do for you, Muds? I can try...."

Murdoc gave him a sly look, "Nothing's as sweet as you my little blueberry." He teased and growled in a playful manner before taking a bite of his sandwich. He was happy the kid was so willing to find something he liked, it was sweet.

"Of course I'm going to try to take good care of you Bluebird.... I really want to." He said. He didn't mention how he owed it to him too after all the shit he had to deal with. "Stuart, I don't know what you're on about. You do plenty, the most important being putting up with my bullshit. But you know what I love the most? When you sing....  You're the most talented individual I know.... Never stop singing, yeah?" He said, giving him a soft smile.

Stuart heard him taking a bite of his sandwich. He smiled. "Muds...." he looked at him. "I never want you to leave me.... So.... I need to do stuff to make you stay y’know....?" he said honestly. He needed to give him reasons not to go to another person either to shag or to anything. "I'd never stop singing for you, love.... The best time I sung was with you.... Our song...." he giggled remembering. "I like when you sing.... With me" he whispered blushing.

"we had so many first times I couldn’t even count..." he laughed. "I have a short memory but I bet I won’t forget any of those times. " he stood up going to the fridge "want something to drink my love?" he asked softly.

Murdoc smiled, "Can I get a tequila sunrise? Wait.... Do we have any tequila? Just orange juice then love." When Stuart brought his drink over he grabbed his hand and pulled him down for a kiss.

"Stuart.... You do realize that we're in the point of our relationship where you don't have to try to impress me or be useful right? I love you for you. All of you. Not just your gorgeous voice. If you lost your voice today, I'd still be with you. Your job as the singer may be a bit compromised...." he teased. "Just love me.... That's all I ask." He kissed him again.

Stuart grabbed a cup to himself too, smiling. He blushed when he asked to be loved.... It was all he wanted to do with his since the very beginning when he was scared Murdoc hated him. He bit his lip to this bad memory.

 "Well, Muds.... I'm just following what my parents did and taught me...." He looked at him sitting on another chair "My mother told me once that forever is made of "nows" so even if I don't have to conquer you anymore cuz you're already mine.... I need to treat you right to make you stay...." He smiled "and I want you with me forever.... Till I'm not able to sing anymore... " he laughed finishing his sandwich.

"Just love me back huh? I know you can do it.... You changed a lot, Muds.... To good" he took a sip of his juice smiling. Murdoc was really a different person. They didn't even fight once in this trip. He was patient and lovely with Stuart.

Murdoc chuckled, "You can honestly conquer me any time." He winked. He listened to Stuart as he finished his sandwich. The kid was making sense, as long as they still loved each other everything would go smoothly.

He smiled at Stuart. "Have I really changed a lot?" He asked, grabbing Stuart's plate and putting it with his own and putting them in the sink. He walked back over and kissed him gently

Stuart laughed "if you changed? Muds we're traveling together for a whole week just you and me...... You proposed me.... You bought us rings.... You're patient with me now.... You talked to my parents.... You allowed me to talk to your mother and brothers.... We kissed in front of everyone on the stage.... We posted photos together as a couple assuming to everyone we're getting married...." he started talking and his smiled just grew wider

 "Muds, you're another person totally different  from the one that......" he looked down realizing what he was saying "would hit and yell at me if I said or did anything you don't like...." he swallowed hard. That thought scared the shit outta him. An image of an angry Murdoc raising fists and a grimace of hatred came to his mind. It was really scary.

That angry Murdoc seemed that now never existed. Now he could feel how he was terrified of Murdoc coming back to his old self. He shivered remembering how Murdoc was.... Remembering him getting high to forget that Murdoc hated him. Remembering how he felt miserable and lonely. All the times he did wrong things so Murdoc would pay attention to him. His eyes widened.

"You changed, Muds.... You're my love now. And I'm free to tell you I love you. And I'm really happy you chose me of all people in the world...." he whispered a bit pale. He downed the whole juice at once trying to calm down looking at the hand with the ring with a scared face.

Murdoc’s shoulders hunched a bit and he felt his chest tighten again. He wondered if he could ever forgive himself for doing that to Stuart. He felt sick just thinking about it. He had no idea how Stuart ever forgave him. He knelt down so he could see the singer’s face and felt pained as he saw how scared he looked. He brought his hands up to either side of his face gently.

"Stuart.... Look at me. I can't change what I did, but I can dictate my actions moving forward. Never again, okay? I promise you this. Even if I can't promise you anything else, it's that I’ll never hit you or yell at you again.... Okay? I’ll take such good care of you.... I want to spoil you like no one's ever been spoiled before. Can I do that for you?" He asked softly.

Stuart blinked twice to go out his paranoia. He focused on Murdoc trying to calm down. He felt terrified for a moment. He looked into his eyes and threw himself on his arms breathing hard kneeling in front of him. He needed to feel Murdoc close to be sure he wasn't back into that dark time. He hold him tight shaking.

He hid his face on his chest  taking deep breaths. "Please Muds.... Just don't...." his voice was nothing above a whisper full of despair. "I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to..." he nuzzled his face on his chest. "I forgave you...... Really.... I just...." he sniffled "I just couldn't forget.... Yet.... I'm so sorry.... I’m trying.... I just thought about it and .... All come back at once...." he closed his eyes.

He didn't want to ruin the moment but just remembering made him so deeply hurt and scared. "I love you......" he softened the hug feeling his eyes water. "Just.... Love me back okay.... I’ll be good I promise...." he said with his voice broken.

Murdoc’s heart broke from the kids broken voice. He hugged him to him tightly. It was a hug full of love, a deep love. He wanted Stuart to know he was there for him and that he was loved.

"Christ Stuart...... Of course. Of course I’ll love you.... Forever and always." He peppered his face with kisses and held him close. "You're here with me now, not back then. Not with the old Murdoc. This is now and I love you more than life itself. Please.... I'm so sorry.... I love you so much." He whispered.

He kept talking as he held him, "Stuart, I know what I did back then. I can never forgive myself.... I don't care if you've forgiven me, I’ll never forgive myself, but damnit Stu. I'm going to make it up to you. I don't care if it takes my entire life and everyone after that...." he ran his hand through Stuart's hair trying to sooth him.

Stuart felt his warm embrace and tried to calm down feeling Murdoc close and how his words were real. He took a deep breath. He nodded to what he said. He wasn't the Murdoc that was haunting him. He was his husband now, his Murdoc, his love. Nothing more to be scared of. He just needed to focus on this.

After some moments, he managed to calm down and slowly broke the hug looking into his eyes. "T-that's okay Muds.... I just.... Panicked."  He caressed his face. "I think I have.... Some old ghosts I need to overcome... Some memories I need to forget." he chuckled and wiped his eyes. "You know how I’m not strong.... But I believe you...." He whispered.

He cupped his face with both hands and kissed him deeply and passionately. He sniffled "Can.... Can we walk along the beach love...?. I think I’ll feel better if I see the ocean.... I bet now it's blue as my hair..." He asked shyly still holding his face. He smiled to reassure Murdoc he was okay. "I love you." He kissed his forehead.

Murdoc nodded and kissed him back. "I love you so much.... Let’s go walk love." He smiled and stood up, still holding onto him. He hugged him tight one last time before grabbing his hand and walking out with him after putting swim trunks, a shirt, some flip flops, and sunglasses.


	56. Love

He walked out, his hand fully clasped around Stuart’s. It was beautiful out. There was a slight breeze, but it was nice and warm. The ocean was calm and all he heard was the sound of the waves crashing and the gulls squeaking. He looked down as they walked, a little afraid to talk in case Stuart needed some quiet time.

Stuart was quick to put some clothes on to follow Murdoc. He felt like he needed some air. Once outside he smiled. He felt some relief when he heard nature and how it was calming. It helped him wash his bad thoughts away.

He began walking feeling how the sand was warm under his feet. And he began walking to where the water met the sand to wet his feet together with Murdoc. He noticed Murdoc a bit quiet and looking down. He lifted the hand he was holding and kissed it smiling to him "let's look for shells, Muds? I want some to make a collection and remember here huh?" He said smiling trying to unfocus in what happened before

 "The day is beautiful.... The beach is ours...." he whispered to him looking around. Even his headache was weaker now. He took a deep breath "you really chose a breathtaking place for us, love...."

Murdoc smiled and nodded, "Yeah, let’s grab some shells. I'd love that." He said, looking at him fondly. He looked amazing in the sun.... Shining over his blue hair. Murdoc could even see the slight red in his eyes from the blood, he looked pretty wicked.

He looked around and started grabbing a few shells he thought he'd like. They were sort of smaller, he needed to find bigger ones. He found a little crab scuttling across the sand. He laughed at it and tried to sweep it away slightly so he didn't step on it. The thing snapped it's little claw over his finger though.

"Ah! Little bastard!" He yelped, trying to shake the little bugger off. He pulled it off and set him back on the ground and he scuttled off into a nearby water pool.

Stuart went to look for shells too. It was something pretty interesting to do to easy his mind. He went to look for the big ones as his vision wasn’t the best. He wanted to look for different colors and sizes to maybe make a necklace or something.

He could grab a big amount in his long fingered hands. He was having fun till he saw Murdoc cursing for some reason. He looked and saw a crab hurting him. He laughed and went to help him. He grabbed his hand and kissed it where it was hurt. "Now will heal...." he joked "What you have in there love....? Did you find good ones...?" he smiled showing him his.

He had some pink ones, others white, others yellowish. He was proud of his seek. "after we can make a sand castle...." he said excitedly. "My mother never allowed me to do those things when i was little Muds, thank you for the patience to do with me now." he smiled softly.

Murdoc smiled and nodded, "Yeah, here." He opened up his stash showing an array of shells, both large and small, and even  a sand dollar he was lucky to find mostly intact. He thought he'd found a fairly good stash. He'd never really been to the beach like this let alone collecting shells, but it was kind of nice.

 "How many do you need love? I don't know how many more crabs I can fight off." He said, looking at his finger where it'd punched him. It was just a little red, nothing serious. He looked over at the little water pool by a bunch of coral, and decided to take a closer look. Inside was a cluster of small sea animals and even a tiny octopus. He called Stuart over to come look.

"I think we have enough...." he said looking to how may they had in hands. He placed the shells on he sand in a safe place and followed Murdoc to where he was pointing and it was an adorable surprise. He smiled seeing the tiny creatures. "Oh Muds.... They're so small.... So beautiful.... I should have brought my camera...." he said lowly leaning against the water pool. That octopus was really interesting.

Looking closer he could see another pretty shell. It was shiny and a bit bluish. His eyes widened seeing that light. He loved shiny things. He carefully caught it but when he was about to take his hand off the water he felt a sharp pain on his arm.

It was a jellyfish that wasn’t happy with the singer. It was so fast he didn’t even noticed it coming. It burned him and he shouted grabbing his hand close to his body holding the shell. At least he managed to catch the shell he wanted. He just hoped it wasn’t as bad as it hurt his wound.

Murdoc jumped in surprise when he heard the singer’s loud yell. He grabbed his arm, "Shit did you get stung?!" He asked, looking at his arm. He saw the wounds from a sting start to appear. They weren't big but it's still hurt.

"Come on Stuart, we need to get you home real quick so we can add some vinegar to it and get the stingers out. You okay walking or you need me to carry you?" He asked.

Stuart looked at him pouting and nodding "I can walk Muds... I'm sorry.... I shouldn’t have put my hand into there...." he said lowly. He didn't like the vinegar idea.... It sounded painful. But he trusted Murdoc would know what to do. He grabbed his big bluish shell and stood up ready to go. He would catch the others another time.

Murdoc gave him a soft smile and collected all their shells together and used his shirt as a little pouch to carry them all so Stuart didn't have to worry about it. "It's okay love. It'll take a moment, we'll be back out okay? Promise." He said.

When they got to the house, he had Stuart sit down in the tub so he could poor vinegar on the wound and then take a warm shower for 20 to 30 mins like he read after they removed the stingers.

He poured the vinegar then got a credit card and scraped it against his wound so it'd pull the barbs out. He felt bad as that was a little painful.

Stuart just followed Murdoc’s instructions not questioning him. He felt tears pouring from his eyes but he didn't make a noise. It hurt and stung but he knew it was necessary. He closed his eyes not to see he wound while he worked on it.

He bit his lip and leaned against Murdoc while he was with the credit card "A-and I thought those things were just for.... Paying bills and all that...." he chuckled trying to ignore the pain. "Thank you Muds...." he whispered kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry." He just hoped He didn't ruin the day. He sniffled and looked down wiping his eyes with his other hand.

Murdoc felt awful that he was making Stuart cry like this, even if it wasn't his fault. He needed to do this though or they'd possibly have to head to a hospital and that'd ruin the trip completely. He chuckled at Stuart's joke and wiped some tears away from his cheeks. "I know love, I'm so sorry, it'll hurt for just a little longer and then we'll get you in the hot water, yeah?" He said

When he believed he got all the barbs out, he undressed himself, helped Stuart and then turned on the water to a hot temperature. He sat at the bottom of the shower with Stuart and held him close in front of him with Stuart's back to him, making sure the water was hitting the wound. He kissed Stuart's neck and back continuously to help him forget the pain. He had no idea if it was helping, but he had to try at least.

Stuart let him take care of him again. It wasn’t a severe wound but he loved all attention he was receiving from him. He was greedy about that. He let the waterfall and forgot totally about the wound when Murdoc started kissing him. He felt so loved so cared. He sighed turning to him and kissing his lips slowly and passionately.

"I love you.... I really do...... Thank you...." he whispered resting his head on his shoulder. "Have you seen the big blue shell I could catch? It's beautiful Muds.... " he chuckled resting his body against him. "the bloody thing was too fast but I could catch it before it stung..." he said proudly kissing his neck. "My hero...." he whispered.

Murdoc smiled and rubbed the singer’s back as he laid against him. "Yeah, love, I did. It was beautiful.... Not as beautiful as you of course, but close. It seems that jelly fish wanted to fight you for it." He chuckled and laid his head against Stuarts.

"You need to be more careful Bluebird. I can't have you going back to the UK in worse shape than you arrived. Russel and Noodle will have my hide." He said, partially joking, partially not. If Stuart was really hurt, he'd be in big trouble, not that he wouldn't feel horrible anyways.

Stuart suddenly remembered them. Living into that dream made him forget they had a band and compromises for a while "Well you didn’t hurt me...." he said lowly. At least not to really hurt, the candle stung but it was fun. It was sex...... Those wounds didn’t count. He wondered if they had seen their photos on the internet and what they were doing now.

"I’ll be more careful, promise...." he looked to his arm "It's not bad love.... Will be okay in no time...." he looked at him "you can tell them I fell.... On the rocks at the beach..."he chuckled it was something he could have totally done. But some years ago ir was the most frequent excuse he used to give them for Murdoc’s beat ups. He shook his head to his thought.

 "Don't think they will ask, Muds.... Russel didn’t try to kill you when I told them the news before leaving...." he said softly playing with his hands. "A shame that your hair now will go back to its original position" he chuckled "I'd have to do it again to take pictures later..."

Murdoc chuckled, "Stu, you can tell them you were stung by a Jellyfish, I don't think they'll blame me for that. Accidents do happen, yeah?" He nuzzled into Stuart. Then he looked at his arm where he'd been stung and looked over it a bit. It seemed to be fine, just leaving a bunch of small marks where it'd touched him. He felt a little relieved.

"Good, you can redo my hair and the remember hour camera this time, yeah? And maybe I’ll bring the backpack with the blanket and stuff so we don't have to come back here. How does that sound?" He asked, brushing back Stuart's wet hair.

Stuart smiled. "Sounds amazing, love...." he blushed "We can watch our video...." he suggested lowly.... "Who knows it gives us inspiration for....another lay huh?" he joked blushing beet red. It was better than reading the comments last night. He thought Murdoc was curious about the result.

"There are some mountains near here Muds... You think up there the vision we have is beautiful?  We could have a day us and the nature.... If you want... " he suggested. Climbing some mountains sounded interesting for the blue dolt. It seemed a calm spot for them. A bit dangerous if he fell but oh well.  With Murdoc he felt he could do anything. "Let’s have a good day off, my love...." he smiled wide.

Murdoc laughed, "Did you want to climb mountains today? Or continue on the beach?" He was curious just how adventures the kid wanted to be today. Murdoc was up for it, but maybe not in one day, he was still older than Stu and way more out of shape, even if he wouldn't admit it.

"And I would love to watch that video with you." He said, growling playfully and nuzzling his neck. He wasn't sure how much Stuart would be into it, or if he'd be more embarrassed or not. He smiled at the idea of him seeing how lewd he truly was.

"I dunno Muds.... I'm up to anything to make up for my little breakdown earlier..." he said looking down and giggling with his nuzzle. "We can do anything you want.... As long as I'm with you I’m okay...." he said softly. "Beach, mountains or staying in, you pick love" he smiled.

He stood up and helped Murdoc do the same. He cupped his face and kissed him passionately.... He thanked him with that kiss. "Let's finish here and enjoy our day right.... ? No more burnings..." he offered him a towel and grabbed one for himself.

Murdoc grabbed the towel, and dried himself. "How do you feel? Does it still feel okay?" He grabbed his arm to check it. It had the neat little jellyfish burn patterns but he seemed okay. This made him feel better.

He dried himself off. "I still want to walk along the beach.... Maybe grab dinner at a nearby shack somewhere down the way, walk back. We can take some pictures along the way, which means you need to fix my hair again." He ran his towel over his hair to try to dry it. "Then I want to make love to you just as planned." He pulled him close and kissed him passionately.

Stuart nodded to him. "That's a good plan...." he said blushing. "Put on your clothes and I’ll fix it again...." he winked to him going to look for clothes to himself. "Yeah it feel okay Muds.... Will be just fine...." he guaranteed to him with a smile.

He put on the same clothes he was wearing previously. Shorts a shirt and his flip flops. He took a quick look at his arm and it seemed okay. "Should we bring something to eat Muds....?"

Murdoc shrugged after putting on his clothes again and drying off his hair. "I can bring snacks if you'd like. That way we'll be hungry enough to eat at the little restaurant down the other side of the beach, yeah?" He said.

He grabbed a few snacks and some waters and a few other items to bring so they didn't have to come back. He'd just wear the backpack the rest of the time, but that wasn't an issue. It was good to prepare himself because the odds of Stuart getting hurt again were high. When he was done he sat down and waited for Stuart to do his hair.

Stuart grabbed again his hair gel and started doing Murdoc’s hair again. He smiled all the time he did it. "You still feel like dying it, Muds?" he asked curiously looking at his shiny hair. He thought he didn’t. And he wondered if people would recognize him with that new haircut. "you're handsome.... Bet the photos will be cool...." he smiled finishing his hair. "I’ll put some sunblock and we're ready to go...." he needed to protect the sore area or the sun would burn it.

Murdoc laughed, "No. I have no idea what color I would dye it and besides," he said while standing and getting close to Stuart, "I couldn't be your blackbird anymore." He whispered, pulling him in for a kiss.

He pulled away, smiling. He grabbed the backpack, putting it on and then grabbing Stuart's hand to continue their walk. "Thanks for doing my hair again." He didn't think about looking in the mirror before leaving but he was sure it was fine.

Stuart smiled with that kiss. He followed him in the walk happy that Murdoc liked his hair the way he made. Stuart always thought he was picky with his hair. "You'll always be my black bird even if your hair is rainbow color, my lovely raven...." He teased.

When the singer grabbed the gel, he grabbed a hair tie too he tried to put his hair in a ponytail as it was really hot that day. He showed Murdoc the result "do I look good this way love....?" He thought he should be looking girly. He made a messy ponytail with some strands missing. "I should have brought my sunglasses ..." it was difficult for him seeing with his damaged eyes under the sun.

Murdoc looked at him in his ponytail and he smiled wide. "Oh.... Stu, I like that." He ran his hand up and flipped the little tiny tail around. "You look adorable like that.... Do that more often yeah? I didn't realize your hair was getting that long." He tucked some of the loose strands behind his ear.

He took his own sunglasses off and gave them to Stuart. He looked at him. "Well Stuart.... I would say, if we weren't waiting to make love tonight, I'd bend you over that rock over there." He pointed to a large rock near the edge of the beach.

"Maybe I should have a haircut soon..." He rubbed his face finding some stubs "and shave...." he giggled blushing. He loved when Murdoc liked how he looked like. He felt special. He wanted to look different ad Murdoc looked too.

He placed the sunglasses and felt even more confident. He blushed profusely "let's wait for the sunset, love.... Now it's too hot...." He stuck his tongue out "but thank you for the compliments Muds...." He leaned closer him and kissed under his ear "i promise we will have a wonderful day and finish it the best way possible huh....?" He wrapped an arm around his shoulders "You making me yours with all heavens to see right?" He whispered into his ear smiling.

"You want to go back to that little water pool babe?" He asked softly walking with him.

Murdoc shook his head, "No, no, no. Don't cut your hair just yet. Let it grow out yeah? Just a little longer so you can put it into a ponytail still. I quite like that look on you. You know I love that blue hair." He said, looking back up at him.

When he whispered in his ear, he shivered. He always loved when the singer did that, his voice always had a certain softness and love to it when he talked to Murdoc. It made him feel loved. "We will have a wonderful time tonight love."

"Matter of fact, yeah, let’s go to that water pool, take a little look, not touch the water, and take a few selfies, yeah? How does that sound?"

"Fine for me.... I liked that octopus.... Its so tiny.... Was it lost from his family....?" he said concerned about the tiny creature. "I wanna take pictures of them.... Don’t worry I won’t put my hand into the water anymore I swear" he smiled.

"I bet people would like to see our new styles...." he laughed. He wasn’t thinking about posting photos anymore but he wanted to remember how they looked while traveling.

Murdoc chuckled, "Well you can show them Stu. There's nothing to hide now. Let the world see how much fun we're having." He wrapped his arm around Stuart's waist, pulling him close as they walked. "I'm not ashamed or anything. I want people to know you're mine, even if they think I'm a nasty pickle. " he spat the last word out, he wasn't entirely sure why everyone called him that, well.... That was a lie, he knew but it wasn't very original in his mind.

"Oh you like that little octopus do ya? Do you like mine?" He asked, showing his octopus tattoo on his arm. "You never really ask about any of my tattoos, do any of them bother you?" He had wondered that for a while as people sometimes were bothered by the upside down crosses, or frowned at his Helios tattoo above his ass.

Stuart laughed at the nasty pickle.... It was a good nickname.... Better than stupid, dolt, face ache, dent head...... The ones he had. "I’ll post it them...... It's nice seeing some reactions..." he shrugged.

He looked at his tattoos. He knew each of them by heart. "No they don't Muds.... I know you're a Satanist so it explain the crosses...... I like this octopus.... I always found interesting above all things you chose an octopus to tattoo.... " he pointed to it "I'm not bothered.... I was just curious about the story behind them.... But the last time I asked you about the one you had on your back you punched me telling me it was not of my business.... You were drunk so I never asked anymore.... I was scared." he giggled. That punch hurt but now he felt like telling Murdoc.... He probably didn't remember it now. "Would you mind explaining me them now? That's okay if you don't.... " he said softly.

Murdoc felt bad. "Oh.... I don't remember that at all.... Sorry...." he chuckled nervously. "Uh.... Yeah I can tell you about each one. Uh, I won't explain the cross, but I got the octopus when I was drunk one night.... I actually don't really remember. You know, I think most of these I got when I was pretty shit faced." He laughed. "I don't really have any deep meaning behind any of them, except my Helios. I got that because Helios is the god and personification of the sun, and, well, you know, the sun shines out my ass." He snorted.

"Why do you have KFC on your arm?" He asked, bringing his hand up to kiss as they continued walking. He laid his head on his shoulder as they walked. It was easy witg the height difference.

Stuart chuckled. He loved Murdoc close and sappy. He was thinking about lots of stuff the first time he saw that Helios. No one of the explanations he had matched with what Murdoc was giving him. He thought Helios was some random guy that tattooed that to show Murdoc belonged to him or something.... When Stuart thought Murdoc could be not straight.... It was actually a good meaning even if Stuart didn’t know much about gods and mythology in general. He nodded.

 "I can’t imagine the face of the tattoer when you asked for a Helios and a bow pointing to your ass...... I think I just got used to them...... Cuz when I fuck you if I paid attention to this I wouldn’t be able to focus...." he laughed. "But yeah I like your crosses.... Actually your arms.... You could have tattooed anything I'd love it.... You have muscles Muds.... If i wanted muscles I would have to be born again...." he laughed. He was really skinny and always admired how Murdoc still had muscled even so much older than him. "Did you get any tattoo in jail Muds?" he knew it was something much likely Murdoc would do.

"Oh, My KFC?" he giggled "Kentucky Fried Chicken, i really like its meals.... I just wanted to show my love for fried chicken, Muds...." he shrugged. "No I wasn’t drunk when I did it.... It wanted to.... Face my parents when I was 18 y’know? So I decided to do something silly for that.... And there you have it.... K.F.C. I don’t regret it.... It was something I really enjoyed and I still like...." He pointed to his left arm. "My 23 ever bothered you, Muds? It has a story too...." he was really enjoying talking about tattoos. Even he having much less than Murdoc.

Murdoc snorted, "I have muscles?" He held up his arm and flexed his bicep. He didn't think he really hade a ton of muscle or anything. More than the kid maybe, but nothing serious. He smiled to his octopus kiss.

He nodded to Stuart's story about his tattoo. "Really now? What a rebel you are Stuart." He chuckled. Of course he'd get a tattoo like that for that reason, it didn't really surprise Murdoc at all. He shook his head to his question, "No, I think 23 is really the bands lucky number, good to have it tattooed right?" He smiled.

Murdoc suddenly remembered his other back tattoos he'd gotten in prison. "Oh shit, yeah, I completely forgot about the ones I got in prison. My seven deadly sins." He laughed. "I never see those tattoos and so much happened in between, I forgot. Can you guess which ones are my favorites?"

Stuart placed a finger on his lips thinking.... "Lust is definitely one, right? What else’s?" he asked curiously. He looked at his 23. "The meaning this number, Muds is to find the thing that truly makes you happy and do it to change your life for the better. Like I have to use my natural talents and abilities to make myself and others happy." he looked at him. "I sing. I was gifted with singing...." he chuckled " Besides 23rd of May is my birthday and...... When I was 23 we released our first album, Gorillaz, remember?" that was actually a coincidence, he already have tattooed it when they started making success.

"That's why my 23.... And yeah you have, at least more than me...." he shrugged showing his thin arm to compare with Murdoc. "See? Nothing.... Maybe a bit from the time I wanked" he joked. It looked like a sheet of blank paper. "And your deadly sins are a bit faded.... But people still can see it. I can take a picture if you want to see it...." he offered gently.

Murdoc laughed, "You just want a picture of my back don't you? And you are correct love. Lust is definitely one. You know I also love  a little gluttony and pride." He smirked. "I know they're sins but I don't see them that way. They're more.... Characteristics that make us human, you know?"

He looked at Stuart arm. "I don't know how you don't snap those twig arms, you bloody tree. You still got a great ass though." He chuckled, reaching back and grabbing it while they walked. He looked up at Stuart.

"How old are you again? No.... Wait.... Nevermind, don't tell me. I don't wanna feel old again...." he joked, partially. Sometimes he did forget he was so much older than Stuart, but he never usually felt that way.

Stuart chuckled "Definitely what makes you human...." he joked poking his nose.

He smirked "You're jealous cuz I'm taller and thinner than you...." he stuck his tongue out provoking him wiggling his ass. "And just for you knowledge Muds I'm 27...." he smiled "And I love older nasty pickles...." he laughed wrapping his arm around him swaying with him playfully. He wanted to make Murdoc smile.

Murdoc growled at him in a teasing manner, "And that's why I want to climb you like a tree." He laughed and winked at him. He smacked his ass playfully at his wiggle. This kid better watch himself or Murdoc wasn't going to last to sunset.

They reached the little pool and they got close, kneeling down to look inside it again. Murdoc groaned, "Oh Christ, I'm nearly 40.... I remember when I was 27.... Did nothing but smoke, fucked and drank. Those were the days...." he chuckled to himself remembering. When he thought back to them they weren't as great as he had thought at the time, but they weren't the worst years of his life by any means. He looked over at Stu, a soft smile on his face. "Well, love, you're in luck. You have a dirty pickle all to yourself." He joked.

Stuart chuckled "yeah Muds.... All for me...." he smiled "and what you do now that you're near 40? We fuck smoke and drink.... Just in a bit more romantic way.... But we're having a blast....as a couple...." he smiled wide "And the best part is that...... I can do all that with me man I love!" He said happily. He looked at the pool and grabbed his hand "it isn't worse when when you were 27.... Right?" He was a bit hesitant...... It was a bit before they met. Was that worse than what they were having now....? He swallowed hard. Stuart was really happy with Murdoc.... Old or not. For him that was the best time of their lives. He looked into his eyes softly.

Murdoc chuckled, "Well you're not wrong. Still do all those things. I get to do my favorite things with my favorite person." He squeezed Stuart's hand in his gently. He could tell Stuart was nervous that he'd say he was miserable now.

"Of course it isn't worse. It's much better. I was someone who truly had no one during those times.... Now I have someone who loved me, even when they know the real me. Rhe smoking, drinking, slutty me." He chuckled and brought his hand up to kiss while looking at him.

"It's all because of you Stuart. Truly. I wouldn't be anywhere and I would be no one if I hadn't you." He whispered. He cupped his chin and pulled him close for a soft, yet passionate kiss.

Stuart chuckled, he was sure he knew all Murdoc’s self. The bad and the good parts by now.... For a mysterious person like him it was even something good being opened to another human being, even if this human being was Stuart above all people.

Stuart returned his kiss feeling warm by his words. "I'm happy I could do something this important to you Muds.... I mean... Change your life for better...." he blushed shyly breaking the kiss. He looked at the pool and the little octopus was there. He smiled. "Tiny things in life have another meaning when we share with people we love...." he whispered absentminded.

He looked at Murdoc "just.... Be yourself with me okay? You can.... And I don’t want anything less than the truth." he smiled. "I know you do many things or me to make up.... But I'm fine with you just being genuine." he kissed his cheek and kept looking at the creatures into the water.

Murdoc nodded slowly. "Well.... I try to be genuine with you Stuart. I don't think you want me to be completely genuine though.... I'm not as great as you might think Stuart. Really. I still only want to smoke, drink, fuck. I get angry, but keep it hidden, well.... Because you know why. Actually, it's not so much angry as it is frustrated. And it's not because of you at all. With life sometimes? I never grew up learning how to cope well with things that don't go my way, you know? I had to fight and take everything I wanted in life...."

He looked at the pool of creatures. When he looked closer, he could tell just how alive the water really was. It was active. "I hate to admit it.... But I'm still a little hurt over this mother situation. I know I shouldn't be.... I hate that my brothers got everything I ever wanted.... I hated that about you Stuart.... I don't know how to deal with those feelings, you know?" He kept his eyes down, feeling guilty over what he was saying.

Stuart nodded to his explanations. He had a point.... Everyone had boundaries even with loved ones.... Murdoc could actually scare him if he showed his whole self. "Are you frustrated with life Muds......? I mean.... You have everything you want.... The band, success, money.... Me...." he whispered. "I know you have much anger.... But I never understood why... I thought You were angry with me.... In the beginning... " he said lowly.

"And now.... You're better coping?" He bit his lip. Maybe he was asking too many things. He always managed to cope with frustration.... Isolating himself and crying. At least he didn't take over other people his frustrations.

He placed a hand over his shoulder. "Muds...." he whispered making him look at him. " You have everything you ever wanted, love.... It just.... Took a bit more.... You had to fight a lot more.... But you make it." he said sadly rubbing his shoulder. He felt stupid saying those things "but hate won't take you anywhere...." he leaned closer him "You just have to leave the past where it belongs and see what you have ahead.... Forget what you already suffered" he smiled

 "Me, your family, happiness.... Everything you never had before...." he kissed his cheek looking at the pool. He needed to do something about Murdoc feeling down. "I don't know how you feel cuz I don't have brothers.... But I'm here with you.... To anything...." he promised.

He didn't know what to say exactly how to teach someone to cope with feelings.... If Murdoc never did this before. "I love you and they love too.... I know it." Ha caressed his hair "You have a mother Muds.... You never thought you had one right...?" He tried to see the bright side of everything.

Murdoc shook his head. "No.... I'm not frustrated with life. Just stuck in my past I suppose...." he looked at Stuart and frowned when he said to forget about what he suffered. How was he supposed to forget? Usually he did when he drank.

"That's easy for you to say when your brains damaged and you forget things all the time." He growled before he could think. He swallowed and his eyes widened as he realized what he said.

"Damn, I'm sorry.... I didn't mean that Stuart. Christ, what's wrong with me?" He brought his palms up and rubbed his eyes in frustration. "I’ve been doing the same shit forever Stuart.... Sometimes it's a little hard to break some habits when I'm not thinking.... Like that." He sighed. He hugged himself into Stuart and buried his head into his shoulder. "Sorry Stu." He said muffled. He didn't mean to turn this into a pity party for himself.

Stuart's eyes widened. He was just trying to help. But he knew how his brain worked.... It was kinda easy for him to forget stuff.... Murdoc was a bit rancorous compared to him. He regretted what he said and looked down. Murdoc was the one to blame for his damaged brain.

He listened to his apology and before he could answer Murdoc approached. "That's okay, Muds.... I'm sorry" he whispered back to him and hugged him back. He didn't know what to say really. He placed a hand on his hair and another around his waist.

His words hurt him but he knew he didn't mean what he said. He kissed his head. "Take as long as you need...." he whispered lowly. "At least I don't forget what you mean to me.... And how much I love you." he said a bit hurt and giggled even not being funny.

Murdoc’s chest tightened as he heard Stuart say that. His grip around Stuart tightened and he pushed his face into him more. "Christ Stuart, I'm so sorry. You know my anger gets the best of me sometimes.... I've been trying to be better, you know? I know you were trying to help, I didn't mean anything."

He lifted his head and put both hands on Stuart's cheeks and kissed him softly. He put his forehead against his and closed his eyes. "What's wrong with me Stu? Why can't I let that stuff go, you know? Why do I let it dictate so much of my life still?" He closed his eyes tighter, frustrated.

"I’ve got you.... That's all that matters now. This band, Noodle, Russ are all second compared to you. I'm so sorry for snapping, please.... " he whispered. He felt horrible.

"It's not even that I want more now really. I just want to stop being haunted by my past.... I really just want it to stop. I don't want to be so angry, I don't want to be hurt by it. It's the bloody past, you know? It can't hurt me anymore, right?"

Stuart noticed he was clearly panicking now it was time to hear him and be slows or Murdoc would be really desperate. He looked at him with the softest face he could make.

He placed a hand on his cheek and the other he run through his hair really slowly. He made Murdoc look into his eyes. "That's okay Muds, I forgive you." He whispered. He cupped his face with both hands

"You are doing better. You are a better person, understand?" He said reassuringly with no hint of hesitation in his voice "nothing is wrong with you, overcoming is a process. Its normal to feel helpless sometimes." He said softly rubbing his thumbs against his cheeks.

He kissed his forehead gently "I'm here. With you. Your past can't hurt you anymore." He ran a hand through his hair again "I’ll help you. Focus on me...." he looked into his eyes. "I love you Mu’doc. I’ll heal you." He promised. "I said I'd be different from all the other people in your life.... And I'm keeping this promise" he smiled hoping he could calm Murdoc down.

Murdoc was breathing a little faster, trying not to panic when Stuart held his face. He gulped and nodded as Stuart talked to him. Feeling a little better as he listened.

"I trust you.... I love you Stuart...." he whispered as he kissed him again, gently. He then put his head into the crook of Stuart's neck and waiting for a little bit to calm down. He didn't know why episodes like this happened and he really wished they would stop. He felt helpless and like an ass each and every time he did.

He hugged Stuart tighter. "I'm sorry. Thank you Stuart. I don't know what I'd do without you...." he whispered, kissing his neck. He peppered gentle little kisses up and down his neck.

Stuart smiled. "I dunno what I would do without you either Muds......" he whispered to him back lowly into his ear. He tilted his head so Murdoc could kiss him.

He noticed how those episodes were turning into something frequent. But he didn't know what was the trigger tho. The best he could do was try to calm him down.

He kissed his hair smiling "are you feeling better love....?" He asked softly. "Is there anything else you wanna tell me....?" He offered with the same sweet smile whispering into his ear.

Murdoc shook his head. "No.... I'm sorry. I'm honestly a little embarrassed. I just want to put it behind me, yeah?" He gave him another tight hug, taking a deep breath while also taking in his scent. Stuart always knew how to calm him down.

He looked down at the little pool of creatures while leaning against Stuart. "I love you Stuart. I really do.... You do believe me right?" He asked softly. He swallowed the lump in his throat. He still couldn't believe he was this fucking lucky to get someone this patient with him.

"Don't you ever get tired of me?" He asked in a hushed whisper. He was always curious but never could ask. He was afraid of the answer.

Stuart carefully held him close noticing the hint of desperation in his voice. He smiled softly "no need to be embarrassed, love...." he whispered softly.

"I do believe you, Muds.... Of course..." he rubbed his back carefully "I know you love me.... And this is the best thing that ever happened to me...." he smiled

He cupped his face again making Murdoc face him "Hey.... How could I get tired of the love of my life, huh?" He said softly rubbing his nose against his. He had all the patience in the world for his mood swings. "Never, Muds. I promise.... You believe me?" He whispered. Again there were only the two of them in whole world.

Murdoc chuckled and smiled to the nose rub. "Thank you Stuart. I do believe you. I know you're not lying cause you're a bad liar." He kissed him again and hugged him tight. "You're the love of my life." He said softly.

After a few moments, he pulled away slightly. "Did you want to take a few pics of the water pool? Then if you want, maybe some of us? Then let’s go grab something to eat, yeah? I think there's a shack down the beach a little farther we can eat at." He smiled and brushed some of Stuart's hair back behind his ear.

Stuart nodded "id love to...." he said softly grabbing the camera. He pointed it to the pool "those creatures are adorable...." he said absentmindedly.

He took photos of the octopus, the jellyfish crabs fishes and some shells. He tried to be careful but he scared the little cephalopod and he painted everything black while trying to escape.

His smiled faded seeing the whole pool black. He sighed "Sorry Muds.... I think I messed up again ...." he chuckled nervously "still want selfies with me....?" He asked offering him the camera. He was better doing that than him. He blushed red hoping Murdoc wouldn't be mad with him. "I'm just too clumsy sorry...." he mumbled looking down.

Murdoc chuckled and grabbed the camera, already feeling better. "Sure, come here." He said, pulling Stuart towards him. He kissed his cheek as he held the camera out and clicked it. He hoped his hair was still good from Stuart putting it up.

He then looked at the camera and stuck his tongue out playfully, taking another photo. He then did a few more with some silly poses. When they were done he handed the camera to Stuart. "How do these look?" He asked. He would look himself, wasn't sure how.

Stuart was surprised how he did all that so spontaneously. Murdoc was really born to be in front of a camera. He smiled grabbing the camera and seeing the result of the photos.

"They looked amazing, love...." he said smiling at them. He looked at Murdoc smirking. He decided to take a photo himself. He pulled him By hid collar and kissed him deep and needy while he took the photo. He shoved his tongue into his mouth. It wasn't his best but it was definitely a passionate photo. He wanted to show Murdoc he really loved him even if they were alone.

He blushed offering the camera "see if this one is good...." he chuckled. It should be shit but he didn't mind. He would love to see those photos in the future. His old self seeing his young self totally in love with Murdoc.

Murdoc eyes widened as the singer pulled him in for a kiss, a really deep kiss. He blushed a bit as Stuart took the camera. He was still not used to Stuart being very bold. He played with his tongue and smiled when he pulled away.

He looked at the camera. It was a hot photo. He always loved Stuart on camera, he was a real treat. He smiled and pushed the button to look back, he knew how to do that much. Then he came to the video from last night and smiled wide, a little devious. He started it right where he started fucking him. He turned up the volume, pressing play. Stuart's desperate moans came from the camera.

"Damn Stu. That's delicious. You moan like a little whore when you're desperate to get fucked." He chuckled.

Stuart blushed deep red and flinched at the video. He knew Murdoc was back to his old self. It was a relieve he was a prick again. He smiled embarrassed. "If you think I'm moaning like crazy you should see yourself... " he pointed to the video playing " Me? I'm nothing compared to your rough voice going thin begging for me...." he laughed and paused the video. " And I know how my angelic voice begging for my husband's cock is delicious....what can I do if he's a bloody tease....?" he teased mimicking the noises he was making in the video to make Murdoc laugh. He thanked god they were alone and no one heard him screaming that way. He couldn't remember much as he was drunk.... But he wouldn’t let Murdoc know.

He looked at him "I challenge you to.... Do the same while we make love.... Or better let me do it...... You need to hear how sappy you sound when you're deeply in love shagging me slowly and passionately...." he laughed even louder. He couldn't believe how desperate he sounded in the video.... Murdoc wouldn't believe the things he told Stuart and how sincere they sound if the singer made a tape of them making love. Stuart was embarrassed with his moans of course. But if Murdoc wanted to play this game he would play too.

Murdoc clenched his jaw, embarrassed at his comments. "No I don't! I don't moan like that, or worse than that...... Do I?" He pouted. He didn't think he was that bad at all. Maybe some moans here or there, but to be begging like that? When Stuart made the little noises he blushed and bit his lip.

"W-wait.... Do the same for what? I don't think you'll ever get me on tape sounding like that, Stu. Just saying. It's gonna be you, each and every time." He teased, "But that's a good try." He said standing up and helping Stuart up. Then he started walking to the shack with food.

He laughed, "What would you do if our videos went public on accident?" He was curious since it was a different side of them entirely, something that’s intimate.... He grabbed Stuart's hand to hold.

Stuart shrugged "Well only I know...." he laughed. Of course, he was exaggerating a bit, but he wouldn’t let Murdoc win in this game. "But I like the needy you, that's for sure." he smiled. He thought about hiding a camera next time they made love or Stuart topped him so Murdoc would have a chance to hear himself and swallow his words....

He heard his question while walking "I dunno Muds.... Probably if you put it in public not telling me I'd be really mad, feeling betrayed and embarrassed y’know? Cuz I really wanted this to be something our...... And not for people to evaluate and mock or sensationalize.... Both me and you." he said seriously "As the camera is mine, accidents wouldn’t happen,,.... Only me and you know the existence of this tape...... So.... It would be either me or you to put in the internet" he shrugged "I really didn’t want this public, Muds." he said biting his lip.

He knew Murdoc wouldn’t care if it was public or not.... He was a sex god. But Stuart had boundaries about his intimate life.... And the comments could be a lot more harsh about him and Murdoc...... He shook his head thinking about those bad things. "What would you do?" he tried to change the topic.

Murdoc scoffed, "Of course I wouldn't do that on purpose, I'm just asking. I figured you wouldn't want it public, just thought I'd see how you felt if it did get out, you know, worse case scenario and all that."

"What would I do? Well I'd work to bloody get it down.... If it's me topping, I don't want anyone hearing your moans, they're all mine. If you're topping, well that'd be embarrassing for me cause apparently I scream like a whore." He laughed.

"In all seriousness though, I would want it taken down. You're mine and I'm yours and what we do in the bedrooms is our own thing." He said. He really meant that too. He's never done these sort of things with others, not to this degree of intimacy. He wanted that kept private.

Stuart nodded. It was just a scenario in the end. He sighed in relieve. He actually trusted a lot Murdoc.... But things could happen the worse way.

He blushed when he said he was his. He loved hearing that. Specially when it wasn't in a lewd way. Murdoc was really possessive and Stuart didn't care about it really. He always wanted someone to be possessive and really like him. Murdoc showed him each time how much he loved him truly. "Well you scream and beg a lot.... But that's really a turn on cuz I know you're all mine.... Only I can hear the sweet sounds you make." He purred lowly to him with a large smirk.

"Good Muds.... Will be only our video.... For us to watch and laugh afterwards...." He chuckled "I really hope I did well to please you...." He said seriously. "I love to top you but I have to agree that bottoming to you was my wet dream and each time it gets better...." He blushed confessing. "Hope you never get tired of me.... Or of sex...." He mumbled quietly.

That's was one of his deepest fears. Murdoc tired of him on the bed and choosing another person over him. He being replaced. He knew how he was about sex.... Murdoc needed a good shag. And all the singer wanted was to please him any way possible.

He was really hurt about Paula's words that he would be cheated on like she cheated on him as he was nothing. He felt powerless like any other person could take Murdoc away just cuz of a good performance in bed.

 He looked down. Should he tell him what she said? Or he really didn't want to know? He bit his lip nervous overthinking again. He knew he should talk to someone about his fears.... But he was terrifies Murdoc would get mad he was taking seriously what that whore was saying about them.

Murdoc chuckled, "I don't think I’ll be laughing when I see the rest of that video. There's nothing I love more than someone begging for me, Stu. And to do it so.... Perfect. Your moans are gorgeous because they practically sing to me." He needed to stop before he got a hard on.

He noticed Stuart got sort of quiet after asking that question, as they walked along. "Why do you think I would ever get tired of you or our sex life? I think we are pretty compatible. Don't you think so? I haven't gotten bored yet and I’ve never been with someone this long. Even my dominatrix from a long time ago I wasn't with this long. You let me do what I want and also give me what I need, you know? No one's ever been that flexible with me Stu." He said, smiling and squeezing his hand gently.

Stuart blushed again. He was complimenting him too much. "Maybe laugh wasn't the right term...." He chuckled nervously. "You call me Bluebird right? I need to sing...."

"I-I think are really compatible Muds.... It's just...." He sighed "I wanted to have you for so long that I'm terrified you'd leave me sometime and I’d go back to my old life...." He finally admitted " I'm up to .... Anything for you really.... In sex and in life.... Flexible right?" He looked at him

"but the message Paula sent me kinda.... Hurt me, y'know? Not that I think she's right or anything.... Of course not.... But I dated her long ago and I think she still knows where to push to hurt me." He started to panic when he thought Murdoc would be mad with him bringing Paula's business up. The hand he was holding shivered. "I'm sorry.... I'm just scared and shaken. I was expecting comments but not a proper message." He mumbled looking to another direction. "I haven't heard from him since we broke up."

Murdoc stopped when he noticed Stuart's hand. "What'd she say? I thought she didn't say anything really? And Stuart, I don't want you thinking you have to do anything you're uncomfortable with when it comes to sex. I think you should try but if you absolutely hate it, don't, you know? That's why we have hard limits and everything. I don't expect you to like everything I do." He said seriously. He was worried Stuart was going to start panicking.

He brought his hand up and held it close. "Hey, it's okay. Just tell me will ya?" He smiled softly to him, trying to reassure him. He needed to know what that bitch said.

Stuart tried to calm down and took a deep breath looking at him. He swallowed and smiled, pale.

"First of all sorry not telling you before .... You were upset and I didn’t want to bother.... So I told you it was nothing." he sighed "She....said she was much happier with another guy.... That she never thought the two guys she shagged would end up together as fags.... She asked why fucking a woman if we prefer man...  She humiliated me saying how I was stupid in my decision to marry my abuser and telling you would cheat on me just like she did with you, Muds" he felt his eyes stung with tears "cuz I'm not worth so any person who would be with me will cheat on me.... Cuz I'm stupid naive.... I’m not good in bed...  Clumsy idiot to slow to notice.... And all that." He whispered the last part.

"She said more a couple of things but.... You already got the idea...." He looked at him with his eyes shining "I know she was just bitching and I don't believe her.... But it hurt."

Murdoc swallowed and listened as he talked.  He was getting angrier and angrier as he told him what she said. When he finished, Murdoc growled, pissed off completely. He didn't really care about the part where she called them fags, it was the other parts that bothered him.

"What a slag......" he spat, clenching his teeth. He could tell Stuart was upset over thinking Murdoc would cheat on him. He lifted a hand and caressed his face gently. He sighed and tried to calm down.

"Let’s start from the top, yeah? First I don't care what she thinks in terms of calling us fags and all that. But 2D, you're not stupid. You're a little slow to realize a few things and you forget other things but.... You're not stupid. You're bloody knowledgeable when it comes to philosophical things and sometimes you blow me away with the shit you say Stu...."

"I think you'd know if I was cheating on you first of all. Second.... Stuart, you and I have known each other forever now. Do you honestly think I would be with you and do all this stuff we've been doing if I just wanted to cheat on you? That's would be fucking stupid and a waist of my own time...." he rolled his eyes at the absurdity of the idea.

"You're wonderful in bed.... Stu I was excited when I gotta take your virginity." He winked. "Since then it's been a new experience for both of us ever since. Even if it was something I'd technically done before. Doing it with you is new and exciting. I'm not stuck as the bloody top or the bottom the entire time. It's not boring at all. You're surprisingly good at it actually." He thought back to when Stuart topped him and made him a sub. He smiled. "Surprisingly good...." he whispered, blushing slightly. Without realizing it.

Stuart noticed he was getting angrier and curled.... He regretted telling him the truth but he needed. He whispered "I'm sorry...." And looked down. He knew he was angry with Paula not him. But he was scared of him angry cuz of what he said.

He flinched when he put a hand on his face but soon relaxed hearing him. He nodded to him telling him he wasn't stupid. He bit his lip. He felt happier Murdoc didn't find him stupid.

"No Muds.... I don't think you want to chat on me.... Never and if you did.... Well.... I would have to accept right?" He shrugged. "What she said didn't make sense.... Probably she's just jealous we're happy...."

He looked at him "I.... Wanted you to take it." He confessed "I.... Wasn't lying when I told you I was virgin.... I fantasized my first time with you...." He blushed hard. "Sometimes I was about to .... Give up you know and .... Go to a random person to bed.... Cuz I thought I'd never have a chance with you...." He blushed even more " and I wouldn't regret even if it was just one time thing.... You were gentle with me.... I wouldn’t forget if we did it just once." He was being really honest " And topping you is .... Amazing really, Muds...." He giggled "I know I tease you for that and all.... But I love it.... You were the first guy I could top...." He kissed his cheek seeing him blushing.

Murdoc smiled wide hearing his giggle, "No regrets here and you have none. I think we're okay Stu. The fact that she would try to do that with you was ridiculously low.... Even for that cunt...." he growled again, but his face softened when he looked back at Stuart. He started walking to the food shack up ahead again.

"I'm glad I was the one to take it. I'm honored really. You're a cute kid, I'm surprised more people didn't try." He was grateful they didn't though." How come you never tried being with a guy? I mean, I know your history, but you did have a small window there before you met me where you could have dated a guy instead of that slag Paula right? Didn't you ever want to experiment?" He asked.

Stuart looked down thinking for a moment. Paula was really low.... Even lower than Murdoc would be with her back if he had a chance to reply to her he knew it. She wanted a lot to ruin his relationship and happiness. Thank god they sorted things out.

"Muds.... I..." He swallowed "i was scared to ask any guy out." He admitted "with Paula it was easier if we fight and.... She wouldn't be really threatening me like other guys would try to. It was easier getting rid of her than a guy.... I thought back then she was.... More harmless than a guy.... And well I thought I could lime her and unfall in love with you." He looked at him "if I appeared with a guy dating me to you in Kong...... I think you'd be mad with me or something.... We used to shag there remember? You were jealous and I knew that... You'd get into a fight with the lad for sure.... You and Paula bickered all the time" He giggled

"I wanted something serious and the guys who tried something with me wanted a quick fuck and to fool around, or to brag they slept with me.... No one knew me like you did... I was too serious and romantic to that.... So.... I didn't go further.... I didn't allow me to fall on love with them.... As I was in love with you already." He blushed. "Paula accepted to date so I thought it could work y'know?"

He truth was that Stuart couldn't have another guy thinking about Murdoc. At least Paula was a girl.... So she would remember a lot less Murdoc physically speaking. But she was rude, cruel, dressed as Murdoc, drank a lot cursed and was bossy.... Just like Murdoc was with him. He unconsciously tried to look for someone who reminded him of Murdoc since he couldn't have him. It was stupid but he was desperate. Of course He wouldn't tell this Murdoc but he would have already noticed how she behaved....

That's why she should have looked for Murdoc. She wanted the bad boy as much as Stuart wanted too. But if he had a bad boy.... Things could have ended really bad if he didn't accept a break up. And that was what Stuart was scared of

Murdoc nodded, understanding where he was coming from. He smirked, "You think I would have fought your date if he was guy instead of Paula? I suppose it would depend what was going on. The main reason I fought Paula was cause she kept trying to take over the band. Honestly if you were just shagging some guy.... Well.... I might have been a little jealous.... I didn't think you were gay."

Murdoc couldn't believe the kid held in his love for him for so long. "So.... Did you ever jerk off thinking of me? You finger yourself?" He chuckled. He liked the idea, maybe he'd make Stuart do just that at some point down the road.

Stuart shrugged. He really thought Murdoc would be aggressive with a guy back them cuz of jealousy...... With all that story of "my singer" and "my band". He never bought the idea that Murdoc was defending just the band with nails and teeth. It had something to do with him and the way he was so possessive with him but he didn't want to bother Murdoc.

He blushed "Yeah.... I already told you that, Muds...." He giggled "I jerked off, but fingers I don't think so...." He looked up thinking "sometimes I was high Muds.... On my pills.... And my mind wandered to many places.... And then at some point my subconscious found you.... And I got an instantaneous boner...." He confessed "if I ever fingered myself was thinking it was you doing it.... Y'know? Now I may tell you I did this pretty often during the hiatus...." He looked at him "once I decided not to be high on pills cuz it was turning into a habit.... So I decided to be drunk.... Alone in my room. That night I almost stumbled into the Winnie drunk of my arse begging for you...." He chuckled. He was desperate but the fear of rejection and some self respect was even bigger.

 In the other hand he didn't know what would have happened if the roles were inverted.... Murdoc horny with a hard on breaking into his room in the middle of the night drunk as skunk wanting him. Would he allow him to make a move or prevent? He bit his lip thinking. If he was drugged, probably he would have allowed him.

"Did you ever jerked off thinking of me or something, love....?" He tried to avoid those thoughts.... When he helped Murdoc up when he passed out or was too wasted to anything, the Satanist never tried any sexual movement or took advantages of him, no matter how much he was intoxicated. He was kind of respectful with Stuart. He was already expecting a no. It wouldn't be a surprise. Maybe Murdoc had already shagged other guys thinking about the singer.... Who knows?

Murdoc smiled, "I know, but I always love to hear you say you used to wank it to me." He chuckled. "Really now? You really never fingered yourself? Why? Weren't you the least bit curious what it'd be like to have your ass played with? " he couldn't even remember the first time he'd tried himself, but he liked it, a lot.

"Also if you'd ever come into my Winnie offering to suck my dick, I don't think I would have ever stopped you Stu. Really. Why would I? I had thought about fucking you a few times.... Mainly because I was curious what all the fuss was about and I thought it'd be humiliating for you when you woke up the next day having had taken one in the ass the night before...." he said. It was true.

He froze, remembering something. It came back in fragments and his eyes widened as it slowly came back. "Shit.... You know what? I did fuck you one time, o-or I thought I did. I can't believe I didn't remember till now. I was blitzed, you know? And I had grabbed some bloke that looked like you after a show.... If I remember correctly.... You had pissed me off because you and I had wrote Sound Check together, which I had thoroughly enjoyed, you know? Then, on the stage in front of everyone, you dedicated that song to that Rachael chick you were with and told her you wrote it all for her!" He grumbled.

"Everyone thought you were just so bloody romantic. I got really drunk after the show, pissed and drunk. I saw a fan of yours with fake blue hair and he was actually tall and skinny, black contacts. Thought it was you, actually that's how drunk I was. Charmed him, took him back and fucked his brains out. Thought I could embarrass the hell out of you for being my little bitch, took a video and everything. Next morning I woke up with the worst headache ever and nearly had a heart attack when I thought I saw you. Found out it was that guy, kicked him out and never thought about it again...." he wasn't going to mention how he'd been a little disappointed it wasn't Stuart, now that he wanked to that video from time to time.

Stuart looked at him "cuz I wanted it to be you.... Like all virginities.... You took...." He confessed blushing and frowning. He sounded really honest but totally embarrassed. It was so stupid preserving himself all to Murdoc. "So when I fingered I did it high.... I could barely remember afterwards...." He shrugged was the truth. He actually never had come with just stimulating his prostate. Murdoc was the first one who made it.... Buy he wouldn't tell him.

He knew he wouldn't try to stop him. Even drugged and outta his mind Murdoc wouldn't deny sex. Stuart probably would is Murdoc was drunk... He didn't like feeling used. In the end Stuart was thankful he didn't go to his Winnie that day. Even if he wanted Murdoc a lot. It wouldn't have ended up well.

Stuart heard this story...  He didn't remember much of it, probably drugged or drunk.... Now he was noticing how many memories he had lost cuz he was too high to remember. Good and bad ones. "Holy fuck Rachel...." his eyes widened "that red head." He placed a hand on his face giggling "Mu’doc she was a lie.... " he laughed "I did that to piss you off I just didn't know you used a fake me so pissed you were!"   He laughed even more "I just kissed her once or twice... It wasn’t serious and I knew you didn't like her...  She wasn’t even hearing when I dedicated the song for her...  She was too drunk God knew where...." He looked at Murdoc "I'm sorry for that Muds. . It was childish it was our song and I shouldn't have done that...." he shook his head and kissed his cheek.

"Thank god you didn't insist in the fake 2D huh?" He teased "would be comic if I found someone looking like me going out your Winnie in the morning... " it would be really ridiculous and Stuart would have mocked him for life for looking to someone like him to shag. Maybe it would tell him something. "I’ll make up to you about the song." He winked.

Murdoc nodded. "Well, I know what I'm having you do next time......" he chuckled. They entered into the little shack and got in line to order some food to go.

"Ohohoho, I was super pissed Stu. To dedicate a song you and I wrote to a bloody bird that had nothing to do with it?" He scoffed. "You better be sorry.... I really liked that song. The bass line was killer, especially mixed with your yelly voice.... How do you plan on making it up to me?" he said, smiling.

He shrugged "I dunno.... I did that to provoke you.... Rachel was another whore.... I am sorry." He felt embarrassed he did that. He was trying to catch him attention since the very beginning he could tell.

"I really like that song too Muds.... You can ask for what you want from me to make up ..." He offered gently in the end He screwed things that night. "I didn't know songs or who I dedicate them too could hurt you this much... " he smiled to him softly.

Stuart wanted Murdoc to have gone to him that night...... Even if it was to tell and curse at him drink my about what he did.

Murdoc shrugged, "Could you imagine if I had actually grabbed you instead?" He got them two sandwiches to go and started heading back. He looked at the sun. They had a few hours before it was sunset, giving them enough time to walk back, eat and make love at sunset. He smiled.

"Alright, I’ll let you know what you can do when I think of it." He said. He then grabbed his hand again. "Maybe it was good it wasn't you though. I don't think it would have been a good first time. I was pretty rough on that kid. When I went back and watched the tapes...." he whistled. "That was a rough hate fuck. I don't think you would have wanted to do it with me after that." He said.

Stuart followed him thinking about the situation. "Well, you were pissed.... I can imagine how rough you were...." he looked down probably he would be traumatized for life and wouldn’t look to Murdoc same way afterwards scared. Pissed horny and drunk he wouldn’t stop even if Stuart begged him to.

He looked at the sky. It was beautiful. In no time it would be sunset. He narrowed his eyes trying to remember what he did that night while Murdoc was shagging the other fake version of him. "Well I think that night I.... Went back to Rachel after the show but i found out she had already another guy......" he shook his head. He caught her kissing another person.

"I was so high that hour that I didn’t even care if she cheated on me or wasn’t with me anymore.... I was already expecting it.... Probably she doesn’t even know I dedicated that song to her.... So I headed home and locked myself into my room.... The rest you probably know...." he moved his hand up and down simulating a wanker. "And passed away high...." he chuckled.

Murdoc chuckled at his motion. He kept thinking about the kid jerking off to him, he was starting to get a small hard on, getting a little more excited for tonight. He couldn't wait, he even walked just a tiny bit faster.

"Well, I have that video in my Winnie, and it's been a while, I'm curious just how close that guy was to actually fucking you. I know for sure he didn't have your beautiful moans. By the way, I want you as loud as possible tonight. I didn't rent a goddamn private beach for you to be silent, got it?" He smirked.

Stuart smiled to him. He wasn’t really interested in seeing Murdoc fucking another guy, specially if it remembered him so his smile faded a bit. "No problem, Muds. I’ll do my best...." he stuck his tongue out on the way home following Murdoc that was a bit faster for some reason. "Wanna watch a movie and cuddle afterwards?" he asked softly. He just wanted to be close and really passionate with Murdoc that night.

Murdoc shrugged, "If you want! When we were in the shack I saw a flyer that had something about a club part going on tonight." He looked back at Stu and wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling Stuart close.

"You wanna dance with me tonight Stu?" He rolled his hips into the singer and licked his lips. "Or will you be too worn out?" He teased. He didn't mind the idea of watching a movie with him but dancing like that where no one knew who they were sounded amazing to him.

"A club?" He smiled "sounds good to me, Muds.... Maybe should be something interesting for us to do as a couple huh....?" He looked at him giggling "of course I want to dance with my husband...." he grabbed his hand and made him turn around himself hugging him afterward tight.

His mouth was inched away from his "let's see if you'll worn me out......" he teased and licked Murdoc’s lips pressing him close by his hips, taking his glasses off. There was no sun anymore. He also untied his hair so he was back to his normal self.

He was afraid of that people that "attacked" him before.... But maybe a bit of fun was interesting for both man.... He just hoped He wasn't interested in drinking a lot.

Murdoc smirked and growled seductively as he pressed against him, biting his own lip. "This will be fun Stu, I promise." He said, unwrapping himself from Stuart, making sure to hold his hand tight. He started walking back to the house again.

When they finally got back, he laid the giant blanket from the backpack out on the beach for them to lay on and eat. He pulled out the sandwiches after sitting down, facing the water, and handed Stuart his. The sun had maybe less than an hour before it broke the plane of the horizon. Murdoc was getting nervous and excited. This would be the first time they fucked fully outside and making love meant slower and more sensual. He hoped he'd be okay.

Stuart grabbed his sandwich smiling and sat down next to him. He smiled and pulled his legs to his chest holding them.  "It’s beautiful innit....?" He whispered biting the sandwich and looking at the horizon.

"Have you ever imagined us both in a place like this....?" He looked at him resting his head on the top of his knees. He looked at his ring "engaged....? And happy....?" His eyes reflected the colors of the sky.

Murdoc laughed, nearly choking on his sandwich. "Really Stu? You think Murdoc Niccals ever thought or even slightly imagined having a boyfriend, let alone getting married? I never even imagined I'd live this long half the time...." he said, taking another bite and looking at how wonderful Stuart looked in the low orangeish colors coming from the nearly beginning sunset.

"But I'm happy it happened. You should be pretty proud of yourself kid. You got the one and only successful Niccals to actually settle down. It took a lot to do that, but you're amazing so it's not surprising right?" He smiled fondly at him.

Stuart smirked "I have the man I love, Muds.... That's fine for me...." he giggled. "I would do the same again to have you...... No matter how many times I had to fight to have you.... And i really hope you live long so we can celebrate many weddings anniversaries...." he booped his nose

 "I know that...... If things didn't happened the way they did.... We would end up together...." he looked at him "you would use the old Murdoc’s charm to seduce me...." he took another bite "I dunno what big Murdoc Niccals saw in me to stay.... A simple clumsy weird looking singer from Crawley...." he giggled. "I thought you were pickier about relationships.... For your high standards...." he looked to the sky again....  Rambling.

Murdoc smiled and finished his sandwich, taking a giant drink of water to wash his mouth out a bit. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'd always end up with you huh? Kinda like fate, yeah?" He asked, going to his bag and grabbing his lube and placing it next to him for easy access.

He looked at Stu at his last comment. "When the bloody hell did I ever come off as picky? Or with high standards?" He laughed. "I'm the most non picky person there is, at least when it comes to sex. I didn't have standards for a relationship because I never had one and never wanted to have one.... Till you."

He crawled closer to Stu, smiling fondly. When he got closer, he kissed him deeply, his hand coming up to his hair and his other hand on his thigh. He needed to remind himself to go slower.

Stuart's brows rose with that kiss. He wasn't expecting it. He kissed him back cupping his face with both hands. He reminded himself to be slow as well.

He slowly laid Murdoc down kissing him slowly savoring him. He tasted like sandwich but he didn't mind. After all that talking he finally noticed how he was turned on and wanted Murdoc. He leaned closer him deepening the kiss. One of his hands went to his hips pulling him close.

Murdoc chuckled into the kiss, noticing how the kid was laying him down instead of the other way around. He kissed him back, just savoring the moment, his hands were around Stuart's neck, with small moans escaping him as he pressed their hips together. He was already too hard to be comfortable in clothe anymore. He'd been waiting for this all day.

He brought one of his hands up to run in Stuart's hair. Whenever he got a quick breath, he whispered, "I love you." He loved when they intertwined their bodies, it was lovely to be so connected. He didn't know where one started and another ended.

Stuart smiled to him answering every now and them his "I love yous" he looked into his eyes from time to time to make it meaningful and passionate. He was too hard too to be comfortable. But he would be slow as Murdoc wanted. He ignored the discomfort and went ahead focusing in please Murdoc.

He grabbed his hands interviewing his fingers. He squeezed it gently "love.... May I take your clothes off... Please.?" He whispered slowly into his ear. "I want to touch you......" he said honestly with all the love he had. He didn't say in a teasing way. He rubbed his nose against his.... "Please.... I want you to make me yours...."

Murdoc smiled, "Christ, I thought you'd never ask. Yes please." He said eagerly. "You can touch me all you want Stu. I'm yours...." he gave him a charming smile and a wink. "I’ll make you mine all night if I have to...." he said, almost a little shaky. He was ready to be touched. He swallowed.

Stuart chuckled. He liked when Murdoc was that hard and needy wanting him. He slowly took his shorts off and his shirt. Soon he stopped to look at him smiling "sometimes I can't believe you're really all mine Muds...." he said lowly going to kiss his neck.

He kissed him tenderly and softly not to mark him. He savored the Satanist hearing his sweet moans and sounds. His hand went to his cock slowly stroking him. He wanted to tease Murdoc but he stood still with his clothes focusing only on his fiancée.

"You're so gorgeous Muds.... I'm so lucky to have you...." he whispered into his ear "I love you so much.... So much......" he nibbled his ear leaning closer and pressing his body against Murdoc. He moaned lowly into his ear when his boner touched him. "In yours.... I'm this hard cuz of you......" he said breathlessly

Murdoc grunted and started moaning as Stuart began stroking him. "Oh fuck Stu...." his hands came to Stuart's arms, gripping him gently but firmly. Stuart's hands felt so good, he almost wished it could have been harder.

When Stuart pressed against him and moaned in his ear, he bit his lip. His moans were so beautiful, he could probably cum just listening to his moans. He looked at Stuart, his eyes half lidded with his love filled gaze. He smiled. "You're mine Bluebird...." he whispered.

"Only yours...." he whispered back smiling. Soon he took off his shirt and got rid from his shorts as well. They were both naked while the sun was slowly going away. They looked like a beautiful painting for someone to admire.  Two lovebirds totally in sync.

Soon he went back to his lips kissing him sloppily and deeply. He grabbed both erections together stroking them. "Fuck..." he whispered and shivered. He couldn't deny how much he wanted this. "I'm so.... In love with you......" he said fondly looking into his eyes. "I’ll marry you...." he giggled and moaned again into his ear when he stroked a bit harder. His other hand run his fingers through his hair.

Murdoc arched his back a bit, bucking his hips into his hands. "Oh yes...... Stu...." he swallowed, breathing harder. This felt amazing. When the hell did he end up on the bottom though? He needed to take charge or he was going to be a boneless, moaning mess under Stuart. He was supposed to be making Stuart his right?

He mustered all the strength he could manage and put his hands on either side of Stuart's shoulders and flipped him around so Murdoc was straddling Stuart's thighs so their cocks were rubbing together still. He smiled down at him, breathing hard. "You're mine." He growled.

Stuart happily let him turn the table around. He smiled and lifted his hips up to rub their cocks a bit more. He moaned a bit louder and kissed Murdoc cupping his face with one hand the other hand he placed on his hip pulling his close.

 "Please.... Make me yours...." he whispered breathlessly. "I.... Need you......" he whispered. "For the rest of my life...... Please...." he kissed his forehead gently.

Murdoc chuckled and kissed him passionately, his hand reaching over to grab the lube. He applied a little to his fingers and brought them down to between Stuart's legs. He had him spread them wide and he put his fingers against his entrance, rubbing around ot in a teasing manner. While doing this he kissed him fondly the entire time.

He pulled away slightly. "You're mine forever." He whispered as he pushed two fingers into him slowly. He went back to kissing him gently as he slid his fingers in and out slowly.

Stuart arched his back thinking he would finger him. Now he noticed how he was eager for it. He heard his words and moaned louder when Murdoc finally fingered him. He grabbed him by his shoulders squeezing them and bit his lip opening his legs even wider. His hips moved involuntarily up and down.

 "Yes......" he whispered "forever.... My Mu’doc..." he said after breaking the kiss. His breath was unsteady and his eyes fluttered shut. His mouth hanged open and his lips red from the kissing. "P-please.... More......" he whispered. He wanted anything more touches, kisses, moaning.... He needed Murdoc. He shivered when he touched his sweet spot and his cock twitched.

Murdoc continued to finger him slowly, slipping in a third finger. He laid himself partially next to Stuart so he could bring up his other hand. He pet his hair back and looked over Stuart with a love he never felt before.

"Look at you, all needy.... I need to stretch you out so you can take me...." he chuckled. "You look so fucking beautiful in this sunset light. You're gorgeous Stuart...." he whispered and kissed his jaw up and down it. Then he kissed down his neck.

"You're mine Stuart. Forever." He whispered as he continued sliding his fingers in and out, a little faster now. "I wanna be one with you Stuart, would you want that? Under the stars while the sun sets behind us?" He asked softly. He looked back at the setting sun over the ocean. The sky was orange, purple, red. It was beautiful.

Stuart swallowed hearing his words.... "Please...." His eyes watered "there's nothing I want more...." the way he spoke to him made him feel in a way he never felt before. His heart was racing so fast. Murdoc looked incredible lightened by only the lights of sunset.

He moaned louder noticing Murdoc going faster. "Please.... Please be one with me...... I don't...... I can't go on without you.... You're my life Mu’doc...." he swallowed again looking into his eyes.

In a sweet moment he grabbed his free hand and kissed it gently holding back moans. He placed it on his chest "All cuz of you Muds......" he smiled "each beat.... Is cuz of you...." he whispered breathlessly than arches his back again when Murdoc hit a bit harder his sweet spot "fuck...." he bit his lip. He wouldn’t last longer that way.

Murdoc let out a shaky breath as Stuart held his hand against his chest and told him that. He swallowed, completely in love. "Fuck.... I love you Stuart." He got in between his legs and leaned over Stuart as he pulled his fingers out and lined himself up.

He looked into Stuart's eyes, "You're mine.... My love, my life, my fiancée, my husband......" he whispered. "Stuart Niccals.... How much do you want to be Mr. Stuart Niccals?" He smiled softly and brushed his hair back gently. "You're so fucking beautiful.... You're my beautiful singer...." he wanted to push into him so bad, but he wanted Stuart to answer him, partially teasing him and partially wanting to hear his answer.

"More than I want to keep singing......" he whispered looking into his eyes and blushing. "More than anything..." he swallowed again "please.... I always wanted to belong to you...." His voice sounded broken and needy, his eyes watered again. "belong to the man I love......" he caressed his face. "Mu’doc Niccals...." he said slowly his name touching his face.

"I love you more than I can put in words.... More than life itself.... I need to be yours.... Or I’ll lose myself...." he said honestly. "Please.... Make us one.... For all heavens to see..."  a single tear escaped one of his eyes. He was overwhelmed with emotions.

Murdoc smiled fondly and leaned down to kiss Stuart as he pushed into him slowly and started so slowly thrust in and out of him. His hand came up and rested in Stuart's hair, gently running his hand through it.

He pulled away and rest his forehead against Stuart's as he slowly thrusted in and out of him. "Fuck, I love you so much Stuart. We're one right now. One together, under the stars...." he whispered out in a shaky breath. It was difficult to go slow, but he also loved how intimate this felt.

Stuart moaned loudly when Murdoc pushed inside him. He bit his lip and closer his eyes. He felt the sweet touch of Murdoc on his hair and was totally in love.

He thought Murdoc would go faster but surprisingly he didn't. He was going slow and passionate. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he hugged Murdoc with his stupidly long legs.

He nodded to what he was saying and mumbled a muffled I love you too. He kissed his neck gently whispering how Murdoc felt good inside him and how he was happy they were one.

Murdoc couldn't even hear the ocean behind them or the seagulls cawing around in the trees, it was just him and Stuart right now. He continued to move slow, enjoying Stuart's little whispers and kisses. He could feel Stuart wrap his legs around him and he just smiled.

"You're mine...." he growled and moved down to Stuart's neck, biting him gently and making a hickey. He did it a few more times, making sure his neck was marked. "You're mine Bluebird." He whispered again, going back up to kissing him. He wasn't sure why he kept saying that but he just felt the need to. Stuart needed to know he'd do anything for him, even if it didn't come out that way.

Stuart was in a trance feeling Murdoc inside him. All he could do was moan incomprehensible things and pull Murdoc close by his hips so he could go the deepest inside him.

 "Only yours Muds... " he whispered tilting his head so Murdoc could mark him even more. His cock twitched again and he grabbed his head to kiss him again messing with his hair. "Oh God.... I love you...." he said breathlessly.

Murdoc chuckled and kissed him back, this was all still so odd for him when it came to sex. He was so used to usually going fast, going slow made him feel everything. It was a little overwhelming to be honest. He whined a little, stopping himself from going faster, although he did go slightly faster. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Fuck Stuart.... I love you so much...." he said breathlessly. "You're my everything." He whispered. "I wanna cum at the same time...." he said, reaching down to slowly stroke Stuart.

Stuart gasped when he was touched. His short nails scratched Murdoc’s back. He swore he could feel electricity going through the hair of his arm. He nodded "Muds... I won't be able.... To last long...." he warned opening his black orbs to look at him. "Oh fuck you're so beautiful, so mine...." he smiled and blushed.

 "I want you to cum inside me...." he whispered "please...." he squirmed feeling his orgasm on the way.

Murdoc nodded and kissed him again deeply as he thrusted in and out of him a couple more times. His hand kept stroking Stuart's cock. When he came he did a few final thrusts and moaned into Stuart's mouth, kissing him deeply. He kept stroking Stuart till he came.

He felt his orgasm roll over him intensely, he didn't notice anything else except that and Stuart. He was breathing hard and his  arms were shaking slightly. He kept kissing Stuart, his tongue playing with Stuarts.

Stuart came a little after Murdoc. He messed up their abdomens but felt amazing. He moaned against his lips and cried in pleasure. He felt in heaven. His whole body shivered and he closed his eyes.

He didn't know anything that was happening around them. He just focused on Murdoc. He opened his mouth allowing him to kiss him deeper, his legs still around his waist, trembling

After his orgasm finished, he practically collapsed onto Stuart's chest. He was breathing heavy, a giant smile on his face. His hand went to interlink with Stuart, holding him tight. Finally the sounds of the waves and everything else around them came back to his senses. He realized how it was getting increasingly dark around them and only the waves could be heard as everything else silenced itself.

He snuggled himself into Stuart smiling wide. "Christ, that felt amazing...." he whispered. "You feel amazing.... I love you so much Stuart...." he kissed his chest and looked up at him. He could only see him faintly.

Stuart chuckled and held him close. He opened his eyes and looked around only seeing darkness an all the stars above. He smiled.

He placed a hand on his hair "another day goes by .... And I had another chance to fall in love with you.... Again" he whispered and kissed his forehead squeezing his hand gently. His heart was beating so fast he swore Murdoc could hear it. He smiled softly with his eyes shining, visibly shaken. He never felt this in love ever before in his life.

He caressed his cheek "Muds... " he whispered looking at him. "Please be mine...... Forever...."

Murdoc pretended to think about it. "Hmm well...... Forever huh? That's a pretty long time...." he chuckled and kissed him passionately. "Of course I will be forever. You'll get sick of me about half way to forever." He laughed and laid his head back on his chest.

"You're the love of my life.... Of course I'm never leaving...." he whispered, running his hand over the side of his chest and down the rest of his side rill he got to his hip then ran it slowly back up. It was calming to touch Stuart....

Stuart giggled "half way to eternity huh?" He joked "sounds fine for me...." he run his fingers through his hair... It was soothing and calming. He loved his thick hair. He kissed the top of his head multiple times whispering he loved him.

"Let's...  Try always to reinvent ourselves so we will never get tired of each other right....?" He said lowly as a suggestion.

Murdoc laughed, "Oh yeah, I can definitely try...." he looked up at Stuart. He was quiet for a moment, just taking it all in. This was a beautiful night and a beautiful place to do this. He was happy they got the chance to make love at least once on this trip, because he was sure they'd be fucking each others brains out soon enough again.

Finally, he sighed contently and sat up a bit, smiling. "Wanna take a shower and go dance together? Have you ever seen me dance?" He asked, playing with Stuart's hair.

Stuart groaned in pain and sat down together with him. "Well the countless times I saw you dancing was when you came with El Diablo thrusting in my direction or the times we danced Stairway together......" he smiled to him. "Out of this I dunno...." he took the rest of his sandwich to eat "A shower sounds interesting.... Let's dance tonight Muds!" He said excitedly.

Murdoc laughed, "Oh yeah, but that's all a different kind of dancing. You've never seen me dance in a club have you? I have to be a bit drunk to loosen my hips, but yeah, it's a blast." He didn't mention that he also usually takes ecstasy or speed as well but he could forgo that tonight.

He got up slowly and helped Stuart up. "You okay walking?" He asked as he cleaned up everything else and put it all back in the backpack. He figured they could walk back to the house naked.

Stuart moved his hips. He was sore but not that much as Murdoc was gentle with him. "I'm okay, love.... Think I can join you dancing...." he smiled softly grabbing his hand "and what do you mean different kind of dancing Muds....?" He giggled walking with him back inside. Murdoc losing his hips sounded pretty sexual for Stuart. He bit his lip imagining.  "Think you never seen me dancing in a club.... Mostly cuz I don't usually dance...." he shrugged. Stuart knew he was too clumsily for that.

Murdoc smirked and, after taking the backpack off, he leaned back against Stuart's chest, his arm come up to gently hold onto the back of Stuart's neck, while his other came around and brought Stuart's other arm around his waist. His hand rested on Stuart's. He then started moving his hips back and forth, practically grinding on him.

"I'm sure if we got a drink or two in you, you's be loose, just let me." He chuckled. He then released himself from Stuart's grasp and walked to the shower, swinging his hips back and forth as he walked.

Stuart blushed mesmerized by the other man movements. He smiled and followed him. "I trust you...." he whispered pecking his lips.

Once inside the shower he turned the water on in a good temperature but didn't let Murdoc go. "So.... Is this your kind of dancing....?" He chuckled. "It's really.... Hot Muds.... I can tell you...." he wondered if Murdoc had ever danced with another person like that before.

Murdoc nodded and stuck his tongue out playfully. "Oh yeah, you know it is.... Only when I'm drunk and on molly usually, but I think I can easily do this now. Especially if you're the one I'm grinding on." He laughed and closed his eyes and pretended he was dancing to music, swinging his hips and running his hands down his body slowly, teasing the kid.

He looked at Stu, a devilish smile on his face. "I don't do it often, so consider yourself lucky." He laughed and winked.

Stuart chuckled "I'm lucky for a lot of reasons Muds...." he quickly pressed him against the cold wall of the shower pinning him against it. "I'm lucky I have you all for me...." he whispered into his ear and rolled his hips against him looking into his eyes. "Dancing or not you're all mine aren't you....?" He asked teasingly kissing his neck.

He wanted more than anything now dance with Murdoc all night.

Murdoc let out a small chuckle as Stuart pinned him. A small moan escaped him as Stuart rolled his hips into him, turning his head so Stuart could easily kiss him. "Oh yeah, I'm all yours...." he said breathlessly, biting his lip as a giant grin spread on his face.

He pushed back with his hips and actually ended up giggling a little, feeling a little giddy about the idea of dancing in public with Stuart. He clapped his hand over his mouth, surprised that giggle came out of his mouth.

Stuart stopped once he heard his small giggle. He blushed deeply and stopped kissing it.... It sounded...... Adorable. Murdoc Niccals had a adorable laughed. He bit his lip smiling fondly to him.

His heart beated faster and he let Murdoc go. "I think...... I'm really in love with you, Muds...." he whispered to him grabbing the shampoo to wash his hair. He wanted to chuckle too...  He was so adorable. He just smiled going to wash his hair.

Murdoc stared at him wide eyed, his hand keeping over his mouth as he waited to see what his reaction would be. He was a little worried when Stuart let him go. He wasn't sure why but he never let out a giggle like that before, he was sure Stuart might give him shit. He felt relief when he said he loved him. He smiled wide as Stuart washed his hair.

"Oh.... Really?" He chuckled. "Did my giggle make you realize that?" He kept his grin and closed his eyes as he felt Stuart run his fingers through his hair. He felt so loved.

Stuart smiled. He wouldn't mock Murdoc cuz of a giggle. "Kinda." He massaged his hair "you giggling is lovely, Muds.... I think I never heard you giggle like this before...." he whispered kissing his cheek.

"I know the way you laugh.... And a genuine laugh is something rare...." he said absentmindedly "You're giggling cuz you're in love...." he giggled too. "And I'm so happy it's with me...." he kissed his lips.

He kissed him back. "Of course it's for you and ONLY you. If you tell anyone I giggled I’ll kill you." He chuckled he took so soap himself and washed Stuart's hair. He liked how they were this intimate over such small things. He couldn't wait to dance with him, it should be fun.

"Okay okay.... I won't tell anyone I swear...." he raised his hands in surrender. He felt the sweet touch of Murdoc on his hair and smiled. He was really in love with him too. The singer leaned closer and kissed his lips sweetly. He was happy he had that giggle all to himself.

Murdoc kissed him back gently, and hugged Stuart. Then he pulled away and finished washing both of them. "Get ready to be amazed kid." He said as he shut the shower off and got him and Stu a towel to dry off. He was actually really excited, he was even contemplating what to wear exactly as he toweled off his hair.

Stuart grabbed the towel and accepted the kiss happily. "Amazed huh?" He mocked back. "I hope so" he was really curious about Murdoc’s skills in dancing. He went to his bag to pick some clothes "should I dress something fancy or....?" He didn't know how the club was as he haven't seeing the announcement Murdoc saw. And he didn't want to look undressed next to his fiancée.

Murdoc shook his head, "Nope! Jeans and a shirt should work. That's all I'm wearing at least. We should be good either way." He smiled and got dressed. He was wearing his usual black shirt with a pair of darker jeans and his boots.


	57. Molly

He called a cab so it'd be here soon and they could take off. He told himself he wouldn't drink tonight.... Or he would.... Maybe just a little. A little drink wouldn't hurt right? He had the taxi so he could drink without worrying about driving, and he'd been to plenty of clubs so he knew how it was.

Stuart nodded grabbing his clothes. A jeans and a shirt. He put some lighter clothes compared to Murdoc. A blue jeans and a white shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror and put his hair up. He smiled seeing his reflection.

He entered the cab still smiling and holding Murdoc’s hand. He didn't know if he would drink or not that night. It depended on Murdoc.

Murdoc was grinning ear to ear as they got to the club. He was practically bouncing up and down. When they got there, he practically pulled Stuart into the place. When they got in, he looked around at the huge dance floor, the flashing neon lights lighting up the place and the bodies. It was sort of loud and crowded, but that made it more fun in Murdoc’s opinion. He held onto Stuart's hand as he walked up to the bar. He yelled to him, "Want anything?"

Stuart entered the place being dragged by Murdoc. He was smiling as well but much less than Murdoc. It was crowded and barely lighted. Stuart swallowed starting to get a bit anxious. His confidence was going outta the window. "A martini" he said not really understanding what Murdoc wanted, he just hoped was a drink. "Are you going to drink?" he yelled at him back.

Murdoc nodded at Stuart. "Fuck yes, kid. You know I am." He was able to get a hold of the bartender to get a martini and a two shots of whiskey. He quickly downed his whiskey when he got them and handed Stuart his martini. "Drink up! I wanna dance with you!" He yelled at Stuart over the music, a giant grin on his face as he felt the whiskey already giving him a buzz.

Stuart looked at Murdoc and than at the martini. He shrugged and took a big sip of it. It was good and soothing. He loved when Murdoc called him a kid. Even in public. He looked around to see if any of those threatening people were there. Thankfully no so he smiled back to Murdoc. "Ready when you are" he yelled and downed the rest of his drink. He knew that with just two glasses Murdoc wouldn’t be drunk, but at least a bit tipsy. And he as well needed to be to dance in front of everyone together with his fiancée.

Murdoc lead Stuart out to the crowded floor. He didn't even care that it was crowded, he knew no one was looking at them. That was the beauty behind these kinds of places. When they were on the floor, Murdoc pulled Stuart close, looking up at him and smiling. Their hips were close and he put his hands on his hips and started swaying to the music with him to loosen Stuart up. He winked at him.

Stuart clumsy as ever tried to follow him the best he could. He smiled to him back and pulled him close by his shoulders. He thought that Murdoc was actually very good in what he was doing. He looked deep into his eyes and hoped he was doing well following his movements. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

Murdoc grinned and kissed Stuart, happy the kid seemed to be getting into it. He only stopped when he saw a bartender bringing a tray of jelly shots through the crowd, where he stealthily took one without them knowing. He downed it and tossed the paper cup to the ground, then went back to kissing Stuart, grinding his hips up against him.

Stuart was surprised by that kiss but he was happy to kiss him back. He kept swaying from side to the side smiling he tasted sweetly cuz of the jelly. It was something amazing for the singer cuz he loved sweets and Murdoc.... The two things together were inebriating. He pushed his hips against him and tightened the grip around his shoulders deepening the kiss.

Once he broke it he asked "I thought we were supposed to dance huh?" he joked chuckling. "Where are your amazing dance moves, old man?" he teased kissing his neck, the alcohol making him a bit loosen as he was a light weight.

Murdoc chuckled and tilted his head, letting Stuart kiss his neck as his hands played up his sides, rubbing him gently. He was feeling great and he was happy Stuart felt the same. He purred and got close to Stuart's ear, licking it and nibbling on the lobe. Then he turned around and pushed his ass and back up against Stuart's front, moving with the music again, swaying his hips. He turned his head to the side, smirking at Stuart. "Let’s see you make another old man joke after this!" He said to him.

When Murdoc licked his earlobe, he moaned lowly feeling goose bumps on his arms. The alcohol the music low illumination was messing with his senses and Murdoc made sure not to make things easy to Stuart.

He was about to lean closer when Murdoc changed positions with him. He bit his lip and his hands went to his hips grabbing them. He moved his own hips following Murdoc and gasping. He smiled squeezing his ass playfully.

"You're my old man......" He whispered into his ear "mine" and squeezed his hips with his hands pulling him close in an obscene way.

Murdoc felt a shiver run down his spine as Stuart whispered that in his ear. He gave out a low moan that was washed out in all the noise as Stuart pulled him close by his hips. Even though it was crowded, Murdoc felt as though they were the only ones there.  He brought an arm up and put his hand in Stuart's hair, turning slightly to kiss him. He was breathing hard from the dancing and kissing. After a few moments he pulled away, a giant grin on his face.

"I'm going to go grab a few more drinks real quick, okay? Do you want anything love?" He asked, getting close once more, grabbing a hold of the collar on his shirt and pulling him down to his level in a playful manner and kissing the tip of his nose.

Stuart didn't even mind if it was crowded or not.... He just wanted to make Murdoc feel good.... And in this teasing game he was up to play with him. He knew he could, Murdoc was his.

He kissed him back loving feeling him breathing that hard just cuz of a whisper. Sometimes he really forgot how powerful he could be towards Murdoc.

"Please more martini...." He asked lowly with a smirk giggling adorably with that kiss on his nose. "I love you y'know that?" He said with his face flushing and a goofy smile on his face "Please be quick.... I don't like this people around me...." He pouted looking around.

Murdoc chuckled and nodded. "I’ll be back quickly!" He gave him another quick kiss before walking off to grab their drinks. As short as he was, he had a little trouble pushing through a few times, at least with Stuart, the crowd just seemed to part for the tall kid. He waited at the bar to get their drinks.

Meanwhile a cute girl in a tube top and skirt came up to Stuart and started gently dancing up against him. "Hey cutie!" She said.

Stuart sighed noticing the girl next to him. He was just nodding to Murdoc and looking for a place to wait for him less crowded but he couldn't.... The bird was faster. He looked at her and tried to be kind. As he knew how the people who were there were savages.

"Hey...." he said shyly trying to behave, as he was a bit tipsy and gave her a small smile. He took a step back so the girl wouldn't be touching him anymore. He didn't want Murdoc thinking he was flirting with another person just cuz he left.

The girl beckoned Stuart closer with a smile and before he could react, she grabbed him in for a kiss, shoving her tongue and the pill of molly sitting on her tongue, into his mouth. She was good at what she did and she had quickly shoved it to the back of his throat so he couldn't spit it out. She pulled away quickly, giggling and walking away. She knew it'd take about half an hour for it to kick in.

Murdoc finally got their drinks and even ordered them a few jelly shots. He looked around to find him, thankfully finding him pretty quickly. "Here you go love! A martini and a few jelly shots!"

Stuart didn't know what was happening till it had already happened.... His eyes widened and he knew he had swallowed something but he didn't know what it was. He tried hard to spit but it was too lat.

He looked around scared Murdoc would see him kissing another girl and get mad. Thankfully he didn't. He wouldn't ruin the moment telling him what had happened so he just smiled embarrassed and accepted his martini hoping he wasn't that obvious to Murdoc. He was slightly trembling cuz of the adrenaline of the kiss before and a little too pale. "Thank you, love!" He said with a large fake grin taking a sip of his drink.

Murdoc smiled at him, taking a jelly shot. He didn't even notice he was pale or trembling because of the low lighting. He got up close to Stuart, bringing him over to a table they could stand at while they finished their drinks.

"Do you like it so far?" He asked. He was excited to get a little more drunk and then dance with Stuart more. Their erotic dancing was kinky and Murdoc loved it. He wanted way more of it. He even considered blowing Stu in the bathroom if it came down to it. He smiled at the thought.

"I-I like it...." He said forcing a smile. "And you....? Had been a while since I last came to a place like this...." He chuckled. Normally when Gorillaz had after parties in clubs or anything Stuart would leave before everybody saying he had a headache oŕ something as an excuse to go home.

He took another sip of his drink and waited Murdoc to answer wondering what was that thing he swallowed.

Murdoc smiled and nodded. "Oh yeah, definitely! I love these places. You can get away with a lot of shit." He winked at Stuart. "I remember when you used to leave early whenever we'd go to places like this." He said, taking one of his shots. He was really starting to feel buzzed now. He used to take a lot of drugs at places like this, people gave it out like candy. It'd been a while now.

"Yeah......" He agreed looking at his drink "i didn’t think I lost much of the fun right?" He chuckled. Probably what happened after he left wasn't pleasant for him.... Murdoc getting drunk off his arse and drugged while Stuart tried to avoid seeing him with other birds. Definitely not a good plan. He took another sip.

"Think I changed a bit after so many years right?" He said with a smile winking to him. He was actually having fun in a place like that with Murdoc of all people. Stuart was slowly starting to feel buzzy as well. He gave a large smile to Murdoc.

Murdoc nodded. "You have! You need to let loose kid." He laughed and pulled him close by the waist. "Now finish your drink, I want to dance some more with my fiancée." He held him close. He loved being here with Stuart. These clubs used to be fun but that was a fun that was also empty. Now with Stuart it meant a lot more.

He chuckled and held a jelly shot up to Stuart's mouth. "Drink my love. I want to taste it while I kiss you." He smiled and did one himself. He liked being able to be so open with Stuart in public.

Stuart nodded to his request. He would love to dance with him more. He grabbed the shot and drank as ordered. He believed Murdoc would take care of him afterwards if he drank too much.

Once he downed the liquid, he grabbed Murdoc by his collar and kissed him deeply so he could taste the jelly on his tongue. He broke the kiss and looked into his eyes passionately with a warm smile. He whispered into his ear "I'm all yours my fiancée...." a bit bolder.

Murdoc smiled and sloppily kissed him back, smiling when he said he was all his. Murdoc pulled him close, their lips just barely touching. He licked Stuart's lips, still tasting the jelly on them. Then he pulled back, took his hand and walked him back to the dance floor. There he pulled him close once more and danced up against him. Murdoc was buzzed, beginning to get drunk. He loved dancing up against Stuart like this.

Stuart followed him to the dance floor happily. He was already feeling buzzed and began to slightly sweat. He thought it was the crowded and hot place that was making him like that so he shrugged not really caring.

He began facing even bolder with Murdoc smiling every now and then. He pressed his hips against his on purpose swaying around and laughing when He saw other people looking at them. He didn't have a care in the world even when one of the people looking at them were the same girl as before.

Murdoc was surprised at how bold Stuart was acting, he thought he'd be a little more self-conscious dancing but Murdoc was happy he wasn't. He didn't care that there were some people watching them, he was just dancing with Stuart. He didn't know any of these people nor care about them.

He pulled Stuart close, kissing him again and then looking into his black eyes. He mouthed the words "I love you" to him, smirking and turning back around so he could back up against Stuart again. "Pretty good for an old man, huh?" He chuckled but stopped when he saw a girl watching them, pretty intensely. She suddenly turned away and started dancing with a guy near her. Murdoc thought nothing of it.

Stuart was surprised by that kiss. And smiled even more goofy. He mouthed back I love you and kept dancing. He was a bit clumsy but could already feel the effects of Molly in his system.... Maybe enhanced by the alcohol. Stuart nodded to his statement about him being an old man.

Stuart looked to the same girl and almost passed out. She was staring them both. He felt dizzy and scared Murdoc would notice something suspicious. He changed positions getting in front of him and in the way for him not to see the girl. He smiled and kissed his forehead.

Murdoc wasn't sure why Stuart suddenly changed positions, but he just smiled when he kissed his forehead. He was becoming slightly drunk and it'd been a while, he was feeling pretty good.

The girl came up and stayed behind Stuart so Murdoc wouldn't notice, running her hand up the singer’s back gently. Then she touched his hair.

Stuart felt those touches and immediately frowned at her turning around. He didn't like it. "Excuse me I'm dancing with my fiancée here" he said stopping dancing. He felt a bit more confident and angry about what she was doing with him. He folded his arms and turned his back to Murdoc an angry expression on his face.

Murdoc only saw Stuart's back to him suddenly, wondering what the hell was going on. He peaked around Stuart to see him talking to a girl. He noticed Stuart looked pissed.

The girl was a little surprised he turned around, but she noticed Murdoc looking around Stuart and took the opportunity to get up close to Stuart. "Aww but didn't you enjoy our kiss?" She asked, reaching up and touching his cheek.

Murdoc frowned. Kiss? He didn't get why this girl was touching Stuart like that, but he understood how some people were when they were high at these clubs very touchy. But why did she say kiss?

Stuart growled suddenly becoming even more pissed and slapped her hand away from his face "Our kiss?" He almost shouted at her "there was no fucking kiss you came out of the blue grabbed me and shoved something down my throat you slag" he was slightly trembling and red in the face. He was breathing hard and not really thinking while his heart was pounding into his chest.

He looked at Murdoc "she came and kissed me all of a sudden and left." He told him the truth all at once, not a hint of fear or hesitation in his voice. It was even thicker than his normal tone. Totally pissed. He just hoped Murdoc wouldn't get mad. His sweet and scared self hoped that.

Murdoc lifted a brow curiously, unsure of what the hell was happened. He didn't really care much about the kiss, but he was even more worried about the other part. How she shoved something down his throat.

"Why are you worried about this old man here honey? Come with me, I’ll make you feel good...." she giggled, clearly a little high herself. Murdoc growled and grabbed onto Stuart, pulling him closer. "What the hell is going on? You took something?" He asked Stu. Him being slightly drunk, it didn't catch on right away.

"cuz this man is my husband you whore" Stuart snarled back angrily clenching his teeth. He was about to shove the girl when Murdoc grabbed him. Thank God, he did that, Stuart was getting even more pissed with the way the girl was talking to him.

"I didn't took anything, Muds" he said to him frowning "she kissed me and shoved something down my throat when you were catching the drinks. Before I could spit it was already done" he looked at her "And I don't know what it was" he narrowed his eyes "mind telling us sweetie?" He teased spitting the word angrily.

The girl danced around a bit, unaffected by his words. "I gave you ecstasy sweetie." She giggled. Murdoc’s eyes widened. He may have been drunk, but he knew the seriousness of that.

He looked at Stuart, "How long ago? Have you taken it before?" He turned Stuart towards him, noticing his black eyes turning white. He noticed the sweating and shaking. "Christ kid, why didn't you tell me?!" He growled.

Stuart looked at him wide eyed. He didn't know what that meant and his mind was just too slow to process anything. He swallowed. "No Muds, never tried before...... Probably 20 or 30 minutes ago.... When you were at the bar..." He explained quickly.

Murdoc knew he had drink after taking ecstasy, was that serious? Could he die? He was staring to feel paranoid and really angry towards the girl. This time his eyes changed color but he wasn't aware. "cuz how could I tell you turned your back for 5 minutes and that fucking slut came to kiss me? Thought you'd be mad" he said gesticulating a bit too much to the occasion visibly desperate.

"Why did you do that?" He snarled to the girl. "I didn't ask for anything" he yelled. His eyes white as snow.

She noticed his eyes and smiled wide, getting close to him again. "Honey, your eyes are wicked." She giggled. They sort of glowed in the black light. She tried touching his hair again, but Murdoc pulled Stuart closer to him and then walked him over to the bathroom. He put him under the light, looking as best he could at his eyes.

"Christ, I can't see your fucking pupils." He growled. He put his hand against his forehead. "How'd you let a tiny girl just stick her fucking tongue down your throat?" He snapped. He was slightly pissed he hadn't said anything if he knew he swallowed something. "What if it had been something worse?!" He was in a mix of panic and mad. He grabbed some wet paper towel and started dabbing the sweat from his forehead.

Stuart didn't even noticed what was happening around him when Murdoc pulled him to the bathroom. He didn't react at all. He just allowed Murdoc to drag him whenever he wanted.

Once in the bathroom He looked at Murdoc "no one can see them after the accident love...." he whispered back to him giggling. "I wasn't ready Muds.... It was just that.... I wasn't about to fight a bloody girl that only came to me saying hi...." he looked at him a bit upset. "If it had been something worse.... Well.... We would be in a worse situation.... he chuckled "But I know you'd help me out.... You need to be always on my side to prevent this kind of stuff...." he closed his eyes so Murdoc could try his sweat.

Murdoc could tell the drugs were starting to affect Stuart already. He frowned, but a hint of a smile came on his face, having never seen Stuart like this before.

"You're a bloody 6 foot 2 inches tall giant Stuart. How could you not fend off a girl shorter than me? He said, trying to keep a stern face. I didn't think I needed to baby sit you 24/7...." he said a little softer. He sighed, it was difficult to be mad at him, but he was slightly worried. If he's known he had taken it, then he wouldn't have pumped drinks into him.

"Stuart. What do you want to do? Stay? Or go home? Either way I need to pump some water into you before you get too dehydrated." He brought his hand up and swept some blue hair out of his face. "What the hell am I gonna do with you kid?" He chuckled.

Stuart chuckled goofy looking at Murdoc "why you’re so worried, love...? I'm okay...." his face softened. "I'm not that rude, Muds.... Sorry...." he shrugged. "Maybe I need a nanny.... Those people are animals.... I dunno what i have that made they hunt me...." he laughed "I should be put in a cage or something..." he said lost in his own thoughts.

"what the hell you usually did with people when they were high....?" he asked caressing his face back. He felt amazing with Murdoc caring about him that way. He even forgot about the stupid whore of before already "take care of me, love...." he whispered and pulled him close, his white eyes shining. "Grab water for me.... We can stay if you want.... I mean.... What would we do at home huh?" he smiled "here we will have more interesting things to do...." he winked at him. "You can do anything you want with me.... " he whispered.

Murdoc laughed at Stuart's talking. He was clearly high and Murdoc was enjoying it quite a bit. "You're quite easy when you're like this, aren't you? What kind of stuff would I do with you here, Blue?" He pet his blue hair and smiled sweetly at him.

"I can take care of you anywhere you like. And I do agree, these people are animals and I’ll make sure to keep you safe tonight." He said. He was still slightly drunk, but the whole ordeal was wearing that off quickly. He was kind of excited to see Stuart high like this and not on his pills, he just needed to keep an eye on him. He also chose to ignore his question about what he did with people normally high. He was usually one of the people high.

"First you should get me water or something to make me go back to normal if I’m causing too much trouble cuz I’m high...." he laughed. "It's a bloody club Muds.... Let's do what people  do in clubs...." he grabbed his collar and pulled him close "or we can stay here in this filthy bathroom and you can blow me huh? Is that what people do in clubs?" he laughed even louder.

He caressed his face "God my husband is the most gorgeous human being...." he looked into his eyes "I'm so lucky to have you Mu’doc.... What have I done to deserve someone this amazing in my life....?" he pecked his lips "Fuck Muds.... I thought you'd never have eyes for me...... Thought you were more into...... Chicks than blokes...." he started talking what was inside his heart. At this point Murdoc could ask anything he would be answered.

Murdoc chuckled when he pulled him close and started telling him how lucky he was. This Stuart was an open book for sure. He was curious what he could get away with. He wanted to do everything with him in this club.

He smirked. "Why did you think that? You had to have known I was into guys too...." he swallowed. "You know.... If you'd stuck around some of those parties we went to, you would have seen me with some.... I'm, uh, never opposed to a blowy in the bathroom you know." He laughed and kissed him, before pulling away again.

"When was the first time you jerked off to me...." he asked, he wanted to see what he could get out of the kid. He planned to have some fun, maybe get him some water and dance with him some more. He liked this overly affectionate and touchy Stuart. Not that he wasn't always like that, but he was way less nervous.

Stuart shrugged "cuz you use to brought birds to you Winnie pretty often huh....? And no blokes at all.... Was that to keep appearances....? " he said softly. "But I know in those parties you should probably go to the bathroom and blow someone or get blowed or fucked...." he laughed "I didn't want to see that.... I wouldn't bear...." he said honestly. "I would have cried a lot.... Cuz I knew I wouldn't have the strength to stop you with whatever bird or bloke you were with......" he started confessing what hurt him the most.

He grabbed his hand absentmindedly caressing it. "The first time....?" He narrowed his white eyes thinking "I think it was...... Oh a bit after that whore cheated on me with you...." he frowned "I couldn't stop imagining what you were doing with her into that bathroom and....  I wanted to be in her place...." he whispered not looking at him "I jerked of thinking about that...... And then I cried and cursed myself cuz...... I needed to be angry with you be mad and not forgive you...... Not wanting you even more.... I felt so stupid used and empty...... You’d have laughed at me......" he looked at him "that hour I realized there was no turning back...." he said lowly and ashamed. "Sorry...."

Murdoc chuckled and put a hand on his face and the other on his hip. He slowly guided the singer to one of the bigger stalls, trying to keep him occupied so he wouldn't notice. He gave his face sweet little kisses to distract him.

"My poor sweet singer had to jerk off by himself. I'm sorry love. Let me make it up to you, yeah?" He said, continuing to kiss his face and his neck as he undid the singer’s pants. Then he pulled them down and slowly kneeled in front of him, grabbing hold of his cock and stroking it to get it hard. He put it against his face, smiling slyly up at Stuart.

"Will this suffice?" He asked, bringing his tongue out and licking the shaft as his eyes remained on Stuart.

Stuart almost fell when he was dragged into one of the shafts. He lost his balance and Murdoc with him was making everything more difficult. He nodded to Murdoc and pouted, wanting more already.

He looked down at him with his white eyes and said lowly "you.... You don't have to do anything to make up to me, Muds.... I love you...." he caressed his face and moaned lowly when he licked his shaft "Just please never leave me...... That's enough...." he closed his eyes running his fingers through his hair.

Murdoc chuckled and pulled away, still holding his cock. "Oh, so I don't need to do this then? Want me to put it back?" He teased the kid. He smiled up at him wondering what he would do. He was a fun one to tease.

"I mean, you don't seem like you really want this so...." he said, trying to keep from laughing. He gently stroked him with the one hand just to tease him more. "You said I could do whatever but if you aren't enthused." He shrugged, still gently stroking him. He was being mean at this point but it was just too easy to tease him.

Stuart squirmed and tried to keep standing leaning against the wall he closed his eyes and bit his lip. His head was spinning and he wasn’t thinking straight. Being high just made him much more sensitive to his surroundings. He kept running his fingers through his hair and whispered "do what you want with me...." he said lowly. "Please...." he couldn’t react much just focusing in his sweet and slow touches.

His heart was on his throat his vision was blurry and he was feeling chills going through his body. His skin was already getting cold "Punish me for...... Not getting rid of that whore...... When I needed to...." he whispered looking at him. His cock twitched, what make him moan, he was just too sensitive.

Murdoc smiled wide. Stuart was acting so sensitive, his orgasm would be amazing. "Alright love, I’ll punish you." He smiled decided to move slow so as not the overwhelm him. He licked the tip and moved his tongue around it, taking his time. One hand went to his hip to hold him close, the other stayed on his shaft.

After a little bit he put the head of it in his mouth and sucked on it gently. He swirled his tongue over it. He loved hearing his moans echo in the bathroom, but it almost mixed with the bass of the music. It was still a little loud in there. He knew people were walking in and out and hearing Stuart but he didn't care, neither did they. It was actually pretty common to hear in clubs like this.

Stuart put a hand on his mouth to prevent his moans to be too loud. He closed his eyes and let himself go feeling Murdoc around him. "Muds...." he moaned lowly and looked down biting his lip "fuck I love you.... You make me feel so good...." he whispered.

Murdoc chuckled and put more of him in his mouth. He hallowed his cheeks and wrapped his tongue around it and massaged it gently. He was making this one extra sloppy, drooling slightly as he went deeper and deeper in his throat. He loved giving him head in such a public space. It was so exciting for him. He hoped Stuart felt the same. He could feel his jeans getting uncomfortably tighter.

Stuart moaned a bit louder and shivered feeling how deep it was going. He caressed his hair and face smiling for Murdoc. His head was spinning and he felt a bit dizzy still. "I'm gonna....  Muds...."  he cried in pleasure warning him.

Murdoc didn't care, he kept going. He grabbed Stuart's hips and pinned him to the stall wall as he took him in all the way. Looking up at him, as if saying, "Do it." Murdoc was enjoying this way too much, and he knew he shouldn't. The smart thing would be to take Stuart home.

"Fuck." he whispered and came suddenly. He was dizzy and unbalanced but couldn’t hold it back. His heart was in his throat already. He blinked twice and his eyes went back to its normal color but he still felt high. "Muds...... Love.... " he called him leaning against the wall while he felt his knees giving in.... "Don’t.... I’ll fall...." he slurred trying to grab Murdoc not to fall.

Murdoc swallowed and heard him. He sounded weak, that was expected. He quickly stood up and grabbed him as best he could. It was a little difficult with someone so tall. "Hey now, I got ya......" he said. "How are you feeling?" He asked him, he was breathing hard himself.

"Dizzy...." he laughed "And good of course...." he smirked and looked at him. "Thank you love......" he was still sweating and trembling. "What can .... I do for you...... To thank you properly..." he looked down seeing how his jeans were tight. "I just need a small break.... And some water I guess...." he said weakly leaning against the wall and Murdoc not to fall.

Murdoc chuckled and had the singer lean on him. "Let’s focus on you right now." He had held him up as he started to walk him out of the stall. There were a few looking at them, a little too excitedly. Murdoc growled at them and brought Stuart out to a booth.

"Stay here I'm going to go get water." He didn't want to leave the kid but he had to grab him water and he wouldn't be far, they were close to the bar. He went over to the bar trying to get a glass or a bottled water, arguing with the bartender who said they didn't have any. Murdoc knew they had water, they just wanted people to buy alcohol.

Stuart nodded to him understanding what he would do. He leaned against the wall waiting for him. He looked around still dizzy but feeling slightly better after cumming. He blinked twice getting aware of his surroundings and trying to look for Murdoc. He was far getting water, he swallowed getting nervous as he was left alone again. He was starting to feel paranoid that the girl from before would appear again or someone else threatening him.

His hand went to his shirt over his heart and grabbed the cloth. His eyes widened and he started breathing hard. His whole body shook and he took deep breaths to calm himself down. His vision was blurry and the distance between him and Murdoc seemed much bigger than the reality.

Murdoc finally convinced the guy at the bar to give him water. He had to threaten to beat his ass, but he finally got a bottle of water. When he walked back to Stuart, he noticed the kid clutching his shirt and.... Having a panic attack?

"Shit!" He said, running to him and wrapping his arms around him, holding him close. He whispered in his ear. "Hey, hey, I'm right here. Calm down Stuart. I have water. Here." He put the cold bottled water to his forehead in hopes of helping him cool down and snap out of it.

He flinched and yelped when he noticed the water bottle on his forehead. It felt like burning as he was really sensitive. He gasped and held him back "I thought you had left me...." he whispered to him sounding desperate. He grabbed the bottle and looked into his eyes taking it off his head and breaking the hug. "Sorry...... I'm just tired of these people......" he sighed opening the bottle. He thought it was a side effect of what he took all that paranoia. He wasn’t suppose to be feeling like that....

"Muds... You know how long this thing lasts in my system....?" he looked at him "I mean, you had already taken ecstasy in your life right?" he asked. "Not good for a first time right?" he felt drained after the orgasm but his body refused to feel tired. He felt alive as he could do anything but at the same time he was worried about the place they were and what could happen. He liked and was scared of that sensation. He took a big sip of water.

Murdoc nodded. He could tell Stuart was really feeling the drugs effects now. He felt a little nod for the kid. He was getting paranoid and he wasn't sure if he should keep him here or at home.

"Stuart, the drug can last 4 to 6 hours? You want me to take you home or will you be too jittery there?" He continued to pet Stuart's hair, hoping he wasn't over stimulating him. He was trying to keep him feeling comfortable at least.

Stuart bit his lip.... "4 or 6 hours....? I won't be able to sleep...." he said sadly  “Something tells me here we will only have troubles but we can stay if you want... I mean if there's any way of minimizing the effects..." he looked at the bottle taking another sip and sighing "I'm sorry.... I shouldn't let her do that with me...." he was scared he had ruined everything for their night.

Murdoc smiled and gave him and sweet kiss. "No Bluebird, it's okay. I should have warned you how people were. I forgot you always used to leave at the old parties. I’ll stay beside you the rest of the night and you can dance that energy off, yeah? If you don't want to I'm sure there's other ways to get that energy out." He laughed. He kept running hid hand through Stuart's hair.

Stuart looked at him and nodded "So let's dance?" he smiled to him widely. One part of him was worried about getting to the dance floor again and someone attack him. He grabbed Murdoc by the hand and went back to the club to dance with him. Once in the dance floor he grabbed him by his hips and started swaying together with the bassist. "So you're up to dance all night if i need?" he laughed.

Murdoc laughed. "Well you did call me an old man earlier so...." he teased him. "Yeah I’ll dance with you all night Stuart, whatever you need, okay? Just tell me." He said, pulling him down for a kiss. He liked dancing close with Stuart, would they ever get to do that in a club in the UK? Or the US? Too many people to recognize them. And it's not a problem of being seen, its all the predators that'll use it as an opportunity to hurt him or Stuart. Of course here wasn't any better.

Stuart smiled at him "Whatever I need?" he laughed "I think I need a hug" he said softly opening his long and bony arms wide so Murdoc could hug him. He didn’t care if other people were looking, he just wanted to feel Murdoc close and loved. After all that paranoia he needed to calm down at least his mind cuz his body wouldn’t calm down at all.

Murdoc chuckled, "Fine, fine. Come here." He hugged him close. "Shit. Maybe I should take you home, you're not in the right mindset here. Maybe I’ll just, I dunno, flash some lights while you dance on the beach with glow sticks or something." He laughed at the ridiculous idea.

Stuart laughed at his idea "Not the right mindset, love?" he asked jokingly "How could a beach with glow sticks be the right one?" he laughed even more "I just want you close...." he said into his ear . "This thing makes me needy......" he nuzzled his face on his hair "Muds.... Let's get married when we come back? I don’t want to wait anymore......" he said smiling.

Murdoc laughed again. "I suppose you have a point." He brushed his blue hair behind his ear. "You wanna get married? But I want the rings at the very least." He smiled.

Before Stuart can answer a group of kids, maybe in their early 20s came up and sort of stood around looking at them till one was brave enough to ask, "Are you Murfoc and 2D from Gorillaz?"

Stuart looked at the kid...... Not really kids as he was twenty something as well "yes.... We are...." he said softly "who are you guys?" he asked smiling and keeping Murdoc close possessively. He turned to Murdoc after talking to the person "we get the rings than we get married.... One after the other huh?" he said smirking to him loud enough to the people near hear

Murdoc noticed the grip Stuart had on him but didn't try to pull away. He answered Stuart first, "Yes Stu. Rings then wedding okay? Promise." He gave him a smile and turned to the group.

"We're just huge fans! Can we sit with you? If that's okay? Please? What are the odds of seeing you here?! Of all places?" One girl said excitedly. Murdoc noticed it was a group of about 7 of them. He wasn't sure how Stu would handle that, so he turned to him.

"Well?" He asked the kid. "You okay with that?" He asked.

Stuart smiled as well. He was happy Murdoc agreed and felt loved that he didn’t pull away from his grip. Stuart heard the girl and nodded "Of course you can......" he said softly. At least fans wouldn’t bite would they? "If you saw our last posts I mentioned we were in Jamaica but yeah...... In the same place it’s a huge coincidence...." he chuckled

He looked at Murdoc "I'm okay, Muds.... Let’s talk to them and see if the time passes and i feel less .... High y’know?" he smiled trying to see the bright side of all that. "is it okay for you?" he asked Murdoc rubbing his arm cuz he knew how he was about lots of people especially fans.

Murdoc nodded, "Yeah, good point." He smiled at him and leaned up against him as the group squished in around them. They all seemed giddy and excited, definitely having a good time.

One girl spoke up, "I did see your latest posts, and can I just say, you two are so fucking adorable together!" A few others agreed. Another girl said, "Murdoc, 2D broke through that hard exterior and it turns out you're so soft and cute!" She giggled, a few other did as well.

Stuart smiled to Murdoc than looked to the girl. Her comment would have made him embarrassed but he was way too confident for that now. He just smiled "yeah out of the stage or interviews he's really a softie.... " he looked at Murdoc "he's really sweet and a lovely handsome man.... I'm really happy I'm going to marry him soon." He said terribly fond and caressed his face.

Stuart wasn’t feeling any ashamed cuz of that, nor the girls words nor his own. "I’ll be a Niccals soon...." he giggled. "Muds is improving and treating me each time better...... We're leaving the past in the past and trying again...." he looked at the kids. He just wanted to make sure Murdoc wasn't abusing him anymore and he was a changed man. He kissed his cheek sappily.

Murdoc would have been more embarrassed but Stuart was being too adorable with him and the low lighting hid his embarrassment pretty well. He was beginning to get used to being sweet in front of others. He put his arm around Stuart and smiled at the group. They seemed to enjoy that.

"So you guys are getting married? For real? Who asked who?" One asked. Murdoc answered. "I asked him." And that was all he said. He wasn't sure how much detail Stuart wanted him to spill

Stuart noticed Murdoc smiling and felt even better. He wasn’t mad at him. This made the singer even more confident to continue talking to that bunch of strangers. He would know how to deal if they got way too personal, or would let Murdoc deal with that.

Stuart was about to answer when Murdoc was faster. He wasn’t expecting him to say so openly about the proposal, but it was a good surprise at least. "Yeah he asked me...." he showed them the ring they had so far "we bought these ones here so people would know we're taken.... But the real ones Mu’doc ordered and they will arrive in some weeks...." he said proudly showing his hand to the kids. "its for real, we just dunno when yet.... There are some things about the band that must be solved first...." he explained vaguely resting his head on his shoulder with a smile.

One of the girls came closer and looked at the rings and then smiled at him. "That's so cute! Was it a romantic proposal? I never thought Murdoc would do that, he always seemed like a chump." She laughed. Murdoc frowned.

"I'm not a chump. I am quite the gentleman." He said kind of joking, but not really. He thought he was at least doing better. He ran his hand through Stuart's hair without realizing it. It was starting to become second nature.

Stuart chuckled to them "It was a romantic and unexpected one actually...." he looked at Murdoc "but even if Murdoc asked me in the middle of a supermarket I would have said yes anyway...." he shrugged "It's not the way he asked me" he caressed his face "is about who is asking me.... And I love him. So I said yes...." he laughed.

"And no, he's not a chump, he's learning.... I'm not that romantic or clever or anything.... But when we really are in love with someone, we change y’know....?" he looked at the group "one day you'll find your significant ones as well...." he just thought they were too young for that.

A couple of the girls squealed and Murdoc rolled his eyes. These kids were too easy. Stuart was hardly holder than any of them and they clung to every word.... And he's high! Not that he was wrong, but it was funny to see people just go gaga over his words.

Another girl leaned in, "What's the most romantic thing the other has done for you?" She asked. Was this 20 fucking questions with Stuart's and Murdoc’s personal life? He supposed it was to be expected, people were going to be curious. In addition, it was keeping Stuart calm so whatever.

Murdoc looked over at Stuart. He tried to think, he wasn't exactly the type to swoon over romantic things so it was hard for him to think about it. "When he sang with me at a bar." Murdoc said, pulling him close and kissing his cheek. He was talking about when they sang at Stoke of course, but he left out the other details of course.

Stuart placed a finger on his mouth thinking. He didn’t mind answering questions, he liked when people were interested in his life and those questions weren’t embarrassing or compromising.... At least not for Stuart's high brain.

Stuart heard his answer and his heart melt "Oh that day...... It was amazing...." he looked at the kids "Muds here got up after some things that happened made me upset and walked straight to the stage ordering the band to play our song.... Stairway to Heaven.... He was a bit drunk but he grabbed the microphone and started singing" he said laughing

"God, it was the most beautiful sight I could have asked for. I got up on the stage and joined him singing.... The whole bar stopped to see us...." he wouldn’t mention his brother did this too. Did those kids knew Murdoc had a brother? "It was really romantic and he was able to cheer me up doing that......" he looked at Murdoc

 "He almost died of embarrassment but he made it.... Besides this, he has been romantic every day ever since.... This whole travel was his idea.... And he had surprised me a lot the last days...." he told them vaguely remembering the rides, the birds, Murdoc crying the sex on the beach. This memory made him shiver.

Murdoc blushed as he told them the short version of the story, but he tried to remain looking nonchalant. He kept wondering how much info he'd give out, but so far it hasn't bed too bad. With the kid high, he supposed he could spill quite a lot if he wanted to.

The girls were easily impressed by the stories and cooed. They all thought Murdoc was so sweet to him, maybe this would help his reputation a bit with some of the negative ones.

"Awww 2D that's so sweet! Can Mudsy be my boyfriend?" One giggled and looked at her friends. A few others said, "Oh me too!" Murdoc smirked, not too bad. He could have his own harem here.... If he was interested in that kind of shit that is.

Stuart even high was aware that he shouldn't talk to much about their lives...... SO his sober part tried to suppress them but being honest with the kids was really important. They could tell about this experience in the social media or something.... Would be embarrassing if they talked about how they were rude. And he needed to keep the appearances showing he wasn't high.

Stuart chuckled "I'm sorry kids this one is already taken......" he said proudly and kissed him deep and passionate on his lips. He knew they were joking and he didn't feel any jealousy "you came a bit too late.... I'm sorry to tell ya...." he laughed keeping Murdoc close. "But he belongs to one man only......" he looked at him passionately waiting for Murdoc’s reaction.

Murdoc was incredibly embarrassed over the kiss and the passionate staring, even if he tried to hide it. He blushed a bright red that he felt everyone could probably see in the poor lighting. He tried to hide his face a little. The girls awwed at them.

"Christ kid, you're making us look gay." He chuckled to him and hid his face. He tried to clear his throat and look stoic again.

"What kind of wedding are you having?" Another asked while Murdoc fried to reset himself.

Stuart laughed even more "look gay? We ARE gay Mu’doc......" he said joking. Actually they were Bi.... But not the right time for that. He found extremely cute him blushing that way. He didn't care a bit about embarrassing them. Showing himself he loved Murdoc made him really happy.

"Probably at the beach...." he answering the kid "sounds romantic and Muds agreed....  " he shrugged "nothing big.... Just simple .... For little people......" he answered vaguely. He looked at Murdoc "isn't it love?"

Murdoc nodded and looked to the side still embarrassed. He kept hearing the girls giggling and whispering to each other. He wasn't sure when he'd gotten so soft. He knew that if he was the old Murdoc, he'd be trying to get everyone one of these girls in bed, maybe even all at the same time. Now he wasn't even interested. Even for a threesome. He didn't want to share Stuart.

He hunched his shoulder, red and hot with embarrassment still. One of the girls, who'd been more quiet looked at the two. She looked a bit wobbly, possibly drunk or high on something, he didn't know. She was staring at him, but it didn't look friendly. He looked away and focused on the others.

"Oh oh! I got a question. Are you guys gonna tour soon? Will you kiss on stage again? That MTV kiss was HOT." A bunch of others agreed.

Stuart was looking at them and didn’t even notice the silent girl in the back. "Tour?" he asked himself "We're gonna record some more videos...... And start working in our next album...." he looked at Murdoc "this lad here is the owner.... He knows about aaaall that's related to the band...." he laughed and looked at the girl "Well I think we can kiss on stage.... I mean, everyone already knows we're a couple so......" he shrugged "what do you think, Muds?" he asked to his totally embarrassed fiancée, rubbing his arm.

Murdoc swallowed. "Uh.... Yeah, yeah, I suppose. If that's what the people really wanna see, I have no problem with it. You know, a couple of hot men, making out on stage wouldn't be too bad right?" He teased.

"You don't deserve him." The girl that was staring at him before slurred out. "He's too good for you...." Murdoc suddenly became both defensive and sad all at once, his insecurities getting the better of him.

"Sarah......" one of the girls hissed at her. She then turned to the two. "Sorry, she's a little drunk. She's a mean drunk apparently."

Stuart looked at Murdoc too after hearing her words. He noticed how he was looking worried and sad. He didn't like what she said "too good or not, little girl, it's him who I want to be with." He narrowed his eyes "he's good for me too.... Not a matter of deserving it's a matter of love. And I love Murdoc." He said sternly, shaking a bit holding Murdoc.... Molly giving him all the confidence he needed that moment. He felt a bit hurt and angry at her words

He looked to the other girl "That's okay.... I understand we say things we don't mean when drunk" he looked at Murdoc. "Definitely we will be making out for people to see...." he said proudly. "He's mine and I'm his so...." he shrugged lifting the mod a bit. "Let's make people jealous of us" he laughed

Murdoc looked down a bit, he hated how weak he felt at the moment. Stuart could say whatever he wanted and it still wouldn't make up for what he'd done. She was right in a way. Murdoc still felt he didn't deserve him, now he felt that at this moment....

"What do you love about 2D? What changed your mind?" One of them asked, snapping him from his thoughts. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment.

"Uh.... Well.... He's wicked talented. I think I fell in love with his voice first, then he just kept.... Trying with me, you know? You may think he's like a pushover but he's bloody determined when he wants something. It just sort of happened. He's forgiving.... Obviously. He's sweet. He's caring, fuck is he caring. I can't get him to stop. He's given me more love in the span of a couple months than I’ve seen my entire lifetime...." he smiled, thinking about it all.

Stuart looked at him and his jaw fell. Was Murdoc really telling him all those sweet things about himself? He bit his lip smiling like a dork "you mean that....?" He asked lowly looking into his eyes and grabbing his hands squeezing them. He felt overwhelmed with emotions.  Murdoc saying those sweets things about him in front of strangers made his weak heart melt. " You.... Really think I give you.... This amount of love?" He whispered to him ignoring the kids for a moment.

Murdoc laughed and nodded. He didn't care anymore if there were people. They seemed to be waiting in anticipation. "Yeah Stuart. I've told you how shit my father was, the guy didn't give me a lick of attention.... Well any good attention. You're like the fucking sun and just blinding me with it." He chuckled. It wasn't as romantic said out loud, but it would work. He knew Stuart would get what he meant.

Stuart giggled and bit his lip not to laugh. He was feeling so happy so complete that time.... "Thank you......" he whispered to him. "You're the best...."

He looked at the kids "Any more questions....?" He said in his normal tone of voice. He just hoped Murdoc wasn't feeling that worried and sad that he was before cuz of what that girl said.

The girls looked at each other, smiling. "Not really! Well.... We have tons but we were just wondering if we could get autographs?" They asked eagerly. Murdoc smiled and nodded. They squealed and brought some items over for them to sign.

One girls came up to Stuart. "2D will you dance just one song with me? Please? Doesn't have to be close, just out on the floor with me? Pleeeeeeeease?" She asked desperately. Murdoc laughed.

Stuart looked at them " We're feeling generous today so if you still want to ask anything feel free to do it...... Muds would you be bothered?" he asked hesitantly. He was high but only the bassist knew that. Would it be suspicious he telling the girl no? Would he be able to dance like a normal person? He swallowed. "And autographs? Sure.... Just need to find some paper or maybe napkins.... And a pen...." he looked around, his vision a bit blurred trying to look for something to autograph.

Murdoc put his hand on Stuart's lower back and leaned in close to his ear, "I don't mind." He chuckled and leaned in just a bit closer so only he could hear, "Don't let them get too close or I’ll have to show them all you belong to me" his hand went down the back of Stuart's pants a bit as he nibbled his ear lobe. He wasn't worried about the girls really noticing, it was too dark to see the details.

He pulled away just a bit and smirked, then he took a marker one girl found and signed her hat. Then he signed a few other things, handing the pen to Stuart after.

Stuart grabbed the marker as well trembling trying to sign something for the girls. He signed some hats shirts and notebooks smiling all the time. He stood up trying to keep balanced and smiled to the girl who wanted to dance with him. He wondered if another girl wanted to dance with Murdoc...... He had some, interesting dance moves he could tell.

He wobbled and didn’t touch the girl, just heading to the dance floor and giving Murdoc a last smile and a kiss on the forehead.

Murdoc laughed as he watched Stuart leave. The guy was not like himself right now, well.... Except for maybe being a little clumsy. He thought it was cute. He hoped he riled him up a bit.

Another girl came up to Murdoc, clearly drunk, and sat on his lap. His eyes widened and he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her next to him instead. "Easy there, love." He chuckled. "You're gonna get me in trouble." He half joked, but was also serious. Stuart would not be happy to see that.

Stuart was at the dance floor already trying not to fall dancing to the girl that asked him before. He looked at Murdoc and saw other girl on his lap. He just hoped his blurry vision was messing with him. At least he put the girl aside. He swallowed his jealousy and kept dancing like nothing had happened. He smiled to the girl gently but keeping a safe distance from her.

The girl was having fun dancing with Stuart, a few others joined them. They were all giggling and having a good time, taking pictures with each other and 2D.

The girl giggled. "Oh come on. Isn't there room on uncle Mudsy's lap for me?" She slurred a bit. Murdoc became a little nervous. Drunk girls were easy, but a pain to get rid of. They never took no as an answer. He hand crept closer and rested on his knee, then it slowly slid upwards. He grabbed it and sat it back in her own lap, which made her giggle.

Stuart tried to focus in dancing and smile in the pictures for the kids. Thankfully his pupils couldn’t be seen or it would be too obvious that he was high as a kite. That girl was totally making him pissed. He could see from the distance she was drunk or high trying to flirt with Murdoc. But the closeness with him was really driving him mad. Was it really him or molly?

Till that moment he could still control himself and not interfere. He believed that Murdoc would manage to get rid of her...... He trusted his fiancée...... He was just waiting for a prove from him. Or the singer would do the same with the girl together with him. He clenched his teeth and stopped staring the girl with Murdoc, hoping for the best.

Murdoc scooted away from the girl a bit, but she moved closer. He was getting a bit desperate. She got up and sat on the table in front of him, holding her legs open just a bit so he could see up her short skirt. She was giggling. He growled and went to get up but she shoved him back down to the couch with her leg. She held him there, keeping her foot on his chest. He growled, swatting her leg away.

"Get the hell off!" He said, getting up quickly and walking towards the bathroom in the hopes she won't follow. She did of course, bring drunk and dumb.

Stuart stopped dancing the moment he saw what that bitch was doing. His blood boiled. He could totally notice Murdoc trying to get rid of her and smiled. He was doing right but the whore was persistent. He sighed and waved goodbye to the people that he was dancing with going directly to the girl on the way to the bathroom.

He pushed her by her shoulder, himself almost as twice as height as her. "What the fuck are you trying to do with my fiancée?" he shouted at her, his eyes wide and trembling from anger. "He is clearly taken and not interested can you please leave him the fuck alone?" he snarled angrily. He couldn’t help but think what would have happened if he had fight back the girl who drugged him.

Murdoc heard what was going on behind him with Stuart and quickly turned around to see him pretty much standing off with a drunk teenage girl. He knew he needed to intervene or Stuart might get in trouble. He quickly got between the two kids. He almost laughed, look at him being the voice of reason.

He had his hands on Stuart's shoulders looking up at him. "Hey love, calm down. She's drunk, don't get too upset. I don't want you to be in trouble." He smiled at him. His reputation was much more important than Murdoc’s. Meanwhile the girl was laughing and leaned up against Murdoc, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. Murdoc frowned and tried to pry her off, but she squeezed tighter. "Ack! Get off!" He growled.

Stuart didn’t even hear what Murdoc had to say. He pushed the girl really hard, furious away from him. In a way he never did before. He didn’t care if she was drunk or not. She was being extremely inconvenient and he was totally done with that. Result of his jealously and the drug into his system. He didn’t even care if there were more people looking at them or if she was younger and a girl.

He finally managed to take her off Murdoc, his face turned darkly into a grimace. He blinked and his eyes were white again so much anger he was feeling. "enough" he snarled shaking. "Get off him and sod off." he ordered really close to her face. He was angry but much more serious now. His height was intimidating and he totally left Murdoc alone to deal with her.

If she wanted trouble she would have. He really wanted to take off that stupid smile from her face even if he had to punch her. He was a bit outta himself. He clenched his teeth again and his face became red with anger. He finally stood for himself.... But not in the right moment or circumstances, Murdoc was too pacific for his standards.

The girl just sort of laughed in her drunk state. "But he's soooo cute. I love short guys. They're the best. I love how squishy he looks, I just wanna cuddle him." She slurred. She tried to reach for Murdoc again, obviously not afraid of Stuart in her current state. Murdoc grabbed Stuart and quickly walked away, before the kid attacked her. He knew Stuart wasn't in his right mind either. He needed to diffuse the situation before his singer was on the front page of the news punching a drunk girl.

"Stuart come on! Calm down." He said, pulling him away to another side of the place.  "Everything's okay now love." He said.

Stuart growled frustrated. He was really about to attack that girl so angry he felt. He felt relieved Murdoc grabbed him and pulled him away. He took a deep breath and looked to Murdoc with his eyes still white. His arms trembling and his unsteady breath. "Yeah... Okay...." He said lowly.

"I hate these people.... I tried to be gentle with them but things never work out right for us...." He said with his voice breaking. "Sorry Muds.... I got mad when she came to you...... I was jealous okay...." He wiped his eyes angrily. "I didn't want to fight with her but she wouldn't give up and I just......  " he looked at him "I'm sorry...." the drug was making him emotive and sensitive again.

"I know you didn't want anything with her.... But she persisted...." He bowed his head crying. "God I'm so sorry.... I almost punched a girl in the face...." he hid his own face with his hands sad and embarrassed. "I just didn't want anyone touching what's mine......." He said muffled.

Murdoc felt bad for the kid, he knew he got upset when shit like that happened and it was probably 10 times worse when he was drugged. He pulled him close and held him, rubbing his back gently. He had brought him over to a quieter corner, thankfully so he didn't need to shout. He liked that he was jealous, it was cute.

"Stuart, it's okay. I know you don't like it when people paw all over you or me. I don't like it either, but that's an unfortunate part of being a star. People wanna touch you, they wanna fuck you, or they wanna hurt you. It's also an unfortunate side effect when you're a good looked son of a bitch." He chuckled. He pet his hair and looked at his phone. It'd been two hours now. Two hours with a drugged Stuart. About a couple more and he should be good.

"Are you wanting to go home? Have I all to yourself?" He asked, kissing the side of his head.

Stuart took a deep breath feeling awful. "Anything you please Muds.... I already caused too much trouble." He took his hands off his face and looked at him. His eyes were black again and he had a sad face.

 "This thing doesn't go away and I want to sleep but I can't......" he said sadly. He didn't know how much time had passed but all he really wanted was less trouble and less people around them.

Murdoc felt bad for the kid. He really was hurting and it wasn't his choice at all. He hugged him tight and sort of swayed a bit with him. Maybe that would calm him down a bit. He thought is was so cute how jealous he was, but he knew he shouldn't exploit that at the moment. It was quiet enough in their corner that he started humming to him a bit. It was actually one of their songs, Latin Simone. He didn't know why that one popped into his head, but he rolled with it.

Stuart took some deep breaths to calm down. He swayed with Murdoc a bit more smiling a bit when he started humming. He felt calmer now. Inside he thought that the roles might have changed this time.... Murdoc much more soft and he wanting to punch people on the face. He let out a soft laugh. "you're the best you know that....? Thank you...." he hugged him back tighter. "That's why I wanna marry you.... So you'll be mine...." he nuzzled his face on his chest.

Murdoc smiled and hugged him tight. "Thanks, I am the best aren't I?" He laughed. "Wanna get out of here my love?" He asked kissing the top of his head. It was good while it lasted and Murdoc wished he could dance with him more but it just wasn't working out here. He felt bad that most of their public outings were getting ruined....

"Where you wanna go, love? Straight to home? I don’t mind...... As long as we don’t have more problems...." he said softly kissing his cheek. He didn’t know what else to do to ease the effects of the drug in his system. "Sorry I ruined the night...." he whispered looking into his eyes. That spot was really calm, he felt better and all the anger he was feeling was drained away after Murdoc sweet touches

Murdoc smiled. "Yeah, let’s go home. We can walk the beach again or something." He said, holding his hand and walked out with him. Before they reached the door, that girl that hated Murdoc walked up to the two of them. She looked pissed for some reason. She had a martini and suddenly threw it in Murdoc’s face then walked off. Murdoc stood there, slightly shocked.

Stuart was happy following Murdoc to the exit when she came again. He would ignore her but now he was just too curious. He went after her frowning but not as angry as before. He grabbed her shoulder and asked  turning her around to face him "Why did you do that? He didn’t  do anything to you...." he said seriously. Why would someone waste a martini that way? Especially with someone who didn’t do anything for her.

Murdoc watched to walk off as he wiped his face with the dry parts of his shirt. He growled at some people watching him. He figured Stuart would be okay for now. He wasn't as angry. But he still kept an eye on him.

The girl looked at Stuart. "He hurt you. How can you be okay with him?! He brainwashed you." She spat at him. "My ex had hit me with his car and I lost my leg." She pulled her pants up to show a prosthetic. "Tried to say he loved me. Yeah right. How can you be okay with him causing you to lose your eyes!? He put you in a coma for a year!" She was obviously a bit disgusted with Stuart. "You can't just forgive everyone. Some people don't deserve it. He's just gonna hurt you again." She said.

Stuart was shaken with her words.... He wasn’t expecting it "I'm taking the risk...." he told her seriously "my parents told me all this and ill tell you what I told them. I'm happy with my choice.... I chose to forgive him, I chose to forget about what happened.... I chose to move on and be with him." he swallowed, her words hit deep inside him. "He’s trying his best to make it up to me.... And he loves me...." he said lowly trying to convince the girl

 "I know all that happened.... Everyone knows.... But even not agreeing this was my final decision." he narrowed his eyes "if he hurt me again, my fault, I allowed him. Besides I decided to join his  band.... The thing between us just happened...." he looked to the floor. Should he really never forgive Murdoc ? Should he have really moved on...... Those questions were making him dizzy sad and confused. He was high and those weren’t the best words to hear now.

The girl frowned at him. "You're doing nothing but enabling him. People like that never change. I hope you can find the strength to leave one day......" and with that she left.

Murdoc was waiting for Stuart, a little bored and a little cranky from being splashed with alcohol. He crossed his arms and waited. He noticed how the girl was pissed and Stuart seemed to be.... Upset. Shit.

Stuart turned back to him looking down "let's please just leave Muds...." he said lowly "I'm sorry about what happened to you. She wasn’t drunk or anything..." he didn’t feel like explaining him what happened unless Murdoc really wanted to know. He grabbed his hand walked outside and called a taxi still looking sad and upset.

 Why everyone needed to tell him that....? He already know the consequences of his acts.... Why people would always tell him how wrong he was.... Was he really that idiot?.... People didn’t support his choices cuz they were that stupid? Even his parents.... He swallowed silently feeling paranoid but doing his best not to show it.

Murdoc watched the kid, noticing how upset he was. Stuart couldn't hide it very well. He waited till they got home, holding his hand the entire way, hoping it wasn't something he did.

When they got home, he turned to him. "What happened? Talk to me." He said, ignoring how he was wet from alcohol. Stuart was more important at the moment. He looked up and brushed the blue hair from his face. "What did she say? I can tell it's bugging you."

Stuart bit his lip totally uncomfortable in talking to him about what happened. "She said you hurt me...... And asked me how could I be okay with that.... " he looked at him "She said you brainwashed me......" his eyes watered "She said I shouldn't forgive everyone cuz some people just didn't deserve...... And that you'll just hurt me again cuz I'm enabling you...." he took a deep breath "that people like you never change...." he said finally.

"I don't believe her or anything...... I actually told her that I was sure about my decision...." he looked down again "but I'm tired of people saying those mean things .... I'm so happy I'm with you.... I really don't believe you'll do the mean things everyone keep telling me you will...." he sniffled "Am I stupid Muds.... For choosing the person I love?" He asked hugging himself embarrassed.

Murdoc’s shoulders fell. His heart ached at those words. He was starting to second guess himself a bit. Like he didn't deserve Stuart......

He growled suddenly. "No! You're not stupid. The world is wrong. I won't hurt you and I am sorry and I will change. I haven't done anything to say otherwise." He pulled Stuart towards him and hugged him close and kissed him deeply. "I love you so much Stuart, I didn't lie earlier when I said I loved you in front of those girls. Do you think I would have pushed that girl off me if I didn't love you? I said it and I mean it." He growled again and grabbed the singer by the shirt collar and drug him to the bathroom. He ripped his clothes off a little hastily and then his own. He started the water to the shower and turned back to Stuart.

"I'm tired of this feeling of gin on me. I'm not leaving you alone." He said without any room for argument. He grabbed his arm and pulled him in to the shower, pushing him against the wall and kissing him passionately.

"If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have kissed you on stage." He said between kisses and continued. "I wouldn't have let you Dom me like you did, I wouldn't have come out to your parents with you, met my mom with you, asked you to marry me." He went down to his neck and bit him multiple times and kissed him. "I love you Stuart." He growled.

Stuart felt how he was sad after everything he told him. But well he needed to be honest in the end. Murdoc was asking for something serious. He listened to his words and his tone of voice. Murdoc meant that, really. Stuart smiled seeing how determinate he sounded. He shook his head at each question he made that demanded an answer.

He was surprised when dragged to the bathroom. He gasped and yelped when his clothes were torn apart. He curled himself a bit defensively hesitant about what Murdoc would do. He was even more surprised by that sudden kiss. He smiled and melted at the sensation, as he was much more sensitive due to Molly.

He heard his words and felt his knees giving in. He nodded to each thing he said. "I believe you.... I love you too, Muds...." he said between each kiss trying to hold him close and feeling goose bumps going through his body. "I'm so sorry you had to know what she told me.... I don’t believe a word she said...." he moaned lowly.

Murdoc growled and bit Stuart's lip a little harder till it bled. Then he looked up at Stuart, "I think you believed it for just a moment.... And that's your punishment." He said rolling his hips into him and kissing him again. He could taste the blood. "You're mine...." he said between deep kisses. "Mine. Fuck what others think."

While he did that, his hands came down and gripped his ass. Then his right hand slowly moved over and he slipped a finger inside Stuart. He wasn't sure why but he wanted to dominate the singer right now. He felt like he doubted him for a moment and now he needed to prove him otherwise.

Stuart felt his lip bleeding but he didn’t mind at all.... It hurt but Murdoc close made him feel lots of other good sensations that made him forget the pain. He nodded frantically and pulled him even closer. "I'm sorry...." he whispered.

When he felt that finger he bit his sore lip and arfed and wrapped one of his ridiculous long legs around his waist pressing Murdoc against himself "only yours...... More please..." he whispered wrapping his arms around his shoulders. He totally wanted to be dominated now. He wanted to feel he was Murdoc’s after all that happened.

Murdoc smirked and took his finger away and put Stuart's leg down off him. "Wait here like a good boy, I'm gonna grab lube." He chuckled as he hopped out and went and grabbed his bottle he had. Then he came back and, still smirking, handed Stuart the bottle.

"You're gonna get yourself ready. And no jerking off. Still getting punished." He said, moving back a bit to enjoy the view. "Turn around so I can see, stick your ass out." He demanded. He was in a very dominating mood suddenly.

Stuart waited patiently a bit dizzy cuz of the water drugs and all sensations at once. He was blushing by this time. His cock was already hard and he was about to touch himself when Murdoc came.

He nodded to his orientations and turned around sticking his ass out not arguing. He placed his face against the cold wall and closed his eyes. He tried to keep balanced so he held the best he could the wall. "I'm sorry... Please...." he whispered.

Murdoc watched the kid. He sort of felt bad for him but he was gonna dominate this kid either way. He tutted, "No Stuart. You gotta finger yourself first. Be a good boy and prepare yourself. I’ll even help you out." He said.

He grabbed the lube bottle and poured it all over his ass, then he slapped it, hard. He backed up again. "Finger yourself Stu or I’ll jerk off on my own and you can stand there all night as punishment. I would like your punishment to be my cock, but that's up to you now." He said, almost a little evilly. He started stroking himself.

Stuart yelped after that slap. He wasn't ready for that but he nodded obeying. He shyly started fingering himself moaning in the process. He wanted more than anything to Murdoc fuck him as a punishment but he wouldn't beg for that.

Soon he started fingering himself with 2 fingers. He bit his sore lip again and groaned in pain. He heard him stroking himself and hit cock throbbed. The hand resting on the wall bailed into a fist and he spread his legs even more. He was about to put a third finger, moaning a bit louder now, controlling himself not to beg. He thought he wasn't allowed to talk.

Murdoc smirked, "Why are you so quiet Bluebird. Sing for me. Moan, beg, tell me what you want me to do. Maybe I’ll do it. Maybe......" he said as he continued to stroke himself.

He watched Stuart finger himself, it was erotic to say the least he walked up a little closer and slapped his ass again. "Talk...." he demanded.

Stuart yelped again with his slap "Please.... I want you inside me......" He mumbled quietly "My fingers aren't enough......" He was honest with him "please punish me the way you want......" He begged moaning "make me yours.... I need it...." He pressed his fingers even more inside him. "Fuck...."

He turned his face a bit backwards showing his large smirk to Murdoc, his red face full of lust and desire.

Murdoc saw his smirk and laughed, then smacked his ass again, harder. "I said this was a punishment. No smirking love." He added a finger with Stuart and enjoyed watching him beg and moan.

"I don't think you're sincere enough. I want you begging hard. Convince me...." he said, leaning over Stuart and licking his neck up to his ear and nibbling on his ear. He pushed his cock up against him, showing him how hard he was.

Stuart immediately stopped smirking going back to his neutral face turning his gaze back to the wall. He grew desperate. His body was craving for Murdoc, every fiber of his being. He put his body even more backwards trying to reach Murdoc. He tried hard to put his thoughts in order to beg to Murdoc.

"I'm so sorry......." he whispered "I'm sorry I heard that girl...... I'm sorry I got drugged I'm sorry......" he took off his fingers and put his hand against the wall again "I need you.... Please.... I'm so sorry...... You're my husband.... My love...... My King...." he slurred "Do what you want with me I’ll be good promise...." he bit his lip harder trying to sound convincing. He sighed pressing his forehead against the wall "Mu’doc is God." he said in a good tone, hoping it would work.

Murdoc bit his lip, that was exactly what he wanted to hear. He grabbed his hair and pulled his head back roughly. "What am I?" He said into his ear as he slowly started to push into him.

When he was going to say 'God', he slammed into him hard, still holding his head back by his hair. "Keep saying it as I fuck you." He commanded as he started thrusting in an out of him.

Stuart was about to answer him again when he slammed inside him and he shouted. "GOD, Murdoc is.... God...." he said between pants, moans and curses. He felt so good, so complete so full filled. He felt amazing. He was so sensitive he could feel his body screaming for more.

"Oh fuck.... Please God.... Pull my hair, slap me...... Bite me...." he begged while his legs felt like jelly "fuck me hard.... And make me beg for each second of it...." he said breathlessly.

Murdoc smirked and pulled the kids hair as he slammed into him. He made him turn his head a bit to expose his neck and bit into it. Then he licked it and nibbled it.

"Fuck you're delicious." He moaned out. He fucked him harder, slapping into him. He reached around and started jerking him off. "Beg for my cum." He chuckled, licking into his ear, still pulling his hair.

"Fuck......" He almost yelled "please lemme cum Muds.... I'm so sorry...." he said in a whisper "I need to cum..." he bit his lip while Murdoc slammed I to him mercilessly. "And please cum inside me......" He begged breathlessly.

Murdoc didn't even need a second to think, he slammed into him a few more times and with a final hard thrust he came inside him. His orgasm rolled over him hard, he let out a choked moan. He continued to jerk Stuart off.

"Cum, now." He growled into his ear. "Or I’ll really punish you my little cumslut." He nibbled on his ear.

Stuart couldn't hold it back. He didn't want to be punished anymore.... Or he wanted? Well all he could think about now was how much he wanted to cum. He whole body was sensitive so it was hard not to.

He came hard with a loud moan messing Murdoc’s hand and the wall. He gripped it hard scared he would fall or pass out.... He rested his forehead again against the wall. "Muds.... Help......" He whispered.

Murdoc helped lower him to the floor after he came. "Good boy...." he said, sitting down on the shower floor with him. He had Stuart lean back against him as he pet his hair. This was always a calming moment after sex.

"How are you feeling love?" He asked softly, holding him close. He rested his head on Stuart's shoulder. He pulled the kid as close as possible. "I love you...." he whispered.

Stuart couldn’t feel his legs and his whole body was shaking. "I feel good...." He whispered to him "just a bit dizzy and nauseated that's all...."

He turned his face to the side and looked at him "I love you too Muds...." He said grabbing his arms around him. "Thank you...." He smiled "am I forgiven....?" He asked softly.

Murdoc smiled and kissed the back of his neck. "Yeah.... I think so.," he brushed his wet hair to the side and kissed farther up his wet neck. "My sweet Bluebird...." he said softly. He loved Stuart so much, he never wanted to let the kid go.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked softly. "You know I love you right?" He continued kissing the back of his neck. Stuart was so soft, he also loved kissing his soft skin.

"I love you too......" he whispered back turning around to kiss him on the lips "I know...." he turned his whole body to look at him. He cupped his face with both hands looking into his eyes. "I really.... Do.... Love.... You...." he whispered between kisses.

He run his fingers through his hair "you make me so happy....  So complete...." he whispered to him. Placing his head against his chest to hear his heartbeat. He wrapped his arms around him "Muds...." he curled himself getting closer him.

Murdoc smiled and pulled him close. "I like when you call me Muds.... Have I ever told you that? It’s a lot better than the nicknames I got as a kid." He rubbed Stuart's back.

"I'm sorry it hasn't been as fun here as you thought it might be.... I know being the front man is hard.... But we wouldn't have Gorillaz without you. I'm grateful I hit you with my car." He chuckled and kissed his head. "I don't know where I'd be without you...." he sighed happily...

"You like?" He lifted his head and looked into his eyes "I always thought you just got used to it but didn't even like......" he giggled looking down blushing

"Yeah.... This band is a blessing in my life...... You finding me and all that happened.... He said with a smile. "Really...." he caressed his face "that's okay Muds.... We can have fun ourselves right?" He rubbed his nose against Murdoc’s broken one "Thank you for asking me to join your band...." he whispered "I'm so glad you're here with me...... You picked me...... Of all people, my love...."

Murdoc smiled and rubbed his back. "Yeah actually. I did hate it at first. I won’t lie.... But honestly, it really grew on me. Now I think it's cute when you do love...." he whispered. "It's a lot better than the  names I ever got as a kid...." he said quietly.

He nodded to Stuart's little suggestion. "We can have fun on our own. I just want you happy okay? Promise you'll tell me if you aren't" he said. Tilted his head up to kiss him deeply, then he smiled slyly. "Maybe we can try videotaping you being dom." He chuckled.

Stuart kissed him back and smiled "Not Dom and drugged Muds...." he felt bad he hated it in the beginning by he already knew that. It was too intimate and sweet...... Murdoc would never like that. "I can do it when I feel better.... I think if I try to move a bit more I’ll puke...." he said chuckling. "Can we do it other day, love?" He asked softly smiling to him.

Murdoc pet his hair. "Oh of course. I didn't mean now you little horndog." He teased him and kissed his forehead. He was excited, Stuart was a surprisingly good dom.... And to be videotaped as the sub. Murdoc was practically drooling at the mouth. He nuzzled into Stuart neck. "I love you so much...." he said softly. This was the best moment for him.... Ever, he felt. This was what love it. Being calm, content, fantasizing about your lover, just all this stuff. It was truly wonderful.

Stuart kissed his head back. He felt calm and much less paranoid than before. He knew Murdoc was his and this wouldn't change. He hugged him tight and sighed happily "what are we gonna do tomorrow Muds....?" He whispered softly.

Murdoc shrugged. "I dunno. Why don't you decide tomorrow Bluebird. I have a brochure you can take a look at. The sky is wide open." He chuckled. He was curious maybe what kind of activities the singer might be interested in. He started washing the singer’s hair.

Stuart nodded feeling his hands on his hair and smiling "we decided tomorrow...." he agreed happily. "Something that doesn’t involve more people huh?" he joked half meaning that. He didn’t like other people with them at all. Only caused trouble. Even fans were causing now. He felt bad at it.

"Hope the effect of this thing goes away...... I need to sleep at least a bit...." he looked down to his own legs not feeling them properly yet.

Murdoc chuckled as he washed his hair. "You should be good soon. We'll try to sleep and see how ya do. I bet you'll sleep like a baby tonight actually. It's been a long day." He said as he then washed out Stuart's shampoo and started his own.

"And we can do whatever you want. People, no people. I’ll follow you and put up with anything just for you love." He kissed his cheek as he then began washing his own hair. It felt good to get all that alcohol and sweat off of him. He hoped Stuart kinda felt the same, even if he was drugged.

Stuart nodded happily "thank you my love.... I’ll think about something " he loved him giving him attention. He tried to get up and help Murdoc do the same. "I really hope I sleep Muds.... Or tomorrow I’ll be knackered...." he chuckled.

"Has been a long and wonderful day, love...." he said absentmindedly kissing him.

Murdoc nodded and kissed him back. "Alright, come one. Off to bed, or at least we'll bloody try." He chuckled. He finished cleaning off and helped Stuart up from the shower. He then helped him to bed and laid down next to him. It was dark, quiet, peaceful, calm. He wondered if that would help Stuart sleep now. It'd been a few hours, he should be coming down, yeah?

Stuart tried to call himself down but everything kept spinning. He sighed frustrated. "Muds...... Would you mind singing to me....? So I can sleep....? No problem if you don't want to...." he asked lowly and embarrassed. "This thing still keep me awake...." he pouted laying on his chest. He started playing with his chest hair.

Murdoc put an arm around him and nodded. He couldn't think of what to sing, suddenly being put on the spot. "Uh.... Anything you wanna request Bluebird?" He chuckled nervously. He had some ideas but maybe knowing what Stuart wanted might help. He was the one requesting he sing after all.

Stuart stood some moments thinking about what for him to sing. "What's your favorite song Muds....?" He asked softly "sing it for me.... Please...." He nuzzled his face on his chest. "Anything you please......" He tried to call himself down.

He was still drawing a blank, the only thing that stuck into his head was their song Latin Simone, still stuck in his head. He decided to just go with it, so he started singing.

"Give up if you wanna survive. Get oh so alive in your life. Everything falling out the sky on top of you, now what you do? Fill yourself up now, it's the love of your life. Shallowly on me. All I know, before it's gone. I always feel it's getting you down, if nothing's wrong.... What's the matter with me? What's the matter with me?" He rubbed his back as he sang. He really liked that song when Stuart sang it.

Stuart whispered the lyrics together with him feeling a bit better...... He felt calmer and relaxed laying on his chest. He smiled and closed his eyes playing with his chest hair "You really like this song don't you Muds...?" He asked innocently. His head spinning less.

Murdoc nodded. "I do.... I like both versions but you only sing the English version." He chuckled, rubbing his back still. "It's been stuck in my head a little today. Is it helping any?" He was looking up at the ceiling, the moon being the only lighting in the room. It faintly showed a glow over Stuart.

Stuart nodded weakly "yeah it is my love...." He whispered to him "you smell really nice you know that?" He chuckled feeling each time more and sleepier. He tightened his arms around Murdoc and wrapped a leg around his waist. "I love you...."

Murdoc chuckled as he said he smelled nice. "Really? That's a first." His hand came up and played with his hair. He was happy he was appearing to calm down. He liked having his long leg wrapped around him as he slowly fell asleep, sleeping hard.

Stuart nodded to him. He meant he smelled nice. After a shower even more. He soon fell asleep still clinging to Murdoc drooling on his chest.

He had many dreams that night. Effect of the Molly he had previously. Good and bad dreams. He was sweating and moving a bit trying to go back to sleep. Mumbling and whispering Murdoc’s name.


	58. Back Home

Murdoc held the kid close as he woke up, hearing him mumble his name. He kissed his face over and over. He looked at the clock and saw it was pretty early in the morning.

"Stuart...." he whispered fondly and pet his hair. He didn't necessarily want to wake him up, but want to calm him down. He wanted the kid to be able to sleep a little more peacefully.

Stuart pouted and tears escaped his eyes silently. He held Murdoc close while having a nightmare. He was dreaming he was running from something in a dark place, but he couldn’t let away from it. He didn’t know what he was running away from. The voice of that girl kept telling him Murdoc would hurt him again. That he shouldn’t ever had forgiven him. He wouldn’t change.

"No...." he mumbled while tears fell from his eyes. He was desperate to get away from her and her voice. He grabbed Murdoc and sobbed, his whole body shaking. Murdoc became alarmed when he grabbed him, beginning to sob. He knew the kid was having a bad dream. He sat up a bit and pulled him close onto his lap. He tried to wake him up.

"Hey. Stuart, sssh. Hey it's okay love. Wake up Stuart." He said, gently shaking him and brushing back his hair. He had a layer of sweat on him, obviously panicking. He kept hearing him mumbling and he kept wiping tears from his face.

Stuart soon managed to finally wake up.... He woke up in a start and soon started crying and sobbing hugging Murdoc. He curled himself and pulled his legs up to his chest sitting on his lap. "Muds...... Muds...." He whispered. "Don't leave me.... Don't ever hurt me...." He begged after feeling desperate cuz of the dream. He sobbed a bit louder grabbing him.

Murdoc was startled by him saying that. He froze for a moment before wrapping his arms tighter around him and holding him close. He rested his head against his and put a hand in his hair.

"Hey.... It's okay love . I won't. I promise. I won't ever hurt you...." he said desperately. He hadn't really been expecting this at all. He was having a nightmare about him?

Stuart sniffled and lifted his head looking into his eyes.... "Muds I'm sorry I didn’t mean to...." he whispered taking a deep breath "It was just a bad dream.... That’s all...." he cuddled into his embrace. "I'm sorry..." he thought that could still be effect of the drug he took. He hoped he didn’t ruin anything. "I believe you.... You  won’t do anything bad to me....  I know it...."

Murdoc didn't say anything. He just held onto him, wondering if Stuart was truly worried about that. Did that girl really get into his head about that? He wouldn't actually hurt Stuart...... Would he? Not now, now with the shit they've been through. He just hugged him tighter and kissed his forehead.

Stuart after some moments wiped his tears and sniffled. He silently broke the hug and stood up going to the bathroom. He thought he was already causing too much problems for a morning. Murdoc’s silence told him that. He sighed and entered the room looking at himself in the mirror. He had dark circles around his eyes but thankfully, they were black. He still felt a bit dizzy and before he could do anything he felt the urge to puke. He ran to the toilet and put everything he had in his stomach out kneeling in front of it.

Murdoc sat there as Stuart left the room. He looked into the darkness and just watched and listened. He hoped Stuart would be okay, he said he wasn't worried about what that girl said.

Suddenly he heard him vomiting and he scrambled up to get to Stuart. He stumbled into the bathroom and saw him bent over the toilet. He ran up to him and put his hand on his back, rubbing it. He got up and grabbed a wet rag, putting it on the back of his neck.

After putting all out he sighed "fuck...." and wiped his mouth. He sat on the side of the toilet feeling drained. He looked up at Murdoc and tried to smile "I'm feeling better now...." that thing should cause nauseas. "I’m sorry......" he whispered and closed his eyes.

Murdoc wiped his face with the rag to clear off the sweat and tears then pulled him over to him. He was on the floor with him and he pulled Stuart into his lap. "It's okay Stuart. No need to apologize." He whispered. "You're truly feeling better?" He asked, brushing his hair back gently.

"Yeah, I am.... I think now everything that was inside me went out...... I feel like myself again...." he chuckled leaning on him. "I just think I’m so weak for those things......" he smiled "Good morning love......"

Murdoc smiled softly at him and nodded. "Morning.... And I’ll make sure to not give you any drugs,  yeah?" He chuckled, brushing back his hair and just sitting with him in the dark.

Stuart sighed "besides my pills, Muds, no drugs at all...."he chuckled and after some moments stood up. He went to the sink to wash his face and mouth, after turning on the lights. "I dunno if its effect still but I'm starving...." he said dramatically. "Will you cook for us or we can order something....?" he joked. It was too early in the morning to order anything. He hoped he could lift the mood a little so they would forget the previous incident with the nightmare.

Murdoc watched him get up and wash his face and mouth. He nodded to being able to make something to eat. He was still a little upset the kid was thinking he'd hurt him so he didn't say anything. He got up and started to head to the kitchen. "I hope you're in the mood for eggs." He said, going into the fridge and bringing them out with some other goodies.

Stuart followed him silently "I'm totally in the mood for eggs Muds.... Anything you please...." he said with a soft smile sitting down at the table. "Thank you love...."

Murdoc nodded and started making breakfast. It was a good way to keep his mind off things. He just mindlessly made some omelets and a fruit bowl without really saying anything other than asking Stuart a question or two. Only one thing kept popping into his mind. Does he really think I’ll hurt him still? It was a little heart wrenching for him, to think that deep down Stuart might still be scared of him. When he finished, he put the food on the table and gave Stuart his and began eating.

Stuart noticed he was much more silent than normal.... He frowned and grabbed his food thanking him from at

 "Muds.... What's wrong?" He said softly not starting to eat yet and looking at him. "Please talk to me..." he smiled the best he could to make him calmer. "It looks delicious love, thank you...." he whispered.

 The ambient was really calm, just them, and the waves crashing. Some birds singing. Murdoc’s behavior didn't match with where's they were. He needed to know what was wrong.

Murdoc shook his head. "Nothing, I'm fine. Just tired maybe." He lied, taking a bite of his omelet. He didn't want the kid feeling worse than he already was. He gave him a small smile.

He kept wondering if Stuart was afraid of him deep down. Murdoc hadn't wanted to hurt Stuart in a while.... Did that mean Stuart still didn't trust him? He supposed that was only fair. He gave a small sigh, suddenly not very hungry.

"Can you please stop lying to me?" He said suddenly more serious. "I know when you're lying Muds and it's not time for that.... We're in the middle of a trip and I really want to have a good time with my fiancée." He frowned his voice sounding a bit more certain.

He placed his fork down and looked at him. "Was it yesterday? Today earlier? Tell me. Please." He managed with his long arms to reach for Murdoc’s hand and squeezed it. "I know you're not tired Muds...."

Murdoc looked at him, surprised by the sudden seriousness Stuart had. He was sort of expecting him to not really want to talk about it. He swallowed and looked down for a moment before looking back up.

"You think I'm still going to hurt you...." he said without hesitation. "What that girl said last night got to you...." he said a little quieter. He swallowed again and looked down at his food, picking at it with his fork. "I said I was sorry.... I've tried to make it up to you.... I don't know what else to do...." he said sadly.

Stuart's heart broke hearing his words. His face dropped and he hated how Murdoc looked totally sad. He hated that girl and he hated how her words really got him. He needed to prove otherwise to Murdoc.

He stood up all of a sudden and grabbed him by his hand dragging him back to the bedroom. He was pissed at the girl not at Murdoc. But he felt like doing something with his fiancée.

He placed Murdoc sitting on the bed and straddled on his lap looking into his eyes cupping his face. "Mu'doc. I love you. I’m so in love with you." He said equally as serious as before "I know you won't hurt me." He kissed his forehead "Please lemme show you I love you okay....? That I trust you.... That what she said meant nothing...." he rubbed his nose against his.

"Mu'doc I’ll marry you. How could I marry the person that will hurt me....?" He tried to soften things a bit to Murdoc. "I want to make you mine......" he whispered into his ear rolling his hips against him.

Murdoc was even more surprised when he brought him into the bedroom. He wasn't sure what Stuart was doing or planning. He sat on the bed, looking at Stuart through his fringe and listening to his words. He gave him a soft smile near the end and he sharply inhaled in surprise when he whispered in his ear and rolled his hips against him.

"R.... Really?" He asked, curious as to what Stuart wanted to do. He bit his lip and shivered, suddenly excited.

Stuart smirked. It was really nice seeing Murdoc that interested and hesitant. He was really shaken about the girl's words. Much more than Stuart was he could tell.  He nodded "I want." He began kissing his neck with desire.

When he rolled his hips he moaned lowly cuz of the friction of them. He kept making out with Murdoc to put him on the mood for sex, something that wasn't that hard actually. "We could make.... The  tape you wanted being sub......." he teased licking his earlobe whispering into his ear.

Murdoc tilted his head to the side to let him kiss his neck. His hands came up and held onto Stuart's sides. He gave a little chuckle. "Well, if you want."

When he heard the boy moan, his shorts became uncomfortable in a mere matter of seconds. Then when he suggested the tape his eyes widened. "What? Really?" He was suddenly super excited. "You'd want to do that?" Be asked eagerly, closing his eyes as he licked his earlobe.

"Stop asking Mu'doc... Of course I want and I’ll do." he ordered back suddenly getting into Dom mood, pulling out his lap and looking for the camera. He set it to film.

"Why don't you take your shorts off baby?" He offered gently starting to film him with a large smirk on his face. "I'm really interested in making you mine...." he teased knowing the camera would record that. He didn't know what exactly he was doing but he would try.

Murdoc’s eyes widened even more as Stuart became a little dominating. He swallowed and smiled. "Y-yeah okay." He said, standing up and taking his shorts off like Stuart commanded.

"You can do whatever you like, love." He teased, sitting back down and gently stroking himself. He bit his lip, he was already excited.

Stuart smiled and leaned closer him slapping his hand from his cock not so gently. "Did I allow you to touch yourself? Don't think so...." he teased back placed the camera in a strategic place that could film them both.

He grabbed Murdoc’s cock with his own hand stroking him, going back to kiss his lips neck and bite them. He loved teasing him that way. Between each kiss he looked into his eyes trying to be intimate and not just fucking him. He needed to show Murdoc he wasn't scared of him.

Soon he laid Murdoc down on the bed kissing him all over. His hand slowly stroking him not enough to make him close to cum. He wanted to tease him and make him beg to be fucked. Besides it was really interesting the way they were in the camera, Stuart all over him.

Murdoc frowned when he slapped his hand away from his cock but smiled and let out a low moan as Stuart took his cock in his hands and kissed him. He could tell how tender and intimate Stuart was being and he loved it.

When he laid him down, his hands came to the side and he gripped the sheets. He bit his lip and watched Stuart, waiting for him to do something more than just stroke him. He whimpered and let out a little moan as he tried to thrust himself in Stuart's hand.

Stuart noticed him enjoying his sweet touches. He thought he was doing a good work at least. The singer smiled when he tried to thrust himself in his hand. "What do you want love....? Need to talk to have it...." he whispered but loud enough to the camera.

He teased Murdoc by pressing a finger on his entrance while he nibbled his nipple. He liked doing that and he knew Murdoc enjoyed it. He turned himself to the camera so he was almost embracing Murdoc and he could capture his face well. He wanted to see it afterwards how Murdoc was being submissive to him.

Murdoc didn't even notice the camera, he was too busy trying to get Stuart to touch him more. He whimpered when he touched his entrance and bit his nipple. He arched his back and closed his eyes.

"Fuck.... You know what I want...." he growled. "Fuck me...." he panted in a pleading manner. He bit his lip. He wondered if he could get away with touching himself if Stuart wouldn't notice. He slowly brought his hand up and stroked himself while Stuart was busy looking at his face.

"You're so gorgeous...." He said trying to distract him. A giant sly grin was on his face.

Stuart was slow but he quickly noticed he grabbed his hand pulling it away by pressing it against the bed and interlacing his fingers with Murdoc’s in a romantic way.

"This is not a way to get what you want...." he said seriously "why don't you use your other hand to stretch yourself so I can do what you want huh?" He teased leaving a hickey on the sweet spot he knew Murdoc had in his neck. He knew he would be embarrassed doing that.

Murdoc whimpered as he pulled his hand away. He pursed his lips then bit his bottom one. He gave a small moan as he left hickeys on his neck. He looked up at Stuart and tried to give him a charming smile.

"Why don't you do that? You know those long fingers are good for that kind of stuff." He laughed. He was being a little resistant, curious how the boy would react. A part of him a little afraid Stuart would just cave, but you never know.

Stuart rolled his eyes thankfully due to his lack of sclera Murdoc couldn't see it. He decided to look for the lube to prepare himself as Murdoc was being really stubborn and that was annoying the singer.

He lubbed his fingers and pressed 2 inside him at once as he was impatient fingering him mercilessly. He let go his other hand and attacked again his mouth with rough kisses. He wish he could cut Murdoc’s lip but he didn't have any front teeth for that. So he tried the best he could kiss him and finger him at the same time. "Spread your legs for me, love...." he whispered into his ear.

Murdoc watched with a raised brow as the kid gave in so easily. Well that wasn't as fun. He thought he'd try to fight him a little at least. Stuart seemed mildly annoyed, maybe if he'd push his buttons a little more he'd finally snap and start taking charge......

Murdoc moaned as he pushed his fingers into him. He arched his back and closed his eyes. Two fingers immediately and so rough surprised him, but it felt so good. When he asked him to spread his legs, he smiled slyly, taking the opportunity to push the kids buttons again, "Make me...." he said, biting his lip, unable to contain his smile.

Stuart definitely was annoyed now. He took his fingers off him and kneeled on his both thighs making him spread his legs the most he could. He took the opportunity to grab his arms and press them against the mattress while he kissed Murdoc.

He was totally on the Satanist at this time, with his cock rubbing against his entrance but he wouldn't fuck him. Not yet. He looked to Murdoc and smiled threatening to push inside him but not doing it.

His long fingers moved to his throat squeezing it and he brushed his lips against his not kissing Murdoc. "You're so annoying...." with his other hand, he slapped his face not so gently.

Before he could yell or do anything, he kissed him shoving his tongue into his mouth and with his free hand squeezing his nipple. The hand around his throat just tightened and his cock kept rubbing against his entrance.

Murdoc purred as he spread his legs, about to laugh at how easy the kid was. Then Stuart wasn't pushing in and he frowned a bit. He was about to argue when the fingers closed around his throat. This surprised him a lot. This mixed with him brushing his lips against his and calling him annoying all turned him on more than he thought possible. His cock throbbed painfully.

Then he slapped him, hard. Another pleasant surprise, followed by a kiss and squeezing his nipples. His senses were overwhelmed and he had no idea how to react. He just moaned as best he could with Stuart squeezing his neck. He smiled and he looked at Stuart with have lidded eyes full of love and lust. He could feel his cock throbbing and starting to leak more precum.

Stuart smiled seeing that smile. He was easy to please with just tiny stuff. He remembered how he liked to feel pain. Quickly he had another idea. He kneeled on the bed grabbing the camera and pulled Murdoc by his hair to do the same. He was tired of being soft.

He smiled again, his own cock leaking precum like a faucet. "Suck" he ordered seriously still pulling his hair. "Now." The camera was directed to his face while he grabbed a handful of his hair.

He smiled again and grabbed his face with his index finger and thumb roughly "put this pretty mouth of yours to do something better than responding." He slapped his face again, harder this time.

Murdoc gasped for air as the grip on his throat was let up and he followed as his hair was yanked a different direction. He saw the kid grab the camera and when Stuart's cock was by his face, he understood what he wanted. He smiled wide for the camera.

Then he grabbed his face and slapped him again, even harder. The side of his face stung and he could feel it getting redder. He took a moment before smiling again and putting his mouth around the head of his dick and using his tongue to lick around it and lap up the precum dripping from it. His own cock was so hard, he couldn't stand it. He whined a bit wanting to touch it as he felt it ache and twitch.

"Hands on your back" he ordered again, it would be more difficult for Murdoc to touch himself doing that. He moaned his name and grabbed his hair again with his free hand savoring the moment. He kept filming his face and smile. "Fuck you do it so well, love...." he purred letting him suck the way he wanted. He would force his cock and fuck his mouth if he misbehaved. Not need to do it now. He just enjoyed the moment

Murdoc put his hands behind his back as commanded. He could feel his cock twitching more. He loved being commanded like that. He kept moving his tongue around his cock, moving it down his throat as he bobbed his head. Eventually he got it fairly far down and held it there as he looked up at Stuart with watering eyes. He was trying to smile as drool fell down his chin. Finally he pulled back to breath.

The scene Stuart was capturing was inebriant. He barely could believe that. He loved each minute of it but he knew what would happen if he kept that way. He placed the camera back on the nightstand and kept Murdoc away from his cock.

He roughly turned himself around and put him on his hands and knees. He grabbed his hair again pulling his head up till his mouth was near his ear. With his other hand he slapped his ass, really hard. He pressed his cock against his entrance but didn’t put it into. He moaned lowly and bit his ear. It was a nice vision for the camera as well. His hand went to his cock stroking it in a steady pace, but he wouldn’t let him cum.

"How bad you want me, slut?" he asked into his ear but loud enough for the camera record... His smiled was from ear to ear. He knew Murdoc was eager from him. "Convince me...."

Murdoc grunted when he pulled him up by his hair. His heart was racing, he had no idea what Stuart would do next but he was absolutely loving it. This kid knew how to make him weak, he loved it.

He listened to him ask him how bad he wanted it after slapping his ass. He gave a low moan and his tongue stuck out as he was breathing hard. This was delicious for him, he could feel his cock just dripping down precum. Then when he started stroking him too slow to do anything he let out a small whimper.

"Bad.... I want you bad. I want your cock.... Please.... I’ll do anything...." he panted and begged. He hoped that was good enough, he couldn't think straight. All his blood was elsewhere away from his head. "Please master...." he whispered in a last ditch effort.

Stuart shivered hearing him being called like that. He smiled even more.... "Hmmm...... Don’t think this is enough......" he teased. "Who am I?" he slapped his ass again harder this time. He liked punishing and make Murdoc begged that way. He wanted to show how a moaning mess he was.

He started stroking him faster and only stopped when Murdoc was about to cum, denying his orgasm. He laughed seeing him squirm and cry in protest "call me like that again......" he leaned into his ear "Call me like this while I fuck you...." he grabbed his by his hips digging his nails into the flesh but not entering him still. That was a cruel game he wanted to play.

Murdoc let out a grunted moan as he slapped his ass again. When he started stroking him, he arched his back. He was actually fairly close already, the slapping and choking getting to him easier than expected. He was about to cum when Stuart stopped. He let out a whimper and shook a bit. His dick throbbed and dripped Stuart whispered into his ear. He was panting and letting out little whimpers.

"Fuck...." he said as he felt his nails dig into him but didn't penetrate him. "Please Master...." he let out breathlessly. "Please fuck me, I’ll call out Master the entire time...." he said without hesitation. His tongue hung out and he panted and moaned from all the sensations. "Please...." he whispered.

This was enough for Stuart. Humiliating enough...... Murdoc wouldn’t believe when he saw the result. He roughly pressed his face against the mattress making him fold his arms. With his both hands he put Murdoc’s arms behind his back and held them there by his wrists.

He entered him all at once and started thrusting him mercilessly. Murdoc’s face was against the mattress and Stuart grabbed the camera quickly with his free hand, filming Murdoc in that humiliating position. He smiled "Who am I?" he asked louder while fucking him. He kept balanced holding Murdoc’s hands on his back.

Murdoc moaned into the sheets as Stuart started fucking him. It felt so good to be stretched and filled, his cock ached for it. He kept moaning and grunting into the sheets, his hands stuck behind his back. He could feel the precum dripping down onto the bed as Stuart slammed into him.

He turned his head to the side to breathe and try to listened to what Stuart was saying to him. It was difficult to say the least, he was feeling so fucking good, it was hard to concentrate. He had no idea he had the camera in his hands.

"Master.... My master!" He moaned out. He was drooling into the sheets now and his lids were half lidded. He didn't care what Stuart wanted him to say, he'd probably say it at this point. He was moaning as loud as he could, enjoying Stuart slamming into him.

Stuart just smiled seeing his lover that way cuz of him. It felt like heaven. He took after some time a good close of his ass while he fucked him slowly. He started a painfully slow pace while he was begging for more and calling his master.

To help Murdoc and be a bit mercifully he placed the camera back to the nightstand and started stroking him while fucking, to drive him crazy. He slapped his arse a couple of times as well and scratched his back moaning how he felt good, how he loved him and how he was a whore.

He loved degrading Murdoc in sex. His cheeks were already red and swollen, his back full of red lines. He smiled at that slamming into him feeling his own orgasm close.

Murdoc moaned and whimpered as he went slower. "Faster.... Please master." He begged. He couldn't see what Stuart was doing from that angle. He was so grateful when he stroked him, also when he scratched and slapped him. It felt so fucking good. All those sensations were just so overwhelming.

He loved when he called him a whore. He grunted out "Fuck yes.... I'm your whore...." he closed his eyes and knee he was close. "I'm gonna cum.... Can I come Master?" He panted out. He could feel it building up in his groin, ready to explode. "Please?" He cried out as Stuart slammed into him.

Stuart smiled not expecting him to ask for cumming. He started stroking his even faster "Cum now or not anymore" he said lowly feeling his own orgasm hit him hard. He came deep and warm inside Murdoc moaning his name in a broken voice. He kept stroking him to make him cum hard. His other hand rested on his hips. "Whore...." he mumbled.

Murdoc lost it when he called him a whore. He came hard, letting out a grunted choked moan. He turned his face to the sheets and cried out into them. He felt his whole body tremble deliciously as his orgasm rolled through him. He was breathing hard and drooling as he slowly came down from it.

Stuart grabbed the camera again after Murdoc came to film the moment he took off his cock from him. He oozed cum and it dripped on the bed. He smiled again ending the record calling him a pretty whore and caressing his head. He placed the camera again on the nightstand.

He quickly turned Murdoc around placing him on his back and gave him a big bear hug, laying on him practically. He had a huge smile and wanted to pamper and peppered Murdoc with kisses. He still had the mission to show him he wasn’t scared of him.

Murdoc was breathing hard and shaking as Stuart pulled out of him. He closed his eyes and smiled, exhausted from the rollercoaster of experiences he just went through. He felt almost high from it, the adrenaline still coursing through him.

He was surprised when he flipped him over and started peppering him with kisses. He smiled and held him close. He felt loved and cared for and was so thankful Stuart did that for him. He buried his head into his neck. "Thank you...." he mumbled, still a little breathless.

Stuart was breathless as well. He smiled to him lifting his head so Murdoc would look at him "don’t need to thank me love.... I love you" he said excitedly hugging him. "Are you okay?" he asked kissing his lips. He looked into his eyes with passion and love. "I...... Know you won’t hurt me...." he whispered more serious. "I'm not scared." he smiled even more and kissed his forehead cupping his face.

Murdoc listened to him and felt his heart warm. He smiled wide and pulled him in close with a hug. "I fucking love you and I promise.... I won't hurt you...." he whispered. He kissed the side of his head as he pet his hair. "You're my love...... Mine...." he said.

The rest of the trip turned out wonderfully. It seemed to pick up after that, with him and Stuart finally focusing on just each other. By the time they were coming home he felt like they were closer than they'd ever been and he knew they'd made the right decision to come here.

For part of the rest of their time together, they even wrote a few songs that had been half finished from before. Some songs that they decoded to show Noodle and Russ and see if they wanted to put them on a side album. Murdoc couldn't have asked for a better time spent than writing music with Stuart. That's what came naturally to both and it was so smooth and relaxing They always ended up getting a little too close when they'd been working for hours and they'd end up shagging. That was, of course, one of Murdoc’s most favorite parts.

When it was finally time to leave, he managed to convince Stuart to let him have a few bottles on the plane so he wouldn't spend all the time panicking. They didn't get to sit next to anyone exciting, so they kept to themselves this time. Murdoc snuggled with Stuart the entire time. He being drunk helped to make him extra cuddly.

They finally arrived to the airport and Murdoc was functionally drunk. He was able to walk with Stuart out to a taxi that took them to Kong. He held his hand the entire time, behaving himself.

For Stuart the trip was amazing. The time he spent with Murdoc was priceless, what made it unforgettable. He could finally connect with him after so many years trying that and being neglected and abused.

He liked the results of the songs and sex was always amazing. Specially if they made love and not only shagged. He was even a bit sad after leaving Jamaica.... He wanted to stay there lazing into the warm water and not freezing in UK. But they needed to work again and he knew that. Stuart was excited to record the videos and give interviews go back to his old famous life.

The whole trip back was peaceful. Even drunk Murdoc wasn't rude or angry. He managed to keep his anxiety down and Stuart managed not to be bothered with him drinking. Besides that cuddly Murdoc was all he could have asked for 24hrs flight.

Once inside the taxi to go back to king Stuart held his hand back squeezing it from time to time "Excited to be back home, love?" He asked smiling. The trip felt like a dream while they got closer to Kong.

Murdoc nodded, resting his head on Stuart's shoulder. He was still a little too drunk to really focus. He knew he just wanted to cuddle with Stuart right now. Even if he'd been drunk the ride was still a little stressful.

He opened one eye, "Are we close?" He said, slurring ever so slightly. "I'm ready to go home, as long as you're there...." he mumbled, burying his face into his shoulder. He didn't want to be separated from Stuart at all. He felt so close to the kid after this trip, he was acting like a lovesick puppy.

Stuart chuckled and rubbed his shoulder "Yeah we are Muds.... Just some more minutes...." he liked that needy and clingy Murdoc...it was really different from the one Russel and noodle were used to. He smiled thinking about their reactions to this "new" Murdoc and the photos.

He looked through th window and the gates of Kong were close. He smiled. "What you want to do when we arrive love?" He asked softly caressing his hair.

Murdoc looked up lovingly at Stuart. "I want us to lay on my bed, completely naked as I serenade you with my bass." He gave him a goofy smile. The taxi driver cleared his throat, not minding what they were saying but just trying to remind them they weren't alone. Murdoc didn't notice.

"Then I wanna kiss all over your naked body. Your beautiful naked body...." he mumbled into his shoulder. He wasn't necessarily horny, he just wanted to show Stuart that he loved him. The taxi driver was a little uncomfortable but trying to remain professional.

Stuart nodded to him noticing how the driver was uncomfortable...He petted his hair loving this drunk Murdoc. "We can do all that if you want my love...." he was really tired after the trip. "I'm all yours..." he whispered to him and booped his nose smiling lovingly.

"I miss hearing your bass...." he confessed. After so long at the beach Stuart missed music whole. And even Murdoc’s Winnie he missed. They travelled using it.... It brought him good memories.

Murdoc held onto Stuart's arm, smiling fondly. "I’ll play for you all night love." He said happily. He was so excited to spend all his time with Stuart at Kong. He didn't xare what Russel or Noodle said. Stuart was his now and forever.

When they got home, Murdoc stumbled out of the taxi, grabbing bags and they walked to Kong. He tried to get them to go straight back to his Winnie but they were obviously greeted by the other two.

"Hey guys, how'd it go?" Russel said, Noodle running in and hugging them both. Murdoc grunted and gave a soft smile to Noodle. She scrunched her nose and laughed. She looked at Stuart.

"Murdoc’s drunk." She said, letting go and walking over to the couch to listen to their trip, and going through one of the bags she grabbed from Stuart. She found Stuart's camera. "Do you have pictures?"

Stuart smiled differently from Murdoc wanting to see the others and talk to them about the news. They had plenty of time together and he missed the other band mates.

"Hey Russ.... It was awesome. " he said with a bright smile still holding a drunk Murdoc on his arm "he drank a bit on the way back...... Nervous flighter...." he explained vaguely why he arrived home already wasted. Even Murdoc not being the way he was when he got drunk anymore he felt like explaining before Russel got mad or noodle did something. Not a good first impression reaching home already drunk after one week appart. He was a changed man, he needed to prove that.

He hugged noodle with a smile. He missed the tiny girl, well not that tiny anymore. He was about to tell her they had picture but suddenly he remembered the videos. He "Unhugged" Murdoc quickly and took the camera from noodle. "Is-is really rude grabbing the stuff of other people without permission y’know that Noods?" he tried to sound like an older brother or a father. "I’ll pass them to my computer and show you...." he promised with his face slightly red from embarrassment. He looked at Murdoc with pleading eyes, that he helped him with the lie.

Russel nodded to Stuart's explanation behind a drunk Murdoc. "Yeah, I remember. Last year when we traveled to America, the guy drank practically an entire bottle of jack. He hates flying. Glad to see him acting a little better thought." He teased as he saw Murdoc  holding onto Stuart's arm as if it was keeping him from falling through the floor.

Murdoc seemed to balance himself okay as Stuart walked over to Noodle to grab the camera. He looked over at her and laughed. "N-Noodle darling, we-we've been over this. You don't go looking through cameras, specifically ones I have probably gotten a hold of, yeah?" He slurred a bit.

Noodle looked at Murdoc then at Russel who only nodded in agreement. She sighed and shrugged, giving up. Murdoc pat and ruffled her hair. "Good girl." He turned to go walk down the hallway. "I gotta wiz, I-I’ll be right back." He mumbled.

Russel turned to Stuart. "So it really went well with him?"

Stuart sighed in relief seeing that everyone agreed Noodle should leave the camera. He didn’t took the videos off it yet and would be traumatizing and embarrassing her finding out about them. He held the camera with a smile.

He nodded to Murdoc still a bit worried he could get hurt or don’t find the way to bathroom as drunk as he was. But he ignored those thoughts hearing Russel. "Yeah, Russ. The only bad parts were the other people there flirting with me and him all the time when we were in public, this caused us some problems" he frowned a bit remembering the accidents they had. "Besides that Murdoc is really improving and we had time to work on songs and talk about ourselves during the trip.... We're really close now and happier than ever.... Ready to go back to work." he smiled.

"He also give me this" he showed him his ring "so people would.... Not bother yknow? The real ones should come soon...." he explained softly. "And how you and noodle have been, any news? Have you seen the photos and the announcement I posted on the internet?" he asked curiously. He really missed the two.

Russel and noodle listened to his explanation and his stories. Russel crossed his arms and shrugged. "Yeah we saw. We got plenty if questions and stuff but oh well. Got lots of mail about it, put that all in your room. Otherwise, we've just been hanging out and doing our own thing. Noodle's been waiting for Murdoc to see how he wants to do the El Mañana video shoot."

Noodle nodded and continued, "I want to see what he wants to do with the island. He was talking about crashing it but we need to get specifics on what he means. Glad you two had a good time. I like the ring." She said, grabbing his hand and looking closer at it.

Stuart raised a brow emails? He would have a lot of work if he really wanted. But a part of him wanted to just let it go. He didn’t want to give anymore explanations about their lives than he had already given. He nodded to him. He offered his hand to her "I’ll talk to him when he's a bit more.... Sober... So he can tell you and discuss ideas.... " he smiled seeing that noodle liked it. Crashing the island sounded a bit too much and dangerous, but oh Murdoc’s idea how he would expect anything different from that eccentric? Besides he was the owner so if that was the idea, it was it.

"When we're recording it?" he asked noodle, as she was in charge of the new album "you already recorded Dare one?" he thought maybe they could have recorded while they were away.

Noodle nodded, excited. "Yeah! Dare went great. There's just one or two things you and Murdoc have to record for it. The El Mañana I wanna record.... Soon." She shrugged, not too worried. "You said you wrote music?" She asked, eagerly.

Meanwhile Murdoc had gone to the bathroom, but he sat on the floor cause of the spinning. He fell asleep like that, in the most uncomfortable position between the toilet and wall. He was drunk, he didn't care.

Stuart nodded "yeah, we created, me and Muds.... For the next album maybe...." he went to his bag catching the paper of material they had. "Here.... You both may take a look...." he offered them the papers they created together so they would be busy. He noticed Murdoc was taking time in the bathroom and he was worried about it. "I’ll check on Muds.... You both know how he gets when drunk right?" he chuckled nervously leaving them with the papers. He could talk to them about what they created when Murdoc was sober. He knew he didn’t want nothing to do with music right now.

Stuart looked through the bathrooms of the house finding Murdoc in the last one. Thankfully the door was open and he didn’t knock at all. His eyes widened seeing Murdoc unconscious sitting on the floor. He looked around, no sign of puke, or that Murdoc fell on the floor, no blood. He was scared he could have gotten hurt.... But how drunk was him? He felt awful he didn’t prevent Murdoc from reaching that horrible state. He kneeled next to him calling him in a sweet voice "Muds.... Muds talk to me, you're all right?" he tried not to sound worried failing in that

The two took the papers and Noodle examined them pretty well. She noticed how some looked like finished songs to some early examples they had done earlier. This might be good d-side material. She looked at the ones Russel had, concluding the same thing. She was surprised they got this all done while they were gone.

Murdoc stirred a bit, opening his eyes slightly to see Stuart crouched down in front of him. "Huh? O-oh yeah I'm okay love. Just take a nap is all." His head went to resting against the wall again. He gave a wide smile with his eyes closed. "You should join me." He slurred, bringing his hands up to try to grab him.

Stuart smiled feeling relieved, at least Murdoc wasn’t hurt, just drunk. His heart stopped racing for a moment. "I may join you, love, but not here...." he took some deep breaths and tried to catch Murdoc on his lap. He smelled like booze but didn’t struggle at all. "Hold me, Muds..." the singer smiled going with him to his bedroom that was the closest one. He wouldn’t be able to carry him to the Winnie and he knew that.

He placed Murdoc on his bed slowly and went to put the curtains on place and take off Murdoc’s shoes. "Better now....?" he asked softly. He couldn’t let Murdoc in the position he was. He would wake up full of pain. Soon he finished and took some of his pills, taking off his stuffed animals from his bed and laying next to Murdoc taking off his own shoes as well. He noticed someone washed the sheets and the blanket, it smelled really nice. He put Murdoc on his chest and kissed his forehead. "Please if you want to puke tell me first okay?"

Murdoc held on like his life depended on it. Being drunk, he felt like everything was spinning and if he let go, he'd just collapse to the floor. He felt the singer lay him on the bed and help him take his shoes off. When he felt him get into the bed as well, he laid on his chest and wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling into his chest.

"I love you...." he mumbled after nodding to his comment about him needing to puke. He fell asleep quick, just happy to be home. Everything smelled like Stuart, it smelled familiar and good. Meanwhile the other two helped them out by taking their bags to Murdoc’s Winnie. They figured with Murdoc being as drunk as he was he probably passed out somewhere and Stuart had to take care of him. Noodle took the music Stuart gave her and started working on making it.

Stuart after some time end up sleeping next to him, even not really tired. Murdoc was so warm and his words sounded so sincere, he felt so loved.... He smiled and soon was sleeping soundly.

After what looked like two or three hours, he awoke. He felt really rested and slightly confused about what happened. He looked down and saw Murdoc on his chest. Stuart smiled soon remembering what had happened. He rubbed his shoulder.

"I'm so glad for this trip, Muds...." he said lowly thinking Murdoc was sleeping. "You made it special, the best trip i ever had in my whole life... Just cuz you were on my side all the time......" he kissed the top of his head. "Thank you so much, love......" he pulled him close. "can’t wait to marry you.... To work again with you...... Anything as long as its with you...." he chuckled lightly. "I love you."

Murdoc only partially heard Stuart talking. He was still pretty much asleep but he knew it was loving words from the tone of voice and the kiss to his forehead. He nuzzled into Stuart's chest and mumbled a "love you."

Russel knocked on the door, hoping to get either of their attentions. Noodle wanted to work on the songs they'd written and only that could get the tone they were looking for. Russel volunteered to grab them in case they were messing around.

Stuart heard the knock and due to the strength of it he knew it was Russel knocking so probably was something serious. Well they weren’t doing anything wrong were they? Just sleeping. He carefully put Murdoc back on the bed and went to the door to talk to Russel.

"Oh hey...... Sorry I disappeared, Muds fell asleep on the bathroom's floor.... He was tired after the trip.... I brought him to my room and we end up sleeping...." he smiled embarrassed "did something happened? You guys need us?" he smiled cordially opening the door so they could see Murdoc asleep on his bed just like he mentioned. He wasn’t lying and they weren’t shagging.

Noodle saw Murdoc and laughed. Russel shook his head, "No, little Noodle here wanted to work on the songs you guys made so we can put them on the D-Sides and get that out. We only need one of you two, just so we can make sure it's heading in the right direction. Can we split you up from your fiancée there?" He chuckled.

Murdoc readjusted himself so he was on his side, rolling himself in the covers. He started snoring. Noodle giggled and looked back at Stuart. "Come on 2D. Please?" She asked.

"D-sides?" he loved the idea smiling brightly. "Oh I can help you both...." he said excitedly. He loved music and working with it "I know pretty well what we created so i think i may let Muds sleep a bit more...." he said blushing when he called him "his fiancée". Even they two already got used to the idea.

Stuart put a hand on his mouth not to laugh when he snored "O' course babygirl...." he said leaving the room and closing the door behind him softly. "In what specifically you guys need help?" he smiled wide.

Noodle took Stuart to the music room, showing him what they had already. She then asked several questions, like wanting to know if a tempo was supposed to go faster, slower, a different way entirely, etc. She wanted to make sure she found what they were wanting. She liked what they'd wrote, but she knew the boys didn't always out down exactly what they wanted.

Murdoc woke up a little later, noticing his wasn't on Stuart anymore. Instead of opening his eyes, he reached his arm out trying to find him, but failed. When he was met with nothing but more bed, he concluded the kid had left. He took a few minutes to wake up.

When he finally did, lazily opened his eyes and looked for his phone. He decided he could check messages while he was waking up. All the messages he'd neglected for a week. He found a bunch of boring ones from producers and such, then he got a bunch from fans and haters. He noticed he received a lot of pictures of half naked women asking for stuff like merchandise or tickets, It never failed to make him chuckle. He deleted them before Stuart saw them. He continued to sort through his emails a bit longer.

Stuart was happy he was working with music again. It was surprising how Noodle improved after some years in producing and recording music. He definitely thought it could be a good album. He just hoped when Murdoc woke up or later he would see their progress and give his opinion as well. He wondered about going to the bedroom again to see if he woke up but he decided against it, staying in the music room for as long as Noodle wanted. Even Russel was taking part in the process and he liked this detail.

Murdoc, unfortunately, noticed some messages from Jimmy Manson he'd missed. His attention was a little more alert. He'd honestly forgotten about the guy, hoping he'd give up.... He didn't. Murdoc looked at the messages and they were all the same thing, asking when he's get back to him about the guitarist position. He rolled his eyes and decided to message back. He told he was working on it. He honestly had no idea what he was going to do, hopefully something came to him soon.

He decided to get up and go find Stuart. He stretched and got some Tylenol for his hangover then slowly made his way through Kong looking for him. When he found him, he found all of them in the music room.... With the music they wrote. He smiled and walked in, sitting on the couch in the back, just watching them and smiling.

Stuart was the first one to noticed Murdoc into the room. He looked better and rested. He smiled to him "Hey love, noodle offered us to work on the music we were making in the trip......" he explained vaguely what they were doing, happy as ever.

"Here take a look...." he offered him the material they had with a smile "Noods wants to discuss with you the details for El Mañana footage... The whole island crash and everything...." he looked at the tiny girl talking nonstop as he was really happy. He just decided not to greet him with a big hug or lots of kisses not to make him embarrassed or Russel come back with his jokes. Stuart just wanted them working as a real band without any fights or arguing. They would have time for that later.

Murdoc nodded and got up to look at everything. Noodle smiled at him and turned to play the samples they had. Murdoc was standing right next to Stuart and their hands were really close. He closed the small gap by wrapping his pinky around Stuart's. Subtle but still close.

He listened to Noodle's examples and liked them so far. "That's good. Really good actually. I like what you have so far.... So I heard something about El Mañana? We decided to have the island crashing down yeah?"

Russel nodded, "Yeah, Noodle suggested she be on the island while it starts to go down because of the helicopters. It'll be a continuation of feel good. I think it's a pretty good idea actually."

Murdoc looked at Stuart for his opinion. He wasn't exactly comfortable about putting Noodle on the island while it's getting shot down. He was curious how Stuart felt about that. He was actually surprised Russel was okay with it at all.

Stuart bit his lip. This didn't sound any careful specially with noodle. He knew she was a warrior and all that but she was just a child 14 years old. But we'll noodle who gave the idea. He squeezed his pinky around Murdoc’s

 "Well, you all think this is.... Safe? I mean is Noodle gonna have a way to escape the island before it crashes down.... A parachute or something?" He looked at all of them. Of course it was a stupid question. They wouldn't let noodle fall to certain death. But no one told about security or anything. "You really want to do that, Noods?" He asked looking at her his face even more worried now.

He wanted to say it wasn't a good idea and he didn't want that but he thought no one would care for his opinion or wouldn't even listen to it. It was just all planned. He couldn't ruin everything disagreeing now. He swallowed hard.

Noodle nodded, "We'll have a parachute I’ll use to jump off. It should be fine." She said. Russel nodded.

"I made sure it was fool proof that she couldn't get hurt D. It's all good. We even picked a spot to crash the island where it'd be safe." Russel said, trying to reassure him. Meanwhile Murdoc has a small idea in his mind.

"You wouldn't be going into the windmill on the island would you?" He asked slowly. Noodle looked up at Russel and then back at Murdoc.

"I'd run in and hide in the bottom part. Why?" Noodle asked. Murdoc shook his head.

"Nothing.... Just curious love...." he said slowly.

Stuart frowned to him. Why all of a sudden he wanted to know where she was gonna be? And well everyone reassured him so he only one worried was him. One against 3, he lost. He shrugged trying to look nonchalant. Later he could ask Murdoc about the windmill.

"Well that's okay for me too...." He said not so sure about what he was saying.  He forced a smile to reassure the three and took his hand off Murdoc’s folding his arms to pretend he wasn't nervous.

Murdoc noticed the kid let go of his hand. He looked back at Noodle and smiled at her, ruffling her hair. "Good job love. Stuart and I are gonna go unpack and get settled in, yeah?" He wrapped his arm around Stuart's waist and walked him out. He walked them to his Winnie.

When they got there, he looked at Stuart. "What's wrong?" He asked. He sat down in one of the chairs and put his feet up. "Come sit on Uncle Mudsie's lap and tell him all your problems." He teased him as he pat his lap.

Stuart blushed hard when he called himself uncle Mudsie. He silently sat on his lap and sighed. It was ridiculous actually, he was just too tall for his lap. He was about to start unpacking but decided to give his fiancée attention. He noticed he didn't even greet Cortez after arriving.

"I don't like the idea of the video. I hate it actually. The island crashing or noodle jumping off with a parachute, it's dangerous unsafe and if something goes wrong I would never forgive myself. She's just a child Muds. Everyone calls me stupid but this idea that is stupid." He said looking down extremely worried and upset avoiding his eyes "Mu'doc if it goes wrong she could die!" He said upset. No one seemed to care about that besides the singer. He felt stupid but losing noodle was something unbearable for him.

"And why you asked her if she was going to be into the windmill?" He said more seriously narrowing his eyes and folding his arms.

Murdoc put his hand on the small of Stuart's back, his other on his thigh. He looked up at him and listened to him, nodding.

"I mean, Stu, she's a super soldier. I think she can handle jumping off an island. I think you're worrying over nothing. My sweet singer, worrying about the super soldier." He teased him, running the hand up his thigh towards his groin.

He was surprised Stuart had noticed him ask about the windmill and he didn't want to tell him. He tried to distract him by running his hand up Stuart's thigh. He couldn't let him know about Jimmy, it'd only worry him more.

Stuart felt even more stupid being the only one to disagree and worry about noodle. He stood up silently when he noticed his hand going up his groin. He was suspicious about Murdoc but already forgot the question he didn't answer. He knew what he wanted to do, distract him. This made him hurt and angry. Made him think no one care about what he felt. Specially Murdoc.

"For you she's a super soldier, for me she's family." He said seriously grabbing their bags to unpack. He was upset and Murdoc acting like everything was okay and mocking him made 2D even angrier. He focused on the bags ignoring the bassist.

Murdoc was surprised when Stuart stood up and started getting a little angrier. "Why are you angry? The kid will be fine. She went to Japan over the summer by herself. I'm sure she can handle a parachute." He stood up and tried to put a hand on Stuart's shoulder so he'd look at him.

Family his mind repeated to him. She was family. That’s exactly it. That's exactly why he was doing what he was doing, but he couldn't have Stuart know. "Listen to me Stuart.... No one's going to hurt her...." he said sternly. No one he repeated to himself in his mind. Without realizing it, he was gripping Stuart's shoulder kind of hard.

Stuart frowned when he noticed the trip tighter around his shoulder. He turned around looking at him. "She better not get hurt, Mu'doc" he said in a much darker tone. Warning him. Something told him Murdoc knew something he didn’t. But what? "I'm angry cuz I'm the only one thinking about her security here and you all act like it's normal what's she's going to do. That nothing could go wrong." He was just worried as a bigger brother or as a father. He really loved noodle. She was the glue that kept the band afloat.

 He turned around unpacking things again. "You three agreed with that, i didn’t. Just know I was against since before it happened. And don't come apologizing if anything goes wrong with this idea." He said seriously. "And if you're hiding anything from me I won't forgive you." All that idea was just really odd for Stuart. Their videos weren't like that at all. And he liked the island so why destroy it? This sounded really stupid and unnecessary for the singer. And he was the only one stupid there.

Murdoc let go over Stuart and frowned. "And you don't think I don't care about her at all? Nothing's going to go wrong Stuart. I just don't get why you think that. We're Gorillaz, it's Noodle. She's a big girl now, yeah?" He said, laughing nervously. "I promise you, nothing will happen."

He frowned when he mentioned the hiding something. "Why do you think I'm hiding something? I'm not hiding anything, promise my love." He said, trying to get Stuart to look at him. He wasn't sure if Stuart would listen to him or not or believe him. He hoped so.

Stuart sighed. "Okay, Muds." he gave up arguing. "I’ll believe you." he said seriously separating the dirty clothes to wash and putting the sex toys back into place. He has previously washed them before the trip still not looking at Murdoc. "I'm sorry I'm worried about Noodle." he again apologized for something he shouldn’t have. He didn’t think she wasn’t capable she just wanted her safe and the whole idea was crazy.

'I’ll be there watching the record to make sure nothing happened...." he really wanted to be away when they were recording it, he knew he would get desperate when Noodle jumps of with her parachute. He ignored the part of hiding; he believed Murdoc wasn’t hiding anything.

Murdoc growled and then grabbed Stuart's wrist, pulling him over to him. He pulled him close and put their hips together, holding his waist. He cupped his chin and had him look at him. He gave him a soft smile.

"Stuart.... Don't apologize.... You don't need to and I know you're just being a smartass. You trust me don't you? Noodle will be fine okay? Trust me my little blue haired beauty. I will make sure everything will be okay." He whispered to him, waiting to see what he was going to say.

Stuart looked down to see him. He frowned. "I’m not being a smartass. And i trust you." he said seriously. The way he was praising him a lot just didn’t buy Stuart. He was being charming and Murdoc only was charming to get what he wanted or when he was lying, avoiding something. Stuart was slow and stupid but he knew something wrong was going on that he might not be able to prevent. He knew Murdoc for years to tell that.

"Just please lemme unpack the things and sorry but I’ll only be okay when this stupid recording is done...." he said honestly. He wasn’t in the mood for anything now. "Please just make sure things will be all right." he asked looking into his eyes with his pleading ones. The image of the island-crashing going over and over again into his mind.

Murdoc frowned, not sure why his charm didn't work. He let go of Stuart to do his unpacking. The kid was more perceptive than he thought. He sighed and went outside for a cigarette.

He lit his cigarette and leaned against the side of the Winnie. Home sweet home he thought. He couldn't see Cortez anywhere, but he wasn't worried. He'd come around eventually.

"You're going to fail." He suddenly heard next to him. He flipped around and saw no one. He felt the paranoid feeling he had had a while ago and he suddenly became really nervous. He frantically looked around, desperate to find someone who had said that.

Stuart was unpacking things looking distant and serious. He wasn’t mad at Murdoc or anything, just worried about Noodle. He noticed him smoking, he didn’t go out or away so it was a good step.

After some moments of him unpacking he noticed Murdoc flipping around looking nervous. He looked at his face and noticed how desperate he looked. Then Murdoc started looking around and Stuart didn’t understand what was happening. He put the amount of dirty clothes on the bed and grabbed Murdoc by his shoulders trying to catch his attention.

"Muds, what's wrong?" he asked him "what are you looking for?" he asked thinking he might have lost something. There wasn’t anyone with them into the Winnie.

Murdoc jumped when Stuart touched him but he still continued to look around. "Uh.... Did you say something earlier?" He asked. He had goose bumps and he had the sense of doom almost. It was something he couldn't shake. He looked at Stuart desperately once more.

He bit his lip, "I'm not gonna fail." He started muttering to himself, looking frantic. He was holding onto Stuart's arms tightly, maybe a little too tightly. He was feeling scared, for the first time.

"No Muds I was taking care of our stuff... I didn’t say anything." he said looking into his eyes. He heard what he said "Fail? Fail in what, Muds?" than the grip around his arms went tighter. He quickly embraced the Satanist, really worried about him muttering to himself. He decided not to do anything about it, just keep him close to calm him down. It was another episode of his paranoia and Stuart knew that. He was talking about Noddle? He couldn’t ask till Murdoc calmed down.

Murdoc was thankful for the hug. That was exactly what he needed. He nuzzled his face into Stuart's neck and hugged him tight. He shook a bit and he was trying to calm down. His breathing was fast and he knew he needed to slow it down.

After a few moments he finally felt like he was going to be okay. The paranoia was finally going away. "What's wrong with me....?" He asked hesitantly. He knew he'd had a few episodes already while in Jamaica, he had no idea what was going on.

Stuart noticed him calming down and slowly guided him to sit on the bed together with him placing the clothes aside. He held his hands and looked into his eyes "Muds...... I want to know what's happening...." he said seriously "If you don’t know tell me what you know.... You know its not the first time you have those.... Things and I'm starting to seriously worry about you." he said squeezing his hands

"I love you, please talk to me...." he pleaded with his worried eyes. He lifted his hands up and kissed them always looking into his eyes. "You won’t fail.... In whatever you want to do.... And if you fail I’ll be with you too, I promise" he said absentmindedly trying to sound supportive for Murdoc. The only one knowing what was happening was Stuart so he needed to be there for him. He needed to know what on earth was scaring Murdoc that much, and he knew when he was lying or being avoidable.

Murdoc kept hold of Stuart as he talked to him. He didn't want to let go, he was worried Stuart would suddenly disappear. He wanted to make sure he stayed with him. He looked up at him. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but nothing came out. He wasn't sure what to say.

"I’m...... I.... I don't know Stu.... I keep...." he swallowed unsure if he should tell him. He wasn't going to do or say anything but this was really starting to freak him out. "I keep seeing.... Things.... And hearing things...... That aren't there...." he said quietly, looking up at him. He bit his lip, wondering what Stu would say.

Stuart took a deep breath. "I wasn’t sure if i.... Should tell you this.... Cuz I didn’t know what was happening with you but..." he looked down at his hands. "you know....  I used to cut myself, right? I told you that i enjoyed the pain and all that but......" he closed his eyes. "Sometimes.... I heard voices telling me to do that...." he shivered "I told my parents I was.... Having this.... Issue.... And they told me it was only a side effect of the medicine I took for depression...." he looked into his eyes, he wasn’t lying.

"After some years they stopped.... Or when they come I manage to ignore or not obey them...... It's rare, only in cases of extreme stress, depression, pain, anxiety or when I exaggerate my pills.... But it hadn’t happened in a while." he confessed "I thought I was the only one.... Broken like this...." his eyes watered. "It used to scare me a lot in the beginning, I cried and yelled them to stop, they told me horrible things, Muds.... And when i told my parents and they didn’t believe me.... They said i was sick and forced me to go to the church and all that.... I never had the courage to tell anyone i heard them ever more, cuz I was afraid I’d scare people too. I was scared. But i know how you feel...." he smiled weakly.

Murdoc listened to his story, slightly horrified. He felt horrible for the kid. He wasn't feeling any better about his situation though. He bit his lip and looked down at his hands holding Stuarts.

"W-What should I do?" He asked. "They went away for you? They just keep showing up.... They give me this sense of impending doom...." he whispered. "What do you do?" He asked desperately, looking back up at Stuart. Maybe he knew how to get rid of them now.

Stuart looked at him. Murdoc had the same face he made when he asked himself the same thing. "I.... Dunno Muds...." he whispered. "After so much time hearing them alone...... I got used to them.... I think......" he trembled a bit remembering how it was horrible for him the process. "I managed to ignore and not tell anyone...... I didn’t want to bother.... There are some.... Triggers that bring them up." he whispered again. He managed to do everything alone. And he thought he was alone.... Till this moment.

"Get desperate or cry or shout ordering them to shut up don’t help them going away, Muds. You just can hope for the best. I used to pray.... Distract myself.... Write down the opposite of what I was hearing. Some of that I used in our lyrics...." he said shaking his head. He needed to be honest "w-what they tell you......?" he wanted to share what he heard and he had no one to talk to, he didn’t want the same happening to Murdoc when he was there for him. It wasn’t fair.

Murdoc listened to him, his heart sinking this entire time. He didn't want to not be able to do anything about it. All his life the world tried to make him helpless and instead he turned it around and helped himself. He didn't want to hear that there was nothing he could do. He didn't want to suffer the same thing Stuart did.

He shrugged and looked down. "They tell me I’ll fail.... Or that you won't like something I'm doing for you.... When we were seeing all the birds, I thought I saw someone.... It felt so real." He looked out as if he was seeing it again. He held onto Stuart tightly.

Stuart sighed "I’m.... Sorry...." he didn’t know what to tell him.... He hugged him "they told me... I should cut myself.... I was.... A waste of space.... My parents believed I was a liar.... That......" he hugged him tighter "they didn’t love me.... That I was alone.... I had no friends.... I wouldn’t ever find someone to love......" he sighed. He always wanted to tell someone what he heard.

"Just.... Come to me when it happens.... Your secret is safe with me..." he said with a broken voice rubbing his back. I dunno what to do to stop...... But you're not alone..." he promised him whispering. "all they tell are lies, just know that. They tell you your worst fears.... Make you believe its real.... And" he went silent not to cry. He hid his face on the crook of his neck breathing his smell to calm down. He was suppose to help Murdoc but it hurt a lot finally having someone to talk to that wouldn’t mock him.

Murdoc was at a loss for words. He wrapped his arms around Stuart and held him close. He put his hands on his hair and ran his fingers through. He felt awful for the kid, and part of it also freaked him out. He didn't want to feel as helpless as Stuart.... Ever....

He let out little shushing sounds and held him close. "It's okay Stu. I'm here, yeah? I won't listen to the voices.... You're okay. You're safe." he said softly. He didn't want to make him even more sad but he had another question. He waited a few moments. "Did you ever.... See things too?"

Stuart bit his lip and nodded. "Once.... Or twice...." he whispered "I managed to forget.... I was really young...." he closed his eyes shut and held Murdoc hyperventilating. He was a child when it first happened much before he took meds.... After he fell and hit his head when his hair turned blue "It had.... Really red veins.... Broken feet.... I couldn’t see it's head but it had more than two human eyes.... I was scared.... Before it appeared I was feeling really helpless.... It came.... And I got even more scared......" he swallowed.

"I never talked to it.... Or heard it's voice.... But it appeared in my dreams too......" he confessed. "After the accident.... It appeared once more...... Then disappeared......" he whispered terrified. "Probably now you think I’m ever weirder right? I'm sorry...." he hoped he wasn’t scared of him now. Of how broken he was. His mind was really messy... Maybe it all was side effects and sequels of his accidents and loneliness. Of all times he hit his head. Murdoc probably side effects of his traumatic childhood and abuses he suffered.

Murdoc kept petting his hair, listening. At least it stopped for him right? That was good.... Just took a few hits to the head apparently. He swallowed and closed his eyes, pulling Stuart closer. "I'm sorry Stu.... And I don't think you're even weirder." He rubbed his back slowly and soothingly.

"Thank you for telling me love. I really appreciate that.... It's good to know I'm not alone...." he whispered, kissing his head. This didn't solve any of his problems though. Now he was worried it'd get worse, like Stuart's. It'd start to tell him horrible things.

"Y-you're welcome.... And yea we're not alone...." he whispered forcing a smile and breaking the hug "I-I’ll get this clothes to the laundry...." he managed to get up fast and do something, feeling he was about to break. He didn’t want to bother Murdoc with that as he had his own problems to deal.

"I’ll be quick promise...... Then I-I can come back to be with you...." he said turning his back to Murdoc. All the bad memories coming to him at once scaring him. He shivered and clenched his teeth grabbing the clothes. It was a bit too much for him to come all at once.

Murdoc felt bad. The kid seemed to be handling it really rough, like it was all coming back to him. He let him go and just sat there, staring at the floor. He wasn't sure that talk made him feel any better. If anything it made him feel more helpless and now he felt like he couldn't tell Stuart or he'd only hurt him more.

He swallowed as he started to feel another shiver down his spine. He saw someone move in the front of the Winnie and quickly got up to take a closer look...... No one. He bit his lip as his heart started to race and he began to panic. "Fuck this." He snarled. He quickly grabbed the bottle of alcohol from his fridge and started drinking it down. Then he walked to the bathroom and quickly threw his clothes off and hopped into the shower, sitting down in it and drinking.

Stuart went out to the laundry carrying the stuff along with him. He really didn’t want to bother Murdoc so he headed to his room and closed the door allowing him to have his silent brakdown. He threw himself on his bed sobbing and crying everything he needed. He shouted against the pillow and threw his fists against it letting all his fears out. He heard the voices again saw the creature again in flashed and felt totally lonely as he was years ago. A scared child. He shook and whimpered alone feeling desperate once again.

His head after some moments pounded from pain and he swallowed an almost handful of his painkillers. He felt like dying now. He was really worried about noodle and all memories that came back to him almost made him puke. He held tight his stuffed animals and waited all the bad feelings and pain go away. He decided to let Murdoc alone for that while. He felt a bit dizzy after some time as he had his pills with his stomach empty. He put his blankets up to his head and tried to calm down alone. He hope Murdoc was doing well.

Murdoc kept drinking in the shower, but it wasn't helping. He kept thinking he was hearing someone talking in his ear and he couldn't drown it out no matter how much he yelled at it to shut the fuck up. He reached out of the shower and turned on the stereo. "Fuck!" He yelled, turning it up as loud as it'd go.

"You won't save her...." was all he kept hearing. He kept telling himself it wasn't real, it was just his head. Then he started asking it why? But it never gave him an answer. He just kept drinking, trying to drown it out. He kept trying to replay what Stuart had said.

Stuart after some moments fell asleep from exhaustion. After a while he heard the stereo from the outside. He woke up in a start noticing it came from the Winnie and Murdoc’s voice shouting. He got really worried and got up quickly running down the stairs and entering the Winnie thinking Murdoc could have hurt himself.

"Mu'doc" he yelled but the music was louder. He growled in frustration. He discovered the loud noise was coming from his stereo. He turned it off, that thing was giving him headaches. The singer noticed the floor was wet, leading to the bathroom. He opened the door that was unlocked. He could hear Murdoc shouting them to shut up and that wasn’t real but there was no one there. He immediately recognized what was happening again. He was in the middle of a crisis and Stuart let him alone. He felt awful but there was still time to fix things.

He entered the shower not minding he was getting soaked wet taking the bottle away from his hand and holding him on his lap. He squeezed Murdoc and placed his head on his chest, so he could feel Stuart was there with him. His breathing and heartbeat. He didn’t say a thing just keeping him close under the water rocking back and forth. He couldn’t believe Murdoc was drinking again, he should be really desperate for that. He closed his eyes shut and let his shout as much as he wanted. He remembered when was his turn to do that.

Murdoc jumped when someone grabbed him and he suddenly realized it was Stuart. He noticed the bottle of booze was taken away and Stuart was hugging him close. He was clearly buzzed now from the alcohol.

"Give me.... Give me back the alcohol...." he mumbled in a slur, trying to pull away from Stuart and grab the bottle. "I'm fine...." he growled. He clenched his eyes shut and turned his head as he heard more whispers in his ear. "No, no I'm fine. I'm fine." He said.

He did notice they were going away, slowly. They were turning into lighter whispers and the feeling of paranoia was disappearing slowly. He decided to just let Stuart hold him and he held him back instead.

He put his forehead to Stuart's chest, disappointed in himself already. Disappointed he was already bugging Stuart about it. But he tried to reassure him. "I'm fine. I think I'm just stressed." He said a little shaky. It did seem that these episodes were caused by stress or something like it.

Stuart slowly broke the hug and looked at him. He knew he wasn’t fine, none of them were fine actually. He tried his best to calm the bassist down. But as he said he was fine he just gave him the bottle back and looked to another direction embarrassed with his actions.

"I'm sorry..." he didn’t think before entering the shower. His shouts were deafening he was just scared and hated seeing murdoc in pain or desperate. But he thought he did something wrong acting that way and murdoc was mad at him. He pulled his legs to his chest sitting a bit far from murdoc and looked down. His face was really red and puffy from crying and he tried to hide from him. If he had normal eyes they would be red as well now.

Murdoc was surprised Stuart gave him the bottle then scooted away. He looked over at the kid and noticed how red his face was. Even buzzed he knew what that face meant. He crawled closer to Stuart after putting the bottle down. He grabbed his hand and gently kissed it.

"Why don't you slip those wet clothes off and come here so I can cuddle you, yeah? I think you're my only medicine...." he whispered, hoping Stuart wasn't mad at him. Obviously, the kid needed him more and the voices were starting to disappear.

Stuart kept looking down embarrassed and started to take off his clothes the best he could. They were heavy and soaked but he didn’t mind. He after a while placed them aside and scooted next to murdoc curling himself silently. He didn’t want to bother. He placed his head on his shoulder and let out a shaky breath. How could he be medicine when he was as broken as murdoc? Maybe more broken than him. He curled himself even more shaking. "I'm sorry...." he whispered feeling useless.

Murdoc felt his heart ache for the kid. He bit his lip and held him close. He actually turned him and placed him between his legs so Stuarts back was against his chest.

"Hey...." he whispered. He could still feel that paranoid feeling from earlier but he did his best to ignore it and focus on Stuart. "Don't be sorry.... Thank you for helping me...." he whispered into his ear. "Were you crying?" He asked gently, as he wrapped his arm around his shoulders and kissed his head.

Stuart nodded "I'm weak...." he whispered. "I didn’t want to bother.... I swear...." he looked down silently crying again. "I was supposed to be helping you.... And I let you alone...." he hated himself for that. "I'm so sorry Muds.... All came at once.... I wasn’t ready...." he sobbed.

He turned around and hid his face on his chest trying to look smaller than he was. "I dunno what to do to help you.... But please lemme stay.... Please don’t be mad." he felt calmer in Murdoc’s presence. It silenced his demons. He never had no one in his crisis. He was worried that bothering murdoc he would leave him. The thought sent shivers down his spine. He thought his presence could at least help murdoc someway. His hand rested on his chest caressing it "I love you." he whispered.

Murdoc felt for the kid so much. He held him close and kissed his head. "I love you too. Of course you can stay.... You're the only one that can help me...." he whispered, rubbing his back. He picked his head up and put their foreheads together.

"Only you.... Stuart I promise I'm not mad.... You and always you have been my main concern.... Even if I didn't show it before. Understand? I'm sorry.... I'm here for you." He looked into his eyes.

He silently cursed himself for having this problem suddenly.... Well sorta suddenly. It seems like he might have to get something looked at by a doctor.... No, he refused to go. He'd fuckin get over it. Right now he needed to help with Stuart.

Stuart sobbed and nodded to him. "T-thank you Muds...." he whispered. "H-how can I help you....?" He chuckled "I'm just a cry baby... " he looked into his eyes with his glassy ones full of tears. "I couldn't even help myself...." he said caressing his face fondly. He run his fingers through his hair trying to feel murdoc.... Touch him made the singer calmer.

He kissed his lips his forehead and both cheeks trying to be even more fond. He smiled to him hoping he wasn't hearing anything else. Stuart focused in what he wanted to do with him back them to do with murdoc and see if it would help him.

Murdoc smiled at all the touches. "Honestly you just being here with me helps...." he whispered, kissing him deeply. He put hid hand behind Stuart's head and put their foreheads together again. "Just.... Never leave me, yeah?" He looked at him.

"Stuart you're not a crybaby.... You're a lot damn tougher than I would have thought. You've survived two car crashes, a couple years with me and all your shit as a kid.... You're pretty bloody tough Mr. Stuart Niccals." He smiled sweetly at him. He hoped he was helping the kid at least a little.

Stuart smiled feeling better knowing he could help even with so little. He would stay with him as long as murdoc wanted. He nodded to his request. He didn't plan leaving anytime soon. And even if they weren't together anymore he wouldn't leave due to the band.

He blushed to his compliments. "Thank you.... Actually some of this.... Strength I got using you as a model.... The strongest person I know so far..." he chuckled, mood lifting a little. Murdoc was helping him too. He thought that maybe after some time murdoc became his medicine as well.... As they say the difference between medicine and venom is the dosage.

"Think we're both pretty tough huh....? We're victories I guess...." he heard this from someone in the past.... He couldn't remember who but oh well, damaged brain. "Think we're even tougher when we're together helping one another.... The dynamic duo right?" he looked into his eyes again.

Murdoc nodded and chuckled. "I supposed we are huh? I don't think I'm that bloody strong mate.... How strong is someone who's an alcoholic who ruined practically everything he touches, yeah? My life wasn't any good till I met you......" he whispered.

"I'm so lucky Stu...." he smiled and kissed him again, this time keeping the kiss going just a bit, enjoying being close with him. He put his arms around him and pulled him close. He pulled away for a second. "Mr. Stuart Niccals.... I really like that." He chuckled. "Will you be mine, forever?" He asked with a soft smile.

Stuart felt bad at the comment he made about himself. He wasn't only that.... But we'll it was no time for arguing. He was strong after all years of neglecting  and hate he survived. He smiled and blushed hearing his life was better after they met.

He closed his eyes feeling that sweet kiss. He smiled kissing murdoc. He nodded "forever and ever!" He said excitedly and hugged him tight laughing. "Or halfway there when I get sick of you" he joked.

"Stuart Niccals...." he repeated to himself...it would be really nice having his Surname. "I wonder what the other Niccals would think about that if they could speak...." he wondered about Hannibal actually. He would be mad.

Murdoc shrugged. "My dad would honestly probably murder me.... He wasn't big on the whole freedom of sexuality. You know? He grew up in a different time. Somehow he got word when I was an older teen that I'd made out with a guy at a party and he beat my ass when I got home that day. Of course they didn't mention I was also with two women along with him, but I also got a few good punches in...." he chuckled, remembering that day. His dad had sucker punched him actually. Murdoc had been bigger and he fought back so his dad fought dirty.

He looked at Stuart. "I think after our talk with Hannibal, he'd be.... Okay now.... Maybe not great, but he's manage. You know?" He said. He supposed he should tell him soon. He would have to invite him eventually. "All the other Niccals are dead...." he said. As far as he knew anyways.

Stuart nodded to his story. He felt bad but it wasn't surprising. His father wasn't the best and he knew that "Well, counting with me now we have 3...." he chuckled "And we have your mother and the twins... They're not Niccals but part of the family anyway...." he smiled. He just hoped Hannibal would be okay with that. He wondered how his mother and brothers would react to the news.

Murdoc nodded, "I suppose.... How do you think your family will react? I think I'm more nervous about that. I barely got your dad to let me date you, now I wanna marry you? He'll probably think I'm trying to trap you...." he said slowly. He was honestly nervous about telling them.

"Oh unless they saw the message we put out? Did you get any messages from them?" He asked, a little hopeful.

Stuart was a hollow head so he didn't check his messages "only if they sent in my cellphone, Muds cuz the only message I had that wasn’t from fans were the one from Paula.... And I'm pretty sure my parents don't have social media or use the internet often Muds so they mustn't seen the photos or the announcement...." he shrugged. "Probably I would have to talk to them in person or send an invitation."

 He didn't want to talk to them in person actually he knew his father would freak out. "I could try and talk to them through the phone if you want..." he offered gently smiling. He would be hurt if they invited them and they didn't appear...... But it was a risk he was willing to take. He could talk to Murdoc’s mom as well.... He could do anything for murdoc to have the perfect wedding. "Could you imagine all our families becoming just one?" He chuckled "at least now he could tell his father murdoc had a family. And didn't want to destroy anything. "The Niccals-Tusspot-Almaraz family" he laughed at his idea.

Murdoc snorted. "Did you just say Tusspot?" He rubbed his nose against Stuart's and smiled. He was definitely beginning to feel better. "Hey, I do think we need to at least call and tell your parents.... Maybe your mom first and she can tell you dad?" He laughed. It was cowardly but it was worth a shot.

"Thank you Stuart.... I wouldn't be able to survive without you...." he whispered. He kissed his forehead. "No one would be able to pull you away from me by the way. I will fight tooth and nail for you...." he smiled.

Stuart nodded "I think it’s valid.... I can do it now if you want.... I mean when we're out..." he chuckled. Murdoc was feeling better he could tell. "I can deal with them and tell you how they reacted, you don’t have to tell anything...." he smiled.

He blushed with his statements "I-I’ll do the same for you, Muds.... I promise...." he whispered back kissing his cheek. "Pot...... I meant Pot...." he giggled.

Murdoc smiled. "Yeah, you might want to wait till we're out of the shower love." He laughed and brought his hand up to kiss. "And it doesn't matter now cause you're a Niccals." He said fondly. He tried not to think about what just happened, trying to stay focused on Stuart.

"Shall we get out and tell them?" He asked a little nervously. Now that they talked about it, he was anxious to get it done and over with. "I think I’ve spent enough time in this shower...." he said. He tried to stand up but he realized he was still a little unstable from drinking. He sort of fell back down and laughed a bit. "Sorry love.... Seems the alcohol got me just a bit...." he looked apologetically at Stuart.

Stuart chuckled feeling better. He nodded. Stuart was quick to stand up and help Murdoc do the same noticing he was wobbly from drinking. He quickly glanced to the bottle seeing it was just half empty, murdoc had drank a lot.

He hugged him and helped him out the shower giving him the towel "No problem, I take care of you...." he smiled. He felt he needed to make up for leaving him alone in the middle of a crisis. "Once you're fine I call them...." he hoped his parents weren’t really busy so he could talk to them. He noticed murdoc was nervous and was scared the voices would come back telling horrible things about him talking to his parents.

Murdoc smiled, "Thanks mate." He held onto Stuart as they managed to get to his bed. He pulled on a pair of jeans and flopped down on his back, looking up at the ceiling as it moved. He also felt like he was riding a wave or something. He was a little more drunk than he realized. He looked at Stuart.

"You.... You should call the Pots now. You'll be talking to them anyways right? It doesn't matter if I'm drunk...." he slurred out with a little giggled. "Let me play with your hair while you do it." He smiled, fixating on his blue hair.

Stuart followed him and put some clothes on. Those moments when they could rely on each other were really important for the singer. Much more than sex or anything. He laughed at "the pots" looking at him to make sure he was okay besides drunk.

He sat down next to him allowing murdoc to play with his hair with a sweet smile. He kissed his forehead grabbing his cell phone. He quickly looked through it seeing tons of messages about his post and the marriage. But he wouldn't be bothered to answer now. He called his parents and waited them to answer looking to murdoc fondly. He mouthed "I love you" to him while he messed his hair.

Murdoc blinked at him lazily and smiled. He wouldn't be able to hear them but that was okay. With how he was now, it was probably for the best. No sense in getting drunk and emotional for a situation like this. He mouthed the words back, or he hoped he did, they could have looked like anything honestly.

Rachel picked up the phone, "Hello?"


	59. Proposal

"Mum?" He asked when he heard her voice "Hi it's 2.... Stuart... " he smiled "Hhow are things?" He asked with a smile looking to Murdoc. He started caressing his face with his free hand. "Long time we don't talk" he chuckled a bit.

Rachael smiled wide, "Oh honey! Hi! How are you? I've just been thinking about you and Murdoc. How are you both? How's the band?  Things are going fine here, i’ve been keeping myself busy, your fathers been busy with work. I just recently went out with the girls and I got to brag about you. I'm so proud of you." She rambled on. She couldn't help it.

Stuart smiled hearing the tone of his mother "I'm fine Mom..." he said happily. He thought it was kind of her to think about Murdoc as well.... It was a nice surprise. "We were traveling recently.... To Jamaica.... Just me and Muds.... Working in our relationship y’know?" he chuckled "the band will go back afloat now that we're back to UK.... Much new material coming..." he said excited looking to Murdoc and smiled. "Actually mom, I called you to tell something about us.... Actually tell you and dad...."

Rachael got quiet. "Oh? What kind of stuff love? Is it good news? Did something happen in Jamaica? How was Jamaica? I heard it's lovely this time of year. Did you get pictures? You'll have to show me and your father." She sort of rambled again.

Stuart's head spinned with so many questions.... He cleared his throat "Actually they are good.... The trip to Jamaica was to celebrate our decision...." he said vaguely "It's really lovely, was Mu'doc's idea and he did everything to make me happy there.... Awesome really." he smiled to him. "We got lots of pictures and had an amazing time... Actually we posted on the internet some of them......" he rambled as well.

"but as I was saying, we made a decision, Mu'doc proposed me and I accepted...." he squeezed the phone between his fingers "We're getting married mom...... I'm engaged." he said finally, the color of his face disappearing and his hand trembling on Murdoc’s hair.

It was quiet for a moment as she listened and processed what he said. Murdoc held his breath and twirled some blue hair between his fingers. He was nervous for Stuart more than anything. He wasn't sure what he'd do if his parents gave him an ultimatum of any sort. He wasn't going to split up the Pot family, his father would probably murder Murdoc.

"Did you say engaged?" She asked, and then she started squealing. "Really?! Oh my Goodness! My baby boy is engaged!! DAVID!" She yelled out to her husband in the house somewhere. David came running, not sure what was going on.

"Honey, talk to your son, he's got big news!" She said excitedly, handing him the phone and dashing their plans of having her tell him.

"Stuart? What is it?" He said frantically. He had no idea what was happening and was worried.

Stuart held his breath as well and take off the phone from his ear so Rachel  could yell. He was pretty sure Murdoc heard her as well. He was hoping Rachel  would tell him the news and not.... Well he needed to tell his father this. He took a deep breath after hearing David's voice on the other side of the line. He instinctively held Murdoc’s hand scared.

"h-Hi dad..." he said softly, not as excited as before "I'm engaged...... To Mu'doc..." he said all at once "We'll get married soon, he proposed me..." he said all and squeezed his hand even more shaking totally terrified of his reaction.

David was silent a moment. In the background Rachel could be heard trying to contain her squeal of excitement. David stood there, unsure of what to say. Instead he handed the phone to Rachel and walked away without another word. Rachel was shocked and put her hand over the phone.

"David!" She hissed. "What are you doing?! Tell them congratulations!" Instead of walking away with that, he came back, took the phone and hung it up. The call went dead.  Murdoc looked at Stuart, wondering what was happening.

Stuart looked to the phone and than to Murdoc "it's dead.... Or they turned it off... My father was on the line...." he said and ended the call. He placed the phone on the bed and looked down "My mom told him to tell us congratulations.... Then the line went dead...." he said sadly and looked at Murdoc

 "Did I do something wrong Muds....?" he asked sounding desperate. He immediately regretted calling his parents.... For some reason no answer at all hurt much more than a negative one. He started playing with his hand looking down.

Murdoc’s eyes widened as he said the line went dead. He quickly sat up, ignoring the dizzy feeling and pulled him close, into his chest. "Maybe the line just went dead? You never know, phones these days can just drop off just like that. Why don't you try and give them another call?" He said, petting his hair gently and calmly. He was worried this was going worse than he'd imagined.

Stuart sighed "I know my father turned it off, Muds...." he said softly worried Murdoc got up that quick "he usually did that when he received news he didn’t want to hear...... He never got on with my uncle, when he was coming to visit us, happened the same, my mom was gentle and polite and my father turned the phone off on his face...." he sighed again. "he's mad...." he whispered. "but at least my mother is happy...." he chuckled, Murdoc heard for sure her cheering.

"You really think I should call again.... Or wait them to call us if they want?" he asked softly still into his embrace. He felt awful.

Murdoc rubbed his back and placed Stuart's head in the crook of his neck, then ran his fingers through his hair. "I think you should at least try.... Here. I’ll do it." He grabbed the phone and hit redial. He heard it ring for a time, then the answering machine came on. He gulped and decided to leave a message.

"Uh.... Hey.... Mr. And Mrs. Pot.... Uh, just hoping you can call Stuart back, it seems we lost your connection...." he bit his lip. "Please call him back. Thanks." He finished and hung up. He felt his heart drop and he held onto Stuart. "It's okay Stu.... I'm sure it's alright love...." he said in a sweet voice. He wasn't sure how to comfort him at the moment.

Stuart's heart drop hearing they didn’t answer. Images of their parents fighting and arguing came to his mind immediately. The voice of his father telling how it was a mistake and his mother crying telling him she was happy and he should be too.

 He curled himself and stood there silent. He was thankful Murdoc called them back it was something really nice and gentle of him. He hoped they would call him back sometime in the future, for now he was feeling awful. Murdoc didn’t notice but he slurred a bit in the recording cuz he was drunk. He could feel it wasn’t alright. But being in Murdoc’s arms felt all right now. He blinked and small tears poured his eyes. He sighed. He just wanted an answer.

Murdoc could feel a wetness around his neck, he knew Stuart was crying. He hugged him tight, then put his face in his hands and turned him towards him. He wiped away any tears and kissed his forehead.

"Love, please don't cry. It's okay. Let your mother talk to him okay? Remember how they had to talk last time? And I was in your room...... And we danced to Stairway to Heaven? Remember that?" He said softly. "We'll get through this.... We always do love.... We always will too. I swear it." He said, placing his forehead against his.

Stuart took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "I love you." He whispered. He believed Murdoc and that everything would be just fine but he just felt awful his parents could be fighting home and he was responsible for that. He was frustrated thinking he wasn't a good son.

He leaned closer and gave his lips a chaste kiss. "Well will get through this Muds, I'm sorry...." he would suggest calling his mother or the twins to give them the news but he thought that as fans probably they already knew about it seeing the media of Gorillaz. He hugged him tight. He wasn't alone at least.

Murdoc smiled and hugged him back. "Do you wanna.... I dunno.... Call my mom? I bet you she'll say something? Maybe? Or if you just want to be with me?" He offered, brushing his blue hair with his fingers. He kissed his forehead again. He didn't mind being this cuddly with Stuart, even if it was during a rough time like this.

He pulled Stuart back onto his lap and sat back against the wall with him. He turned on the TV and played a zombie movie for him. The entire time he pet his hair or rubbed his back. He didn't mind these quiet moments with the kid.

Stuart smiled seeing what Murdoc picked for then to see. He felt a bit calmer focusing on the movie. "I'd love to Muds...... I think she would be happy to know we're engaged... Specially your brothers I guess.... Since one of them is getting married as well......" he smiled thinking that Abigail would be happy to know they're engaged.

He cuddled with Murdoc a bit more. "And of course I want to be with you...." he said softly "the best place in whole world is inside your hug, love" he said fondly purring. He meant that. He calmed himself in a matter of seconds.

Murdoc chuckled and held him close, wrapping his arms and his legs around him. "Wanna wait just a bit and we can try calling everyone. I think it'll go better in a bit." He kissed the back of his neck over and over again, while his hands just ran over the kid. All these small little touches were to try to make sure the kid felt loved and to let him know Murdoc would never forget about him. He also liked to be touchier when he was a bit drunk.

Stuart nodded to his suggestion, maybe it was better wait a bit. Besides watching a movie with his sounded lovely. He giggled when his hands went all over his body. He liked his touches but he was too ticklish as well. He turned around and kissed his deeper. Murdoc tasted like liquor but he cupped his face with both hands and gave him a meaningful and full of love kiss. To thank all his efforts about his parents and all.

Murdoc loved the deep kiss. It was so sweet and loving. He could feel it. He continued to snuggle with him for the rest of the movie. It was a quiet sort of snuggle time with Stuart and he didn't mind it at all. He got to touch and kiss him all he wanted.

Near the end of the movie there was a knock on the Winnie door. Murdoc looked at Stuart curiously. "You think it's Noodle? Or Russ?" He asked.

"Stuart?" David called from outside. Murdoc’s heart skipped a beat. It was Stuart's father. Was he here to hit him? Shit! He looked at Stuart to go get the door.

Stuart was quiet snuggling with Murdoc happily. The movie he had already watched thousands of times so he was more interested in giving his fiancée attention. Suddenly he heard the knock on the door and was taken off the trance he was in. He was about to ask who it was but his father's voice soon came to his ears and he felt his blood running cold. What in the world he would be doing there all of a sudden?

Stuart looked to Murdoc and kissed his forehead "I can handle this." he said seriously noticing Murdoc a bit pale. He wouldn’t let his father lay a finger on Murdoc this time even not knowing what he was doing. He slowly went to the door and opened "Yes father?" he said with a smile opening it and showing he was with Murdoc. He would ask what he was doing there but he was scared he would sound too rude. He hoped at least his mother came along with him this time.

David looked up at Stuart, his face stern. He grabbed Stuart's hand and pulled him to him, wrapping his long arms around him and giving him a big hug and laughing. Rachel was next to them and jumping up and down excitedly. She couldn't stand it anymore and joined them in the hug. She was quite a bit shorter than the two boys but her hug was probably the strongest. She was crying and smiling too.

Murdoc wasn't hearing arguing and he quickly got a shirt on, wondering what the hell was going on. He slowly and quietly walked over and peered out the door, seeing the giant emotional hug fest. He remained quiet unsure what was going on.

Stuart was surprised with the sudden hug. He wasn’t expecting it at all. He could imagine how confused Murdoc should be looking right now. He embraced them two back. He missed them.... And it wasn’t common for him receive a hug from his father. He noticed Murdoc coming closer and smiled. He didn’t have a clue about what was happening but he was happy he wasn’t mad. He didn’t say a work waiting the couple to pronounce themselves.... How many hours they were into the Winnie for them to appear? He was happy but still confused.

David pulled away a bit as Rachel continued to hug Stuart, crying. He smiled at Stuart. "Stu, why the hell would you tell us something so important over the phone?!" He asked. He looked at Rachel and chuckled, pulling her back to him so she wasn't hanging on him. She happened to notice Murdoc and ran to him instead, pulling him into a weeping bear hug. His eyes went wide and he wasn't sure what to do, so he just sort of hugged her back and looked at Stuart helplessly. David laughed and looked back at Stuart, expecting answer.

Stuart smiled to her embarrassed "Muds gave me the idea......" he said lowly. "I'm sorry we didn’t do it in person father, we thought you wouldn’t be happy with it. " he said honestly. He looked at Murdoc with a soft glance. He should just hug her back. Probably his mother would act just the same, maybe a bit less emotional than Rachel. He was surprised both of them were that happy with their decision.

David clicked his tongue, "Well, i’ve had some time to think about it.... Murdoc is probably never going to be my favorite person, but as long as you're happy, then I'm happy......" he looked up at his wife. "Rachel, get off the poor boy. Can we come in?" He asked.

Murdoc chuckled and sort of walked farther into the Winnie with Rachel still bawling, hanging on his neck. She was saying something, but with her accent, the crying, and the muffled talking into his neck he couldn't make a word out of it.

Stuart nodded to his father inviting him to come in. It wasn’t the cleanest place on earth but he thought Noodle and Russel made some effort trying to keep it cool while they were away. Not as tidy as if they would receive his parents. But he hoped it was okay.... Their house was always clean and shiny. Since he was a child.

He leaned closer his mother with Murdoc and gave him an apologetical smile. He knew how his mother was, and she was definitely happy but her happiness should be scaring or making Murdoc uncomfortable by now. He sat down at the table and invited David to do the same while they waited Rachel control himself and let Murdoc go. He smiled to his father. They drove all the way there just to say hi. He was surprised actually.

Rachel finally let go of Murdoc and sat next to David, smiling wide with teary eyes. David waited till the boys sat down across from them and everyone was comfortable, albeit in an awkward silence, at least Murdoc felt.

"So.... Tell us about it." Rachel finally said happily. "How did Murdoc propose?!" She asked all bubbly. Murdoc blushed bright red as he remembered he'd asked after they'd fucked.

Stuart blushed as well it sounded like twenty questions about his life.... Again. He held his hand to make sure he was there for Murdoc. "y'know the regular, kneeling on the floor and asking me if i wanted to marry him.... " he chuckled nervously. He felt awful to lie for his parents but the truth was just a bit too much, he looked at Murdoc. "I cried and said yes hugging and kissing him...." that was true at least.

"We.... Don’t have the rings yet but when he proposed me, Muds had already ordered them...... Customized ones...." he smiled looking to his parents again "they will arrive in no time....  While this doesn’t happen we have these" again he showed them their rings "so people wouldn’t bother us...." he giggled hoping the answer was good enough for them. He looked at Murdoc wondering if he wanted to add anything to his explanation.

Rachel grabbed their hands and looked at the temporary rings. "Oh my God, so beautiful. What will the real ones look like. That's so sweet of you Murdoc, you're so romantic." She said in a giddy manner. She continued to hold Murdoc’s hand as she looked at the ring. Murdoc was quickly realizing with Rachel he was still uncomfortable with close touching. He only seemed to be truly comfortable with Stuart overly touching him. He held himself still though, he didn't want to offend her.

"Uh.... They're black bands, with a green sapphire and a blue sapphire on either side, then in the middle was a turquoise one." He smiled and hoped that was okay. It didn't sound as adorable or romantic when he described it to other people. Rachel seemed thrilled nonetheless. She looked at Stuart.

"When is the wedding? You haven't seen the rings?" She gasped, "We need to invite all your aunts and uncles and cousins. Oh my we'll have to get started on that soon." She turned to David. "How many of your cousins are you in contact with?"

While they bickered about who would be invited, Murdoc looked down, slightly overwhelmed as they discussed all these people Murdoc had never even known existed before now. How many hated him already?

Stuart smiled when she grabbed their hands, he noticed Murdoc uncomfortable with her touches, would talk to him afterwards about it. He giggled hearing he was romantic. He really was.

Stuart started hearing her talking non stop about the wedding.  He noticed Murdoc looking down appearing a bit sad. He held his hand and looked at his parents. "Mom, dad...." he tried to catch their attention. "we have our own ideas for the wedding, soon but we didn’t set a date as we have some things to do with the band first.... And we really didn’t want to invite lots of people, y’know?" he was scared to hurt her feelings but he had to do it for Murdoc. "After the accident I don’t think everyone will accept so easily that I'm marrying Mu'doc, mom" he squeezed his hand, it was a sweet way to tell her 'don’t invite people who hate my husband, please'

 "I just want there people who support or are happy for us okay? I know our family is big, but please." he wanted to say that he didn’t want to invite many people as Murdoc would be uncomfortable but he couldn’t say that. "I want you both there for sure, you and Murdoc’s mom and brothers...." he told vaguely Murdoc had a family too not that big but they cared about him. "the rest can come, but they're not important as you...." he smiled to them and to Murdoc. "yeah lots of work to do.... I know."

Murdoc was grateful for the singer’s interference but it didn't seem to do much help. "Now Stuart, it'll be fine. We all want your happiness, believe me. Half of them don't even know about Murdoc’s um.... Driving record." She chuckled nervously. It was still a bit of a sore subject. She was still holding Murdoc’s hand excitedly and he didn't have the heart to pull it away.

She turned to Murdoc, "Little dove, who exactly on your side of the family will be coming? Your mom and brothers? What kind of foods do they like? Oh, no never mind, i’ll just call her up and ask, I'm sure she won't mind. Now, what kind of reception do you want? You want a big dance floor and you can have your first dance as a couple......" she started crying a bit thinking about how sweet it was. Murdoc blushed profusely at the idea of dancing in front of everyone.

Rachel giggled, "Little dove, you're all red. You're so adorable. I knew under that tough exterior, you were just a bit softie. And look at my boy. He's so happy now, all because of you." Murdoc blushed even redder and brought his hand up to cover his face.

Stuart made the same. He couldn’t really remember how his mother was sweet like that.... Well she just got in touch with Paula once? And she never acted like that. He was terribly embarrassed too cuz of Murdoc, this way she would kill him. He placed a hand over his own face, blushing hard. He giggled after some moments, trying to relieve a bit of stress. He was glad people of the family didn’t know about Murdoc, that was a relief.

"Probably his mother and two step brothers, twins, sons of his mother.... " He explained vaguely wondering that Hannibal shouldn’t appear or her husband.... He imagined him drunk destroying the ceremony and pulled Murdoc close by his waist. He would have to apologize a lot after all his mother did. It was sweet really, but a bit overwhelming. He wasn’t expecting all that support all of a sudden. He couldn’t help but look from time to time to his father wondering what he was thinking about all that. "Maybe we just should hire someone to decide all those details...." he knew they had money and didn’t want to have any headaches thinking about all that.

"Mom...." he caught her attention to see her crying excited. He sweetly smiled to her "don’t need to think about all this now.... I'm happy, Mu'doc makes me happy. He's a lovely man.... And I love him. " he smiled to him "it will be perfect, I promise." he understood her only son was getting married, it was a good reason for her be like that. He wondered how Abigail would react to that. He kissed Murdoc’s cheek to show he was there for him and held his hand again.

Murdoc put his face against the table and hid his arm around his head, completely and utterly embarrassed. It was one thing to do that in public around strangers, another in front of Stuart's mom and dad, who he was already on thin ice with. At least with his dad.

Rachel giggled and held David's hand, in love with how they were with each other. David was a little quieter. Then he looked at Murdoc. "Murdoc, why don't you and I go have a talk? Stu and his mom can talk about guests." He said.

Murdoc became incredibly nervous. He swallowed and looked up nodding. He slid out of his seat and walked with David outside. Rachel called out, "Don't be too hard on the poor boy!" She then giggled and smiled at Stuart.

Stuart swallowed hard thinking about what kind of things David wanted to discuss with Murdoc. He was scared they could fight or something. That Murdoc could be punched again. He would have killed to follow them and be there for Murdoc. However, he would obey David and be with his mother. He gave Murdoc a last tender look and turned his attention back to his mother.

"so mom....what you want to talk about? Guests decoration......?" he suggested "how was the marriage of you and my father....?" he changed the subject a little trying to be less nervous and not think too much about Murdoc.

Rachel beamed, "Ah! It was beautiful. It was a big wedding with your fathers and my family. You know how we both come from large families. I think that's why we only had you. We wanted to focus on one kid...." she smiled sweetly.

"I was actually 3 months pregnant when we had the wedding. No one knew except your father and I. No one still knows except us. We just said you were born early, which was easy, you were so small and skinny...... Now you're tall and skinny." She grabbed and held his hand. "My sweet boy.... We didn't screw you up too bad did we?" She said partially as a joke, partially serious.

Stuart's eyes widened.... Therefore, his parents had sex way before the wedding. They weren’t that Christian at all.... He smiled when the woman held his hand. "No you didn’t, you did the best you could for meet and I'm thankful for that...." he said softly caressing her hands. Maybe it was a time for a serious conversation with her. "always protected me and wished the best for me...." he was overprotected but now it didn’t mind anymore.... He was thankful even for the excesses his parents made.

"I bet it was really amazing mom, you and dad were always in love right? I really hope my relationship with Murdoc is like this.... Always in love and happy together.... Its what we both want." he smiled thinking that their marriage was like a model to be followed.... Not knowing any situation the two of them didn’t get away with. "

Is there any secret to keep the marriage going, mom....? I need to know to take care of mine.... I know Muds for eight years but I want more eighty with him...." he chuckled "And I didn’t screw up with you both too right?" he was asking about his choice of marrying Murdoc.... Not even in his wildest dreams his parents thought he would pick someone like the Satanist to be his husband.... And not cuz he was a man, but cuz he was who he was and did what he did...... He wondered what they were talking about outside the Winnie. No yells so should be all right up to now.

Rachel gave him a sympathetic smile. "Oh honey. You're the best son anyone could have asked for. I know your father and I had a little trouble with you when you were a teen.... I know the blue hair was hard on you.... And I know this whole thing with Murdoc spun your life in a different direction, but it truly all happened for a reason and honestly, don't tell your father, but I think it was the best thing that could have happened for you love. You were so.... Aimless in life. I was worried you wouldn't be able to show your true potential and now look at you." She smiled wide, dabbing the tears from the corner of her eyes.

"And believe me.... Your father and I's marriage are not perfect. We have our ups and downs but we both have learned when to give in to each other. Sometimes i’ll give in and let your father go out with his drinking buddies, even if he promised he'd help me clean the house, but then he let’s me go with my girls out for ladies night and I come home to a...... Mostly clean house." She chuckled. He didn't clean well but it was the thought that counts.

"We each give and take appropriately. Murdoc seems like the type to have a hard exterior but I can tell he loves to dote on you. However, don't take advantage of that. Make sure you give him the same amount of love because, from what you've told me, he probably soaks it up like a sponge. He needs it, even if he doesn't want to admit it. He seems fragile, more so than you." She winked at him.

Stuart heard her words. He was speechless for a moment. He thought he never had such a long conversation with his mother like that. He was glad she came from so far to talk to him. He finally realized how much he missed his mom. He wanted Murdoc to feel the same thing he was feeling, even if he didn’t have may years with his mother on his side.... Was an unique feeling. He squeezed his hands.

"Mom.... Thank you." he said with his eyes watering too. "You and dad are the best parents i could have asked for...." he chuckled. He knew he would have to give in some things for Murdoc and Murdoc would do it for him, as well he knew that pretty well. He was already changing a lot. "Thank you for all the advises i’ll definitely use them in my marriage I promise...."

He looked more serious to her "I'm glad you see Mu'doc a bit more than what everyone sees.... He’s not that.... Bad and evil alcoholic everyone sees.... You’re right when you tell he's soft in the inside.... And...." he smiled even more "managed to reach this interior Mom, I did it...." he felt so proud. "He never knew love, Mom, i’ll show him the love you and dad taught me.... I’ll be a good husband for him...." he sniffled a bit emotional. Talk about Murdoc always made him emotional....

"I'm really happy he helped me become who I am now.... Cuz of him I can make people happy with my singing.... It’s the least I can do for him in return...." he was really surprised his mom thought it was the best for him what happened......  "now I have an aim, mom.... Love that man with all my heart" he said shaking her hands.

Rachel smiled wide. "You're so sweet. You're the best thing that's happened to him too. I know it." She took a deep breath and wiped the tears away. She looked at him again with a sweet smile.

"I don't know how I'm gonna make it through your wedding. So.... Let’s talk about when you want to get married. Soon? Later? I assume most of it is on you, Murdoc doesn't seem the type to plan.... But neither are you.... Oh well, that's why I'm here!" She said happily.

"Well.... We kinda talked about this during the trip.... We want it soon, after the recording of videos are done.... When the band is like with nothing left to do, we take a break and think about the marriage y'know? I think Noodle and Russel would be happy to help us both with it." He smiled "and yeah I think most of it will be with me.... Even not being the cleverest person in the world...." he laughed

 "You planned your own wedding? Or it was grandma? You can help us through that when the time comes mom.... I bet Murdoc and dad wouldn't mind at all if we made it our way...." he smiled wondering how a wedding for his mother would be like. "He told me he wanted it to be at the beach... Black tux for him and a white for me.... Little people and nothing too big.... Just for the closest ones.... He get embarrassed and uncomfortable in front of many people......" it didn't make sense since Murdoc lived on the stage he hoped his mother understood it was a whole different situation a wedding.

Rachel nodded. "I understand. He's a shy boy when it comes to intimacy. Where your father and I are okay hugging and kissing in public, he's more intimate in private.... Well, at least with you. I've, um, seen the live performances." She giggled.

"Like I said, he's a fragile boy. Don't you push him too fast, he'll crack, if you know what I mean." She said seriously. "So a small wedding? That's fine love, we'll still have to invite a few of your closer family members okay? Now Murdoc just has his mom and the twins? Anyone else?" She got up and grabbed a scrap of paper and a pen to write this down.

Stuart blushed when she told him she saw the live performances.... It was embarrassing how Murdoc was lewd in them.... Specially for an old lady like Rachel . He chuckled nervously thinking 'the guy thrusting with that bass will soon by my husband' it sounded like a shame....

Stuart nodded to her statements after.... She sounded like she knew Murdoc for a long time.... Well she knew the Murdoc when Stuart was in coma.... Not afterwards.... However, she said it all so sure she could totally read Murdoc easily. Was that an ability of the Pots? He stored her words in the back of his head.

He was so ashamed they were into Murdoc’s Winnie.... The poor woman didn't have a clue of what they had already done there.... What Murdoc did. He hoped she didn’t notice anything bad. "Oh yes.... He has the husband of his mother.... And his older blood brother, Hannibal. They bickered a lot the last time we saw each other in person... His father is dead already. And we don’t know about his mother's family.... Almaraz." He said vaguely.

Rachel nodded. Of course she noticed how dirty the Winnie was and noticed the dirty clothes strewn about, but she didn't mind. She figured they were boys, it was gonna happen. Another reason she always thought a woman’s touch would be good for Stu, but he was happy, that's what mattered.

"How's his brother? Would he want to come you think?" She wrote down the names and a few others from her side of the family. She looked up at Stuart after writing. She frowned a bit. "So he doesn't have anyone else? I knew he barely talked about family before but he really had no one for so long? How was his father when he was alive?"

Stuart bit his lip "I really dunno mom.......Muds says he would come but I really dunno if it's a good idea.... Well at least we could be polite to invite him" he shrugged and though 'pray for him not to come and ruin everything'

Stuart looked down to the list she made and then to her face with the saddest eyes "A monster" He said lowly "He destroyed Mu'doc's life.... Made it a living he'll since he was just a child, mom." He swallowed nervously remembering all the sad and terrible stories Murdoc told him.

"And no mom.... Murdoc has no one besides me and the band...... His family ever since. He never had a mom.... Never had a home.... Never had love or care.... And his older brother mistreated him too most of times...." he felt a pain into his gut. It was all so sad to talk about. That explained at least a bit of why Murdoc was the way he was and why he was so fucked up when he ran over Stuart.... He hoped it could tell his mother a bit more about him.

"He just got to know his mother and her sons recently.... I helped him through that...... He thought she would never accept that.... And I thought Muds would never forgive her for abandoning him.... We went to her house.... Met her and the twins.... Lovely by the way.... She explained her side of story...... And he had a huge breakdown there.... It was a hard time." He played with his fingers nervously. "But in the end we managed to make thing okay for them.... Probably they would come. One of the twins is getting married soon too...." he smiled.

She gave him a sad look. "Oh love.... He had a breakdown? Poor thing.... Well I'm glad you're here to help him sweet pea. It honestly explains a lot. I remember how much he seemed to hate affection before when he'd come get you. And now look at him being polite enough not to pull his hand away from me." She chuckled.

"Stuart, you're a wonderful young man. I knew he'll be happy with you forever...." she looked at the door to the Winnie, slightly worried. "They've been out there a while huh? You think one of them killed the other?" She half joked. She knew David has disliked Murdoc a lot, but he really seemed to care about Stuart's happiness.

Stuart swallowed his face a bit pale.... "I dunno mom.... I'm worried to be honest...." he said in a low tone "has dad told you anything about what he wanted to talk to Mu'doc?" He said nervously.

He knew Murdoc could deal with David pretty well and he didn't looked like he was up to a fight or anything.... He looked peaceful. But curiosity was killing the singer. Why couldn't he hear what they were saying?

Rachel noticed the boy look a bit worried. She pat his hand and smiled. "Why don't you go save your fiancée. I don't think your father wants to kill him but I bet it's awkward as heck for the poor boy." She chuckled. She knew David was going to talk to him, but she had made him promise not to yell or hit him at least. The exact details of the talk, she was unsure. She'd ask him later.

Stuart nodded to her and stood up feeling bad to leave her alone.... "I-i’ll go back in a minute." He promised going to the door and opening it, scared of what was the other side of it. He swallowed and looked around for Murdoc. "Save his fiancée was something too harsh even for Rachel.

David and Murdoc were leaning against the side of the Winnie near the back end of it, both were smoking a cigarette. When he saw Stuart, he quickly put it out. He was supposed to be done smoking. "Ah Stuart! Do you two miss us? We're coming." He walked towards the door, with Murdoc right behind. He looked equally embarrassed and happy and shocked. David went inside and sat next to Rachel who gave him a kiss. Murdoc walked up to Stuart and gave him a small smile then walked in again. He kept his gaze down a bit and sat down.

Stuart was surprised to see his father smoking. Had been a while since he last saw it.... He lectured him about how it was bad for his health and all that. Long time ago.

Stuart smiled to him back noticing how he looked sad. He frowned and kissed his lips to reassure him. Just a chaste kiss to show him he was there before he sat down.

He sat next to Murdoc and held his hand with a smile. He knew they would have to talk about this afterwards. "So dad.... How was the talk?" He asked absentmindedly trying to break the silence in the room and don't think about how Murdoc looked sad.

He knew he wouldn't want to talk about it now but we'll he wanted to see his father's side of story than Murdoc’s one. He kept holding his hand all the time looking to his parents caressing it softly.

David shrugged, "It was a good talk. Told him what I thought, he told me his thoughts. Real men talk really." He said. Rachel frowned and looked at Murdoc then David.

"Leave the poor boy alone. We should probably get going anyways." She sniffed the air and squinted at David. "Did you smoke?" He flinched and shook his head. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Come on." They both stood up, Murdoc did as well. Rachel gave Murdoc a big, tight hug and kissed his cheek. She then went to Stuart and gave him a big hug, starting to cry again.

David walked up to Murdoc and gave him a small nod. Murdoc nodded back and smiled slightly. Then David did a really shocking thing. He walked closer and gave Murdoc a big hug. He was also tall like Stuart so Murdoc looks small in his arms like he did with Stuart. He froze, but then gave him a hug back. David pulled away and Rachel, who was staring shocked, held his hand as they walked out saying goodbye. Murdoc looked at the ground, frozen.

Stuart was trying to process what the hell had happened in front of him. His father gave him a hug? That was at least.... Unexpected. The talk must have been good at least. He noticed how Murdoc was shaken. He waved goodbye to his parents and went slowly closer to Murdoc......

"Muds.... Are you okay?" He whispered placing a hand on his shoulder. He wanted to hug him about after so many hugs...... He wouldn’t bother him or fill him with questions. He would give Murdoc time off he needed. He looked to his face lifting it a little, so he could look into his eyes.

Murdoc looked up at Stuart and gave him a soft smile. He grabbed him and pulled him into an exhausted hug. He held onto him around his waist and just rested his head on his shoulder.

"I think your dad finally accepted me...." he said softly. It was a bit of a shocking experience for him. He'd never had a father figure and he never had someone even try to act like it for him but.... David just sort of did that for him. It was shocking, heart warming, confusing, and lovely all at once. Murdoc wasn't sure what to feel.

"How'd it go with your mom?" He asked quietly.

Stuart was glad he hugged him. He was even happier knowing his father accepted him. He knew Murdoc should feel confused right now...... He never had a father... And even 2D’s father didn’t like him. So it was really shocking.

"It went nice Muds.... She talked about the marriage and you...." he hugged him tighter "Gave me some advice .... She was just being maternal... She's really happy for us...." he said in a calm whisper "everything is working for us love......" he chuckled and kissed the side of his head.

Murdoc smiled and nodded. "I thought for sure he was going to yell at me. Instead he asked me about my father, which I told him, then he said that was unfortunate and that he felt for me. Everyone needs some type of father figure.... And then he actually apologized to me. And then he told me what he expected from me as your husband......" he looked up at Stuart, a look of happy shock on his face.

"It's surreal, you know? Then we even joked when I said you were taking my name. He actually said that was probably a good call." He chuckled. "Then he said it was good to grow a Niccals family I never had.... Then he bummed a smoke off me." He said.

Stuart smiled wide...... That sounded like a dream. He couldn't believe it. He bit his lip.... "That's amazing.... Muds...." he whispered hugging him tight. "He really accepted you...." he said as he wanted to reassure himself. "I think family is about to grow bigger love......" he laughed.

He was so happy Murdoc would have a father figure in his father now.... All he wished for.... He swayed with him from side to side happy with all that. "What my father expects of you as my husband?" He asked curiously.

Murdoc blushed and hid his face into Stuart's shoulder. "Just to treat you better than i’ve ever treated anyone, ever. And to make sure I keep you happy.... I definitely plan on doing that." He said, hugging him tight. "You're the love of my life...." he said, looking up and kissing him deeply.

"He also said if I hurt you ever again, he'd murder me and make sure no one ever found my body." He laughed. He believed the man too. But he didn't plan on hurting Stuart, so it didn't matter.

Stuart chuckled seeing how easy Murdoc blushed. He was a big softie in the end he could tell. He couldn’t believe his father really apologized to Murdoc, that sounded like a dream actually. 'Grow a Niccals family....' he kept repeating in  his head. The singer was so happy.

"Those things will be easy to do.... Don’t worry he won’t murder you...." he said softly. He slowly broke the kiss showing him his watering eyes. He was really happy. "You.... Are the love of my life." he said in a low tone looking into his eyes. "i think the next step are your family, Muds.... Mine is more than happy to know what will happen with me...." he said with a bright smile, Murdoc had no more reasons to worry.

Murdoc was second guessing himself when it came to telling his Abigail.... He almost didn't want to. He still had mixed feelings about her at times. He knew that what happened wasn't her fault and he needed to get over it but he still felt so bitter sometimes. He hugged Stuart tight, unsure what to feel right now.

"I don't know if I want to tell her or not.... What if she can't come? I don't know......" he said hesitantly. He wasn't good at trying to figure out his feelings, maybe Stuart could help him out.

Stuart broke the hug and looked at him "My love.... There's only one way to know...." he said softly caressing his face "calling her. But that's okay if you don't want to now...... You talked to my parents and that was really brave of you" he smiled. Maybe calling her right now was a bit too much for Murdoc.... Maybe he should use the courage he still had to call her before the lost it.

"And if she can't come that's okay, Muds.... She won’t decline on purpose. You invited her and that's the politest to do...." he kissed his forehead. "I'm right here with you.... You can talk to me about how you feel about her if you want to.... Even I can call her for you if you want " he offered gently. "She loves you.... I know that." He just wanted Murdoc happy.

"I dunno.... I guess.... Maybe tomorrow.... I think i’m, um.... Still a little bitter...." he said, looking down. He felt a bit ashamed of saying it out loud, but it was the truth. He figured he'd be honest at least.

"Is that petty of me?" He asked softly. "I'm still.... Angry I think. I wish I wasn't." He buried his face into Stuart's shoulder. He was a little overwhelmed with emotion at the moment.

Stuart nodded to him "that's okay love......" he wouldn’t force Murdoc to talk to his mother if he didn’t want to. "I think forgiving is a process and you don’t have to forgive if you don’t want to......" he said rubbing his back. "I don’t think is petty.... Are your feelings so you need to deal with them to move on...... If you don’t want to invite her that's okay too...." he kissed his head.

"Take your time...... You want to talk to me about it love?" he offered guiding him to sit on the bed and looked into his eyes. He could see how confused hurt and angry he seemed. He knew forgiving wasn’t the strong of Murdoc...... He was the one who forgive and forget easily all the time. He smiled.

Murdoc laid down on the bed, putting his head in Stuart's lap and looking up at him. He sort of shrugged. "I think it's just hard for me to forget everything. I get it, you know? But then I always get stuck on the 'what ifs'.... What if she had been around when I was young and.... " he swallowed. "Would all of that shit had happened to me? Would my bastard father been better? Would I have even known him?" He purse his lips. A life without Sebastian didn't sound too bad honestly.

Stuart heard him. He was the type that always forgive and forget. He was too indulgent and didn't like anger or hate.... Or keeping bad feelings inside him. He didn't think about what ifs really. But he understood what Murdoc meant with that. He nodded caressing his face and head. "I dunno Muds.... Maybe wouldn't...." he said in a low tone, walking on eggshells with this topic.

"I bet it's hard for you my love... You suffered a lot.... Much more than I did." He looked at him "But you want to forgive her?" He asked softly. Thinking about what if will only hurt you more, love...." he said sadly. "Well I thought sometimes about what would have happened if you didn't do all the things you did to me...." he bit his lip "And I still want everything to be they way it is.... I forgive you.... And I'm much happier now that I have you......" he said whispering.

He knew a life without any abuse from Murdoc’s part sounded amazing. But things were the way they were. They couldn't so anything about it now.... So Stuart rather accept it and live with what he had... Maybe Murdoc would do the same he just needed a bit more of time.

 Murdoc listened to him. The kid definitely had a point. If Stuart hadn't forgiven him then they wouldn't be here now. And Murdoc put him through a lot.... Stuart was way better than he ever deserved. He tried not to dig himself into that hole of despair again. He sighed.

"You're right.... I know that...." he looked up at him and brought his hand up to caress the side of Stuart's cheek. "Why the hell do you put up with me? I can't be worth all this trouble." He chuckled. "What would I do without you?" He smiled.

"I love you...." he whispered smiling to him back and nuzzling this face on his hand. "I can't see my life without you......" he confessed. "Muds we lived together for almost 10 years.... If I hadn't put up with all Gorillaz wound have ended in our first fight...." he shrugged

"You're much more than worth Muds...... You're the love of my life...." he smiled. "I would have done and suffered all over Again if I needed to...." he said honestly. He knew besides him and the other two Murdoc didn't have no one. How could have he gave up and left he alone....?

Murdoc gave him a soft smile. "Do you remember how I reacted when you first played after your coma? And when you sang? I think I dropped the cigarette out of my mouth, I was so shocked." He said softly. His hand traced the side of his face and then went into his hair.

"You were quite spectacular from the start.... You know that?" He said, almost a little sorrowfully. He was hurting a bit. Especially thinking how he could have had this so much sooner if he hadn't been such an ass.

Stuart giggled "I remember...... I thought i was so awful you even dropped your cigarette...." he joked. He didn’t really think Murdoc was impressed or anything at all. "I was surprised after a year I still could play the keyboards and sing...... I should have lost all those abilities.... But for some reason I didn’t...." he frowned a bit. That was another part of the fate.... He didn’t forget anything when he woke up from the coma.... It could have ruined Gorillaz.

He closed his eyes feeling his hand on his face. He blushed when Murdoc complimented him "Thank you, Muds.... We are spectacular together...." he chuckled. He placed a hand on his face caressing it gently just looking into his eyes.... It was just the two of them in the whole world that moment. He felt so at peace

Murdoc chuckled. "How do you do that? You have so much expression in those eyes, even without pupils. Although in the light I can see a little red...... Sometimes I do wish I could see those beautiful blue eyes you used to have.... I saw pictures and even took a peak at your good eye while you were in a coma......" he said softly. He was impressed with the blue hair and blue eyes. Was probably quite the looker too.

Stuart smiled.... "I dunno...." he never thought about his eyes that way "I think it just happens...." he shrugged about his eyes being expressive. He looked a bit sad remembering the eyes he had. "My.... Mother liked my eyes...." he whispered "she liked cuz they were blue as my hair.... She thought it matched y’know?" he chuckled "but now honestly I can’t remember how i was before those black holes......? You still remember?" he asked softly.

Murdoc swallowed, feeling bad again. "I'm sorry Stuart.... If I could fix them I would...." he would miss the black eyes. He loved those the most actually. They were so unique, so cool. If Stuart really wanted to fix them and he could, Murdoc would though.

"Do they still cause you a lot of problems? I know they used to give you headaches. But you've been a lot better lately. Less pills...." he whispered. "I used to hate when you took those.... Scared the hell out of me actually." He admitted.

Stuart was surprised hearing his words "scared? Well I don’t see some colors I guess.... When the sun is too bright my eyes hurt and I can’t see well in the dark either...." he looked down wondering about the damage his eyes suffered. "sometimes I can’t read small letters...... And they hurt a lot when its too dry...... All this gives me headaches I guess...." he said frowning. He didn’t want to hurt or make Murdoc pissed but he needed to be honest.

"I managed to have less pills Muds.... Cuz now I really want to live each day with you... I don’t want to be numb or lethargic.... Avoiding reality at all costs.... I take the necessary to make the pain go away not pop for fun y’know?" he clarified "why it scared the hell outta you Muds? You still hate it?" he asked curiously.

Murdoc nodded, now bringing his hands to hold and play with Stuart's. "I hated when you became lethargic. Do you know how many times I'd find you breathing shallowly, your pulse low, you'd be freezing. I'd fuckin pull you close with a blanket so you wouldn't die. I never told you that and at the time I wanted to do nothing but hit you.... But it did scare me.... If you died......" he frowned. He didn't like the thought.

"Back then I was worried about my band and.... Being alone. I know I hated you but I didn't want to be alone...... Now you're the love of my life. If you left me...." he swallowed at the thought.

Stuart looked at him sad. He felt an arse for making him that worried. He bit his lip ashamed. "i’m.... Sorry Muds.... So sorry...." he whispered. "I promise i won’t do that again." he looked to another direction. Maybe if he hit him he wouldn’t have repeated that again.

Since always he was worried about being alone.... And of all people being left by Stuart. He felt his heart ache thinking about letting Murdoc alone. He instinctively rose Murdoc and held him tight, afraid he would leave anytime. "I won’t leave you. I promise." he whispered to him caressing the back of his head with his hand. "You won’t be alone. Ever." he said firmly. "And I promise you won’t .... "he swallowed "hate me."

Murdoc gave him a soft smile and held him close. "Oh Bluebird. I could never hate you now. Even if you did leave me. I'd be hurt but I don't think I could ever hate you." That was possibly a lie. He could see himself being incredibly petty and doing things outta spite, but he wouldn't admit it. He wasn't one hundred percent sure. Honeslty, deep down he thought if Stu left it'd break him. Completely. He based his life off this one person, what would he do if he didn't have him anymore? He hugged him even tighter.

Stuart noticed the tighter hug and smiled. "thank you...." he whispered. "I just want to spend the rest of my days with you...." he said honestly. "You won’t lose me, not or my pills not for anything else.... I promise..." he chuckled a bit. He didn’t think he really could go ahead without Murdoc. They had been together for so long that was nearly not thinkable a life without him into it.

"We have so many more good things to do love.... Places to visit, food to eat, landscapes to see...." he rocked with him back and forth "everything is boring for me when you're not around...." he confessed.

Murdoc chuckled. "You're right.... You are absolutely right love." He snuggled into him. Just then his phone rang and he tensed a bit. He figured it was Jimmy again. He didn't want to talk to him and ruin this moment. He took a deep breath and inhaled while snuggling to Stuart's neck. He took in his scent and immediately felt calm.

"My Bluebird...." he whispered. "Only mine." He smiled and kissed his neck. He could stay in this moment forever. Sitting here with Stuart was a dream. "What should we do tomorrow? Our first full day back? I don't think I have any plans.... You?" He asked.

Stuart noticed his phone ringing.... Why he didn't want to answer? Well maybe some producer asking about new material or something.... He shrugged.

"I dunno, Muds.... We could.... " he stopped some time thinking "tell our fans were back" he chuckled "I dunno.... Keep working in the songs with the other two? Call your mom?" He suggested "I just wanna rest really.... My parents coming here drained me...." He chuckled embarrassed. They weren't expecting that really. "I wanna spend the day with you.... This I'm sure" he smiled. "Isn't there anything of the band to do......?"

Murdoc laughed and pulled him backwards with him so they were laying down with Stuart on top of him. He pet his hair in a soothing manner and looked up at the ceiling. "Honestly? You wanna know what I really want to do? Hang out too. I'm spent. I know we were just on vacation but I'm so tired." He laughed. "Let’s hang out together for a bit, maybe go out for lunch? We can take the other two, catch up? Post our pictures? Watch the videos?" He growled playfully. "How does that sound?" He was also super spent from the emotional adventure with Stuart's parents. He hadn't expected any of that to happen

Stuart blushed a bit laying on top of him "sounds perfect for me, Muds...." He loved those things involving everyone. He was just surprised Murdoc wanted something like that too. "Our first day off...." He leaner closer "and who knows we can fuck afterwards....? Or make love....? I just want to make my husband pleased...." He smiled to him softly.

Murdoc blushed and smiled wide. "Oh you know i’ll never say no to that sweet boy." He chuckled and pulled him farther onto his chest so he was laying on his stomach looking at him. Murdoc looked down at him and just sort of admired his face. He brushed blue hair from in front of his eyes. "My beautiful Bluebird...." he smiled.

Stuart blushed with his compliments and giggled "only yours Muds...." He said softly. He began caressing his face. He loved those sweet moments they had together. He leaned closer and kissed him. A sweet and chaste kiss. He broke it and whispered "God how I love you......" He smiled pressing his forehead against Murdoc’s. "My Mu'doc......"

Murdoc chuckled. "Only yours Bluebird. You better consider yourself lucky. Not many people have ever had this privilege he said proudly. He had nothing to be proud of but he could pretend.

He suddenly yawned and snuggled into the bed with Stuart. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over them. "It's a little chillier here than in Jamaica huh?" He touched his face gently. "Also looked like you got a nice tan. That's hot." He winked.

Stuart smiled when he put the blanket over them. "Yeah, for a moment I forgot how in the UK is cold..." he cuddled with him. "Did I?" he blushed "At least not I look less like a ghost..." he laughed. "you're.... Greener too..." he chuckled. He was tanned but well his skin tone didn’t help much. He kissed his neck laying with him.

Murdoc laughed and hugged him close as he fell asleep. When he woke up early morning, he looked down to see Stuart still sleeping partially on him. He slowly slid out from under him and covered him up so he would stay warm. He kissed his forehead and walked over to his phone, remembering how he'd missed a call.

When he looked at his phone he noticed it wasn't Jimmy who called, it was...... Someone else. He listened to the voicemail and it turned out to be the jewelers who were making his ring. It turned out, since he was considered a priority client, they rushed to get the rings done. He smiled wide and looked over at the sleeping Stu. He quickly got some decent clothes on and grabbed his jacket heading out.

Stuart enjoyed the evening with his fiancée and ended sleeping with him after a bit more of talking...  He couldn't remember exactly what happened but he woke up alone.

He looked for Murdoc sleepy through the sheets and nothing. He could have woken up earlier for something. He slowly woke up and decided to go inside to see where he was.... Or talk to Noodle and Russel apologize for his parents sudden appearance.

He quickly made the essentials and walked out with Murdoc’s clothes. Too small for him. He grabbed the soaked ones taking them to the laundry again and entered Kong to go to his room and found some decent clothes.

Once he was finally dressed he walked outside hoping to find Cortez somewhere. He would go after to the kitchen to eat but he was worried he hadn't seen the bird yet.

Murdoc got to the jewelry story in a hurry. He practically ran in and stood by the counter excited. When they brought out the bands they were beyond what he had expected. They were a beautiful matte black and the colored sapphires shown so bright. He was impressed.  He didn't take them out of the boxes, just took a quick look. He would look at the engravings later. They were in gold. He left, practically running again. He quickly made his way home.

Cortez was flying around the top of Kong when be saw a familiar head of blue hair. He cawed and flew down, landing on a nearby ledge, cawing loudly at Stu. He missed the two guys who fed him and took care of him from time to time. He hadn't seen them in a while.

Stuart was looking around absentminded when he heard the known caw. He smiled noticing Cortez coming closer. He missed the little bird. He quickly took a look on him scared he could be hurt or thin from lack of food.... He looked okay. Stu leaned closer and smiled to the bird whispering he missed him and starting to tell the bird how was the trip if he could understand.

He went quickly to the kitchen and grabbed a banana for him. He thought he would like. He sat on the ground and started chatting with the bird while Murdoc didn't appear. He would wait for him so they could have breakfast together. Maybe Noodle and Russel were sleeping still.

Murdoc quickly made it home and kept the rings in his pocket jacket. He snuck to the back and found Stuart sitting and talking to Cortez. He smiled and strolled up to him, kissing his forehead.

"Good morning my lovely little Bluejay, what are you up to here with Cortez?" He asked. The bird cawed at him and flew to his shoulder. Thankfully Murdoc’s leather jacket did a decent job at protecting him from the claws. The bird had banana on it's beak, which he then wiped off on Murdoc’s face. He growled and shoved the bird away them wiped his face. The bird gave a laughing sorta of caw and flew off, still laughing. Murdoc shook his head then looked back at Stuart with a smile.

"Come on. We need to shower and get dressed. I have something planned." He said, grabbing his hand and walking back to the Winnie.

Stuart smiled to him "Good Morning love...." he laughed seeing Cortez still a prick with Murdoc. "I think he missed you...." he said standing up. Stuart followed him back to the Winnie "shower and get dressed, this early in the morning?" he joked. "What’s the occasion, Muds?" he entered it with a curious smile.

Murdoc pulled him close and kissed him. "I have a surprise. Now get that cute ass in the shower." He growled seductively, slapping it as he walked towards the shower to start it. He quickly undressed, making sure his jacket was safely laid on the sink counter so the rings were safe in the jacket. He turned to Stuart as he got in and beckoned him to follow, giving him a wink. He was absolutely giddy and he was excited to go through with his plan.

Stuart went quick to the shower undressing and getting under the water. He had no idea of what was happening but he was glad to see Murdoc that happy. "How should I be dressed Muds? Anything specific ? Where are we going?" he asked curious as a child.

Murdoc quickly washed his hair and when Stuart wasn't moving fast enough for him, he started quickly doing his. "Dress normal I supposed, but maybe a nice shirt, you know? Not your weird ones with the damn crazy sayings on it. I want to take you to breakfast and then the surprise is after, yeah?" He smiled and kissed his nose then continued.

When they were done, he quickly turned it off and practically hustled Stuart to dress as he shoved on some of his nicer, newer clothes. He didn't want to spoil the surprise. He put his jacket on and made sure the rings were still there. He sighed in relief when they were. Now he just waited for Stuart to be ready.

Stuart bit his lip "hey i like my t shirts...." he pouted childishly.... He would steal one from Murdoc if that was the case. He was anxious for the surprise and had no clue what it could be.

Stuart was quick to be ready just putting some jeans on and taking a quick look on the mirror. He looked nice for a breakfast. He grabbed Murdoc’s  hand smiling and heading to the door of the Winnie "lead the way captain" he joked.

Murdoc smiled charmingly and took his hand as they walked to the Geep. He helped him in like a gentleman and got in the driver’s side. He drove them to town and took him to a fun little restaurant that served breakfast early. He brought Stuart into the place and sat down with him in a corner booth. A waiter came up immediately.

"Hi guys, what would you like to drink?" Murdoc quickly butt in before Stuart could answer.

"Two mimosas please." He said eagerly. He didn't care of that was a fruity drink. He wanted something with Champaign and it sounded perfect for a breakfast drink. In addition, he was a little nervous, like he was actually going to ask Stuart for real, even if the kid already said yes. All the talk of how their proposal happened made him want to give Stuart a real one they could actually discuss.

Stuart was delighted with the little place. It was really cozy and lovely. He smiled seeing the decoration inside. Even getting a bit nervous not knowing what could happen. He sat down and looked to Murdoc with a smile.

He didn’t know what a mimosa was but sounded funny so he would take it. He placed his both hands on the table playing with his fingers. "Thank you.... For bringing me here...." he said blushing "It was really kind of you Muds...." he didn’t know what to say exactly but he was glad they were there together

Murdoc gave a small wave, as if it was nothing. "No worries Bluebird. I wanted to treat you...." he smiled at him and grabbed his hands across the table, holding them gently in his. He sort of played with them a little and looked up into his eyes.

"Do you know how much you mean to me Stuart?" He asked fondly. The waiter brought over the mimosas just then, interrupting.

"Alright do you know what you want?" He asked, taking out a pad and pen. Murdoc nodded ordered one of the breakfast burritos and then looked at Stuart.

"I want the same as him" he said softly with a smile. Once the waiter was away he could finally answer him.

"I dunno.... A lot...." he chuckled "you mean a lot to me.... Actually everything at this moment... " he blushed confessing. "You have no idea how much I love you......" he took a sip of his mimosa and it tasted funny but he liked it.

Murdoc smiled and held up his drink. "To the many, many years we are gonna spend together, yeah?" He clinked his drink with Stuart to toast and then drank some. He actually drank half of it. He was more nervous than he though and he wish the drink had something stronger than a mimosa.

"You mean a lot to me Stuart.... More than words can describe.... I love you too." He said softly, looking into his eyes. "So what did you and your mom specifically talk about with the wedding? Did you get anything figured out?" He asked.

He smiled and took a big sip of his drink. "Well.... She was blabbering about who she wanted to invite.... And she made a list.... She asked about your family and who would you invite.... I told her about your mother her husband the twins and Hannibal....  But not much decided...... I just told her we wanted it on the beach and asked her how was her own wedding. She said she was already pregnant of me when she got married" he chuckled.

"I suggested hiring someone to see all the details after we finish with band things.... This way we won't forget about anything...." he smiled grabbing his hands to play again.

Murdoc smiled and nodded. "That sounds like a good idea actually. Could we hire your mom. She sounds like she wants to do it and your mom’s a sweetheart." He chuckled. He really liked Stuart's mom. He remembered when he first met her, he thought she was annoying and the only good thing about her was her enormous knockers....

"They were already pregnant huh? Well thank Satan we don't have to worry about that right? I'd have knocked you up eons ago." He laughed and took another sip of his drink. He wasn't great around kids, Noodle was hard enough as it is and she came to them at age 10, they didn't even have to deal with her as a baby or a toddler, though she probably looked adorable.... He shook his head at how sappy he was getting.

Stuart nodded smiling. Hiring his mother sounded lovely. And cheaper. He was glad to hear Murdoc found his mother a sweet heart. At least she wasn't annoying or anything.

"Yeah we would be in our tenth child...." he said dramatically. Of course this wouldn’t happen even if he was a woman. He would take care knowing Murdoc probably didn't want any kids.

"I think she will be perfect Muds.... Picking even the smallest details and crying all the time like she always does...." he laughed and drank another sip. "Sorry she was so touchy with you...... It's normal in our family.... At least on her part...." he explained softly still curious about how Abigail would react.

Murdoc nodded. "It's okay. I kind of learned that early on. My first day coming over to your house and picking you up for my sentence while you were in your coma.... She gave me a hug...... A huge bear hug...." he said remembering back to it.

"I didn't want one nor deserve one. And your mom does one anyways...." he laughed. "She deserves and gets whatever she wants, i’ve learned that now." He said swirling the little bit left before drinking it down. "But I agree. She'll be great for it and I think she could have a blast doing that for her only son." He said, looking down. He wondered how Abigail would react....... That would be best for a different time, right now was about Stuart.

Stuart was surprised...... Did his mom really give him a hug? Even when he was really wrong? They were really kind hearted people, her and her part of the family. He smiled at the sight, Murdoc should be pissed by the time with her boldness. He stored his words 'deserved and get what she wants...' maybe he should deserve and get as well.

Stuart nodded. "Maybe the two of them could work together.... Our mothers.... I mean.... I think they would get on pretty well as decorators..." he looked into his eyes. Rachel already wanted to talk to Abigail not even knowing her.... Would that be a good idea?

Murdoc considered what he said. "True.... She might.... Alright.... I’ll call her later. See what she wants to do. As far as I'm concerned, we need all the help we can get. We know nothing about this kind of shit." He laughed. He was really doing this wedding for Stuart and everyone else really. He would be happy if they just went to the courthouse now and dealt with it. It'd be a nice wrap up after he presented the rings. He gave Stuart a small smile.

The waiter brought them their food and brought Murdoc another mimosa. He drank part of that happily and then started eating. He gave Stuart a sly smile. "So what do you think your surprise is?"

Stuart chuckled and took the last sip of his mimosa. He could feel a bit dizzy already. "No I have no idea...."He laughed "any anniversary? It's not me or yours I know for sure...." He joked.

"Any is the reason I'm happy and anxious to know what it is...." He smiled testing his chin on his palm "can I have some clue of what it is....?"

Murdoc smiled and shook his head. "Nooooope." He teased. He loved knowing all this and Stuart having no idea. He was giddy to do this. He knew Stuart would be a bawling mess later, which reminded him to shove a few extra napkins in his pocket. He ate and sort of fondly stared at Stuart while he ate.

"How's your food? I was happy this little place was open this early. I thought about waiting to give you your surprise after dinner but I decided I couldn't wait." He continued to tease him about the surprise.

Stuart pouted to him childishly. He was happy even not knowing what was the surprise. He would wait patiently. It would be worth it he knew that.

He started eating "It's good love...excellent" he smiled to him eating more eagerly. He was hungry. He blushed nervously "Muds.... You'll kill me.... I want to know what it is!" He said folding his arms "Will I know after we eat?" He asked smiling with his eyes shining. He was scared mariachis would appear singing and playing for them

Murdoc chuckled, "Yeah, after we eat I have another place I want to take you and i’ll show you the surprise there love." He winked and began eating the rest of his food. He downed the rest of the mimosa. It only gave him the tiniest buzz, but it was enough to make him feel a little calmer.

When they finished he walked with Stuart to the car and he drove them to a nearby park. It was, luckily, a beautiful morning. The sun was out just barely over the nearby trees, a small breeze was flowing through those trees. There was a massive pond and a bunch of ducks and swans in it. Murdoc took Stuart's hand and began leisurely walking on the little path next to the pond. There were benches a ways down he could barely see from where they were. He decided he'd do it there when they reached it. Now he'd just enjoy the walk with Stuart. It was nice because there was barely anyone there this early.

Stuart was wondering where the place would be while he ate. He was curious but patient.

Once they were at the park, the singer took a deep breath. He was infatuated with that beauty. It was really a beautiful morning. He smiled. In another times they would both be sleeping at that time and would never be in such a beautiful place.

He grabbed his hand and started walking looking around to the birds and beautiful trees there. "That's beautiful Muds.... You're really surprising me with those romantic places this early in the morning...." He chuckle

Murdoc smiled, glad the kid was happy with where they were at. He was right, they never went anywhere this early. He couldn't even think the last time he was up this early on purpose. He got nervous as they walked closer to the benches, his hands getting a little clammy and his heart starting to race.

"I'm glad you like it. I know it's early, but I really couldn't wait till later for this surprise, I think you'll appreciate it." He brought his hand up to kiss.

Stuart smiled to his hand being kissed and sat down with him in one of the benches. "Don’t worry about it Muds.... I think waking up early and living the day is actually a good habit for us...." he said not really bothered about being there early.

He looked forward seeing the whole park "plus is much calmer here this early...." he noticed there were people around but little.... Not a lot of people and it was good. He looked into his eyes waiting for what he had planned for that day.

Finally he swallowed and started, pushing past the nerves. He kept looking out at the water as he talked. "Stuart.... I know we had a rough start when we first met.... And it was a little rocky for a while. I was still a young idiot, and I was an ass. It was all I'd known. Before you there had been no emotional connections, no reason to be challenged, no hope for a better future. So it took me a while to learn how to be a little better with you." He swallowed, trying to keep his mouth from drying out.

"When I first came back and we got drunk and you got close, I know I felt something. It was like a spark, it just clicked but I had no idea what it was at the time. Then you just kept wearing that outer shell down till you finally reached my little soft, shriveled, neglected heart. Then you took it and filled it with love and light...." he finally turned to look at him, nervous. He squeezed his shoulder in a gentle manner.

Stuart started listening to him and his smile only grew wider. He was so happy hearing those words. He bit his lip nervously blushing hard.

"W-why are you telling me all that, love....?" He said softly turning to look at him fondly. For the singer what was in the past belonged to the past.... But he was curious why all of a sudden Murdoc wanted to talk about their story. His damaged brain had no idea of what could happen. He felt so warm with his words. He wish he could freeze the time at that moment. It was perfect. If just that ride and his words were the surprise he would be happy.

Murdoc smiled at him. "Because I love you.... And I wanna say I know our story started off rough but I can't wait to see where it goes. I'm glad it gets to be with you...." he put his hand on the back of Stuart's head and brought them together for a passionate and gentle kiss. While Stuart was distracted with the kiss, he dug into his pocket and grabbed Stuart's ring. He held it out a bit and flipped the box top open. He made sure to keep Stuart's attention on him as he did this.

He gently pulled away from the kiss and looked into his eyes, a sly smile on his face. "Wanna marry me?" He asked, looking at the ring and bringing it closer for Stuart to look at. He was excited and nervous for him to see it. He hoped he liked the colors and the engraving 'My Bluebird' on the inside in gold.

Stuart looked at him and returned his sweet kiss totally absentminded. He didn't even see Murdoc grabbing the rings. He was in a trance cuz of the kiss and all sweet words. He was a bit confused really.

When he heard what he said his eyes watered and he hid his face with both hands. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was so beautiful and so romantic. The ring was just perfect.... Much better than he was imagining. He smiled wide nodding his head and sobbing, bailing like a baby.

He saw what was engraved in the inside and started to cry even more. It was really touching and he loved to be called his Bluebird. He bowed his head and offered him his trembling hand while he controlled himself to stop crying. He couldn't say anything properly. His free hand muffling his sobs

Murdoc chuckled at all the sobbing and he knew he'd done right. He grabbed Stuart's hand and slipped it onto the ring finger gently. He then brought his hand up and wiped his tears away. He then caressed his face and brought him in for another gently kiss.

He put his forehead against his. "Wanna help me put mine on?" He asked, giving him his ring to put on. He smiled and then gave him his hand. "So i’ll take that as a yes?" He chuckled, looking into his teary eyes. His heart swelled with emotion and he felt so warm. This was definitely a story he could tell people now. He wondered if it was okay he didn't get on a knee a d kneel. He was a little too nervous to do that and it seemed too cheesy for him.

Stuart said a hoarse "Yes...." trying to control himself he was overwhelmed with emotions. He looked at his hand and even blurry cuz of the tears he could see the three rocks in it. So beautiful. More tears escaped his eyes.

He grabbed Murdoc’s ring with his shaking hand and slowly slipped it into his ring finger. It was beautiful and when he saw their hands together much likely they were in the day they were at the store picking the rings he broke down crying and hugging Murdoc. It was a dream for the singer. AND finally happening. He was so happy.

Murdoc chuckled and held the sobbing boy close. He rubbed his back and just sort of stayed with him like that. It was a beautiful moment and one he knew he'd cherish forever. Thankfully there was no one by them  at the moment or they'd wonder why he was holding a sobbing man while smiling. He kissed the side of Stuart's head and brought a hand up to hold his hair.

"I love you so much Stuart. I'm so happy right now." He pulled away and put his hands on either side of the singer's face. He wiped tears away with his thumbs and smiled at him. "Thank you for saying yes." He whispered gently.

Stuart managed to calm himself down so he could look to Murdoc and talk to him like a normal person. "I-I love you too...." He whispered.

"Yes.... Yes, till the world ends Muds.... Yes, till death torn us apart.... Yes even after death... Yes...." he whispered nodding to him. "I want to be yours more than anything in my whole life......"  he confessed sniffling. "Thank you for choosing me.... I’ll be good for us I promise......"

He didn't care about other people looking at him. He didn't care about anything.... He felt be belonged to Murdoc that moment. And that he shouldn't be anywhere else but there. With him. Being loved and cared. It felt so right. He cupped his face and kissed him deeply with all his love.

Murdoc laughed and kissed him back just as deeply. When he pulled away, he smiled and looked at Stuart fondly. He ran his hand through Stuart's beautiful blue hair and looked into his eyes. "You're the most gorgeous person i’ve ever seen. I hope I can make you the happiest. I promise i’ll try my best. You deserve the world and together we'll conquer it." He held his hand and looked at it with the ring.

"I picked a good color for you." He said proudly. He was happy the rings came out exactly how he imagined. "See why I couldn't wait? I wanted to do it somewhere other than the Winnie.... Now you can tell people this story instead of 'Murdoc was fucking me and asked'." He laughed.

Stuart chuckled looking at the rings blushing hard at his compliments.... "I never told anyone we were fucking then you asked me......" he shrugged. He always lied about it. "But now i have another story to tell...." he chuckled "no one is gonna believe that I was proposed in the middle of a park, before midday by the only one Murdoc Niccals...." he shook his head laughing "and that soon i’ll be a Niccals too...... That's really something huh? Romantic and unbelievable.... I think I’m really lucky in the end...."

He kissed the hand with the ring "yeah you picked I couldn’t have chosen better." he said chuckling "and the engraves are lovely.... Thank you...." he smiled "for not waiting...." he wiped the last tears "I love you." he whispered

Murdoc nodded. "I wanted to wake you up and have you come with me to get the rings but I thought I'd try to be a little more romantic now. I'm glad it worked." He kissed him and sort of rest his head on his shoulder and looked out over the pond.

"You'll always be my Bluebird." He said softly as he sort of rubbed his back gently. "So.... Do you want to walk a bit then we can go show off those rings. How does that sound?" He asked as he kept his head on his shoulder.

Stuart immediately nodded and stood up. "Let’s show off to everybody" he said excitedly. He wanted to show his parents the most, or the fans taking pictures. He wanted to show Russel, Noodle and even Cortez. He was proud to have Murdoc as his fiancée.... He grabbed his hand and laughed. He was really happy.

Then he had an idea. He grabbed him by his waist and his hand and slowly started to dance. He started singing Stairway to Heaven a bit too loud. He was happy and his eyes had tears on the corners of them smiling while he swayed with Murdoc in the middle of the park. He didn’t care about anything.

Murdoc wasn't expecting him to grab him and start dancing. He laughed and danced with him. He ever started singing with him. He was too happy to give a shit if anyone saw them. He put his hands on Stuart's shoulders and let him lead. Not like he had much choice if Stuart wanted to lead, his height won out on that, but he didn't mind.

When they finished doing that he looked up at Stuart. "Come on love." He said gently, walking with him, holding his hand. Everything seemed brighter, especially with him not being so nervous now. He pulled some of the napkins from earlier and gave them to Stuart to wipe his eyes since they were still wet and puffy.

Stuart gladly accepted the napkins drying his face "Thank you love...." he whispered "Where you wanna go first?" he asked smiling joining him walking through the park. He never stooped looking to his hand smiling at the sight of the ring. He was even blushing so happy. Those rocks were amazing and Murdoc picked the right type of ring for them

Murdoc shrugged. "I dunno. Wanna go back to Kong now? We can show those other two the rings and then you can take photos and show everyone. Then I suppose I can call my mom and let her know......" he smiled took his hands out of their little hold and wrapped it around his waist. "Then I wanna get you naked and kiss you all over. I only want to see that ring on you."

Stuart smiled wide "You really want all that?" He asked jumping up and down. "Let's go!" He said running to the jeep "A race to the Geep c’mon!" He let him go running with his long legs. He felt so happy. He wanted to do everything Murdoc offered him. Sounded like a perfect day to the singer. Specially if they ended making love to each other. For Stuart he was already married since that moment.

Murdoc grunted as surprised him by running to the Geep. He laughed and followed, but there was no way he could keep up with his ridiculously long legs. He was too happy to care and Stuart  looked pretty adorable so he didn't mind.

When the reached it, they got in and Murdoc quickly drove them back to Kong. When they reached it, Murdoc walked with Stuart in and, thankfully, the two were just hanging out on the couch watching TV. Noodle had her guitar and was plucking it. Murdoc smiled at Stuart and nudged him to tell them.

Stuart groaned to that nudge clearly not understanding what he was supposed to do. Soon he finally realized "guys" he said in a louder tone. "We have something to tell you two...." He was smiling from ear to ear. "Aren't you seeing anything different in ourselves....?" He asked waving his hand dramatically hoping Murdoc would join him.

Murdoc lifted a brow and sort of held up his hand, but didn't wave it around crazily. Noodle and Russel looked over and then at each other. They both appeared confused and oblivious. "Did you guys get your nails done or something?" Russel asked. He wouldn't be surprised honestly, nothing they did surprised him anymore. Noodle shrugged and wondered something similar.

Stuart frowned and stopped waving his hand "Of course not...." he grabbed Murdoc’s hand and showed them both the rings. "Cuss who was proposed properly this morning?" He said proudly. He hoped they would be at least happy.

Russel and Noodle finally understood what was going on and they both took a moment to look before smiling. Noodle jumped up and ran to them hugging them and Russel smiled and nodded.

"Congrats again guys! Good job Muds for actually making it official. They're nice rings." Russel said. Noodle nodded and pulled from the hug a bit to look at them. She grabbed both their hands and held them together to look.

Stuart smiled feeling better they finally understood what was happening. He was glad they were happy. All he could have asked for their family being supportive. "Beautiful aren't they, Noodle?" He asked the tiny girl holding their hands.

He nodded to Russel "I loved them.... I'm gonna show them off to everyone!" He said even more excited and hugged Noodle tightly messing her hair, he wouldn't help he was too happy

Noodle giggled as Stuart hugged her tightly. She was happy he was happy. Actually Murdoc seemed happy to, which is all she could have asked for. A happy band, it made things run smoothly.

Russel laughed, "Does that mean we need to prepare for my social media messages? I have so many  from your guys last post. Good god...." he wasn't lying at all. When they had posted their last message he had an influx of messages asking a million different things. He didn't care but he was just wondering if he needed to be ready for it.

Stuart let Noodle go with a smile. "Well I dunno why they asked in your social media Russ...... They should ask me and Murdoc’s...." He laughed "But yeah probably you'll receive a lot is emails and questions...... Don't worry about it" he waved his hand dismissively "we just want to show were happy together... We don't mind answering anyone's curiosity or hate...." He smiled to Murdoc "Aren't we Muds....?" He leaned closer him and kissed his lips happy as a child.

Russel shrugged. "Probably cause a million people already commented on your guys social media." Russ then nodded. "Alright. Have fun lovebirds." He said going back to the tv. Noodle giggled at their kiss as Murdoc looked a little embarrassed. He still wasn't as good at showing emotion/affection in front of Russ or Noodle.

He nodded to his question. "Right. I don't care what others think about it. They can fuck right off." He said. Russel looked at him for swearing and Murdoc flinched. "Sorry." Russel went back to watching the TV.

Stuart frowned to him for the swearing in front of Noodle as well. He was happy Russel didn't mind at all. He kissed the tiny girls forehead and grabbed Murdoc’s hand running with him to outta the Kong. The day was still beautiful and sunny.

"Muds I want that picture I mentioned." He said excitedly "i’ll put you in position.... Actually I wanted it at the park but I was too busy crying and bailing like a baby......" He chuckled. "Would you mind if I take it here?" He smiled thinking that maybe outta the King the surrounds would be better than his room or the Winnie.

Murdoc followed Stuart and listened to his idea. "What's the picture again? Is it you and me? Or the rings? Just tell me what you need me to do." He chuckled. He was happy Stuart was so happy. He didn't think something as simple as a proposal could ever make anyone that happy, but here they were. At this point he'd probably do anything to make him happy.

Stuart smiled wide. He put Murdoc in a place he thought appropriate and placed his phone a bit far in a position that could catch them both.

He set the timer of the cam and he had 30 seconds to do it. He quickly went and kissed Murdoc showing the camera just his hand raising his ring finger so the only thing that would focus would be it.

When the photo was taken he heard another caw coming from somewhere and he broke the kiss just to see Cortez trying to catch the ring cuz it shone under the sun. He quickly pulled his hand back to prevent him to steal the shiny rocks, laughing. He went to grab the phone to see the picture. He was excited.

Murdoc had no idea what to expect, so he was a bit surprised when the kid suddenly kissed him. He didn't mind though, of course he'd kiss him back. He heard Cortez caw and he laughed. "We'll have to watch that little sucker, I might literally kill him if he steals these rings."

He walked over to the camera with Stuart to see how it turned out. "Do people post photos like that all the time?" He had no idea, he never really looked at social media so this was all new for him.

"Not all the time but i’ve seen it in the internet and found cute" he smiled seeing the result. It was odd cuz his finger was too bloody big but it had worked. He showed him the result

"Don't kill him probably he's happy for us.... His way." He said smiling to the bird. He would show him the ring but he would steal him. "Thank you for the photo, love...." He said softly kissing his cheek.

He grabbed his hand placing it next to Murdoc’s he took another photo making a stories saying "I said yes" it was stupid but he loved doing that putting lots of effects and hearts.... His face was red and he had the dumbest smile on his face.

Murdoc chuckled, happy Stuart was happy. "Welcome, any time love." He got close to Stuart and kissed his cheek then his jaw and to his neck. He nibbled on his neck a bit and gave him a small hickey, then he put his head on Stuart's shoulder and watched him mess with the pictures.

"When you post that I wanna take you into the Winnie and kiss you all over, yeah?" He chuckled and kept his head on his shoulder. He brought his hand closer and started kissing it. He kissed his ring finger. "My Bluebird...." he whispered.

Stuart smiled and shivered with his suggestion. He posted quickly and shoved his phone back into his pocket he grabbed his hand and entered the Winnie closing the door.

He pressed Murdoc against the closest wall making out with him "only your Bluebird...." He said whispering cupping his face with both hands and kissing him deeply. "My husband...." He whispered between kisses.... "My black bird...  My love...." he started kissing his neck and pulling him close by his waist. "My life...." He said into his ear.

He wanted to make Murdoc to get the incident with his parents and release a bit of tension as they talked about his paranoia too.

Murdoc was surprised by the his sudden kissing session. He thought for sure Stuart would want to mess with the pics a while longer he chuckled when he pressed him against the wall. He kissed him back eagerly.

"Yours...." he kept repeating. He grunted a bit as he pulled him close by the waist, his pants becoming uncomfortably tight. He shivered when he whispered into his ear. "Oh fuck...." he moaned out and held onto Stuart.

Stuart didn't even care about the photos anymore. He loved the result of them and posted.... His phone was almost stopping with so many notifications but he just wanted to give his fiancée attention right now.

Stuart guided him to the bed and laid him down still kissing him. He knew Murdoc wanted to kiss him all over but something was telling him to thank Murdoc for the surprise.

He took off his own shirt and Murdoc’s hugging him and kissing his chest and belly.... Going down slowly and coming back to his face. Taking time in each kiss, putting all his feelings and love in each of them. He grabbed his hand and kissed the ring. He felt like living a dream. Murdoc was his....

He kissed his neck while his hands ghostly run all over his body. He kissed his lips quickly and looked into his eyes deeply placing a hand on his face "Do.... You love me....?" He whispered


	60. End

Murdoc didn't think Stuart would take charge but he loved it and he wasn't going to say no. He chuckled as he kissed him all over. He could feel the love of each and every kiss. He felt his hands run all over his body and he shivered from the simple touches. He let out little grunts of pleasure.

When he looked at him and asked him that, he looked back at him. "Yes. I love you more than anything." He whispered back. He felt his face flush a slight red. It was such an intimate moment, he felt really vulnerable.

Stuart chuckled seeing him that red. He kissed his cheeks his nose his forehead and than finally his lips. He changed position with murdoc and laid under him. "Didn't you say... you wanted to kiss me all over, my love....?" He said full of lust purring.

His eyes shone with desire and adoration, his mouth was half opened and his face was a bit pink. He swallowed seeing the beauty of the man over him. Murdoc was all his. He smiled "I...... Love you......" He whispered.

He swallowed and smiled as he looked down at him. "I love you too Bluebird." He said as he leaned down and started kissing his forehead, down his nose, to his mouth, where he lingered a bit with a deep kiss. Then he continued down his chin to his jaw. He kissed down the side till he got to his neck, which he then started to give hickeys.

He had the worst hard on and his jeans felt way too tight. He rolled his hips into Stuart and moaned as he sucked and kissed Stuart's neck. "Fuck you're delicious...." he whispered. He then kissed down to his collarbone and down to his nipples. He sucked and nibbled on one and played with the other.

Stuart blushed even harder when he complimented him. His mind went blank when murdoc started kissing him. All he could feel was deep and sincere love. He bit his lip to hold back his small moans, his body shivering all the time.

He was getting a hard on himself as well but controlled himself the best he could. He would let murdoc do what he wanted with him. He moaned a bit louder when he found his nipples. His hand went to caress his hair and face. He closed his eyes whispering he loved him.

His hands went to Murdoc’s trousers and started opening them. He needed him closer he needed to touch and feel him.

Murdoc felt his hands going to his jeans and pulling the fly down and unbuttoning them. He smiled and brought his own hand down to push down the jeans and underwear. He grabbed Stuart’s hands and guided them to his cock so he could stroke him a bit.

He came back up and kissed him deeply. He then began to undo Stuart's pant and he came down to his cock he pulled out. He licked up the shaft and then put his mouth around the tip and swirled his tongue around it. He kept his eyes on him the entire time.

Stuart was happy he got rid of their pants. They were really on the way already. He stroked him eagerly noticing how hard he was already.

When he came to his cock, he moaned even louder. He tried to look down to see his eyes but he just closed his eyes feeling shivers down and up his spine. He loved that abnormally long tongue and how his mouth was warm. He instinctively spread his legs so murdoc would have more room.

Murdoc chuckled as he noticed Stuart spreading his legs. He put a hand on his thigh, the other went to hold the bottom of his shaft. He then went further down, putting his cock into the back of his throat. He then started bobbing his head up and down, his tongue wrapping around when he could.

He kept his eyes on Stuart as best he could still. He moaned around his cock, making sure he felt the vibrations. He lifted his head, the cock coming out of his mouth with a pop. "Are you my dirty bird?" He asked, as he stroked him with his hand. "I saw you spread your legs for me." He chuckled.

Stuart moaned and gripped the sheets of the Winnie feeling that vibration. He arched his back drowning in lust. He nodded frantically. " Yes.... Your and only yours.... I belong to you." He whispered and spread even more his legs. "I want you...." He whispered blushing hard.

"Your mouth feels amazing Love...." He chuckled. "I'm sorry I can resist you...." He smiled biting his lip. His hand caressed his face. "Muds...." He called his name fondly.

Murdoc shivered at him calling his name and he smiled, grabbing the lube in the nearby drawer. He lubed up a few of his fingers and brought them down to his entrance. "You know I love it when you call my name. Keep doing it while I make love to you." He said.

He pushed two of his fingers in as he kissed him roughly. He started moving them back and forth. "Say my name and who you belong to." He said between kisses. He could feel his own cock twitch and precum start to drip out slowly.

Stuart smiled and moaned when he felt those fingers inside him. He nodded to his request and folded his knees allowing him to have full access to his entrance.

He felt shivers when he kissed him that rough. 'Muds......" He moaned "Mu'doc......" He said a bit louder his voice full of lust "I belong to you......" He whispered thrusting himself on his fingers. "I belong to you Mu'doc...." He grabbed his hand and kissed his ring finger "forever... " he smiled.

Murdoc continued to move his fingers in and out. Then he finally added a third finger. He brought his kisses down to Stuart's neck, kissing him softly and adding more hickeys. He could feel his cock continue to twitch as Stuart talked to him and moaned.

"You're my pretty little Bluebird. You love it when I take care of you don't you?" He whispered. "You're mine and only mine forever. I love you." He said, moving down and making more marks as his fingers moved in and out, a little faster.

Stuart was a moaning mess under him. He nodded kissed him and felt his neck being marked. That third finger had him almost screaming. He desperately wanted more. "Only you.... Can take care of me, Muds...." He whispered. "Only you can touch me.... Can make me feel -ah - good......" He said pulling him close for a deeper kiss.

Murdoc took his fingers out and lined himself up and slowly pushed into him. "Only mine." He grunted as he pushed himself all the way inside him. He gave him a rough kiss and started thrusting in and out of him rough and kiss. He was supposed to make this nice and gentle but all he could think about is making Stuart his. He looked into his eyes as he fucked him.

"Keep saying my name." He panted. His hands came up and ran through Stuart's hair lovingly. "My sweet singer, my love, my Bluebird." He whispered.

Stuart shouted when he started mercilessly pounding inside him. Tears rolled his face and he crosses his legs around Murdoc’s waist. Even not being kind or gentle he loved it.

"Mu'doc.... Muds.... Love.... Ah...." he moaned and said loudly with all love and lust he had. Then he whispered against his lips "My Mu'doc... Mine...." He said with his eyes half open biting his lip hard to hold back his moans.

Murdoc kissed his mouth and kept his lips against his just slightly. "Don't keep those beautiful moans inside. I want to hear them. They're the most beautiful things in the world." He kissed him again. A hand went to one of the legs wrapped around him.

"Fuck.... You feel so good around me...." he smiled wide and wiped the tears from his face as he fucked him harder. He knew he wasn't going last much longer but he wanted to hear him be so much more louder. "Be loud for me love." He whispered.

Stuart nodded and obeyed his order. He started moaning louder not holding himself back anymore. He moaned his name that he loved him and how good he felt with his voice full of lust.

He shyly started stroking himself after some moments knowing he wouldn't last long. He spread his legs again and let his orgasm hit him hard squirming and holding him close arching his back. "Please cum inside me Muds...." He whispered breathlessly against his ear. "Please!" He said with his pleading voice clenching his walls around him.

Murdoc felt him cum, his walls spasming around him. He couldn't take it anymore. He came inside Stuart and let out a choked moan. "Fuck yes.... "He collapsed onto of Stuart, letting his orgasm roll through him. He laid there on Stuart's chest panting hard. "You're amazing Stuart...." he whispered. He lifted himself up and kissed him passionately, his hands running through his hair.

Stuart once he could manage himself to stop panting kissed murdoc back passionately. He was breathing hard still feeling the waves of orgasm run through him. He slowly broke the kiss and kissed his forehead instead "no.... You're amazing my love ...." he whispered with a smile then hugged him rubbing his back "You're the best thing ever happened to me......" He confessed taking a deep breath "Please don't ever leave me......"

Murdoc smiled and closed his eyes as he rubbed his back. "Never love. I’ll never leave you." He whispered. He was so happy and so content. "Are you still sure you're okay with the rings?" He said, holding his hand up a bit and holding it in the bit of light there was. It let off a bit of a shine and it was really gorgeous with the matte black.

Stuart nodded weakly.... "Of course my love, why wouldn’t I be?" he chuckled looking at their hands. "they're gorgeous and different...... Regular ones are from silver or gold and you decided for something totally different and so unique...." he looked at him "just like us...." he joked and kissed the finger with the ring "my blackbird and me, your Bluebird...." it was just perfect for the singer, he was still on cloud nine thinking about the rings.

Murdoc chuckled and looked up at Stuart, his head resting on his chest. "Wanna check the messages? I think we gave people enough time to look, yeah?" He said. He was a little nervous still seeing the messages from the people but last time they were mainly supportive.... Mainly....

Stuart nodded. He was curious as well but right now barely thinking about them or what was happening, he was a bit drowsy after sex. He smiled going to his jeans that were laying on the floor to look for his phone. Some cum oozed from his ass but he didn’t mind at all. Soon he was with his phone looking through the messages.

"God, more than one thousand comments...... In what? Half an hour? How long does us shagging take?" he laughed seeing how adorable the photos were, he hoped murdoc wasn’t embarrassed cuz they were terribly cute and sweet.

Thankfully the one with the ring none of their faces appeared. And the one he took of their hands could really show how gorgeous the rings were. He smiled fondly to them not really believing he was allowed to post such pictures with murdoc of all people. He looked at him and kissed him tenderly. He would remember to send those pictures to his parents later.

Murdoc chuckled after the kiss, "Yeah, I suppose. What are the comments saying? Anything crazy? Or how I'm super awesome?" He smirked and scooted over so Stuart could lay next to him and they could look at the comments.

When Stuart laid down next to him, he put his head on his chest to look at the phone. He was tired but happy. Everything seemed to be going right for them. Nothing could ruin this moment.

Stuart narrowed his eyes to see through them "Well Muds.... Some say that's cute sweet and they don’t believe you could actually be this romantic" he laughed alone "others are saying how they're jealous wanting a ring from Mu'doc Niccals as well...." he looked through more.... "some saying the ring match with my eyes and hair...." he rolled his eyes. "Mostly supportive, love...."

Murdoc laughed, "Course they match with your eyes and hair. You were my muse when I made it. The black could also signify my soul." He joked. "I'm happy they're mostly supportive. No crazy one, yeah? And no one else is getting a ring from Murdoc, they wouldn't be able to handle all this." He gestured to all of himself and chuckled.

Stuart chuckled and rolled his eyes to his joke continuing reading the comments. He frowned to one in specific "Murdoc Niccals the name of a liar...... You people are all seeing this stupid ring.... It looks a lot cheaper than this one he brought to me long time ago." then there was an image of the ring and the woman's hand "Yeah everyone Murdoc dropped me in a blink of an eye promising we would get married and be together.... He said he loved me.... I was so blindly in love I believed him.... And it was in a time he had NOTHING to offer me... He was poor, was living in my house cuz he had nowhere to stay or money to eat, had to take care of this vegetable guy couldn't work cuz of that and was fucked up.... I helped him through that and he run away from me and as I can see now he's famous and rich he could fool around with this silly blue sod...." he read it thinking was a bit too specific.

"You'll be dropped just like I was, blue boy. Murdoc Niccals is no good. He doesn’t love anyone but himself. You’re next in line." She finished the text that Stuart read to him. "Muds would you mind explaining me who this woman is or what's her talking about?" He asked gently showing him the picture of the ring, her and the comment. It looked like really personal for someone lying or bluffing.

Murdoc looked at him curiously and then the picture and read the comment. His eyes widened a bit, but he tried to conceal it. He shrugged, "Uh yeah, that woman was obsessed with me when I was taking care of you. Let me stay with her and everything and I may or may not have gotten her a ring to get her to shut up about "our love". I was in too deep and didn't want to be there anymore, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. Thankfully you woke up from your coma and I was able to book it out of there. I thought she'd have given up by now......" part of it was true. He thought he had loved her, but he realized after loving Stuart that he really hadn't he may have used her more than he realized, but he wasn't going to admit that to Stuart.

Stuart looked at him feeling a bit bad. Not cuz of what the woman said but cuz murdoc never told him anything about it. He locked the screen and stopped seeing the comments...... "why you never told me.... About this....?" he looked down. He really thought he was the first.

"Is there...." he swallowed "any other person who.... You did something like this....? Or you thought you liked...... ?" He asked in a whisper. He didn't know if murdoc really didn't remember or wanted to hide from him. He was washed by a big feeling of sorrow all of a sudden. He kept looking down thinking if murdoc would lie to him.

Murdoc saw the kid look really sad all of a sudden. He felt awful and guilty. Shit. "Stu, it wasn't like our relationship at all. I thought maybe I loved her, you know, she was taking care of me and stuff and I just got attached. Then you woke up and I realized she was just tying me down. There was nothing there. And I don't know what she's talking about, I stole that ring...." he said, panicked.

Stuart kept looking down hearing his words, murdoc looked desperate. He stood up and started putting his clothes back silently. He wasn't in the mood for anything right now. He wasn't really mad at murdoc just a bit sad he didn’t know any of that. "That's okay Muds.... Mind if I be alone for a bit?" He said in a low tone putting his shirt back.

Murdoc was heartbroken watching him put his clothes back on. He laid there watching him unsure what to say. When Stu needed a moment, he knew he needed to give it to him. "Okay...." he said sullenly. "If.... If you're sure...." he said. "Um.... I'm here if you need me love." He added. He didn't want to dig himself into a deeper hole by trying to add more.

Stuart gave murdoc a small smile noticing he was sad. He didn't want to make him sad but he needed some time for himself. He gave him a kiss on his forehead glad he didn't ask him to stay. He would come back after.... He grabbed a package of cigarettes that were in the Winnie and his lighter.

He walked outside and decided to go to Kong's roof. He needed a smoke and some time to think. He couldn't believe murdoc actually hid something like that from him. He felt hurt and betrayed in some degree.... But he didn't want to show murdoc how hurt and sad he was. Or fight with him for something that happened so long ago. They had a solid relationship now and he believed murdoc had nothing serious with that woman.... He believed his story but he just needed some moments alone to assume this. He felt a bit jealous when he said he loved her.... He needed to put in his head that murdoc wasn't the person he was gonna get married with. Not anymore.

He grabbed a cigarrete that was in his pocket and lit it looking to the cemetery below. It was a beautiful day what helped the place not look that scary. He could see in the distance Cortez cawing looking for something to eat. He smiled and sighed grabbing his cell phone to look for other comments maybe supportive ones and stalk the woman's profile. See who she was. He noticed there was a private message from her as well that he decided to take a look.

Murdoc watched him leave and groaned as he shut the door. He couldn't believe all that just happened his past came back to bite him in the ass at the worst possible time. He didn't know if Stuart was sad, angry, upset, jealous. He couldn't read anything from that.

He hit the mattress, pissed. "Fuck, and it was such a good day too...." he sighed. He wasn't sure if he should go find Stuart or just let him be. He didn't like the thought of him possibly upset on his own. He ran through all the possibilities but ultimately he decided to leave him be. He got up slowly and got dressed. He wasn't sure what to do with his time alone now. When he thought about it, he hadn't been a lone in.... A while. Not like this anyways. He decided to maybe pick up his Winnie for the first time in ages. Maybe just staying busy would help.

Stuart wasn’t expecting Murdoc to follow him. So he stood up there for a while. The message from the woman just said the same, some more information about her, like she was married and happy with someone who was really worth.... Saying that he should take care with murdoc and some pictures that made it more true. Stuart didn’t bothered answering her at all. It was past but a part of Murdoc’s past that really hurt him. He wouldn’t show it murdoc either.... The other comments were either supportive or full of hate, no other of this kind again.

He looked down and saw that murdoc didn’t get out the Winnie. He sighed and decided to go to his room, maybe play his keyboard or watch a movie. Something that could help him be distracted, work on music.... Maybe his pills could help him deal with what he was feeling. Maybe numb he wouldn’t bother Murdoc with his emotional bullshit.

Murdoc finished picking up the Winnie and was unsure of what to do with himself now. He looked at the fridge and licked his lips. Drinking sounded good. He didn't like being alone with his thoughts. He didn't hear anything or get that paranoid feeling yet, but he was nervous he would.

He walked over and grabbed a bottle and took a small gulp. He felt okay, but it didn’t change anything. He hated the quiet. He walked to his stereo and put on some music. He tried to remember what he used to do before he was with Stuart all the time. Drinking, fucking, jacking off or bass playing was what he normally did.... He decided to watch a movie.

He walked to his bed and turned on the TV. All he had was Stuart's zombie movies. He clenched his jaw and drank a bigger gulp of his liquor. He felt a small buzz started. He was realizing quickly he didn't like being alone anymore. He missed Stuart's touch already. He missed having his head on his lap, petting his blue hair while they watched a movie. He took another gulp, then another as he played a movie.

Stuart went to his room and closed the door. He sighed, on his bed just his stuffed animals as company. He grabbed the big one not to feel alone. He wondered what murdoc was doing and noticed he didn’t like his absence. They were always doing something together...... He couldn’t remember the last time he was apart from him. He looked at the orange bottle he knew pretty well. He took a handful of his pills to see if he stopped overthinking. All the was thinking about was murdoc and that girl. They living together her taking care of him...... He loving her...... He felt nauseated for a moment.

He looked around his room and grabbed his keyboard. That reminded him a lot f how things were before murdoc. He didn’t like it at all. He looked at his hand with the ring while it was on the keyboard and missed murdoc. He started playing a sad melody, as his heart was sad as well. He could feel the medicine working and making his thoughts clouded. He felt a bit better now. He was even laughing...... But soon his laugh became a small sob.... And before he could notice he was crying. Crying over this overthinking, over what murdoc hid, over his fears, over everything. He hugged his biggest bear feeling lethargic after his painkillers.

Murdoc soon became drunk and was tired of being alone, finally having the courage to go see Stuart again. He got up slowly, nearly falling back onto the bed. When he felt stable he staggered to the door and out, walking towards Stuart's room. He'd try there first and if he wasn't there, then he'd look around till he found him.

When he reached his door, he knocked and listened. He heard some keyboard sounds so he must be in there, thankfully. He wasn't sure he could make it through Kong this drunk. He knocked again.

"Stuart...." he said through the door. "Please talk to me.... I miss you." He said. He was leaning up against the door, unable to stand up fully on his own. He tried to listen for Stuart, any type of reaction would be nice really. He wasn't sure what sort of emotion to expect from him.

Stuart heard someone by the door and recognized immediately as murdoc. He let out a small smile. He went closer the door feeling dizzy and lethargic cuz of the big amount of pills he had. He leaned against it unable to stand up alone.

"Muds...." He whispered his voice hoarse from crying. "I'm so sorry...." He slurred against the door "I miss you too...." He sniffled. "Are you mad....?"

Murdoc was relieved when Stuart talked to him but he recognized that drugged slur anywhere, even drunk. He was high. Murdoc felt horrible for causing it.

"No.... Can I come in? Please?" He asked, hoping he could stand long enough for him to walk in and no collapse on his bed, if Stuart let him in that is. "Are you mad?" He asked.

Stuart nodded to himself alone and opened the door letting him in. He shook his head and wiped his tears "I'm not mad...." He said with a smile. "I'm just a bit hurt Muds.... But it will pass...." He leaned closer him "You drunk?" He asked whispering noticing murdoc couldn't stand up properly and smelled like booze.

Murdoc nodded and walked in, immediately hugging Stuart. "I quickly realized how bloody dreary it is without you...." he whispered, burying his face into his neck. "I'm sorry." He pleaded desperately. "I'm sorry I never told you, it never mattered to me, not like this. I didn't even have second thoughts leaving her.... Please don't be upset with me." He slurred.

Stuart hugged him back noticing he was drunk and emotional. "That's okay Muds.... Im not upset...." He whispered rubbing his back "I love you...... Please don't ever hide anything from me...... It hurts a lot finding out this way... Through other people...." He asked pleasingly.

"Without you is so...... Sad Muds...." He laughed "the world loses color when you're not around...." He slurred high. Hearing murdoc that desperate broke his heart.

He snuggled into his neck. "I’ll be honest. I completely forgot about her. I was drunk half the time I was with her. I don't even remember her name or what she looks like. She meant nothing." He kissed his neck. "I promise I won't hide anything from you anymore...." he felt a pang of guilt, he was hiding something, but once he dealt with it that was it. "Please promise me you won't get high anymore." He added.

Stuart nodded to him. "I'm sorry...." He felt bad being high "It hurt...." He slurred feeling really guilty but believing murdoc wouldn't hide anything else from him. "I promise...." He said looking for his mouth to kiss it. "I'm sorry I'm a mess...." He whispered against his lips. "I don't work right without you...."

Murdoc chuckled and looked into his eyes. He definitely wasn't better. He was drunk right now. "Me neither.... I'm sorry." He said, closing the tiny gap and kissing him as passionately as he could drunk. His hands came up and ran through his hair. He sort of stumbled them to his bed since he knew he couldn't stand much longer. Once they were on the bed, he held him close.

Stuart felt whole world spinning when he hit the mattress.... But for him his whole world was murdoc. He hugged him back tightly like his life depended on that.

"You love me don't you....?" He slurred again. "Why you love me Muds....? A stupid addicted.... Who can't even the his own shoes alone...." He chuckled looking into his eyes high as a kite. He run his fingers through his hair. "I love your hair you know that....?" He smiled like he was touching Murdoc’s hair for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this story unfortunately doesn't have an end.  
> The co-author chose to take her name out our work for no aparent reason.  
> We wrote up to here and due to personal issues we don't talk to each other and we're not friends anymore.   
> Thank you for each person who took a while to read this and all the support, means a lot to me.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://mabsgatos.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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